Bachelor Happy Hour - Former Bachelorette Andi Dorfman

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

The one and only Andi Dorfman is here! Andi, Rachel and Becca talk about Clare’s upcoming season, and Andi reveals the best and worst things about her time on the show. Then, Andi discusses how and why she started her Andorfins running club. Plus, Andi reveals whether or not she’d say yes to being the Bachelorette again if she were asked. Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Bachelor Happy Hour. And you guys, today it's a big day because it's our last ever recapping session of a Bachelor goat episode. I know. It's a good day because I think bigger and better things to come from here. But last night on ABC, we had the airing of the highly. anticipated Nick Vial's season, which of course, Rachel, we got to see you a little bit. So it's always so fun to watch. And then next Monday, we have our final episode ever of greatest

of all time with Juan Pablo's season, which will then jumpstart us into player season of the Bachelorette. And it's just crazy to think about that we've already aired 10 whole Bachelor Goat seasons because I feel like it went by really fast. But it was, I love the guests that we had on and some of the past bachelor's contestants that I feel like usually we would have never had the opportunity to bring on. So we have to think the recapping of the old seasons to have these women on.

But, you know, where did the time go? It's crazy to think that Juan Pablo's season is going to be jump-starting Claire's season. And I cannot wait for the countdown to begin because I have a feeling first season is going to be one of the, as Chris Harrison would say, most dramatic seasons ever. Yeah, they need a new word for Claire season.

Whatever is going to, I've never seen so many rumors flying around, so much speculation. I mean, I get it. Times are hard. We're in desperate need of content and Bachelor Nation news. And so people are just creating their own stories. And I've seen some of them. I've seen some of them. And I'm going to be honest with you guys.

It's ridiculous. Like, let's just all take a beat and realize that it is not plausible for some of this stuff to actually be happening. Something you said too, Becca, Juan Pablo's season is going to jumpstart Claire's season. Who would have ever thought that would be the case, right? No one. I don't think anyone's not coming.

I've never even seen Juan Pablo season like full out when it aired. I wasn't watching the show then. But I've heard the horror stories. It's like once you start getting your Bachelor Nation history, they always talk about Juan Pablo season. And never did I think we would be seeing it again. And never did I think that that would be what started Claire's season for The Bachelorette. You know, like, what an interest?

You know what I mean? Like what an introduction to her season. So I think that just shows, you know, you never know what's going to happen in Bachelor Nation. They're full of surprises. There's so many twists and turns because let's just admit it. We're all crazy. And so you never know what's going to go. out. But yes, the time did fly by with this Bachelor greatest seasons ever. It flew and now

it can just fly away. We don't need to see it again. But it was great to reminisce. And like you said, and to be able to talk to like some of our the legends in this whole Bachelor nation world. And so I mean, part of me is excited to see Juan Pablo season and for multiple reasons, right? Like number one, Claire, right? We get to see Claire. her thing. We get to see the rise of Claire. We need to see her tell Juan Pablo off. And then also, we get to see our girl, Andy Dorfman, who also had an epic telloff from what I'm told of Juan Pablo. It seemed to be a theme of that season. And speaking of Andy Dorfman, not only was she on Juan Pablo's season, but it was on her season that we were first introduced to Nick Viall,

my ex-boyfriend. Remember how you used to say that? I feel like everyone's ex-boyfriend. He was a lot of people's ex-boyfriend. Tushay. Too-shay, more than anybody else can say. So, now, granted, listen, we were introduced to him like six more times, which is why you say he's everybody's boyfriend, right? After that.

But if it weren't for Nick, I wouldn't be sitting right here on a Zoom call, virtually talking to you right now. So for that alone, I love Andy Dorman, period. But I also love her for so many other reasons. I mean, she is my sister in the law. You know, she paved the way for lawyers on the show. And according to my, our DMs, our little bachelor happy hour listeners, you all love Andy just as much as we do. And that's why we listen to you.

We did. We heard you. And guess what, you guys. We got Andy Dorfman on the podcast today. So I can't wait to get her on and ask her all of our questions and your questions. Yes. I'm so excited to have Andy on. She is one woman that I met her for the first time in person at the Bachelorette reunion that we had last year and like instantly clicked with her. She just, she's just such a good like spunky woman. Just always like, she's just open to everyone. Like I remember watching her interact with some of the fans from like, I mean, because her season, what was? I don't even know. Like I don't want. want to like age anyone, but like five, six years ago. I think it was six years ago. Yeah. Six years ago. And, um, and it was so funny because like, she's sitting back,

she's like, no one knows who I am. No one remembers me on from this reunion. And all these people came up to her and they're like, Andy. And I was like, you're wrong. People love you. Um, but yes, as you said, we've been wanting to have her on and chat with her for a while now. And I think she's the perfect guest to round out the Bachelor greatest of all time. So if you guys don't follow Andy on Instagram, she has this amazing running club. And for somebody who doesn't run, I'm even inspired by her. It's called Endorphins, which is obviously a very cute name. It's a play on words.

And each day, she sets running goals for her followers, which got me thinking, Rachel, you know, I love a good club. I'm all about like, I started this random cross-stitch club like a couple weeks ago and then it really didn't go anywhere. But I made one cross-stitch and that was about it. So maybe I should pick it back up. But speaking of clubs, if you had one, what would it be? What would the name of it be?

What goals would you set for your followers? Because everyone needs a new hobby or passion or something to get started, especially in this year. Yikes. That's a tough one. That's a tough question to answer. I guess the way I've, because Andy's killing it with her club. I mean, I'm like you back at. I even was like, you know what?

Andy does it. She looks awesome. She seems like she's in great spirit. It's, you know, like, it's also about the way you feel. Yeah, so, like, what Andy's doing, it's, like, taken, like, caught on, like, wildfire, and it's, you know, a cross-country thing. It's crazy that she moved from New York to L.A., too, because it's almost like she's taking the movement across the country. So I guess when I think of clubs, I think of the purpose of them. Obviously, it's to create a community, but I also think it's about accountability.

