Bachelor Happy Hour - EXCLUSIVE: Blake Horstmann Interview, Part 1

Episode Date: September 18, 2019

From his real relationship with Caelynn to those infamous text messages, Blake opens up in his first in-depth interview about his time on “Bachelor in Paradise.” Plus, how the last few months have affected his mental and emotional health.Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right.

To give you the answers and you still blitzers. The Puzzler. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they will, won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back.

Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, and welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Rachel, and I'm here, of course, with none other than Allie. And we have a great podcast for you today. We really do. And I know, I know we say this every week. We're like Chris Harrison, right?

how Chris Harrison says, the most dramatic rose ceremony ever or finale ever. But this really is a great podcast because we have Blake here. We had Dean last week. So thank you so much for tuning in last week. But this week with Blake is going to be good. Yeah, this is a really big week because unfortunately, to the dismay of Bachelnation, we saw the end of paradise. But at the same time, we saw three engagements, which I don't know, is that on par? Is that a record? Because I have to admit I've actually never finished a full season of Bachelor in Paradise. This is the first time I have watched beginning to end. So, of course, this is why I have so many opinions

because I've seen it in a way I've never seen before. But at the same time, I guess things come in three, right? Engagements. We saw the end of paradise, but we also got a new bachelor. A new bachelor. And we're going to talk about it. Let's just start with that. All right, go ahead.

Because you know I'm pumped that Peter is a new bachelor. I've been rooting for him from the get-go, but you were hoping for someone else. So tell me, Rachel, pretend I'm your therapist here. Tell me how you're feeling. I fell asleep for a second when you were talking about. Man, that's what to be there. Okay.

In all honesty, I'm saying this, I'm joking. Remember, compliment sandwich. I think Peter seems like a super sweet guy. He's an attractive guy. He seems to be easygoing and fun-loving. And I am not saying that he won't be a great back. Bachelor. Not my issue. But I have to say that I'll be watching this season through a lens of sadness because I know people will jump on me and they're going to interpret this whole thing

that I'm against Peter and I'm not. It's honestly it's not about Peter for me. It's truly bigger than Peter because as I've said multiple times, whether it be on this podcast or in some other form of media, Mike Johnson should have been the Bachelor of Season 24. period. That's my opinion. It's time. It's bigger than a Peter. We have seen so many seasons of Peter. And I just feel like now's the time for something different. But I will say I'm going to assume that if Mike wasn't chosen, there's a reason. I'm going to go ahead and say that. I'm going to admit that. I don't know what that reason is, but if he wasn't chosen from the friendships and what I know about production,

there has to be some good reason why they chose not to pick him. But I feel like there is a bigger problem here, there's a bigger issue, and I can't excuse it, and I can't look past it. This show's been on for 17 years. And in 2019, it disappoints me that the Bachelor franchise does not reflect reality.

It's not reflective of what the real world looks like or what real life relationships look like. And I can go beyond color. I can talk about the way people look. you know ages whatever it doesn't it isn't reflective of that and I'm personally don't feel like I want to watch another season where you know the same people make it as far as they do the leads look the same way you have certain people make it to a certain point to fill a quota and I just don't want to watch another season that

caters to one specific audience and just doesn't isn't reflective of what the real world looks like and to be honest I'm bored I'm not necessarily bored with the drama because I think Hannah had an entertaining season and so did Colton but I'm bored with the cast and I'm bored with the way they look like and I'm sorry

vanilla isn't the only dessert that's out there flavor of dessert and white isn't the only color in the crayon box but if you watch Bachelor Nation or Bachelor franchise that is what we see when it pertains to leads and I think

my biggest thing is that the system isn't working and that's what's upsetting to me because as I said I have friends in production I don't I don't have anything negative to say about the franchise in

that sense but you have to admit that and I think that they want to see a person of color as the lead but whatever the system as it stands isn't working to put a person in place and this is a thing it's a weird thing because you're right

with Peter being The Bachelor we probably will see similar girls from past seasons make it far and whoever makes it far becomes the next lead and it's a cycle right like you're saying so someone who's different needs to make it far in order to be considered and unfortunately

I just don't think Mike made it far enough well you can't say that because he made it farther than Hannah and Hannah got to become the lead and I didn't think Hannah should have been the lead and I agree well but for different reasons because I just wanted somebody who was older and I thought they should just go back and do what they haven't done in a bachelor's season, what we've seen for bachelor seasons.

And caveat, we liked Hannah as a lead, but when she was chosen, we were both like, huh? Everybody was. And if you say different, you're lying. But I think, like I said, with Mike, I'm assuming if he wasn't the lead, there is some reason for that. I get it. I want to talk about it from a bigger issue. And I just feel like I don't want to hear anything about the process and in picking the lead because I have watched over these last three years, the Franier.

franchise for quote-unquote break the rules. Okay? Now, granted, I started just watching this show three years ago. So there's also that. But they broke the rules in Nick Vile's season, Ari season, and in Hannah B season. And then they changed the rules for Colton season. Nick wasn't from the season before. They went back years and picked Nick.

Same thing they did for Ari. They broke the mold with Hannah B because they didn't pick somebody out of the top four. I don't know what she was. eight, nine, seven, ten, something. She wasn't in the top four. She didn't make it to hometowns. With Colton, they changed the rules because he jumped a fence

through a fit and basically got to do it his way to get the girl that he wanted, which worked out for him. And I think the best example, and this is what I will hang my hat on, and the franchise has given me a scapegoat for it, is the Demi Christian situation.

