Bachelor Happy Hour - Farms, Bad Boys & Icks with Alexe! | Golden Hour

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re chatting with Alexe from Grant’s season of “The Bachelor.” This ray of sunshine is here to tell us all about herself, dish out some advice, and find her long-lost sister Kathy; these two are seriously twin souls! Alexe tells us all about her experience on the show, including her friends and setting the record straight on her journey. Then, she shares dating updates and her hopes to be on the beach this summer. If Alexe were to get the call, who does she have her eye on? And, of course, she helps us dish out some advice to you guys! After an initial connection, how does Alexe determine if a guy is right for her? Can you ever get past an ick when you’re dating your first sweetheart after a string of bad boys? Tune in now to find out all this and more and be sure to subscribe! Are you needing some advice? Submit your questions now at BachelorNation.Com/GoldenHour; you might even get advice from one of your Bachelor Nation faves!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'm Jamel Hill, hosted the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday.

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Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks for joining us. We're so excited to be back today. How are you doing today, Susan? I am in happy world. Susan's totally in happy world.

Now that she's in love, that's all she says. I'm in happy world. That's all good. And we've been having so much fun answering your questions and chatting with our Bachelor Nation fans. Okay. So today we have a very special guest. Another absolutely gorgeous woman from Grant's season. Alex, welcome to Golden Hour.

Bonjour. Como so va? Oh, you did your work? Hi, thank you so much for having me. How's everyone doing? We're doing great. Susan, Alex, is from Canada and speaks fluent French. So you might want to talk to me. It's a different French, I believe.

Oh, do you speak French from France? Oh, I don't yet, but I'm studying. I am trying. He is from France. And I hear that Canadian French and. Yeah, so we did, it's funny, I did a little TikTok the other day with my my Quebec French my Quebec friend and then me because it's

totally two different accents I'm from New Brunswick and then he's from Quebec and then I'm getting so many responses from people from France being like what kind of accent is that so yeah we can't understand the thing but do you understand Parisian French Alex? Absolutely I'm like

I understand you guys yeah they understand us but yes I can but it's not everybody who can I think I'm just like very I've always been interested in accent so I feel like yeah me too And you too. Yeah. And I can do the French,

de France, I'm going to. Do you? I'm going to do that. That's the one that can't you. No, of course. Of course it is.

Wait, I have the question. So you, my sister lives in Ottawa, Canada. I have good friends who lived in New Brunswick. My sister is a Canadian citizen. Okay, wait. Okay, we're, wait, wait, wait. So first of all, I went to school in Ottawa.

You, where did you go? I went to University of Ottawa. I did my master's there. my gosh okay there you go okay and then how do you know people from new brunswick and where um well they moved they left new brunswick they're back in toronto now my sister lived in toronto this interview is about you so we're going to go through this really quickly my sister lived in toronto for 20-something years married a canadian offloaded the canadian but stayed in canada uh became a Canadian citizen and um her children um one lives in Ottawa she spent 20 years in in Toronto are the friends in new brunswick were old friends

of my husband and my from the Navy and he married a woman from Toronto and then business-wise they moved into Brunswick and now they're back in Toronto. And now they're right. Do you remember where? I'm just curious. I'll get back to you on that. I have their address somewhere, but it's a small place. And I just filmed the show while actually it just aired and I was like 50 minutes north of Toronto in this mansion. Yes. Wow. Canada is beautiful. I always say much beautiful. It is beautiful. It is. Quebec City is gorgeous. Montreal is my favorite. And by the way, can I just say, speaking of accents, and I am, I love the whole study of language. Americans usually say Quebec, and people from Kennes say Quebec.

Quebec, because it's Quebec. I know. Just saying Americans will say Quebec. You're right, but it is, yeah, it's Quebec. Okay, so, and you grew up on a farm with like. But I want to stick the record straight. Like, I wasn't the one like milking the cows. Yeah, no, no, no.

You don't look like somebody who'd be milking a cow. No, no, that's why I moved to Los Angeles. But definitely my mother had, we had a calf, we had chickens, we had goats, we had bunnies. And, you know, all of that was to obviously eventually, you know, use the meat. And then she did the error of the mistake of naming the calf. And she got attached to it. And we couldn't need it. Oh, no, you can't.

No. O'Neill. O'Neill was the name. O'Neill. Wow. So when did you move to O'Neill? LA. So I moved two and a half years ago because I am crazy. And it was a Friday night on a whim. I said, you know what? I want to move to California. I mean, I had planned to do it, but I was like going to do it in a couple months.

And I was like, you know what? Let's just do it now. So I sold all of my stuff within the weekend on Facebook Marketplace. And I packed my 2007 Honda accent with a cat in a litter box. And I rode from Ottawa, Canada to Los Angeles. By yourself. Well, I was going to do it by myself because I've always been very, very stubborn. And my friends were like, Alex, don't do that by yourself. You're going to. And I was like, I can do it.

