Bachelor Happy Hour - Exclusive: Dotun & Charity, Happily Ever After — Part 1

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

Dotun and Charity are here! Today on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Joe and Serena sit down with the happy couple to celebrate their engagement and look back on how their final days in Fiji truly solidified them as meant to be. In part one of their conversation, Charity and Dotun discuss why Dotun was unfazed by Aaron B.’s dramatic return, why Charity is happy her parents withheld their opinions after meeting both men, and what their first conversation off-camera after getting engaged was really like.  Plus, Charity shares a hilarious story about Dotun’s grandma and then answers the question everyone wants to know: Why wasn’t Nehemiah in Fiji?! And don’t miss part two, which drops Thursday morning.  Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting. because your life is going to be full of them.

Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Happy Hour. This is a very special episode. I'm here with my lovely co-host and wife, Serena. Hello.

And the lovely couple themselves, Charity, and Dotten. What's up, guys? Hello. Hey, hey, what's going on, Joe, Serena? Welcome to our, this is. is our first live podcast. Yeah. I'm honored.

We're the first. Yeah. So I'm going to be fully transparent with everyone. I am training for the marathon. So I've been, I really haven't been drinking. Like I probably had about five drinks in the past two months. And last night, we went out with our friend Wells. And I had about seven old fashions.

And I am truly struggling today. But the question I want to ask is we have our wedding in two weeks. So should I start drinking a little more to prep for the wedding? I'm just going to stop you right there. Joe has in the last 60 seconds not asked you one question about yourselves. Thank you so much for coming on our podcast. Now we're going to ask you what we should do with our lives. And Joe should do about drinking in the marathon.

I also thought about this morning. I'm going to probably start my own podcast and name a Joe and just talk randomly for 30 minutes. That's me. I hear that live every single day. I'm going to veto that option. But let's pivot back to that couple of the moment. Charity and Dotten. Is that okay with you, Joe?

Yes, yes, yes. But to answer your question, I think that you should. So that you guys can have a full celebration and you're not struggling off. Thank you. I'm with you. I think you're right. I have to. I have to build up.

my tolerance. Yeah, so on that note, we should pop some champagne. Let's do it. Which we have right here. We should start Veldeo Joe's tolerance right now. And Charity, would you like to be honors? You're probably a professional at this at this point. I am surely done this plenty of times.

Yay. There we go. Champagne is popped. Your cut, please. Celebrations are in order. Dottin, would you like to make a toast? Yeah, I can do that. It was just, we don't have to actually. We don't have to get there.

Okay. Well, I'm going to be here, guys, and to be with y'all and some legends in the franchise and a toast to like love, you know, in all its forms and how we get there. And just excited for the future and what's to come for everybody. So, cheers to that. Beautiful. Lovely. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. 10 out of 10. I would have been like, ah, ball. That's how it sounds like.

That's how it sounds like. I know. Okay, so you guys are finally, you're out in the open. How does it feel? It is actually like, I keep saying every moment is a moment I prayed for, but truly like this. Just being like out and like doing normal things, it's like, it's so refreshing, but it's just like, I know it feels so right because I'm like with my person, but finally we're just free. So it feels good. It feels so good.

It's the moment that we've been talking about since we, like. left, Fiji really, just being like, you know, we're enjoying the in between and excited about it. But every, the more we got to know each other, the more we just wanted to be free and just wanted to do normal things and be normal. And so we're going to be, there's like a bit of grieving that we talked about like of like this chapter. It's been so unique and like hiding and like trying to be secretive. It's a little bit of excitement there, right? You guys know. But more than anything, we're so happy to like move forward and like embrace all the good thing that's going to And the challenges to you, right, that's going to come with it.

But I feel like we're really equipped and we're so happy just to like be in this position and be like, we made it. Yeah. One thing you can finally embrace is having charity as your screensaver shamelessly. Yes, yes, yes. I'm not even going to front. I have, she's been my screen saver like 90% of time. Maybe if I'm on the subway, I might change it real quicker or dim the screen. That's all I've been doing.

But now I can turn that brightness up and just let the world know. Don can like barely see his phone because it's bright. It is so loud so that no one sees those charity. Literally. So what was your first? I love asking couples this because I loved our first conversation. But what was your first conversation off camera after you got engaged? What was that?

