Bachelor Happy Hour - EXCLUSIVE: Becca & Thomas Celebrate Their Engagement!

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

On this week’s “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Becca and Thomas speak for the first time since becoming engaged! In their exclusive conversation with Michelle, the happy couple reveals everything that went down on that perfect day in their favorite park, what Thomas’ mom said when Becca called to ask for her blessing, and why it was important for them to keep this news private for a few weeks before making their engagement public. Then, Becca explains how she decided that she was going to be the one to pop the question and how she and Thomas hope this move inspires more woman in the future to do the same.  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. open your free iHeartRadio app search emergency intercom and listen now what would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth unfortunately for mark lombardo this was the choice he faced he said you are a number a new york state number and we own you listen to shock incarceration on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. What's up, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners? It's good to be back with you all this week.

I missed you last week, but I'm so excited for this time around, Michelle, because we have so much to go over. We do, especially you. I'm really happy that you're back with me today. I missed you last week, but I'm so excited because today is all about you and Thomas. celebrating your engagement and one of the greatest, I think, plot twists or comebacks, whatever it is, that Bachelor Nation has ever experienced. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I'm excited. I mean, this is the first time that Thomas and I will be talking about our engagement.

You get the exclusive here, people. So it's going to be a fun time. Thomas is just upstairs now. So we'll bring him down shortly. He'll be all set to join us and give you all of the from his side of when I popped the question for him. But before that, Michelle, obviously I missed you last week, but I'm so proud of you for taking over the podcast and for handling it all on your own. I had so much faith in you. But you had a big, big announcement. And obviously, that was that you were stepping away from teaching. And I can understand or I can, you know, kind of put myself in your shoes. Obviously, I've never been a teacher. But I'm sure that was not an easy decision to come to. So right now this week, you know, it's been seven days since you

have announced that you're leaving the classroom. How are you feeling? Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders? Where are you at right now? Yeah. Last week, last week was a really emotional week. I know that for me, it was a decision that I knew that I had to make. But I'm also still kind of adjusting being into the role that I am right now is because regardless with media attention with others, you know, that that would be a really hard decision for me because I am so passionate about teaching. And so then having to make that decision and then having to make that decision publicly, it was. It was a lot of pressure. And I do feel, you know, to some extent, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders because I was able to share since every time I think,

I post, someone's like, are you, are you still teaching? Are you going to be still teaching? So, you know, it was that thing that everyone kind of was just constantly wondering, and I finally was able to address it. But I also do feel like the hardest part is probably yet to come. And that will be, you know, on that last day of school when I truly am feeling those emotions of putting it down, you know, and it's not that anticipation anymore. It's me leaving my classroom. you know, cleaning out the classroom at the end of the school year. It kind of has a little bit heavier of emotions this year because I know that I won't be stepping back in that classroom the following school year. So I've been really honestly grateful for the response and the support because that has helped me. And I know that I will continue to give that support for my family, for my friends, just from listeners.

So many people have reached out to me and has just really made me feel like, supported and really have taken away from like that teacher guilt. But yeah, June 8th, June 8th is going to be a heavy day. Eighth is the day. Well, and I have to say, I mean, I've read the Instagram comments. I know how much support you are receiving, but just for me personally coming from a family of teachers, my grandfather was an elementary school teacher. My mom was for decades. Now my sister is and I've talked with them and they support you so much. I mean, my mom's staying with me and she's like, make sure you give Michelle a virtual hug and tell her how much I understand this difficult decision and she is rallying behind you. She sends you her love and I'm sure so many other

teachers out there can relate. I mean, and for you, it's not like you're leaving a typical office job, nine to five where like when you're teaching, you get invested not only in this as your career, but within every student that you see throughout the years and their families and you form this special bond. There's so much more that goes into it. And so I know you and how much you think through everythings. You are one of the smartest women ever. And so this, this definitely was not taking lately. I'm sure you put every thought behind, every, you know, potential decision you've made. So whatever you decide after this, we are here for you to support you. And just remember, life is so fluid. I mean, you could, you know, take a break for a year or two or longer and eventually want to come back. And

any classroom would be so damn lucky to have you and you're just incredible and so you know whatever you do you will succeed but the classroom will i'm sure always take you back yes no thank you and it's i mean it i feel like everybody knows a teacher and just the work that they do is completely amazing and i mean i said this last week just i i fully support other teachers out there whether they're choosing to come back to the classroom whether they're choosing to not come back to to the classroom, you know, but it's been a whirlwind and I think I'm gonna, I don't, I won't go through like an identity crisis, but like I think it's going to be a little uneasy for me for a little bit, but then I'll just. But enough about me because I love talking about you.

I know, but like I have so many burning questions. I feel like I can't be patient anymore. I'm sure listeners feel the exact same way. And this week is all about you because you are also now a future bride. And I feel like it's time to get Thomas in here. Let's bring Tommy to step on the man of the hour and my future husband. What is up wife, future wife? What's up, Michelle? That's weird to say. I was going to say, has it sunk in yet? Oh, I got to sign a birthday card to Mama Jill. And it was the first time I got to put to my future mother-in-law. And then that moment wasn't lost on me. That part was pretty cool.

It hasn't fully sunken in. But the cool thing about it is like it still feels like she was my person before she put a ring on it. And now she's my person and I got a ring on it. Okay. This is why I love this so much because I just, I absolutely love you guys together from from day one. But Thomas said before she put a ring on it. Oh, she put a ring on it.

