Bachelor Happy Hour - Dating Apps 101 — Part 1 | Golden Hour

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Today’s episode of “Golden Hour” is all about dating apps! You asked, and we delivered — we’re doing a two-part series to help you navigate online dating. We kick off the episode with some of Kathy and Susan’s dating app experiences and follow up with the question of the day: What are the biggest issues with dating apps today? Then, we hear from listeners who have found themselves in precarious situations on the apps. Plus, we start our workshop with the two biggest questions: What app should you be on and what pics should you use? Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents. and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics

on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD,

oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, Psychobabble Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app Search Emergency Intercom And listen now

Hi, it's Honey German And I'm back with season two of my podcast Grasias, come again We got you when it comes to the latest in music And entertainment With interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition I haven't audition in like over 25 years Oh wow That's a real G-talk right there Oh yeah We'll talk about all that's viral and trending with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And of course, the great Vibras you've come to expect.

Listen to the new season of Dresses Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you. Instead, check out Brown Ambition. Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice. with a heavy dose of I feel uses, like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA. Whether you're trying to invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace, I got you. Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks for joining us. are so excited to be back, coming back every week is such a joy. How are you doing today, Susan? I'm doing wonderful, still wishing I was in St. Martin and that nice warm sun. Let me just say to everyone out there, you're going to be hearing Susan saying this, oh, probably until we go back there next year, that she wishes she was back in St. I love it there. I love it there. So today, we will be answering more of our fan questions. So make sure you keep submitting those. We love reading.

them we love talking about them and we absolutely love when you get back to us and let us know what the outcome was just go to bachelor nation.com slash golden hour and just submit and we will get right to it so let me say one thing when you and i are out about people always say to us will you answer my question i want to write in but i'm afraid here we are telling you please send us your questions, your updates. You can DM us at Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Send away your questions. We love answering them. Today, though, we have a really exciting conversation. We're going to talk about all things dating apps. Wow. This is going to be good, people. Oh, dating apps. Where do we even begin, Susan? I don't even know. Generally, what's your thought on dating apps? Okay, first of all, I'd like

to open my own business to help people, especially men, take their selfies, their pictures. We're going to get to that. We are going to get to that. But in general, what do you think of dating apps? Do you think they're good? Do you think they're, what do you think? Well, I've had some luck, and then not so much. I think it's the way of the world in this era that we're in in 2025. That's what everybody does. It's more difficult to meet people organically. I think it was a good thing for a lot of people. I do weddings, as you know, and I've married so nine out of ten of them met on a dating app. So yes, I think they work. Okay. I think they can work. But I also think that people are trying to get back to organic meetings. So, you know, you're not just looking at a picture. But let's start

with our question of the day, because that's going to really get us into really what we want to talk about here. Well, wait, first, before we get into that, I have one more question. you have you ever seriously dated a guy you met on a dating app definitely for how long the longest one was three and a half years oh dear heavens that's a marriage three and a half no it's not a marriage well three and a half years you know it's a long time really yeah it was a long time somebody else I met on dating app was two years really okay so the question of the day is actually my question which is, what do you think are the biggest problems with dating apps right now? And I want to start it off by saying, I think there's so much more to dating than a swipe or a click.

And yet, we have been bludgeon to death about looks. So we see a picture on, nope, not him. I just think that's the problem with dating apps. There's so many choices. It comes down to, oh, does he look good? or does she look good, right? Well, it's about a picture, right? And if you didn't take a good picture, they're going to get swiped by.

I was talking about this earlier with someone, and it's so nice to meet somebody organically through a friend or whatever, not even set up on a date and just get to know somebody. They might not be as handsome as you want it, but you got to know their personality, and you could end up really falling for somebody like that. But when you're on a dating app, it's about eye candy. I mean, if somebody you pause on, then you go down to read about them. But Susan, dating, but here's the thing, you're only, if you're going to be with someone for a lifetime, they're going to change, right?

Their looks are going to change. Absolutely. And that's the struggle at my age when you're going through the pictures. You know, they don't look like they used to look. Either do I. I get it. Right. And so, but to your point, there's so much more to dating.

than just what the person looks like. Absolutely. But I'm going to say it straight up for me, even at my age of 29, I still have to be physically attracted to the person. So before what I would have said, oh, I want a date a guy who's 6'2. You know, now I date a guy who's 510. I mean, I'm 5'8, right? But it's about a look.

