Bachelor Happy Hour - EXCLUSIVE: Blake Horstmann Interview, Part 2

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

In part two of Blake’s interview with Rachel and Ali, he gets candid about his mental and emotional health following the fallout from his time on “Bachelor in Paradise.” Plus, find out what’s next for him. Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right.

To give you the answers and you still blitzers. The Puzzler. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they will, won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back.

Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys, welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Allie, and I'm here with Rachel. That's right. Hey, hey. So we aired the first half of our interview with Blake in our last podcast. But it was, there was so.

much to talk about. We could not fit it into one podcast. Yeah, it was really a big one. It was really in depth. But we had more questions. And we know you guys probably did too. So we really wanted to explore that. So we thank you so much for tuning in. But we have more today. We have our part two of our exclusive interview with Blake. Yeah. And I'm just so appreciative because Blake literally flew all the way to L.A. from Denver just to talk just to talk to us. Nobody else. This is a completely exclusive interview. You're not going to hear from Blake on any other podcast just right here on Bachelor Happy Hour. And I know, Rachel, like we both know, especially from last week, like, this is not easy for him. No, not at all. And to piggyback on that,

Blake's not the only one who flew out here. I flew out here. Just so we could all be here together. Thanks, guys. But I wanted Blake to be as comfortable as possible in talking to us. And I wanted him to see that we were here for him and that we were just trying to understand his side of the story. And so I'm happy to be here, truly excited to talk to him. And I know you are too, Allie. So right after this, we're going to have part two of our interview with Blake, so you guys don't go anywhere. I think where we want to start right now is with Kalin. And the reason being is that your description of your relationship with Kalin is drastically different than her description of your relationship. Why?

I mean, I think, and I kind of talked about this, and I think a lot of it has to do with some miscommunication, some real miscommunication, because I don't want to sit here and disregard her feelings, because if she felt she was really, really into me, but she just didn't communicate it, and, you know, and I didn't communicate with her, like, that's obviously why maybe it seems like we had a different idea of what our relationship was, because that's clearly something we should have done better, because I had no idea. You know, she was saying things. that I mean I had no idea she felt the way she did because of the things she was saying I'm going to stop you right there because she obviously didn't feel that strongly about you because she was trying to be the bachelorette

she was in conversations to be the bachelorette so I know right now Blake you're a nice guy and I can tell that just by sitting here with you I mean you know this podcast is just starting but we had the whole other one where we've talked to you for a while now you got to be a little pissed

right because she was trying to be the Bachelorette very openly to you about it. So you're thinking you're not into me. If you were really that into me, why would you be doing this? So what happened? I don't know. Honestly, I was angry. There's still a little anger in me. I don't try and hold on to anger because it's not good for anybody. But I was angry why all of a sudden, you know, she was saying one thing and then all of a sudden the second she got on camera, suddenly it was something else. And that's where my frustration kind of comes with that whole ordeal is you know she was saying it's people say you know when a girl says she's okay she's fine i think jordan said it on this that doesn't mean she's not and i get that

but at the same time like not only was i supposed to read her mind but i was supposed to ignore what she was actually saying and then read her mind you know it's like i i just wish we had communicated more and i'm not you're right like she wanted to be the bachelorette while we were talking and everything was fine leading right up to paradise like if she was mad at me like she had three months to do it you know She had three months to say something, and she didn't. And so that's where my frustration really comes from, I guess. Yeah, when she confronted you on the beach, after she had gone around the beach, she had talked about you and all of that stuff.

And then she finally came and said something to you. You could see the shock on your face. Oh, my gosh, yes. You're not an actor. Like, you're not. And the look on your face, it was like you were floored. And we talked about it on our podcast. On our podcast, we talked about it right here on Batsar Happy Hour,

and we talked about how, you know, you seemed so shocked and things just didn't add up. And I remember I was even saying, from what she's saying to what she's doing, it just doesn't add up. And we were all confused, like how could they have such different versions of what happened from that conversation?

And then the text messages came, right? I mean, we have to talk about it because it was an issue and I know you talked about it on the finale and I'll be honest watching the finale and watching you sit in the hot seat it was tough. It was tough to watch so I can only imagine how hard it was for you sitting there

and I know you've had to talk about this what seems like over and over again and I think what I don't want to ask the same questions that Chris Harrison asked we don't want to go there but one thing that was said from Kalin and I've actually heard this too is that you were talking or considering

about releasing these text messages from the moment you saw that episode air because it wasn't what you believed to be the truth. And you consulted with people, you talked to people, even the people who were actually involved, Caitlin herself. And Dean said you talked to him as well. So what made you ultimately say,

you know what, against what everybody else is saying? Because it seemed like everybody told you no. You said, yes. I'm going to release them. Yeah. So I think Caitlin used the word pre, or she used the word. She said premeditated. Yeah, premeditated.