Because I am all for Demi and Christian and their relationship, and I think it is very reflective to the argument that I'm making of what the real world looks like. Same-sex relationships are prevalent. They are real and they happen all the time. And I think it was beautiful that the franchise highlighted that. However, the franchise broke the rules to highlight that.

They brought somebody who has never been a cast member into the franchise to reflect this because otherwise we wouldn't have seen it. And people are praising it and they're excited about it and they're happy about it. So my thing is, why can't you break? the rules again to bring an outsider in the franchise to demonstrate having a person of color as the lead. And I don't mean black because I'm black. I'm talking it could be Indian. It could be Asian. I'm not going to count on Pablo because it was just such a disaster. Back in the day, they used to interview people as the lead. So why are we not doing that again? If you really want to

see a person of color in that role, then freaking start interviewing people because we can all admit that the system as is is absolutely not working. What do you mean interview people? Sorry, I just don't follow. So when they would bring people in as the lead, they didn't come from the past season necessarily. For the women they did, but for the men, they would interview people. They would interview

leads to come like the prince or whoever it is, and I feel like this is like, I didn't watch it back then, but these people weren't from somebody else's season when it came to The Bachelor. I'm into that. They interviewed candidates, and again, thank you, because you gave

me something to hang my hat on. Now that I've seen what you did with Christian, I know you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. And so I'm saying at this point, time is up. And I fully, fully expect to see a person of color as The Bachelor in season 25. I truly do because there's no excuse at this point. Because you've bent the rules too far in the Demi and Christian situation. I cannot argue with that. I completely agree. Listen. I feel like I could go on and on about my issues and what I think is the bigger issue and what I think should be done. But I feel like at this point, I've said my piece and I have to put a pin in it and I have to move on. Peter's the Bachelor.

Congratulations to Peter. And we have a lot more to talk about other than just who's the next Bachelor. Yeah, we absolutely do because Blake is here today. He is nervous. I saw him out in the hallway. He's like seriously shaking. But we have a lot to talk to him about. So we're going to do that in just a minute.

All right, shall we just jump in here? Let's do it. Talk about how we're all matching right now. How weird is it, you guys? All right, so for those of you who cannot see us right now, which is all of you, because this is a podcast, somehow Rachel, Blake and I all showed up wearing white t-shirts, pretty much the exact same white t-shirt and jeans. Crew white T's. Crew white T's.

Yeah, but we have different shades of jeans, ironically. But we all came. I think subconsciously, we all follow you, Allie, and we know. what your feed looks like and you're like you know what Ali's going to take a picture we want to make sure that we're on brand thank you but I also think it's the sign of a really good podcast that's what we're about to have that's right I like it

I wonder what it says about each of our personalities because of our shade of gene probably nothing I think it does mine are ripped up raggedy rough around the edges hello like what are yours mine are black they're kind of a little beat up faded black

is that how you're feeling right now a little bit up A little bruised? Say the least. Let's get into all of this. Where should we begin? I would say, let's just start with asking, how are you? I'm doing better. I'm doing good.

Yeah, I mean, it's been a rough summer, to say the least. It's been some low lows for sure. But I am doing better. Finally, see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that's something that I've been waiting for, kind of taking it day by day. And, yeah. So how dark has this tunnel gotten? Because we've talked about this on the podcast before is that this show, as amazing as it is, we all love to watch it.

Great love stories come out of it. There's also a lot of mental and emotional, I don't know, baggage. I don't even know how to say it, but just stuff that comes along with the show. And it can really take you to a dark place. Like, did you get there? Yeah, I mean, I was, you know, I'm not quite ready to talk about just how kind of low and dark. it got for me but um it was a little harder maybe for me too because coming off of beck of season i i kind of was there wasn't too much i didn't get too much hate you know too much hate coming

off beck of season so then to suddenly get as much as i i did right away um it was it was really hard and it's for me i'm really hard of myself sometimes not sometimes all the time um whether it was you know like school sports relationships i've just always been pretty hard of myself and i felt a lot of shame uh because i felt like i had disappointed a lot of people and I'd kind of let down a lot of people in my life. And so right when I got back from the show there in July, like before it even started, I was already kind of starting to go into that deep hole

of where I just didn't want to leave, you know, in my apartment because I felt like there were people out there, so many people out there that I disappointed. And so once I was able to kind of almost kind of forgive myself in a sense too, you know, like you didn't, you know, you didn't do anything too terrible. I was kind of able to get better, but it took a long time.

And I'm still working on it. Yeah, and I think what you're saying is really interesting. And you mentioned some things, and I'd like to go back, you know, maybe back to the beginning. When you said you came off Becca season, you were the guy, you know, I'll say it for you. Big fan, couldn't understand why Becca didn't pick you, was rooting for you, wanted you to find love and in the best way. But because you made it so far, you had like a full year off before you actually went to pay. Paradise. So do you think that that year off affected you coming into Paradise? Yeah, absolutely. And people asked me, you know, why didn't you do Paradise first time around? There was

no way I was ready. I mean, that basically started filming, you know, like right after the season it ended. So there was no way I was in a mind frame to go on that first Paradise. And I'm glad I didn't because I wouldn't have been there fully, you know. Yeah, that year was, I mean, a lot happens. When you go from, I was selling beer, you know, to like liquor stores and grocery stores. to suddenly kind of being thrust in the spotlight like I was. Yeah, it was kind of a crazy whirlwind of a year. And in a good way, in a good way, in a lot of good ways, to be honest. And I had there for a long time, I was like, you know, I don't know if I'm ever going to do Paradise.

