Bachelor Happy Hour - Former Bachelorette DeAnna Stagliano, Plus: Molly Mesnick

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

Rachel and Becca welcome DeAnna Pappas Stagliano to the show! DeAnna talks about how much her life has changed since Brad Womack broke her heart more than a decade ago. DeAnna, Rachel, and Becca also reveal the advice they give women coming off the show now. Plus, DeAnna is surprised by Molly Mesnick! DeAnna and Molly share the moment they knew they were meant to be friends. The group of power women also discuss their excitement about Clare Crawley’s upcoming season. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Welcome back, happy hour listeners. And I know you probably can't see us, but Rachel, where are you right now? Because it's a step up from the typical closet scene that we always sit in. I know. I am. So I've talked, I don't know if I've talked about it on this podcast, but I've said before that I'm going to be back and forth between. LA and Miami so I'm finally in my LA apartment it's not completely done yet so for those of

you who may be watching us don't judge me quite yet it's I totally feel like I'm in a hotel but it's it feels really good to be here and I don't know I are you big on visualization and manifestation I'm not to go down yes no I am I am so I am too and I've always wanted a place in L.A Like, even if I'm running, because that's what I'm doing. But I've always been too fearful to make the jump, to make the leap, or always put a bunch of excuses. So the fact that I'm actually here now and I have a place, it just internally means so much to me because I've always said, even before the bachelor, I'm like, I thought about taking the California bar exam and coming out here. I have close friends here. And I was like, you know what?

I'm going to do it. So to be here now, it's just kind of fulfilling. It feels right. probably yeah i'm sure in a sense it's like you're you know cross another another thing off the bucket list well like i said for our listeners they can't obviously see um but rachel has this like lovely set up with this cute little purple what does that call like an ottoman and a nice painting is that the first area that you set up without knocking off the computer i have like a couple of things set up like can you see oh that's rachel that's way more than i thought it's like complete

I don't have a couch yet, and I haven't, I don't have the paintings, but yeah, like, this is the beauty of doing it from a distance, because I'm just like, shift that there and ship that there. And yeah, so I'm just a perfection. I'm like, I can't show you everything. Yeah, no, I get it. I cannot wait to come visit. I, you know, I'm itching to get back out to California. So I'll be crashing on the couch whenever you get that. Yeah, girl, come on. So in the meantime, we have another exciting episode. for you guys. And, you know, recently between Rachel and I, but also with our guests, we've been talking a lot about what the franchise means to us, you know, how long we've been watching or why we started watching, what got us hooked in the first place. And one thing that, you know, and this is something that I've always answered when people ask, like, what's one of your favorite things that came from, you know, both being on The Bachelor and Bachelorette. And besides finding

love and being able to travel and have this really unique experience, is that you know, I think the sisterhood and the special bonds that you form with the women that you either live in the mansion with and that you travel for two months with. But also the women, too, from other seasons. Like Rachel, I didn't know you. We weren't on any of the same seasons together, and it wasn't until after I was Bachelorette that I met you. And that goes for a lot of the other female contestants and leads who have been on the show. And I think that's something that, you know, even though it is a reality TV show and there's, of course, the drama and there's the people that show up that aren't always there for the right reasons,

but there's still those women that come on that want to hopefully find love, but also form really strong bonds and friendships with the other women. And so that's something that before I left for the season of The Bachelor, I sat down and I talked to my mom about because she didn't want me to go on the show in the first place. She was like, it's going to be catty and drama-filled. and the fact that I could carry on these lasting friendships with these amazing women is something truly, truly special. And besides having them be really fun to watch, you know, they've just become your friends. And that's, I think, the best part of the franchise for me.

