Bachelor Happy Hour - Be Firm but Fair | Golden Hour

Episode Date: June 13, 2025

Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re getting into more of your questions! We kick things off with our question of the day: Have you ever gotten tough love from someone? Kathy and Susan give their answers as they reflect on tough love and parenting. Then, we jump into your questions, and our advice is all about the balance of firmness and fairness. We discuss a father who regrets having children, past parenting mistakes, and the chaotic aftermath of getting ghosted. Plus, we end today’s episode with another round of “Red Flag or Red Rose?” Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcasts. You know I get down. You come from the urban areas. You understand politics more than you giving credit for. Between Jerry out here, Mandarin all over the place, hop-out boys snatching up family members

and two wars that was supposed to be done in 24 hours. Not to mention Epstein. We had to reach out to the homie Jamil Hill because she's going to keep it a century. The American public is used to being entertained. We're a consumption society. So what Trump figured out is entertain them, and they'll never question you. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it off. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing,

where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on. me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No such thing on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. No such thing. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people

with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I'm Jamel Hill, host to the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics,

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Betrayal Weekly is back for season two with brand new stories. The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot. I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me. I feel trapped. My breathing changes. I realize, wow, like he is. Not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster.

But these aren't just stories of destruction. They're stories of survival. I'm going to tell my story, and I'm going to hold my head up. Listen to Betrayal Weekly on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back, everybody, to Bachelor Happy Hours. Golden Hour. Thank you so much for coming to join us again. Kathy and I are so excited to be back. Always excited to be back. We've had a great week. Spring is sprung. I was telling you earlier, Susan, I'm having my house spit shine for the spring. I mean, not, I'm like you, I'm having things.

Isn't it a great feeling? It is. Like the guy that's doing, he's power washing my deck. He's staining, restaining my deck. He was up there cleaning the ceiling fan. He goes, when was the last time this ceiling fan was clean. I said, I've lived in this house 17 years ago. When was the last time it was clean? I said 17 years ago. Your cleaning lady doesn't do that? The ceiling fan outside on the porch? Oh, outside. It's a ceiling fan on my

covered porch. So no, she doesn't. Because I was going to say, why is he in the house? Because what? Oh, no, no, no. He's power washing and then coming in. Yeah, no, we're not power washing in the house. However, can I just say my PSA for today is, when you power wash your house near the windows, Unless you have hermetically sealed windows, you better be falling around with a towel because there's going to be water on your floor.

Okay, today, not like we're talking about spring cleaning, but we're going to be answering some of your fan questions. So make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them. We love answering them. We love thinking about them. All you have to do is go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour. Submit away. Yes, ma'am, because that's what we're here for.

We love giving advice. We love your questions. especially love the updates, all of it. You can also DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Okay, today we're going to have fun. We're getting into the episode. We're going to start with the question of the day. And I've got to tell you, Susan, this is not an easy one for me to answer. So I'm hoping you'll carry it on this one. Okay, ready for the question? Mm-hmm. Okay. Was there ever a time that you received some tough love? How did you react? and looking back, do you feel differently about it?

Honestly, remember before we touched on the tough love, I had to give tough love. And it's the hardest thing I've ever done. But I don't think I've received. Have you? Well, I'm, I don't know. I mean, I'm such a rule follower. I don't break rules very often. So, you know, tough love to me.

I didn't cheat in school. I've never, didn't, I don't, not a thief. I don't steal. So no, I don't really think I've. How about people out there listening? Yeah, we like to hear. Because you know what, as it's, when we have children, which you and I both do, we've had to, we've had to exert tough love on our kids. But I think as you get older, you know, again, if somebody cheated on,

somebody you get divorced i mean that's tough love well that's i guess yeah but or if you painful yeah i mean those are painful things but as an adult i would hope that you're not having that we're not having tough love nobody's giving me tough love i i'd hey listen i just want love i don't need tough love i just want to be real let's be real let's be real was there ever time that i received some tough love no am i ready for love yes yes that's i mean i don't know what else to say about that. I know. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. Because I don't recall, like, well, like you're getting a divorce. Tough love is, you've got to accept it and move on and things like that.

