Bachelor Happy Hour - Finding Your Power with Demi Burnett!

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Today on Golden Hour, Kathy and Susan are joined by one of Bachelor Nation's LGBTQ+ icons and disability advocates, Demi Burnett! Demi is here to share her vibrance and transparency with our Golden women! We kick off today's episode catching up with Demi. Then, we get into her thoughts on what Pride means to her and how Bachelor Nation has supported her coming out journey. And of course, we get Demi's advice for our listeners, including how to navigate dating, socializing, and living life with autism! It's an incredible episode you won't wanna miss! Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics and on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents. and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics

on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Just like great shoes, great books take you places. Through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robeye, and this is bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. The new podcast from Hello Sunshine and IHeart Podcasts,

where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page, and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TVR pile. Listen to bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.c.O. forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more. more. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thank you so much for joining us again. We're so

excited to be back. We are always so excited to be back. And I don't know, Susan, what people are doing. But if they're not following this podcast, you need to. You need to never miss an episode. All you have to do is search for Bachelor Happy Hour. in the podcast app and then hit the follow button. Yes, it's super important to follow the podcast because you're going to get notified every time we put out a new episode. And while you're there, you can leave us a review or send it a question. We'd be happy to talk about it.

And please check out all of our past episodes. We've just had so many incredible guests that I know you'll want to listen to those episodes and we've been having fun answering your questions. So please keep those coming. All you have to do is go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour. And we will be happy to answer your questions. We have some great questions to get to today, too. But first we want to introduce our very, very special guests,

and she's so special to me, Bachelor Nation star and longtime fan favorite Demi Bernard. Hi, Demi. Thank you so much for joining us today. I love you. I love you. I'm so happy. I'm here. I miss you.

We just did a little show together that everybody will know in the fall, hopefully. But Demi, this is my BFF, Kathy. Hi, Demi. My partner in crime. You are as gorgeous and adorable, as Susan said you are. She said she looks just like Barbie, and I have to say you do. Thank you, thank you. You guys are adorable.

This big, Kathy. This big. everything she puts on her body works no matter what it is. I mean, it's just adorable. And she's got fabulous hair. Can I just, before we get into conversation with Demi, for those of you who don't know her, she's adorable, and she is the most incredible head of hair. And I do think, except for you and I, Susan, the prerequisite to being a member of Bachelor Nation is to have incredible hair. Hair. It's the secret to life. Like, I...

Oh, is that, I guess my life is over. I'm sorry. I don't mean that. No, I don't need that. It really doesn't matter. Like, as long as you're just confident and work with what you got. But for me, like, I ruined my hair at one point and it all fried off. And once I grew back, I was very appreciative of, like, taking care of my hair and making sure it, like, stayed healthy because I felt like it really changed my life.

But, again, like, my hair wasn't, it was fried off and disgusting and bleat. So, like, it really changed my look a bit. Like, you know? Well, let me tell you, you're back full force because it's gorgeous now. Thank you. Thank you. It's really all about just not bleaching it. You put bleach in your hair.

You ruin it. I used to get it highlighted once a year. Now I don't even highlight it at all. I almost, I cut almost all the blonde out of my bangs. Yeah, it's still blonde. You look free. I know. I know.

It's all good. Anyway, enough about my hair. These guys are so sweet. A quick question for you. You know, we all just celebrated Pride Month, right? So what does pride mean to you and what does Bachelor Nation support meant to you over the years? Oh, my goodness. Bachelor Nation support, it's the biggest thing that, like, it's the main reason that I could come out.

Like, they supported me so much that it bled into my personal life to where, like, people who normally would not have accepted that saw the support from bachelor nation and got on board um yeah yeah so like bachelor nation was like a crucial role in bachelor nation fandom was like a crucial role in the support that i needed to like come out and to feel safe and doing it in such a public way too because like i did not feel safe enough to tell people privately when did you come out i'm sorry when did you come out on bachelor in paradise that's right that's right in 20 i don't even know when that was 2019. Yeah.

