Bachelor Happy Hour - Clayton Echard Gets Real — Part 1

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Today on “Happy Hour,” former Bachelor Clayton Echard sits down with Joe and Serena for an emotional tell-all. Clayton reveals the reality of living with the immense criticism and how the Internet’s commentary on his journey has affected him. We also discuss his personal growth, delve into his creativity, and hear how he combats the continuous negativity he experiences online. Plus, we get a glimpse into how Clayton might have done things differently on his season. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode — including part two dropping later this week!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime Podcasts and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by all-time great Hooper and basketball analyst Candace Parker, who gives insight into her candid new book, including why she waited two years into marriage to come out.

I never envisioned being with a woman. I'll just be honest. Like, when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming. Like, it was never a princess. Make sure you listen to this episode is politics on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, Psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you.

Listen to Shock Incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up.

Each episode will feature a special Bestie. And you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Bencher Happy Hour.

I'm Joe. And I'm Serena. And we are here today with our guest, Clayton Eckert. Is that all I say your last name, Eckert? Yeah. Yeah, you said it right. People don't get it right. Yeah, I could see that.

But I've heard it before. so I guess that's a little it's kind of like a cheat code anyways how are you I'm good it's good to uh when was do we do this like three years ago was probably the last time that we hopped on a podcast together yeah it's been a while I actually don't know if we've had you on since like after AFR with you and Susie together yeah we had my first interview with you Clayton was on clickbait like I want to say after Michelle season probably No, it was, it was before the Bachelor aired, but you had already filmed and you were probably not in the best headspace. Oh, gosh, no.

No, when I, well, I met you guys and then was in the hotel lobby, right? We all had drink. Yes, because we were at Michelle's finale, where they announced you as the Bachelor and then we all went out for drinks after, which was very fun. Yeah. I probably wasn't a joy to be around just because I was. really swimming upstream at that point, like really in a bad headspace and try to hold it together, but I'd feel like people could still feel my pain. Yeah, I feel like you were, you'd finish filming. There was definitely a level of excitement because obviously you'd just been announced.

It was like the start of everything. But I remember you were like, I'm reading everything. And we were like, Clayton, don't do it. And you're like, I have to do it. Yeah, I did. I don't do it as. much, but I did because I was a people pleaser. I still have a little bit of that in me still, but I was searching for answers of how I could please everybody. So that's what it was rooted in. I was like, I'm looking for criticism, but constructive criticism. And I want to see what people are saying and see if I can fix it. And I guess after about two and a half years that I realized I can't control that. Yeah. But also so normal. I mean, the internet's commentary on you can feel all

consuming when it's to that magnitude. I mean, you guys get it. It feels, you go from hardly anybody knowing you to like, it feels as if the world knows you, and everyone's talking about your business and you go out to eat and you get a picture taken and it finds its way online. And that happened with my dating life post show. I went on a date in Kentucky and next thing you know, I'm on the Jumbotron and then it's posted online and I mean, you guys get it.

It's like, it's just a lot to basically be like, okay now everything I'm doing is being analyzed and you know I want to be portrayed in a good light I don't think anybody's just like hey I want to destroy my reputation that's like my whole wasn't mine but felt like I was in jeopardy of doing so so I was like hyper sensitive to everything that was being said did you were you aware of any of that before going on the show did you realize how much of your privacy was going to be jeopardized by doing this show no I mean this is where you know some people could say that I mean it was ignorance uh it was based in ignorance a thousand percent um I knew about the show growing up I had exes that watched it my mom's her favorite

show um so I was very aware of like how the show you know it I was aware of if it's presence but I wasn't aware of like the ins and outs and I said to myself when I got brought on and then they made me the bachelor I was like I don't want to talk to anybody that's went on prior because I don't want to be influenced. In theory, that would, like, that sounded good. I was like, I want to just be myself. So I don't want to, like, talk to any prior bachelor or bachelor. I get that, too.

I get that. Because you want to, you want to be original, too. Yeah, I thought. Yeah. But I will say, though, that it was rooted in ignorance. And I thought that I had a really incorrect assumption that most of the people that went on reality television, I couldn't relate to. I thought, oh, you're different than most of these people.