I mean, I think it's hard. We both talked about tough love for our kids, for our children. And that's always, that's when parenting. That was the most difficult time. That's when you're wondering, why the hell did I have kids? Like, that is not fun. And I don't recommend it. What, having kids? No, given tough love. You don't recommend it. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

But you don't recommend it? I mean, it's not easy. You have to. It changed. It works. Let's just say that. But it might be the hardest thing you ever do, especially with somebody that you love so much. Yep.

And I think it has to be consistent. Like you can't go back once you've taken that step. You have to stand firm. I wonder if, so here's the question. Folks, write in and tell us. Like, raising kids, we're doing our own question of the day here, raising kids is so hard. Because you want to be fun and you want to be their friend, but you can't, you're a parent. You're not, and you're not, even when they get older, like, and by older, I mean in their 30s,

and especially when they start having kids, then it becomes like a friendship. But it's not, it's, you know, people think when they have a baby, oh, it's going to be so fun and so, no. It's, it's, there's great times, but man, it's hard. hard there's moments there's moments as a grandmom though driving down with stella who just turned four and then my other granddaughter turned four we went for her birthday yeah and they love each other watching those moments yeah it's precious they don't get to see each other that much though right or do they i'm no as often as we can every few months yeah yeah it's so cute i mean that's the other they just love each other yeah and family getting family together is so important i love it in fact

You know what I'm doing this summer? I am going to Canada with all my kids and my two grandchildren. Did that finally happen? Yep, we're doing it the summer. We're going in July, end of July. And they're all going, and it's going to be my nephews, two daughters, and my kids, like, they're all close because we made a priority to make sure that the cousins got to know each other. Like a family reunion. Yeah, and now it's the next generation of.

the kids. So I'm really excited about that. That's awesome. So that's my tough love, taking my kids to Canada. All right. You ready to do our fan questions? Go for it. Let's get into our fan questions for today. I'm going to go ahead and read the first one and it is from an anonymous. Hi ladies. I'm sorry this question is kind of tough, but I really need your advice. I'm a father to three children, 10, 14, and 16. And I think I regret having children. I am active in their lives, along with my wife slash their mom, and I do love them, but I really wish I could go back in time and not have kids. Wow.

I just don't feel like myself anymore, and my entire identity has become a parent. I don't feel like I connect with my children, and I just really feel down and stressed about it. Is there anything I can do to feel better? Can you ever grow out of this regret? Wow. You know what I think? We have no idea because it's anonymous, but I'm guessing, Susan, that this dad is reaching middle age. And it's about he's not regret. He lost his identity. We do as mothers. He's regretting the things maybe that he hasn't done in this life. And he's saying, you know, the kids kept me from, that's in his head what he's thinking. I'm guessing this is more about hitting middle. age and what he couldn't do and what he has, you know, how much time does he have left? And, you know, I hate to say this, but I had a lot of friends, not a lot of friends,

but some of my friends who went through divorces between 40 and 50 for exactly this reason. They felt like life was passing them by. They had, all they had done was go from changing diapers to driving the Little League to worrying about high school. And then, and so I think, I think that's more. I think it's anonymous. I feel sorry that you feel that way, I'd reach out and get some counseling. Yeah, yeah.

What do you think? You might need something, yes. And not only that, I feel like women feel this way, not when they're 10, 14, and 16, when they're born after the first year because we do lose our identity. We are a mom. We are responsible for these little human beings. They're ours. That's why people suffer in their marriage with their sex life and they're dating again,

It's about the kids. It's not about you anymore. Just to take a shower meant the world to me. I had twins with a three-year-old that was like, what about me? There was no time for me. And dad seems like he's hands on with these kids, but he's having regrets because he should be living right now. And you know what? You will grow out of this regret.

You will. You're going to be very proud of what you raised soon. You got another. the other few more years to go. I take issue with that, Susan. I don't feel like I ever lost my identity. I love being a mom. I love taking care of my kids.

I loved being a stay-at-home mom, and I was grateful that my husband, you know, we could manage it, that I could stay home. What was hardest for me was when my kids left home because then it was like my identity was taking care of my children, being a good mom, trying to be a good wife, all those things. But then when the kids left, that's when I struggled with identity because I spent so much time taking care of my kids. So I don't know.