Absolutely. I think it's something that you underestimate. And my mom was like your mom. Like, oh, no. And even my friends were just kind of like, are you sure that's what you want to be a part of? It can be so catty. But, and there are catty people. let's just be honest. There are a lot of people that are drama filled. But with the leads,

it's just, it's like all this one big community because you all go through something together. But with the leads, it's a different experience. And so you have another level of sisterhood that bonds you together. And so I remember coming into the 15 year reunion and I was a little apprehensive about it. And I've shared that before. But I was so eager to meet the ones from the beginning. you know like i hate to say older because the funny thing is i'm the same age as them so alley was on what nine 10 seasons before me and we're the exact same age so it's like i'm like i'm not going to say older but i'm just more the ones who are more seasoned who taped the way from us and i just wanted to know what their experience was like with no social media and

millions and millions you know 30 20 million people watching the show and so it's it's really been an honor to be a part of such a great batch of incredible women who've been on the show over the years. And you're really, really right. We're just so blessed to call them friends, to call them sisters. And that's something that I never thought would come about with the show. And I feel like this is great what we're doing today because we're kind of really on point. Because right now there's this whole women supporting women, women empowerment, women challenge thing that's going on. So I feel like we're taking that from social media and implementing it into our show today.

And I think that a lot of the the Bachelor Nation fans have kind of waken up a bit. That's the right. I use it. They're awake. A lot of Bachelor Nation fans have been awakened to what this whole franchise really is and whose shoulders we stand on. And that's what I'm enjoying most

from the Bachelor greatest seasons ever was because it is shining a light on some of the more seasons and we're just able to celebrate these women who have paved this way for us and I think it's a great opportunity for the newer fans and even some of the people like myself who've just never even watched the show before

to really see these incredible women to see how they handled these men, how they navigate at their journey because I think the newer seasons that some of that is getting lost in the dramatization of the show. So, oh yeah. But what's also so great is what these women have done off the screen.

I mean, I don't mean to brag, but let's just be honest. The women have come off and done way more than the men have. The Bacheloretts have really paved away outside of this franchise more than the men have. I'm just saying. And I'm not even talking about the success in their relationships. I'm just talking about the success and what they've done professionally. We really have some boss women on the show. And there's just such an inspiration.

They set such a good example, not just for upcoming Bacheloretts, not just for contestants on the show, but just for women in general. And so I really think that it's so important to have that mindset as you're watching these greatest seasons ever. We have them come on our podcast, or maybe you follow them on social media. They're just great role models in general. Yeah. Oh, a thousand percent. And what I found even last week when we were talking with the Kelman family, and we had Emily who was a few years, than I am and one of the things that she said as a 24 year old is that you know yes the drama will hook them and it's entertaining but she watches the show for having like strong badass females

to look up to and to take note from and I think that that's something so important in this day and age is we really need to build women up and support them and and you know hold people accountable when we can and so uh even hearing fans and other other other folks from the show say that I think that's those are the types of conversation that I'd like to hear going on and so if we can keep spreading that positivity with women you know younger older if they just started watching the show if they've watched it for years continue that because I think that's the best part um and with that oh wait can I just say this I think you're so true you hit the nail in the head when you said and holding each other accountable I think that sometimes when

you get caught up in these movements if you people think women supporting women means you have to support every single thing that they do. But if you have a good friend or a sister or someone like that, someone you care about, wouldn't you check them or maybe hold them accountable, as you said, if they're doing something that maybe you think isn't in their best interest? And I think that that is a part of this women supporting women. You don't blindly support people, you know, or just do it in a, in a grant in a general way. I think it's so important that we hold each other accountable for certain things because that's what you do. Like as friends, you should be able to talk to each other and tell

each other anything. Anyways, I just know that you said that because it's so true. Yeah, no. And we get a lot of flak sometimes like, you're not supporting women. How dare you say that? It's like, no, it's, first of all, it's an opinionated podcast, right? You don't have to agree with my opinions. I don't have to agree with yours. It's just generate open conversation and that's what we have. But it doesn't mean that we knock women. And I think we do a lot of supporting women on this show. And so that's why I'm glad for, that's why I'm glad for what we're doing today. Because I really think our podcast is about that. We don't get caught up in the daily gossip or reporting, you know, who broke up with who or this person's arguing with this person. We really don't do that. I mean, I think like two percent