And I'm saying all this to say, if I had to pick a club, what would I want to create a club? what would I want to create a community of and what is something that I struggle with with consistency and I would want people to hold me accountable so I would start a meditation club I really have found meditation to be so extremely helpful for me and to also help me set my intention throughout the day and the mindset because if if there were a spectrum of being positive and negative I lean more towards the negative side and a super negative people call it being real being we're realist and brian is the most positive person ever and so it's a good balance and i'm aware of it more but if i set my intention through the day and i i take 10 minutes out of the day to meditate and really focus it really

sets changes my mindset throughout the day because i'm always going back to what it is that i had centered my intention on at the beginning of the day so it's just helped me relax and release and be in a more positive mindset and I've just really found it really beneficial and there's so many ways that you can do it whether for me it's sitting outside and doing it in the morning whether I do it through prayer or I do it through yoga or sometimes I just randomly do it throughout the day

like while I'm walking my dog it's great but if I had people holding me accountable for it like did you meditate today have you meditated maybe sharing what their intention was I think that it would really help me stick to it every single day well but you do that's i well i first of all love that i my mom as oh my god i just said that like i'm english my mom my mom meditates every day and um she she puts herself in the computer room in her little office and she listens to this 10 to 30 minute audio book on her computer and i would always walk by like when i was staying back with her in minnesota i'm like okay it's my quiet

time like I have to walk gingerly like I can't bother her but I props to people who can meditate and do you I cannot I don't know like I just can't shut my brain down I wish I could I wish I had it in me so maybe maybe Rachel I could be your first follower meditation you could I don't know what we would call what we would call ourselves I'm not sure about that but I think if you do it in the morning it because yes you're thinking about what you have to do for the day but if you carve out that time that for me that's when I found out it's the best or like walking the dog when you have to do those things but also as as my first member in the club yes I would say don't try to start with like big minutes start with two minutes okay one minute and then just

build on that you know I'm going to make you hold me accountable and check in with me every morning be like Becca did you get your two minutes in I'm going to need it I think I might I think I might Well, I love that you said that you wanted something that has purpose and that can be held accountable. When I think of a club, like, for me, I just think of something that maybe, I mean, I think of, like, things that I enjoy that I really love. And two things that right now come to mind are cooking. Oh. And I also am like, I don't know what it's been in the past year. I love true crime and, like, murder mysteries.

and I've talked about this on my Instagram with like I follow another podcast called crime junkies but I feel like if I could combine the two you know because like every day I'm cooking like that's where I spend a lot of my time is making meals I just enjoy it and so I think it'd be fun to start a club where like even if it's with my sister whoever wants to join we could just like do Zoom calls as we're like making a recipe together and like talking about true crime like each week we would like you know you're making your raviolioli talking about Ed Gein. I don't know. It really has no concept. That's just what I'm going off of right now. But I just love those two things. I don't know what I would call it like

crime in the kitchen or killing it in the kitchen. I don't know what it would be. Something like that. But I feel like the more people I talk to when I like listen to my my crime podcast, like people are fixated on it. And so I feel like it could really bond people and away like a weekly check-in where you're like making something fun and drinking a glass of wine talking about serial killers. Who knows? I did. I love the names.

Killing it in the kitchen. I don't know. We'll finesse it. We obviously know how we do with names on this podcast, so we'll see. Like I mentioned, I did start a random cross-stitch club. The only member, as of right now, is Tia Booth. She wanted to start

it too. I don't know if she's actually like a legit member because tia if you're listening i don't know if you got your your string and your cross-stitchin materials but um that's something i could definitely i'm just i'm not good at clubs like i'm not consistent so i just need some people to hold me accountable and keep it up yeah i i mean i like which i'm not into the true crimes i've tried but i have a lot of friends that are yeah and it's a big community of it i feel like i need to give it another try so you know hey join my club i'd I'd start with you. We'll join each other.

I'm always, you know. Yeah, and well, here's the thing. I'm always trying to make cooking sound be more fun. Like, I just don't enjoy it. So maybe, you know, if I'm killing it in the kitchen, yeah. Maybe I'll enjoy it a little bit more. We'll, like, have chefs join in on these, like, virtual Zoom calls.

And as we're chopping up carrots, we're talking about, like, the Golden State Killer, whatever it might be. Entertaining for all. Oh, my gosh. This sounds gory. Okay, see, maybe Becca and I need to give this some more thought and we should just leave the club thing to Andy.

Somebody who's killing it and who's been pretty successful with creating her own community called the Andorphins, which I just love. Do you know I even had her actually, like I got so inspired. I was like, hey, I'm not really, I'm a sprinter. I'm not a long distance runner. My knee locks up when I run for a long time. Can you create something for me?

and she did she took the time to create her own plan for me and i never did it i'm pitiful i'm i'm like i'm i never i still have it saved and maybe since we'll both be on the west coast we can i can do it start it together back to someone who's killing it killing it not in the kitchen but maybe killing it on the pavement in the streets in the streets in the streets um so aside from the and orphans annie has so much going on she's a new york times best selling author How many people can say that, okay? Not once but twice, okay? She's a fellow former attorney, my sister in the law.

And like some other people I know, she's made a big move to L.A. Needless to say, you guys, everybody, welcome. You asked for her. Here she is. Let's give a big round of applause to Andy Dorman. Welcome to the show, Andy Dorman. It's about damn time. Yes.

Andy, it's so good to see you. You are looking great. For all of our listeners who can't look at her right now, her hair is long, her skin is glowing, you're looking lovely. Amy, how the hell are you?

I'm good. It's got that California sunshine. I don't know. It's going well for me. Took the move from New York City to L.A. I've been here, I think, like, officially two months. How long already?

Yeah, two full months. Okay. moved in a new empty apartment, but I've got the beach and sun. I feel like I've got some color. Like, I feel good. How has the adjustment been from New York? Um, I mean, other than realizing like how much stuff has to be done, including like my stuff from storage, getting moved furniture, like starting over, looking for our house, looking for a car, which is all stressful stuff. The fact that like I get to be out here on the West Coast, it's like a whole new chapter of life is exciting for me.

So I feel like the excitement probably outweighs all of those stressors. But I definitely do get stressed about that kind of stuff. Like I have the moments in the car where I just start crying because the movers are delayed a month or whatever it may be. Talk to me about this cross-country move because I'm literally shipping so much stuff from Miami to L.A. right now. And yeah, we'll talk about that. But it's interesting what you say.

I never, I get the New York. hustle and the mindset and the moment you hit the streets of new york you feel like you feel motivated i i there's there's nothing like if you've never been when you go you'll feel it you're like shit happens here oh yeah but that's it that's it that's it that's all i can get in new york because and you have now made the move to the west coast it's totally just just think of your apartment alone you space the rent is like 60% cheaper You see grass, probably outside. I started planting.

Like, I just know, I have a full, I have no furniture, but I have a full balcony of plants. Like, I have plants. Like, what, it's insane. I won't say this. So I loved New York. I lived in New York for five and a half years. I went there kind of running away from broken engagement, which we all know about. And New York, like, gave me exactly what I needed.