What was that about? That's a great question. Do you remember? So I'm thinking like post-proposal. We were just in our feelings. We were like, we were having a moment. I don't know. Like it was just like it was so.

I think we were just, it was. us like this actually just happened and like he's just seriously such a sweetheart because the way he would just like I would just catch him just like in the corner and like sorry I'm putting you on blast but you would be like off in the corner but like every now and then like he would like look up and it was just like this like pure look of love and I was like what's going on I always like check in I was like what are you like thinking about and like we would just like recap like every single moment and like what we were feeling it was just so like high intensified emotions obviously say so we were just honestly just we kept recapping like everything that led us to the end of

proposal so i don't think there was a single like conversation that we can remember but it was more just a lot of quietness just because we were just like embracing it and being like this is so crazy like we're here we made it and what a crazy love story and so um there was an energy that was definitely like just like like relief but like powerful like you said and intense and so we're just kind of basking in that so i don't even have a conversation that was like a crazy love story and so i don't even have a conversation that was like, you know, this dude is crazy. Like, yo, this dude.

No, we didn't like do nothing like that, but we were just really just embracing like this, this journey, that part of the journey ending and the next one beginning and I think a lot of grateful, grateful feelings were in the air that night. Your fairy tale,

you kept, you kept saying the whole season, you're in a fairy tale. It almost got to the point when I was getting sick of it. No way. Joe, no, no, no. That loves,

that loves the fairy that he's in a fairy tale. He tells us. I actually love that. I actually love it. That's why I know I like you. Because if I watched it back to it and I did, that's what it sounds like. But like obviously they took it out like during recording. But like every single time I was going to say it, I would say, listen, I'm well aware that this sounds insane.

And I don't even believe in fairy tales. But like that's what this is becoming. That's what this is feeling like. Like that's what my heart was saying. And so, you know, they pretty much every single time, I maybe said it four times and you see it four times. every single time they caught it because obviously that's what they you know but that's what it was and i was so completely aware that that was like again like it sounds woo-woo and i'm very logic and i know she is too and so for both of us we were well aware that like it was not um it's a weird

thing to say and like to pretend because it sounds like fake almost you're like you're trying to pretend like this is what it is but um we're both the way like that's crazy but that's just what it was there was nothing wrong with it and our relationship was literally flawless from you know beginning to stop to the end and even now so truly that's so to set the record straight I'm with you there if I hear that when I hear it too I'm like but that's what it is I understood what you meant by it because it's such a crazy experience that there's not really like a word to describe how you're feeling when you're falling in love in that environment like I struggled with it too at times of like really being able to put my feelings into words of like how magical it feels so like

as much as fairy tale was like a cheesy word to use it's like you're searching for something that can really encompass what you're feeling and like I do think fairy tale lines up with like you're falling in love so fast in the most like insane way ever it just feels like so effortlessly it feels like beyond real like it feels like a fairy tale see I like this man you smart I don't take notes right I was just joking you guys really took this to the extreme that was a joke that you guys are both right But that's what it was because I was trying to find a word for so long to describe it. And I figured to come ahead, but I wanted to avoid it. I was like, that sounds so silly. Like it sounds like TV stuff, you know? But then eventually I had to settle on it because that's exactly what it was.

And yeah, so spot on with that analysis. Did you, Dotton, did you have any just like, did you think like should I get down on one knee or were you 100%? right because it is a bit no it's of course i think at the end of the show i think it's normal to be like i want to be with this person but an engagement is actually a really big thing am i really really ready for this um yeah there's so many layers to that question and um you know the the first one am i ready i knew i was ready right like i wouldn't don't think i would have embarked in this journey if i wasn't ready and looking for my person it's just that's going to be a hard thing to do to find that person. But then again, once I started meet this special lady here, it all

started to make sense. And by like week four or whatever, around that time, where our connection everybody took off. And I was like, I really could see her being my person. And it was stuff that I was seeing on camera, but off camera too, right, the little things. And I was like, that's the one right there. And so by the time that it came to Fiji, like, I really was ready. Of course, there's always doubt, like, not a psychopath. So, of course, you're like, this is fucking weird. This is not ever how I imagined it. And also, you probably understand that, like, it's hard to be successful leaving this, you know? And so then you think about that, too, you can go, like, man, like, is this really worth, like, everything that's going to come with it?

