Bachelor Happy Hour - Becca & Michelle on Fantasy Suites

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

This week on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Becca and Michelle take the reins as they recap an emotional and intense Fantasy Suite week. From polarizing moments to heart-wrenching conversations, nothing is off-limits as Becca and Michelle share their thoughts on an episode that will surely have Bachelor Nation talking.  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier.

Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Complex problem solving. takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host to the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected

to defend your constituents. And there's life. After Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to another week. Happy Hour listeners. I'm one of your host, Beck & Coophrin. And I'm Michelle Young. And we are back with a very juicy, a very intense and emotional week to catch up on that just unfolded with these fantasy sweets.

Yes. We have so many thoughts on all that went down with Zach this week. And can't wait to hash out what just happened on our screens. So let's get right into it, Becca. Where do we begin? I feel like when the host says, like, first time in Bachelor history, is this the first? That everything that unfolded tonight or the last night? Well, what is he saying is a first? Like, That's when Jesse's like, this is the first. It's like, well, what's the first? Like a guy saying something and then not doing it because that's not a first. But I mean, I definitely think it's one of the more intense fantasy suite weeks that we've ever seen, especially probably within, I would say, recent years. The only other one that comes to mind that was an intense time this week was I think Colton's. week when he jumped the fence yeah i do remember that but for completely different reasons like

but i would say i see my mind goes to clayton's season but that was the episode after when he had to tell all of the women we're just kind of having that same situation a little bit just a little bit earlier so let's get into it and before we talk you know episode specifics. Let's talk about the whole just significance of fantasy suites. What do you remember about your mindset going into fantasy suites? Yeah. And I want to say, I hate how they keep saying it's sex week because like I think that people just have this connotation where it's like you're only going to go to bang these people. Like that's not the case. This is really the first alone time that the leads have with any of their contestants where it's not just sex. It's a chance to ask important

conversations to just get to know somebody on a much more deep, intimate level without necessarily having to be intimate. Like, it's really pivotal. And you do learn a lot about the other person that you're spending the night with. Yeah, I'm a lot. I'm like trying to think going back eons ago of when I was going into fantasy suites. You spoke about finances, didn't you? Oh, yeah. Well, I went in.

I asked certain questions that I think were really good. And then I did not ask certain questions, which I probably should have during this week. Which when I went, I will say when I went into Paradise, I was much more mindful of. But yeah, I remember one question I really wanted to ask. And this is something that another contestant on when I was on the Bachelor had brought up. And it was about finances and like, like, what kind of debt do you have? Because if you have it, like, I'd rather be well aware of that. Like, if we're going to be in this together and potentially, you know, had this proposal, like, what am I taking on as your partner?

Right. So, yeah, I, again, this was so long ago. But I was just ready to be alone. And, like, I wanted to see the little things. Like, how do we interact with each other when there's no one kind of narrating our topics of conversation or what we're doing for the day? Like, I really just wanted to see, like, the fluidity of, like, is it awkward? Can we carry on this conversation? Like, how do we feel with each other? Is it comfortable to the point where, like, we could take the next step? So that was my mindset. I'm just, like, seeing the level. And to be honest, I went into it. And I only had overnights with two guys. ended up sending one person home that week. But what was your mindset going into it?

Very similar. I was just really, really looking forward to the conversations that we didn't have to pause if someone was interrupting, if a producer was interrupting, or if a cameraman needed to switch over tape, or like, whatever it was, just the little nuances that are big nuances, honestly, that go on when you're filming a massive TV show. And so being able to just, like, sit there and hang out with somebody. And when you're with somebody for eight hours straight, when you're going on a one-on-one, when you're going on a group date, like you might be around that person. But like even when you're on a one-on-one, you have them all to yourself. You're really not physically with them the entire day. Like there's a lot of breaks. You get pulled away for interviews. They get pulled away for interviews. Like you have pauses where you're talking to producers. They're talking to producers. So it's really just like cut up quite a bit, your time together. And so I was looking forward to like nobody, nobody's going to interrupt. because like our conversations nobody's going to you know gear anything a different direction and so

I get to talk about what I want to talk about when I want to talk about it whether that's finances financial goals whether that's getting more in depth about families or views or whatever it is I just that's the biggest thing is the fact that I felt like I was able to just go back to being me or just no because that's me the whole time but you know what I mean like going back to the basics of let's pull ourselves off a TV show for a second. Yes. And really see, like, is this actually possible? It's so important.

