Bachelor Happy Hour - Emotional Intelligence Is Key, with Sam N. | Golden Hour

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

Today on “Golden Hour,” Sam N. from Jenn’s season of “The Golden Bachelorette” is here! We kick off our episode getting into our question of the day: How do you know if you’ve been asked on a real date rather than a hangout? Next, we get into Sam N.’s updates on dating, post-show life, and whether he would say yes to a ticket to “Paradise”! Then, we get into some of your questions! Sam weighs in on tackling conflicts with your significant other’s bestie and trying to get your boyfriend to open up more. You won’t wanna miss this episode, so tune in now! Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime Podcasts and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see?

It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Smokey the Bears. Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful.

It's the least that you can do. After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all. Learn more at smoky bear.com. And remember, only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester and the ad council. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks for joining us. We are so excited to be here today.

Of course we are. Hey, everybody. I don't even want to say it again, Kathy. I hope you've hit the follow button. I'm tired of telling you people, you've got to hit the follow button to pay attention to what's going on. Here's what I think, Susan,

we have a fabulous guest today that we're going to get to in a second. I know, I'm excited. But I think we should cancel him and we should explain to everyone how to find the podcast. Just hit the follow button because when you do,

you will be notified every time there is a new podcast out and you can leave us a review. You can ask us questions. And you can check out our past episodes because I'm sure you've missed a few, right? Why would they, though? We've been having fun answering the questions, haven't we? We have.

Today, we're going to have our guest answer a few too. Okay, so but before, for those six people left in the world who have not found our podcast, what do they do? Bachelornation.com slash golden hour. You got it? Write in your questions, write in your comments, but now. Oh, let's have fun. Let's have fun. Okay, we have a special guest today, the Love Virgin, Sam N.

That was written down. I would never have said that, Sam. I've learned to pronounce your last name. It is Sam Najad from Jen season. Sam, welcome to Golden Hour. How are you doing today? Hey, I'm doing great. Thank you for having me.

You turned red there for a minute. Do you not like the Love Virgin or the Love Virgin? You know, it's one of those things where it is. You don't know what a Love Virgin is? I don't think anybody wants to relive that nightmare, but, you know, it's not a lot good. It's one of those things that sounds better in your head. And then when you kind of say it out loud, you're like, wow, I did not think about, we all have those first, trust me.

I mean, we're going to get in. We are going to talk to you about what. you've been doing, what in God's name made you think to say that. You know, we won't torment you too much. We're going to have some fun here. But we do start with an, right, an episode with a question of the day. And we'd like to know your thoughts, okay? So we're going to read the question and then you're going to weigh in on it.

We're all going to talk about it. You ready? Yes, the question is, what in God's name would possess you to say you're a lover? No, I'm kidding. We will get into this, right? We will. A big issue in dating today, especially for young people, is trying to figure out if someone has asked you out on a proper date or just a hangout or hookup, which I just learned what that was. What signs do you think young women can look for or look out for to see if they're being asked out on a proper date?

So first, I think he's got, I mean. I think first, Sam, you need to define in your world what a proper date is. You know, a proper date to me, like, you're asking if, like, what's the most perfect date? No, like a proper date. I mean, as opposed to a hangout or hooking up. Like, what advice can you give the girls like when a guy asks her out? How does she figure out what a, is this a proper date or is he asking me just to hook up? I mean, I think you and I could figure it out.

But, you know, young women dating today don't always know. So what's the line you're going to use if you're asking a girl out on a proper date? Hey, remember, you're asking a love version on questions about love. I have no idea. Now, I'm kidding. I would say, honestly, it is the guy's intention, you know, like if he wants to pick you up, depends. Like, there's a lot of actions.

I feel like with that, it's your gut feeling. Like, what is your gut saying? You know, I feel like a lot of times. Listen to your intuition. Yeah, yeah. I feel like if something feels right, then it probably is right. So how do you ask somebody out on a date? Susan, he's not asking you out.

Sam, she's missing for a date here. Don't take the bait on this. I would ask you right now on this podcast, right, right, right now. I say yes. No, to be honest, you know, it just kind of feels right. You know, I feel like it's right now I'm focusing on just kind of, I guess, communicating better has been like what I've been focused on. Very good.