And if I'm not attracted to them physically, I'm going to strike. I have to want to kiss somebody, but who I find attractive, the next person might not. You know what I mean? That's just in the eye of the behold. But what I'm saying is if you, the biggest problem with the dating apps for me is there's so many of them. Although I did my research on this whole thing. I mean, we'll get into it. But according to some people that I interviewed who were in their 30s, they said, you know, everybody's on every day.

dating app so you know you don't have to go on three or four of them and in fact you know if you're on one you're looking at pretty much everything that's out there but again you're not getting down you're not scrolling down to find out who they're really about if they even say what they're really about you're just looking at a picture no I have two problems with the dating apps one there's so many fake profiles oh for And I could tell you who they are, just boom. There's a lot of foreign, they'll use the word am instead of I am. They'll say M going or M, I call them.

It's crazy. Well, the grammar is a big kickoff. The other one is the pictures you can tell that are like glued and pasted or whatever. But fake people are everywhere, right? So what's your other problem? But that's a problem, though. A lot of women fall for that attention and they want to get to know you right away. I mean, I can pretty much read through it.

Okay. And the other problem is they might be really nice guys and they don't have anybody to take their picture and they're doing a selfie in the bathroom. Like, that is the worst picture ever. Yeah, well, like I said, we're going to get into how to help people on dating apps. But again, how sad is that

that a guy who might be a fabulous guy made a stupid decision to take a picture of himself shirtless with a baseball cap on back, holding a beer in one hand and a dead fish in the other in the bathroom. No, they're not that way. I've never seen that. I'm saying.

I was grouping all the wrong things together in one sentence. But I think that it's just, and then you've got the distance thing. Like, do you just want to date someone, how far you're going to date? Well, you have the mileage. You could put your mileage in. I know, but you know what?

Do you want to drive, well, in your case, do you want to drive 50 miles for a date? You know, I don't. really want. I mean, do you want? I mean, they're not all in your hometown, baby. You got to give a little. I'm willing to give a little, but I'm saying dating apps don't make it easy because there's, you know what I wish they would do? I just had a brilliant idea. I just had a brilliant idea. What if you recorded a live, you know, video of yourself? They have those. They do? Absolutely. I've never seen it. Yes, they do. I choose not to.

I've never, I've never in all the deadenaps I've been on. Really? Mm-hmm. And you can view them and hear them talk and some of them are funny. Some of them are more serious. All right. Everybody tries, you know. Everyone tries.

But it is a good thing too because I don't know what the percentage would be, but like I said, so many people fall in love. My daughter got married from a dating app. And the people that were here last night. So did my son. You married them. interviewing for a wedding that they were here last night they met on tinder it's it's like amazing match i mean so many of them and then others can't find anybody my worst thing was going back on after a three year a break from them and the same people are in there i know but you know what they're

saying that about us yeah right i'm back all right before we get into dissecting the dating out which we are going to do. Let's answer some fan questions. All right. We're going to be given our advice as always. But first we want to read a dating app horror story that was written into us. Oh boy. That's going to get us started.

Okay. Kathy writes, just to be clear, it is not this Kathy. It is a Kathy that wrote in. It was my first time putting myself back out there and agreeing to an in-person date. We had been chatting through a dating app. a couple of weeks and I agreed to meet for dinner. I made arrangements for my son, then headed back into town for dinner. When I arrived, he was drunk and was not the person in the photos he used. He used his quote, better looking friends' photos. I was so upset. I sat down and told him not to

speak to me. I told him this, for inconveniencing me, I'd be ordering the most expensive meal and maybe eat half. I'd order a bottle of wine and only have a glass because I was driving. And I would be ordering dessert, but only have one bite. Then I would leave. The waitress gave me a high five and a hug when I walked out. Fifteen years later, I can laugh about it. What do you think? I think that, I think her, I give her great kudos. What do you think? I thought her sense of humor. Yeah, man.

Screw you. I don't think she sends a humor. I think she was furious. She'd had it. To say that, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. The guy was not going to stand for that. He's a drunk-ass loser.

Get up and leave. Well, that's funny. You say that. That's exactly what I would have done. I wouldn't have said what she said. I probably would have. I'd probably counsel them. Really, dude?

Really? really brought me all the way out here and this is how you show it's drunk he's not even you he's drunk yeah you can't talk to that you can't talk to a drunk rule that's awful never talk to a drunk which by the way I normally I'm very

polite and I would normally have sat down and had a drink and then said you know this isn't what but a drunk I would have said I'm not staying I'm out of here I wouldn't have sat down ordered dinner wine dessert I wouldn't have done it would you?