But the answer was actually pretty easy. And then especially on that last couple days, I was so sure. And that's all I wanted. And you can get very emotional about it. But, yeah, 100%. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face.

When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a really. result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you because it's easy to say like like go you go blank yourself right it's easy it's easy to just drink the extra beer it's easy to ignore to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier drinking is easier yelling screaming is easy complex problem solving meditating you know takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long time,

allow Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that. And that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on next question is no exception.

But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like I carry that weight. meet with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go.

I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. okay charity how about you um yeah i think um i talk about this a lot um i think initially starting all this i was like so dead set on engagement i was like yes like i want this to like in engagement like and it kind of sounds irrational a little bit of like i don't really care how it looks like it's just like the engagement was kind of like my focus at a point but then i was

like no no no let me take some steps back and like really like consider all factors here And so obviously once I like not to the point of where I was at in around like hometowns that obviously became so serious because at that point like I had developed really, really strong connections. But I was starting to waver or go on the fence of like, okay, like I could just leave in a relationship and like an engagement is like so serious. And it's like how how will I know like that the person or if I get to the end like I'm going to be so sure. But obviously like we just see like me and Dotton's love story from start. to finish. And there was never like a doubt that I knew that this man was also going to like choose me if that makes sense. So I felt so like reassured in that sense. But also I was like, okay, I do have the autonomy to be like, I don't have to get engaged. But I knew like if I left here. And yes, we could have dated or we could have just like been in a relationship. But it felt so right. It felt so sure. And like I can't even like put into words of what that feeling was like. it's just like you just know like you really and that saying is so cliche but you truly just know

and so yeah I guess that essentially I don't know if that makes sense but like helped me get to the point of where I was able to just make that decision of like yeah like I can follow through with this and be okay and confident my decision nice I like that let's take it back to the episode so starting from the top we're going to do a little recap breakdown with you guys so the One of the first things we see is the rose ceremony. So first we see Joey Walken, then we see Doughton walk in, and then we see Aaron B. walking. I don't know how you and Joey Dotten just stood there and didn't look and be like, what is going on right now? No, we talked about that actually so much.

Because obviously, like, I didn't have any time between that to like talk to them and like, check in after the whole like Xavier situation so um I think it was it wasn't until after proposal actually where we like got to talk about that and bring it up I was like what was going through your mind when you saw air walk in and it wasn't Xavier and he was like please tell him like you're like hey what's that like he was so calm because I think at that point he was just unbothered by like all this shit that like you know goes on behind the scene and you do become a little desensitized to it when crazy things are always happening you're like here's another whatever right but i think obviously he was able to tell me

because i wasn't i hadn't walked in yet but he was like i think joey obviously had a little bit more of like what the fuck he kept cutting to shots of joey like looking over and then looking back and then looking over like he was like you could tell in his eyes he's like am i like did i just black out yeah yes but he was chill like don't's just looking straight ahead like hey man what's Like, wait for my going to walk it? No, I mean, so this started a while ago. I mean, after the whole Braden stuff happened and see that whole debacle and that mess, I was just like, okay, like anything's possible. Like, I just got over like that type of stuff happening, you know, like for me, this journey is kind of serious, not kind of it is and like trying to, you know, find love.

And so I just was prepared for anything and everything. They could have done anything out, just been like whatever. And so I remember standing there with Joey, and then all of a sudden, like, of course you're expecting Xavier, but then Aaron comes. And then I just looked to my left. I just paddle on the back. I said, good to see you. Boy, glad to have here. Don't know what happened, but I wish you the best.

And I think Joey did like a double take. And then he was like, he was like, oh, he was like, I was tripping. But then when I saw you, I was like, okay, everything's fine. I was like, yeah, I always think about how I would have handled it if I was in their shoes. I would have definitely given, like, a Joey reaction time. I was like a joke on. Oh, me too. I probably wouldn't have been like, is anyone going to talk about the fact that we're missing someone and we gain someone now?

I was like, it'll come out at some point. I'll learn about it. But right now, just focus on getting this rose and moving on. And then minutes later, it was like, bye, get to see you. Yeah, literally. I mean, a quick turnaround. Well, did he, did he stand the chance at coming back? I'll be honest.