And then two days before, so that, because it was a Friday and I left Tuesday, like maybe Sunday night, I started. And I was like, okay, this is not a good idea. Let me just call a friend just to see if she would do it with me. And she was like, yeah, let's do it. I've always wanted to do a road trip with you. Do you know that I've driven twice by myself from Texas to Toronto twice? Well, then you're crazy.

That's the thing, Kathy. Well, I was going to say, you and I, you and I are similar. We're both a little on the, you know. I'm driven all over the country. They muted us. I was like, no, we're, we're going to have, yeah. Sign language. We always keep talking.

So, wait, you are a pediatric speech therapist, which I get a little, you know, kids who go waya, they can't pronounce their letters. I get it. Or, yeah, or instead of, yeah, instead of red, it's wed. Wed, right. So I what, can you give me like a, oh, let's call it 15 second primer, how you get a kid who says wed to say red? How do you do it? Okay. So the R sound is the most difficult sound to work on in speech therapy.

It's really difficult because it's just the way the tongue has to be. But there's a bunch of tricks that you can do. It depends on the age. It depends on their cognitive level, obviously. But little tricks that I like to do is, for example, you will, I'll pretend that they have like a line of peanut butter. on their palette. And I start with the L sound and I say lift the peanut butter off.

So it starts like this. So, ooh. I made the R sound. Or sometimes what I'll do is I'll say go E and just slide your tongue back. So e-er. Wow. And the French never pronounced the R's. What'd you say?

The French never pronounced their R's. You know what? Sometimes I say to parents, I mean, if you don't hear that your kid sounds like they're from London, because it's a, oh, the Lada, mother, teacher. Or, wait a minute, wait a second. If you're from Boston, it's pack the car, go to parties. There was no such thing as an R in Boston.

They just eradicated it from the alphabet. It was a sad day. And meet a Spanish person and brr. No. They're all ours. You got to learn to roll your ars. That's too funny. But it's like, you know, it's cute until like, of course it's developmentally appropriate

up until they're like six years old and then it's cute until it's not right you're right i always say you know it's yeah it's because it's cute what was i'm to say um it because it impacts the meeting so for example like instead of like sleeping if they say sweeping well then you're going to be like what are you trying to right there too much so that's so do you still do that now that's what doing. Yes. I just got off work and I was important. Well, Alex, we have so much we want to dive into it today and we want to get to know you. So we're going to get things started. Okay. Okay. We first got to know Paradise. Yes. If you're asked, do you want to go and who do you want to see there? Okay. Yes. I would love to go on Paradise. I think this is very much so my, my wheelhouse. I'm a very

light, fun, you know, easygoing person. And I feel like that's what paradise is. So absolutely, if I were asked, I would love, love, love to go. And I love to travel also. Yeah. And who would I like to see? I mean, who, that's a good question. Like I said, this is what I've been saying is people have been saying, oh, you and

Jonathan, because you have the same personality. So we'll see, you know, it might just turn out as friends just because. You mean jiggity John, that Jonathan? Oh, jiggity John. Yes, that guy. Oh, he's a nice guy. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't really, you know, talk to him, but that's what we're seeing online, I guess. So we'll see.

Would you, are you, do you feel like you're ready to get married? So I always say this. So I am 28 years old. I see all my friends back in Canada that are married with kids. For a long time, I was like, I could never be me. Like, I want to travel. I want to have fun. And lately, I've been still going on trips with my friends, but I'm like, oh, wouldn't it be fun to like, you know, be here and like watch the sunset and like give a kiss to whoever I'm with, right? So, I'm definitely ready to just. Oh, I thought you were going, I thought you were going, wouldn't it be fun to have a little baby on this trip? And I'm like, have you ever traveled on an airplane with an infant?

No, no, no, no. Don't romanticize it. Eventually, I want to, my kids, I want to, you know, expose my kids to the world for sure and travel with them, but not yet. But no, I've just been kind of longing for, you know, a nice quiet Friday night where you watch sex in the city and you make pasta. I love this. I love this. Okay. So do you know what qualities you look for in a partner?

So this is an interesting question. So you would have asked me before The Bachelor. Ah, it's changed, right? I would have said I wanted someone who could balance me out because I'm very outgoing. I'm very like head in the clouds. Have you met Kathy and I? No, exactly. I'm the same exact way.

And I used to say like, do I want someone who like balances me out? And I dated that and it kind of felt like they were maybe taking some of my like light a little bit. And then after The Bachelor, I realized, like, you know, me and Grant were complete opposite. And it's still, you know, I still started catching feelings for him. And I was like, oh, I could see that. So I think now, if you ask me, I'm like, I could, I think someone who's like similar to me could be fun. Because at the end of the day, I want to be 80 years old on a rocking chair and just having the time of my life with the person I'm with, right? So I tend, you know, to gravitate towards people that are like me.