She was back in you. The crazy thing is it makes sense. now in my memory because she was listened to a lot more Beyonce in the lead-up to the engagement and she was just feeling like a strong empowered woman and then she pulled this and it's like oh you go girl yeah um oh my god I don't even know where to begin with all of this I'm going to say fill us in like how long has this I have so many questions okay I'm going to start from the beginning how long has this been under wraps well so we well so I've been I was planning when I was on tour. So I started planning doing this or something similar, probably like early

April, I would say, early to mid April. And then I officially popped the question and put a ring on it on May 15th. So there was, before we announced it, we were living in this secret for about two weeks. Yeah, exactly two weeks. And, you know, just our close family and some, some super close friends knew, but it was like a very tight circle. So we kept the secret for a little bit, which was actually kind of fun. It was really nice for us to just kind of acclimate and soak it in and live in our own special moment until we shared it with the world. But yeah, a couple months. I was going to say it's actually kind of really nice because like the position that you two are in that after it happens, like you genuinely get to just live in it and not have to worry about responding to

like congratulations. And you know, you. You're going to get all the love and support, right? But it's really nice that you could just spend time to you too. Yeah. Well, and that's what I wanted because, I mean, thinking it through, I, like, it's no secret. I've been engaged twice before in very public ways, not on my terms and not even like on, you know, the partner at the time's terms. Like, it was all within the show. And, I mean, you know, because you lived it when you and Nate got engaged, there's so much going on.

There's so much commotion. There's so many people. You can't really like just live in your own quiet time. And then, you know, the entire world knows. And so this I was like, I want it to be so quiet, so intimate and just let us savor this moment for ourselves. And so it was the most, I would say, well, for me, you know, because you've never been engaged before Thomas.

I can say without a doubt, it is my personal favorite engagement. Yeah. So, okay, so how did she do, Thomas? Oh, she crushed it. I had no idea. Like, you had no idea. I had zero idea. So she was pulling out the ring box and I still didn't have any idea.

And it was, it was awesome because it was one of those just very rare, genuine, surreal moments. Because I'm talking 30 years of life, this isn't ever something I could have imagined, nor did I imagine. So when it was happening in the moment, it was generally a new thing that had never existed in my mind. my universe before and it was like the fact like that's how it went it was just insane it was it was amazing and my respect levels for her went through the roof like even more so at that point because just like i i struggled to say yes or just start slow clapping it was one of like those type of moments i i said absolutely immediately but here's the thing too when it was happening in the moment and we'll like get into the details about everything but to like lead up to the moment but when it

was actually happening when I'm when I'm the one being like Thomas I love you will you marry me he was laughing so much for so long that I finally had to stop me like dude I'm being serious here you're like this is a joke it was it was pure joy but it was also such a like I said a surreal experience like that was genuine just joy coming out of me yeah it was expressive and if you see the photos like I'm I'm just beyond beyond just happy. in that moment. So this is not something that you guys ever talked about. Like this was genuinely a complete surprise.

Complete surprise. So we weren't the only ones. Because I know that when I saw it come across my screen on my phone, I screamed out loud. Like I'd have to believe scream out loud and I believe Chief jumped. I was like, no, she didn't. We, I mean, we, I mean, no secret because we've talked about it on the podcast, but we've talked about getting engaged and knowing that we want to spend our lives with each other. but yeah in terms of me proposing to him i don't think anyone saw it coming he especially did not

but yeah um it was and and you know when like i've talked to men before who have proposed and they're like it was the scariest most nerve-wracking moment of my life and i remember in the past i thought like why you already know you want to spend your life with somebody why are you nervous you obviously think they're going to say yes and you love each other so you shouldn't be nervous but then when i was actually doing it i was like oh shit it's good thing I'm feeling like this so I can relate to these men because I was so nervous that whole day. And I knew exactly like I had it planned and prepped and ready to go. And then when it happened, I like still kind of blacked out. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like I was freaking out. But his,

yeah, his when he says like joyfulness was so transparent. It was so special. I wish we would have gotten it on video because his reaction was priceless. And it was so precious. But. lot of it, too, was in the buildup because, like we mentioned, I had no idea this is happening. In my mind, it's a wine photo shoot. I told him it was going to be a wine photo shoot for Bordeaux. Weeks in advance. So I'm just like, yeah, I'm showing him to this wine photo shoot. I'm going through my day like I normally would on any given Sunday. Okay. So, okay, take us from the top, Becca. Because one, start us where when did this idea like really started to come to life for you of like I'm I'm actually going to propose to

Thomas so when I was on tour um I mean I was because I've still had the days to work and get stuff done and one day I was just thinking you know like I love this man we've talked about getting engaged usually it's the norm traditional for the man to propose to the woman but I was like I've never been into traditions I have been engaged twice. I want him to know how much I love him and I'm serious about spending my entire life and committing to him. So why not just do it? You know, I'm all about like female empowerment and women supporting women and just like being a badass. So why not just do it? And I was like, um, so then I kind of started thinking of like, you know, if I were to do this, what would it

look like? What would he like? You know, how can I incorporate bits of us into this moment to make it extra special. So I just kind of started planning. And one of my friends actually down in San Diego is a jeweler. And so I reached out to her just to see like, hey, is this something you'd even be interested in helping me with? What's the time frame? I don't know how long it takes to make a ring and all, you know, all the little minuscule details. And so we started, she's like, look on Pinterest, find some ideas of designs that you like, send them to me. She's like, give me a time, like a deadline, a time frame of when you want to do this and I'll see if I can aim for it. And so I was like, okay I want to do it when I'm back from tour when I can put enough time into this and so I was like