Like, I just don't know, I just don't know. But I think in the back of my head, Paradise was kind of always looming a little bit. I really do. And so now that I'm done, like, and that's kind of gone. I think it's going to be a bit of a relief to not have it looming over my head. And so that'll be nice, you know, after this is finally finished. I guess when I ask you, did it affect you? I'm more so thinking because you were the guy.

You know, there's really no other way to say it than that's who you are. And you were placed on such a pedestal. And I mean, I even heard stories. I heard, you know, when all y'all went to Toronto for that event, I heard the girls were around the building. People were screaming your name. you and Jason and then you and Jason

before he got with Kalin you guys have you still have a bromance but it was like you were two guys just hitting the road and I know I've never shared this publicly

legit swear to God girls would DM me and ask me if I knew you so they could get in contact with you because they thought

that you were just such a great guy if I'm getting those DMs for somebody who hadn't even met you I can only imagine what you're getting and so I'm prefacing

that to say when I say Do you think that it affected you because of what we have learned, what happened right before Paradise? Do you think that maybe you got caught up in the world a bit? Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I mean, yeah, there was a – I mean, yeah, a lot of detention, to say the least. And it was a weird time for me because I had just come off of this heartbreak. And I did, in a way, like you said, hit the road, and I was distracting myself.

And I was kind of trying to fill that emptiness and that void with – you know, this attention and these, I mean, I was traveling like crazy, you know, going in a different city a couple times a week and, you know, doing these fun appearances. And it was fun, but at the same time, I didn't take a lot of time for myself. I didn't. And yeah, it definitely this last year leading into paradise, I lost myself a little bit. I did. And I had getting your heartbroken on national television, you know, in the public eye like that. I had a lot of insecurities. I did. And sometimes, you know, you try and be somebody, maybe I, well, I think I was somebody that I was trying to be somebody that I wasn't um because I had a lot of insecurities about

you know how I how I got my heart broken and how the way I was emotional um and so I think that that year I did I did I did kind of get distracted and I lost myself I did what do you mean by that uh I like I like I said I did it a lot what you hooked up a lot like what do you well I mean by that yeah I mean I wouldn't say like a ton you know it's not like I that's the thing is like this the stage coach weekend you know um there was like obviously that's like this huge thing and now people think that's how every weekend was for me you know and it wasn't but i mean i'm not going to sit here and act like there wasn't a lot of opportunities to go on dates like there more than obviously i've ever had and i did go on dates and i did try i think would be hypocritical of me if i was like yeah i want to find my person and then i just sit at home and i don't do anything you know or i don't go out there and actually try and meet people and so but yeah i definitely when i say i lost myself i guess i when you're getting that much attention um you let it kind of you You do. You build it up. You do. I can't. I know I'm not the first. And I know there's been others where you get that attention and you do feel almost invulnerable, I guess, in a sense, you know. And obviously I've learned from that and I learned I'm not. And so, yeah, this last year I've learned a lot. Yeah. I've learned a lot this last year. It goes to everybody's head a little bit. I will say a lot a bit. A lot of bit. It really does. And I think something he said. Including us, including me and you. Sure. And I think something that he said is key. He was trying to be somebody he wasn't.

You know, you're one person when you enter this world, and then your life changes. It is completely turned upside down in a way that, you know, I know Instagram wasn't around when you were on the show, Allie. And even for me, it's gotten even bigger since when I was on it. And I was on two years ago. It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. So I can't even imagine what that does to you when you've got people like me getting DMs to talk to you, to hook you. I could have hooked you up. You know what I mean?

My girlfriends are texting me asking me, do you know Blake? just because I'm in the Bachelor world. Well, I mean, I guess, so Bachelor Nation is a small world. And so coming off the show, there's obviously a lot of tension, but also it's, in a way, I mean, it's easier to get dates, but it's hard to actually meet somebody because you're not sure you can trust, you know. And so when people in Bachelor Nation, you know, this weird family we have in a way, you feel like you can't trust them. You have this, you know, this thing you've been through together. You have this common thing.

You can relate a lot. And so, yeah, I mean, I would go to these events. There would be a lot of Bachelors nation people there. And we would hit it off because we have this common ground to talk about. And so, yeah, I mean, it's, and I'm not the first, you know, date around in Bachelor Nation. And so. Absolutely not. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty common because, I mean, it's a lot of, you know, good-looking people.

We're all in common and we're all hanging out all the time. I mean, yeah, it's easy, I guess, to kind of like meet people within Bachelor nation. Yeah, and I think that there is a lot of crossover. And you do have, I remember when I was at just finished next season, and a producer said to me, listen, you're going to have all these people from past seasons sliding into your DMs and messaging you. And it's just a thing. It happens. It's just the first time we've seen it play out on an actual season.

Something you said that I think is interesting. And I think we can come back to it when we really get into the depths of this. But you said, Bachelor Nation is like this family. It's not a family. I do not. No, I'm dead ass serious. I don't consider it a family because family is blood. You're born into that and you can't help that.