And I feel like I'm fun. So I'm going to be with someone like. So I think maybe someone's similar to me. So we'll see. I don't know that's good that's interesting no it's actually a very interesting answer and I can see it going both ways the thing is when you have two

yeah when you have two outgoing personalities you really have to it's like it's my turn no it's my turn I mean like you really have to learn to share I was like fighting because I was like you know I love to be the center not the center of me I'm super self-aware but he also liked to be super so I was like no no my me

stop talking me so that's like Frederique he's just like me outgoing funny and I know when the pause, and he knows when to pause, or you join together. Or you join in. Yeah, so you know the flow. Yes, it flows. Exactly.

Okay, so I have a question. What do you think, I mean, I don't know yet. I'm hoping to get to go to Paradise, but Susan's definitely not going because she's in love. You know, lucky Susan. But what do you think about the Golden's? Like, that's nothing that's ever been done. So what do you think about the Golden's being in Paradise? Well, I mean, I think, honestly, it's like a,

great um like insight or not insight but um you know have to have you you know i say i'm saying you but golden people to be there to ask because you guys have obviously more years you know than us with love and experience and i think to have you guys there to ask questions and like get your insight and your input like are you concerned at all about the us some one of the goldens like in one of the younger people is that a concern that that cross your mind male or female the internet does i mean i mean i have to tell ox i do have my my mind on jiggity john you just have to tell hakeem i still love them even though i'm not coming we would have definitely given each other roses well i don't think i i truly don't think that's an issue

i think some of the golden men might like to hook up with some of the young women and but you know i'm going to be there with a bat and a sword saying get back to your side of the table no i know i'm not worried at all i feel like you guys will come in you know and step in when it's appropriate to be like, eh, eh, eh. Yeah, exactly. You know, inappropriate. Do you understand that you're looking at that girl? She could be your daughter.

How do you feel? I know. Well, that was the only worry is that I was like, okay, when my butt cheeks are out on the, on the sunshare is like, whoever can come by and be like, good morning, Alex, for their morning, for their morning coffee. I want to know about Thailand. How was it? It was beautiful.

So I am extremely lucky. people like so my best friend he works for Air Canada so we go on buddy passes this is how I've been traveling so much and just very careful because I know not everyone has the opportunity and I wouldn't be able to travel as much if it wasn't for that

so thank you for bringing me everywhere around the world it was beautiful it's you know I've traveled quite a lot it's my favorite country hands down really what is it about Thailand that you love I think the culture shock I mean I say my favorite country

It's, you go to Europe and it's also so beautiful. But I think the culture shock and the people were so nice. The food was delicious that I've never seen Co-Pee Island. I've never seen. It felt like the intro of Mohana, the movie. Like where it was. I will tell you it's high. You know, you have a bucket list.

I read that you have a bucket list of places you want to travel. Thailand is very high in my bucket list. Oh, it is. Have you guys been able to travel as well? We've traveled some, but not to Thailand. I'm not Asian. Yeah, not Asia. Where else do I want to go? Where else do I want to go? Yeah. I want to do South Africa. My friend was there. We kind of, we were supposed to do South Africa. We pivoted to Thailand. So I want to do that. And I would love to go to Zanzibar. Really? Wow. Like a safari, but like an ethical safari. Oh, my goodness. And I want to do, I've never done Latin America. So I want to do South, so like maybe like Brazil, Peru, Chile. I've been to Peru. I've had to.

I did. I did the whole thing, the camping, the whole bit. How? Oh, you can't? Oh, yeah. And we're going to Portugal, Kathy. I'm not taking the train up. We did the three day, my husband, my daughter, her boyfriend. Yeah, we did the whole thing. Are you guys hikers? I'm a great. I'm a huge hiker. I love it. Yeah, I hiked. See what happens. Did you say you are or not? Susan, that's how she broke a race. I hiked in St. Martin and I just had surgery. So I, you don't like to hike? that is where yes no Alex is not a hiker I'll do it

I'll do it but then it's no if you're not hiking what do you do for your fun spare time? You lazy no so I like to play beach volleyball that is how I keep active a big beach volleyball girl that's the only way I've always said

I need to move to New York because I'm not an outdoorsy person and I know that's not a good thing to say because I feel like it's not an attractive trait but I'm not an outdoorsy person at all like really that's why I think New York York. I love the energy of New York. The only thing that gets me outside is playing beach volleyball

and feeling good about it. Like, ooh, this is fun. It doesn't feel like a workout. And it's social. You know, you talk to people. Do you play with the full team or just like two? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We play. Sometimes it's two. Sometimes it's like a team. I was in a league back in January. So we go every Sunday. We play. It's like competitive. I'm a very competitive person. On a scale one to five, how competitive are you? Have you seen Grant Cesar? Have you seen I want to hear from the horse's mouth. I got concussed. So just that, mm-hmm.