And where are we today? I mean, I'm just alone. Join the club. I said when I asked her, what about the boyfriends, girlfriends, anything? She goes, no, I don't date. You don't date at all? No, no. It is, all it is is trouble.

It's frustrating and it's just toys with your emotions. Nobody's really ready right now to date me. I mean, like, I wasn't ready to date for a long time. And now I feel like people are not ready to date. me because I don't know. I love my life as it is. Like I love what I do. Like I love how I'm able to just be myself wholeheartedly. And like all I would want is somebody who's going to add some kind of benefit to that, you know, not to ever take anything away from it. Amen. Amen. Yeah. Well, you sound like someone who really is a lot older than your years because people say, oh, I just want a man to

complete me and the truth is you want to be a complete person yourself which you seem to be and then have the guy that just compliments you or the girl that compliments you whatever we all want that right right yeah and i mean don't get me wrong there is this deep desire inside of me that is secretly like i just want someone to come and just take like take care of me and fix all my problems and like then i'll feel complete once i have a part that is exactly what i need did you say feed feed oh demi i think you and i are a really I desperately need someone to feed me. But then there's like this, the bigger part of my brain takes over that's like, you cannot

expect anybody to be feeding you, like a partner. You can't, you need to have a system worked out for yourself already to where you're, like, because I have a hard time eating, like I need people to help feed me and whatever. But I can't like be expecting that out of a partner, you know? Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop. You're saying you have trouble eating or like, like. going to get the food in front of people, she has an issue. So I would make her a plate and she'd be happy and eat it.

And it's really uncomfortable to ask people to help me like that because it sounds so ridiculous, but I'm like, I will literally never go and get the plate. I will not eat. And it's not on purpose. It's like my body is so anxious. My brain is so anxious and it's avoiding that situation. It's just to protect myself. But from what?

Nothing. Like probably there's just a lot of awkward social. interactions that are happening in the kitchen. A lot of people that I don't really talk to, and I'm scared I might say the wrong thing to. They might perceive it wrong. And now I'm like having this misunderstanding. And I was just trying to get some meatloat, you know?

But at home, you feed yourself fine. Yeah. At home, I have like my own systems and whatnot. Like, and I mean, if I, sometimes I don't. Sometimes it's so hard. Like, but lately of what I've been doing is I've just been making sure that I eat something for breakfast and I eat something good and like wholesome. so that way if I don't eat lunch, it's okay

because I know I'm going to hit dinner because I can't go to bed without dinner. I just can't understand either one of you. You can both do that. I eat several meals a day and snacks. If they were put in front of me, I would eat them. Wait, can I just tell you Susan and I will talk on the phone at night sometimes and she's in bed and she's eating? I'm like, what the hell? Oh, I'm just having a snack before I go to sleep. I'm like, what are you serious? Like she brings a...

Yeah, she has bags of snacks at this thing we were doing. She was eating small chips in my nightstand drawer my husband did all the cooking and i honestly forget about eating i don't think about it's what it is it's like your my brain it automatically not on purpose it thinks about like the things that i need to be doing like my to do list and it's like eat automatically clean something you know like we're not doing that that's a waste of time yeah like fold that load of laundry i can't understand you too i can't i've done really good with my breakfast, and my dinner, and of course, I always have dessert. It's lunch that I have a hard time. All right. Well, I know that just from what I've read, that you've been really open

about your experience with autism and sobriety. So tell me how you're doing with all that. Great. I'll be three years alcohol-free on July 24th. Congrats. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations. Thank you so much. And the autism thing. you know, it's going great. I feel like it's still just as impactful to people to this day. Like I still have so many people relating to the content I post about it and just replying to me with these messages, whether I'm helping them, which is like probably another AFAB, a woman like me out there, late diagnosed, or people's children, helping them understand

like their children's behaviors just by like hearing the reasoning behind mine. people's husbands, that one's been the most interesting to me. Because I'm like, yeah, like, because I can understand so many, like, kind of like narcissistic or mean men in my life. And I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm undiagnosed autism. And, whoa, whoa, wait, can you break that down for me? Yeah. What you just said. I mean, can you just explain that a little bit more?