you know mid-May and she's like totally doable and so we kind of just worked back and forth through different designs and sketches of what his ring would look like but and he always said he wanted just a gold band and so like I have my mom's gold wedding band that I'm good that I always wear and he's like yeah I just want something like that and so um but he's also very blingy and I was like I know he wants some yeah oh yeah really i'm sneaky blinging i'm sneaky yeah he has some other like pinky blingy pinkie rings and pointer finger rings that have like pops of sparkle or like detail and i was like i'm not just going to get him a plain solid gold band like he needs something more and so we started looking at different designs and um my jeweler her name is brook she sent me one she's like what about

this design this is something that i came up with and i've just you know had and i was like i love it That's the one. It just has like this little baguette diamond in the middle. But it was really important to me to have something engraved in it. And so he loves sunflowers. And it reminds him of his dog that passed away Sophia. And so I was like, I for sure want a little sunflower engraved in the middle of it. And then once we know it fits and the size is correct, I want to get to the moon and back engraved because that's what we always say to each other. That's like what our families would say to us growing up. And And so, yeah, she just started designing it and would send me videos and pictures every now and again and safe to send you something. Like, where's Thomas? Is it safe? Are we good? Where are we at? And I was like, yeah, it's fine. Send it to me. So we ended up getting the ring. And then I knew where I wanted to do it,

which was in a park because we always take our dogs to the park. And I really also wanted to incorporate his dog, Sophia, who had passed. So the day of the actual proposal, I had worked with a picnic company who had set up this beautiful little picnic with a ton of beautiful flowers and a tent. And then I went and I had to sneak Sophia's ashes. And I was like, I know he's going to know if they're gone because they're in his living room. So I had to put a dog toy in the ash box and take that in the ash bag and take the box out. And he would not leave the house that day. I kept being like, Thomas, I know you have Aaron's run. I know you have

stuff to do. When are you going? When are you going? And he's like, I'm going to go soon. I'm going to soon and I was like but again Thomas has no idea no idea whatsoever we got to add some bad context to this because she's going to the day of and one of the reasons why I also thought it was so funny for weeks it's this wine photo shoots this wine yeah I kept telling it's for the wine if you guys notice I cut all my hair off and this happens within 36 hours of this engagement and I tell her I'm going to cut my hair off like leading up to it she goes just please don't just wait until after the wine photo shoot it's just important just don't do it I'm like I you know, fine.

Later that day, I'm like, it's a wine photo show. I'm cutting my hair. So I give myself this absolute botch, just fade job. It was one of the worst haircuts I've ever given myself. And for me, it's like, it's not a big deal. And then all of a sudden, I end up going to this engagement photo shoot with just this busted haircut. Yeah, two nights before I walk upstairs and I just see all the hair on the floor and I was like, oh, hell, what did he do? Meanwhile, we have these photos.

And that was a good memory. Oh, it's so funny. of me. It all just adds to it. Yeah. And you have photo proof of everything. So, okay.

And then this is, this is so well thought out of. Sorry, would you say it, Thomas? I said, going back to the actual day, like she mentioned,

she had this, like, amazing setup. There's this picnic table. There's rose petals. There's like a special canopy with these cloths and linens to sit on.

Sophia's just propped in the middle all of it. So I brought like her little ash box with sunflowers to have her be part of the day. So me, it's so. This is symbolic.

I walk up and I jokingly, I go, this is really nice. What are you proposing me or something? He said it, but not even thinking about it. But he's never, ever, ever, ever, ever on time. Ever. This is the only day he was ever on time. So I played it off like, yeah, you were actually in time this time. So of course I'm going to.

And then I turned around. I was like, oh, shit, he knows. He knows. Not a clue. Not a clue. Yeah. So we finally sit down. We're enjoying this.

We're just taking these candid photos with, with the wine and eating recruitering. And finally, she hands me this card about 10 minutes into it. I'm like, oh, this is, this is nice. This is cool. And then still thinking it's a wine photo shoot, in my mind, I'm like, little weird, but sure. Yeah, this is awesome. But the card inside. Then I open the card, and it talks about how she loves spending all of her days with me,

and she wants to spend all over tomorrow's with me. There's a QR code. So I open up the QR code on my phone, and it's a video of all like my friends. and family telling me reasons why they love me and things that they love. Oh, my God. This is why women need to propose more often. This is insane. It took so long to get all those.

This is insane. The effort and sentiment. I have no idea. This is a, like I'm looking at it. Of course not. I kept the screen. It's this 15 minute video.

I'm like, babe, this is amazing, but we should absolutely watch this later. Just like time and place. And he felt bad for our photographer. He's like, well,

she's here to take pictures of a wine. She doesn't want to have me watch this video. And obviously, she knew that she was there for the proposal like she was well aware he just kept being like let's watch it later let's watch it later and i was like no just watch it now dude come on i was sent there on a mission to take a wine photo shoot and i was going to do the best dang job i possibly could and then finally she's like no i'm fine and then at the end of it um my favorite thing about it all and this is a question that that i'm getting a lot and i'm sure you're getting a lot too

she addressed she wants me to know that this is a partnership this is 50-50 and she She loves me so much, and she doesn't want this to take away from anything that I may have had planned. And just like in life, she wants to add to. And she wants this to be an expression of her love that adds to our story and that she didn't want to wait any longer and that she wanted to spend her life with me. And then she proposed. You pulled out a ring, and I was just laughing and just pure enjoyment. It was awesome. I'm like getting choked up over here.