All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcasts. You already know our get-down. If you grew up in our urban areas a comfort of struggle, you understand politics much more than you giving credit for. Fans taking over American cities,

government hop-out boys, hopping out the van, snatching up your Theo and them. Two wars that was supposed to be solved than 24 hours. Jerry just out here mandarin all over the place. The turfs. And of course, the Epstein of it all. Well, this week we decided to shoot our shot and boy, did we pull up from the logo to see if we could get somebody to come tap in with us. And the one and only Jamil Hill pulled up from this politics podcast to keep it a whole century. The American public is used to

being entertained. We're a consumption society. So what Trump figured out is entertain them and they'll never question you. the hood politics with prop podcasts on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast what would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth unfortunately for mark lombardo this was the choice he faced he said you are a number a new york state number and we own you shock incarceration also known as boot camps are short term highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training.

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From a very rural background myself, my dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I never envision being with a woman. I'll just be honest. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by basketball legend, Candice Parker, who stops by to discuss her candid new book, The Can Do Mindset, in which she shares why she waited two years into marriage to come out. Like, when I close my eyes at night, every night, I was like, I need to find my prince charming.

Like, it was never a princess. Like, that never entered into my mind. But, you know, as I learned, sometimes life gives you things wrapped in a package that you didn't expect it. And that was just, you know, and honestly, it took me a long time to be okay with myself. Make sure to listen to this week's episode of Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

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Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael

through a podcast network available on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I need to know. Do you cook? So you're very similar, Kathy. One of my, no, no, one of my fun facts when the thing came out was that I'm obsessed with cooking shows. Obsessed. Okay. No.

I love you, Alice. Kathy, you guys are twins. Alex. No, no, no. I cook for Kathy. Yeah, no. I mean, why cook when you can do anything else? Thank you. And you know what, Kathy, it takes an hour and you finish it in, what, five minutes? And then you want you to do your dishes in the sink. Yes, thank you. However, however, I'm a cracker jack dishwasher.

Like, I will do the dishes if someone cooks. Oh, like you'll do, yes. Well, that's courtesy, Kerman courtesy. If you're going to cook, I'll do. Thank you. Yes, it is. Okay. I'm going to change it up just a little bit. One word, describe your experience on The Bachelor. One word. Give me one. Mm.

Roller coaster. Ah. I know it's not an adjective. It's a noun, but like, rolling. I think that's actually fair. There are a lot of ups and downs on these. I'm the listening to the Bachelor. Because I started so bubbly.

It's like my real personality. And for some reason, as the weeks went by, I was like depleted and depleted and it takes all your energy it does and I could I like didn't recognize myself I was like this is not me like every morning I was like okay go like going with like you know being Alex and I was like and people are like Alex is okay like even you who took my happy so is there anything that you learned about yourself that you'll carry over if you're asked to go on paradise I think what I did I you know, this is, okay, before I left, I got one text from a friend, and it sounds corny

to say, but she said, be yourself and everyone will love you. And that's what I did from night one. I didn't, like, hide any parts of myself. I said things like impulse. And there's a lot of things that weren't shown that was like, um, coming out of my mouth. And the girls were like, oh my gosh. Um, and it shined through the screen. And, you know, people saw that, you know, it was just this, you don't have to, you know, if you're yourself the whole season, then you go outside. You don't have to, like, be someone you're, like, it's exhausting after a while. So did you change?

Did you come off the show different? Like, you know, I want to hear where your friends were on the show. Do you still see them? But how do you feel now? Well, one thing that, if I don't know if I understood the question, right, so I'll answer if you, it's not, please redirect me. One thing that my friends did say, or a lot of people were like, it's, it was so fun to watch because it felt like we were just watching Alex on TV, right? Like, we recognized you.

Yes, yes. But, and that really felt like, like, that I really. hearing that um and yes i kept a lot of my you know friends i'm really close to natalie i'm really close to chloe um and letia yeah so i kept really really close friends um that it's like an experience and you guys would know it's like an experience that you will never share with anybody else in the world i'm a little bit like if i do go in pairs i'm like there's too many fish in the sea if you're interested in him please go for him like i'm not i don't want to put a friend a girlfriend So tell us, after you come off the show now, has your DMM blowing up? Have you gone on any dates?

Mm-hmm. I have been on kind of like one date, one person that like I was like, oh, wait, this could be fun. And he's actually someone who's like so similar. It's someone who watched the show who then set me up with their friend and he reached out. And he's so similar to me. It's like literally looking in the mirror. And yeah, we've gone on a couple dates. It was fun. I want to know what made you go on. Did you submit yourself? How did you end up going on The Bachelor? So it was last summer. I'm driving with my friend and I get a message on Instagram. Like, hey, you would be great for The Bachelor. And usually it's all scams, right?

So they're all asking for like feet pick for like $20. And I'm like, oh, what's the same? So I look it up and I'm like, oh, I think it's legit. Let me just, okay, let's see if, you know, so we have the first interview. Someone reached out. And I am a big believer that not everything happens for a reason, but the universe working for your favor, right?