And again, just to see that, like, comfort level of what you could have with somebody is so important. And just, like, let's be honest, every time you spend the night with somebody new, like, for the first time, like, emotions are high. You're a little bit more anxious. You don't know how it's going to go. You overthink things like, okay, do I brush my teeth in front of you? Do I spit my toothpaste out?

like little things like that that are, you know, like until you're alone with somebody, you don't know. And so I think it was just for me, like, and also I really wanted to take the pressure off. Like I didn't want to go into the week or the night with any expectations. Again, like I knew that there were certain things that I wanted to talk about and like stories for me that were super important that I wanted to share in that moment away from absolutely everybody else. but other than that I didn't want to set myself up for like I'm I'm going to say this or I have to do this or I have to not do that because I know myself and in the past every time I set myself up and like have this like level or standard it never goes that way or you know like I've always joked in the podcast of like if I definitely say no to something the opposite's going to happen like we sat with paradise I said I was not going to do paradise I did paradise so like I didn't want to go into overnights with that mindset um Um, which wasn't necessarily the case here. Um, which, yeah, it's, it's tough. It puts you in a weird headspace, which as we're trying to recap this episode, I want people to realize, like, we're trying to see all sides here. And remember what it was like to be a contestant in Fantasy Sweet Week or be a lead in Fantasy Sweet Week. But let's get into it because we see Zach, Ariely,

Gabby and Katie all head to Thailand. And right away, Zach sets the tone, sets this precedence with Jesse and has this very in-depth, intentional conversation. He really sets this up at the beginning of like, I'm going to be very intentional this week. I am not going to be intimate. I do not want to sleep with any of these women. I just want to be able to have alone time, have conversations with them. But like, sex is awful. the table. What did you think in that moment? Like, did you, did you take it well? Like, okay, you know, good for him. He's setting a bar here. Or were you like, okay, buddy, like, this doesn't always go as planned? I think with where I stood is just, it's Zach's season. So he can stand by

though like whatever choices he feels whatever focus he feels um and all those different things i also was just kind of looking at him and just how he's kind of carried himself throughout the season he's a very strong physical touch person let's just say that like he he's he's noted that himself and so he really made this like huge massive announcement that really got spoken about spoken about spoken about spoken about spoken about and i was curious to see okay is this something that he's going to be able to stick to because that's a large statement um and and that's great if you choose to focus or or handle it in that manner but you're also putting yourself in a situation to not live up to your word and that's what happened and that's where i struggled

or didn't struggle, but just I felt for the women going through this episode I and just kind of as everything started to unfold and going back to Ariel's fantasy suite because she was the first one they seemed to really connect and I'm curious if this would have

this whole statement would have gotten retracted even quicker if it would have been Katie or Gabby in the first fantasy suite. What are your thoughts? Well, I think that, and again, like, I don't really know Zach. We've only had him on the podcast a couple times. Like, all I can go off of is what I see when we interview him and what I see as a viewer. But to me, Zach has never been a guy that this has been such a high. highlighted thing. It's not like what we've seen in the past where we have had several people who

are virgins on the show or Bournegan versions on the show. And so I think for somebody to kind of remove themselves from like who they are, how they might typically act and like turn it a complete 180, I don't think will set you up for success. Like I think he went into it so adamant. And again, he is a very physical touch person. He is a very physical touch person. he said that himself on our podcast. It's, it's, I feel like you're changing yourself so much for this one week or what you stand by or how you've operated in the past that it might potentially lead to failure because you're trying to be an act in such a different way. And again, like, I don't know Zach's past. I can only assume in like what I'm seen as a critical

