Bachelor Happy Hour - EXCLUSIVE: Kat Is Doing the Best She Can

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

Kat has seen your comments and heard your thoughts, so today on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” “Bachelor in Paradise’s” most talked-about beachgoer sits down with Joe and Serena to discuss it all.   Throughout the interview, Kat looks back on everything that has gone down in “Paradise” so far and shares her side of the story (not at max volume). She reveals what kinds of conversations she and Brayden had about their future those first few days in “Paradise,” why Tanner going on a date with Davia was especially hurtful, and why she didn’t feel bad pursuing John Henry while he was still involved with Olivia.   She also responds to viewers labeling her a hypocrite, acknowledges that her ego sometimes gets the best of her, explains why she’s grateful to have girlfriends who check her when she needs it, and so much more. Listen now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier.

Complex problem solving. Takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves. to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back.

Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour. I'm Joe. And I'm Serena. And we are here with none other than the TV maker herself, Kat. Cat.

Cat from Bachelor in Paradise. Cat, how are you? Welcome to Happy Hour. Hello. Thank you for having me. How's it going? It's going. You mentioned, you mentioned right before you hop on, you're anxious. Are you anxious for this?

Very. It's been a role win of emotions the last couple of weeks. But, yeah, most of it is anxiety driven for sure. Okay, so we just, we actually, we also interviewed Jess. Oh, fine. And I asked her, yeah, yeah, I asked her this question, which I will ask you, going into Paradise, what were you looking for in? a partner we're starting right off okay let's go um i would say my biggest thing that i'm looking for when i was going into this is just like someone i can be you know someone that can be person that you're

in a relationship with but like even it hasn't changed in that zack season i do want a best friend and like a partner i can do life with outside of just the romanticness behind it so that was the biggest thing was just to find like a person to lean on and do life with that i I didn't know what was your, yeah. And what was your dating history prior to even going on Zach's season? You know, it's the usual 20s dating history. You know, I had a few serious boyfriends. I had a few not so serious boyfriends.

Definitely a lot of lessons learned throughout all of it. But going into even Zach's season in Paradise, I really hadn't dated so much. I was mostly just spending time with myself and my studies. and focusing on, like, moving and stuff because they wanted to get out of Florida. But I would say it was the most average common dating history you can think of of a girl in her 20s.

Cool. All right. So, like, mixed bag. You know, we've got like the casuals. We got the serious ones. And now we're looking for the line. There we go. Like that. Yeah. So you go down to Paradise.

You are rocking your greens at who are you hoping to see when you get down there and then once you get down who are the people that are like catch in your eye i was going down expecting and hoping to see tanner from charity season and tyler and then i was always open to just whatever like like a wildcard i guess so i wasn't really going in with expectations there's always that hope but i also went in knowing that they might not like them so those are just really the only people that i like knew of um and like i could like put a face to the name kind of thing but

generally there wasn't too many people that were really like catching my eye that first day and I came in a little bit later I would say that you know Blake is obviously very attracted he was one of the guys I was like you know getting drawn to and then Braden eventually but I was really just like trying to get to know everybody so it wasn't like an initial spark on anyone that first day totally this is not like a trap question even though it may sound like one Even though it may sound like, were you talking to any guys before the show, like DMs, having any, like, casual conversations? Or even, like, we saw, like, Kylie, like, had her little, like, emoji moment with Avin. Like, anything where you were like, ooh, I think this person might be into me.

Yeah. Or, like, word on the street. I wish I had talked to people. Like, I, if I could do this all over again, I would be literally texting them and talking to them being like, let's make this not be awkward when we meet. But unfortunately. No, cat. It would have been so great because I, no, please, but no, I was. It would have been so great.

Says no history from this franchise ever. But it just still, it would have like ease the nerves or, you know, whatever. And then I didn't want to because I wanted it to be natural. But the really only thing that happened, like me and Tyler followed each other on Instagram and me and Tanner followed each other in Instagram. So that was like kind of our like, okay, I see you. I know who you are kind of thing. because I was really intentional with who I followed. Sean was one of my friends from Tampa because we had mutual friends.

So I had been like his kind of confidant coming off the show to kind of help him navigate what was going on after charity season. But that was platonic and he knew that. I made it very clear. I did. He actually did say when he was on the podcast, he was like, Kat is a good friend of mine. Yeah, I mean, but I was like, I'm not going on this season and like people like putting

that together because we talked as friends. And it's like, no, no, no. But no, I didn't talk to anybody. I was too busy with life. And I did want it to be a natural thing when we first met. Cool. I'm smart. Okay, so we see, I guess, like the beginning of paradise, you and Brayden.

And I would say this is where you've gotten a lot of heat for, I guess, going on a date and then, like, breaking Braden's heart or whatever had happened. But, yeah, you want to just, like, kind of get into your relationship with Brayden prior to you going on a date with Tanner. Okay. This is scary. Speaking. It doesn't have to. It really doesn't. It's scary in this moment just for what it's, you know, but people can say how they feel.