Yeah. So, like, autistic men can present, not all, but it's kind of typical that they present emotionally. or lack of empathy. So a narcissistic person, you know, has lack of empathy. Got it. So that's kind of just like a similarity. You know, there's all kinds of. So many.

Yeah. Well, there's such a wide spectrum. Exactly. And also I feel like when you go undiagnosed autistic for so long, you develop a personality disorder because you have been traumatizing your brain repetitively, like telling yourself, like, no, you can't do that. that's not what you're supposed to do like put your hands down or like whatever it is um and so you're so you just you know created a very tight yes yes yeah very terrible environment for yourself and

you're not true to yourself whatsoever and so i mean it creates mental illness so once you know and you were diagnosed with this did you feel better knowing that's why i thought the way i did or yes but it also like took it took time it took at least a year for me to calm down. Like, because once I found out, like, this is like life-changing information. Like, my whole world was shattered and I was like, this is all fine. Like, I, I, there's reasons behind all of these things that I've, you know, I've ever had excuses for or something.

I'm like, no, this all makes sense now. Like, I just need to go about it different ways with support, with, like, a helping hand. And, like, it's okay to need help. There's so much shame behind, like, needing help for things. And I had secretly, like, every step in my life, I had. gotten with help along the way. Like there was never something that I did 100% on my own, like getting an apartment. No, I didn't do that.

Christian, the girl I was engaged to helped get this apartment for me. Like signing up for classes in college, all my friends, I would go to one of them last minute. Hey, Holly, what do I do? How do I hang up for the classes? Like, blah, blah, blah. I was always needing help. It was almost like you didn't trust your own judgment.

Like you didn't trust what you. No, I don't think she's saying she didn't know how to do it. I literally didn't know how. I had no idea in the anxiety of like trying to even get. started on that was like, like makes my whole body shut down and just like, I would never go. I would never

live anywhere. I mean, I haven't moved out of this apartment for five years. My rent is ridiculously expensive, but I'm not moving out because I can't make that whole leap. I would need someone to help me move, you know? Like, well, if you want to move, Kathy and I will come out. I'm right. I'll call Susan if I want to move. I know. I'm a

cracker Jack Packer. I just tell you Demi, I can pack anything. Oh, yeah. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is. her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamil Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode

politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge, but we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents, and there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives. knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years, but their legacy or their failure to stand up to

the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just like great shoes, great books take you place. through unforgettable love stories and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of like butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay, and this is bookmarked by Reese's Book Club, the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and IHeart Podcasts,

where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page and off. Each week I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your talk. TBR pile. Listen to bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.c.O. forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more. Do you have any words of wisdom for others dating with any type of invisible or

visual disabilities whether it's autism or whatever do you have any words of wisdom for people that are trying to date yeah um i think that i get asked a lot about like uh if i'm neurodivergent should i be looking to date another neurodivergent person like another autistic person or like does it matter what and i think that the bottom line in any capacity of whatever you're looking for someone the most important thing is somebody who is willing to listen to what you say about yourself respect it try to understand it further and be considerate of it and never like use it against you or doubt you on then you wouldn't have a problem right but let me say don't i think that's good advice for any dating situation exactly exactly yeah it really is and um it doesn't

It doesn't really matter. You just need someone who's willing to understand you and in your way, not their way, your way. So that leads me exactly to my next question, which is what ways could a partner show up for someone with autism that you think would be supportive that would show how supportive they are? What kinds of things? Yeah. So I could just say like something that someone does for me, my friend, Cecily, she's like my right hand man. like before we were about to go to an event or something we just got ready

right at the door she'll have her tote bag because she knows I don't want to carry a big bag she knows I just want to have my cute little purse that matches my outfit so she has a tote bag and she's like hey I've got your headphones in here do you have your loose earplugs let's get snap water like she just gets me a support bag she'll even like if she finds a cute little teddy bear she'll tack it onto my purse or something