thinker here. But I think he was so adamant up front, which might not like this, this might not be how he usually operates. So I'm like, okay, like, I understand where you're coming from and, like, wanting to be very open and, like, have this even playing field with all the women. But if this is how you usually don't operate in your other relationships, it's, it might not be beneficial in this regard. And then after that, I just, I'm going to be completely honest, he just really lost me with how everything beyond that was handled. Because it'd be one thing is just say that that and you know go into your overnight to have that conversation and just like actually stand by what you say but i just got really lost after everything because again like i felt

for these women in very different ways um but yeah again like i don't even know where to begin with this this is a lot it's so much and i think like his date with ariel was fine his overnight was fine I think it was kind of what he expected and wanted out of it. So let's get into Gabby because Gabby's date is we see her very much so in her head, very much struggling with, as she said, like being chosen second or second best. And this is where I'm starting to see bits of Zach where I think he might, and again, I could be totally off base, but I think he might. he might like to be a protector and I do quotes like in a way or like a fixer and like you know

we've always seen an area like pretty confident pretty strong very mysterious like doesn't really need much help but with the other two women I think he needs to be there a little bit more as like that shoulder to cry on to like pick them up but we start to see him like take on a different role with both Gabby and then with Katie but I think he he probably feels most comfortable in that role as like trying to take care of somebody else. And so Gabby's really struggling again with confidence being second best, chosen second, even though in this situation, it's not up to Zach. He can't pick. Newsflash everyone. You can't pick what order your fantasy suite is in. It is just handed to you and it is what it is. So he's helping Gabby on this date and they have this moment

where he's there to support her and pick her up and kind of get her past this hump of this self-doubt. They go into the night portion. They have this overnight, which they both seem, and correct me if I'm wrong, but they both seem to be very happy at ease in that moment when they wake up the next day. They feel very connected. It seems like it went well, right? Yes, but I want to pause you there for a second because even before they get into this overnight date or Fantasy Suite. When Zach tells Gabby that he's not having sex with anybody, her reaction is very strong. She feels very strongly about this. And she seems to be very, just like, she's understood, like she comes across understanding. But we also get to see kind

of her process this. And she's understanding, but she says that she's also very disappointed that this decision was kind of just boldly made and that it wasn't something that they discussed within the relationship and she almost seemed like she was going to challenge it a little bit but like respectfully challenge it right I think with both women with first Ariel and then Gabby they were both very taken aback

and it wasn't what they expected right like I don't think they totally thought sex and intimacy would be taken off the table but yeah but I think it was like right before they closed the door, Gabby said something of like, well, he says we're not sleeping together, but we'll see something along those lines. She's like, the bed is so big for so many activities.

She just has these funny one-liners, as Gabby always does. Yeah, yeah. And so I think that's definitely foreshadowing and alluding to something that is to come. We don't know what switched over. night. We don't know what happened, nor do I want to. That is between them. But the part where I really felt for Gabby was they seemed great in that morning, in that moment, they seemed very connected. And then he leaves. And then he has this moment where in his interviews, he's like, I feel

guilty. And it kind of takes this like negative turn. And all I can think about is how Gabby is feeling watching this back now after they just shared this moment after her insecurities and she was very vocal and being very vulnerable about what her struggles in this process are and then to have to hear and see that has got to be so freaking tough like so tough and as the lead at what point you want to be honest and you want to be vulnerable and this is your journey this is your love journey and it's hard because typically you're up to discretion of sharing what you would like to share about your journey. But at what point, again, it was like this constant 180 of like 180 of decisions. It was this bold statement of I'm not taking part in any of these physical activities and then it, you find out that it flipped.