of our show is about that. We try to rise above it and have conversations that are moving forward and and highlighting bigger issues. So, yeah, I love that. Well, that's a great segue, I guess, into what we have. Just I guess to announce our guests because we don't just have one today. We have to, and we're putting a fun little twist on it. So if anyone, hopefully everyone out there, you know, I know there's not a lot going on in the world today with, you know,

we're still in the semi-shutdown quarantine. But if you're keeping up with the greatest seasons of all time, you obviously saw Brad Womack season and recap, last week. And you probably fell in love with one of our guests. I know I did when I met her during the 15-year reunion with all of us ladies last year. She's just the absolute sweetest, cutest, cutest person. She's one girl that we don't talk a ton just because our friendship, I would say, is blossoming and it's a little bit newer. But when I talk to her on the phone, she's just like this funny firecracker. I felt like the last time I hopped on the phone with her,

I was supposed to be a quick call before an interview that we were going to do. And we ended up talking for way longer than I expected. And I'm like, this is like, that's the kind of people I want in my life. Are you just let the time go and just, it's just enjoyable. So we are going to be having Deanna Stegliano on here. She, if you'll recall, is the one. I mean, Brad, during his first season, didn't pick either one of the girls, but she was one of the final two. So she's going to be on.

And then you guys have probably heard me say. obviously we're having two guests. So we're actually going to surprise Deanna with a pop-in from Molly Meznik, who is another amazing lady from the franchise and one that I've gotten to know, you know, I've met her a few times while I was on tour and I've gotten to know her and Jason a little bit more. And so I can't wait to have them both on and just have a really fun, empowering women conversation. And I am so excited for this one. I am too. I've only met, gosh, I guess I've only met them both once Deanna and Molly

as a reunion but I've talked to Deanna since so I feel like I've met her a whole bunch of times like a little tidbit whenever we're discussing something in the bachelor at group chat I always side text

Deanna really? Yes I'm always like did you see that girl I love her so much And she's so funny to me. She's so funny. She's a firecracker. She's just like my kind of girl.

And Molly was the absolute sweetest. And she brought her daughter. And of course, Jason, to the mansion when we were filming the 15 year beginning. I guess they were in town for something. And I just thought that was so nice. And she fit right in. She might as well have stood up there with us. You know what I mean?

When all the parents were staying there, she might as well have been there. So I'm excited to talk to them both. They both have such different perspectives when it. comes to this franchise. I mean, Molly especially, it's funny because, and maybe this is just in general with the world, we're all revisionists, but I feel like in Bastor Nation, it's even more of a title that our fans wear. They will recreate how they feel about you and forget how they were in the moment, which I guess can be a gift and a curse. And so with Molly, it's very interesting because of the whole term pulling a mesnick and that situation. And I'm just curious to

know if they were hated on as opposed to now they're revered as one of the top you know couples in bachelor nation and then diana with that brad man brad might be the most handsome bachelor to me so i got to know we got a we have to talk we have to talk i think that's why he got it twice because he's so freaking good looking it isn't for his personality no offense but i mean he's probably easy to get along with and easy to look at so let's let's give it a go i Rachel, honestly, I don't even know if Deanna knows what happened in that situation. Honestly, like she, I think to this, and we'll get her on, we have to pick her brain about it. But to this day, she's like, I don't know what the hell went wrong that day.

It's so funny. It's not, it's funny now. Again, recreating history here. I'm sure it was awful at the time. I do want to ask you, though, because, wait, did you watch Brad's season, first of all? Did you watch either one of them? I watched the second one. So I did not see the first one.