And what I found is I'm not. I actually have a lot in common with most of the people that go on reality television. So, you know, but that was a place where I thought, again, my ego, I thought that I was a, I don't want to say above, I just thought I was so different. And I'm like, talking to these people isn't going to do anything good for me. And, you know, that was an ego, you know, thought process and that really came back to bite me. And it also, like, place, I placed myself in a place where, like, I felt like I couldn't relate to anybody.

It's like, well, that's because you're not willing to, like, talk to the people that can relate to you. So yeah, I basically said, I'll do this all on my own and I'll and I'll be able to like have, you know, be successful because I looked at the track record and I was like it's a low success rate. Most people don't make this work. So therefore I need to like go do my own thing. And, you know, that was stupid. At what point do you feel like that mentality shifted and you started to realize you were connecting with these people that you felt like you were so different from? And do you think it hindered you because you didn't think you would be capable of making the mistakes that had been made in the past? Yeah, I had an inflated ego.

I just wasn't willing to admit it or was aware of it. And so, I mean, I meant well, but I would say that I probably didn't open up until about like six or eight months ago. I had this mindset shift where I realized, I'm like, dude, you got to stop trying to fight this and basically separate yourself. self from this experience. For one, it's done a lot of really great things for you. It's made you live this really unique life, which is awesome. You know, like, I don't, um, I get to live a very fun and exciting life that brings a lot of unknowns. Um, so I was like, you know, hey, listen, like, this has changed your life for the better. I found my, my sense of self through it all. But then I started realizing, I'm like, you keep trying, you know, you're pushing away people that,

um, one, probably realize you're doing it and they're just giving you your distance. But also, too, It's like nobody else can understand what we've went through until they've lived it. And so I was like, you know, if you want to feel like you have a community, then you've got to stop running from that. And so I've been like more open now with like having conversations with people and realizing that I'm like, these people aren't your enemies, you know, they can be your friends. And there's a lot of great qualities in people that go on TV. I think, you know, you're a risk.

A lot of people that go on TV are risk takers. They're willing to step into unknown environments. and you know they're creative and they're you know they have they have an very open mind which those are the people that I like to associate with nowadays I'm like I it's it's I realize that there's a lot of that kind of type of person within the reality TV world I think you're like everything you're saying really I mean I can really relate to it as well and I think it happens to most people that go on the show and a either become the lead or or get big after the show And, like, for me, when I was like, oh, I want to be successful in this now, you look at it like, I have to separate myself from everyone else to show that I'm different.

Like, I'm, not that I'm bigger than the show, but I'm so much more than the show. I could do so much more outside of the bachelor world. And then you almost, it ends up hindering yourself because. We end up alienating, alienating yourself. Yeah, and it is. It's usually, like you said, it's all ego-driven. You're like, I'm bigger than this. Yeah, I mean, it's hard because also, too, I mean, there's a comparison culture that, I mean, I find myself always getting wrapped up into from one season to the next, you know, that it's hard because, you know, like you try to avoid it, but I get compared to every bachelor, you know, every, every season.

It's like, this guy's better than him, you know, he's, and so, you know, my sense of self for a while kept getting rocked, you know, especially like Joey, I mean, was, you know, I mean, the most beloved bachelor that I'm aware of in recent history. And so, you know, there was like this, I see online, we love Joey. He's so much better than Clayton. And, you know, like I started to even find myself being envious of him. Um, I had to basically check myself and say, it's not his fault that like he's, you know, got, you know, he's in the position that he's in. Um, and I, and I briefly interacted with him. And he seems like a nice guy. So, um, but it's, it's hard because like, yeah, you're in this environment where there's been, I guess, what, 29 other bachelors or 28. And

it's, it's, it's, it's like, you want to like just be able to be yourself and not focus on anything else. But, um, like once we're in it, you're, it's like you're, you're never let go from it. And it's like, it never ends. But again, there's a positive to that. It's like, you know, the opportunities. I think people were surprised I came back recently for AFR. Like, why would he come back on this experience after what, you know, the show did to him? And I think, for me, it's like, you know, there's a sense of accountability. I, you know, also played a part in the way that I was, you know, portrayed on TV. So I'm like, they also gave, there was a big blessing.