So, yeah, Kaylin, you know, she used the word premeditated. And premeditated was just a fancy way of saying, you know, I thought really hard about it because I did. It was such a hard decision for me. That night when I released those text messages, I really was, I was breathing into a paper bag. Like, it was incredibly difficult for me. And a decision like that, you do reach out for advice and especially advice for people. who have been in situations like me and in bachelor nation and it what a lot of people they didn't even really say no don't do it they were like if you do this know what's the

consequences are that kind of thing like that's and I did reach out and some you know there were a few that were like you have like the thing she's saying like you have to do it like I don't see any other choice and so when people say you know why did you was premeditated or whatever I it was such a hard decision for me I wanted to reach out and I want to to talk to other people and I wanted to see if anybody else had any other ideas. I want to see if there was any other avenue I could take. And at the end of the day, as hard as it was, I felt like that was the only thing I could do to get truth, my truth out there. And because I, I didn't know a lot of the things she was saying when I was down there. Had I know she was saying

that I was silencing her and all these things, I would have addressed it on the beach with her. But I had no idea she was saying those things. And so when I watched it, I was shook. I was shocked. It was just, I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe she was saying the thing she was saying. You said in the reunion special, and I'm paraphrasing here, but something about if you hadn't released them, people wouldn't know the truth. Do you still feel that way? I mean, it's so hard to say because I don't, so when we were at the reunion and Kaylin was like, you know, I've made some mistakes, that kind of thing. I don't know necessarily if she would have said those things had I not done what I did. I think she maybe would have stuck to her guns.

Um, and I think with having, if I had just come to the reunion and been like, I have evidence, like, I, I don't think that would have been, that would have been an empty, you know, I don't think that would have done anything. I really don't because I don't think anybody would have believed me. But you don't think it was wrong? Listen, yes, releasing private information. She was wrong, but two wrongs don't make her right. But would you have known she was wrong had I not done what I did? But just because somebody is wrong doesn't make doing something wrong. Right. I see what you're saying, yeah, two, yeah, I know what you're saying.

But, like, you wouldn't have known that she did anything wrong unless I did what I did. Like, Two Wings would have made a right, but you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have known she did anything wrong. That's kind of the point I'm making is if you're going to say, Blake, you shouldn't have released those text messages or whatnot. You know, if people want to say, and I knew I was going to hate, and if you want to hate me, but then you also have to look at what the text message showed. And then you've got to say, well, Kaelin obviously, you know, did something wrong. Yeah. Oh, but I am not excusing Kailen. I do like Kailen for different ways.

I think Kailen is a girl who's learning about herself and continuing to learn about herself. And that's just a really nice way of saying she has some issues. She needs to work out. Let me say this, though. I do, I do. I am sorry. Like, I am sorry that it ended, like, it all ended it and it came to this. It came to, like, I am sorry.

When I release, one of the reasons I also release, or, sorry, deleted the text messages was, like, I said, I was having a complete breakdown. I was breathing into a paper bag. And all of a sudden, I took a step back and I was, I'm getting emotional. I was like, Kaelin is feeling this way right now, probably. And that killed me. And I was like, I can't believe I did what I'm feeling right now. I just did to somebody else. And that hurt and that sucked. And so that's why I did suddenly take the text messages down. And I did have, you know, a moment to step back from everything, be like, ah, what did I just do? I had, I did have that moment. And so that was hard. And I am sorry that it hurt her the way it did.

It is something that, you know, I wish it didn't come to that. I really do. I wish she didn't come to that. Shit, you're going to make me crack. I know, me too. Fuck, Blake. I mean, oh, God.

This is, who, okay, before I get emotional, look at us two tourists. It's just connecting on it. Okay. Can a Virgo get on this tourist love? I think, yeah, no, yes, you can. Okay, there you.

We get along well. I'm very sensitive, so I think people forget that, and sometimes I'm like, harsh. But I think what hurt when I was watching you sit in that chair is, listen, Ali and I agree on this. We don't agree with what you did, but it doesn't mean that I don't understand why you did it. Okay? There's a difference between that. I understand why you felt backed in a corner and you did what you did. What I have done it? Probably not, but I can understand

and why somebody would do that. The thing is, and this is a question that you posed to Allie, would Kailen have admitted her mistakes? Would she have come forward and said, hey, I lied, apologize the same way that she did on the reunion. I had an emotional reaction.