That, like, seriously. Okay, did you get down on one knee, Becca? No, no, because we were already sitting and I was like, here's the thing. She did ask if I wanted her. I did ask. I was like, do I need to actually officially do this? But so we were in, and it was a public park. So other people and families were nearby.

And I didn't, and I wanted to still keep it pretty private. And we were both already sitting down under this little table. Like leaned back. So my legs were already asleep. And if we had to readjust, like she would have tried to go on a knee. I would have fell over. charcutory would have been knocked down like would have been yeah so it worked out perfectly but i tried to do my due diligence beforehand with everything else you know i was like if i don't get down on

any i hope it's okay like i'd called his mom and like because i kept telling him you need to get my mom's blessing you need to get my mom's blessing and i was like who am i to ask him to do that and i don't do the same so i of course asked for mama jacob's blessing and she's like you're already part of this family we can't wait to make it official of course and so yeah i um what was her initial response when you called her? I'm sure she wasn't expecting it either, right? No, no, no, not at all. She was, I mean, she was ecstatic. She's, and Mama Jacobs, I love her so much. She can be thinking of a thousand and twelve things all at once and, like, be excited for so many things. So I talked to her, got her blessing. We chatted about that for a little bit. And she's like, oh, of course, honey. You didn't

even need to ask me, you know, like, just blowing it off. Like, you're already part of the family, no big deal. And then she starts to tell me about her cat that. got locked in a dresser and it's it was so fat it couldn't get out so she's like telling me the story about the cat and I'm like okay mama Jacobs I love you I just needed your blessing because now I got to like go propose to him but yeah and we so you know the family got the approval which was great you know and I made sure I like had this whole thing planned in my head of what I wanted to say to him and then again I kind of blacked out and then he kept laughing so I kept getting cut off to be like listen to me sir but but I

did make sure, you know, like to say Thomas Jacobs, I love you. Will you marry me? I was like, I just need to make sure that I get those words in there and then put the ringer on his. The ringer? Put the ringer on his finger. And it's been perfect. And I was like, oh, yeah, done deal. So I mean, honestly, Beck, Thomas, this, this woman thought of everything. Everything. Like the detail that went into this like planning, like sentiment. And, all of that how was it like how did friends and family respond i mean we talked about mom jacobs and how she was you know excited and she talked about the cat how like how did everyone else respond because honestly this is not really something that you ever hear about right like it's so untraditional

which i love it's so empowering but also it's like it really does kind of like push people to think outside and in different ways because everyone feels like the man should be proposing to the, you know, the woman and especially coming from a show where like that is very much the tradition, right? To like go outside that norm. I absolutely love this. There was a common two words that were always said whenever we told like my family and my friends. It was no way that's awesome. Perfect response. And if you think about just the sentiment of that, incredible because you have someone who cares so much like they want to do that for you like do something that is just not done talk about an uncommon gesture of love like outside the ordinary

like you said at best michel the amount of thought that has to go into that not only just the execution but just also in the courage of having that be an idea that you want to act on like it's amazing yeah it's amazing and i feel very fortunate to have been able to experience that i'm even more fortunate that is with you and I'm just excited for this life you know yeah I'm like I'm just worried for whatever like good luck whoever proposes in paradise because nobody's talking this one I'm over here like thank God they're already engaged because that would have like that just like trumped everything like so amazing and like here's the thing yeah usually very traditional that the man proposes to the woman but I remember being an atheist

grade in dance. And at the recital, my ballet teacher proposed to her now husband. I hope they're still together. I'm not sure. But I remember as an eighth grader, what are you like 13 at that age, 12 or 13. I remember the first thoughts were, oh, that's weird. And then right away, I was like, that's kind of cool. Like the, and like, I still remember that moment decades ago being like, well, that's kind of rad. You're switching to norm. And it's like, you know, we've received so much love from people, but I've also seen comments where people are like, she's desperate. I would never allow like a woman to propose to the man. Like, I would never do this. And it's like, cool, that's you. But like, why does it as a female, why does it make me desperate to want to with somebody?

If Thomas in a week were to do the exact same thing, no one would say he's desperate. It's like, it doesn't make sense to me. The logic's not there. And I was like, love is love. And every relationship is vastly different. So why not let us do what works for us? And I knew like he would be so appreciative and supportive of it. And he would never be offended if like the female proposed to the man. So it's like, why should that matter who does it? Like I've never been in a relationship. You know, yes, I've been engaged in the past and I've been in other relationships in the past. But I've never been in the relationship where I'm like, I want a marriage and like a lifetime and I want to, you know, like I'm not scared to do that. Like even in the past, I've been like, I don't

enough marriages for me and I've told my mom and friends that like I don't know if marriage is for me but it wasn't until him where I'm like oh yeah like now I see it and I envision it and that's what I want and so why not show him how much I want to commit to him into this relationship and our partnership for a lifetime so yeah I say fuck fuck the gender norms like you know do you everyone you have this like elite crew though who else it chris and bell Jennifer Hudson yeah I mean, Judy. And like weirdly enough, right after I proposed him, we went to Hawaii and we were, I was watching the, well, we talked about this a few weeks ago, the marry me, Jennifer Lopez movie and she does it to him. And she makes it comment. She's like, comment giving in a, she's in a press interview. She's like, you know, why should it hold me back if I'm a woman to propose to somebody? Like for so long, it's been tradition. But like, who cares if I rock the boat? I'm going to do this. For me. And I was like, oh, yeah, girl, I get that.