I mean, the things that have come from it. I'm like, you know, I don't hate this show. I, you know, I hated the producers at one point for sure. But then I realized I was like, Clayton, I mean, you know, they're not monsters. Like, they have to create an entertaining TV show. and also like you know you didn't have a body double you were in there doing all those things when did you come to that realization i think like six to eight months ago yeah i i don't just yeah that recently huh okay yeah i mean i yeah i for so long um went back and forth i mean when i first came

off tv people asked me you know how i felt about everything and i said oh you know it's there's more than you know the edits is there's more than just the edit you know that was my way of pushing blame on the producers. But I had a producer one day bring up to me. He said, hey, you know, you want to take credit for all the good things that were shown on the show. But the second that something goes south, you don't want to take credit for it. You know, some of these dates that you went on, like, did you plan those dates? And I was like, oh, no. And they're like, well, you take credit for those dates, but you don't take credit for the negative stuff. Like, how does that, is that fair? And I was like, no, that's true. Like, you know, so it was a great point. It applies to a lot of people

that have been on the show. Yeah, like people that, when they have a, you know, they look really great. They take this, you know, a woman or the girl takes a guy on this extravagant date and everyone's like, that's so sweet. It's like, yeah, but did you really plan all that out or were you just the one that showed up for the date, right? Like, you're getting all that credit.

And so there's a lot of people when they come off TV that want to take credit for all the good. But then they want to say, no, like the producers made me do that. And it's like, okay, but the producers may maybe also influenced you to do that, those good things too. So 100%. That's why I always, I've always. been a big advocate of not reading comments because I don't even want to read the good ones

because if I'm going to accept all the good things people are saying about me and how do I how do I brush off the bad? Like if I'm going to accept the good, then I need to accept the bad and I know how much like you could read a hundred great comments like Clayton's the best, Clayton's the best, but it's that one comment that's going to just drive you totally insane. Yeah. Yeah. I think I said at one point in my head, it was like one negative comment held the weight of 50 positive comments. I mean, I would see in my DM, somebody saying like, I think you're awesome and I wouldn't even read the message. But then I'd see like, you pieces, you know, like, you know what? And I'd click in on it because I was like, what are they saying? You know, so I would start skipping past

the positive comments. Because again, I was just looking for how can I get as a people please or how can I get everybody to like me? Why does this person hate me? And, you know, then I got to a place where I realized that people don't actually hate me. They hate what I remind them of. So a lot of times when I'd respond back to these people and say, hey, like, you're entitled to your opinion, but why did you feel the need to send me this? Like, why just, why send it in the first place? And I actually had a lot of people that would respond back and say, you know what?

You reminded me of an ex-boyfriend or somebody, you know, a guy from my high school and I'm just really projecting my own insecurities onto you or some variation of that comment. So then I realized, I was like, okay, people don't know me. There was a podcast I listened to and there was a really cool quote which shifted my narrative. They said, if you have a problem with me, call me and if you don't have my phone number, you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me. I think, yeah, when I heard that quote, that was like, that's when I was, I was really able to let go of a lot of like the opinions of strangers because I was like, that's such a good, that's a good point.

You know, if you don't have my phone number, you don't know me. So, you know, you can't judge me or you can, but like, really, you don't know what you're judging. You're judging, you know, a version of me, but that's not the complete version. So yeah, so it was, you know, a lot of like little things over time in these last two and a half years that I started to like incorporate or hear. And then it shifted my narrative slowly. So when the show reached out recently, it was like, yeah, we'd like for you to come out. It wasn't, I was, I was at a place where I was healed. And I'm like, hey, I don't have any anger or resentment towards you guys. I don't, you know, want to burn a bridge. And like, it's fun to go back and, you know,

sit there and be like oh wow I did this three years ago right like it's just it's it's something that is unique that like we've done and um you know it's it's fun to like go back in time and sometimes and just like relive those moments um just because it's like it'll be a point in my life where I don't get to yeah you talked about comparison well but not to cut you off but very impressed congratulations you really seem to have like you like beat it like mentally you are in a just a a way better place than when we first like when we hung out in paradise when we were there to film like you really I feel like you've really like yeah you figured it out I've just got to a good part I found self-love and self-confidence which again stemmed from all of the catalyst was the TV

show and the negative blowback so I think like it the version of me on The Bachelor wasn't the real version of me I would say it was like the fabricated version or the the facade that I built that I thought the, you know, the large majority of people would, you know, accept. And this goes back when I was in medical sales. You know, I was told by a coworker to essentially blend that, you know, if you stand out in the OR, you're not doing your job right. You should just blend in. And so that's kind of the approach that I took to life. I don't want to stand out. I just want to, you know, be present, make my money and go through life that way. But, you know, I have this creative side of me that's like, no, I want to express myself. And, you know, I don't want to, like,

confined myself to a box. I want to just be me. And so when everybody seemingly hated me, when I came off the show, I was like, well, I hate myself, too. I don't even like this version of me. So, you know, either build back up the same version that everyone doesn't like or build back up the real version of you. And so, yeah, I decided to build up the real version of me. And I was like, okay, what would I do if people, if I didn't care about other people's opinions and dancing was one of the things, getting earrings was one of the things.