I overreacted, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Would she have done that? Probably not. And why do I say that? It's something that my dad always says. History has predictive value. And when you look at the history of Kailen, sometimes stuff just adds up

and you just kind of have to accept this is kind of who this person is from the pageant stuff to the comments that she was making on the bus it's like people keep saying that things that contradict what Kalin is saying and how many times do you have to start hearing people say that you're lying

before you acknowledge that this person really just has trouble telling the truth it's just it is what it is and I know people came so hard on me when I was talking about Kalin and maybe I could have phrased things nicely, but it's not that I'm not supporting women, as people said. I'm just not going to support bad behavior. And I believe in holding people accountable for the things that they do. And what

sucks for you, Blake, is when you release the text messages, and as you admitted, you violated her privacy, it was a little bit of a step lower than what she did. And it gave her the scapegoat to hide behind her pretty face and her tears and hang her hat on what you did in releasing the text messages. But the truth is, is that, you know, if you put, if I put myself in your shoes, and you put yourself in Blake's shoes, how would you feel if you knew the truth and somebody is out there lying? Not once, not twice, but multiple times to multiple people and you know you have this truth. Millions of people. Yeah, and millions, right. Sorry, on the beach, multiple. Once it aired, like you said, Allie, you're right. Millions of people. And you know,

your reputation is at stake and the same way that she said on the reunion she was emotional and so she had this huge reaction you were emotional Blake and you had this huge huge reaction again not saying it's right but people have to understand where you're coming from and speaking from personal experience I have had people in this franchise lie on me outright tell lies multiple people multiple times and I have evidence that could like vindicate me and I am labeled as a bitch while other people are labeled as an angel and it takes it's hard to not want to say actually you guys I'm not this way this is actually what happened and then you have to backtrack

and say who am I trying to prove myself to you know is it worth it to go there and I think you know that at this point like in hindsight is it safe to say you probably would have done it a little bit differently yeah no it is it is and it was

I don't want, so this, this is weird thing because you're saying like this emotional, like, I had this emotional reaction. And I did. And I knew, like, I was going to get a lot of hate and maybe, like, I wish there was another way. Like, I wish there would have been another way that I could have done it. And I, yeah, I mean, yeah. I think it was wrong. I definitely think it was wrong. But I don't know that I wouldn't have done it if I were in your shoes. And that's what a lot of people say. So that's the truth. So I do think it was wrong. But I think I'm human and I make mistakes. And I do things that are wrong sometimes. I can't imagine being in that moment, knowing what you were sitting on and just taking it. Like, I don't know. I just don't know if I would do that. But this is the thing. When is sharing private conversations, private text messages, okay? And what are they not okay? Because I'm just going to put this out there.

J.P.J. and Derek had a big thing on the season where supposedly Derek said that he slept with women that follow him on Instagram. And JPJ just told everybody and called them out that was a private conversation. Should JP.J not have brought up that conversation? because Derek didn't want to have that conversation in the public. Do you see what I mean? So it's like... But it's he said, she said. Blake showed that it's not he said, she said.

This is what it is. Okay, well, it's facts. This is what it is. So do we think it would have been better? I mean, I don't even know if it's worth it to go here, but like if you had just said what she said in the text messages rather than screenshoting them. I think if, and we actually think we said this, I don't remember if it actually aired on the podcast, but we talked about this. I think that if you would have waited, maybe to the reunion and to, you would have waited, maybe to the reunion and tried and kept giving her a chance to tell the truth. And then you said, Kalen, you know I have

these messages. We did talk about this. You know I have this. I'm going to ask you again. I'm begging you. I've waited. It's been weeks and I've waited for you to speak your truth. And you haven't yet. I think maybe, you know, but again, that's how it could have been. You should have called Rachel. Next time, call Rachel. But what I will say is when we ask the question, would Caitlin have said the truth, you know, would she have told the truth? To be honest, she had an opportunity because when that episode aired, she saw it, she knew it was going to happen, right? At that point, she could have gone to social media in some aspect or maybe even have texted you, Blake, and said, you know what, I lied, I'm going to say something on the reunion. You know what?