I wouldn't have entertained it. Absolutely not. No. I mean, I like her. I like your style, honey. I like your style. But I don't know why it took you 15 years to laugh about it. You should laugh on the way home.

I was laughing reading it. But, you know, I wonder if she's married now. I wonder. Kathy, are you married? Are you in a relationship? I mean, what's the day I'll tell us we want to know. And what app was it? So I don't go on it.

Oh, please. You know, that's the other thing. He's probably on every app. Oh, God. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. then against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find

out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamil, host of the Sports and Politics, podcast's politics. And on the latest episode of politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. And that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress.

And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you You get your podcast. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this.

Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this. Do this. Pull that. Turn this.

It's just, I can do it in my eyes closed. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devon. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real.

Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro, tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online,

landers because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse.

For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, this one's from C.C. And she's 38. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I wish I didn't have to be writing this. But here we are, and I need your advice. My parents have been married for 30 years, and my dad was recently out of town on a work trip. My friend who lives in the city where he was visiting for work sent me a very upsetting screenshot. Oh, God.

his profile on a dating app i'm certain it wasn't a catfish because the photos are only pictures he would have they aren't elsewhere online and he did the voice memos see kathy the voice memos prompt and it's his voice my question is what the f do i do do i confront my dad do i tell my mom advice is both needed and appreciate it. Thank you, ladies, love you both. What? I can tell you what I do. You don't tell your mother.

No. Susan, sometimes I think you and I are becoming each other because I honestly thought you were going to say, tell her mother and I was going to have to say, Susan. No. Suzanne. I'd talk to my father and let him know I know. I'd let him know so quickly.

Caught. Dad, you're caught. Really? really I would say the same thing I would do the same thing and you know what my advice would be tell your father tell them to make it right figure it out if he wants to get out of the marriage get out of the marriage but don't do what he's doing and then I would shut the F up and say nothing I would never tell my mother 30 years I don't know then would I though I mean it's the same thing would you tell your daughter I don't know the story it's your mother So wait a minute.

So the guy, her friend, the town that their dad went to, that's where he saw it and took a screenshot of it. Why does that man think that his profile is not going to show up everywhere in his hometown even? You know, why does he think it was safe to be there and do it? That's crazy. Aren't there some apps that you can just do in a particular? I think you can. You can set the parameters just for there. So his wife goes there.

Oh, but the like. likelihood of it coming up when he gets home. That phone knows exactly where you're at. No, no, no, no. I honestly think you're wrong. I wouldn't trust it. Well, I think there are apps where you can just set a location because I do. I really do. And you know what?

That is absolutely superfluous. Say that three times quickly to the conversation. The guy's a cheater and he's cheating and he does. He's trying to cheat anyhow. Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'm C.C. Talk to your dad. Let him know. That's a disgrace.

you're not proud of them, boy. Either get it down or tell mom. Let him tell mom. He's not going to tell mom. He's not telling mom. Obviously, he wants to cheat and fooling around and he needs to go. You think, wait, I'm sorry, we're going to back up for a minute, C.C. Just help me here while.

Just stay with me while I talk to Susan. Susan. He is not going to fess up to his wife. He's secretly on a dating app. Okay. But he wants to cheat, right? He wants to get a tent and he wants to meet somebody. So then make your, end your marriage.

You don't get to do that and stay married. I'm sorry. Cheating sometimes is an exit strategy. Not that I approve. Just a ooh. That's a ooh. Okay, C.C. Talk to your dad.

Give him hell. Tell him to grow up and either, you know, get off the dating apps or be that unhappy. They need to get into counseling or they need to, you know, you know, do the big D, but don't let him do that. That's embarrassing to him. And don't tell mom. And don't tell mom. All right, we wish you luck. Let us know, C.C., what happens. Okay, anonymous writes, hi ladies. I have a bit of a crazy question. First of all, anonymous, there are no crazy questions. Okay. And I'm wondering what you think. I met this guy on Hinge, and he seems really great. He's been super nice, and we've been talking every day for the past two weeks.

This week has all been via text, so we finally got off the app. Over FaceTime this week, he said he wanted to fly me out to Hawaii next week. All expenses paid. I was so excited until I told my friends, and they freaked out. They're worried that he's creepy and that I shouldn't fly across the country to see him after only talking to him online. I think he seems fun, but I've only known him for two weeks. What do you think I should do? Is there any way I can go?