You know, having a hairstyle was one of the things. I had a buzz cut for so long because it was again, it was like, that's what a typical white dude will have or like a short little head of hair. And I was like, no, I want to like have style. Like I, I like mullets. You know, I like having, you know, the earrings. I think they look cool. And so I just started doing all these things.

And then like it attracted the people that I wanted in my life. Like I connected with one of my good friends now because I was out of a bar and he had an earring. He had earrings in a mullet. And so like, we happen to have a lot in common. We started talking about mindfulness and mental health. And I was like, look, like it's now effortless. Like I don't have to try to wake up and be somebody.

I can just be me, which is so much. easier. So yeah, I mean, thank you for acknowledging that you see some growth. I certainly feel it. And that's, you know, why I want other people to like kind of see my progression and realize that like, no matter how far down like the valley you get, like there's a way out. You just have to like, you know, put in the effort day and day out. So I'm happy with where I'm at, but certainly there's more room for growth. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet.

So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I never envision being with a woman. I'll just be honest. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcast, Spolitics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by Basketball Legend, Candice Parker, who stops by to discuss her candid,

new book, The Can Do Mindset, in which she shares why she waited two years into marriage to come out. Like when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming. Like it was never a princess. Like that never entered into my mind. But, you know, as I learned, sometimes life gives you things wrapped in a package that you didn't expect it. And that was just, you know, and honestly, it took me a long time to be able. okay with myself. Make sure to listen to this week's episode of Spolitics on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency

Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And we're, we're not a podcast for you. And we're want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this.

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And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed.

Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up.

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when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder take center stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts we're sorry to cut you out no you're good i was gonna just bring it back to the panel for a second because you did mention the sense of comparison of like we love this person and

also we still hate clayton or like this person is so much better than Clayton. I mean like the messaging is so unfair. It is unfair and it is it's just like it's just like it's just mean. It's like why do we have to do that. But to segue from kind of that internet mentality that we see going on to this panel, do you feel how do you approach this panel without it feeling like I'm here to represent like, well, Grant's about to do something bad, but at least you didn't do what I did and kind of like almost put yourself in harm's way for a continuation of this like negative comparison that you're stuck in. What's your mental approach when you, you know, step into this panel?

And what do you want your like your goal to be with, you know, because I think I would be nervous about that if I was in your shoes. Yeah. That's a great question and that's certainly a perspective that, you know, I considered. I thought, hey, okay, they want to bring me on to essentially let people know that like it's possible to fall in love multiple people, but also in a way, like, remind everyone that I'm the guy that, you know, broke the record or whatever for most people that I fell in love with. So it's like reminding everybody that, oh, that this guy sucked, you know, and, you know, that was certainly like something that crossed my mind. But then, you know, I thought about it and I was like, no, dude, you did this and and that was real you know and you fell in love with each of the women for their their unique characteristics and you know again i'm mad i'm mad at myself that i um apologized after the show on certain things that i that i'm not not sorry for i was basically apologizing because um i wanted people all i was like oh everyone seems to be mad at me let me just apologize and at one point i was like oh no i didn't fall in love with all three of them i just fell in love with

one you know um and you know i was hurtful to the women that you know that i expressed feelings of love towards and I was like that's that's not true you did fall in love with all three of them so you know but again I was just saying whatever I could say to get people to like me so um you know when I as I was like going into AFR this last one I just I reminded myself that I was like Clayton you know you did at the time what you thought was best and and so you made decisions and stand by them I mean I don't regret any of the things that I did I would do them differently now three years later but in hindsight like I look back at that whole experience and I'm like, you know, you weren't a monster like half of people said you were. You didn't mean, you know, you did what you thought was best. So

ultimately give yourself grace and I'm not embarrassed by anything that I did. I think I was received poorly, but like, okay, so what? I mean, you know, I took the actions and I can live by them. So going on AFR, I was like, just be you. And they told me like, hey, you got like 20 seconds to respond. So don't start blabbering like you. You know, everyone knows. that I talked, you know, long-winded. So I was like, hey, I'll say my little 20 seconds and smile, and that'll be it. And that's what I did. Do you feel like at any point you were, like, losing sight of who you were as a person

due to your people-pleasing tendencies after the show? A thousand percent. You know, every day I woke up, I was just reading new comments and then taking them to heart and saying, okay, these people think I'm stupid. So how do I prove that I'm not stupid? I remember a point when before it was revealed that Susie and I were together. I was dropping like subtle clues on my Instagram. Like I would like make a post alluding to the fact that I may be with somebody.