I wasn't truthful. I will address it in the reunion. Something, I overreacted. The same apology that she gave you at the finale at the reunion special she could have said something along those lines she didn't she sat silent and she hid behind what we saw on tv she hid behind for lack of better words her lies so again i don't agree with what you did but i understand the anger and the desperation that you felt in that moment especially when you were the guy and i really want you to speak to this because i don't think people get this you were the guy from beck of season you really didn't develop any hate, except for your dance moves, which I was joke with you about. You really didn't get, like, people weren't critical of you. You didn't, you hadn't experienced that

yet. And you went from one extreme to the other. And I'm sure that played into your mindset in how you also responded because you weren't prepared for it. You weren't used to it. So I want you to speak to that because I think that's the darker side of Bachelor Nation, that people, people don't really talk about yeah um i think i like the word you use kind of like i did feel desperate like i did feel some desperation because i yeah coming off back a season i didn't i didn't get a lot of hate i didn't and so i didn't really know how to deal with that um and for it to suddenly tsunami on me like that and it i it was a lot for me and you know no matter what we put on social media no matter what you know how we talk to people and we're saying we're saying we're

we feel all right, we feel good. Like, it does just take a little bit to completely make us feel like we are worthless. And in that moment, I felt so alone and so betrayed in a way, too. I honestly, not only Caitlin, but a lot of the people on that beach, too, because a lot of them had acted one way to me. And then when I saw it on the show, I saw that they were acting a different way on camera. instead of to my face. And so that was really hard for me. And feeling as alone as I did, I did feel a little bit desperate. And being the guy who wasn't getting a lot of hate to suddenly

everybody, like everybody hating me. Like at that point, there's no reason for anybody to to be on my side. Like none of my side was hurt. Like there was no reason for anybody to even kind of give me a break. And I get it, you know, from watching the show I get why you wouldn't give me a break. And so the amount of negativity and the hate and just all of that together, it can take, and I'm not the first person, it can take people into a very dark place and a very, a place that I pray that nobody else, you know, really has to be in because it can get really bad. Unfortunately, a lot of people on the show that get out of the hate go to that place. I know Jed did. Okay, Blake, we're not done talking to you yet, so don't go anywhere. We've got more coming up right after this.

I have to ask, so you spoke to her before releasing the text messages, be a text or phone, what was it? So actually, Dean at first had started, he texted me and was like, hey, I heard you might, you know, release text messages, something like, you know, think about that, like, think about, I wouldn't, you know, that's a different level of whatever, I can't remember exactly what he said. That's a different level of stoop, like you had to kind of stooping. And then all of a sudden I got a call from Kalin maybe about a half hour before. before I was going to release them. She called me, and she was like, you know, I kind of heard what you might do. She was like, so what was frustrating about me about that phone call was she didn't, she still didn't really apologize and she didn't take ownership.

It was a lot of the show edited me, that kind of thing. It was a lot of that. It was a lot of blaming on the show. And she's like, let me go on an interview and just, like, blame the show. And I was like, I can't, like, I can't trust you to do that. And if you think that the show is going to allow you to do that, you're wrong, you know. And that was basically how the conversation went. And then when I finally did, I was like, okay, I'm releasing.

I texted her. And, you know. That was not editing, I will just say. I mean, we heard the words come out of her mouth. And that's what I say, yeah. I was like, you went around each person on the beach. Let me blame the show and not take responsibility for my actions. What?

History has predictive value. Sometimes you just have to accept who people are. I am sorry. like it just time after time incident after incident it just really goes to show who somebody who they're what their true character is and I'm not saying people can't change and I get that maybe age and and and just getting caught up in this world can play into that but I was just going to say as much as like Caitlin I want to say too yes Caitlin's been through a lot and like as much as she is to blame I think you know that environment and her wanting to maybe get everybody to like her kind of thing and like I think there was a lot of variables that play into some of the things that she said and why she said it. Like, I don't think she's just like monster. Like, I don't think that. Yeah. Yes.

And I want to get that across. Like, I don't, yeah, none of us do. Like, I don't think I just think there was a lot that played into that. And maybe there was a little bit adding on some of it. But obviously, like the big accusation of me silencing her, that wasn't edited, clearly. None of us think she's a monster. Last week we talked about Dean. Like, I even said, I just think she desperately wants to be liked.

Like, she really has a hard time with people not liking her. So in this phone call that, had with her. She basically says, I'm going to do this thing. You say, no, I can't trust you to do that. Did you ever say, I mean, obviously hindsight's 2020. Like to think to say, get on Instagram story right now yourself and clear this up and I won't post them. Yeah, honestly, I didn't think of saying that. You know, maybe I should have asked that. Maybe I should have talked to her about that. But at the same time, I had somebody that, you know, the other day when it was happening, was like, why don't you just tell her you have the text messages and be like, if you don't go on

your stories, I'm going to release these. I'm like, that kind of sounds like blackmail. Like, you know, it's like, it's like, it's like this weird gray line where it's like, it's just the whole thing is just really hard. It is black man. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it is black. It's like, it's like, it was just such a hard situation. And I hope nobody else has, and is in a situation like that where they have to decide to do what I did. I think what was sad when I think of everything.