because we tarry our animal yes we love cute little animals around here we had little friends on the show and then this giant teddy bear bigger than life i can't wait for it to get here i hope they sent it to me um so like whatever special interest your partner may have like if they're autistic and you know like they like cutesy little things or you know whatever they're really into showing them that you notice that about them by either talking about it or getting a little gift in regards to it but really it's as simple as just bringing it up in a conversation because it's a special interest and that gets us able to talk like it's hard for us

sometimes to have social conversations when for me if i'm like not interested in anything anyone's talking about or like i don't know i wasn't there or something you know and i'm just like desperately trying to insert myself without being so weird and but if it's like that's why a lot of times i can grow out with the guys we could talk about video games or like we can talk about some of these shows that I've been watching because I watch a lot of shows that I guess were more male-focused audience, but still completely wonderful for females to watch as well. But I just have, I love to just spew my special interests like that. So just noticing that about an autistic person means so much to us. And also taking our sensory sensitivity seriously, like our sound sensitivity,

like it's so nice to me when somebody it's just like hey dimmy there's about to be a loud sound just so you know I'm like thank you thank you so you're not startled yes because it startles you inside and you're like and your stomach drops and then you're like yeah and you're like why is nobody else so freaked out by this

okay I have a question for all three of us okay everybody's going to talk about this one do you think it's important to take breaks from dating or the pressure of dating Do you think it's important? Like, I know for me, I was on dating sites forever,

and the best thing that ever happened to me was going to do the Golden Bachelor because I took a big break. And when I came off of it, I really wasn't interested in going back on the dating sites. The people on the dating apps have never turned out well for me. They've all been kind of slightly aggressive, you know? Like, they've got an attitude.

I'm not here for any of the dating apps. I think it's so important for especially women because I feel like we are so molded when we're young that our whole life is about being a man, yes. Yeah, finding a man being a wife and mother. That's it. What about what we like? What about our interests?

We have to establish our sense of self. We have to have hobbies. We have to have like a safe space, like you know, your own little nest or whatever. You need to have people, not even a bunch of friends. What makes you happy? Yes, yes. And you can't ever let that go. And I think that's the problem, though. I'm with Susan.

You know, I really haven't dated. I was, I mean, literally did order what she said. I was on the dating now. I haven't. I really haven't dated since I came back from the Golden Bachelor. I'd like to. But, you know, I think people were open to it. I think some people misunderstand who I am based on what they think I was like from the show. But that's a whole other story. But I think. In taking a break for me, it affirms my knowledge that I'm good. I'm a complete person by myself. Which is how somebody would want you to be that. You'd be the perfect partner because you're good with yourself. Well, I don't know. I don't know, Demi, at your age, if you have found that men want to be wanted and they need to be needed kind of thing. At our age, Susan, I don't think we're there.

I don't think that's important to us anymore. But these men, these men these days, they want flowers. They want, literally. Like, it's like that. It's like you have to prove yourself to them. And like, I see my friends doing it all the time. And I'm like, stop it. Stop cooking that man meals.

You're not even his girlfriend. Like, why are you trying to prove that you would be a good wife? Like, no, don't let them get your cooking. Is that what they're doing trying to prove they be a good wife? Well, if I cook some man to meals, because I like the cook. I know. I know. That's true. That is very true for you. No, my friends are picking up cooking as a new hobby all of a sudden. And I'm like, oh, God, I'm screwed. How many times if I begged you, begged you to cook for me, begged you to make me a meal and you never did, but you get a boyfriend and all of a sudden, you're a chef? She's a chef every night. I mean, she's a chef every night. I mean, she's having fun doing it now. Yeah. That's what I mean.

So that's okay. Yeah. I'm happy for her. Yeah. You can't judge what works for other people. I just know that I have become much happier and I'm okay being by myself. I'd like to find somebody else. I feel the same way.