So rock the damn boat. Yeah, so we're saying Judge Judy a second ago, by the way. Yeah, I did. I saw your face light up to start laughing. Judge Judy doesn't I want to do it too. Judge Judy, that's a strong, independent woman. Oh, hell, yeah. So I would love to see somebody tell Judge Judy that she cannot propose to.

Oh, my God. Judge Judy is the least desperate woman out there, people, okay. So anyone out there who has any. lack on anything, you take it up with Judge Judy and you let me know how that goes for you. Absolutely. Honestly, right now, I really, after this episode's over, I'm not going to go, there's got to be photos or video footage of that like that. I want to see that.

My YouTube search. Oh, yeah. Oh, we'll find it. We'll find it. Can you imagine the speech Judge Judy gave to someone to propose? Like, that I would. No, no, she probably just took her gravel, gravel and hit it and said, say yes or no. And then he's like, yes.

She's the judge. She passes the verdict. She's just like. She was like, you're going to say yes. I did this for you. You're saying yes to me. Yeah. So, yeah, it's been a whirlwind, but that's kind of how the day went.

Oh, well, do you want to tell them about the morning at the farmer's market? That was nuts. That was crazy. All right, Phyllis and Thomas. So we, after yoga, we walked to this farmer's market that's in an area that we love. But we've never been there before. It was like a random, like, let's just do this. And we pop in and we got these bracelets.

You guys get matching bracelets? Before this happens. There's different gemstones on them. And each of them, they're supposed to correspond to certain energies that, one, you're putting out in the world and two, what you're trying to receive back in. And when we're looking through these different bracelets, she's like, I offer readings if you'd be interested in. And then me and I lied up, I'm like, yeah, done, let's do it. Shelby, what's up? Shout out Shelby at Hillcrest Farmer's Market.

But she starts doing our readings, and she's about three cards in starkly out of nowhere. She looks at Becca. she goes let me see her hands so beck puts her hands out she goes go away and like banishes her she'll banished me i had to leave really okay and then right when beck is out of shot she looks to me she goes when are you proposing and i was like oh soon it gets coming up like soon and she shuffles three more cards she goes celebrations in order the decisions already been made soulmate and those are the next three cards that she pulled like after pulling a card to banish Becca.

This is like proposal day. This was proposal day. We weren't even planning on going to this farmer's market. This is about eight hours before any of this happened. Okay, wait. So when she's when she's saying this, right? Because Becca is over. I'm buying some juice.

So she finishes my reading. That's where happened right away after she sends back away. Becca comes back. Becca gets her reading. And hers were really started getting crazy. So we already had that for mine where she was not. privy to it whatsoever so i had no idea i was like what i don't know what i'm walking into what's going on this is weird she starts a reading for becca and she starts pulling similar cards as

far as celebration the decision you have a decision to make and then the next car's this decision has already been chosen it's already been made do not worry like don't hesitate it's done if she knows it's that day and then we're really took a crazy turn well one more in there because I'm such a control freak. She's like, she's like, you need to like let go of control and just know that it's all going to work out. And it's like, oh, thank you. Okay. I needed that.

Right after that, she looks up. She goes, what does a sunflower mean to you? Well, no, no. First, yes, she's like, what happened with your dad? She's like, what, what happened with your dad? And I was like, well, he passed away when I was 19. And then she goes, what you can finish? What does a sunflower mean to you?

And then sunflower is my personal favorite flower. It's inside the one. wedding ring. There's a sunflower in the room. It represents Sophia to me. But also, Steve, Becca's dad used to grow sunflowers in the backyard and everything else. And she goes, he's handing you a bouquet of sunflowers. And she's saying it's Thomas that my dad is handing him a bouquet of sunflowers. And we, she obviously had no idea that like that was our favorite flower, that anything. Like no idea. It was so, it was like kiss me. It was crazy. So were you just like taking it in?

right i was sobbing like i was sobbing you too but like so at thomas at one point did you ever like when beck was away did you ever then like reconvene and tell her all that kind of unfolded or did you just like keep it to yourself and you're like yeah well the one that i immediately told her uh shelby also pulled a card that we're gonna have two kids and the first one's a boy so i was like we're having the boy and then the cool thing about that is everything else she said has come to fruition so i'm like All right. Done. Done. I was like, are you sure that's accurate? Do you want to just do a little reread to make sure it's on a girl? But when Becca came back and at her reading, I got very similar cards. And then I told her later on when we're looking at some other stuff. I'm like, she told me soulmate. She told me. Yeah. So it was and it was wild. Like you really can't make this up. Right. It was so like the fact that. Yeah. Like the sunflowers what got me. So I'm, thank God I had sungust sun because I'm sitting there. crying and I was like and I know in the back of my mind you know later tonight I'm going to be

proposing to him it's all perfect and so I was like well of course now I have to buy sunflowers to have there so we bought sunflowers at the farmer's market and so I had set it up next to Sophia's ashes and yeah I just wanted to make it as personal to him and what he loves in his life for that moment and so I wanted to make sure we obviously had Mino and Leo there I wanted to make sure Sophia was there and then yeah just like some little little intimate things that he would always remember that were extra special to Thomas and I still I'm blown away that after seeing all of this I still thought it was a dang wine fire yeah yeah and you can't get anything by this guy so what that's insanely special and just sounds like I mean if you didn't need one sign if you

If you didn't need two, three, four, five, like, that day was just going to go perfectly no matter what. Yeah. It was really cool. I mean, I'm very also curious about the timeline of these children because, you know, like everything else fell into place. So like, how long do we have to wait, you know? Oh, you know, give me a little bit. Well, we got, we have to, we have to knock out. Michelle, you already know at this point.