My college roommate freshman year got me hooked because she was a long-time bachelor bachelor's fan. And so she got me hooked on Brad's second season. But I didn't watch the whole thing. I only made it through like the last three or four episodes. But I do remember watching. And it was so clear to me as like this 18, 19 year old girl. I was like he's into Emily.

Like she's the one. like she like game over for everyone else people can go home and that was my first time ever watching this show and i just remember and he ended up picking emily that season obviously you know things didn't work out for them but it was so clear to me yeah i didn't i didn't watch it but knowing emily i get it right i mean not nothing against the other girls or anything like that but it's funny because as as revered as brad may be because of his physical features He's not well-liked by certain people, particularly our dear friend, Grandma Honey, who was not the biggest fan of old Brad, and I feel like she's not alone in that. That's probably the majority.

It's like you had twice, you got to do this twice and you messed it up. So I do have a question for you because just in the spirit of Brad Womack, if you could give a second go-around to a former bachelor and a former bachelorette, who would it be and why? oh gosh uh well okay bachelorette i would say andy dorfman that would be like that's a that well and it's hard because most i mean Hannah and Andy i think this i don't want this to sound terrible but i'm just i think they're the only two single ones and if i'm wrong our fans will call me out so please let me know um but andy's was you know a few years ago so i don't know i feel like i I would like to see her again. Her season was entertaining. I loved when she was on Juan Pablo season and called him out when she sent herself home. Like that was the moment where I was,

I think, like, that was the moment where I was like, oh my God, this girl is such a badass. And so I would love to see Andy again. Bachelors, Rachel, I don't know. Well, it's hard. You go first. You go first. Well, I would agree with you on Andy. One, I think it's great when they, I know Brad got back to back, but that might have been what hurt him in the end. You just need to step away and then come back because it almost, I don't know, like, it takes you up a level and like Andy's been out. She's written two books.

She's done her thing. You know, she's, I feel like she would come in and take the show up a level. Like her standards would be so high. She'd be high maintenance coming in. She'd tell people off. She'd be like, you know, she'd be in the dating room. I mean, she wrote a freaking book about her adventures being single and dating in New York City. So it's like, come on, guys, top that.

I just think it would be very fun to watch her. Guys, because I didn't watch a lot of faster seasons before me, I would go with Nick because why not? He's been on like four times. Why not give him a fifth go around? I think whether you hate him or you like him when this and I know maybe I'm biased because I was on his season but I thought the women that were on the season were very entertaining and part of that is attributed to the lead and how he handles them so you know you might not like Nick or you might love him but it was still an entertaining season to me and so why not like

let's just go come on fifth time six time seven just keep it moving also I don't know I mean I don't let you know what I'm bachelors and I don't exactly I was just going to say I obviously know the bachelorette's much better because we talk and we're in a group chat and we kind of know where people are at in life the bachelors it's harder you know I know more of the recent ones because I've had the opportunity to meet them I don't know a lot of the more seasoned ones I guess I mean I started watching during Brad Womack season and so I can't really name any before that the only one and this is I don't want this to sound bad because he is in such a beautiful relationship and I love his fiance but I you know I love Ben like he's like a

brother we did the tour together and so if anyone if he was single which he's not he's planning a wedding but if he was he would be one to me that I would I would root for and want to go on again to find to love and to find the best partnership for him. But that being said, I love Jessica so much. You know, I better be invited to the wedding. Ben, if you're listening. Well, after the way you hide them up, he better. I'll be a flower girl if you need one.

I'll pass out cake for you guys, whatever you need. But yeah, and I've gotten to know Jess a lot more from the two or two, and they just, they compliment each other so well. They keep each other grounded. They're just fun-loving. probably the most supportive, one of the most supportive couples I've ever had the opportunity to witness. And so, yeah, I don't even know why I just said Ben because he's obviously taken. Yeah, but I get why you said it because that's the season that I watched when I was packing

and started crying to the girls who signed me up and said I could never be on this show. Like legitimately. And I was like, I'm already signed the contract. This show is it for me? I don't fit in here. And now, look at me now. Look at me now. Apparently that was something that I did. But I can see why you would pick Ben because Ben what I loved so much about his season, and I didn't finish it, but I loved how he navigated each relationship with the women. Every single time, I mean, I remember thinking, wow, I hope my bachelor is that in tune with each relationship. He made it feel like it was just him and that girl, even though there were 20 plus other ones in the house. I love that. His sincerity came through the screen for me.