Like I'd like to, but also like I'm happy with myself. Like, yeah. There's nothing wrong here. Yeah. Do you and your mom ever talk about it since you're both, you know, starting a good relationship together? Do you talk about dating? Does she talk about it with you? Well, I'm really anti-her dating, like 100%.

Why? Why? Because my mom has an illness with men, and that leads to her being in prison. Like, every bad decision she's ever made is because she's ill with a man and, like, is doing everything because she's, like, obsessed with this man. Obsessive compulsive disorder runs in my feminine, my maternal lineage. And most of them have it by, like, they put every single piece of their clothes in plastic. bags in the in the closet and they clean until 4 a.m. every night. Like her obsessiveness is over a man. So she internally obsesses in compulsive behavior. Like I mean, it's just sickening to me. And so I guess what I guess the short answer here is Susan. She doesn't really take her mother's

advice on anything to do with dating. I'm just going to go out on the limb and guess that. Absolutely not. Well, that would be one not to take advice from. is your mom was she married my mom was married to my dad and then they divorced when I was three and then she was married to this other guy for a little bit and they got divorced and then she got made married by law

to another guy dirtbag again and now she's single but I think she's maybe dating someone but again I think it's all bad news and it's heartbreaking because I just think that she needs to focus on herself like girl you just got off probation do you guys have a decent relationship we absolutely started having the best relationship once she got out of prison this last time and it's so good it's so

very good but like it is being tainted by her new relationship that she's having because i lose trust in her i she has a pattern and you've seen it and watched it sure and me and her mother talked about it because i called my granny and we literally hashed out for hours talking about how this is the pattern and it's happening again and like there's just nothing that we can do about it also like my granny doesn't help but she's very controlling and like so that probably is what created this whole issue to begin with at the very beginning of it all it all stems from something but who are we to try to figure it out yeah and it's no it's not like it's not like it's anyone's fault like that's the thing is like I feel like whenever I say stuff like they could take offense to it and it's like I'm not

trying to be like you did this I'm trying to just like explain and so then we know what we can do now like so if we know for being controlling we know now we need to just let go like i'm not trying to shame them for it but it's very hard to it's hard for me to express stuff like that with the with tact like because it's just such a hard thing to deliver to sensitive well i think mother-daughter relationships can be tough anyway and add in all this i mean you know just it's tough it can be tough do you have a daughter i we both have a daughter we both have two sons we each have two sons and we each have one daughter we both have three kids each and my daughter is my youngest and she just had her first child and you know i took it as a great coup she told me the other night that um i was right because i used

to say to her when you have a child uh our relationship will change don't you love that when they come back she i told you this susan she admitted the other night she goes mom you were so right like she really needs my help and uh we are much closer now because there's nothing like having a child of your own to realize that your mother wasn't a mean bitch isn't stupid and didn't grow from underneath the rock yesterday oh wow what a realization so that's so you know yes we are very close but we are we are close but we had we had our times I'm very outgoing and my daughter is not you very you have very strong

personality and I love it like yeah I can tell like you're not going to back down from you know like you you say something because you meant it because that's it. So, like, I can see with a child, of course there's going to be a little. And my daughter is much more like my husband, you know, much more, she's quieter and more easy going. But I think Susan, that's why

you and I get along. We're both very strong personalities. But I think men, we've talked about this, I think men struggle with women with strong personalities. Definitely. And, you know, I'm kind of watching something on Love Island right now. And I could be totally wrong about it. But

there's this guy and there's this new girl who just walked in and she's super beautiful and then there's this guy who's kind of like the hottest guy there and like I really thought he was going to go for this like new hot blonde but he was like avoiding her and being so weird and then when she tried to talk to him he was like kind of being rude

and I'm like he's literally so intimidated by her that he's like not even he's going to not even fry because he's afraid of that I think he's afraid of that chance of rejection because he's not used to it yeah yeah so like if you go

for a girl who isn't like, I don't know, because everyone these days is a 10, but maybe a girl who hasn't been, like, a 10 her whole life. And so maybe she hasn't learned about these guys yet. Then they go in and swoop them in and then play their games with them, screw them all up, screw them

over. It's toxic dating cycle. Repeat, repeat. All these people just screwing each other over, ghosting each other, having sex. My boyfriend's professor, It's way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Jemel Hill, host to the Sports and Politics Podcasts Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head

held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years, but their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just like great shoes, great books take you places through unforgettable love stories. and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of, like, butterflies. I'm Danielle Robeye, and this is bookmarked by Reese's Book Club,

the new podcast from Hello Sunshine and IHeart Podcasts, where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page, and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.c.O. forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more.