It's like, Ali just said, you know, Kaelin, we don't think that she's a bad person. I don't think that she's a monster. but Ali said she just so desperately wants to be liked. And then when I look at you releasing the text messages, it was you so desperately wanted people not necessarily to like you.

Yes, I think that that's a common denominator as well, but then you also just so desperately wanted to prove to people that you were telling the truth. And I think you have to sit there and ask yourself, who are you trying to prove this to? You know, the people who know you, know you. The people who are your inner circle

and who matter, matter. And the sad thing is is when you're in this world and you're in you're on such a public platform it's hard because you want people to know your truth and you want people to like you but at the end of the day and I think that this is the hard lesson that you have to learn and I think like you really can be a champion and speak towards this is that you're not going to you're not going to make everybody happy like Kanye West said it in a song it's like they'll hate you they'll love you and then they'll hate you again and I think that the more you try to prove yourself to these people you're always going to fell because you're not going to please everybody. I mean, look where you are

right now, right? Kind of in releasing the text messages, you were just trying, maybe subconsciously you were trying to please people, but you were also trying to speak your truth. And I think one thing in Bachelorson is the more that you do that, you're going to get lost in this world. You just have to know who you are. Otherwise, this world is going to eat you alive, spit you back out. But in the same breath, like, I've had a little bit of champagne, guys. This is Bachelor Happy Hour, so I'm not going to say this Right? But you know the legal terms, Rachel. What is it when, like, somebody publicly bashes you and then you can, like, sue them, right? Slander.

Slander. Like, I mean, essentially, that's what was going on. So I get, like, it's one thing for, like, to have some haters, but, like, you said it. Everybody was hating on you. So, but one thing I really, really, really want to talk about because one thing Kaylin said at the reunion was that you chose to show very specific screenshots of the conversation that, painted you in a certain light and her in a negative light. I don't even know if I want to ask this, because is this just making you do more of what we said you shouldn't do?

But what were you not showing? Like, what is she talking about? Was there another part of the conversation where she looked better? No. I mean, so I think what she was referring to was back from in January through March. Oh, like your relationship. Yeah, yeah. And I will be honest.

Like, there were, like, I was like, you know, it'd be so fun to like double date with Colton and Cassie. Like, I was saying those things. like I did like her like I did you know there was a crush definitely a crush there but at no point was I like oh we're in a relationship we're exclusive you know it was it was always there was always that like okay you might be bachelor's kind of thing so I think that was more what she was referring to as far as like stage coach night you know that those text messages no well I understand why you release those because that was the issue right like what was the point of issue not the entire few months you're not denying that it was that night at issue and K Cailen said it was exclusive. Kalyn led us to believe Ali that it was an exclusive relationship. And this is what I think people need to understand is, you know, when Allie and I have both received negativity when we do this podcast. Because what I think people forget is, as podcasters, you're opinionated.

And it's not just about a recap. It's not just about saying what everyone wants to hear. It's about having an opinion sticking to it and analyzing a situation. And I think what people felt to realize is sometimes we know things that we, don't necessarily can't tell all the information we know or the backstory. So if you're talking about a Jed or I'm talking about a Kalen, maybe we know something that you don't know. Maybe there's a little bit more to that backstory and that's why we have certain opinions that we have when it comes to certain people. But I think that if I'm going to spend a positive light on this, right?

You know, we talked about stagecoach, which Don't go next year. And not even because of the drama, just because it's like, I don't know if I could hear the word stagecoach again at this point. They need to pay you at this point because you have given them so much advertisement. For people who don't know, not even interested in country music, they're going to want to go to stagecoach so they can see Bachelor Nation, so maybe they can hook up with people.

I don't know, it sounds like it's a really great time. People watching sounds fantastic. You need to go to stagecoach. And report back. I think that the thing is, is from all of this, you're clearly sorry for what you did. And even Kalyn apologized on the reunion. She's sorry for what she did. So where do we go from this and how do we grow for this?

And I think that when Allie mentioned this on the podcast before, she was very concerned with you and your mental health and how you were doing. And is he okay? Because watching the video of you, not just you releasing the text message, but watching the video of you talking about it, you did not look like you were okay. And it was sad to watch. And I think something, you really have a platform to speak

to the deeper issue with all of this. Like we can talk about the surface level stagecoach hooking up with people, lies that we're told. But what's the underlying issue and how the public reacts to certain situations and how it affects real people? Yeah.