Do you pay for the first day? I do personally, yes. And it's a very Persian thing to do, but it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, I've been raised. Um, for me, I think that if I'm asking you or taking you out, then I have to, it's like, you know, it's, it's on me, right? Italians feel the same way when a man asks you out. Of course. Oh, wait a minute. I'm a Heinz 57 month. And if a guy asked me out, I expect him to pay for the first day. Yeah. Yeah. I do. What happened if you guys ask a guy out? I would pay for it.

Sam? Sam, are you looking for a day? Are you looking for a day? Do you want me to ask you, Sam? Is that what you're getting at that? I told you. Be careful. I know some... Is that a two and one deal? Oh, trust me. You can't handle us. I promise. Wait, we know some cute young girls, though. Oh, you do? Oh. Are you dating now? Right now, to be honest, I'm just focused on... Well, yeah, like, I'm in the dating world as far as, like, going out. What's her name? meeting new people.

What does she do? Wait, wait. Are you on a dating site or any of them? No, I actually never did any dating sites. Ever? Yeah, I just never, you know, I never, I never, I never needed to. No, I'm kidding. It's more so I just never, I never saw the appeal to that.

I always thought it was more fun. Like, I liked it the more like in-person interaction. Yeah, organically, that's like you too. Okay, so wait a second. So you're not really dating, but I want to know. know since-gen season, is your approach to dating different? Yes. Okay, tell me how.

So I'm not, so I've been focusing on communicating more because I normally like a layered individual that has a lot of emotions and then I have to tell myself like, how do I articulate that, right, in the best way? So I've been focusing on first communication because I feel like communication is crucial for any sort of dating. Key, number one thing. Just with anything in life, with, in regards to a partnership. And then also not to, I realize because one of the beauties have gone on on, like, you know, on national television and doing this is you get a, you get a, it's like, it's like watching like play.

You know what? It's like I'm a football player. We're looking back at some play tape. I'm like, you know what? That is definitely not going to move. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. We've gone upside down.

It's like, that is definitely not the move as far as like. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, right? Yeah, you know, but hindsight is 20, but the point is like, how do I turn, let's say that L into a lesson. And then, like, I think the biggest takeaway I had from, I guess, Faster Nation and Jen's season is not to put so much pressure on these dates and on myself. You know, at the end of the day, I know I'm like, like, I can, you know, I'm conversating all that stuff. I shouldn't just be, like, walking on the, walking on the limit saying,

you're my freaking wife. It's been courting. Like, at that moment, that's just me being Persian. Like, what can I say? Like, it's like part of my personality, man. I'm a married you, woman. Wait a second. How important is it for you to marry someone with your similar back?

Or, and maybe you don't even, a marriage date, I should have, you know, you don't have to jump the gun on marriage. Let's just start with dating. Yeah, I would say with cultural background or having some sort of traditional type of values, of course. You know, that's how I was raised. I feel like whoever's going to click with me would have some similar values to that, you know. So I do think it's crucial. But that's just, you know, it's what I'm attracted to at the same time, right? Yeah.

What do you think of the dating culture? I mean, it's so different from when Susan and I were dating. know. I mean, it was black and white TV and phones plugged into the wall. Have you ever been ghosted? No. So, like, for me, I started a company at a young age, right? So I started a company in 19, and then I worked because that was kind of like the mentality. You were taught. Yeah. And then also it's kind of, but it is a toxic masculine. It's very toxic, right, to some extent. Because I like deprived myself of going out, didn't see people

or any of that stuff. And that's, Lord and behold, that's why you think Love Virgin is such a great line on national television. This guy needs that more social interactions. And pretty much, yeah, like, I think nowadays what's really nice is we're putting, there's a lot more emphasis on, let's say, mental health or, like, empathy for guys specifically and, like, being very communicative and not being that traditional, like, toxic type of way. And I think a lot, like, it's really nice, you know, for me specifically.

I'm just in an era where I'm like learning day by day and taking a day by day I'm not like in a rush to Okay so this is all very politically correct You're doing a great job now Are you dating someone? No no no no

You really not? No so yeah no For me I do take a relationship serious And that is one thing that was like I was authentic Like authentically myself to some extent But it was exaggerated obviously But that's such a type of environment

But yeah, no, obviously, the girl that I would, you know, date is without putting as much pressure, I'm not putting a pressure like, yeah, that's a girl I'm going to marry, but I have intentions that I want to do long term. You know what I'm saying? I'm not, I, and maybe our definitions of dating are different because the way I'm saying dating is like in a relationship. Like, this is the one girl I'm being exclusive. I like being in a relationship as opposed to multiple dates, right?