I started over there. I, there was a grind. It was fun. I felt like vibrant, which was exactly what I needed. And I think with New York, there comes a point where you're just like, okay, I'm either going to stay here forever and risk the possibility of like waking up in five years and being in the same exact spot because it does kind of become like this cycle and, you know, or you just say, all right, I've had my fun.

And for me, it was like I'd had my fun and now new chapter of life. Like I needed to get away for that. Good. I want to ask, and I probably should ask this later in the interview, but we did mention that you are a twice over New York Times bestselling author, and you keep mentioning this new chapter. So is there perhaps another book in the works now that you are settled out in L.A., total change, total probably heart change, everything. There is. There is a third book coming. No telling exactly when because the thing called COVID happened. But yeah. there's a third book coming and a lot of it has to do with more of the reasons of why I moved out in New York City and why it was just kind of time for that change. And it's not just, it wasn't just the fact that I was there for five years. It's the fact that I'm 33 years old and I'm sure,

you know, we all kind of feel this way when you start watching people your age have kids and settle down and you start to wonder like, oh shit, what have I been doing this whole time? So the book is definitely going to be like a major departure from that whole single girl having her fun in the city, which we all know I did, into kind of more of this serious, like, what am I doing with my life? I can't wait. As fun as this conversation is, let's make it take a turn a bit. I know you don't want to talk about this, but we're going to.

How do you feel about watching Juan Pablo season? I imagine something you never thought you'd see on national television again. I mean, Andy. Yeah, but then I'm. again, I finally realized that, like, never expect that nothing's going to resurface when it comes to The Bachelor world. I mean, honestly, I'm probably not going to watch because, like, I already did it. I already experienced it. I'm glad it's not my season.

Put it that way. I'm glad that more of the focus is shifted on everybody else and that I don't have to relive my season again. I feel kind of bad for Juan Pablo that he's going to have to relive his. Hope my part is short and sweet. and that's it. Well, I will say, maybe there'll be breaking news in between. I'm hoping there'll be some breaking news that pops in for like my specific part.

Yeah. Well, you know, there's been, obviously we know Claire's the next bachelor and there's been this whole movement around like the moment Claire told Juan Pablo off and like she really stood her ground and was firm. But you also had that moment. Like I remember watching it when it aired being like, hell yeah, you go girl. when you were sitting with him after the fantasy sweet moment when you're like it's not okay like that moment that was another moment on his season where it wasn't just one girl who told him off it was multiple for very similar reasons and so it was such a good badass moment for you but yeah i'm sure

it's weird rewatching that and having to see him i mean the whole it's not okay thing it's like sometimes i love it sometimes i wish i'd never said it the thing with that moment though that a lot of people don't realize is like that was a season of built up of it's not okay so girls would go on dates and they have like major life stories to tell him whether it was about their parents or their childhood and his response was always like it's okay and it started kind of becoming a running joke but it was also annoying within the house amongst the girls and for me I think in that moment it was like wait it's just okay like I've been sitting here for days like contemplating how to do this and feeling this and going through the emotions.

And it's like, I kind of likened it if you were dating some guy for like six months. And, you know, you decided to break up with him and he's like, it's fine. Like, what? Like, were you just not invested? And so I think that's where the frustration came from. It wasn't about a language barrier. It wasn't about, you know, him being how he was. It was just like, how are you just okay with, you know, somebody's feelings and all that time?

And it just didn't seem to matter to him. Mm-hmm. I mean, you have, I've never met. or talked to him, so I have no idea. How do you think it is for him knowing that it's going to re-air? Do you think he even cares? I don't know.

He has the capacity to care? I do think he has the capacity to care. Like, I mean, the guy is not evil by any means, but like, I just think he's probably done with it. I think, you know, he had a choice kind of to stay in or stay out, and we haven't really heard from him very much, but.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'm probably nicer on him than I should be. well I mean enough time is past you know what I mean I saw him within the last year I didn't I didn't meet him because I mean I'm out here in Miami

and so is he I guess but we were all at the same event and he was playing volleyball so I didn't see him but his mother came up to me and like cornered me and gave me her phone number and was just like I would love to talk to you about how they aired my son's season and I'm like wasn't that like five years ago? I mean, have you not all moved on? Didn't he get married or something? I'm confused as to why,

but she was so concerned that he wasn't depicted in the right way and she felt I would understand it because I married a Latin man. And she was like, you know how it is. And I was like, it cannot be compared. I'm like, is it? Like, that was always a thing too. That was a thing too, though. That was annoying during our season was it was always the excuse

was always it's the Latin culture or there's a language barrier and it wasn't the excuse the excuse was that you just didn't really care about a lot of us which is fine but don't like waste our time and you both probably know that having been in the position where you're responsible for 25 guys and yeah you know you don't get to cut everybody on night one but there's a fine balance between like letting it go to a certain point and involving people's families when like you just don't generally care yeah yeah right why are you happy they're not showing your season because I wouldn't want them to show mine either. So, I mean, but I'm just curious as to like, I mean, I know why to your reason. A myriad of reasons. I mean, cool. Obviously the Nick part, it's like, okay, I don't need to

relive that. I don't like watching myself on TV anyways. Like, I cringe. And I'm just like, oh, that outfit choice or that remark, that face. Like, it's just, I don't mean it. I'm good. Well, on Bachelor World, but can I just say that you were my motivation as to how I wanted my season to end. I like, I did not watch your season at the time I was the Bachelorette, but you hear so much about different people. And I would ask questions. So I specifically asked questions about you because you were an attorney. And, um, and then like you had reached out to me too when I was announced and they told me how you got to send someone home before the rose ceremony. And I was like, adamant. I said, I will do whatever you want, but I want an ending. Before I even met the guys,

I was like, I want an ending like Andy season. I do have two people standing up there. And I think that's what bothered me and still to this day and like nick knows this that bothers about it is like he's always kind of like treated i would say kately in a nicer way publicly than me and i'm like dude i'm the one that like didn't make you get down on one knee like i'm the one that saved you from that and then you blasted me on live tv like i don't know why you're upset but yeah that was a big thing for me like i'm sorry but if somebody's going to pick out an engagement ring like i'm not going to let them pick out an engagement ring knowing that i'm going to say no yeah it's so crazy to think that because of

Nick, I am now talking to both of you. We also have Caitlin because of, like, he brings people together in such this weird way. And Andy, I wanted to tell you this because, so when it was my season, I met Rachel, Caitlin, and Jojo. And they

gave me this Bachelorette Bible, like going into my night one with all the dudes. And I, so I recently sent it off to where they're filming the new season of The Bachelorette for her to have. But one of the notes, and I feel like you would so love and appreciate this was said if nick shows up just say no dot dot dot dot i have a photo i have a photo of it and i think i said it to katelyn a couple days ago i should

send it to you but um but it's just so funny how there's all these weird incestuous tie like rachel said it before like it's this incestuous family of like everyone's dated someone or knows somebody through and it's just like crazy to think because all three of you women are so different in your own you know i know yeah what is his tie? The Bachelorette? Yeah. Strong women. Strong women are in sight, for sure.