When you manifest and everything and my life, I had just, you know, ended a relationship that had been, you know, on and off for like five years. And it was just like the perfect timing. It was almost like the universe being like, okay, you need this to move on from this back and forth. Yeah. And that it just happened at the perfect time. If it would have been a year before, I was just not ready.

I was not there. I, you know, was just not my best self, I guess, and it happened at the perfect time. Wow. It's such, you know, things do happen. Susan always believes everything happens for a reason. Or a season. Or a season. I think sometimes things do, but sometimes it's just, you know.

It's a reason. You learn something from every experience, right? Every experience that you go through, absolutely. Okay, so I heard Susan's going to be. So I'm hoping both of you get asked because I'll be. out here podcast and going, I wonder what they're doing. Well, I can tell what I'll be doing. I'll be

ironing the clothes for the young ones. I want to know, are there other updates in your life? What, you know, is there anything we need to know? I am so boring. She's waiting for the call for Paradise. I'm waiting for a call to see if I am. Go to Paradise if I'm going to a beautiful, exotic

country. How hard is it for you to pack? Do you have all the clothes? I do have all the clothes. You all will forget probably half of my underwear. I'm always like, and I will bring something so irrelevant that I don't need there. What about the guy

that you dated a couple times? Do you have any feelings about if you're asked, would you tell him? Or would you just? No, he knows. And he's so supportive. He's like, I want you to have fun, to, you know, you're young. Like, I would never want you to do something for me. Because we just met, right?

Let's just be honest here. You and I are both leaving with a ring. and a date. She asked me today, I've got to check my ring size. Are you gold or silver, Kathy? Gold. That's white gold on your ring, isn't it? No, this ring is yellow gold.

Yellow gold? But I can go white gold. I can go platinum. You know what? Just find me the guy. I actually don't care about the ring. I just want the nice guy. And that is the truth.

True. I want the ring too, though. Who want the ring too? I had a great ring. I had a great ring. I had a great ring. Now I just need the great back. Here's one. Do you have any questions for Kathy and I?

Yes. Okay. What would be your advice, you know, going into, as, you know, I'm sure you've dated a lot. And what would be like your best advice to a 28-year-old and who hasn't, you know, found her person? We've already covered one, right? Be yourself. Be yourself. But also, a red flag is a red flag. If you see something, you're not going to change. Yeah. So just move along. You know, you can get him to put his socks in the hamper.

Yes. You get them to wear a polo shirt and set of a t-shirt. I have those red flags, Kathy. So those are, those are my, yeah. So don't, you know, you'll, it'll be a feeling. You'll know. I would say my advice to, I gave to all my kids and I'll give to you, do the things you love, be who you are and the right people will come into your life.

I love that. And I'm living proof. Okay, speaking of advice, we are going to go into the advice portion of our episode, and we're going to kick things off, Alex, with the question of the day, and we want your thoughts on it. So here it is. How do you determine if a guy you've started seeing could be right for you? What things do you look for once you've established a mutual connection?

Hmm. I'm going to speak with my experience. For me, I, you have to check in with yourself what your non-negotiables are, first of all, because if it's going to be someone long term, you want to make sure that you're seeing eye to eye. And people have made relationships work where you have different values, different political views. I've tried it. It wasn't for me, but usually you want to be aligned with those. And I think, you know, love is not always going to be feeling. It's, it's a choice. the person that you, you choose to, you know, have your life. So I think that one, that would laugh.

Like, for me, that's what it is. Like, if you make me laugh and you're a good person and you, you know, inspire me to do better things that are aligned with my values, like, I don't, you know, that's, to me, it's the, is a winner. And how he makes you feel what you feel when you feel when you're with him. Exactly. You feel good when you're uplifted when you're with them. But, okay, those are all the love romantic things.

but you know and you look for all those things but you also have to think about at your age you're building a career you know the guys your your partners building a career where you're going to live how are you going to balance careers how you're going to balance how do you I mean those things you have to consider as well absolutely absolutely and I think that's it's important to like establish that right away and if like you said if your careers are going to match if again for me if I want to look for someone who's spontaneous, I love my career, but if someone's who's too career driven, not saying, I don't want someone who's on the couch, but I mean, I want someone who still has that spontaneity and I feel like you need, you need to find a balance.

I think I'm going to circle back to what we said at the beginning is, for me, I can't be with someone who's exactly exactly like me because I said to Grant and he said, I'll always remember this. First night, I go, if I was with someone like me, I would be in Morocco with $5 in my pocket on a camp, right? like be like you but also will be able to balance you out so um i don't know and what about what they want in the future whether you want a family children yes that's what i mean by like the you need to know you you have to decide are you going to live in the same city are you you know those are things at your age in your generation so many more so susan than our generation truly

you guys have huge careers yes some of you work you know long distance remotely, whatever, but those are real concerns and raising family who's going to be home. I mean, all those other characteristics are important, but you really have to think about that. Yeah, you do, you do. Not immediately, like you've got to get a connection going first. And like you said, you have to have the gift of laughter. That's right. That's right.