I mean, so that, yeah, that night that I released everything and I put that post up was obviously very rough and I decided I took, you know, I took a decision, I made a decision to step away from social media for, I mean, it's probably a month. I stepped away from it. And in doing that, I knew that, I mean, let's be honest, I probably lost maybe 200, 250,000 followers that I probably would have gained had I started been posting pictures the whole season. but I made a decision that I was going to step away because mentally I don't think I could have handled that honestly the hate that that probably would have been thrown at me and some of the DMs that were I was for sure getting and I think sometimes people forget that us on the show like we're real humans I think sometimes people watch the show think of us as characters and they asked for it they signed up for it yeah I get that a lot yeah and we still do you know and you kind of heard me when I was on the show say something to the fact of this is this is real life you know it's like when there's all these amazing love stories and marriages and families that come out of it that's all real but then when people have their lives torn apart suddenly like that's not you know it's just a show and that's not fake like that it's either all real or none of it is and that's that's something that that I want to like I hope the audience can kind of take from this is we are real people and that those DMs and those comments

they make a very big difference in our and a very big impact on our mental health and our and it's hard and I'm not the only one I've had since you know since the season's been going on I've had other people reach out to me from this season and ask how I've dealt with some things because they've been getting hate and they ask how I deal with it you know and so I hope that I can be that person in the future that can kind of help people through some of this because it's not easy. And no matter how perfect our pictures are on Instagram or how perfect the stories are and all of that,

like there are people out there that are struggling. And it just takes, you know, we are human. And it just takes a couple negative comments to get us back into that dark place that we sometimes find ourselves in. Yeah, I like that you say that too because I'm going to say this. But during our interview with Jed,

afterward, I sat down with him for a minute and he told me that he had gotten to such a dark place with all of the hate that he was getting that he almost checked himself into the hospital. Like he was really fearful for himself. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard to talk about because it was really hard of my family too.

And that night that I put the text message out there and stuff and my mom was on the phone. I was telling her, like, I need to go to a hospital. I can't breathe. Something's wrong. and there has been a couple times a season where I've checked myself into just like a walk-in so, you know, therapist

because it's hard sometimes to relate to when people ask how you're doing people will be like, you know, I've made a mistake in my life I talk about their mistake and I'm like, well, what is that then broadcast to a million people? You know, millions of people. And so sometimes it's really hard to relate to some people and so that's why I did reach out

to certain people in Bachelor Nation and that's why sometimes it's like for some reason there's this you know stigma around therapy and things, especially for men, but, like, it makes such a difference in the world, and it's, like, something I'm going to now move forward with. And, like, it's, there shouldn't be a stigma around it.

It helps so much. It's incredible, yeah. Do you feel like you've learned who your friends are, real friends? Yeah. Because you can be friendly with people in this Bachelor nation, but do you feel like you've learned who your real friends are, you know, through these dark times? Yeah, if there's one thing I can. I mean, there's a few things I can take this, but one of the big things I can take away from this is I found out really fast who my real friends are. And sometimes Bastronation, they'll say things privately.

I had a lot of people, especially people, you know, even people sitting in that panel at the reunion, they reach out and they said, you know, I probably would have done kind of what you said. Like, I probably would have done what you did. Like, I've never been in that position, but man, I don't know what I would do. But then, you know, in public, they don't. they aren't there for you and they don't they don't support you and real fast i found out who my real friends are and i won't forget like i you know i know who now i'm putting my energy into and the friendships i'm going to put my energy into because a lot of people not only in bachelor nation but in general you know i'm sure in real life too like if it doesn't

i think self-serving is the right word um if it doesn't help them in any way you know they often distance themselves and i had a lot of friends distance themselves um but i also had a lot Honestly, I'm closer than ever with. And yeah, I won't forget that for sure. You know, I have this notorious quote in Bastro Nation where I said, these Bastro Nation friendships are fickle and fleeting. And I wholeheartedly believe that to this day. I said that two years ago.