I would describe Bachelor Nation more as a fraternity and a sorority. We all went through this one experience, it's crazy experience together, and it's something that we can all relate to because we've been through it, and it's such a select few. But we're definitely not family. And I think that you've learned that,

and we can speak to that as we really get into the depths of this. You have learned that these people aren't your fucking family, family and they're not your friends. Yes, you can curse on this podcast. I was going to ask that. They're not. And honestly, you learn it the hard way. But I want to get into, since, you know,

Allie was talking about relationships and there have been rumors out here. And, you know, like once one rumor starts, like all these other rumors start. But let's talk about the relationships we do know. You, and it came out during this season, but there's Christina, there's Kalin, and there's Hannah-Gy. And so I want you to describe, like, for the record, coming from you, what was your relationship with Christina?

What was your relationship with Kalin? And then what was your relationship with Hanagy pre-Paradise? Yeah. So, yeah, Christina, we started talking. It was basically right after my finale had aired. It was like that night, she had, like, tagged me. So I'd already been following her, and she had, like, tag me in her story. And I was just like, oh, thanks for the support or something like that.

And we slowly started talking. But honestly, she was like my bachelor. nation crush as like when I was like you know watching the family like she was the person I always thought she was gorgeous and really cool yeah very very much so she was like this crush I or this you know I'd always had this crush on her and so we had started talking and you know we she kind of helped me navigate this weird world too because she'd obviously been through it so she had kind of helped me navigate on what to expect and that kind of thing you know it's like somebody I could lean on um coming you know coming in this world and all of a sudden being with all this

attention all these weird endorsements and weird events and all that and so we did we got really close and I was I was really into Christina and we were really into each other and from about say September to the end of November roughly we were talking we were hanging out and unfortunately it just it didn't work out and a lot of that I put on myself I do I was busy I was doing an event every weekend and I just felt she was kind of like over it she's like I've been in this world I've did it for last year I'm over it and I'm like you know I'm this I'm in it I'm like right in the middle of it right now and I feel like I will maybe resent you if I decide like you know what I'm not

going to go to this event and blah blah and she's the cool thing back Christina was she was totally got it she was like I get it I've been doing I've done what you're doing right now but we decided you know I wasn't going to be able to give her what she wanted you know and so we decided not to to romantically talk anymore and we just decided to be friends and we were friends like very good friends for the last year like really really good friends and we talked all the time and like I said I leaned on her she leaned on me when she was having a bad day that kind of thing. And so, yeah, I mean, that was, and then maybe three times, I want to say, we did hook

up, you know, friends with benefits about three times over the last year from, like, November until, yeah, whenever that was April. So she, let me just make sure I'm understanding this correctly, she didn't necessarily feel you guys were a couple, an exclusive couple, but where it kind of went wrong for her, because obviously she was very upset with you when she first got to paradise was the stagecoats situation. So it wasn't really misleading her in the relationship. It was just that weekend. Yeah. And to be honest, Christina wasn't really... So that conversation was really long. It was like 45-minute conversation we had. And it was kind of chopped up and cut up. But she wasn't really

mad that I had... Because she knew that we were just friends. She wasn't really mad that I'd slept with somebody the next night. It was more of that I didn't tell her why. She felt like I owed her that. And she's right. It was very just... Like, we were such good friends that she felt disrespected that I didn't tell her right away that I had slept with Caitlin the next night. That was more it wasn't that I slept with somebody was that I didn't tell her she felt disrespect yeah so I think it's safe to say you guys are good like I've seen her comment on your social media like you guys are good

there's no really like weirdness there but I think where things get a little bit sticky still is Caitlin so what was your relationship with her yeah so I was with Colton and he was head facetimed Cassie give me months because I don't think the timelines add up so I want to like put everything together this was Roughly, so the first time I ever, like, it was on the FaceTime was, uh, the, like, roughly mid-December. I can't remember the exact date. December 2018, you guys.

Let's go. Um, so yeah, so we had, I was just with Colton, FaceTime Cassie, and I was with him. And of course, you know, Kaylin Cassie are our best friends. She popped in. I said hi. You know, it was one of those. Colton's like, Colton's like, Colton did. He, like, set us up.

It was one of those. It was like, you should have his number, blah, blah, that kind of thing. Started talking. Um, talked till about mid-March. I want to say March 8th is when it was kind of like, we did. didn't really talk, but we, we had talked to about mid-March, but it wasn't, like, it was very sporadically. Defined talking, because to her, it's FaceTiming three times a day.

We definitely didn't FaceTime three times a day. We did FaceTime. We did, but it was definitely not three times a day. How much was it? What? How much was it? I want to say we FaceTimed 12 times, probably. Total.

In that, like, what was that? Four months span? Yeah, 12, 15 times, yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. And you seemed confused, Allie, because that is not what Kaylin said. Yeah, that's not.