I like to think that maybe something. something magical could have happened or something miraculous. Maybe if he was more of a fairy tale guy. Maybe. He wasn't enough fairy tale. Too much real, not enough fairy tale. Perhaps. But I think it was like I gave myself like the hope of like, okay, giving that room for

anything to happen. But in the back of my mind, no. If I can just be honest. Like I, part of me like also just wanted to respect the fact that. that he came back. Like he came back. So I was like, okay, let's see. And like, obviously, I talked about it a lot of where I was like, I felt like if we had

more time, then I probably would have gotten there. So, like, that was the one thing I don't want to leave like that situation with, I'm wondering what if, like, if we didn't have another conversation or if we could have had like, I don't know, 20 minute or whatever. So I wanted to give him that. But then after, like, obviously we had like a little date, I just felt like, okay, I did make the right decision. So I did get that, like, confirmation that, like, confirmation that.

yes, no, he's not my person and he wasn't going to get to where I was at at that point with, um, with Dot and Joey. Yeah. And I think that was obvious to an extent because when you first said goodbye to him after hometowns, it was a very emotional breakup. Whereas the second time, there just felt like a lot more like peace in your heart about it and like certainty. And I think he like he must have been understanding of the fact that like he has, you know, a lot of catching up to do at this point. So then we finished the rose ceremony and we move on to family time. Tell us how it was meeting the fam and seeing your family for the first time.

Yeah. Obviously seeing my family for the first time, which Joey was the first one. Yes. It was just obviously so many emotions. I think I was definitely a lot like more bubblier that day just because it's like it's the first time I'm seeing my parents. parents again and it's been this much time. So I was like so excited, but also in the back of my head, I'm like extremely nervous. Like I don't know like how it's going to go. I don't know like what their thoughts or perceptions are going to be of each of the guys at that point. But obviously like my family is very understanding and I think they know like me to my core well enough to be like, okay, like it makes sense why these are like the last two or the remaining guys here. But obviously like it gets to the point where we see like I am overcome.

home with so many emotions because if I can explain myself or make sense of where I was at, my headspace was at in that moment, it's obviously like we're a week out or a couple of days out, not even a couple of days out from proposal. And as you know, in just this bachelor role or environment, anything can change in a matter of like a day or just like not even a day, like a couple of minutes, which is insane to say, but it's the truth. But for me, I think I let my emotions kind of take over, which I felt a little not in control as much as I would have liked to have been over my emotions. So that's where you see like the intense conversations with my mom of like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And it's like I kind of am like having like an

internal freak out. And then that's obviously referencing back to the conversation of like, do you want to leave here engaged? Like I started contemplate all of that and be like, is this actually something I really want? But it's like, no, I knew in my heart of heart. It's like what I wanted to do. And probably at that point, honestly, like who it was going to be. But it was also. just coming to terms with, like, I'm going to also have to, like, say goodbye to someone. So all of those things were going through my head. And I was just really, like, hoping to get that, like, I guess, peace from my family or just, like, that help to, like, help me kind of get to that point.

But my mom is just a very firm, firm woman. Yeah, she's a firm woman. She's like, no, you know what to do. Get in there and do it. I'm like, yes, ma'am. So it makes sense because to make that final decision, it's like, there's got to be some relief with like, okay, I am not contemplating anymore. I've made the decision. But you have to accept that when you make that decision, you're accepting both like finding the greatest joy

and also, okay, I've made the decision that I'm also now going to have to accept. I'm going to have this pain. And that is official now. Exactly. Do you looking back, wish that your mom had answered your question of who do you think I should end up with or been more specific? Are you glad? I think what she did personally think that was the right moment. I think I, in that moment of where I was at with my emotions, I think I would have been too easily, like, swayed or just been like, because I was so caught up, like, anything that would have just, like, given me some sort of. someone tell me what to do so I can be out of this. And then if had I done that and not like granted, I don't know what her answer would have been, but like if she had said, you know, the opposite of who I'm here with. Like, not saying that that's what led me to choose the other person,

but it's like I don't think, I think I would have held resentment had I like not actually worked all the way through that on my own rather than just like becoming super dependent on like my family's like choice or answer for whatever reasons. And no matter who you picked, you might have always wondered, like, did I make this decision on my own? On my own, or was it influenced in any way? Correct. So I'm, I mean, love my parents, love my sister, who they were all there and all gave their opinions.