But a serious side as well. Because even for like with my, you know, my past relationship, I think that's where we went at like a roadblock where we talked about. you know, our values and our beliefs. And we said, when we want to raise kids, that's going to be an issue, right? And it's not that we didn't love each other. It's just that because we had so much fun together. But it was just we thought ahead. And we said, if we have kids, I want to raise them this way. And he said, well, I want to raise him that way. And unless you're able to find like a compromise, and I talked about it on Bachelor a lot to grant is like, for me, it's a lot about compromising. Because if you're willing to compromise, then you can come to a middle ground. But if you're

not, then you're going to have issues, you know, your whole relationship. And your reasons are I don't, you know what, I think that is, again, Susan, I talk about how so many of the women from grant season, including you, not only you're beautiful, but you guys are smart, you're wise beyond your years, and you, you know, you have figured it out that compromising, that's the only way you make it through a relationship. Communication, compromise. It can't be cited, right? Because I think a lot of it, unless you're, again, it's, it all comes down to your non-negotiables, though, right? Like there's non-negotiables. What is your biggest non-negotiable? Um, I think for a long time, it was religion.

And now I'm a little bit more open to it. Meaning, we don't have to talk religion, but you mean it had to be your same religion? The guy had to be your same religion or? Or whatever my beliefs were in that. Yes. I don't believe or I believe. Got it. And I was like, you know, I, you know, I.

I was raised Catholic and my grandmother made me go to church every Sunday. And I just have a different relationship, I think, with my face now. But I starting, you know, it's crazy. You know, might as well talk about it. But this weekend, I joke with my friend. I'm like, I have a new, I think, how would I say this in English? I'm trying to find the words. I think, you know, it kind of pushed me away, I think, because it was forced when I was growing up.

And the last couple weeks or months. I've been just so, I've been just so grateful that I'm like, wow, I feel like someone's working in my favor. But you know what? Like at this stage of the game, as long as they have a belief and you have to respect theirs, same with politics. I mean, there's a lot of people today that will break up friendships over it. But you have to be able to give your partner the respect that he deserves and he in turn gives you something that you don't discuss then. It still can work even though you have opposite. thoughts about something i know and that's the thing with my past relationship we had different

political views and different religion so i think it was just a lot like i think i can do one but when it comes to like so many different things everything yeah yeah and it's something i have to work on is that i'm an instigator like if i don't like i can't understand your way of thinking i can't like i'm someone you can see both sides but sometimes i'm just like i think you and i are twins out i think so too i'm watching this okay i am watching this how are you how are like how do you Are you an insigator, too? Oh, yes. Yes.

Me too. She's a recording. I'm like, I can't shut out. I'm like, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say, well, what did you do that? I'm like, I understand what you're saying, but really? What were you saying?

Yeah. Well, let's talk. I think we're sisters from another mother. I'm up. Oh, my gosh. So fun. All right. West West,

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Get in here! Today, we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself.

Okay. That's us. Where is the head? That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Mycultura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

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And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives, knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing.

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where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so now we've got, we're moving on here because we have a question. Advice time. From a fan who needs some advice. You want to help Susan?

You want to go ahead and read it? This is from Carly. Hi, ladies. I'm really hoping you can help. I've been dating this guy for about two months and I really like him. He's a much kinder and healthier partner that any of. of my exes or flings. The problem is, he kind of gives me the ick.

I don't know if it's because I'm genuinely not interested in him or I'm just not used to sweeties. He says things like, I can't believe a girl like you would go for a guy like me. He doesn't say it in a way that's like sad, L.O.L. Or fishing for compliments. so it's not that he's super insecure. I just feel bleh when he gets overly mushy.

Is there a way that I can talk to him about this without hurting his feelings or am I just like not into him? Thanks, ladies. I develop two opinions while reading. Yeah, well, what says you, Alex? Go first. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So first of all, I sympathize with. her because I understand where she's coming from because I think from a biological standpoint, we want the alpha, right? We want someone to like feel like they're the prize. And I think if he's leading with, I can't believe you would go with someone like me, well, we think, as I think as me anyways, I would think, oh no, like you're insecure, right? You're insecure, right? You don't want to go insecure. So your feelings are totally valid. I think a lot of women would feel the same way. But it doesn't mean it's not something that he can work on.

And you can just, I think, be on, like that, I mean, maybe I'm too blunt, but I mean, if you like him and he likes you, just be honest. I would just say like, hey, you know what? You're great and you should know that. And, you know, you don't have to tell me that. I would just tell him, like, just be more confident. Don't tell me that. You know, but that's me. I'm a little blunt with guys.