Prior to me going on the date, me and Brayden had. It's had multiple. whole conversations about where our exclusivity lie with our relationship. One I can remember in particular was in the pool that day. I told him like, you know, hey, I, I am liking what's going on, but like, I want to be open with you. Like, I'm, there was people I was hoping to see that aren't here. And, like, I'm possibly, like, wanting to explore that if they do come, like, if you're comfortable with that type thing. We have talked about it. And he responded with, like, understanding and, you know, we had had a lot of conversations about where we saw our, or at least where

I thought we saw our relationship going in the coming weeks because it was day two. And even in the bonfire, when Hannah asked me that question about who I was hoping to see, Braden responded with in front of everybody, like, you know, I know that. We talked about it and I'm good in it. I still want to just pursue her. so from my understanding it was like everybody saw that like he's acknowledging that that's so mature that's so great like we've talked about it like we're still just going to like we like we like we like each other and I'm enjoying what's happening and I'm leaning into it like you know having fun

and just affectionate and everything like that might was definitely very affectionate with him but at the end of the day like expectations and like we had talked about it because I always wanted to make sure that it was at least said um and yeah I would say that's like where we're I was at before Tanner came in. Like, I was just under the understanding that you were on the same page. I'll be totally honest. That's exactly what I, like, we thought was happening. Okay.

Like, I think you're getting a lot of, like, people saying, like, oh, my God, like, how dare she go on this date? Like, I assume we've probably said this on the podcast, but we've definitely talked about this, like, to each other. Like, our perception of what was going on was you had said, like, in the true circle, like I'm looking to go on a date with like maybe Tanner or Tyler if they come down. We've been down there. We know day two, day three is still so, so early.

Like we were not exclusive by that point. And it just like, give me like a really, a really dirty look there. Jesus. No, I didn't. Sorry. Go ahead. Well, anyway. But what I was going to say is I feel like Brayden seemed like he was more locked in on you.

than you were on him, but at no point did it seem like you guys were exclusive. Like, when Tanner asked you on the date, like, I was like, yeah, like, of course she's going to go on this date. Like, she's been verbal about this. She's been, like, open about this. And because we only see a little bit, I always assume you've said it more than just what we've seen. Do you know what I mean?

Like, when you see something said once, you're like, you got to kind of assume that's been said like three times. And I will say, like, at that point when Tanner did ask me on the date, you know, there's, I guess this etiquette in paradise where like you're supposed to pull them separately and like had that conversation but like I don't I don't I don't know what to do like I'm like after I spoke to Tanner I came back to the table and it was still technically in a group setting but I was like hey if he asked me like would you still feel comfortable with me going like I know the row ceremony was yesterday but um you know and I was having a little bit of reservations I think just based on our

interactions in the last like 24 hours that was like making me a little bit more weary about where a relationship is going to go, but should I have maybe pulled him aside and, like, made it more personal and it's also a little bit more in front of people so that they can have a little bit more perspective, absolutely. I just, I didn't, like, I don't know, like, what to do. So I'm like, we've talked about it. Everybody knows. Here he is saying, okay, I'm good to go if he asked me, kind of thing. Well, what was, what was his attitude when you did, um, that I was going? Oh, he was like, all for it. He was like, have fun. Like, I'll be here when you get back. Like, you know, just very understanding and reassuring that I'm not doing anything that

would have the response that it did when I actually did get back. Yeah, see, I didn't, like, I was, I'm with Serena on that. Like, when we watch it, I was like, yeah, I really don't think you did anything wrong. The only, the only time in, you know, as a viewer, where I watch it and I kind of put you at fault would be, it seemed like you were then upset with him being upset. But I do think that you're, you've given a little more context of why you were so frustrated. And if you're saying that you'd had multiple conversations about your status of your relationship and where things were going and, you know, that you wanted to be going on these dates,

then there definitely wasn't a betrayal. It's totally fine for him to feel hurt by that. And yes, I will say you were definitely frustrated with his frustration, but I do think your backstory gives more context to that story. And, you know, in the moment when I was being, I come back and like your friends and everybody is like all of a sudden against you and you're from the understanding of like, but wait, I just stopped talking to him. And he, even in that conversation where we broke up, he was like, it's all good.

It's on my computer. Sorry. Anyway, so when, you know, I come back and everyone is like against me, it was. Just a really overwhelming feeling in general. Do I handle one? Well, why do you, not to cut you up, but why do you think the girls, like your friends seem to be against you? Why? I don't know if they were necessarily against me.

Jess is like my best friend for a reason. She's that friend that will call you out. And like sometimes I live in my own world. Like I am literally like in Kat's world sometimes. And like she is the kind of friend that's like, no, you need to see this perspective. And at first, I don't handle conflict well. Very defensive. But I come around eventually after I stop stomping my feet.

Like, I'm like, okay, you're right. But, like, I think it was more her, like, trying to, like, have me see someone else's perspective because she knows that, like, I struggle with that, especially in moments that are so, like, emotionally heightened. And I do feel like I have to be on a defense mode. And, I mean, she has, they had, everybody had compassion for Braden. They had just seen him be very upset for multiple weeks or for multiple hours. And then, you know, he's saying all these things from, it's all subjective.