but then we find out then he needs to talk about it and so like now fantasy suites is not private and she kind of I would feel like I had whiplash too a little bit in her position just because it's like okay well what pieces are safe because you say one thing and then you did the other and I and I get that she part took in the activities as well but then at the same time you have that certain amount of trust you have what you said that you talked about very intimate private things as well and you would hope that somebody keeps those to themselves or want to protect you with it or at least asks you and has that convert like asks you about your thoughts on having that conversation before just boldly making a decision because at the end of the day

if you're approaching this as such a team then you need to play it as a team even when you're a lead which i'm so happy you said that because that is the main point where i got lost in this from is at some point, when does it stop becoming just your show and when does it become your teammate and you together? And I think in the conversation where he goes back and talks to Gabby after he feels guilty, he basically make, he starting out, he made the decision, I'm not going to sleep with anyone. But then he does. And then he goes to Gabby, makes the decision of, well, I have to let these other women know. And that's the part where I was like, Zach, I understand your mindset in wanting to be honest and you cannot lie and this is weighing on you but also it takes

two to tango and you're not even asking for Gabby's thoughts side of things for how she feels she would want you to handle this we did not see any of that which that is what caught me and that is to the point where I'm like again it is so one-sided where you're not making this decision about what you did with another woman and bringing it into another relationship that it might, yes, you are the lead, but it might not be solely your place. And it, and it becomes so public, like something so intimate becomes so public now. And it's, it's not that that conversation couldn't have maybe happened if you ended up with, you know, like if you end up with whatever person, like, I know a lot of people talk about what

has taken place in fantasy suites because it's like, you want to have all those different, different conversations to be just open about everything. But it was, yeah, it was him making the decision. And then at what point did you, did you ever think, like, what about Ariel? Because I know that we kind of start to get into this where he really comes into, I have to tell the women. Like, I have to let everybody know about what happened, what I did, like my misstep, how things have changed. and he talks to Gabby or he speaks to Gabby and then we can assume that he's going to speak to Katie

because he's about to see her on her fantasy suite but that I'm like, what about Ariel? Like, are we going to go tell the girl that we already had a fantasy suite with that like we said this bold thing and then we flip-flop because that's a respect thing too for me. It's like why are we respecting two women over here but like Ariel is a third party in this? She's a third party in this.

and whether regardless of whatever it is you made the energy you put the energy forward to put this out there in such a large way so i think you need to also address it to aerial and that's not something we see right and so i'm kind of thrown off by that i'm thrown off by everything if i'm being completely honest i don't understand i like i'm trying to i'm really trying to as a viewer and again like i'm trying to put myself back in the lead shoes to be like okay how if i was zach like how would i be feeling how would I handle this and like quite honestly like I don't know how I don't have an answer because we we would go into these weeks totally different right but but yeah I think if you're gonna if if in the in the like matter of being totally transparent and honest I mean you can't just pick and choose who and when you're going to be honest it's going to have to be across the board right which which wasn't the case here and so it's a struggle I think also to What is, what's hard with the Gabby conversation before he goes on his date with Katie is, and again, Gabby's going to watch us all back and it's just going to be a lot to take it because

she'll see his interview. She'll see his conversation again that he had with Gabby where he's now saying, I'm falling in love with you. And it's like, what did you think about this timing of that, by the way? I, well, I don't. I don't. think it was the right place or the right time. I don't. And that's just me and maybe Zach was Zach has his own thought process, but I don't think it was the right place or the right time, especially given this is

now this is turning into a bigger deal than it maybe ever needed to be because of this beginning proclamation. But now it's just, I think you're just adding on more and more potential hurt for not only Gabby or the whoever like the second person is at the end of this like right i think yeah i think he entered this week with the correct intentions of not wanting to put this weight of how like this thought of having intimacy with another person on whoever he ends up with i think that was his

prime or I hope that that that was his prime thought or hers first thought of I really just don't want to put those women through that so then let's hold off but I think once you say it like you got to be a man of your word so that means then you just don't sleep with anybody period truly like and I know that it's important but it's just like so is your word and then the way that it was it was out of respect for the women at the beginning and it like kind of tries to continue to do that, but like we're continuing to miss the ball. And then it's like the, you know, it's really easy to say, wait, no, I'm falling in love with you when you feel like a relationship is threatened and they're about to walk away.