So I think I read somewhere that you've been solid with it over two years. Is that correct? That is correct. Three years? Yeah, two and a half. Two and a half. Okay, and obviously you still are then? Yes. Okay, so you're a celibate?

Do you want to share? What do you mean? Like what made you choose that? I didn't even choose it. It just happened. Like I just, well, I guess after a year, I was like, all right, well, now it's going to really cost you to get in. I mean, you know, let me just say, Debbie, it's not the same thing.

It's not like saying, hey, I haven't had ice cream in two and a half years. I mean, the first year, we. easy. I just, like, it's a conscious decision to be celibate. Now I'm a little scared. I'm scared of what I'm like, hold on, I don't. I don't care of commitment. What's happening? I'm sorry, Tammy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so. I'm celibate. I'm so, but not out of choice. I am actively choosing not to have sex with people. And it is because I whenever I was in high school,

I was approved. Okay? Once I got alcohol, I became a whore and it was great and it was fun but without alcohol again i'm a prude again i just um i think that i would have a hard time getting to the point where i would be comfortable enough to really be enjoying it like there was one person the reason that's two and a half years is because there was a person who i was with once i got sober but i'd been with him whenever i was drinking so like i was still comfortable um with him in the bedroom and everything but with somebody brand new i I don't know.

I feel like it would just take some time and also it's like starting all over again. There's something sick about me that just is like I don't want anybody to have the satisfaction. You know, like I don't want them to be able. I don't want anyone else to be able to say anyone else because there's a lot of them that can say it to be able to say that they had sex with me. I'm just like, no, I don't want to give you that. I don't want to give you that flex because there are people who have at like girls who have been like, Hey, have you dated this guy? He told me how dated.

I'm like, no, we didn't date. We, like, hooked up one night in college. Like, what? So, like, no. I want to be able to say, absolutely not. Nobody is getting this cat. So, wait a minute. When will you be ready?

Do you have any idea? Because you said you do want a relationship. Yeah, it would just be when somebody, like, I trusted someone enough with that. Like, you know, like, really. That you were dating quickly. Well, we would take time. You're not just going to give it up. I'm sorry, Susan, I have to point out something here.

I've seen the flaw in this whole conversation. What is that? Demi is not dating. Correct, Demi? Yes. Therefore, she is celibate because she's only going to, quote, give it up to a guy she feels safe with. Right? The fact that she's not dating, we have, we have, Houston, we have a problem.

You have to date. I went out and there was a group of hot, men and women that were interested in me, I'd probably have sex with one of them that night. I probably would. Or if somebody just slept over and was in the first thing in the morning and they started grinding on me, I'm in. We're doing it, you know? Like, I can't resist that. But that's just like my food. Which is why you don't let anybody sleep over. Exactly. Exactly. Because my body wants it, but my brain is like, no, this is toxic, messy. This time is for you. That's right. Yeah. And you'll wake up one day and be ready, that's all.

Not just to have sex. I'm team slut, though. Like, I encourage everyone to be a slut. Go through a slut face. It's amazing. Can I just say to you? I'm mad at it. Wait a minute.

There are guys mentioning no names here that I've dated. And we've had this conversation. They're like, yeah, you know, I love this line. Well, you know, having sex is just a way to get to know you. I'm like, don't take a hike. Like, that is not enough. You got to earn this, boy. Yeah, I don't, yeah.