Like if I ask him some questions, I really want a free trip, honestly, L.O.L. Thanks, ladies. Okay, this is so easy because, Susan, I've been in this situation, haven't I? There you have. Yes, I am. First of all, you got to FaceTime and make sure that the person is who you think he is. Exactly. Well, she said over FaceTime this week. Okay. But were you FaceTiming or was it just FaceTime chat? There's a difference. So have you seen a person? Right. Have you seen them? I would, I would, if I were you anonymous, get his cell number, pay for verify, whatever it has been verified, verify him, do a background check on him. It's worth the whatever you pay, especially if you're getting a free trip to Hawaii, don't just hop on a plane and go to Hawaii for a guy you don't know who he is. I would also want to know the arrangements as to would she have her own hotel room? Oh, I just assume that. her to go to his home. I mean, what accommodations are going to be for me?

Well, that is a no-brainer. I would assume that he's going to. Well, no, you can't assume. There is an ass in the word assume. Okay. Okay. All right. But then again, like if you're both feeling something and you want to go, go.

Let people know where you're going to be, phone numbers, and so on. Okay. But on the other hand, you know, if something. happens like that long ago remember that girl that disappeared in a ruba i think i mean what good does it do if somebody knows where you are if they can't get to you it's a chance you take but do you take that chance after knowing someone two weeks would you it depends on who it was i guess or how i felt well i'll tell you this and is it first class i mean oh god says that you know you know what i you know here's what I didn't hear in this.

She said he's super nice. She goes, I really want a free trip. Is that really why you want? I'm not hearing that you're into this guy. So the free trip, you're not going to be able to do your own thing anyhow. You're going to be with this person. You're going to be with him. You know, that's just silly.

But if you're really interested in him. But are you hearing that? I'm not seeing that in this question. Well, she's worried about her friends freaking out. well and she should be all expenses paid he wanted to fly me out i was so excited here's what i told my friends they freak that they worry that he's creepy and i shouldn't fly across the country here's what i say anonymous you do want to get to know somebody so what questions are she going to ask him that's going to make her feel better i don't

know what does he do for a living or does he have siblings about his parents why is he living in hawai where's he from get a lot more conversation going chit chat for a month and then see after a month see if he's still there see if he still wants to chat with you yeah you might wait a little longer i would wait longer anonymous i really i wouldn't do anything with a guy um after two weeks even if you said to me i'm in love i think he's great i didn't expect this to happen i would say if you haven't met him you don't know you just know what he's like on text you really don't i mean in today's world it is kind of scary but it It's exciting at the same time and just keep talking to him.

So, yeah, I might let you do that. Let's give it a little bit and keep talking. Yeah, let's give it some more time. And you know what, Anonymous? If he pressures you to go, he's not a good guy. Right? That's a red flag. You agree or not?

Yes, absolutely. He shouldn't pressure her. He should give her as much time as she needs. All right. The officer should still be there. That's right. Let us know if you went or if you're playing or go. anonymous do not go now listen to kathy i'm beating your mother do not go now but if she decides to do it

i want to know well we want to know if you do it a couple of months from now we want to hear that now it's a couple of months before it was a month she's changing her to people i'm paying attention here you know what safety has no limits isn't safety has no limit true but a similar situation happened with you and you were thinking about going. I was thinking about it. What you weren't wanting like the connection. I don't think you felt too much of a connection. And you were scared. You were scared. So you know what? I listen. That's anything anonymous. Listen to your intuition. If you don't have any listen to your friend's intuition. But we wish you luck. Be careful. Let us know. All right. So today, Susan, guess what? I've great

news for you. We're not doing a game. We're not doing a game. How'd you know? We're not, but we're doing something that you and I have discussed so much. We're going to do a dating app workshop. We should go into business. I'm dead

serious. You and I, no, listen Bachelor Nation, we have talked so much about what is wrong, how we would change dating apps, what's wrong with them. We have tips, we have tricks, we have stories. We're going to share all this so you can find that special someone else.

Although we didn't find it for us yet. Well, but you know what? That's the point. If you're doing it the right way, then you're looking for the right one, not someone. We're not looking for, what is it? We're not looking for today's man. We're looking for, you know, our final, whatever it is. There's an expression.

I've never heard that one. What? What the hell you're talking about to tell you're talking about to tell you. We're not looking for a guy. We're looking for the guy. Okay, that one works a little better. I just want to find my person, damn it. The person that just... Don't fly to Hawaii after two weeks.