Whoever's the Bachelorette might be his type. But no, it's so true, though. It's so incestial. And I even think, like, people don't give my guys enough credit. Like, we got out of my guys, Chris Seals. That's still, he's still in the mix. Nick, obviously, on Paradise, on Caitlin's season, and as his own, that's still all in the mix. And, like, yeah, those guys are kind of the gift that keeps on giving.

Yeah, the whole, like, Marcus thing. I don't know Chris was on your season. Yeah, Chris Seals was The Bachelor after my season. Yeah. Yeah, because Caitlin's on the season. Okay, yeah, sometimes you're just like, it all like blends in together. So how do you feel about Claire being the Bachelorette? I'm excited for her.

I mean, I think it's going to be, it's hard because I know some stuff. I feel like it's going to be difficult for her. Knowing her and knowing how, like, emotional she is and how much she wants this specific outcome. And I've talked her about it and told her, you know, like the outcome's not guaranteed. I feel like it's going to be emotionally tough for her. Yeah. I mean, again, I'm trying to choose my words carefully here. I think we all are.

We had Claire on a podcast, and Claire was very, she's very, very matter of fast and she's a woman who knows what she wants and I think that that's a gift and a curse when it comes to entering this world especially when you're so far removed from it because you almost don't want to play along the same way that some people are to and then let's just add the fact that like it's Palm Springs it's hot the devil's the devil's on every single day with you and it's just like it's just too much you know so I think it'll be it'll be interesting I think but I I feel like and I don't know how the season like how how it all plays out.

But I feel like people will enjoy watching a Claire. You fell in love with her for a certain reason. And I think people will really love to see her take control. Because I think that's the type of Bachelorette she's going to be. Yeah, I mean, look, her motivation will never be questioned. Like, she is absolutely going in there to find a husband. And my advice to her had already, before she left, was like, look, I know what your motivation is. Like, you're on the right track with that.

No one's going to question like your reasoning for being there. But if that person isn't there, you don't have to, you know, manifest a husband out of this. Like there's no guarantee. So it'll be interesting to see. That's my only thing with it being tough for her is I don't know if she's willing to like open up a little bit and have this potentially not work out. And that's scary, by the way.

Like you feel like you've got one shot of this. We all know that feeling. Like, and some of us have probably made some decisions that, Right, based on that feeling, myself put it. And so, like, you think you've only got one shot at it and you think you have to have this ending that you come in with in your mind. And truth is, it doesn't always work out when you have that.

I think that's such a good point. And the fact that, you know, we're all past Bachelorette, we can probably all relate, like the pressure, which I think that's something people don't take into consideration when they're watching the seasons back is the pressure on you is astronomical. It's like you, you know, like you go. in knowing how the show works and knowing that for the most of our people usually get engaged and I mean obviously it's been a little bit different in some of the past seasons but it's a it's a hard

thing like especially for Claire to have had some more time off prior to filming like sitting in the quarantine and like being able to like look up the guys and know a little bit more to go in being like I you know I have to make this work some way somehow um and again yeah I don't want to say too much but, like, I just hope she does it in her own way. Right. So it's different for her way. It's so different. Andy, speaking of Bachelorette, if it was ever offered to you again, would you do a second time around?

Because the people are talking. The people are talking. I mean, I never say never. There you go. I don't think I'd be good at it the second time around. Then that means you'd be fantastic. I don't know. I really don't think I'd be that great at it the second time around.

Because you would be too, like you would know too much of how it kind of works or just more, what is it? I think you'd be great. I would want to watch you. I think, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I think I would just be more, more matter of fact. Like, I would want to probably cut 15 guys on the first night.

Right. But I think, the reason I think you'd be great is because they'd really have to step it up for you. I mean, you've literally written a book about living a single life and dating in New York, and you dated some heavy hitters. And so I feel like it's like, they couldn't, they couldn't just be like, no offense, but like, I don't want to, I'm not going to call out a specific job, but it's like you couldn't have somebody unemployed. You know, unless they have an inheritance with the trust fund. And I'm not saying it's not my take, really. I'm not saying that you're all about money. What I'm just saying is, it's like, guys would just have to, you'd have to step it up.

There's certain people you're willing to date when you're a lot younger and explore it and figure it out. But you're in a place in your life where you're settled and you know, and you're grounded and you know where you're going. And it's like you don't have time to date people who are all, who are trying to figure out who they are. That's, I guess, is what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out, like, whether it be an influencer and all that,

shit, I'm just like, oh, I can't. I don't know. That's why it would give you a great season if they could pick those type of men, the right ones. But I think also, how can those men take off? That's the other thing. It's like, it has nothing to do with the money for me, by the way. Like, I'm driven by ambition. Like, I think ambition is so sexy and a guy, like, I don't care what you're doing.

And so my question, and this is what I kind of thought about on my season. It's like, there's only a specific amount of people, men in particular that can just, like, take six to nine weeks off on work. Maybe if they had like a workstation at the Bachelor Mansion. How about that? Like something to it where it's like these people taking nine weeks off like, I don't know. And then put a hidden camera in the corner and see who's actually getting work done and who's like on their Instagram checking to see how many followers they have or how many girls are in their DMs. And I'd like to throw some X's in there. Yeah, yeah.

I'd like to have like five Xs to compare them to. But this works so easily because it's. right like as the lead we need to be the ones who are protected from searching on the internet so we don't look at our guys for the guys you're in you know what i mean like i mean unless you're going to google somebody to tell on them you know to the lead it doesn't really matter if they're on the internet as much you know what i mean did you quit your job i got to well i took leave but i took two weeks vacation and then i just came back eight weeks later was like sorry did you think you would be gone like night you know week by week where you're

like, oh, I'm still here. Like, because when I left, I was like, bye, Mom, we'll see you in two weeks. Yep, that's what I said, too. I packed the two suitcases. I actually, the first night, it kept getting later and later, you know how they have us in the hotel room

for the first row ceremony? And I thought for sure, by like 10 p.m., I was like, I'm definitely an alternate. I didn't even think I was going to make it into the mansion the first night. And then I was like definitely getting caught night one. Like, everyone has that fear, I feel like. And so I packed for two weeks.