But I am so glad that I did actually just like, and I respect my mom so much for that because she didn't have to. She could have easily been like, yeah, pick this one or pick, you know, pick that. But she did. She was like, no, you know. Yes. As someone who is very, I'm quite indecisive and I struggle with it. And I'm very close with my mom.

I have had that exact conversation And many times in my life with my mom We're like, please just tell me what to do I'm so tired of not knowing what to do And she's like, you're going to feel better once you make a decision You know what decision you have to make And just because it's hard doesn't mean I'm going to do it for you. Exactly.

So I, yeah, I was like this I'm having deja food This whole situation feels so familiar to me As an indecisive girl with a mom who would respond exactly the same. Exactly. I'm Dr. Scott Barry. Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone

in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adapted strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say like, like go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats,

have for a very long time allowed Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that. And that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on next question is no exception.

But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship.

I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten. Monica Patton, Elaine Welter-off. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot.

Listen to these women and more on She Pivots now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think our listeners probably want to know this. Where was your brother? I was waiting for him to be undercover again. Shout out to Myanmar. We missed you. So obviously we know he has two daytime jobs, I guess. So he's a pediatric dentist, but does theater on the side.

So this man decided to just take on a show in the middle of me filming. And I was like, I don't know if this is going to be smart because you might have a show time towards the end. He was like, no, no, no, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. lo of the whole it was the actual last show um and i was like can like the understudy just stepped in for the last like finale i don't know so you could be in fiji and he just couldn't make it so he had a show um during that time so that's why he wasn't there but did you have any interactions gotten with miyah when he was undercover night one i think i was one of the people who

had the most interaction no way people get something they kept to go grab a drink outside for whatever reason. And obviously, I didn't know. So I talked to him a lot. She fucked your brother a lot. Right. But obviously, I didn't know anything. I just thought it was like, it was clear there was a disguise. Some of the guys were like, didn't even know it was a fake mustache. I was like, you don't need help. But it was clear as a disguise. But he just, that's a red flag. That's a red flag that those guys didn't pick up on the fact that it was a fake mustache. Forget about her. I'm like, that's a red flag for me. I'm just kidding,

love you boys. But no, he was also like, just had great energy and there was something familiar about him but which was now revealed like because I'd seen him on the show but um there was yeah before that it was just totally totally like like this is the chatty as bartender this whole show but it's L.A so I'm thinking just want to be actor like that's all you're yeah I mean that's what I was really what I would have thought I was like he's trying to make it like I wish you the best but he was actually a cool dude and like he was like really smiley and I was I just weren't to hang out with them. I know the guys very well, but bartenders are always, you can always

confide in them. So I talk to him a lot at night and you'll see us like that way. What do you about? No, nothing. I mean, talking about you. Okay. There is a right answer and it's just. Hi, charity. How awesome she is. No, no. Um, yeah, obviously, it was probably about you to some extent. Um, but then I hadn't talked to you that night. Did he ask you anything? I'm sorry. I'm like taking it over. No, no. Did he ask? Because we actually, I mean, we talked about it a little but like I don't think of yeah not a lot did he ask you anything that kind of threw you off like that where you felt like he was like you know prying to see like who's like a good guy he did no you did a good job of like keeping it feel natural and like I said just like an

LA guy just trying to make it and just like having conversation happy to be there that's what I felt so and you also you you don't know what's going on like you're in this house for the first day experience all this and you're just like whatever yeah you're not going to be like this guy's obviously a plan I would never even cross my mind no I'm never never Yeah, I think I'd just watch some episodes like in the hotel right, right before, right? And before we started filming. And so that was it. That's all I had to go off of.

And so I had no idea what to expect. So I just thought it was just a normal bartender. But the conversations were great and some of them were kind of around her. And I was just like, I haven't talked to her, but she seems great. And, you know, I hope, you know, I told him kind of like the events that led me there. I think that's one of the things I did talk about was like somehow life led me here. And I'm hoping that she's great. And so it's the thing about that conversation, it's like full circle in the sense, you know.

So you got to meet your future brother-in-law before meeting Charity or chatting with Charity. So insane to think about it. Like I knew him way more. I did Charity. Probably for like a good two, three weeks. No, literally. He's like, Charity's great. But like, where isn't he a month?

Where's the boy? The real reason I'm here, baby. The real reason. No. So then walk us through how it was meeting the rest of Charity's family then. Couldn't have been a better family, like, reminding me so much of my own family. Were you nervous going into that, going into that? Or were you?