And I think that that still stands true. And I think that it's through the dark times because not everybody is against you. And I think it's through the dark times that you find out who your real friends are, whether that be in Battenation or just in the world. general. And those people really will go hard for you. And I will say that Allie and I are allies for you. Allie, ally. Are allies for you because as leads, listen, we've never been to paradise and we always joke. Thank God we ever there because it sounds crazy. But we know what it's like to be, you know, like put on a pedestal and out there for public display and we understand

it. You know, we can agree to disagree, but it doesn't mean that we don't understand you. And we are here to support you and whatever it is that you need because I think that sometimes it's popular to criticize you because that's the popular opinion. And so I just want you to know that you're not alone at all and you do have allies on this show. And whatever we can do to be supportive of you, not ally of everybody, so that's far between. But whatever we can do to be supportive. I think that your message is powerful. And I think that a lot of times people don't talk about the negative side of this. Like you said, you can hide behind an Instagram picture and a story or a favorable article. And people don't realize the pressure that you have about being in the

public eye. It is not all glitz and glamour. It is dark some days and it is lonely. And you really have a story, almost a testimony, but we're not in church. To talk about this. situation and I think that you really should use your platform to do that because there aren't enough of us and you said you've had people in bachelor nation come to you and say you know oh i understand but then they don't really support you publicly or oh can you help me with this situation how do you get through it you really have a platform and and you should use that and honestly it goes beyond bachelor nation just in general just in general yeah i'm i'm there's one thing i can take from this it's i've i've learned a lot regarding mental health and um self-help and all of that and

I do hope, I mean, you talking about Jed, right? They're like, that's, like, hearing that side of things, like, that's, I know what he felt. Like, I knew what he felt in that moment, you know? And so, yeah, I mean, it's definitely something that I plan on hopefully helping people in the future, for sure, absolutely. I think that what people don't understand is, you know, the hate that you've received and that other people may have received an abatination. Even you, Alan, you talk about it, just for talking, for siding with Jed, you know, and it was the unpopular opinion. What did side with Jed? I'm sorry.

I was wrong. I empathized. Sorry, sorry, sorry, correction, yes. For the same reason, I empathize with you right now. Yeah, you empathize,

and then people just attack you in a certain way, and it's almost they forget that we're real people. And what I need people to understand is the attacks aren't, I don't like what you said, you know,

and I'm going to give you a low rating on your podcast. I don't like what you said, Blake, and I'm going to unfollow you. The way people talk to us, it is ripping our character apart. It is questioning who we are as people. It is

death threats. It's you know, talking about our family at some time. My family got to get to DMs. And my mom was like, how can you raise a son like that? Like it got and when your family comes it changes, it changed everything for me and I was just like, yeah, it's hard.

Lots of death threats, lots of my mom, my grandma started getting to DMs at one point. I mean, grandma's off limits for sure. My grandma's on Instagram. Good for grandma. Yes. Yes. Yes, grandma, I want to follow your grandma. But isn't that sad?

People really forget, we are real. We're real people, this is our real life, and these are real stories. And you may not agree with every single thing that we do, but just because, Allie, you said it. Just because we've decided to put our lives for the public to see and we've decided to be vulnerable and open, you know, maybe to create good TV, maybe at a chance at love, whatever, it doesn't give you the excuse. to then rip us apart. It doesn't give you the excuse to have a community online that has a whole identity

to rip us apart and create hypotheticals and spoilers to talk about us. And I mean, it just, it blows my mind the time and effort people put on us bachelor contestants and just people in the public life period

to be mean. We didn't sign up for death threats. Yeah. And you know what? I know grandma did it. No way, Graham. This is a thing, and this just applies to life in general. People, like, it applies to life in general because it's never okay to speak to somebody

that way. It isn't. Like, there's a level of respect and grace. You have opinions. You can say your feelings and how you feel about things, but I think there's a level of respect for humanity, for human beings, for who they are, whether it's in your life, whether it's people you're watching on TV in general, and people can hide behind computer screens these days and you know I just hope everybody listening to this right now who's either driving in their

car or wherever you're listening to this like goes out there and like says something nice to somebody because you never know how that's going to affect somebody. I was just going to say that and as many bad DMs as I got like I got some incredible ones that I would screenshot and I when I was low I'd read them because there are good people out there and they it's complete strangers who would reach out to me like I know you know you know it'll you'll pass you're going to be okay we're on your side that kind of thing like those mean a lot too you know like as much as those negative ones can bring you down those good ones

can bring you up too so and I would encourage bachelor nation not I'm not talking about the fans I'm talking about the people who make this up the contestants the leads that are on this show stop doing things you know for likes and for clickbait and just

for public perception because as I said it's fickle and fleeting in six months there'll be a whole new batch of folks and you will be most likely forgotten of and what you did won't be remembered. It's like just be decent. Don't tell lies on people. Just, I just, a lot of the times I just don't understand what people are doing and why they do it and the motivation behind it. But just be you. Be aware of who you are. Just be real. Don't try to be another lead, another cast member. Don't try to create your