Like there was a post where I was like staying at the edge of the bed and like Susie's leg was like you could see the outline of a leg potentially. It might be there, may not be. I also had another post where I was like looking back at the camera and I said looking back at my past, present and future. And I was, because people said I was stupid, I was like dropping clues and nobody was figuring it out. And I'm like, you're all so stupid that like I'm just toying with you all. But again, my ego is just like, you're not stupid because you're over here playing games with these people.

And again, like I was just like wasting time playing games when it was like this like, I mean, it was just like, what are you doing this for? You know, and it was trying to prove it to them or yourself? Both. Both. Both. But really myself. yeah um you know i yeah i i was trying to prove to myself that i had value um and and that i was actually inquisitive and smart and i had emotional intelligence um but you know the reality was is like i mean i had i don't think i had the emotional intelligence that i definitely i mean i definitely didn't have like what like i do today and i still have a long ways to go but i grew up in an environment where they're household of three boys you know no sisters um you know basically everything we did was

physical and never talked about emotions. You know, my dad was old school. And so it was like, yeah, a lot of these things I was trying to prove to people I had, but then I realized what I did and didn't possess, you know, and there was a lot of constructive criticism where people were like, hey, you know, he meant well, but ultimately, I don't think he's aware of the fact that like, we understand where he was coming from. He's, but ultimately, like, he keeps trying to explain why he did what he did as opposed to just take accountability. And, you know, that, that was a comment that was said multiple times that really hit me. I'm like, oh, so I'm trying to be right because the people pleas are oftentimes wants to be right. I feel like if I had, you know, I had so many times

to be wrong in front of someone's, you know, somebody's perspective before they basically canceled me out of their life. Like that's the way that I used to think. If I'm wrong enough times, this person, like, all right, strike three, you're out. So, you know, I always felt like I had to be right. Well, then like, as I started to progress mentally, I realized I'm like, no, it's not about being right. It's about understanding, you know, and taking accountability. Like, that's the next level of mental maturity that like you have to you know work be able to get to so um yeah it i it's just been like i think reading the comments was both destructive but also what i needed um because i needed people to hold me accountable and um and i wasn't holding myself accountable

i also think it plays a part and i think um grants a little similar to you in this area where you guys both you you you last it like midway through the show right like you you went home like what like six or seven eight eight so you know in that respect you don't you don't have as much experience on the show where i do think like the contestants that either get heartbroken it like at the very end like a joey who could then go on the bathroom and be like okay like let me like actually look at what happened to me this experience and now i could do it differently or at least like know how other people feel in this process where when you get when you get picked off at the middle and then you get thrown as the bachelor you oh i could see

you looking at it like can you even really can you really fall in love on the show like was i really in love with michel like i i just don't know if you even take it as seriously or just go in with like much less information to work with yeah yeah i agree with you guys I mean, I never fell in love with Michelle. So I kind of just was like, oh, yeah, this is what I thought reality television was. Like, you go on here, you know, I got knocked out in the top eight or whatever. And I was like, all right. So then when I became The Bachelor, I was like, well, you know, hopefully within these 30 women,

there's at least one person that I'll have interest in. But I remember thinking, like, I don't know, like I'm kind of picky. I have a certain type or I'm looking for something. And I mean, I'm single still, all 20 years of age. So like, obviously I haven't settled down for what reasons while I haven't found. exactly what I'm looking for. So yeah, I went in being like, maybe, you know, but there's a, I was, I was nervous night when I'm like, I don't know if I'll be interested in any of these girls.