That is not what she said. 12, 15 times through the three months that we talked to. Can we get your phone records? No. I want the facts here. I'm learning from Rachel, lawyer Rachel. I want the facts. I guess within that, and I'm trying to establish a timeline

because like Ali said, this is where things get sticky. Did you watch Women Tell All on Colton's season? I did. And that's filmed about February. Yeah. Towards the end of February. And you guys were still communicating at this point. you get why I'm asking you that question

you watched it right and what we saw was how emotional Kaylin was about Colton and how the love that she had for him and how heartbroken she was and she was crying and as a viewer you felt that but according to what both of you guys are saying

even Caitlin says she had talked to you for a few months before stage coach so it's confusing as to why you have such, Kaylin had such tears in talking about Colton and how, and it seemed very present tense, but in the meantime, she's talking to you

and has some sort of connection. You know, for her, it seems like maybe it was deeper, but for you, it was more of like something casual, getting to know each other. What was, what were your thoughts when you watched Women Tell All and you saw that? Yeah, so, and yeah, I think you even kind of saw it on Colton's face

a little bit. I think he was kind of like taken aback by the way, because he knew that we were talking. I think you kind of saw it on Colton's face too He was kind of like, wait a minute Didn't they live together at that point? Didn't Cassie, Kaelin and Colton all lived together? Yeah. Basically, I think, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I just don't think that they had casted The Bachelorette at that point. No, that's very correct, yes, yeah. But everybody does that. Everybody does what? Auditions? What they did at the... Yeah, auditions at the men tell all, women tell all... Did you do anything like that?

I was the Bachelorette the day after I broke up with Nick and I broke up. Oh, I was too. I had a very different situation. But the audience didn't. No, like, you know, like I... But I had already been announced before the tell-all. Got it got, got it, got it. So it was, I had a very different situation.

So I don't know how I would have been. To be fair, I very well could have done the same thing. I don't know. But I think the point is, because we're trying to figure out this timeline and where things are, is that you seem taken aback by it. Colton seemed taken aback by it. It just, and that's, we talked about this, the timeline before on the podcast. It just didn't make sense.

that she's saying months ago, you guys were talking, and then I was like, wait a minute, tell all was in between then, stuff just didn't add up. Well, and that's why it was a little confusing for me too when she was, you know, because the whole time we were talking, she was in negotiations to be bachelor's and wanted to be bachelorette. And, you know, and she had kind of asked me if certain, because I was obviously in the running for bachelor.

And so she had asked me kind of certain things about the process and blah, blah, blah. So, like, we were open about that. She was, you know, we were talking, but it was like, if she gets a bachelorette, she's gone, you know. And so I guess that's what was like confusing to me is she wanted to be the Bachelorette and she was ready to just like leave and do that right away. But then all of a sudden, suddenly it's like this very serious and exclusive relationship. So that's where my confusion was. It was like why act how you did on Wimtall and the fact that you want to be Bachelorette.

But then you didn't get it and suddenly, you know, months later we were in this like very serious relationship. So that's where my confusion came in and why my face looks so shot. Okay. I don't mean to stop this conversation because I know it's all flowing. But we really need to take a quick break and we'll be back with Blake. in just a minute. All right, we are back and we're talking to Blake. So when was she, because that's very interesting to me,

that she's sitting there telling you in negotiations to be The Bachelorette. So basically saying like, hey, I'm not committing to you because I have this other thing going on. So when did she find out what she wasn't the Bachelorette? Do you know about what that time was? It's probably hard to remember. Yeah, I don't. But you can say March, because right panel was announced.

announced in March. Right. It was probably like before. It was right around this time. Yeah. Let's just say, give or take, March. Okay, so right around March. And then when was stagecoach?

The end of April. My birthday weekend. I always say, right of April. It's like April 21st, 22nd, and on there, and so. And it seemed pretty, well, I mean, I think we're going to get there to the text messages. But from what it seems like at that point, and we'll get there, but that you were basically telling her not to come over. So in between her finding out she's not the bachelorette and stagecoach happening,

which is about a month period, did you guys have a serious, relationship in that four-week period? No, no. I didn't talk to her basically the whole month of April. No, until, yeah, no. Until stagecoach. Three days before stagecoach, she texted me and asked, so Colton had reached out to me and said, you know, can Caitlin stay at our house?

Because I stayed with Colton. And I was like, I don't really feel comfortable, you know, with her staying there. Like, I don't want to like. Your house at stage coach. At stage coach, sorry, yes. And so she texted me three days before. I was like, you know, what's the big, like, I thought we were on good terms. Like, why can't I stay with you?

And I was like, you know, I was like, well, first of all, there's not like a ton of room and like I didn't want us to feel uncomfortable together staying in the same house so that was the next time we talked it was three days before stagecoach and the next stagecoach obviously but yeah okay I'm like you I want to get in like text messages later I think a lot

of people well wait let's get in a Hannah G right? Oh yeah we talked about her before we go to because like we are I don't know what happened to stagecox okay blah blah blah we'll get all that Hannah G I think I'm a little confused about that too. So, what was your relationship with Hannah G? And then, well, I'll let you answer that first. Go ahead. So, yeah, me and Hannah G had started talking. I want to say, gosh, I can't put

the April. So probably the beginning of April, maybe mid-April. And when I say talking, I'm like nothing like me and Caitlin, like very, like just, we had FaceTimed once. And it was like late right before, like, Paradise. So we don't even. And it was like. We never really, it was not like, I like you, it was very surface level talking. But y'all had met before. Got to say management, right? Oh, yes, yes. I'm sorry, yes, in person, yes.

We had met in person, yeah. We had started talking. Yeah, we met, well, actually, I met her at the Colton's finale. And I met Tasha Colton's finale, too, technically, like backstage. So, yeah, I mean, I had met her, seen her in person kind of thing, but we didn't really, really start talking until, like, yeah, in April, roughly. So what made you want to take the extreme move? to, because you could have had a cup of coffee with her, whatever.