Of course, you feel that intense fear. And then those are those moments where you like have less of a filter and you just want to say something. But it's like, I wish I would have seen more discipline with his actions and more discipline with his words because it seemed like he was basically. telling Gabby it's basically you and then he flips around and goes on the date with Katie and it's the same conversation in reverse I slept with this other person and like I want you to stick through this because I can really see you at the end of this I'm falling in love so it was just like everywhere

okay and let me ask you this and maybe it's and again everyone's answer here could be vastly different but do you think it holds more weight to okay say Zach never went into this week saying I'm not going to sleep with anyone or be intimate okay but what if you went into this week saying I'm not going to tell anyone I love them do you think it holds more weight to sleep with somebody or to say you're that you are falling in love or you love someone like what do you think ultimately would hurt Gabby in the end more or hurt the other women in the end more I think that it's such a personal preference. I think, I mean, both of them hold very strong weights.

I think for me, it's just like you have to picture that person being with somebody else. That's really hard. It's hard to hear someone say, I love you to somebody else as well, right? So they're both difficult. I don't know. I don't know if one's easier than the other. I just think that if I think it's all about sticking to your word with what you say. And that's what it goes back to.

So it's like if you say, they both would have raised. question they both would have broken my trust if you tell me you're not going to say i love you to anyone until the final then that you need to stick by that if you tell me that you're not going to sleep with anybody then you need to stick with that otherwise when you're speaking your actions your words aren't meeting up and so what can i trust you on period i think from my perspective and from living through the show as a contestant you know obviously like we both made it to fantasy suites with our respective leads. I was in the position where two women were told that the lead was falling in love with them. And to be honest, that was harder, I think,

to digest than what would happen in overnights. Because, again, this is me, but like physical intimacy is one thing, but like the deep feelings of love. Like, that is such a. big word and such a big statement a statement slash action that that is what was harder in the end did your lead though say i did your lead say i'm not going to say this until the end because like that's where i play into it is no really just you're putting yourself in a situation where like you it is very likely for you to fall in love with more than one person and that's it's, it's hard to navigate that. I think what's more difficult is like if you're going to establish boundaries that you're not going to stick to. Yeah. Yeah. No. And in that case, I mean, as far as I'm aware

that like that I love you, I'm not going to say I love you to anyone. He never did. But that's why I went into my season being like, I'm only going to reserve this for one final person at the end. And that was my boundary that I said that I knew I would be able to stick to. That's the thing. So. Again, like with Gabby, I don't think that was the time or the place to say that. And then now, let's fast forward to Katie's date. He tells her during the day. So basically their whole date is fixated on this conversation. And again, like, I don't know how in depth he needed to be.

But I could understand Katie's reaction and being like, I kind of assumed as an adult, certain things would happen, I don't need you to vocalize them and talk to me about them and tell me this now. And that just, you know, made me pull away in some sense. Yeah, I appreciated her saying I'm not happy right now. So I'm not going to put on a fake face. I'm not going to put on the smile. I appreciated her vocalizing that because I do think that there's times where it's like, okay, she actually said this herself. It's like, okay, you told me, do you want a cookie? Do you want a gold star? she said something she said something she's like what how do you want my reaction to be do you want me to pat you on the back it was like it was like we do honesty is a very very good thing but i think it's a huge reminder that when we hurt somebody and even though telling the truth isn't easy it's not this instant gratification of the other person being okay and for them to step out of it and that's just part of hurting people like when you hurt people in relationships regardless across the board not just zach is that a lot of times when we apologize We expect it to just be like this flip-over switch to they need to be back to normal.