I think that everybody goes through this, what Anonymous is going through at some level. For you, it was when you had your kids. For me, it was when my kids left home. But he's saying he doesn't feel like he connects with them. Well, that's something different. I mean, I would encourage him to maybe take up a sport with them, you know, ask them if they want to go hiking with you or, you know, ask them to invite a friend or two and do something with your kids. But, you know, the other thing is teenagers, they're supposed to be distant. They're supposed to be finding their way.

He's very active in their lives. So I don't know what part he's not connecting with and he loves them. Yeah. I think there's more of the story. I think you need some help. They really do. Yeah. Don't feel guilty that you feel that way. You're entitled to your feelings. But I will get some help and see what's really going on in your mind that's making you feel this way. It might be a depression thing that's happening. You know, you're feeling like you regret. But you love your children. Well, maybe he does. Maybe he doesn't. I mean, who knows. But I wonder if there's something, an issue with this wife. Maybe an issue between them. them or with the kids and their mom. I don't know, but there's something, when you say, when someone says they wish they could

go back in time and not have kids, what I'm hearing, and again, I'm not a therapist, but what I'm hearing is you don't like where your life is and you want to redo. The kids are sort of secondary. You can't regret it now. You've got three of them. Yeah. But, you know, you don't get a redo, so you have to learn how to make a good life with what you have.

I think going to talk to somebody, professional. professionally, might be able to guide you, just start making you feel better. But I appreciate that you reached out to us. Yeah, and we wish you the best. We hope things improve for you and get some help, you know, therapy. Men don't typically or traditionally like going to therapy. But you know what, Anonymous, in this case, I think it will help you and make you feel a whole lot better. So good luck.

And reach back out and let us know. And stay active in their lives because later you will. You will. Be proud. Yeah. I miss those days of going to the games and soccer. games and the baseball games. Okay, our second one. Having hot dogs for dinner. Hot dogs. No, hot dogs at the ballpark at the little. Yes, that was dinner because we had to go.

You had to get your homework done. That's right. Oh, do you remember that? In my case, my kids had practice their piano, get that done, get their homework done, clean their rooms. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcasts. You already know our get-down. If you grew up in our urban areas of comfort of struggle, you understand politics. It takes much more than you giving credit for. Fans taking over American cities. Government hop-out boys, hopping out the van, snatching up your theo in them. Two wars that was supposed to be solved in 24 hours.

Jerry just out here mandering all over the place. The turfs. And of course, the Epstein of it all. Well, this week, we decided to shoot our shot, and boy, did we pull up from the logo. To see if we could get somebody to come tap in with us. And the one and only Jamil Hill pulled up from the Spolitics podcast to keep it a whole. century. The American public is used to being entertained. We're a

consumption society. So what Trump figured out is entertain them and they'll never question you. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. The U.S. Open is here and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah

Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history. The predictions, will we see a first time winner and the pressure? Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open.

The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids? Or the young Canadian, Victoria Mbocco, making a name for her. herself. How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Good Game with Sarah Spain, an Iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue

sports and entertainment on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone, to Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this.

Do this. Pull that. Turn this. It's just... I can do my icecloth. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And on our new show, no such thing. We get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise, lack the expertise they need to. recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real, wait, what? Oh, that's the run right.

I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I never envision being with a woman. I'll just be honest. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by Basketball Legend,

Candice Parker, who stops by to discuss her candid new book, The Can Do Mindset, in which she shares why she waited two years into marriage to come out. Like when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming. Like it was never a princess. Like that never entered into my mind. But, you know, as I learned, sometimes life gives you things wrapped in a package that you didn't expect it. And that was just, you know, and honestly, it took me a long. time to be okay with myself. Make sure to listen to this week's episode of Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney,

the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more. And found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer.

Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house. unarmed. Pretty private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Okay, the second one is from Also Anonymous. writes,

Hi ladies, I'm a mom and I'm really struggling with some guilt I've been dealing with for years. When my daughter was in second grade, she begged me to come to her school play. I said I would. I even helped her practice her lines every night for two weeks.