And for anything, just. to like make them earn something, make them work for it, because you know how hard we're working for them? Look at how beautiful women are. We're all tens. Oh, wait a minute, Demi. No, no, no, no, no, Demi. I hope to God you're not saying you're beautiful for men that you don't do your hair and makeup for men. I don't do my hair and makeup for men. I do it for me. I mean, I do it for me, obviously now, but like I'm saying in the general grand scheme of things. All right, let's be true. No, really? I do hair and makeup for men. The men that aren't out there.

It's for me, it's really for everyone, but anyone who's interested, right? I'll take it. Anyone, let's see. Anyone has a chance,

but they've got to do a, you have the chance you have to do something with it. All right, so give me an idea of a great date, of a sober date. Give me a great idea of one. Like,

if you were going to go out there. That involves like a little bit of adrenaline, like something stimulating, like, Go cards. Bungy jumping, bungee jumping? I would say something like a putt in an arcade, something like that. Laser tag is a little scary.

An amusement park, maybe. Golf? Something that gives us golf. Golf? I said you played golf in school. Yeah, I was on the golf team in high school. I know how to golf. I haven't golfed probably since then, but maybe I'll have beginners luck again.

But it's something you could do together. you're both doing something you can have conversation like if you go to a concert it's so loud you can't talk you know that's miserable and in a dinner date for me it is that sounds so scary too much that's too like oh my gosh you might as well bring the ring with you going on a dinner date this is serious like is it because of the food is it because of the eating thing oh my god that probably has something to do with it subconsciously i just want to say you two must have been hysterical on that show Susan's out, can't wait to figure out what she's going to cook next and who she's going to feed. And Demi's like, it's just more food. I can't. I just guess she would eat my food.

Yes, I would beg for it. There's chicken pellets. All right, Demi, we usually have this little thing that we read from people that wrote in and we give our advice. Would you join us and give your advice? Yeah, sure. Okay. You ready, Kat? This one is from Aubrey. She's 31. from Chicago. Hi, Golden Ladies. I wanted to reach out for some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for four years, and we've lived together for two. We both want to get engaged and get married to each other, but neither one of us is popping the question. I think we also both want

to have the experience of being proposed to. And as a woman, we are a little nervous about the whole proposing thing. I understand that. I know it is some social, wait, societal BS. Societal bullshit that is making us both hesitate. But I was curious if you had any words of encouragement or proposal ideas to help me get the ball rolling. I feel like I'm going to have to ask her first, even if she proposes to me later. But I just feel so much pressure to make it Perfect. And I have no idea where to start. Any ideas are welcome. Thank you. Love you guys. This is amazing. This is perfect. I propose to a woman. All right. Okay. This is right at my out. First of all, this is incredible. And I highly encourage the both to propose. I did that. And I would say that I was a little sour puss about it. And like looking back on it, I hate myself for being such a little ungrateful.

What do you mean sour puss? Why? Like I was like, oh, like I was, I propose. Like, I don't understand why you, like I was just being a brat of like, I, that was my thing. Why did you do it too? Like that I don't, I didn't know what was happening. It caught me off guard. And I just like had a little like brat moment with it. But like looking back on it, of course, you can see it so much differently.

And I'm like, I'm such a bitch. Like I should have been like you wanted to do it too. Like that was so sweet and special. Like, oh my God. What if she proposes and the other one does? It just accepts. So with this girl, like propose first, you know, obviously you're going to have to go first to the other girl's not. And the only thing that really matters about the proposal is really like the words that you say, like the way that you make that person feel in that moment and like show how much you know them.

You know, not just the things that I love that you do for me. Like I love this person. It just makes people feel really special. and then after the proposal you have a little conversation about like hey I know that you like we both kind of wanted to propose be like so I'm still going to be waiting for you

to do it like I can't wait for yours you know like give her that encouragement of like I want you to propose to and yet another difference in this pride month yet another difference in the hetero community Susan did you ever when Dickie proposed

to you did you ever say wait stop, stop, Dickie, hold on. Thanks. Yes, of course I'll marry you, but I want to now propose to you. It has to be at a different time. No, no, no, a different time. Not at the same time. No, I'm saying there was no.