So I'm stuck here. I make me awkward. I would say makes me awkward. And then if a guy gives you the ick, are you? I'm stuck on. He gives me the ick. I'm out if he gives me the ick. Uh-uh, uh-uh, because listen, and it's fun that we're talking about this,

because I did another podcast where my words got twisted when I never said that Grant gave me the egg, but I said that the piano gave me the it. Because for me, I am not a musical person when someone serenades me on the first date. You didn't have a big. It makes me a little awkward. I'm like, you know, so, and people ran with that and they were like, well, Alex is saying that Grant gave him the it. No, no, no.

And I'm not a deal breaker. right and you can get over an ick you can and it's I used to get the ick from my ex all the time I mean like you don't have white in the corner of your mouth and I see your butt no no she said so you're saying it's it's an aspect of him that gave gives you the if not like I read it he gives me the yck all the whole that's what I took it but you're right maybe it's just that aspect when he says these things yeah and when he says all that mushy stuff of like oh I can't believe you're with me I think it's a psychological thing for her of like oh like is he not a catch like and i think that's what's giving her like i'm not into him like i couldn't

agree with you more and my my take on this though if you're my age you want that guy you want that guy that thinks you're all that plus some instead of the bad boy that we're all attracted to most of our lives you want the man that says wow wait excuse me Alex have you always been attracted to bad boys it's something i'm unlearning Now, granted, Alice, I was married at 20. I met my husband when I was just... Sorry? No, I was...

Oh, I do not like bad boys. I don't go after him. I don't go after him. I don't trust him. I want a good, solid, kind man. And that's what I had for my marriage. Well, at 20, I mean, I knew. I just...

And Susan, we've talked about us. Susan was always attracted to the bad guys. And I'm like, how long does it take you to learn that a bad guy who's messing around, you know... That doesn't... That bad guy doesn't mean he's cheap. like just a popular guy, a guy that is very sure of himself. Why are you calling him a bad boy then? That's not a bad guy. No, but there's something about them.

There's something about or getting the guy, I think that is so sought out for me. And you, I sawed after and he chooses you out of what I liked. I was like, oh, he chose me. You feel special, right? But I think you can get over the ick. I think if communication, if she communicates with them. And I know she said without hurting his feeling, how will you get? she's more worldly than he is he's a little bit it's they say not insecure but he is he never thought he could get a girl like that but you don't voice it you know because it makes it makes a girl think oh maybe he's not all that maybe what am i doing with him yeah instead say say something

you can address that without hurting his feelings that's the thing that i'm i don't know i would love a guy to say mushy stuff to me so i you know this is i got i got nothing there i'm like i'm like carly send me his name a number if he's inappropriate. I'll take care of him. Maybe she just felt uncomfortable because he was saying that. All right. Well, Carly, you've got to let us know. We want to know.

Yes. Inquiring minds want to know if you stuck with him. But I think we're all saying the same thing. Maybe talk to him kindly and just tell them how it makes you feel because that's good communication. And if you want it to be, you know, better than what it is, you have to work at it, right? Might be the best guy in the world. He might hurt him a little bit because he's, but I think at the end of the day, he seems like you're, he really, really likes you. So I think you'll just appreciate that you're communicating with me.

I agree. We all agree. We want to know. So you've gotten, we've gotten to know you a little bit better. We want to open the floor to you. Do you have any questions for us? Uh, you know, comments, concerns. Anything.

Anything. So fun. So fun. And I feel so bad because I was not a reality TV person and I did not want. I didn't watch. No, and I didn't watch a lot of this. Oh, my gosh, guys. But what?

Okay, tell me about your friendship. We met on the show. We met the first night. Yeah, the first night. I don't actually remember. I just remember. The picture, that's what we remember. That's what we remember.

Somebody, somehow we ended up in front of the fireplace in the mansion. And they took a picture and we were talking and we just hit it off. And then we ended up just coincidentally being in the sharing bedroom. And then, you know, I would never. I mean, Susan comes from a big Italian family. I mean, she's a shopper. She's a makeup girl. I'm just like, I want to go for a hike.

And she's a cook. I love to needlepoint. But I'm not a shopper. I want someone to make me look good. I don't want to take the effort to do it. You know what's funny, Kathy, is the first night, they ask me, what's one thing you don't want to do? And I go, don't bring me shopping.

I hate shopping. My gosh, I call this from the getting. echo you guys did you call it too as soon as you started talking i'm like the two of the when you said about the kitchen i knew yeah and i don't but i like to look nice and i know you like to look nice because of course of course that goes without saying exactly so that's that's how we made friends it was just initially it was just and then we're in the same room and we went through the whole show together i mean we stayed you know four and fifth row ceremony so we got to know each other you need that support when you go through a

But I will tell you, Susan has taught me, like, we're very different people. Anybody can see that. We're very different people. I'm a, I'm just, we're both very outgoing. And now, and now we're diverging because now Susan has a guy and I don't. I'm going to keep rubbing your nose in that, Susan, as long as I can. But we, we have fun together. Susan has helped me shop. She's helped me update. I'm getting a haircut again. You know, update my look a little bit. Remember your closet, Kath? When I came, I came to Austin, I married. I performed a ceremony for Kathy's son. What's that show? Where she would pick someone and they would like dress them up and then. I don't know. If that show's still around, could they pick me, please? It's on TLC, I'm pretty sure. Like after, say, after the dress.