You could have FaceTime with her. But you decided to book a plane ticket to Birmingham, Alabama, of all places, which isn't easy to get to, to have a conversation with her. And I believe you, when you say, you say on the finale, we just had a conversation, she says the same thing. Why did you want to do that? So basically, when I had told Hannah about stagecoach, the way kind of she reacted, kind of, I think, surprised maybe both of us.

And I was like, well, she was. like well she really likes me and like and then I felt it and I was like I really like her and I was like I have I've ruined this before it even began like I have messed this up before it could have even started and I was like in a way I was like panicking and I was like how can I just even you know make this right where we can start clean in paradise it was one of those it was like obviously like I've messed up and like I'm starting in the red I'm in the red so like how and I did it was like I booked it two hours you know and I was like I'm going the next day And I booked it, and I flew in, was in, literally in the city of Birmingham for maybe 12 hours.

And we were together maybe five or six of those. So it was just, it was like this panic of, I have messed this up before it even began. And I want a clean start. And in order to do that, I want to talk to her face to face before Paradise. I didn't want to have Paradise happen. And all of a sudden, it's like she's getting like all of this information on the beach on National Television. And she's just like, what the heck? Like, I wanted to start clean in Paradise.

So that makes sense to me, honestly. You're super into a girl. You tell her this thing. You're trying to be honest and up front with her. You're afraid of how she's reacting. Not that she reacted weird, but maybe she's being closed off. Or you're just, you're in your head on how she's reacting. And you want to make a romantic gesture and, like, make it right and fly across the country.

That makes sense to me. I think what doesn't make sense is you're saying, based on that, that you obviously were into her at that point. You thought we have a connection. So why when you got to paradise did you take Tasia on the day? Yeah. Yeah, that's the million dollar question. And that's, it's a weird question because Tasha's amazing. Don't get me wrong. Like, she's an incredible woman. So it's like, I bet nobody's ever been to have to be like, why would you go on to date with Tasia? But I was into Hannah. I think what's confusing maybe to viewers and who aren't in your situation is, okay, once you decided that you're going to take Tisha on the date, now what with Hannah G? Like, take us through your mindset. What were you thinking? Did you think, oh, I'll just be able to come back and talk to Hannah like it's nothing? Did you think that she wouldn't be affected by the decision that you made?

Did you think maybe she's a hot commodity out here on the beach? Someone else might swoop in. Like, what were your thoughts? Good question. I haven't really been asked that. So I grabbed Hannah and I told her, you know, listen, like, I'm taking Tasha on the date, but we have a very strong connection, one of those, you know. But I could see on her face that she was hurt.

she was confused and she was frustrated and I remember her walking away and I sat there for like a couple minutes like oh my god like what have I done kind of thing because I think in my gut like I knew you know I knew that it was gonna like Hannah was who I was probably going to pursue in paradise and so I didn't like I knew like she just said she was hot commodity and I knew I knew that Dylan was into her I did and I knew that Dylan would probably get a lot of time to talk to her and I don't want to say like I was so confident in this because I wasn't but I guess I You didn't think

Dylan was a threat I mean I thought he was the only other guy on the beach I did like if there's one guy on this beach it would be Dylan

like I didn't think he was a threat watching at the beginning I'm like she is not into him like I would have bet a lot of money that they wouldn't end up

I'm so glad they did they ended up turning out super cute but my question for you because sitting here listening to you talk about Hannah you obviously really were into her

I think that's very obvious do you kind of feel like she's the one that got away Um, that's so, you mean, well, in Paris, I mean, in general, I mean, like, are you looking at her in relationship, her relationship with Dylan and thinking that could have been me? No, see, I don't actually, because I think, I'm a huge believer in things happen for reason. And I think, like, Dylan and Hannah, when I saw them at the reunion, like, they're adorable. And, like, they really are. They're great for each other. They really, really are. And so, and even watching them while I was down there, one of the conversations I had with Hannah early on, because she was struggling that love triangle. that we were in. She was struggling. I told her, I said, listen, one of the things that hurt me when the, uh, in my season of the Bachelorette was Becca seemed to cry more over

Jason than me. And that kind of hurt. And I remember I actually sat down with Ben one day and told him that and he's like, man, like, it's a weird thing that final two because it's like the last heart that she had to break was yours. And then she could go and live like, you know, and do her thing and be in love and it was the last start she had to break. So it was a bit of a relief for her too and that's why maybe it wasn't quite as much of a reaction to her when she dumped you.

And so I sat when I talked to Hannah, I was like, listen, Hannah, I know this is really hard right now but what you got to remember is the moment that you give that rose to either one of us, you can go and actually enjoy paradise. Like you can go and actually have a good time in paradise

and build a relationship. And so when I didn't get that rose, I purposely ignored them. I just stayed away from, didn't make eye contact. I was like, you guys go do your thing. And then I was able to sit there and watch that relationship. And I was like, God, they are really, really good with each other. And they are really good for each other. And they, I mean, they were, like, they were in love pretty quick. And it was very evident. And it was like, like, you kind of forgot they were there a lot.

They were like, you kind of forgot. We did. We did. Yeah. And so it was just, yeah, so I'm a firm believer and everything happens for reason. So I think everything happened as messed up as it was. I think it happened for the, for the Hannah and Dylan love story. I do. I want to talk about Christina, too, because Rachel, I know you're really close with Christina. You're really good friends. I've always liked Christina. I know Christina from your bridal shower. Followed her on Instagram, thought she's great.