But the day of the play, a work crisis came up and I told myself she'd understand. I figured, you know, she's just a kid. There'll be plenty of other plays. Turns out, I was the only parent who didn't show up. She told me afterward that she kept looking at the audience thinking I'd walk in late, and I didn't.

She didn't cry. She didn't even get mad. She just went quiet. And that silence, that quiet disappointment. It crushed me. She's a teenager now and she barely remembers it, but I do. Every time she invites me to something, I drop everything to be there. Not because she's keeping score, but because I still am.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but I feel like our relationship has never been the same. since. What do you suggest I do? Thanks so much, ladies. Wow. You've got to forgive yourself first of all. Yep. And I'm sure you've had conversations with her. Like she just said, now she doesn't even think about it, but she knew the disappointment. There's nothing you can do. I mean, you can't make that up. It's done. I'm thinking, again, there's more to this story than we're hearing. I think the child was, we're talking years ago, years ago. I bet the child really doesn't remember. And I think there, again, but why does she feel like the relationship? Because sometimes people, the symptoms of something else going on, guilt in a marriage, guilt for work, something, spreading herself

too thinly from work and family. So she's using that, that. as a marker, if you will, of something else that's going on in her life. Because realistically, Susan, we all miss things. We all screw up when our kids are young and don't do the right thing. And we're not sitting there 12 years later saying, you know, I mean, the silence that crushed me. She was a child. It's over. What else is going on in your life anonymous?

Again, you've got to get some therapy, get some counseling too, because there's something else going on. that's making you feel this way. Yeah, and forgive yourself, babe. You're there for everything. I mean, you're there now. Well, she said, I feel like our relationship has never been the same since. This child is a teenager anonymous. Teenagers don't, are a whole different species.

And what you're thinking of your relationship with a six-year-old is not your relationship with a 16-year-old. And I wonder, Kathy, if she had that heart to heart with her and saying how badly she does still feel about that, that she won't forget. I wouldn't put that on my child. I'm saying I wonder if she's had that conversation with her daughter, that she's so sorry that she missed it. How many years later are we talking, Susan?

It's still haunting her, though. This is real. And I feel bad. But you need to forgive yourself. You really do. Her daughter was in second grade. She was seven years old. Let it go.

Let it go. This is not about your daughter. She also needs the therapist. I just said. Maybe they get a group deal. The two of them go together. I mean, oftentimes, and I know this from personal experience, when you say something, even in my marriage, when I would fight with my husband about something, it was rarely the thing I was fighting about, you know, the thing I picked on. It was really something else that was bothering me. And I think that's what's going on here. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I wish you lock and on us. Let us know. Let us know. All right. Kelly. Ladies, I'm pissed and I need your help. Okay, so tell me why I got ghosted by a man after I helped him write his mom's birthday card. No, like I sat on his couch, thoughtfully helped him

come up with a heartfelt message, even suggested a quote from her favorite actress, which, by the way, made her cry. And then this man vanished into thin air like he was in the witness protection. He even asked me to take a picture of him holding the card to send to her. I was practically part of the family for two business days. And I know he got the card to her because she DMs me on Instagram to say thank you. I haven't opened it or answered. What am I supposed to do with that?

Am I supposed to message his mom and be like, hey girl, your son hates me now? we've been dating well we're dating for eight months it's been two weeks and i've got nothing from this man not a peep not a return call or text what do i do holy cow go find yourself a new man eight months and he ghost her i mean again you need the final conversation i'm sorry i feel her pain yes i'd tell his mom yeah of course you would i would i'm just saying if if he's first I would answer the mom. Don't be rude, Kelly. Answer the mom and say, what are you supposed to do with that?

You say, I'm so glad you liked the card. I find it interesting here that the mom DM me on Instagram to say thank you. So does that mean the mother knew that she wrote the card? Did the son tell her? She doesn't know if she said thank you because she didn't open it. No, she said. I know we got the carder because she DMed me on Instagram to say thank you. I haven't opened it or answered so she knows she knows she was saying thank you and my question is

if you know she was saying thank you she must know that you wrote the card which is bizarre that she was a part of it yeah yeah so you know I don't what you do you do with that you write her back always Kelly always stay above the fray stay above the fray walk away with grace say I'm so glad you like the card and move on. If a guy, if the guy ghost you, he's not that interested. He's not that into you. Eight months and he's just going to ghost her.