We're all happy again. We're letting it go. And it's like, this girl needs a minute to process this because she's not going to just snap out of this right now. And she doesn't deserve to snap out of it right now. It's like it takes a minute to establish that back. Right. But she, what did you think about she, when they're hugging and it's raining? And it's always raining in these intense moments.

it's always raining. It knows. Mother nature has a way. Mother nature has like always shows up. Always, always answers to the assignment. But what did you think about him then telling Katie that she, he can see her at the end of this? He didn't say it's you at the end of this, but pretty much. I did not. Well, no, he said it to her and Gabby.

And that's where it's like, okay, you're at this point. I understand that's your thought process. Like, I'm hoping if you're getting. to the end and to a potential engagement with women like you could see a future with them but again not everything has to be said like you can feel certain things and you don't always have to vocalize them in every scenario and I think I think he's like kind of in this panic mode now after everything that's happened where he's afraid of losing Gabby he's he's telling her okay I'm falling in love with you I can see a future with you but on

the flip side. He's also afraid of losing Katie. So he tells her, I can see a future with you and I could really see this long term with you, which again, like, you can feel those things for both women, but maybe don't vocalize it given the situation. Right. Right. Because then it just comes off to viewers and us that you're just trying to like save something. And it's like, well, you didn't stick to your word. And now you're saying all of these. things at this moment and it's just I would have appreciated a little bit more, again, more discipline with holding back your words at that time. I think it would have been a little more respectful. Yeah. Well, because now fast forward, again, this is once later, now that this is airing,

but both women are going to be seeing that, but all three women, Ariel's going to be seeing this too. Like, I'm trying to think of like if I was Gabby watching this show back with my family or friends or if I was Katie watching this show back and seeing what Zach is saying, I would be, I feel like I'd be taking steps back and I'd be so confused of like, well, you told me this, but you also told the same woman, a different woman, this same sentiment. Like, you know, like, what is it that you want? Like, you can be falling for both of us and have these feelings, but just don't say the same damn thing to both of us. Like, there's got to be some differentiation here. All I hope to God that just, I hope to God, Ariel knows a situation. Like, I

I hope to God that she's not learning about this whole situation as we, as, you know, Bachelor nations watching it live to find out that, you know, it wasn't no sex week, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I really hope that conversation was had at some point with her so that she's also prepared and she's not getting kind of taken out with it. again, it is, doesn't, it's not intentional. It's just getting a little messy. Yes, very. How would you, okay, how do you, like, if you were in Katie's position and you have this day portion where, like, your person, your partner tells you what Zach had told Katie,

how would you have responded or handled it? Because there was a point where Katie basically said she didn't want to go and spend the overnight with him, you know, she was very confused. She shows up. How would you, how do you think you would have responded if you were hurt? I think that would have been pissed off, just as pissed off. I think I would have, I don't know. I think, I think when, it's hard when you're like in that position and you're close to to end, you really have put yourself through a lot of pain to get to this point. And you're like, okay, I could just walk away now or I can sit down and have.

another conversation about it and I think that's where I would have done what I've done is I would have sat down to have another conversation about it with whoever the like whoever the lead was especially because at that point like Katie's feelings are like if you are falling in love or maybe you're in love by now and you're not saying it or you have these just really strong feelings I would want to sit down and have another conversation but me showing up to the table does not mean that I'm stepping into that fantasy suite because if that conversation doesn't go how I or if I don't get what I need out of that conversation, like, Mm-hmm.

Bye. I feel like there was something that we missed between their day portion and the night portion, because it seems like Katie came back and was in better spirits and, like, they talked through it pretty quickly. It was a very quick adjustment. I don't know if that was just Katie really taking time to process. And some people process quicker than others and are able to just, like, refobey. And that's kind of what it seemed like she did. It seemed like she refocused and it seemed like they were back on the same page.