Yeah, yeah. Some people might define dating as like, you know, you're like going around, going out and seeing like different people. for me when I when I define dating it's it's about one person specifically so whatever we want to kind of but you may go on a couple different dates to find the right person okay what are your top three I'm just shooting from the hair pair what are the because you know I have a question for what are the top three qualities you look for in a woman that you'd be interested in dating

what are the three most important things what's the first thing Brazilian Italian Vietnamese no I'm kidding it would be it would be under the age of 30 you're out go ahead go ahead how old are you guys now I'm kidding ambition is is crucial for me ambition good energy um I like for me like good energy is for me like good energy is the biggest priority and having some sort of traditional values or cultural values and respect right I think those three are really well would be you have to sit down with them to see all that like what attracts you to somebody that you want to learn more?

It would be the aura, right? How they hold themselves. And smiling, make an eye contact, things like this. Yeah, like, well, no, I'll be starstruck. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like if I saw a girl and I was like, you know, I like, I want my heads like turned twice. You know what I'm saying?

Like, I do get double tape where I say, I'm like, dang, who is that? You know what I'm saying? And that's like, that's all aura and energy, I feel like. So how do you, wait a minute. So you're saying you have to have that initial look, you know, seeing that person, you have to have that. I have very high standards.

I think that's my issue to you. You know what? Don't keep those high standards. Keep those high standards. Yeah, yeah. Don't ever. Don't settle. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, My boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet.

So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his person? professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jemell Hill, hosted the Sports and Politics and Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's

life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. If a baby is giggling in the backseat, they're probably happy. If a baby is crying in the back seat, they're probably hungry. But if a baby is sleeping in the back seat, will you remember they're even there? When you're distracted, stressed, or not usually

the one who drives them, the chances of forgetting them in the back seat are much higher. It can happen to anyone. Parked cars get hot fast and can be deadly. So get in the habit of checking the back seat when you leave. The message from NHTSA and the ad council. So I have a question. I have a question. After coming off the show, what have you done differently for yourself besides learning to communicate and understanding what communication is all about? How did it change you? or did it? Well, yeah, no, I forced me to, so I have ADHD, so I like. Don't we all?

I know. And it speeds up my compos. I could get, like, the award. Yeah, and for me, I have focused on, like, pausing a lot more and thinking before I speak. You know, whether that still involves with communicating or whatever, but that's been something I've been really trying to work on. because I know my intentions are pure, you know, and I want to be like, how do I best represent Sam in a way that, you know,

I don't have to ever defend or just be comfortable and be authentic with myself. And you didn't think that way prior to going on. So that was, that's a huge thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Stuff I'm conscious about today that I wasn't a year ago. Yeah, I love that. How would you, so I have so many questions. If you were to do it again, because you had time from the first time or go on

Paradise, I don't know if you would, would you do that? Did you do Paradox? To be honest, yeah, I love the Bachelnation. As long as I'm single and I haven't been Starstruck or whatever it is, I want to see why not. You know, I'm waiting for a Star Trek moment, you know? Okay, so what? I'm still waiting. I'm 67.

I'm still waiting. Is that never going to happen to me? Am I just always going to be like looking? No, it happened to be several times. It'll happen when you least, if you're out there looking day after day. But I want to know how, how do you approach you if you're not on the dating, naps, how do you intentional? He goes out. He goes out. He's young and handsome. They just go out. I also think like putting that pressure as someone to put a ton of pressure on him,

I think, you know, I got to marry you immediately coming out on the limo. I think also putting pressure on yourself when you're going out, like I have to find a husband. I have to go to church. I have to go to you. Yeah, right. I have to, you know, like wherever it is. Hell, wait, wait, wait. Let me just say, Susan and I have a much lower bar. We're looking for a guy who will let us go to Happy Hour and have our own. Are you guys looking for a six foot three Persian? That's 210 pounds. Yeah.