But at the same time, like, you see someone hurting. I think it's, it makes sense as to why they would have compassion. But I will agree with you. My delivery was very poor. There were some times that I, like, cringed and I was, like, disappointed in myself. But if I can. Well, I also, I didn't say your delivery was very poor. I thought it was just, it just, it just.

It was like. Well, it just, yeah, it just seemed like he, whatever the conversation that you guys had prior, like if he is upset, you should kind of be understanding that he's upset. And the thing is is that I, the reason I remember this happening so much because I've never had someone tell me this before. There was a moment in the conversation where I was like, you are valid. Like I, you are not, I'm not invalidating your feelings right now. And he said to me, I don't like when you say that.

I don't like when, I don't need you to tell me invalidating my feelings. And I'd never been, no one's ever said that to me before. So I was like confused. I know that what I was trying to do was like the intention was basically not to persuade his feelings to feel any differently, but just like to give some reassurance that I did actually care about him. I did not just want to be there for Rose. There were genuine feelings.

So if that's what you're feeling like, let me like at least acknowledge that that's from, I'm telling you that's not the case so that you can maybe like feel better. I don't know. I just, I wanted to at least tell him that. And it wasn't to persuade him in any way, but at least give him reassurance in some capacity that can be. I hate that this person's just here for a rose thing because at the end of the day, everybody, it's so early on that beach. Everyone out there is worried about getting a rose. So then I'm curious if you didn't go on that date with Tanner.

Let's say Tanner didn't come down or he asked someone else. How do you think the trajectory of your and Braden's relationship? relationship would have gone moving forward. Just out of curiosity. That's an interesting question. I don't, I think regardless of Tanner had, so I think regardless of Tanner had came, I think the relationship would have been ended because when I came back and, you know, I ended the relationship with him.

It wasn't with the idea that I'm only going to pursue Tanner now. I even said to him, Tanner's still going to explore. I may still explore too. It's still early. I just know that like I don't feel comfortable with like our relationship growing anymore. So it wasn't, I want to just put my eggs to Tanner. It was mostly just like I just know that I don't see there being a future with us. And I may have said that like a little too cold and it may have not came out perfectly.

And like it was maybe a little direct and clear and, you know, it could have taken his. Well, I rather you do that. I rather you do that than lead him on. Well, exactly. It gave him the opportunity to actually develop another. relationship. If I had let him on for those two days, he would have possibly went home. But because I gave him that open, like, he was able to be with Rachel the next day, right? So that's kind of where I was like, I don't want to lead you on. And I could have always seen his story as much as I was seeing

mine and taken more into consideration where he was coming from and his, you know, motions. But I was also just like doing the best that I can. Like it was really a lot that night. And I was overwhelmed. and when people are overwhelmed in these environments, they can come off very, like, guns blazing. And I at least give myself grace for that. But I do, like, can reflect and say that things could have been done differently, of course. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young, professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He

insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive Ali, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's Jemisbeg, host of the Psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September, the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of all. office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion. And my favorite episode, why do we all

secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that said, not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place. Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life, and of course, your 20s. This September, listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get, your podcasts. So in the last month, the Midas Touch Network beat Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Candice Owens, Charlie Kirk, and Ben Shapiro all combined.

Conservative podcasts can have a major political impact, but the Myceles Brothers, three siblings, with a serious media strategy are building an alternative to that. On the latest episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, I sat down with the brothers behind the Midas Touch Network to talk about how they built a progressive media powerhouse from the ground up, why audience interaction is the key to political influence

and what it takes to fight disinformation at scale, one download at a time. We should be focusing on the issues that actually occupy a lot of the mental space, in Americans' minds, but are filled with conspiracies, and we should fill it with the truth and solutions. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Why do you think everyone was so, not everyone, I shouldn't say that, but a lot of people on the beach were very gung-ho in this narrative of like, Kat used Braden, Kat just wanted a road, cat did Braden so dirty? Like, where do you think that came from? Do you think it was just like they watched him be so sad on the beach all day? And, like, a lot of their compassion went towards him. I think I'm a very easy person to pile on. Brayden is someone that you can easily have compassion for.

He was making it very known to the beach, his subjective view of the relationship. And I was not. Like, I wasn't running around the beach. telling people about our private conversations. And so they really only had his perspective. And I definitely wasn't going to do it after he put all that in everyone's head. So I just looked like I'm defending myself.

And maybe that led to it. I can't really speak on anybody. I do know that I am someone that, like, is, I come off very strong. So I think that people think it's okay to just, like, pile on. But, like, I still hurt. It still sucks. I don't really know. But I do know that he was making it.

he was telling everyone his subjective view of the relationship a lot more than I was. This is going to be a little harder of a question. But what is what is you what no it's not that hard. What is your response? Because there are there are people that say like what is your response to people that like you are pretty, you're good looking and because of that you're able to get away with acting any way you want. Okay. My response to that is, it's hard, you know, it will be shown in time. But there have been a lot of moments in my life where I have faced a ton of adversity. And I have gone through life, going through hardship and being told no multiple times.