It's just I, we're just. I we're joking around that I thrive in chaos and it's like I'm getting to get stuff done she's like yeah the big plan stuff we're I'm just going to figure out to get it done yeah it has to happen eventually but the timeline we need to go one B of the proposal is because I got a ring she she needs one at some point um yeah my fingers feeling lonely over here we'll do one B we want to we want to we want to spend a little time to enjoy just the engagement while we're planning what we want for the wedding because we're still up in the air for how we want to do that if we want to have a small just i might be going to the far ahead and she might be stabbing the leg soon but if we

want to have like a small elopement and then like a big party or if we want to have what style wedding how we want yeah we have a lot to think about and also like i mean we're in the midst of trying to sell his place and buy a house and all that so i'm like let's just focus on that right now and then the wedding will we'll figure it all out and we also have so so many people are getting married i'm like we have when can we get married because everyone else is getting Mary so it'll find time yeah we got time time no that is just absolutely absolutely wonderful I had goose but like I still have goosebumps from you guys talking about just how everything fell into place it's been so cool to hear okay so but Becca did anyone help you or was this like

this was genuinely all your idea for the most part genuinely all my idea I mean the only help really was Brooke, the jeweler, you know, who was going back and forth with designs and everything like that. And then one of my best friends who she, so when I was Bachelorette, she was one of my producers slash handler and her and I got super close years ago. And she's been my best friend when I moved to L.A. She lived a block from me. Like we were inseparable together 24-7. She is literally the reason that we are together. Yeah. She's really besides like our moms. and my sister she was the one who like knew everything helped me from start to finish who like talked me through everything when I was nervous and so um yeah she was probably the main one to get

me to like where we are today but yeah so other than that like no one else though no one else knew at all i mean like this is like one of the best kept secrets especially when i when i heard i was like we wait we've filmed because we filmed the podcast like several podcasts since it all like went down I was like dang usually I can like pick up on things no I'm a steal crap

y'all had a lot of all that too is because I was wearing my ring I wouldn't take it off she's like well maybe you don't wear I'm like girl if you wanted me to not wear this ring you shouldn't have put it on my finger and then like honestly though I think if we would have like if I would have seen I think I probably would have thought it's like the aura ring because you and I have spoken about I was, I was, I was wearing it.

It's, picture clear in all these photos we're posting on, so, like, we're doing our normal lives, but it's also a perfect indication of how far out of the normal thought process for people. Right. I'm wearing an engagement ring. I'm posting an engagement ring. I'm not hiding at all. And then no one says any word about it. Here's the thing. The steps that, like, when we were in Hawaii, because we were there for a wedding. And so I was like, I don't want to take away from your friend's wedding. That is the focus of why we're here. Don't tell. anyone so we didn't but he had posted a picture you know just with his arm around me and people saw the ring and people jumped from us just dating to us getting married in Hawaii like there was

no in between no one even it didn't even cross their minds that like I went I had proposed to him which which is cool because in our lifetime we're going to see just a mindset shift where I guarantee this is going to be something that becomes more commonplace and you're going to see more women feeling confident enough in their selves and their relationship just to propose. and for us it was one of those things we just got to enjoy it and it wasn't on anyone else's radar and it was just a special moment between the two of us and I feel like we're going to see a shift in our lifetimes and I think that's a really special cool thing well yeah that's the thing it's like you know if if somebody's traditional and the woman wants the guy to propose cool but if you know

there's also so much pressure that comes with that and so if somebody feels like they're in the position and want to switch it up like I did they should and I hope that's more open I I hope you know especially like well our country's in a very weird state but yeah what would you say to someone who wants like who who's like starting to think about proposing I would say do it do it I mean here yeah like I said everyone's relationship is different everyone's wedding is different everyone's marriage is different and so you know like why put so much pressure on just like the one act of like the man has to propose to the woman like when everyone has way different relationships and how they handle things and process things and show love like if a woman wants

to do it and and you know wants to take the lead by all means I say hell yeah go for her girl you know if you look at a macro perspective if you look at a relationship and one partner or the other whether it's male or female is confident enough to know that this is the person spend their life with them. They know them well enough. They have enough shared value that there's no way the counterpart, if it's a woman proposing the man, isn't going to be comfortable with it. Because I mean, if you're to that point where this is my forever partner, clearly you're on the same wavelength. Clearly, you're confident that relationship that it's not, it shouldn't be an issue for, for anybody for me. I think it's the most dang flattering thing that could have possibly, are you

kidding me? So I joke with him, though, because I popped the question he has to plan. in the wedding. And then this. But also I'm such a control freak that I don't think I would let that happen. Yes. Oh my God. Wait a second. No,

I love this. Since she proposed to me, it immediately catapulted me into trophy husband territory. It's just like, okay. It's like this is, this is how it is. I'm not mad at it.