I packed the two suitcases, like they said. everyone else brought like five pieces of luggage. I ran out of clothes like three weeks in. And I showed back on the work. I was like, sorry. Didn't realize I was going to be there that long. I think everybody does that. I definitely told my boss.

I was like, oh, yeah, black girl goes by really fast. I was like, I'll be sit home in like two weeks. Literally. And then I came home after nine weeks and then took another two weeks off. I was like, I'm not mentally ready to come back into the worst place. It's just ridiculous. Just ridiculous. Just sit a little bit, yeah.

So, Andy, you shared this post on Instagram that Becca and I both loves, and it read the three things to keep private. Your love lives, your bank account, and your next big move. So while we won't ask you about your bank account, never. You never speak of money. We are nosy, though. We are nosy. And we want to ask you about your love life.

we know we shouldn't but who are you dating we shouldn't ask this but who are you doing no one okay she has two suitors though from us yeah no yeah we've got a list we've got a single i love to match make i always brag on this i have set people up who've been married more than once i think i'm really good at this and yes i will toot my horn i think i am great at setting people up um but have you tried to date during the pandemic i mean i know you had a big move so that's a lot in itself it's like a whole life adjustment but like what does it look like to even date right now during the pandemic i don't know um i mean i always keep that i'm gonna regret that you got to keep people on the bench yeah you have to like maybe we're not playing this season but they're still

you know i still keep a roster i always always keep a starting five always Annie. I love to me. Sometimes you had to trade one out. Like, whatever. I just don't, the thing is with dating during the pandemic,

like, you can't go to a restaurant or like, you're not like meeting people at a bar. So I feel like, I'm kind of lucky that I've just moved to L.A. and, like, figuring all that out and starting new stuff with endorphins are like,

I don't really want a guy right now. But some of my friends that are single, all they can do is rely on the dating apps and, like, the internet. You're not meeting guys at a bar. You're not really, like, meeting them anywhere else. Yeah, no one can, I mean, in California, like, you can not really do much whatsoever, but I was going to ask, like, do you tip, like, when you go out running, do you ever, like,

stop and you're like, oh, he's kind of cute or, like, go up and approach anyone when you're, I don't approach them, but I definitely do like the look back. Like, I have no problem doing a long, hard look back. And then I'll just like, show up. I'm going to go running with you one of these days. Nobody ever approaches me, though, so maybe it's not working. well you know it's it's hot it's hot in california right now i'm like whatever it's good eye candy like yeah so speaking of endorphins and we talked a little bit about this prior to having you on

but i mean we personally think it's amazing we suck like i mean and you know i messaged you a couple of times like i've taken you on instagram like i cannot run more than two miles i don't know what my deal is i need you in my life to help me but like truly what you are doing is amazing and we've seen it just grow and grow and grow with each story that you're posting and Instagram in feed post and it's just amazing so I want to know more about the how and the why did you just cannot talk did you decide to start getting that going um I started during the marathon like when I was training I had like I had no idea what I was doing in the start I got paired up with a coach in New York City we did this whole training plan and I would just like

Instagram story while I was running and people kept messaging me with their stories and they, you know, started telling me the reasons they were running and they were really deep. Like people were either going through like postpartum depression. There were people that were having like dramatic weight issues or people that were depressed from breakups, all types of these things. And I was like, wow, this is actually like a community of people instead of just me and somebody that's reposting all these things or reading these messages. I was like, people want to hear this. So created the hashtag, which everyone voted on was endorphins. it's funny because thanks and it's like it's one of those hashtags that's used exactly how a

hashtag should be where like you click on it and it's everyone from around the world is able to put that tag on and you can find that inspiration from everybody else like it's not me sitting there being like hey go do this or go do that it's other people doing it and like I feel like you can see how proud of people are once they've accomplished like one of the challenges and I think that energy kind of just has been growing. It's been like a snowball and just getting bigger and bigger. And so I guess I could go ahead and give it away. But we're doing, I know, this is like an exclusive maybe.

It's gotten so big that like Instagram now, I can't just do Instagram. So we're going to do an Andorphist app. Woo! Yes! Your big time when you got your own app. Do you like it? Yeah. Yeah, that's insane. That's so cool.

That was part of the L.A. move, too, but I kind of keep it hush. You know me, I don't say anything until it's, like, done. I'll be like, peace at the airport. I'm moving to L.A. I'm like, no, this has been in the emergency for a month or so. But yeah, that's kind of the next move, just to let you know. But it's just cool. Like, I honestly, just the experience that I had from running the marathon,

and a lot of this is what makes up the third book. Like, I was in a very specific. like funk in my life when I ran the marathon and um just what it did for me is something that I just want to be able to give other people the opportunity like the way it changed my confidence the way it like just changed my life and so for me it's just that experience for everyone else how because you know I try to run I can't um so I'm just going to pick your brain because I'm sure that there's listeners out there who are kind of like me who they hit their two mile mark and they're like, well, I can't keep going.

And especially like in the LA heat, what advice would you give them to just keep pushing through it and like day by day just keep working at towards whatever goal they have? I mean, there's a ton of advice. Like, first of all, that's why we're doing the app with like the challenges on there so that you can kind of mix it up.

I mean, it's very easy to like for running to get mundane and you kind of peek at a certain number of miles. I think first of all, it's like setting goals for yourself. But also I see running less as like an exercise. and more of just my free time. Like, it's a one hour a day that I take for myself. I put my phone on, Do Not Disturb, listen to some music.

Like, it's my own me time. And so I think so often we get hung up on, like, what the number is or how many miles you're doing. And instead I just feel like, hey, I've got 45 minutes that I'm just kind of like devote to me. Like, I can walk it, I can run it, I can do whatever. But, like, it doesn't matter the actual number of miles. It's just like, think of it in a different way.

Think it as your own therapy, your own. therapy, your own moment of calmness. It's so true what you're saying because I was sharing this story before how I was like, Andy, I want to start running. I'm a sprinter. Can you please? And you took the time to design something for me

and I still haven't done it yet, but I think it. I say that I know. I called myself out on it. But it's interesting when you're saying you were running and you were recording yourself and so many people were giving you their reason for running. And I think that's so important because I grew up running track and I ran as a sprinter. So it's like always a goal. You're always trying to beat the clock. There's no purpose behind it other than to win. And I've never run for a

purpose except very recently in May. I have not run outside. I don't even know. I don't even know the last time I ran outside. But everybody was doing the run for Amad Arbery. And I was like, I'm going to get out and I'm going to run. And that is the only time in my life. I have run for something that didn't have to do with me. And it was crazy how the time, how fast. Now, I walked a little bit as well. But it was crazy how fast the time went. I couldn't believe it.