Okay. Where's your father, Sam? Where's your father? My dad's five, six. He's five, six? Yeah, yeah. No, I was a chosen one coming out of the womb. That's what my parents would say.

So he's never, ever been on the dating app. We used to be on them. No, no, no, no, no. You got to remember. I grew up, I grew up with like hot or not, right? That was like the dating app in like, 2013, 2012. It was hot or not, and then it was Tinder, and then it was Bumble.

I actually think from a product design standpoint, Hinge is like the best, like, application out there. That's how my son met his wife. Yeah, yeah. It's the app that's meant to be deleting. I think that's people. Yes, I love that. Wait, can I just say, I am from Boston and I talk really quickly?

Sure. You win the award. What did you just say? The app that's meant to be deleted. That's Hing's saying. That's their logo. I couldn't hear him. He said it so fast. Yeah. So I need to slow down.

This is like, it's, that's, that's, again. I know you're excited to be in the company of two beautiful, available women. But see if you can control yourself there, Sam. This is my first conversation I had with girls since Jen. Stop it. I'm sure. So I want to know what your business was that you started when you were 19. What kind of business?

Yeah. So I first started with smog, but if I'm speaking academia, I started a private equity firm. Oh, excuse me. I know what that is. My husband was an investment banker. That's awesome. Yeah.

So for me, I built and scaled. I started with smog. Smog is something specific in California. Yeah. And then I got into auto repair. My actual background is in tech and SEO. And I just been doing that since 2018. You know, I bootstrap the website.

So he's too busy. You're just too busy to date. That's the real truth. No, to be honest, it was, I was so focused. on like the truth be told is as i don't know if this sounds like whatever it is i was just saying like you know what i am 19 20 21 i got a hustle if i want to date like a high caliber girl a high value girl you know what i'm saying that's really as as as bad as that sounds that was how my mindset was that was not a bad thing yeah and that's and that's where and that's where it led like um for me

it was just like i'm going to grind and take this time now and then the funniest thing is is that it's not like what girls want nowadays girls are like an emotionally mature guy and that'd be like that emotional immaturity aspect is at least emotionally available you know that's what I mean that's what I mean emotionally available

you see this about communicating it's that's what I meant yeah emotionally have that conversation so what's the best part about being single um he gets the whole bed to himself that is that is actually like one of the biggest criteria for me is I do like having

Wait a minute, if you found the girl, would you, culturally, is it okay? Would you move in with her before you're married? I'm thinking she comes, I get the house, and then my parents or her parents move in, you know what I'm saying? Are you serious? What? You guys want to do that? Come on now. Not if we don't have to.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you seriously talking about a multi-generational living situation here? I'm saying, have the full house. There would be a sitcom in that family. And like, it would be. Oh, no, trust me. I definitely need cameras for this. I would explain something to you.

Girls don't want that, right? The woman you choose is not going to want her parents or your parents. No, if you change this is dynamic, but for me, I'm a huge family guy. So whether they're in the same house, I'll just buy the house next door. That's a mentality. Oh, God bless. Do you live with your family now? Yeah, right now when I'm Carl's, but I'm here.

Yeah, I also have a place in L.A. as well. Oh, maybe we could rent his place in L.A. Can we rent your place because we're here all the time? We need a place to rent. Is it available? It's downtown. I went to USC, so. That's a no. You understand he's completely. Amy's going to give us hers. We'll pay.

All right. Listen, we do. I love his family values, though. I really do. And I want to know what's going to happen when you find the woman that is as, as incentivized to be successful as you are, who's going to take care of the kids. And now I have the answer, your parents who are living next door. There you go. So, wait, I have one question. Do you know what your love? languages. Oh, jeez. You with the love language.

I would say affirmation. Okay. I think for me, it's pulling me out of my head. You know, I get in my head a lot at moments. And that's why I said to do you share good energy. Like a lot of that stuff are like uplifting. Because I'm a very like environmentally based type of individual. So it's like my environment's very positive.

Yeah. Like the world. If I get the right girl behind me, the world is in for a rude away. Yeah. And the carcoring is good. Sending on fire. Too bad, you're not 50 years older. I feel like this beard is growing as we speak.

Yeah, Susan, seriously. Okay, I'm done. I'm done. All right, Sam, what we do on that happen. We're going to give some advice. We have this advice segment and we're going to read some questions and then you're going to weigh in with us on the answers. Now, I want you to be careful because everything that we say to people, they take it literally.