own storyline because you think that that'll get you to paradise or that'll get you. you the next deal. It's all fleeting. Just be decent. You are those people, the people you're talking about, you once were. You got the hate ones before. Try to remember that. I got to ask Blake, before, you know, we wrap things up, is there anything you would change? If you could go back, I mean, maybe you'd say stagecoach, I wouldn't have slept with one or another, but like not even that. I mean, like, going into paradise, is there anything you would change? It's, that's such a hard question because, like I said, I'm such a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. And like I said, like, take

and J.P.J., you know, Dylan and Hannah. And, like, Kaelin and Dean, like, it's hard to say I would change something because the three girls who were in the drama, you know, they're all left in relationships. And so it's really hard for me to say I would do something different because I think it worked out the way it was supposed to. As hard as it was for me and the hard it was for everybody down there, I think it worked out the way it was supposed to. I'm really thankful for this podcast because I feel like, yes, we got those unanswered questions that we needed for you to, you know, Yes, you're in the hot seat and you had a good 10 to 15 minutes that everyone was able to see in the reunion special.

But this gave you the opportunity to really expand on that, really be vulnerable and open and just have an honest conversation. And I think at the same time, it allowed you to talk about something that people are really afraid to talk about. The darker side of things and mental health. And I just want to say, like, for anyone else who is out there, Blake has been very open and honest about what it is that he's been going through, but we know he's not alone out there. So if it's you, if it's a friend, just someone you know out there that needs help, there are resources out there for you. And we want to give you one of those resources. And if you'll just log on to Suicide Prevention Lifeline.org, they can help you out with whatever it is that you need.

So you know that you're not alone out there. So make sure that if you're going through something, you reach out to them. Well, thank you for being here. Oh, thank you guys for having me. How do you feel? How do you feel? This is like therapy. Yeah, it does.

No, it's good conversation. We've been talking for a long time. I don't even notice how long. He's like, I got a flight to catch. Oh, he's like, get me out of here. But no, do you, how do you feel? I guess, because right now, this podcast has listened by hundreds of thousands of people listen to this podcast. Hey, hey, hey, we're popular.

Thanks for listening. Your message is going to get out there. Publications write about our podcast, us weekly, people magazine. They're going to write about this. Do you feel better? Do you feel like your message has gotten out there? And if not, is there anything else that you want to say? no i do i do i do feel like i there's a reason i was a little nervous i'll be honest i was a little nervous

coming to this podcast today because i didn't i was just in that hot seat on reunion and i know how it felt and i didn't i wanted to be sure that i can i could talk more about the dark side of things and the mental health of things and that's what i kind of wanted the most to come out of this podcast the most and so i think i did that and hopefully that gets across like you just said that gets across on this podcast and hopefully if it just stops one person from sending that nasty DM to a contestant. That's all I can ask. Everybody go to Blake's Instagram and give him a little love. Show him some love. Just, you know, give him a little like, a little double tab.

Yeah. And you know, while you're at it, follow me and Rachel too. Why not? Right. No, and this is the thing. This is what we said even when Jed was on the podcast is that the great thing about this podcast, and really, that's different from your conversation with Chris Harrison at the reunion is you get a chance. This is a complicated situation. It is not something that you can explain in five minutes, less than five minutes, you know? So, I heard you, I can tell looking at Rachel, she heard you, I hope everybody else heard you. You're a good person who made a few mistakes. Your mistakes do not define you. Nope.

And cheers to that. Shall we cheers? Everybody, this is happy hour. Shall we not? Wait, they're plastic. I was going to say, didn't clean. But we know it's up. Everybody, raise your glass to being open, honest, having

those tough, real hard conversations and just being kind to one another. That's right. Cheers to that. Man, that was great. I mean, I just feel like it was therapeutic for everybody. I'm so glad that Blake got to tell his side of the story. And we just really want to thank all of you for tuning into Bachelor Happy Hour.

And, of course, thank you, Blake, for sitting down with us. Yeah, no, truly, Blake, thank you. And thank you for sharing things that I'm sure are hard for him to talk about, especially knowing through what he went through mentally. And even that he said he's checked himself in to get help. and again there are resources out there for you if you need that as well but in the meantime we just thank you guys so much for listening we hope that this podcast helped you and maybe you can forward it on to somebody else and it can help them because it's deeper than bachelor nation it's much more rich than

that and you can get all of the latest bachelor nation news on bachelornation dot com right now we want to hear from you so tell us what you like what you don't like about the show i have a feeling this is going to be the one of the ones you like but tell us what you want to hear more of we'd be more than happy to do that. You can email us at happy hour at bachelornation.com, or you can visit us at bachelornation.com and click podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think

it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle.

The answer is, Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truethers believe in... I guess

they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They give you the answers, and you still blew it. The puzzler. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee?

for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.