I don't know what it was, but something happened with Christina this season where I don't think she showed her best self. A lot of people think what you think. Yeah. And I mean, I think that was pretty evident in the reunion special. She was booed. And I was surprised by that when people booed her. Okay. I thought that was just me.

heard that. I heard it too. I don't remember her getting booed live. Like I was, she got booed and I have to say, I mean, I always say this, I blog about every episode and I've said throughout, I know Christina, I know she's a sweet girl, she's a cool girl. What is going on with her? Because this girl, what she is showing us is not the person that I know. Were you ever through this process upset with, obviously when she confronted you, you must have been pretty upset on that date. What made you guys stay friends throughout all of this? So a lot of, that thing They didn't even show my apology to Christina at that first row ceremony. Like I sat her down.

We apologize and everything was good. So I don't think a lot of people got to see how much we were kind of there for each other. And especially how much she was there for me throughout Paradise. And so I think that for some reason it just didn't get shown. And so she was always somebody who was kind of coming up to me and be like, you know, keep your head up. Like, you're not a horrible person. Like she was there. And so for some reason, our relationship just didn't really get shown a lot.

There was obviously a ton going on. And so, yeah, I mean, there at the end, we've always, like I said, been really good friends, obviously very sexually attracted to each other. She's gorgeous. And I got to the point where I was like, you know, what else do you need in a relationship? You know, it was like, we've never really been two feet in. We've never gone 100%. And so I was like, let's do this. You know, I was just like, let's do this thing. And it didn't work out. And I, there's no, I don't blame her at all for that, like at all. She, I was trying to be patient, you know, and I told her, I knew it would take her a while to get there. I knew I had made a lot of. mistakes um but yeah she just couldn't like she said she bear those feelings too deep and couldn't get there and i respect her for that for being honest with yeah i think that well one i guess i didn't understand why the viewers were so on christina um you know that's for another podcast because this is about you but um and maybe i'm biased because you know i do know her differently but i think you are a little bit biased but i didn't but i didn't i think just because here's a thing in bachelor nation If you don't talk sunshine and blue skies and you do anything off the straight path, people turn on you.

Like, Christina, what you have seen of her so far is one thing. And all of a sudden, she's being very blunt, like, hey, I'm just here to get a friendship rose. Hey, and people like, wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're breaking the rules. And all of the sudden, people start to deter. But that's neither here nor there. Oh, go ahead. It's interesting because that's the Christina I've always known.

I didn't really watch her on X's. I didn't know her in Paradise. So, like, the blunt Christina is the person. Yeah, I've always known. I think blunt is one thing, but I think she said things like, oh, no, no, honey. Like, just talk down on people at times. Is honey bad? Yeah.

Like, if I was like, if I was like, oh, no, no, honey, like when we're having a disagreement, that's, that's condescending. But check this out. That girl, what was her name? Caitlin. Caitlin. Okay. Caitlin comes up to her being totally fired up by Kaylan. Like, oh, girl, blah, blah, blah.

Christina's this. They're literally talking shit about Christina. Kaylin comes over and has this conversation with it like I thought the whole thing was stupid if I were Christina I wouldn't have even played into it to be honest with you I thought Caitlin never should have come over and even

said anything to her I thought it was messy for her and I wish Christina hadn't responded to it but I think Christina you could see the frustration like girl what are you doing why are you over here even talking to me about it and so I just think there's a nicer way to I don't think she was nice about it and that's the thing like Caitlin wasn't nice either coming over. And that's the thing. It's like, I don't, I don't agree.

Caitlin should have never, okay, we're digressing, but Caitlin should have never come over there. So back to, back to Christina. I do have a question about Christina. I just want to say, though, before we move on, my point in this is because I do know Christina. I do like Christina. I think she's blunt. And I do, like people were mad at her this season. And the reason she got booed or people have had that direction to her is because I feel like she didn't put her best self forward in some moments that were shown. That's what I'm saying. I think she's great. She didn't put a best foot forward. That's it. Let's move. Move on.

With Christina, I think watching the way you turned on Christina, I remember thinking, wow, Blake is really a hopeless romantic. And I saw it when I saw you say, Christina, she's been in front of me the entire time. And I thought, gosh, Blake really wants a relationship. He really wants, for lack of better words, a fairy tale situation. It was like you were almost forcing something that wasn't quite there because you won it so bad. And so my question to you is, Christina, y'all are good friends. She knows you well. She knows you better than we do.

And on a level that other people, viewers don't. Knowing that Christina knows all that about you, knowing that Christina knows what happened at stagecoach, knowing that Christina was on the beach with you and watched you navigate several relationships and really fight for Hannah-G and all of that. why would you think then that she would be so accepting to a relationship with you at that point? What I think she would be reset? So honestly, I didn't. So I remember the night where I had that Christina moment.

And I was actually going to go talk with somebody else. And I went up to the production. I was like, I can't. I was like, I need to go talk to Christina. I was like, I have to talk to her. Like there's something going on like inside me right now. I need to go talk to her. And I remember going up to her, didn't have anything planned.

it was just straight off i mean i think you could kind of see that i was like in my head too i was kind of panicking because i was like this is suddenly for me too this is weird and like i was so when i sat her down i didn't think and i told her if you don't see anything with me don't give me the rose you know i was like don't give me that rose if you don't see anything i will go home perfectly fine you know so i it was it wasn't like a popular thing to do i knew there was the girls on the beach were going to be like oh here you know blake thinks now it's christina like i knew it was going be an unpopular thing, but I had to do it anyway, and I wanted to do it anyway. Like, yeah.