If that's what he did, do you, Susan, put yourself in the position of a guy, if you're dating a guy for eight months. I need closure. Are we done? You got it. He's ghosted you. No, that's not acceptable.

I'm sorry. That is not being a man. Just say, I'm not interested. It's over. I'm sorry. Okay. It stings. I don't need to hear that. If a guy goes me, see, my brain, I would think something happened to him. He's not answering. I would just say, but you know what? If something happened to him, mom would have called the girlfriend. She didn't open the message. Well, she, you're not going to. First and foremost, Kelly, open the message. Yeah, you know, he could be lying in a hospital room with contraction. But I'm just saying, I don't know, Susan. I guess I just feel like if a guy is

interested in me, he's going to let me know. And if he's not interested in me anymore, he's going to disappear. So you're seeing somebody for eight months, the better part of a year. And then all of a sudden, you don't get a response? Two weeks go by. You're going to be, I mean, I'm caught on the guy who's dating me for eight months. You can't move on. You don't, you need some closure. Is it over? Okay. Well, wait, well, let me just, okay, fair enough. I'm warming to the idea. But why wouldn't she text him and say, I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Well, obviously, she did it because he's not responding. No, no, no, no, no. This man vanished into thin air like he was in the witness protection. She says not a peep,

not a return call or text. He's not calling her. Right. She's reached out to him and he's not responding. Your brain, I know you, Kathy, you'd be calling the hospitals making sure it's okay. I'm just saying, I'm not sure if Kelly, here's what I would do, Kelly. Here's what I would do, Kelly. I would reach out to him. If you have reached out to him and he's not answering, move along, little puppy, move along, move along.

Because you know what? If that's his level of integrity, do you really want to be with the menu? No, of course not. And that makes sense. But my ass would be driving over to confront him face to face. You don't know me if you think I would do that. I'd be heartbroken. I would say it would.

I would be heartbroken, but I would never do it. Just leaving it empty. You don't even know why, what happened, nothing, no explanation. I think of less of a man. And I don't think his mother would be very proud of the way he'd be here. I'm not marrying his mother. And you just said he's less of a man. I don't want a date a guy who's not a genuine.

I understand that. But this is not after eight months, no. You owe me some respect. Kelly, good luck. I'd answer the mother and I wouldn't say your son hates me now. Don't say anything about your son or son. Oh, I would. I would definitely.

You would? I'm so happy that you liked it. He put a lot of thought into it. It's funny, though, I haven't heard from him in two weeks. I hope everything's okay. Plant the seed. Amen. Let me know, Kelly.

Yeah, we want to know, Kelly. And I feel sorry for you, by the way. I feel terribly sorry for you. All right. Let us know, Kelly. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcast. You already know our get-down. If you grew up in our urban areas of comfort of struggle,

you understand politics much more than you giving credit for. Fans taking over American cities. Government hop-out boys hopping out the van. snatching up your Theo and them, two wars that was supposed to be solved in 24 hours. Jerry just out here, mandering all over the place. The Turfs! And of course, the Epstein of it all.

Well, this week, we decided to shoot our shot, and boy, did we pull up from the logo, to see if we could get somebody to come tap in with us. And the one and only Jamil Hill pulled up from this politics podcast to keep it a whole century. The American public is used to being entertained. We're a consumption society.

So what Trump figured out is entertain them And they'll never question you Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts On the IHard Radio app, Apple podcast Or wherever you get your podcast The U.S. Open is here And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain I'm breaking down the players

From rising stars to legends chasing history The predictions will we see a first time winner And the pressure Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege you know Plus the stories and events off the court And of course the honey deuses the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event.

I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself? How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, Listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebene, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free.

I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people. people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty private isn't just a podcast.

It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I never envisioned being with a woman. I'll just be honest. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by basketball legend, Candice Parker, who stops by to discuss her candid new book, The Can Do Mindset, in which she shares why she waited two years into marriage to come out. Like, when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming.