But yes, so I think it's so important. So to answer your question, Becca, I guess for me, what gave me the motivation, and it sounds like a lot of endorphins, was to have a purpose for running that was bigger than myself. And that's what mentally pushed me to get there. it really it really helps and it comes in like all different forms like even if it is about you or even if it's like I started running because I was traveling and I'd be somewhere when there wouldn't be a gym or whatever and I started running and seeing cities by foot and like the way you see even your own neighborhood by foot is so different than how you're driving by like sometimes I'll go off or run just like look at how it's like you know I'm not going to buy them yeah it's kind of just like incorporating like a run into things that you may or

may not already be doing like you see the world differently yeah and it's something that you like you said you can do really at any point wherever you're at you don't need weights you don't need bands you don't need a pair of shoes that's it any yeah exactly um and and before you got on actually rachel and i were to start a club what it would be and rachel to play into what you were saying like for meditation like it's even running could be that for you or for me because i wouldn't join your meditation club as well. Rachel, I feel like running would be great for you, actually. I know it would. It's just a mental block because I'm like very uptight. I'm very type A. And I know I would release a lot if I ran. I know it would. And I'm going to put this, I'm going to, everybody hold me freaking accountable.

I truly have no excuse being out here in L.A. with this one. I mean, I'm going to be a good mile behind you, but it doesn't It doesn't matter. No. That's a big. I have no shame. If you're a mile. If you're a mile behind, Andy, I'm like five miles behind you both. I also train to run a freaking marathon.

I hope I'm a mile ahead. I'm like, come on. Put me and find my friends so you guys can look for me. I bet I'm not far from you because I'm just like on the other side of the freeway from you, Andy. So it's probably like I'll run to you and then. No, but I run with my friends. you guys honestly like I'll run with my girlfriends that don't run at all and they're like oh I feel so bad it's like not a workout for you I'm like it's not about the workout like I'll stop I'll walk like if you look at

the challenges most of them have walking involved because it's just about like getting out there and I ran with a friend the other day um who did the brentwood loop and it's like two miles and she still wanted to go I was like you want to go one more and she was like I don't think I can do it like shit I was like we can just like walk if you can't do it she did it and she was like fuck I feel so good I'm like see like you never regret going to extra mile like you're never going to regret going for a I I have to ask are you when you run with like your friends or with anyone are you a talker are you a runner and talker at the same time I can be because I have one friend who back in Minnesota I don't think I am I'm not I'm like I'm just trying to breathe right now I'm trying to stay alive and one of my best

friends always talks and like wants to have this conversation I'm like can you just tell me a story and I'll run next to you and like go try to go at the same pace yeah no actually then I'm not a conversationalist when running I mean I don't if I run with someone I don't like stick my headphones in and listen to music but if I but I'm not sitting in there like talking the whole time I'd be completely out of breath yeah yeah no I would be like don't talk to me just just just don't talk to me let me just get for this please please that might make me run faster that might make you a playlist Rachel like you're doing it.

Oh, I know, I'm there. I'm, yeah, I'm trying to get. I'll try, yeah, I'll do something outside of my comfort zone. You're getting the Peloton. We talked about the Peloton. I'll do the Peloton. Oh, no, no, no, no. Do you do the Peloton?

You hate yoga. You hate yoga. You don't like yoga. That's what I'm doing, ma'am. That's it. That's it. She can't stand yoga. No.

Right behind me, I have three yoga mats. move all of the furniture. I got the hardwood floors. We're doing it. She hates yoga. We'll all do something like, because I love yoga. I clearly don't run it.

I've never done a Peloton in my life. Is that like how I should say it? I've never done a Peloton. We'll all switch. You come over and you swap Peloton. One day each. And then we're doing wine after. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. So that's all he needed to say. Maybe wine during. Run towards the bottle. I used to run in the, York to the bar. I would see your stories. I was like, you know what?

You would just treat yourself to like a cocktail or some bubbles. I'm like, that's, God, she's doing it right. That's how we do it. I'm like, I go ahead and size in. I used to call it loose to booze. I'm like, whatever, running to the bar. Something that you said earlier that I want to touch on because we've already talked about you being a two times New York, two times New York Times bestseller.

um did i say that right yeah i don't know what it's just the times the times listen it's because i'm not one so you know i don't correct me auntie get me right i don't know a two times new york times bestseller you mentioned though because we've been on this whole conversation about running and like now i'm i'm pumped if it wasn't so hot where i am right now i would literally get out and run barefoot i don't even have my running shoes just barefoot i'm pumped to the pool um but but you said that your next book, or at least some of it, will be about, you know, running the marathon and why you got into that and where you were in your life. And I'm very curious because you're writing your third book. And like most people, a lot of people stop at one, right? Because

they don't have, either they don't have that much to say or people realize it's very, very hard to write a book. And you're on your third one here. So I'm very curious, like, have you always known what exactly that it is that you want to write? And whatever your answer may be, how is it that you get your ideas for your books? Great question, actually, because it explains why the third book is taking longer. So the first book, you know, I journaled the breakup. That was kind of like an easy one to get out. The second one I moved to New York, there were like plenty of stories there for that.

And the reason that it's taken a while for the third book is because like you, you can't just like make stuff up in your life. Like that's, you know, a fiction book, which is fine. But for me, it was like I kept trying to write, trying to write. but there was nothing really going on with my life, which ends up being part of the book. I had just kind of like hit that lull. I didn't have the motivation.

I didn't really have anything to write about. And I will say that like the ending for this book has obviously shifted. Like it was going to end at a certain point. And now look where we are. And so the ending changes. So you have to be like open to like let the story come to you, I think. You can't force the stories. You can't force the life that you're writing.

you kind of have to just live life and see where it goes and if it takes you five years it takes you five and I really really learned that with this third book I had to just take a deep breath and be like I can't force these stories like they will come eventually and when they do you know they'll be as raw and as you know genuine as possible and you just have to kind of wait for it

I'm so impatient like that's the hardest thing for me I'm one of those impatient people like but I feel like we've all read books where the ending is mediocre and it leaves you wanting more and it lacks and so I think that that's good that you have the wherewithal and the mindset to be open to waiting and yeah and finding that right ending yeah finding the ending and like also for me it's so personal I mean I you too know this like my method of like communication voicing my feelings is definitely through writing I've learned that it's not on social media, I just, I convey my feelings when I write. And so for me, it's something

that's always personal. And so I want to take that time and want it to be like carefully crafted and in a way that's obviously raw and real, but it's so personal to me. Yeah, I can't wait. And who knows? It might not even be an ending. It could be the start of your fourth or fifth and sixth book. I think you should do fiction. I think you should, after this, you should write a fiction book. I think it would be a lot of fun. I would write a fiction book, but I'm too terrified to because I would, like, I think I'm too fucked up in the head. Like, when you start thinking of the stories that you could come up and like, oh shit, people are going to think I'm fucking whack. That sounds like a movie to me. Can't wait. Sounds like a page turner already, Andy.