But okay. And also too, I was thinking about it just like going back. I obviously was so nervous and yeah. But there's I think so much pressure. Like the wedding industry is huge. just in general like the diamond industry is huge like there's so much pressure all the time i mean historically so up until this point like for the man to get the nice big diamond and like to have

this elaborate extravagant like bachelor like proposal which for most people isn't attainable like just like financially and so maybe this will like allow more people just to see okay we don't have to put this crazy big pressure on buying a super expensive massive ass ring or doing this like elaborate grand gesture like you know we did it very cost affordably like in our own special way that i think meant more to us than no offense to the show but like doing it through tv i'm just saying but yeah who who's to say that i mean um relationships where like a man is proposing to a woman is going to be more successful than a relationship where you know the woman's proposing to a man or yeah or whatever direction

it is going with whatever gender it's going and so it's just like i i'm kind of excited to see because the bachelor franchise right has been a very traditional um way of just going about relationships you know to some extent and so it's it's really cool to see this extremely non-traditional unexpected moment yet that has so much sentiment that has so much sentiment that has so much love to it. I'm, I'm really excited to just, like, I don't know, I think you, I think you put an idea in a lot of people's heads that would not necessarily cross someone's mind. I mean, it didn't cross my mind. It didn't cross Thomas's mind, right? But it's pretty cool that two people who are in the spotlight have been able to, like, do that. And yeah, y'all,

well, all I got to say is we better some malengagement rings down on the beaches of paradise this season hey at least allow the option that's all i have to say no one decides to do it that's okay but at least allow everyone the option to have that a hundred percent guarantee last year's paradise would have ended different with erin and james if their male engagement rings guaranteed yeah one more love story for the books hey that that's very true that's very very who do you think would have gotten down one knee oh james is proposed an aaron Absolutely. But I do like the idea of having Thomas plan the wedding.

Because can you imagine that wedding? Oh, he would be extravagant. I can imagine you are, he's a very, very good planner. Oh, yeah. He'd be, that's the thing. Like, I mean, because I'm a control freak, I don't think I would actually let him do that. But I have no problem. Like, if we, whatever we decide if it's big, small, I have no problem having, like, I would

want him to help me. I would want him to probably like do more than like 50-50 because I think like as far as weddings I've seen with friends, it's always like my girlfriends who are taking the lead and planning everything and just being like, okay, honey, this is what we're doing. This is what it's going to be. And like if he had a say and like actually had what he wanted, I have no problem with that. It's like, please take a load off me. I don't want to have to worry about that.

Do you? So it would be zero stress in all vibes. It would be amazing. I was going to say, who do you feel like is going to be the one? that's the most stressed out during wedding planning me during during during life I'm stressed out constantly 100% it seems like there's a lot to unpack there stress is my only emotion that I think I ever know so yeah I like that would you say zero stress 100% vibe zero stress all vibes all vibes that seems like it needs to go in like a like a sign above like a shirt bedroom something

Okay. Have you thought about, okay, so Becca, you proposed Thomas. Have you thought about like last names? Oh yeah, we're going to hyphenate. Well, yeah, well, I don't know the order. I googled a few times and typically I'll have made a name first and then paternal and yeah, well, yeah, I don't know if it matters like Kufrin Jacobs or Jacob's Kufrin, but we'll for sure hyphenate and we'll have our kids hyphenate too. Like I want them to be, I mean, they're both of us so one of the reasons that's also special me especially for the kids is because since beck lost her father and it's her and her sister i just don't want to see any scenario where there's not a coup friend going around in the world absolutely i think that's a special thing to

have and especially since in the reading we did confirm we're having a boy boy first when that happened i just snorted was it was it was shelby shelby we got to get shelby we need a Shelby on the podcast because I have a lot of questions for Shelby, but we need to keep her in the loop so that like when this starts to take place, I want a timeline from Shelby. I want a few names. She's, it's so funny too because she was so unassuming like, you know when you think of a psychic, like you think of somebody sitting there with like her tarot cards and like it's all like magical. Like she's just standing there. Like she's not even paying attention to us half the time. talking to kids walking by she's just like having a grandal time and she'll be like oh yeah like

here's this or that like she's she's just rad like and I've only met her the one time but just like cool and so yeah I'm like and we weren't even planning that I'm being there so the fact that it happened in the first place I was like I trust shelves yeah like those are the times where you actually I mean like I feel I've never been to a psychic before but I feel like I mean I've wanted to try one but I also feel like walking into it I'm you know especially now with how much information about all of us is out on the internet it's like okay like everybody knows everything but yeah i'm super skeptical but the fact that that happened organically you have to believe it yeah it's we're going with that yeah so that's our life today right now things have been great

oh my gosh okay well so how long until y'all really truly like jump into wedding planning And I know that you'll enjoy the engagement, but I also feel like I can see like Thomas getting antsy. Like, let's plan this thing. Let's knock it out. It's like, we don't got anything planned for the next seven and two hours. Give me 36. I got you. I got an idea.

I don't know. I mean, we've like, we've gone over a couple of potential scenarios. I mean, her dad's birthday is 1024 and we're thinking maybe doing something like that, but it's a Tuesday this year. And do we want to elote? just on just a courthouse. So we have to decide. We're not doing courthouse. We have to just give me an example, just relatively speaking.

So we just have to decide what we wanted to look like on, on that day. Yeah. And then from there, just dial on the details. I think realistically. And this, this is not set in stone. So anyone out here listening who's going to be like, you said this. And if we don't do it, don't be mad. We probably will do a small ceremony with just immediate family.

that's it and then have a rager of a party later on i want like gatsby themed prohibition food trucks like just a fun party later on that's ideally what i'm going for but we'll see and then as far as like that first portion the practical side of things she needs her sister to be there's no way we're not doing it without her sister she's pregnant and she's due in september she doesn't she won't travel so so that's going to be it's going to be predicated a lot on the schedule for the close we won at the wedding and then just like she said just throwing just the most awesome 1920 style rager after it's just going to be yeah it's going to be awesome so see i'm excited i know you okay if anything we know we know now that y'all keep us on her toes

so we can only imagine what's going to come next but i'm also not the type of person to like start planning a lot so i'm going to need somebody aka probably thomas or somebody to be like you have to start planning something now like but you just plan this like you you just plan this like perfect sentimental proposal yeah i feel like you can't yeah Thomas had you been planning something yeah i already have i the dates i like that's that's also one of the reasons why i appreciated the she wanted it to to show just sign of addition to and she even made remarks on it I don't want this statement. Yeah, I've had, I've had it planned out for a while. He kept telling me, though, he's like, you're not getting engaged in Maui before I proposed him.