Like, it was never a princess. Like, that never entered into my mind. But, you know, as I learned, sometimes life gives you things wrapped in the package that you did. expect it. And that was just, you know, and honestly, it took me a long time to be okay with myself. Make sure to listen to this week's episode of Spolitics on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes,

We're not the podcast for you But if you have unmedicated ADHD Oh my God, perfect And want to hear people with mental illness Psychobabble Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app

Search Emergency Intercom And listen now All right, we're going to do Another game Tough Love edition of Red Flag or Red Rose Okay it's a tough love. Why are we on tough love?

We're going to switch off reading the prompts. If we think it's necessary, tough love, we'll give a red rose. But if we think it's too far, we're giving it a red flag. Okay, wait, this sounds like a complicated game this time, but let's go. We'll see how it goes. If you think it's too harsh, feel free to give an alternative. Oh, I love this. All right, this is our...

Telling your friend who keeps talking about her situation ship. Maybe he's not texting you because he's just not that into you. Telling your friend who keeps talking about her situation ship. Meaning, meaning she's not hearing for the guy. And you say, well, Kathy, maybe he's not texting because he's just not that into you. That, to me, I'd give you a red rose for telling me that. Not, you know, if he's not into you, that is a red flag. It's necessary tough love, yeah.

That's a red rose, right? Right, that's what I say. Okay, go. All right. Telling your friend who's venting about her ex again, if you keep going back to him, you don't get to complain about him anymore. Oh, definitely a red rose. Definitely red rose.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. All righty. Refusing to attend someone's wedding because they're marrying someone talks to, someone toxic. That's no. That's absolutely a red flag.

Red rose or what? Red flag. That is a red flag if you've got somebody who won't attend a wedding. Not your decision. Okay, calling out your friend for being the toxic one in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a

long-term relationship. Of love, baby. That's a red rose. Oh, no. I think if she's freshly out of a long-term it depends who broke up with whom, I think. If you, if you, you know, don't hit a dog when they're down. No, I know.

But if you're a real friend, you're going to have to point it out. Not calling out your friend for being the toxic one in all her breakups when she's freshly out of a relationship. Because she's repeating her pattern. You're going to, Susan, I'm, my heart's broken because some guy just broke up and you're like, oh, well, Kathy, get over it. You're the toxin. That's going to hurt my feelings and make me feel worse. Yes, yes. But I won't know. But if you repeat the same pattern, I'm thinking of somebody in particular that repeats the same exact things and then afterwards regrets the way she looked, the way she acted and behaved. And I tried to tell her over and over and over again,

why do you do that? Well, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, for me, and you're a good friend, you would tell me, but I don't think you would tell me when I was crying and called you up. So I think it's about timing here. Yeah. All right. Telling someone that you're breaking up with them because you're tired of emotionally parenting them? That's a red rose.

You're being honest. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, the guy is a red flag. If you have to emotionally parent a guy, that's a red flag. All right. Oh, reminding a friend to pay you back if they haven't within 24 hours. That's a red flag.

By the way, Susan, you owe me five bucks. 24 hours, like if it were ridiculous. Two weeks or something and they haven't made an effort or payday came and went. I think it's a red flag if you're doing it within, yeah. Saying, I love you, but I can't listen to this story about your ex for the 30th time. I love that. It's a red rose? Red rose.

Absolutely. Leaving, you know why it's a red rose? Because you've listened to it for 30 times and you just don't need to hear it anymore. No one needs to hear it anymore. You can't listen anymore. Okay. Leaving the group chat because, oh, this is a good one. Leaving the group chat because no one ever responds to your messages.

It's a group chat. Well, like if I, if we were in a group chat with 70 people and I said, you know, where do you want to go on vacation? and no one answers me. I'd probably leave the group chat. Yeah, screw it. They're annoying, anyhow. Yeah. Okay, go ahead.

Cutting off a long-time friend because they never ask how you're doing. I mean, that says a lot about somebody if they're never asking you how you're doing. Yeah, I get that, but just cutting them off because they never ask how you're doing. Sometimes they don't have. to ask you, just tell.