We're going to find out how whack I am. But you know what, like, we all are crazy. No one's going to know. And no one would know, like, what is your story or more of the character that you're right or characters that you're writing about you can kind of weave them all together i mean i can tell a story or too oh listen that's what that's what i say because i'm like man i could write a fiction book off my 20s but you would like loosely based off the life yeah that i lived before oh man come on do it i always tell people when they're like i want to write a book i'm like what about the publishing world i'm like before you get to the publisher you got to write a book so just start writing like i literally write all the time like

I have my notebook I have mine too but I love the old school notebook the composition book I do. I write in my notes I write in my notes a lot like ideas that you ever go back and look at them sometimes and you're like

I do because I'm big in manifestation and so there are things that I have written that have come to fruition like lately things have really come to get so I'm very big on that so I like to go back and look at things like that I always type notes like before bed

if I'm like let's say I'm like with a guy or something we get in a fight I'll like type a note out and if I still want to send it the next morning copy face and usually it's like you're going to delete that one but even like I'll do voice memo I do voice moose

oh that's good I would love to just go into Rachel's voice no you don't she'd be like delete I do actually oh my god um so andy you obviously have a lot going on other than just like moving across the country and getting settled starting a new business moving across the country even a new book like all the things like besides what we touched on what else can we see from you is there anything else that you want to

share with us uh i think that's about it i'm making the babe cave here i'm going to have a bachelor pad for both of you to come crash out yeah um awesome no boys on the way, no baby's on the way. Just business, I guess. Hey, that's a baby in itself. Yeah, it's my baby, right? Yeah, like, seriously, you've got enough on your plate. And no one gets to be the

father of this one. Yeah, no one will talk back to you. Yeah, I love it, though. But I feel like the next time we'll talk to you, you have something else going. And as you've already said, you don't like to make an announcement until, like, things are already happening, which I love. That's how I am. Like, when you know it's going,

to happen, then you make the announcement. So I'm sure you've got some other stuff cooking and we'll learn about it soon enough. Before we end, though, we got to ask you, of course, I know, a bachelor-centric question. So, I was like, waiting for more bachelor stuff. Like, it's bachelor's stuff. You're interesting enough. Yeah. Like, we want to talk to you. We've seriously gotten a lot of DMs and questions about you. People want to know what's going on. Because you said, like, you're open, but you're also very private about. what's going on. So I think, you know, people really are curious as to, who is this Andy Dorfman and what's going on in her life? I keep the whole profile. That's the way to do it. That's the way

to do it. Okay. So in anticipation of Claire's season and the Bachelor Greatest Seasons airing, that thing, we've done a lot of reflecting on our time on the show, Becca and I have. And we've gotten the opportunity to talk to some great people in the franchise, but we're curious to know from you what's the best thing that came out of being on the show and what was the worst we call this your rose and your thorn yeah yeah yeah my thorn was my ex sure sure uh my rose honestly i would say just like this life you know it's funny i every time i have like those moments where i'm like damn i'm on the beach in california like i live here what the you know it always comes back to the bachelor. It always comes back to like that being that pivotal moment in my life and just all of the

good like pinchworthy moments I would say are the rose. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And things that you- do you check yourself? Oh, sorry. I'm pretty good. I check myself all the time. Like, for example, you're like, I'm sitting on the beach right now, you know, riding, whatever it is that you're doing, just like stoking up the sun. I'm always like, it's Monday, 125 p.m. If I had never gone on the show, what would I be doing? I always do that to myself because it puts things in a perspective and it keeps me really humble and grounded

and grateful for exactly where I am right now. Yeah, I love that. I do that. And when people ask me, like, do you ever regret the show? That question always sparks within me like, hell no, look what I'm doing now. Look who I've met.

I mean, I'm sitting here like talking to you, people. I always joke like that scene from Titanic, you know, where he's like talking. He's like, well, talking to you, fine, folk. I always think of that scene. And I'm like, you know, it's like, right? Like, yeah, I wouldn't be here and doing these things and having these conversations and being these people if it weren't for that.

So always goes back to that moment. I will say it's, I mean, and I've asked all of the past bachelorette that we've had on, you know, do you wake yourself up like from a nap or in the mornings and pinch yourself and you're like, to this day, like, holy crap, I was the bachelorette. Like that was a big part of my life and it's led to so many things. I want to say, Andy, like, you know, because I followed your season, and it's so funny that I'm sitting here now talking to you because I remember when you first moved out to New York, you had posted a photo, I think, of you, like, drinking a martini. And that was, what, five and a half years ago, I think you said when you had moved out there. And I was sitting with, like, two or three of my best girlfriends from Minnesota, you know, and this was pretty me being on the show.

like I was just like working in this small PR agency. We were sitting around drinking martinis and we're like, oh my God, like she's, we're like her. Like we would hang out with her. Like she like we want to be friends with her. And the fact now of that like we're sitting here talking, having this conversation. And like I know once this podcast airs, my girlfriend's going to text and be like, you had Andy on the podcast. How was she?

All the funny things that like, you know, I still like I so appreciate it. And, like, you can never take anything for granted because we really, like, in a weird way, the show switches your life up so much. But it leads to some really cool, great, fun moments like this. Yeah, and it's all, like, how you look at it. Like, you can look at it as, like, oh, the show changed my life and, like, look at all this pressure, blah, blah, or, like, you can look at as the show changed my life and look at all the cool shit I get to do now. Mm-hmm. I just choose to look at as the cool shit I get to do now. And all the cool clubs that we can be part of now.

Yeah. And again, set up with cute boys from you two, see? I'm not my husband after all. I think I live for this too because I can't be out there. And I love to date. Like, I was a serial dater. And since I can't do it anymore, it's like, let me just do it vicariously through my friends. Let me help them out.

Sounds like most of my married friends. Yeah, yeah. Like, how can we? Sometimes I do it just for you guys. sometimes they'll just do the story just for you all. We're our entertainment. And we appreciate it. You're welcome.