He's like, you're not getting engaged in Maui. It's not happening in Maui. She had this looking in her eye and I just had to tell her up front so you could enjoy the makeup. I'm like, it's not happening a whole eye. But then I got kind of confused because I was like, okay, is this reverse psychology where you're actually going to propose to me in Maui? But no. I have no idea. Honestly, don't have any idea because he keeps like joking around now, saying different random times. And so I'm like, whatever it happens, it happens. It might be next week at Chipotle. Who knows? We'll find out. She would love that.

Well, it has been absolutely awesome talking to you both. You guys always have come across like your madly in love and just like spending time with you. It is so, so genuine. But I think what's been really special for me today is just see that continue to grow through this. And I'm excited. I'm so excited for you guys. I can't wait. I can't wait.

I mean, so much to celebrate. right so many good times um but michel before we kick my fiance off that still sounds that's a nice thing i like the sound so weird to say so but before we let him go we got to do our rose and thorn so michelle you take it away this week girl okay um let's start with my rose would be that um this weekend i get to spend a lot of time with my friends and i finally get to see nate because i've not seen him in like four weeks. Damn, girl. The internet thought we all broke up, but we are still together.

Stay back at it. We were back at it. Take that right. We had to reintroduce ourselves, though, because we haven't seen each other in so long. But so I got to see Nate. I got to see some friends. My thorn would be that the end of the next week is going to be a little bit bittersweet with stepping out of my classroom.

But I'm ready for whatever is to come. So I'm excited. All good things, Michelle. All good things to come your way. Yes. You want to go? you okay i feel next i will my my rose and be two-parter here first and foremost mom and jill come to town part two of that mama jill was a teacher for forever so my overall rose goes out to all you

teachers everywhere i know it's hectic Michelle we've been able to live through you first hand stay strong y'all this country these communities they couldn't be where they are without you guys you guys are so appreciated and just sending all the love we possibly can um and then my thorn is is dealing with some very frustrating um circumstances and buying new homes and that's that's been i have a few more gray hairs because of this this most recent one but everything happens for a reason and i can't wait to where we end up have home with this one right here my my my my my fiancee good old ball and chain um no i feel like those are going to be probably like the same. Yeah, my thorn is just

dealing with this headache of moving. I thought you were going to say Thomas's hair cut. No. This is tolerable. We like it. Actually, it's growing on me. The more I look at you in the screen, it's growing on me. It's not terrible.

Okay, so if you were to wear this, like, walking down, you know what I mean? Your wedding day. Can the mustache stay for the wedding day or maybe not? Oh, maybe say like trim it, trim the stash. I'm going to go ahead and say the mustache, can't stay for the wedding day. Okay.

But I don't mind the short boundaries. Yeah, mustache will not be there on wedding day nor will it probably be there tomorrow. So we'll see.

After we see Top Gun, the stash is gone. Okay. Depending on how much I like it. Yeah. And then, yeah, my roses to kind of to play off Thomas,

the fact that my mom and God mom are in town. My mom hasn't been able to be here since pre-COVID. So it's been a while. So we get to spend a week with her and I can't wait. And then, yeah,

just, I mean, finally being able to, to announce this and share that we're engaged officially and just soak in all of the support and the love and just to be able to read all of the well-wishes has been really, really special. And so that's definitely the top-top-top rose.

For sure. The top-top-top. Hey, pun-intended. I love it. Well, Becca and Thomas, thank you so much for sharing details of your incredibly well-planned special engagement with us. I know I speak for everyone in Bachelor Nation. when I say we are all so, so excited for you both and that we wish you a lifetime of happiness

and love together. Oh, thanks, Michelle, and thanks, Thomas. I love you. But I got to kick you off now. Okay, I'll see you soon. Becca, that was so much fun. It is always such a treat to be able to talk to you and Thomas. You can see the love between you two every time.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. Oh, God, that was so much. I just sounded so many of Soton there. Wow. Oh, okay. Yes. A little Minnesota.

It comes engaged. It comes out when I'm extra excited. No, that was such a blast. It's still crazy to say fiancé, but there it is out in the open. We had such a blast this week. So thank you, Michelle and Thomas. Welcome back anytime, honey. And I'm like totally forgetting where I'm at right now in this lifetime.

Cloud 9. Cloud 9 is where I'm at. I love that. But also a huge shout out to her Bachelor, happy hour listeners. as I did miss you guys last week, so it's good to be back again. And Michelle, as always, it's such a pleasure to be with you, girl. Yes. And make sure to hit us up on social.

You can follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram. And from there, you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on Twitter and TikTok. And don't forget that Bachelor Happy Hour is available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen. And you can listen to us ad free by subscribing to Wonderry Plus in Apple Podcast or the Wondery app. Thank you, everyone. and see you next week. Bye. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman,

host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier.

Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Complex problem solving. takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness Psychobabble

Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom's the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app Search Emergency Intercom And listen now I just normally do straight stand-up But this is a bit different What do you get when a true crime producer

walks into a comedy club Answer A new podcast called Wisecrack Where a comedian finds himself At the center of a chilling true crime story Does anyone know what show they've come to see It's a story It's about the scariest night of my life

This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.