I kind of felt like it was, did you just so badly want to have a relationship out of Paradise? Because it kind of seemed like a last ditch, like, I'm going to throw something at the wall and see what sticks. I know, I knew it was going to look like that. And I know it did. It did. It did. I know it did.

I think you called it a Hail Mary last week. Yeah. Yeah. And I know it was going to look like that. When I was down there, I knew it was going to look like that. But it was one of those things were like, I, in the moment, I was all in. I really was. I know it's so weird.

I know and like the way it looked, but it was one of those things where it was like, me and Christina, she cares about me. I care about her. We've never, ever been 100%.

And that's kind of my mindset at the time. And I have to commend you because I was doubtful. I mean, I called it a Hail Mary last week. I thought, I knew you were watching it. I was like,

he's such a hopeless romantic. But I was so proud of you when you didn't go on the date with Bree. I was scared. I was scared. I was like, oh, God, she's going to go on this day.

Poor Christy. I mean, saw, Christina was, like, struggling. I'm so proud of you for that. If we can give you a compliment. Thank you. I didn't need a one. I appreciate it.

Thank goodness. You did not. People would have reamed you. Oh, God, yeah. Well, and I never actually, like, thought about it. You know, like, it was great. It was great TV because I even was like, did I go on that day? I was like, because the way they were showing it, I was like, wait.

How do you feel about Christina now? Because I guess one thing that I did think, and I know I saw some comments from people who also thought this, is that, because you had such a rough beginning in paradise, like really rough. I really truly felt for you. Because I don't think you deserve everything that you got, not even a fraction. But that you maybe in the back of your head somewhere

might have thought if I get out of this paradise in a relationship, I'm going to save face. To be honest, no, because I knew that I was probably going to get even more hate by going after Christina. And I did. Like, if I had just gone home at that point, like that would have been the end of it. And then, but by staying, I knew I was going to get even more hate, which I did end up getting more hate with Christina.

So it wasn't necessarily about saving face. It was more about, oh, my God. Christina's, like I said, Christina's been here the whole time right in front of me. And, yeah. I think one thing people really want to know, because they know there was all this pre-Paradise thing. And even on the finale, I really felt you when you were like, I feel like I took away from people's paradise experience because I had had these relationships before and they carried into paradise. and, you know, I don't know how you didn't think that that wasn't going to affect Paradise, but that's neither here nor there.

But what truly, when you walked on that beach, what were your intentions for Paradise? What did you really want out of the whole thing? Because that has gotten lost in all the drama that is surrounded Paradise. Yeah, I was excited for Paradise. I really was. I was really excited to get out there another chance to, like, find somebody. And when I walked onto the beach, I was excited. excited about Hannah. I was. And I was excited, because I had such, as hard as the bachelor it was,

it was such an amazing experience for me. So going into Paradise, I thought it was going to be at least, you know, somewhat similar to that because I had such a good experience. I was like, oh my God, Paradise is going to be awesome too. Like, obviously it was way harder than I anticipated. But I was, I was super excited. I really was. I wanted to find somebody and I wanted a relationship and I wanted to leave there and be at that reunion and be able to sit on that couch with somebody. When is your birthday? April 22nd. You're a tourist too.

I am. Okay. I'm a tourist. I'm 21st. April 21st. I'd just like to understand people through their astrological signs. I'm sorry. So, given everything that happened, it was obvious.

It took a huge emotional toll on you. I mean, you were really beating yourself up in paradise. Why not just leave? Yeah, and I get asked that a lot. And for me, I didn't want. to give up on love like I didn't I am a bit of a hopeless romantic and there's a saying and it's it's one of my favorite and it's you know you're only two toxic relationships three mental breakdowns and one rock bottom from finding your

soulmate and like at that point I was like okay I've been through if I can get through this and I can still find somebody I was like this will all be worth it you know it's one of those like this is all going to be worth it you know and so I didn't want to give up on that and that's that's why I stayed after all you know after all of it because there was points where I was like, I should just leave. I should get out of here. But it was like, no, I'm going to stay. I'm not going to give up.

I'm not going to be a coward. I'm not going to run away from this. I'm going to own everything. And I'm going to continue to try and find somebody. Okay, Blake, I know today wasn't easy. And I just want to thank you so much for trusting us and being so honest and vulnerable with us. We really appreciate you coming out to talk with us and just telling your side of the story.

Yeah. And we're actually going to have you back next week because there is so much more to talk about. I feel like we really just skimmed the surface. and it was just too much to all fit into one podcast. So make sure you guys tune in to our next one too. And in the meantime, you can get all of the latest bachelor nation news on bachelornation.com right now. And we want to hear from you guys. I know, like, we want to hear the good and the bad.

We don't want to stop you from whatever it is that you want to say because we learn from it. And we're always open to constructive criticism. So tell us what you like and what you don't like about the show. And tell us what you want to hear more of. We're receptive to that. So you can email us at happy hour at bachelornation. or you can visit us at bachelornation.com and click podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast

and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers, and you still blew it.

The Puzzler. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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