They write us back and tell us how it worked at now. All right. So here goes the first one. Give your thoughts. This is from Anonymous. Okay. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I don't know what to do, and I'm hoping you can help.

Sam, you're included in this. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now, and I really can't stand his gal pal. I met her when we first started dating, and she really was not nice to me then. It felt like she was always trying to bring things up that I couldn't really talk about, like trips they'd both been on in the past. She moved away for work, so that took care of that, but now she's moving back. My boyfriend knows I don't like her, so I'm not really worried about them hanging out one-on-one. But they're in the same friend group, so I know she'll be around.

Any advice would be great. Thank you. What do you say, Sam? This isn't interesting. Can a guy and girls be friends? Oh, look at that. Right to the jugularity. That's what she's asking.

I feel like if your partner, truth be told, respected you enough and actually had like immense law. This is from my perspective. It's subjective, right? I would respect my partner and use you as a priority. So if I know that you don't like

say you don't like Susan or coming by or whatever then I wouldn't have Susan come by. It's just one of those things. When she was there, you mean? Or even in general, right? It's one of those things I would have to talk with you, Susan. and be like, hey, you know what, Susan, you're just, I'm cursing your family values. Susan, let me explain this to you.

When Sam and I start dating, you're not coming around, get it? And it's not an if, it's a when. So is it okay for a guy to have a girlfriend, you know, just a friend like this, or a girl to have a guy friend? Would you be upset if you're? No, I would say, of course, that is. But I think really what the bigger issue here is that she doesn't like her. girlfriend, right? So that's the issue here. And I think if that's the problem, if the boyfriend views you as a higher priority than the friend that's a girl, then he would basically respect your

wishes. Yes. I think, though, that you get a very interesting point, Sam, which is, does it breed insecurity? Of course. On both sides. No, that's sort of the elephant in the room here. Is it really about insecurity on where she stands with the boyfriend and worried that, quote, unquote, the gal pal is more or could become more. I mean, if she brings up the things that they did together, the trips that they went on and she wasn't involved at that. Right. I'm saying the girlfriend might feel like there's, the gal pal has more investment.

Yeah, she's definitely insecure. Like, well, that's like, I don't want to say she's insecure about the relationship. But, you know, I think this is, this is a very common thing, right? This is, it's, it's human nature. If they don't, like, it's something I feel like having to communicate with your partner, with the partner itself. and if he doesn't, if he's like, yeah, I don't know. I think you make a conversation.

It is a conversation, but here's the thing. I don't think, I don't think anonymous. We don't know her name. Let's call her Susan. Oh, why? Susan cannot legislate that her boyfriend stops seeing the girl. You make the good point, Sam, that he has to be intuitive enough to want to make his partner happy. Therefore, you know, maybe limiting the time he spends with,

with the gal pal. And here comes Susan's advice. Yeah. I'd sit down with the girl. And you don't understand, Susan. Sit down with the girl and say, what is your problem? Is this you too pretty? She didn't like that.

She didn't like the way she treated her. You know, maybe that would meant things a little better. Oh, you're with me, right. I forgot. Sure. Butter me up. Okay. Well, anonymous, we wish you luck.

Let us know what happens. And he needs to step up to the plate if he cares that much. Yeah, yeah. Good advice, Sam. Good advice. Okay. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate.

Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamil Hill, host of the Sports and Politics, and on the latest episode of Politics, and on the latest episode of

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing.

Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years, but their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. When your car is making a strange noise, no matter what it is,

can't just pretend it's not happening. That's an interesting sound. It's like your mental health. If you're struggling and feeling overwhelmed, it's important to do something about it. It can be as simple as talking to someone or just taking a deep, calming breath to ground yourself. Because once you start to address the problem,

you can go so much further. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have resources available for you at loveyourmindtay.org. This is from Ashley. Hi, ladies, and Sam, I really need your help. How do I get my boyfriend to talk about his feelings? Oh, we were just saying emotionally available, weren't we? Okay, it feels like every time I bring up a conversation that involves talking about how he feels,

it's stiff and awkward. We've been together for a while, and it's not like we have these conversations. conversations. Often I just feel like anytime I want to just check in on him and how he's doing or I want to bring something up that's been bothering me or whatever it may be, it always feels weird. He's never really been great at opening up, which is fine. That's bad. It's not fine. But I'm starting to get really frustrated. How can I get him to open up more? Is this written about me or what was it? I mean, I was just, going to say I may have been up late writing these last night, but, you know, go for it.