I don't know about that one. I don't know about that one. I think I could go either way. Yeah. All right. Telling your child who's in college. Oh, this is a bouquet of red roses. Telling your child who's in college that they can't move back home without paying

rent that you actually used to pay for house bills, not money that you're saving for them. That is, I'm so impressed with anyone who does that. Not you? Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Because in today's world, it's going to take time to get a job. Oh, no.

I made the assumption they have a job. No, no, no. I made the assumption the kid has a job and it's just living at home because it's cheaper. We need free. That I guess. Oh, no. If a child... Give them a minute, you know, they graduate.

Okay, you can't come back until you're going to run. No, no, no. If I read this, let me clarify before, I get hate mail. I read this. I read this that the child had graduated college, had a job, was moving back home. I mean, I would probably give them two or three months to get a little money in the bank and kind of get their jobs. You got to take something, you know. I'm saying, after a couple of months, I would say, okay, look, I, you know, you're using the hot water and the electricity.

You got to help me here. For me, after they get out of college, then you're going to pay your own cell phone bill. Okay, I'm done. Yeah. Oh, God. You know, they make that hard because the more. My kids are 30-something before they paid their own car insurance. Well, the more phones, the more lines you have, the cheaper the phone bill becomes.

Well, nowadays, but not back then. Yeah, you're right. All right. Okay, refusing to help your sibling babysit because they were never able to watch your children. Oh, that's terrible. No, that's a red, I'm confused with the flag and the road. Yeah, I'm confused, but let's just talk about this. this, do you think it's ever okay to refuse to...

No, you should help. If you can and you're available, why not? Because they didn't do it for you, so I'm not going to do it for you. No, no, I'm not that way. Great, Susan. For me, if anything, I'll be like the martyr. Of course I come. And Susan, how do you feel like to come and take care of my cats?

I mean, I know you don't have cats, but, you know, it's the same thing. All right, telling your mom after a stressful conversation, that she needs therapy and you're not her therapist. I think that's cruel. That is cruel. It's her mother. Yeah. I would maybe suggest therapy if I thought it needed, but I'm not a therapist.

Like you always say, it's the delivery. Delivery. Leaving the family group chat after one more, why are you still single comment? Hell, I know I would only leave the family chat. I'd block them all. I'd stay in there and torture them. You tell me why. No, Susan would be sitting there going.

You're too picky, Susan. And then when you do find one, they got something to say about that too. I can't win with that. What did I tell you the other day? I'm saying it to, for all Bachelor Nation, what did I tell you? This is your life. It's time you live your life for you. You've raised your kids, live your life for you.

And Susan's like, oh, but I live your life for you. I want everybody to be happy. It's not possible. Everyone is not always going to be happy. It's the distance that they're struggling with. Okay. Okay, go ahead. I'm just still on the single comment.

Okay. When confronted by a friend as to why you guys don't hang out anymore, you say, we're not close because you were never emotionally available growing up. What? Who the hell says that? I mean, oh my God. I mean, if I'm, I'm suspicious on that one. We're not close because.

I mean, you've got friends from when you grew up. I don't, because you live where you grew up. I don't. And I choose not to hang out with some of them because they're more negative people. Yeah, I'm all about the positive energy. Yeah. I can't be surrounded. But would you, and so am I, but would you ever say to someone, no.

No. We're not close because, okay, Susan, when I call. call you tonight. I'm going to say, I don't want to be a friend anymore because you have not been emotionally available. But we are emotionally available. We hear each other's stories. We cry with each other. I mean, yeah, we feel each other's pain. Well, it's just pathetic. But you know what, Kathy, there are people out there that would say these things. To me, I look at them like they're cold. You know what I think? Some people are so self-involved, so egocentric, all they think about it's themselves what makes them happy they don't stop to think how will this make someone

feel you know how will this make susan feel if i say they just blurt it out and they don't and they don't care and i will say as i've gotten older i think when you're young we all say stuff we're much more aware we don't blur things out like we used to well i still blurt them out but well but i still and during the conversation i say what's going on in your life You know, it's not just my phone call about me. I mean, whoever you're talking to, you share. And you want to know what's going on. You're right.