That's my best advice for you. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes,

My boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his boyfriend? professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jemell Hill, host to the Sports and Politics and Politics. And on the latest episode of politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party.

What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. And that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents, and there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

you get your podcast. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, I'm sorry, pull this, pull that, turn this. It's just... I can do it my eyes close. I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, no such thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these.

Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to No Such Thing on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro? Tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now.

When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand.

It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, here we go. Let's go. We're going to go step by step. Susan just wants to be in same month.

Okay. We're going to go step by step. We are seriously going to break down our do's and don'ts from making your profile and using. the apps. Okay, let's start with step one, which is choosing an app, okay? So the big three are, for younger people, I would add match for us, but younger people don't typically use match. But the big three are hinge, bumble, and Tinder. Now, for me, and I'm serious, I talk to some people about this. Tinder used to be a hookup. It was like, you want sex, get on Tinder. You're aging yourself. I'm saying, it's just, it's just. I'm saying.

used to me. That's past tense. Do I just say it in French? That is past tense. Bumble is the one where the women swipe and hinges theoretically, so they say, the one where they try to build connection, where they try to build connection, which is just some great marketing ploy. But I think that theoretically, this is just my opinion, I'm curious what you think. Bumble, you know, women have to initiate, right? So they swipe. Okay. So the woman swipes, but the guy has to swipe. And some of the 30-year-olds I talk to, I just, I have to read it because I was just blown away by what they were saying to me. Women, this is not me. This is what these girls that I chatted with were telling me. Women, and they're in their 30s, women have to make them first move on Bumble. on Bumble. And she said, they said, it was like a group of girls, guys think, oh, she's really into me. And men love the chase, they said. So it becomes less desirable on Bumble because there's no chase because the woman already swiped, hey, I'm interested in you. And so I said, so what do you do? And some of them said, well, you know, you have 24 hours to reach out. I'm strictly talking about Bumble right now.

I know you are. And so they said they wait. They wait for the last hour. Like, don't get your. You know, don't get so excited here. Like, as a last minute thing, oh, yeah, I'll reach out to you. Which I thought was really interesting that men's, in their opinion. This is a woman's opinion. You talk to women, right? Yeah, well, a group of women, yes. Okay.

And then I. They're all women. All women. Because women swipe on Bumble. Okay. And then Tinder, they were saying, you know, that was a low stakes app. It was a hookup. So, you know, the general psychologist, this is a quote.

The general psychology of men, they like the chase. And men are attracted to women they can't have. And my mouth was dropping when they were saying that. Well, that's been said for a hundred years. I know, but we're talking about apps and how it works on the apps, right? So on Tinder, they were saying men had to work harder to get their attention. where Bumble, you know, they swiped, but then they had to wait for the men.

And, of course, you know, younger people are not on match. And then they talked a little bit about some of the invitation only like the league and Raya. And they were saying, you know, those men they don't like because that's by invitation only those websites. And they were saying, yeah, those guys sink their step above. So, but we're not going there. And there's the harmony. There's so many. There's so many.

There's so many. There's so many. First of all, I think you need to decide if you want to pay or get a free one. Now there's, even on Tinder and all of these, to get to see who liked you, you have to pay. Well, you don't. So remember, it's a business, right? Yeah, absolutely. I'd like to have one.

Really? To get the high-end stuff you have to pay. but I've been on the apps where you don't have to pay like Tinder and some of them and you know I get enough guys bagel and all those and I get enough people reaching out but I do find the same guys on there what are your favorite apps Susan?

I don't have a favorite but I hate them all but they do you hate them handy they come in handy I just hate choosing by a picture I really do I feel like I don't give somebody the benefit of the doubt that he might not take a great picture and he might be a great guy. All right. Well, let's, okay.

So let's start at the beginning here. When you first go on a dating app, you've got to build a profile, right? So first you've got to choose your app. I would say to you choose. No matter what app you choose, it's about the profile. I know, but I'm saying, do I think people should go on three or four apps? No. I think pick one or two.

and work with that because it does become like a full-time job. So, you know, pick one or two apps. That's my first advice. All right, then you've got to build a profile. And here's where we get into it. Oh, boy. Okay. Pictures.