Of course, there's parts of me that I'm like, no, put up a little bit more of a fight. Like, you know what I mean? Make them work for it. But at the end of the day, they're on the same page. And that's what they want. You know, that's what we want for them too. And so it seemed like they're able to get past it, you know, all smiles forward or whatever. Whatever it was.

who wasn't on the same page was Gabby at the Rose ceremony. And I totally understand where she was also coming from, where she wasn't feeling great during the Rose ceremony. And she basically said that she feels like Zach cleared his conscience at the expense of her heart. How do you feel hearing that statement? That was so powerful. That was so powerful. But it's. it's such both sides are such a controversial statement to argue because I think okay so I think what Gabby meant by this is when she said when she said that phrase it was like she felt like he said all these things and then actually I'm going to retract what I'm saying I don't don't think there is an argument because when it goes when I'm actually like thinking about processing that episode and everything she's going off the body language too she's going off the body language where she feels like Zach's not looking at her she's talking about he cleared his conscious in the in the facts that he you know when you clear conscience you feel lighter you feel happy you're like no sweat

anymore but but but she's still hurting and it doesn't matter that she's still hurting because he's like who thank god I'm moving on with it so actually yeah that's that's that's kind of when you like sit down and think about what she personally meant and all the other thoughts that she expressed in her interviews of Zach's not looking at me he said all these things he made this decision without me

I could I got 100% feel like why she felt that way what about you not only that but if I was Gabby and there was the little bit I don't know if you caught this but when Zach was walking Ariel out where it's just Gabby and Katie talking and Katie basically is like I know it was you

you know like I know that you're the one Zach slept with, I feel like there's a moment where I would have felt very unprotected from my partner of like, okay, I know Zach was like being honest with you, but he also didn't need to name names and like bring your name into it. It was frustrating. It was frustrating to watch just because I know that you always want to, and like I said, Zach's not a bad person and this is a very intense situation to be in. It's just hard to, it's hard to see.

that and it's hard to see so many inconsiderate mistakes made after each other. I think that's what it comes down to. It just ended up being very inconsiderate step after step after step. Yes. And that's what's really frustrating to see because at one point it's not a mistake. It's just inconsiderate. Well, with that, those are our takes on Fantasy Suite Week. That was a lot. I mean, Zach wasn't lying when we had him on. He said it was juicy. And so, I mean, I don't know what's going to happen next week. We got our two ladies left. Yeah, one week left and we'll see who ends up with Zach in the end. Before that, though, Michelle, I know usually we have our guests on to do the resource and Rosen Thorn. But since it's just us this week, let's get into that. So, to all of our new listeners who maybe haven't heard this part before, every week we share important resources that we like to have on hand that are easily accessible for anyone to access on our Instagrams

where you can either go watch, read, listen, check out whatever resource we were recommending. This week, one of my resources, and it's kind of similar to one that you had shared a few weeks ago, or maybe like a month or two ago, no, Michelle, but it's a website called We Buy Black, and this is something that we've talked about supporting, black owned businesses before but this website is one that you can go to and it's all black owned businesses from i mean they have literally everything from apparel to books to electronics to home goods to like really you name it whatever um and so again it's just so good to go out and support black owned businesses um and again like when you're traveling especially too to check out black owned

restaurants or shops in whatever areas you're in so that is my resource for the week what about you Michelle. Amazing. I am going to, so this is a little bit of a different one. It's called, it's like just this new groundbreaking technology piece that came out. It's called like the virtual project. It's actually this really cool experience or I don't even know if I want to call it a social experiment, but an experience where you can put on a VR headset and you can experience going through what it is like to live day to day as a person of color. This is very similar to what my resource was last episode where I talked about this short film. This piece is more about like the experience of microaggressions now.