Yeah. What not to wear. What not to wear. That would be me. I'm in her closet going, no, they got to go. She made me get rid of clothes. She took me shop and she's up me. And that's fine for me.

Yes. I'd rather stab myself. I'd rather And Kathy has taught me grammar When to say I or me And things, you know We pick each other I'm a word smith

I'm a word smith I'm a word girl Language Language, linguistics Love that Linguistics language Studied French So that's how this began

I can't speak any of them But just enough to introduce people You know But I love language I love language So anything else Um Yeah I guess

I guess I ask kind of like In the middle of the episode What was like one advice but we kind of talked about it. But, oh, it's great to see you guys, you know, just that friendship. And it's also motivating for us, like, you know, the friendships that we're going to make. Did you make some good friendships from your season? Yes.

And it's funny. You guys remind me of me and Chloe where it's like we're super outgoing, but like we're so different at the same time. Yeah. So this one, Kathy and I ask this a lot, if you were on a deserted island and you could only take three people from your season, who would they be? the two of them right now. And why? And you're looking at it? It would be Chloe, Natalie, and Latia. Say that again, Latia, Natalie, and Chloe. And Chloe. And Chloe. Interesting. Tell us why. Natalie's like my closest, like my rock. She, it's funny at one point, we were saying, if they decide to show the edit of me and Chloe, they're going to think, or me and They're going to think, oh, what kind of relationship was going to close doors?

They were either crying in her arms or I was like braiding her hair. We're like always touching. And then when she got eliminated, I was thobbing. And I was like, she goes, you're going to do just fine without me. And then the next day when I saw Grant, I go, you know, I was crying. But it's just because you said my best friend home. You know what? Honesty is always the best policy.

Right. I mean, I went home one rose before Susan. I was ready to go. I mean, Gary and I were not a match made in heaven or in the Bronx or in Queens or anywhere. Anywhere. Anywhere. But nice guy, nice guy, but not my guy. But I missed the girls.

I couldn't wait until everybody came home so we could talk. Yes. And we still have a large. Do you have a big girls friends that you're close with? We talk to all of them, but there's a certain. few of us that are every day talkers. Susan, Nancy, Kathy, Joan.

We're kind of are the, you know, the ones that we talk about. But we love, I mean, I talk to Leslie occasionally, we talk to Christina. There's a lot of them. We're friends with. Faith. I talk to faith. And Ellen, Sandra. We do. We talk to everybody. Yeah. And we have a big, do you have a chat chain? What, you know, we do. Yeah. And there's like some, little

subgroups of, you know, and I keep with Paris and Beverly. And yeah, Ali Joe, Oh, yeah. Yeah, we talked with Allie Joe. She's adorable. Yeah, she's great too. I always, this is my thing. Jersey girl. Always feel that every morning. Anybody wants some coffee? I loved it. I'm like upset with that.

Who's up for coffee? I'm like ASMR in my ear. That's the accent. You know, you could have done that you could have helped you with that accent with your speech pathology. You know, I don't want to get rid of her accent. I love it. Coffee. Coffee. It's coffee and water. And water. I love the rass. Water. Water. Yeah. well this has been so much fun oh my gosh i had a blast guys i hope you both get called i really really do i cannot wait to hear the stories i love this and i really hope that both of you both of you

find your person you're in love susan yes it's wonderful this is what we want at the end of this is that's right that's right and it's when i least expected i was on vacation with kathy actually Oh, that's how they met I introduced them in French He doesn't speak English He's French He does not speak English Because of you because you knew French

Well, I don't No, no no I was just they had a translation French, Spanish, English I just introduced them You know Everything happened for reason I mean everybody can say

Enchanté Como buzapé I mean, come on Hello Bon Appetit Yeah, bonapete Bonapete Ambiento

You know Toulou Cibou play. Anyhow, I hope you find a French, Italian, German, Irish. I don't care who he is, but may you both be matched. Not together, though. Not together, Alice. That's all good.

It's all good. This is so much fun. I hate to say this part, but I think that does it for this episode. And we're going to have to say goodbye. And thank you so much for joining us. And for everybody out there listening, this is going to be it for Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. and thank you to our lovely guest, Alex, for joining us and dishing out some great advice. And if she does get asked and finds her person, we will definitely have her back on.

Absolutely. And we really did love getting to chat with you. All you ladies are amazing. You are another strong, beautiful, intelligent woman. So celebrate that. Thank you and everyone else for joining us and be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out every week. week. You don't want to miss one. If you enjoyed this, we got more coming your way.

We sure do. Make sure you keep submitting your questions to us. You can go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour or you can DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, take care.