What do you say, Sam? Oh, my goodness. What is it? Is it uncomfortable to say how you really feel? Or I think it's about a family, how you were brought up. Did your parents show emotion? Did they show sadness? Did they show if something was upsetting them to their significant or to your mother or father or vice versa. Yeah. I would also just, just to piggy off that, I would say repetition. Perhaps it might not be the answer she wants to hear, but I guarantee you the more she talks to him, it's probably getting better each time. Is that how you would be that? I would, I'm answering for myself, you know, because the question is written about me. But that's how I would. And you're doing a damn good job of answering it, Sam. Is that right? They want me to shut up about my

feelings. I over-express. I tell everything. But wait, don't you think culturally, you know, I don't know, other than my French teacher in college, who I told you was Persian, who was as handsome as you are, I don't know that. I doubt it, but continue. Oh. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. But I think in some cultures, you know, the men are brought up to be strong, caretakers. You don't cry. You know, don't show. show emotion so I think sometimes it's a learned behavior it is so that's what I was talking about before I was saying this that's the beauty at 2024 where like the mental health and the like you know

the emphasis on being empathetic um and communicating I think it's going to get better over time so as she keeps and maybe asking the right questions instead of going so general uh maybe she kind of like helps him to a point of how would she answer that if the question was reversed and then kind of phrase it for him and then maybe that might when she says like I want to just check in on him and see how he's doing a lot of members I'm fine I'm fine but you can read it you can

feel a vibe well and also it's like the opposite you know what you ask like a girl like yeah what you want through like are you hungry no I'm fine now it's the guys and it's interesting here because she says he's never really Ashley says he's never been great open up which is fine well clearly it is not fine

with her so he's just not that guy he's not a communicator well he can learn to be and she about himself anyhow oh he can learn to me and she says it's fine that he doesn't open up it clearly is not fine so Ashley can't get the word fine out of there it's not fine get on you're frustrated so how is that fine or you know what he's important Ashley listen take it from me if it's not working with your guy this guy Sam that we're talking to telling you he's hot he's learned to communicate He's learned to communicate. He's got empathy.

Right as soon. We'll connect you with them. It's a day-by-day process. I'm telling you. Honey, we learn to the day we die. We learn till the day we die. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to learn the same lesson over and over again. That's true.

That's called Stuck on Stupid. Wait, before we break here. It's called me insane, but yeah. Wait, I have just a few more questions here. Susan, I want his eyebrows. You have the best eyebrows. women would kill. Now, I like his teeth, his smile.

You're a handsome man. You really are. You should not have a problem. Thank you. I think he has been, what's it called when you, you know. Reborn? No, no, no. What's it called when you're, you know, you're ducking.

You're saying, oh, no, not. What's the word? Anyway, I think you've have women lined up. I think that door behind you, behind that door, I think are 10 women. What the men, answer the door. Sam, answer the door. I think sandbagging, that's it. You are sandbagging.

I think there are 10 women. You've got to date. That white board behind you, that's not a business. No, no, no, no. That is not a business whiteboard. I have now figured it out, Sam. Oh, your vision board. That is all the women that you are dating when you have dates with them so that you don't

screw up and call Ashley Susan. Oh, stop. That's what it is. All right, do tell me, though, if you're invited and you're not in a relationship to Paradise, who, if anybody, would you like? us for them to be there. Now that would be awesome. We're going to be there.

We may be. If the golden crowd is on me, that would be amazing for the love version. Are you kidding me? And then Sam, this may happen, Sam. When you have questions, you can come and we'll give you advice.

We'll give you advice. No, that's literally what I'm looking for. No, honestly, I've kept it, I've tried, because I want to keep it as authentic as possible, I've actually haven't like dive super

into the Bachelor network. Like, it's like weird because it's like a Tinder basic of like anybody's in the vaccination. They all commingal. Do you get DM'd? Yeah, but for me like, well, I also made. Everybody but us. We don't. Go ahead.