Sometimes we both work things out, but we're either being funny or we're making jokes, but not seriously do I, when I ever call you up and say, what the hell is, you know, come on, no one does that. You weren't emotionally available for me. Therefore, we're not close anymore. You weren't emotionally available to me on that cruise we're going to take. So you're done. You're dead to me.

She better not get seasick. I'm going to buy 49 bracelets. Wait, can we just say we're going on a cruise together? To Greece? Well, we're going to go to Greece and Istanbul, Turkey. And you know what I'm doing? I'm loading up on sea bands, dramamine. I don't think on a big ship I'll get sick, right?

Please tell me no. No, if it's rough seas, sometimes you feel it a little bit, but no. Okay, so I'm going to ask you so everyone can know. Are you going to help me pack? What to bring? There we go. it's so hard you're going to have so many clothes by then just bring it all yeah just i like choices i love people that say i can go in a backpack for a week i go hell you wear the same thing she goes

well i wash it i go but the whole idea vacation is wearing your fun clothes all these people that buy these clothes that you know you wash them out and they're spf 50 i mean they look like they just hit out in the jungle for a month they don't wrinkle you can throw it in your back Oh, man. And they wash it. Can I just tell you what is poison to my ears? When someone goes on vacation and I asked that question, they go, oh, I just wash it out in the sink at night. I'm like, I just gags me. Like, I wash it. I've done it, though. If you can't get to a washer and something. Susan, first of all, you bring enough clothes. You bring enough clothes to dress the entire resort for a week. So I get over it. I'm just saying, like, can you imagine traveling with like that, those, you know, travel pants that everybody can, you know, and they're not cute. They're not even cute. I was going to say six people can fit into one pair.

Not me, it's all about fashion. You know, and then if you want, oh, I get to wear that dress. Wait, I'm going to, you know what I'm buying you for your birthday next year? Those pants that unzip at the knee, two for one, you get a pair of shorts. I have them in my golf pants. You don't. I have a pair hiking pants like that. Well, they are hiking pants.

When I go to Big Bend or, you know, hiking. It's cold in. the morning, you wear the long ones, and then I unzip them. Oh, my God. I want to see you. I want to see that. But anyway, this was, oh my God, it's always so fun. Is there anything else where you haven't chatted about today, then? I don't know. I'm

mending my arm. It's time to go to physical therapy now. And just doing the little exercises, have me sore. Oh, gosh, this is taken for, but you want to do them, Susan, seriously, because when I broke mine, he said to me, if you don't do the exercises, you'll never be the same. It'll be deformed. It will

never be the same. You will not have movement in your wrist and you don't want that. No, I don't. Well, I want to thank everybody for joining us today and listening. And what is your take on some of these questions? What red flag or red rose? I like roses. I know.

I like roses. I want lots of roses. Not one. A bouquet. But until I get the bouquet, be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new episodes coming out every week. We have more

episodes coming up with fan questions. We have more great guests coming up. We're going to hear about Susan's wrist until it is healed. We're going to hear about Susan's upcoming travels. You're going to hear about our cruise. It's all coming. It's all coming to you. Yes, we love sharing with you. Make sure to submit your questions to us and what happens afterwards. And you can go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour or you can DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Thanks for tuning in guys, we look forward to the next time. Yep. In the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour

on the Iheart radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Till next time, take care. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcast. You know I get down. You come from the urban areas. You understand politics more than you giving credit for. Between Jerry out here, Mandarin all over the place,

hop-out boys snatching up family members and two wars that was supposed to be done in 20, not to mention Epstein. We had to reach out to the homie Jamel Hill because she's going to keep it a century. In America, what sells in politics are narratives and storylines. It's like we treat politics like we treat sports, which is part of the reason why we're in the situation we're in right now. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the IHard Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime,

junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists. with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that.

Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No such thing on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing.

I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them,

you were elected to defend your constituents. And there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Joy Hardin-Bradford, host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. I know how overwhelming it can feel if flying.

makes you anxious. In session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Angela Nielbornet and I discuss flight anxiety. What is not a norm is to allow it to prevent you from doing the things that you want to do, the things that you were meant to do. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.