I think what you're seeing is a girl that's in her own corner. and that might not be carried very well in TV and at the end of the day I came out of the wound literally stomping my feet and rolling my eyes like that is not just somebody who developed these traits over time like I have home movies at me

at one year's old doing that right and it's just who I am and as you get to know me you know that that's who I am I've done doing that at work or like at fancy dinners there's a time in place and definitely it's being heightened

at a moment where I feel the most comfortable But I would say that it's a very intense judgment to make on someone just based on what they're seeing on TV or how they look because it'll be shown through. I have a ton of layers. Like, and I have actually gone through enough time in my life to stand up for myself. So. Yeah. And people and honestly, like the situation is very brand new and strange and difficult. And people just don't know how they would actually handle it. So let's jump to the.

Before Tanner ends up going on a day with Davia, where is, what is your relationship status? I don't know. That was the problem. So I spent that whole, when Davia came in, it was like in the evening time. So we've spent the whole day together. I've given in my rose the day before. And we've had a very like less intense relationship compared to Braden. They're two different people.

And I kind of usually just match the other person's energy. So we're not like very touchy, feeling in general, right? But we hadn't talked that day. Like, I was seeing out with, like, other people, my friends. And there wasn't really, like, any, like, time that he pulled me away where we had a conversation about our relationship at all, like, where it was going to progress. So when you see me losing my mind, it was also from the sense of, like, I just don't even know where we stand. So it might come off, like, hypocritical and I'm getting karma. But at least in Brayden's situation, he had somewhat of an idea of where our relationship stood.

And so I really had no idea. I mean, I knew he wanted to be open, but still, I gave him the rose tonight before. Has that changed? Like, we talked about this a few days ago. Like, I still don't know. Did you want to be open or did you try to have that conversation with Tanner? I didn't go on my way to have a conversation with him that day because I was like kind of putting the ball in his court to do that. I had an idea that, like, I mean, of course.

I would never tell him not to go on the date. Like, he can go. But a little bit more, like, understanding that, yeah, it's my birthday. We had talked about it. We had planned it. Like, there was a lot of things that were to dress that may be a little bit of more. I'm not with my friends. I'm not with my family.

Like, I'm here alone on a beach with bugs and heat. And it would have been nice if maybe you tried to put that into consideration prior to accepting it or at least let me know where our relationship stood. do you think if it wasn't your birthday you would have felt differently or do you think it was oh really okay you're a big birthday girl and I know everyone's like I'm sick of grown adults saying no like I will do this for the rest of my life I'm sorry I'm also alone on this beach like I'm not with my friends and family that I normally am with so it's going to be heightened of course okay but like taking a step back now and like looking at it like it's just unfortunate your birthday

falls on the same timeline is paradise. So can you really blame him? I mean, I was born on that day. And I probably shouldn't have told anybody that it was my freaking birthday. Okay. But at the same time,

I think in general, regardless of my birthday or not, having a conversation about where you stood when you had gotten the rose since we're going to focus on roses in the season, the night before, would have been nice

because he had all day to do it. before that date and that was just and then i i feel like you touched on this oh go ahead no i was just going to say so like the the chat went bad right like the situation wasn't great there was a lot of tension between you and tanner what do you think he could have done or was there anything he could have done specifically differently that would have made the whole situation go over better other than not go on the date with dhabia because i think he was probably always going to end up going on that date Like, is there something he could have said, done? If he, if he pulled you that morning and you'd had a conversation about, like, where your relationship was going.

I wouldn't, honestly, I mean, it's subjective. But I don't think that the conversation that we had prior to him going on the date with Javia went horrible. I think it was quick to the point. And since, like, you know, Javia came up and I gave her a hug goodbye and I told her to have fun. Like, that's how it ended. So I think if we had at least had some understanding and, like, at least, yeah, touched. based on where a relationship was, it wouldn't have been as intense as it ended up being. But you're worried that you're going to get, you know, effed over on this beach.

I, it was, that is your biggest concern. And in that moment, I was definitely feeling like I just got like, he's just like an F boy. And that was just in that moment, you know, where I was there. Yeah. So then what would your response be to the people that are saying you're being hypocritical? because you went on a date with Tanner after a few days with Brayden and now Tanner's doing the same to you

and you're really upset about it. I also feel like you do kind of mention the fact that you had expressed to Brayden where your relationship's through. I don't think the relationship's the same. I just wanted to give you the opportunity to kind of like address to that. I would say I mean everybody,

is entitled to feel how they feel from their that's their they're in the relationship just as much as I am and in my understanding and why I think it's coming like I had spoken to Braden about where our relationship stood and where I see like saw the rest of paradise progressing there and so but in contrast like me and Tanner hadn't had that conversation in a couple of days I'd also spent more days with Tanner than I had with Braden definitely more hours you mean we had an entire date together. And we had a whole other day together. Then we had a whole rose ceremony day together. So there was a lot more hours and time spent of getting to know each other than even in comparison to Braden. So it is going to be more intense. Oh, and then my whole day of my birthday. So that's