Let me be clear, Demi. I could have been on the moon in a spaceship. I was never proposing to my husband. When he proposed me, I was like, get off your knees and put the ring on my hand. We're done with this. Now, when are we getting married? Like there was, did you ever think about proposing, Susan? Yeah.

After Dickie? No, after Dickie proposed. Because mine was totally different. We walked down a beach and Maui's, isn't this beautiful? He said, you know, this would be a great place to get married. I said, yeah, it's beautiful. We're just walking. And then five minutes later, he goes, well, I go, well, why?

Well, that's a proposal. Exactly. That's a proposal. Do you even have a ring? Yeah, but my point there, you go. You just prove my point. I'm Italian. I need to serenade out of the wind.

Where is it? I'm still waiting for the guy to get down. on his knee. Anybody listening? Be prepared to get on your name. I'm going to have to tell you Susan. You don't know this. My proposal was very romantic. He took me to a lake on his knees.

You'll make me the happiest man. We only have time for one more. So what do we tell her we're all in agreement that go ahead and do it? Do it and also make sure she feels safe to do it too. Like, you know, give her the encouragement to do it as well.

And proposal ideas, do something fun and creative. Do you know, do whatever. I'm a hopeless romantic, so I would think of the best things, you know. Yeah, yeah, the good grand gesture. Don't, you know, or to quote another famous quote, she says, you know, we hesitate. He who hesitates, in this case, she who hesitates is lost. So stop hesitating. All right, let's move on.

We have time for one more. All right. This is from Donna. She's 56 from Fresno. Hi, gals. I love you both so much, and I'm so excited every week when your podcast comes out. I wanted to write in with a question about my son. He is a very bright and sweet 29-year-old who has always struggled a bit socially. He has ADHD and severe OCD, but has so much love to give. Despite some struggles, he has a full-time job working in IT and recently moved out to live on his own. He's never been on a date, and he's such a lovely boy who I... A boy? A boy? at 29, sorry, who I know will make someone so happy one day. He has expressed wanting to meet someone but won't go on any dates with anyone. I've tried to set him up with, and he won't use dating apps to either of you have any advice

on how to encourage him to get out there. I also worry as his mom that people won't be kind to him, and he is such a sensitive soul. Ugh. Any advice is welcome. Thank you both so much. I got to zip it. What do you think, Demi? I would say that she needs to stop trying to set up dates for him

and stop trying to encouraging him to date. She needs to, the more she does that, the more he's not going to date. Like, you really have to just let him do this on his own. He will meet people on his own. He lives on his own now.

He'll run into some girls at his local coffee shop or something. You have got, like you cannot try to set him up with someone. I would never go on a date with someone my parents trying to set me up with. Or I would probably hesitate to go on a date. anyone tried to set me up with. Like, that's just, well. I'm going to say, Donna, I love you.

We're mama bears, you know, but your son is 29. He's not a little boy. He's a grown man. Give him the respect and freedom to find his own partner. Amen. And Donna, I know you're trying, you're trying so hard to be a good mom. Like, I know that this is all good intentions from you. This is just a different perspective that maybe you needed to hear.

Like, hey, he'll figure it out on his own. You don't have to worry about it, Donna. Demi, you're the best. Thank you so much for giving out such great advice. And you know what? That does it. This went so fast for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thank you again, Demi.

I can't wait to be in your company again. Kathy and I are going to come out and see you. We loved. I loved getting to meet you, Demi, and chat with you. I've heard so many great things about you. And thank you all out there for joining us. And be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. just if you enjoyed the episode today with Demi, you'll enjoy all the other ones that we have

coming out. So make sure to follow us. Make sure to submit your questions to us. You can go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, see you later. Ciao. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe. Find out how it ends by listening to the OK-stores. Storytime Podcasts and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, hosted the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics. On this week's episode, I'm joined by all-time great Hooper and basketball analyst Candice Parker, who gives insight into her candid new book, including why she waited two years into marriage to come out.

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