I'm going to be very clear to say that you don't just put on this VR headset and like understand everything, right? but it can be or it seems to be a very eye-opening experience that actually results in just different, you know, emotions that could potentially be experienced. And that's what I found really interesting about reading about it. As far as like where you can access it, there's different things where you can kind of watch videos of it taking place. Okay. And again, this is, this is remind you people who are like kind of like kind of. learning in these processes well it's really nice when you can take a VR headset on and off and that's what determines what you're what you're going through but for other people it's not this

like full this is not a full experience where you all of a sudden understand where it's just a snippet of what a person could potentially experience okay interesting yeah is it is it um like so say somebody does have their VR headset now is it something that they can like actually access or is it still in the works? Like, I know you can watch videos about it, but... So right now, it seems like it's very much in, like, a social experiment stage. Okay. It's, you know, I think it would be...

I think it's going to be handled with a little bit more care. It's not one of those things where it's like, here you go. Have fun. Go buy this app and experience microaggressions. Like, that's go really wrong. Right. But it's more of this VR technology that they're kind of working on and backing with science and just doing these different things.

things with it um as something kind of like you know you go to a museum and you learn about different things african-american museum holocaust museum you experience different emotions there it's kind of the same concept except through VR headset but with more like personalized experience yeah um but yeah it's not like on it's not like get yours here on the apple eye store so i can i can link the article and i can link the just the article has all the videos and a little bit about the social experiment that has been taking place and just people's reactions that have experienced it. Yeah, I'm very intrigued to follow that along. It would be interesting to see what settings it would be most beneficial in.

I mean, I would say a lot of them, but like for career paths, like education, definitely. So, okay, that's, yeah, just please share that. It was just, I found it really. interesting of just something that people, yeah, when you're able to, it might potentially allow you to step in someone else's shoes, is what it kind of sounds like. So we'll see. I'll keep, I'll keep up to date on it. Okay. And see what happens. All right. Well, thank you for that one. And then since again, we don't have a guest. You and I have to share our Rose and Thorn from this week's episode. Let's start with our Rose.

or I throw in first and then we'll end on a good note. We'll end with a rose. Okay. You want me to go first? You want to go first? Yes. No, you start, please. Okay.

My thorn would have to be just the, this whole week being labeled sex week. And really making it so intensely about something that it's really not. for a lot of people. So I would say that. My rose is watching the women continue to be honest with what they're feeling. And so with Gabby being vulnerable and continue to challenge herself to be open about her discomfort, Katie with not wanting to bounce back. And just Ariel, as she handled that situation when she was let go or sent home, just I think they all all the way.

women conducted themselves in a very nice manner so okay that's my rose all right i love that uh okay my thorn is going to be i think just overall seeing someone so adamant in something not stand by their word um and i'm just going to leave it at that that would probably be my thorn because i think it was the catalyst for many many other things that just spiraled for there so that's the beginning of it and then my you know what my rose is going to be them in Thailand because it is a place I've traveled to several times it is absolutely such a stunning country the culture the food everything and so to see that back on the screen and see parts of it highlighted again I think was just really fun for me and yeah I'm glad that they've been

able to go to some really cool cities and countries this year. So that is going to be my rose. And with that Michelle, thank you for joining me on Happy Hour. Once again, what a crazy season. What a crazy episode. Yeah, next week's the finale. So everyone, thanks for tuning

into Happy Hour, but make sure you tune in next week for Zach's journey coming to an end. After the final Rose will be on Monday, March 27th at 8.7 Central on ABC. And you can also stream at the next day on Hulu. And make sure to hit us up on social. You can follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram, and from there you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on

Twitter and TikTok. And Prime members, you can listen to Bachelor Happy Hour ad free on Amazon Music. Just download the Amazon Music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. But before you go, tell us all about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Thank you, everyone, and see you next week. Cheers My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly And now I'm seriously suspicious Wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit

Well Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast So we'll find out soon This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives.

We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.