Andy, this has been so much fun. Definitely worth the way. But like fun, like I feel like this was also very therapeutic, you know? Like we just talk bats. We talk life. We reminisce on like where we've come from and where we're going. And it sounds like we're going to L.A. Yeah.

We're all going to be together. So the world's going to see us together much more. Andy, it has been such a pleasure. I mean, I'm going to text you after this to make fun. Oh, you guys are great. I love seeing you hosting this. It's awesome. Get ready for yoga.

How just amazing and wonderful as Andy. I've always loved her, but it's always good catching up with her. I know. Like, she's definitely one of the first bachelorette's that, you know, had introduced themselves to me. And she's somebody that I've always connected with. Like, I feel like we have a lot in common and very similar personalities. But I really appreciate hearing your. story about how the picture, like to go back and say, I remember her taking this picture and you

remember what you were thinking and how you're with your girlfriends. Like, I love stories like that. It's almost like you manifest at that moment and like that's going to be me. Only you're not just friends with her. You actually became the Bachelorette as well and had a journey like she did. I think that's so cool. Yeah. And you know, I and that's the thing like throughout all of these recaps of former seasons, like, it brings people together in such a weird way. And we have all these amazing women on that we probably would, you know, I would hope that we would have had Andy on at some point, but because she was on Juan Pablo season and we're all weirdly connected. Um, it's perfect timing. But I mean, she is killing this life. Yeah. Like she has so much going on.

She's always had a lot going on. But it sounds like she's really taking time for herself to know like what's what the best move and next steps are for her. And I love that. And I think a lot of women and men out there listening can relate and really like take note and learn and maybe join her running club with us. Absolutely. And I and one of the things she shared that I also love is people think they see us. They see the finished product. They think we're perfect. They think we don't go through our own issues or have our own struggles. And she shared, listen, when I got into running, I had a reason for it, which will learn in her book. But she talks about, being in a funk and I appreciated her being so open because like she also shared she is very

private and she doesn't let people in and you should like we shouldn't be telling people all of our business but I appreciated that she opened up to us and our listeners about that and it sounds like there's going to be so much more to come of that in her book and I can't wait I'm so excited I just can't wait to see her now that we're all in L.A. So yeah it's it's going to be good to be close but yeah whenever that book whenever the ending is set and ready you know it's going to be a good one. But everybody, thank you so much for tuning in today. What a fun episode. And of course, we have really fun new episodes coming to you in the weeks to come with some more surprised guests. So make sure you tune in. In the meantime, please keep writing to us on social. You

hopefully by now know where to find us. But if not, on Instagram, you can find us at Bachelor Happy Hour. And it's at batch happy hour on both Facebook and Twitter. And last but not least, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're listening to us right now. Okay, guys, before we completely end this episode, I did want to take just a couple of minutes to address what's been going on with me and in my relationship over these past couple of months. And although this is very difficult and quite a personal matter for me, I do truly value and care for all of our listeners and the questions and concerns that you've had these past few weeks.

And so I just want to go ahead and share with you guys directly what I've been going through. So I want to preface this with, I'm sitting in my apartment alone recording this by myself. I didn't think it was fitting to bring anyone else into this conversation when my relationship was only made up of two people, which was obviously myself and Garrett. And I know that there has been so much speculation and curiosity out there regarding where him and I stand. I've seen countless headlines and stories run by news outlets and, you know, countless Instagram posts confirming something that, to be honest, I don't think was anyone else's place or right to do. No one else has the right to confirm this unless it comes directly from the source and

from the horse's mouth, which is in this moment me. So I don't think it's going to come as a shock to anyone. but Garrett and I have decided to end our engagement and if you have followed us on Instagram for the past couple of months you'll have noticed that I spent a lot of time in Minnesota I was with family and close friends and he was out on the West Coast doing the same and we were really just trying to take time and gain some clarity on as to what was the next best step in our lives whether that was together or as individuals and after many conversations we came to this decision it wasn't something that we just arrived at

one night it wasn't based solely off of one Instagram post or somebody else's opinions or comments there's much more to it that you know there's to any relationship there's a lot of layers and it's not for me to divulge details it's no one's business other than what I'm telling you right now but you know

for anyone out there who has gone through a breakup you know that it's never easy it's a roller coaster of emotions and you have these ups and these downs and you just try to take it day by day

and to navigate as best you can, which is why it's taken either of us so long to say anything. I think now that we've finally kind of come to terms with it and have been able to sit in this decision for a little bit, you know, we've realized that we still have so much love and kindness and compassion in our hearts for the other person, but sometimes people's paths just go different ways and you know we we uh went on this crazy tv show over two years ago in hopes of finding love and we were lucky enough that we did um we really truly did and um i'm so grateful for that opportunity and to have had the the two plus years with garret um

like I said, I still have so much love and compassion in my heart for him and just because we've arrived at this decision now doesn't take away all of the years

and the countless memories that we've made together. Those will always be carried in my heart and I'll always look back at this time in my life with so much gratitude and love. And it's really hard to

be sitting here talking with you all today and admitting this A, because I don't think anyone is prepped for giving like a public statement for a breakup. It's not normal and it's not something I ever thought I'd be doing but we also

thought that we had a future that would be set in stone. We thought that we'd buy a house together and have a dog and you know probably add children to the mix one day and again, life happens and people sometimes drift apart and have differences and they go their separate ways. So all I can ask is that you please respect us as humans and our privacy and growth to move on from this and just allow us time as individuals to determine what's best for us and how to navigate

this difficult time. I don't quite know how to end this type of conversation other than And, you know, we do just need some time to heal. But I also want to thank people out there for, you know, following our journey and supporting us since the beginning. It really does mean the world. And also to anyone out there going through a difficult time or a breakup, just know that you're not alone. You all are at me if you need to talk or vent.

because I'm here for you. 2020 has been a hell of a year. But, you know, I'm not the only one who's had to deal with this. I'm not the only one who will ever have to deal with this. And so it's important now more than ever to lean on each other. And just to give out a little bit more kindness and grace to others out there. because we could all use it with everything going on.

So I'm going to leave it at that. Thank you for listening to me Rambled the past couple minutes. But now I just hope that from here on out, the rumors can be put to bed and that Garrett and I can now move on into the next chapter of our lives. That's hopefully, fingers crossed the best, the best ones yet. I don't know, you know. But thank you. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out

soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier.

Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Complex problem solving. It takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

One Tribe, save my life twice. Welcome to Season 2. of the good stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.