No, no, no, no. Not as far as, uh, well, you know, I, you know, I, you get DMs, I promise you. No, we don't. No, I don't get DMs either. I don't know what I'm talking. Wait, if a woman slid in, hold on here. If seriously, because some of the people on Bachelor nation, women have slid into the guys and vice versa, if a woman you know maybe something from the show maybe somebody else just looked you up and thought oh god

he's a good looking guy liked his answers on kathy and susan's podcast i'm going to DM would no seriously would you respond yeah of course i feel like um like that needs DM's like it depends on the type of DM right but if it's like a genuine authentic DM yeah you answer for me that's like I give respect to respect to um but as far as like but as far as like whether that's going to turn into something i feel like that's you know i'm going to be honest it just it's just i'm here would you relocate would you move well my businesses are here right in san diego so that's why i'm based here um but as far as i'm also i also grew up in carlsman i love carlsman i would be some southern california i always

like that's like kind of like the best way to say i'm always going to be more soCal i do want to go uh east coast don't check it out but i'm from the east coast from the East Coast. I've never been. You've never been to the East. Yeah, and I feel like my personality is a little bit more East Coast. Oh, definitely, definitely. I'm from Boston and Susan's from Philly.

Philly, Jersey, New York. What is it, like 30 minutes away, 40 minutes away? Oh, I love that. Really? No, come on. Come on. Boston's way cold. Clearly you did not major in geography.

And my major is computer science. I'm about two hours from New York, an hour and a half from the beach in Jersey. Massachusetts is about a three-hour drive to New York City Philly to Boston's about a five-hour drive probably I gave you the most Carlsbad California answer You know So we only That's the most West Coast answer

What if you would you ever entertain a long distance relationship Most definitely If it's someone I like That's just my personality It's that one that turned your head and she had all the right Yeah that's what I'm saying I feel like loyalty itself The way I this is like

the way I define love, you know, is, it's like unconditional love is what you're like animals or your pets. So when I see like, let's say my dog and I see another dog out in public, I'm always thinking about my dog. Right. So I'm like, how do I find that kind of like love for a partner? You know, but isn't that obsessed? Sam, Sam, trust me when I tell you, the woman that you're going to fall in love with is going to be a very different love than the love you feel for your animal. And listen, no, no, no, wait. That is for the cliffs right there. It could be like that.

But, no, of course. No, my daughter and her husband, they have a boxer. And when they got this dog and before they, they have one child now before they had that child, my daughter came to me. She goes, Mom, I'm so worried. How am I going to love a child? like I do this dog. As much as I love this dog.

And after I picked myself up, you know, guffawing on the floor laughing, I said, Caitlin, trust me, when that baby is born, you'll have the answer to that question. And I still, they still say that about a second child. How am I ever going to love another child? That's why I think Epiphany is a great daughter's name. Epiphany? That's cool.

How do you think a kindergartner is going to learn to spell that? You can't do that to a child. Why do you think I go by Sam? Are you only a song on it? You know what, Sam? As far as I went through anyways. We're going to have to do this again. We love talking to you.

You are fabulous. Thank you. Thank you for coming on. And we'll probably see you in paradise, baby. I'm just saying. And yeah, well, we're hoping so. We're going to give you all the advice you want and a lot that you don't want. But thank you for joining us.

Everyone, be sure to follow us on Bachelor or Happy Hour. because if you like this episode with Sam, you got to see who's coming out. Every week we have fabulous guests. Do I actually need to tell them again where to submit the questions? Do you think they get it? I don't, Sam, can you tell everyone where to submit questions?

Do you know? Is Bachelor nation slash Bachelor nation slash Golden Hour? You're close. You're close. Bachelornation.com slash Golden Hour. Or? Yeah, bachelor nation.

com slash golden hour. He heard from saying. You heard it from Sam. Or you can hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour. So listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the Iheart radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Okay. Thank you so much. We enjoyed you.

No, honestly, this is, it was my pleasure. Thank you guys. You guys were super easy to talk with. Good. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for. extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast,

so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack,

where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Smokey the Bears.

Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through? Remember, please be careful. It's the least that you can do. Because it's what you desire. Don't play with matches. Don't play with fire. After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smokey Bear lives within us all.

Learn more at smokybear.com. And remember, Only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester and the ad council. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.