like four days compared to two. And a lot of that wasn't even quality time because it was a lot going on. Okay. Yeah. I think the main thing, the main takeaway from what you're saying is that you had a very clear status of a relationship with Braden and it had been a short period of time whereas when it came to Tanner it was a little bit more depth in that relationship more time spent together and when it came down to him going on this date on your birthday

you're kind of like okay what's going on like what's going on here like it was a lot less clear it was but I can see where that can be, like, looked at as karma, you know, hypocritical, like, all the things that are being said. Like, you did the same thing. But in my eyes, I did speak to Brayden. You know, like, I had talked to him. Even maybe it wasn't personal, but we had spoken and at least touched base, even that same

right before he asked me. And then, like, Tanner came and sat down next to other people, didn't even come and sit next to me. I, you know, those are like the differences that, like, you might not see it first, but, like, we're there. When I came back from Tanner and I's conversation, I sat next to Braden and talk to Braden. That was not, like, that was the difference. It's not a comparison, you know, it's not a competition on who does this better. We're all just doing our best. I think people forget that we are like 20-year-old, like in our 20s dating on this beach

with our friends. It's very difficult. And so I don't fault anybody for doing it. I try not to even fault myself. But, yeah, I mean, we're just trying to survive. We're just doing our best. Okay. So surviving, not thriving.

It's just how it goes. So Tanner comes back on his date with Davia and then you guys have a like a chat and it's kind of like who's breaking up with who kind of conversation. But I guess like, yeah, where was your head at going into that conversation? And then where were you after? Okay. So what I was trying to do the night prior was like just say with my motions, see where they go. If I continue to get, like, upset that he's not here and, like, you know, pick apart everything,

then, like, I think that's enough for me to say, like, it's time to go. And honestly, my gut was never really, like, fully leaning into Tanner in general by being honest. So, you know, I went into that conversation being like, regardless of what said, I don't feel comfortable proceeding. Let me just point out that the guys have the roses that week. So I'm breaking up with a guy who has a rose. Anyways. Okay. So what do you say, people saying that he was breaking up with you?

Oh, I mean, I was probably having an ego moment for sure. Like, are you getting me? Every girl wants to be like, no, I did the breaking up, okay? You didn't break up with me. 100% that was me. But like, I still know in my heart that I went into that being like, and that's why I said it because I let him talk first. And I was like, I should have talked first.

But still. Yeah, because once they get it out, once they get that it's over out, it's like, you beat me to the pun. My ego was being shown in every capacity. like for sure being like no no no I didn't he didn't want to be in it either so then I was like you know it ended up being mutual and I think that's why like we can laugh at it now but it is it definitely was being shown through like everybody could understand where that that happens sometimes you know but I know I wanted the relationship to not proceed anyways so there we go yeah okay and we we talk about we serena and I actually talked about this on the recap that um you know

we believe is a good quality that like you are able to you are able to get knocked down and get up pretty quickly and and keep moving yeah i actually want to talk about this before we get into your next boyfriend but you are now we're about to go into your third paradise boyfriend and truly i don't know if i've ever seen someone with such like persistence persistence and tenacity but like you really do like it ends with brayden and like things like you have like a bad convo with brayden and then it's like switch flipped like you're focused on tanner and then like switch flipped and like i don't mean that in a bad way like i feel like there's so many people that like when their relationship doesn't play out the way they hoped or like a convo doesn't play out the way

they hope you're in their favor they want to go home they're like hey like this didn't work out like how how did you do that like where does that come from i have a lot of resilience i've been told that I'm a very resilient person, but I just think in general, I've gone through a lot of seasons of life that have contributed to that. It takes a lot to knock me fully, fully down. Granted, in these last few weeks, I almost got there. I'm not going to lie. But, like, it takes more than just, like, a relationship with a boy, like, to bring me down to the point where I want to, you know, be done with life. But at the same time, I will be honest with you, like, those moments of, like, I look like I'm really mad. I'm actually, like, having a conversation.

with myself if I want to stay because there was so much that had led to like my breakup in those weeks that like I felt like I was underwater. It was like I just can't come above water. But at the same time, like I, I'm a very strong woman and I want to always like just put myself first in the way that like is, I don't know, just be my biggest advocate. And I think just a lot of my seasons of life have contributed to my resilience. And it definitely was shown through on the beach. Like, you're not going to knock me down. Okay, like, I'm going to do this and I came here. I'm breaking up with you.

Yeah. I'm breaking up with you. Who's next? Oh, my God. But actually, you know, when the next boyfriend formed, it wasn't even like who's next. Like, I was like, you know what? I had my little butterfly clip in that day. I remember being like, I'm just a free butterfly. Like, whatever the heck happens today, like, I'm just going to lean into.

I have no expectations. I'm just going to have fun. Like I was, like I said, down the lead. So, like, it was just like natural. energy that I allowed in and I just listened to it and yeah that's pretty much I think what I do so from your point of view where did Olivia in John Henry stand I don't I don't know I mean they were hanging out for sure were you for are you friends were you friends with her at the time or was it just more like no I had I was going through my own obviously thing so

Like, the main people I was leaning on were my girls, like Kylie, Jess, Mercedes. Even sometimes Rachel and stuff. Even a lot of the boys were, like, my friends and people are, like, Blake was one of my confidants that I would, like, talk through things with. But Olivia was never really one of them because there was just some things that were said about other women that, like, rub me the wrong way. So I just didn't, I never really felt comfortable having a friendship with her, like, on a personal level.