Like, wait before I saw them. And then the second they started stepping out the lima, I was like, all right, I'm like, because you're like, I've been on one season and I didn't fall in love. So there's no like reassurance, like I know that I can fall in love in this environment. So I feel like you're going in with that mentality of like, we'll see if I could even fall in love, you probably go in like no guards up to an extent. You're like, I'll throw my heart out there, no problem. Like, what's the risk? Because you're coming off of a season where you were not necessarily heartbroken. And then it kind of, you know, we hit the other end of the scale

with you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I fought it until the last second because, you know, I had, I think I had five women or something that's like started expressing their feelings towards me. And then I was like, oh, I'm not opening up still. I knew in the back of my head, I, like, I was asked early on by a producer, like, could you see yourself fall in love with multiple people? I said, no. They said, why is that? I said, because that'll be an absolute mess if I get to that place.

I won't know how to navigate that. And then I did it. And it's like, you know, I, and I, you know, I've even mentioned that on AFR recently, but that was the truth. Like, I remember I was coming down in an elevator in Reykivik Iceland and I started hysterically laughing. And they're like, what are you laughing at? I wasn't on camera at this point.

And I said, I'm so effed. And they were like, why? I said, because I just realized I fell in love with multiple women. And they were like, get them into, you know, get them into a room, you know. They're like, interview this man. But I was laughing because I was like, I'm seriously so screwed. And, you know, typically humor is a way to like divert, you know, away from feeling like you're under, in a threat or, you know, like adversity is coming. And it's like, I was just like laughing.

But then I realized, I was like, I have to tell these women, you know, you do feel love towards each of them. and it's three people. So it was, yeah, it was like this weird feeling. And at that point, I mean, there was maybe like, I don't know, seven days left. So I was like, not only do like I just realize this, but now I have to go tell them all right away. And but I was excited. I was like, I get to tell people I love them. You know, so like in that moment, I was like so excited.

So I go tell them and it's met well and they're excited, you know, because a couple of them were like, hey, if you don't tell me soon, I'm going to close off. So I was like, yeah, I also like need like, I get that. Like you've told me, but I haven't told you. so naturally you're going to pull back. And I don't want that to happen. You know, I want to fully open up to you and vice versa. But I knew things were, again, like my head, like, was all over the place.

I remember I was on a date with one of them. And I remember looking at them and being like, I don't want this to end. You know, I wanted to like date all three of these women. And I was like, you can't do that. You know, it's like, that's how crazy my mind was like, I was like, I just want to keep doing it. You're like on the next season of Sister Wives. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. And now I'm seriously suspicious.

Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate.

Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I never envision being with a woman. I'll just be honest. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcast, Spolitics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by basketball legend, Candice Parker, who stops by to discuss her candid news. book, The Can Do Mindset, in which she shares why she waited two years into marriage to come out. Like when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince

charming. Like it was never a princess. Like that never entered into my mind. But, you know, as I learned, sometimes life gives you things wrapped in a package that you didn't expect it. And that was just, you know, and honestly, it took me a long time to be okay. with myself. Make sure to listen to this week's episode of Spolitics on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And we're

want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane.

Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane. with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this. Do this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do it my eyes close. I'm Manny. I'm Noah.

This is Devin. And on our new show, no such thing. We get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right.

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Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts wait how do you think so where you're at mentally today yeah how do you think you would handle the situation now if you were the bachelor and you would fell for multiple women you're near the end um well i would communicate times a thousand i think you know that's where and i think it's shared responsibility i do wish a couple of women would have been more you know

communicative i felt like they could have done more but on the same front i should have asked more questions you know i wasn't asking enough um so this time around you know if i were to do it a second time i would ask way more questions you know so that there aren't any surprises um would i hold myself back from like falling for multiple people no no i would do if i fell in love again with most people i would do it i mean it's it's if you give yourself permission you can do it and i don't think like the the the environment allows for it you know like the if you do it correctly in my opinion if you if you are you know play the bachelor role as it should be which i don't know is there right a wrong way to do it but i'm like if you're going to date multiple people then

you should be also willing to like stay open to all 30 of those people or however many so falling in love with multiple people if you're doing it correctly is just inevitable in my in my opinion but i mean again i could you could find a bachelor they're like no you find one person you zero in on them i just that's just not the way i'm hardwired i mean but i also am a monogamous person i don't never date multiple people at multiple you know in real life and don't plan on it but i would still find myself being like yeah this this show allows you where else can you go and i say this is the one thing where it hit like it tricked my brain where i was like this doesn't make any sense I was on a group date.