Yeah, like, always, of course, there's a bit of nerve, like out of respect for meeting someone's family, right? That you should probably have. I'd be concerned if I didn't. But I also felt so strong about her that I wasn't. I was like, y'all just going to see and feel how I feel about her, like, regardless. And so, like, I didn't go in there with, like, there's no game plan. It's just go there. I'm just going to confess, like, what she means to me and express to.

her, to them, what I've expressed to her throughout that experience. So a little bit of nerves in terms of like meeting parents and you hope they, but I was like, I'm just going to put my heart out. And I know I care about their daughter and sister. So hopefully they see it. Yeah. No, you guys both have incredible families. How has it been like now?

Have you guys like hung out with the fam? So it's like obviously like no. Like we've like face timed and like they're all like obviously on different coasts of the United States. But we have FaceTime, but obviously, like, we are just anticipating, like, that moment of where, like, we're just all together and just happy. No, her family is really like my family. Like, they just, they be cutting up and, like, joking and roasting and it's, it's, but there's a lot of love there. And, like, it's beautiful.

So, like, we both just been waiting. Like, I love her brother. Yeah. She's like, give me away. And she was my sister. I'm like, give me away. So it's a perfect dynamic and where I think everything's going to balance out pretty well. I was dying, Charterday, because, like I said, your mom reminds me of my mom in a way.

But your dad also reminded me so much of my dad when he was like, you know, as long as he can talk about sports, like, we can definitely get along. And I was like, I really hope God's a sports guy. It's insane because I'm like, when I ask my dad, I'm like, please just like be serious for this. And he's like, no, I am. I'm like, that is not like, can we get a deeper question? Like, determine whether or not like this is going to work out. He's like, sports.

He's like, that's my time. He's like, that's my top program charity. I know what not might be yours. Which I warned him. I literally warned him. She did. Mervated, like, exactly what my dad did. Like, they are just so predictable.

And I love them. But I was like, my dad's probably going to talk about sports or just ask you, like, they have an athlete or something. And it's just a typical, like, dad thing. But, yeah. It's very dad of him. Are you a sports guy gotten? Honestly, no.

Like, I played sports. Red flag for the dad. I'm not literally. I got to get a dog. No, I don't. Honestly, I don't really watch sports. It's like I love to play them. I'll go out in the field and be a part of it.

Watching it, I used to. I just died down too busy these days. But I'll watch it like, you know, if there's any event going on, that kind of thing. Don't worry. I bet. Her dad did not disappoint, though. But I love that guy. So we loved watching you meet Charity's Family Dotten,

but we also loved watching Charity meet your family. And your grandmother specifically stole the show. So we have to ask, how is she doing? How's the fam? All the famous went to her head and she's become a monster. No, I'm kidding. No, no, Diva Grandma. No, no.

She's totally kidding. Grandma, Tammy Tyler, is doing great. She's happy. She's just happy about this more than anything. And so, yeah, she's doing great, you know. She's just excited and, like, she was already a bachelor fan. I didn't know. She loved a bachelor fan.

Oh, really? Can me please tell her about what she thought when she used to get, like, Bachelorette notifications on her phone. Please tell them. That's the curious thing. Wait, wait, what? Your sister was telling you that. Help.

Okay. Well, she's like a super fan. Yeah, she would get like notification, but she would think that it was like me texting her. Wait, what do you mean? Oh, yeah. Like, it was so cute when I was like, about to fall over when she said that.

I was like, there's no way. But like she would get, I guess it was either, it must have been Facebook. I have no idea what app it was. But like, when she would get like, I guess she has it set for like just anything that's Bachelorette related. she would like interpret the notification as like a message from you like it was like oh my gosh so grandma thinks your best friend

because we are we are best friends so yeah it's like i was like that's a good that is so cute and then any more gifts from mom coming your way um she has some sort i'm sure i'm sure she will yeah like that lady always comes with gifts and they're always a mix of amazing and embarrassing I love it. It's entertainment. I look forward to whatever she has next in store for charity. I can't wait to hear what the engagement gift is. That was great. That was great.

Yes, okay. We're going to get, we want to get more into your engagement and just how's life now. But we're going to end this part of the episode right here. So hopefully you guys come back and tune in because we will release the second part on Thursday. Thank you for listening and bye. Bye, you. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you.

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