So I never really had any idea of, like, where her relationships did. but if there was one person on the beach I definitely did not have even like an actual friendship it was Olivia so who was who were her friends with she hung out a lot with Eliza that was her like closest friend I would say

yeah okay so then when you start like flirting and in talking to John Henry is he just kind of just going back does he bring up Olivia or where he's at in that relationship I think I asked him at some point and he was like just saying you know yeah we've been getting to know each other and I like

hanging out with her but like he was still I think open to just like getting to know each other and in those initial moments it was about just I was just like really intrigued by him and like I felt like a weird like attraction so it was very like just a friendship and we had became friends over the few days that he's been on the beach so I wasn't like okay I'm talking to because we're going to date tomorrow and like you're going to be the person I like it was just like no you know and he's very easy on the eyes. So he's really fun to talk to you and hang out with and just look at in general.

I remember I would forget what he says because he would just like talk to me and I couldn't hear him because he's so attractive. I think you said that actually. It's insane. Like it's never happened to me before. And I was like, what's going on? So there was just like a lot of weird feelings

that were coming up. But I was just kind of going with it. I wasn't really like having any intention or expectation. or like fantasies. It was just like, you're like really cute and really fun to talk to. Did you have any concerns about

getting to know him with Olivia on the beach and like potential comfort there? Yeah, I saw she handled the Kylie situation. So I was like, I don't, I don't, I have had enough fair chariot drama. But in general, I never wanted to disrespect her. I never would want to be like in front of somebody

that she has feelings for and I would never be doing that. in a purposeful way, but we, it's kind of hard in periods because we're all around each other. But I know I would, there was multiple times where I'm like, I don't want to be doing this because I know that she still likes him and I would never want to like disrespect somebody. But I was just a little worried on how that was going to be accepted just based on like what I've seen thus far. If that makes sense.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor,

and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like, you're not going to choose an adapted strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say like, go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress,

seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. ignoring is easier, denial is easier, drinking is easier, yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So in the last month, the Midas Touch Network beat Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Candice Owens, Charlie Kirk, and Ben Shapiro all combined. conservative podcast can have a major political impact, but the Myceles brothers, three siblings with a serious media strategy, are building an alternative to that. On the latest episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, I sat down with the brothers behind the Midas Touch Network to talk about how they built a progressive media powerhouse from the ground up, why audience interaction is the key to political influence and what it takes to fight disinformation at scale, one down. at a time. We should be focusing on the issues that actually occupy a lot of the mental space

in Americans' minds but are filled with conspiracies, and we should fill it with the truth and solutions. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. How did it, how did I feel when Olivia then, after you're talking to John Henry, and we don't note like the way it comes across us you're talking to john henry and then she comes finally comes over that night pulls him and like makes out with him what looks like to be in front of you or next to you oh yeah that was so fun that was that was great i love it um just because i'm not doing it does not mean that she's not doing it like i'm sure it was territorial and disrespectful and blah blah

you know, all that stuff, but that wasn't going to deter me from, I, I could tell in that moment that that's not John Henry. Like, that was Olivia. So it's, if that's how you, if that's how you display, you know, how you carry yourself in these moments, that's fair. Not sure, but it's not the bachelor. So it's not like, I'm going to go and be like, can I interrupt you for a second? Like, no, he's a grown man. If he wants to be there, he'll be there. If he doesn't, he won't. You know, like he's it's not just like he can make his own decisions for himself too so yeah and how if roles were flipped in you were talking to john henry first and then olivia came around how do you think you would have handled that i mean he was hanging out with me so like if i was in

her position and i saw him talking to another girl after we've formed a connection in that's not like for me i would never say that's the woman's fault like i would be like okay like you clearly like her my ego's hurt i got to go like that would be that's but that's how i handle it that i mean that's not to say that that's like right but i i just had too much of like an ego and like i just i wouldn't i don't think be able to you know he's he can make his own decision like he's he's people i guess that is kind of how you like did handle it though with tanner like when he went on a date with someone else you were kind of like okay like my ego's bruised and no fuck yourself which is which is fair yeah i'm very aware of that there's a lot of things i'm not

self-aware of but my ego is one i have learned would be very aware of it's it's difficult it's a hard like you know i think we're all the same way and we all go down to that beach and everyone that goes on the show we all have a little bit of an ego and none of us want to get hurt and we all know it's being televised so we're all you know in our own heads and doing the camera yeah crazy yeah shit you you are someone that I and correct me if I'm wrong definitely correct if I'm wrong here but you seem to be use your ITMs as like if you're like calling your friend to vent after like your boyfriend just pissed you off or you went on a bad day like yeah you're like that's what makes for great TV I'm not on obviously I'm not on I'm not on

I'm just going to have my little... I'm appreciative of you acknowledging that because I would just like to point out that I'm not yelling at people's faces. Like, I easily could be being at max volume, like, to them. I just choose to do it in the camera, which I in my eyes think it's more appropriate, you know, to hit max volume in a separate room and not to them.