Tell me the pictures, not the pictures, but the kinds of pictures you should choose. You would definitely do a couple headshots, maybe doing an activity and definitely, most definitely, a full. body shot. Maybe that is playing golf or whatever activity you chose or walking, you're playing with your dog or whatever. But they want to see who you are. Yeah. I think a good start to build a profile is five or six pictures. One is a close-up headshot. It goes about saying, but I'm going to say it, please, dear God, do not use old pictures. The pictures you perhaps should be no more than a year old, no more than a year old. But put up. pictures of you if you like to weight lift you like to kayak you like to ski doing something put up

pictures of things you like to do because that's you know that's what's going to attract someone oh this guy is not a couch potato don't put a picture of you in a group even three people you don't know which one you are that's exactly i've ran into that a lot like who is it what i don't even know who you are exactly and that's their only picture yeah so pictures are important and you want what you feel is your best shot. Yep. Do not take selfies in a bathroom. Wait, can you stop, wait, stop, Susan. Would you repeat that, please?

Do not, I repeat. Take a selfie in the bathroom. Tacky. Ever. And for God's sakes, men, keep your shirt on. Put your clothes on. Keep your clothes on. Do not hold up beers. I live in Texas where, I don't know, tell me, guys think it's

really cool to take off their shirts, hold up a can of beer, or a dead fish, or both. No, how about the big fish? But what that tells me is that's what they like to do. They're proud of that because they caught this big fish. To me, it's not something I don't like fishing. So, yeah. Whatever. I mean.

I would pass that one. Yeah. But so you want to entice somebody. You want somebody to take a closer look and look at all your pictures. So do something sweet, and like I said, show all of you and try to incorporate in your pictures, your personality. Right. Which, you know, can be difficult. I think sometimes it's good to have a black and white photo. Show that, you know, you're a little creative. Don't have all the pictures. Maybe angle some of the photos. You know, put a caption up. Do some highlighting. If you don't want to do it, ask one of your kids or a friend to help you. make the picture look interesting because when you're too sexy because they'll get the wrong

impression so i can't believe you just said that i want to tell you about a friend of mine who is single she is 52 years old she is a body i would kill for she's very pretty and exactly that she said to me kathy would you look at my profile i said sure she goes because i'm i'm attracting the wrong kinds of guys i said sure i look at her profile susan I almost died. This woman is a school teacher. She's lovely. She's lots of fun.

But, I mean, her pictures made her look like she was looking for a hookup. And I said, I'm going to change her name. I'm going to call her Sally. Sally said, I said, Sally, what are you doing? Look at this picture. She goes, what? And I said, what? You look like you're inviting the wrong kind of guy.

And she goes, I never thought about it that way. I said, we'll start thinking about it that way. And so she took down all her pictures and we redid them. Because guys, when you're creating a profile, you know who you are. Susan knows who I am. I know who Susan is. But people looking at us on the internet don't know. And all they have to go by initially are those photos. So you want to make yourself look as attractive? Sometimes I think women need that attention. They want that attention. So they do put these sexy pictures up. Well, then don't be surprised. If you're looking for that, then fine. But if you're serious and you want to find a good guy. Yeah. You know, if you're showing with a, I'm making it up,

but if you're putting yourself out there as a woman in a wet t-shirt, you know, and I'm just saying that's what you're going to attract. Guys, if you put yourself out there looking like you're a bumpkin, you're going to attract female bumpkinettes, whatever. You attract what you put out there. Am I wrong? No, no, no, no, not at all. And that's just the picture part. That's just the pictures, folks.

So spend the time cultivating a good five or six pictures. Also, yes, good point, Kathy. Don't put just one picture. Oh, never. People need to see because I've seen so many that, oh, Oh, and then I'm going through. And by the time you get to the fourth picture, he's 40 years older. Why are you putting yourself up there at 20 when you're 40 or 40 and 60?

It's always, let me just also say it's a dead giveaway when they've taken a photo of a photo of them when they were 20. The picture's sort of frayed crinkled like, you're not fooling anybody. Take those pictures down. This is what I used to look like. Because now I look like this. I want to say, yeah, and I used to be at 5-10 in a model. I'm not anymore. Well, Kathy, I think we spent all our time.

I think this is going to have to have a part two. What do you think? I think we have lots more to say. Absolutely. So stay tuned. We will have a part two coming soon. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking. for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics.

On this week's episode, I'm joined by all-time great Hooper and basketball analyst Candace Parker, who gives insight into her candid new book, including why she waited two years into marriage to come out. I never envisioned being with a woman. I'll just be honest. Like, when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming. Like, it was never a princess. Make sure you listen to this episode of Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you. Instead, check out Brown Ambition. Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice with a heavy dose of I feel uses. Like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA.

Whether you're trying to invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace, I got you. Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.