I kissed this girl. We keep talking, you know, her and I are off alone. Another girl comes in and is like, hey, can I steal you? She goes away. Her and I start talking about five or six minutes and I go in for the kiss. She stops me. She goes, hold on, wipes off my lips. You have lipstick on your lips.

And then goes in and kisses me. I'm like, I just remember my brain being like, okay, things just don't. This isn't real world. As in like, things opt differently here. Like that would never fly in the real world. But because, like, you're in this environment where you're given permission by the women. I don't know why that story has rattled me. Like, I was on the show.

But I'm like, whoa, it's just like such a, like, specific example of, yeah, exactly what you're saying, something that would never fly in the real world, but that could totally happen multiple times when you're the bachelor. So when you give yourself permission, and I was given permission by all the women, the producers, and the audience at the time didn't exist. It was, you know, just filming. So it's like I was given permission and I finally gave myself permission to be like, okay, I'm going to compartmentalize each of these relationships. When I'm with this person, I'm 100% with them. When I'm with this person, I'm 100% with them.

And then when I'm alone, that's when I have to take the time to like break down each of the relationships. But, you know, I still do this day. I'm like, I stand by that. I think like I did it the way that I think the show certainly wants it to be done. But I was like, hey, like this would not fly in the real world, but we're not in the real world. So I, this is the way that like this makes sense to me. And I want to, you know, give this a fair shot. And I don't want to leave anything on the table.

So, yeah, but that tripped my mind. It was there's, it was instances like that where I was just like, yeah, like Clayton, you can't take real world values and, and like situations and apply them to this environment. It does not fit. So. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that makes total sense. Because you basically like as you're going through it, you have to remind yourself that like this is okay. Like it's okay to fall in love with multiple.

women like it's okay to do things that feel abnormal but then the audience watches it back and they're like no actually it wasn't okay you fucking asshole like you shouldn't have done that and you're like wait but everybody said it was okay and then all the girls that were giving you validation are also jumping in on the on the audience train and they're like yeah Clayton you're an asshole like you are an asshole and then you're just like it's like it's a pile on you know and it's it's that's when it's hard because you're like, wait, like, you were okay with it, you know, then, but you're not okay with it now, you know, but then I was, again, there was so many experiences, like there was a women when I was had my women tell all. There was a girl that I was out on the boat with in San Diego

a week prior with friends. And hey, Clayton, oh my gosh, so great to see you hugs me. We're hanging out, we're talking. And then come women tell all. She's all at my throat. I mean, only on full attack. And then at the end of it, she comes up to me and was like, hey, so have you been? like, what was that? And she's like, oh, Clayton, it's just TV. Like, come on now. Like, you, like, don't take it too seriously. And I was like, no. You're like, easy for you to say when you're not going getting attacked publicly. I was like, you're killing on a boat. And then you're calling me an idiot, you know, later. Like, I just, but then again, now I understand that. And I think, again, I say all these things and someone might be like, see, Walt reality television

is not real. I'm like, no, that's not true. I also don't stand by that. I'm like, you know, there was times when I had to play a role, but 80% of the time I was, I was me, you know, or was uninfluenced or, like, just went in and was, you know, I'm like, okay, yeah, sure, like there's certain times where we have to maybe play up a narrative, but overall, I was like at the end, it was what you saw was real. So there's absolutely real elements to it. But, you know, again, like some people have motives. And they, I don't think that's a shock to anybody.

And so I had to realize that I'm like, oh, people are playing roles here. Not everybody, but some are. And so this becomes this whole psychological game of like, who's here for the right reasons, who's not. And I think that's what's enticing. I'm like, oh, it was kind of fun. until it wasn't it's it's also yeah it people experience it differently like I I went home night one and I remember going home being like yeah like it because of my ego because I was so

embarrassed to go home night one in my head I'm like well that shows like fake like it's all bullshit and then when I go back on and I make it all the way to the end I'm like oh this is actually this is real I have real feel so so I could see how a girl that goes home whatever week three on your show is like friends with you in the real world but like it's just TV we're just putting on a show because everyone people have different experiences okay I think that's a good place to stop the first half thank you everyone for listening to bachelor happy hour and make sure you stay tuned because we will have part two with Clayton coming up very soon thank you so much for listening bye my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm

Seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up.

Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamel Hill, hosted the sports and politics podcast, Spolitics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives.

We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom. And listen that. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez and in the new season of the Over Comfort podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

This is an IHeart podcast.