Granted, sometimes the whole beach can still hear it. But, you know, it is more of a release moment because I'm like I wanted to probably do that then and I couldn't because I would never do that to somebody but I am venting I'm ranting I don't even think I take a breath in some of my rants like I like I speak straight up for five minutes it's like insane and it's very humorous to watch back I'm not going to lie um sometimes I'm like closing my eyes in my ears but at the same time it's it is funny because I just being honest yeah honestly the first time you did I was like what is going on? And like by like the third time, I was like, I love these. These are hilarious.

I grew in a household where like we don't hear our own tone. I mean, like we're very, I'm Hispanic and Italian. So like I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I've been told it does. But at the same time, like, yeah, I don't hear my tone. Like sometimes when I'm like raising my voice, Jess will straight up be like, I'm lowering the volume like lower. And I'm like, oh, my bad. So like that happens. And I don't, sometimes it's definitely amplified on television. I get it too. You go into your interview and you go off and you're like, oh, that feels good. And then after you're like, I shouldn't have did that. But whatever. Okay, so what are your thoughts? We're curious to see what happens between you, John Henry and Olivia. But what are your thoughts on Braden now going on a date with Becca after the whole Rachel thing?

Any opinion on that? Um, well, you know, I, in that moment, like, that I saw that happen, I just really felt for Rachel. She, I don't think sometimes, like, wants to show her vulnerability and like, I could be wrong, but like, I think she was hurting. We said the same. We said the same way. Okay, yeah, I think she's hurting more than she's alluding to. And that hurt me because I'm like, oh. like you know but when that happened and he went on that date I was just thinking like okay maybe he sees my perspective now you know like it's and it's it does make you question the intention behind what he did a few weeks ago prior to that like with everyone else

and you know if he were hurting so much like you wouldn't expect him to do it to someone else kind of thing but that's not my place to say Um, however, it's like mostly I was just like, yeah, I mean, maybe he can see my perspective and I, I, I, I feel for Rachel mostly. But it's, it's an interesting situation, I would say. It says a lot. There's a lot of telling parts that I will let people form their own opinions on because I would never want to guide that. But it's interesting. We'll see. Now we'll see. We'll see what happens. Yeah, there's. All right. Wait. I have. have two more questions. I know you're trying to like jump into the game. No, let's go. Okay. So no, you're doing it. We're going over time. The game is fun. Okay. So we have to quickly touch on, um, Eliza and Aaron B. Okay. Oh yeah. Yeah. So we catch you in a little bathroom chat with Eliza letting, um, her know what you've heard from charity

about Aaron B. What, um, compelled you to let her know what you had heard? I think the biggest thing that people are kind of questioning is why have that conversation so late into like their relationship and why not have had that conversation maybe with eliza when she first started talking to erin okay there were some things that were questionable about his character but i was never trying to like deter that or determine like i didn't want to be the person that like makes her make those decisions right but at that point it's not yeah i mean if it's in the beginning you're still getting to know someone. I'm also like going through my, I'm in my own world. So this time I was finally probably able to step out of it. And I'm a girl's

girl. Like that is who I am. And it's not about the lateness in it. It's just like they're getting to the point where they're either going to get serious. And like if I wouldn't have felt comfortable with that with knowing this information and not sharing it with her at that point, if they were about to like make that next initial step, like she had been like they're definitely exclusive type thing. and I had already seen her like wheels turning and I'm like if I can give you any kind of at least context for what life could be outside of here this is what I know that's not in the intention to hurt him it was just like this is what I have I'm always looking out for the for the girl and like take it for what it is but I don't think it comes down to the timeline

if anything it makes more sense to do it later because that's when things are getting more serious yeah no I agree with that um and then And Aaron B pulls you. So Charity and Eliza are not having a chat. And Aaron pulls you. And from what we see, my takeaway was that he was mostly mad that you didn't tell him about it, which was a little bit confusing to me. But how did that conversation go? I mean, it was just like if he had asked me, I would have told him.

You know, like if that it, and I didn't think the conversation went bad. He was very, like, fired up. And I kind of want to just be like, hold on. I'm not against you. this was not intentionally to hurt you this was like me just looking up for one of my girls like that are on the speech and that was it and if you wanted to have a conversation about it and you'd ask me about it i would have been open and speaking with you but it's he's not like my girl like she's my girl in like that setting so of course i'm going to tell her and yeah i don't know

I don't really see what the confusion is with that. But yeah, at the end of the day, it was never intentionally too hurt him, if ever, or their relationship. I'm not, I, it's just if people are all talking about each other's relationships, obviously I'm going to give some context from what I know outside the show,

because we're all physically talking about each other. One more hard question for you. Because this kind of, I mean, it doesn't contradict it. a little bit as far as like you are being a girl's girl with Eliza but then in the same breath Olivia's talking to John Henry and you know really Olivia's on the girl okay she wasn't my friend in the age we were not okay we were not I was just weren't friends it's not that we I did not let not like her

but like I kept my distance from her there was one you were like friendly but you weren't like I didn't confide in her there was one girl I'm sorry that I felt comfortable like going like you know not really like having any kind of second thought of who she was dating it was going to be her and that's she's not a bad person i don't like dislike her i think she was also she's just not somebody that like i got along with necessarily on that in the beach and i had way closer friends that you just didn't feel the loyalty to olivia that you did to eliza right yeah where you wanted to talk especially since you know i had the information that I mean, honestly, even with Olivia, if I had information like that, I'd tell her, too.

But when it comes to, like, pursuing another man that they're dating, like, yeah, Liv wouldn't be the first person that I'm, like, worried about. And you're also not the first person to do that. I mean, yeah, we're in paradise, too. And Braden Columbia homiehofer was, we're all friends. So are we all homie hopping? Like, I'm just confused. Like, like, why everything is being, like, anything I do has to be, like, put on this microscope. And it's like, but every single person is doing it, too.

well that's why yeah that's why the rose comment in my everybody because it's like everyone everyone's all right let's play uh we're gonna play a rapifier questions a game you want to go sure i'll just first thing that comes your head are all silly questions it's always like easy fun fun it's not about like the show you're all it's over the interrogation can it's over okay are you more of an introvert or extrovert i'm definitely an extrovert should probably find my introvert somewhere what would be your go-to paradise cocktail um it was a tequila soda with lime and orange have to have the orange what it's a good ad what is the first thing you would buy if you won the lottery oh wow

i mean i would just probably spend it all in like facials and botox and skincare i don't think i'd buy it on anything specifically i'd buy myself you're like just my face what a crazy answer I respect it bucket list. To see Mount Fiji. I do want to go see Mount Fiji. With your AirPods in. Of course. Always. What? Do you have any dating deal breakers? Someone who's like just not down to be like silly and weird. Like if you don't get the zoomies like or if you get afraid of my zoomies at Saturday morning like that's a deal break through me. Like you have to understand that we get zoomies. If that makes sense. Joe gets. Yeah, I love them too. what the fuck is zumi it's like when you just like wait like you wake up with so much energy

and you're like running around you're like you're out and then you're back in and then you're like jumping on the bed you usually say what about animals but like i think humans get it too like you know how dogs get the zoomies yeah okay it's like humans never heard yeah i guess i yeah just learning something about yourself what is your love language um i'm all five if i had to pick one it is quality time 100 people. Okay. What is the first concert you've ever attended? Britney Spears. Yeah, I was a good one. I was a good professor. Are you going to read her book? I am. Once I'm done

studying for my boards, she's the book I'm reading. Yep. That'll be very different. It's going to be needed. Yeah. What is the most important item to pack for Paradise? Sounds great. Hands down. There's nothing else. What moment from Paradise has made you laugh the hardest? Oh my gosh. There's so many moments. But me getting smacked by the wave is ingrained in my brain. And there was a moment right before that where I also faced planted the wave like took my feet out.

And I like went into the water. Like I was just getting wrecked that day. And it was the day I said it wasn't going to get my hair wet. So it was just very funny. It's been that's one of my favorite memories of that day. That is funny. what moment from paradise so far has made you cringe the hardest all the comments about tongue and tongue rings and ass grabbing and just like i need to just be quiet like i am so overhearing myself to speak without a filter sometimes that anything that's in that realm i close what would be what would be then do you have any like watching yourself back like you're it's they say like watching yourself back like looking in a mirror right like you're learning so much about yourself What would you say, like, the biggest thing you learned about yourself is whether it's, like, good or bad or regret?

I would say looking back, even in Zach's season and Paradise in general, I have learned that I don't have to always be my number one advocate. I have people I can lean on. And I don't have to always, like, be standing up for myself and be, you know, so ready to go. Like, and it's something I can tell in just, like, my conversations and how I handle things. I don't have any regrets because everything I did led me to where I am today. But at the same time, like, I am learning, like, yeah, there are people like for Lina. It's just like, I don't need you to be so, like, ready to, like, do stuff, you know, when things happen in my life. It's just something I've, I never really, I think, had to, like, learn about myself until watching it back. Yeah.

So you say you've learned that you can be less defensive and let other people defend you. Yeah, there are people in my corner. I'm not the only one. Yeah. That's a great one. Well, Kat, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for coming up. This is nice. It's still anxious, but you're good. I feel like you might be anxious for like weeks to be honest. It's never going to go in. But we're doing well and I appreciate you guys take time to talk to me. Kind of just like

at my perspective of things. It's nice. Of course. You're excited to have your line. And thank you everyone for tuning in and remember all new episodes of BIP air every Thursday on ABC at 9 8 Central following the Golden Bachelor or you can stream both the next day on Hulu. And make sure to tune in to new episodes of Bachelor Happy Hour every week. We're going to have some great guests on and we've got all kinds of exclusive interviews

coming up so don't get to subscribe. Thanks, everyone, and see you next time. Bye. Bye. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, So we'll find out soon. This person writes, My boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her.

Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a podcast. better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort.

Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.