I thought you were going to stay cool but you know that's neither here nor there well apparently cool in stating Lucy Hale so I don't you know I just like you said you know maybe and I think it would be too soon I think like people need to come out of the show

have some downtime kind of navigate where they want to be living what they want to be doing after this because life changes so much and so yeah I think I mean Colton's season was just what two two years ago and so yeah to take some time take a little breathing there. All right. Well, Rachel, we've obviously been rambling. I feel like we could just talk forever,

but it is time to have our guest on. We love her so much. She is so freaking adorable. And like we both said, I think we both called her a firecracker in the best way. So please welcome former Bachelorette Diana Segliano, everybody. Oh, I'll take firecracker. Oh, we, that's why I laugh when Becca's like, we've been rambling. And I'm like, and we could go on and on. And I'm like, Well, then bring on the person that we could go on and on and on it. I told Becca before you came on, I love to side text you. In a group chat, I'm just like, what is Deanna think? Rachel, I like died that day that you text me separately.

I went straight down to Stephen and I was like, my new favorite person is Rachel because I think she gets me at my core. Like, she just gets me. She just gets me. Oh, my God. No, I'm thinking it's about me, you guys. Oh, it would not ever be about you. It's no.

you're not even like that yeah you're like she's got my sense of humor i was like yeah i was like i'm reading her right now and i want her to know i get her so funny the best though is in that group chat because there's so many of us and i feel like half the time i'll just leave my phone and come back to like 107 missed messages and then of course you have to like scroll up to the top and go through it and diana i don't know what it is but you always like leave these good like little one liners in there And if I'm not, like, really paying attention, I'm like, I have to, like, go back and be like, oh, my gosh, she just said this. You're like, you sent, I don't remember what the meme was, like, the other day about bras or something. Whatever it was.

Yeah, it was not a mask, right? Was it coat? Yeah, the one about the mask. You have to wear a mask. It was something about people complaining about not where, we'll have to find that again, but not wearing a mask. They're like, oh, it's the worst. I can't breathe. It's the worst.

And I'm like, well, I wear a bra every day. And if I didn't, you'd be upset. Yeah. Not me, but you. Because I've had two children and nursed two children for a year. So nobody wants to see that, but I still wear it. Speaking of that, how are you? I am currently living the dream.

I can't tell you where I am, but when I'm looking up, I'm staring at a crystal blue ocean and fresh sun and sailboats. I'm doing really well. That sounds terrible. If we're listening to this podcast, everybody close their eyes, And let Zianne explain that again. And I'll just look out and I'm like, I can see the bottom of the ocean floor. It's really beautiful.

And I imagine myself like laying out with a crisp glass of Chardonnay and the pool boy coming over and saying, Mrs. Stagliano, what can I get for you? And I'm like, oh, just anything. Just stand there and look pretty. I think people think you, I live in Miami and that's the life I'm always living. And I'm like, I've been at my pool three times. I can see the water every day for my balcony, and I'm probably inside most of the time, you know? So it's different from wherever you are to being in Miami, like in the States.

There's a difference there. Also, people think we live in Southern California, and we're at the beach every day, and my children are well-behaved. But most of the time, I'm wiping shit off the walls. Adjust your expectations, people, please. Yes. This is parenthood. I do not have a nanny, and I'm the personal chef. I'm the homeschool teacher.

I'm the cleaning lady. I'm also the wife. A jack of all trades. She's doing it all. You're a superwoman. No, Deanna, we've had some phone conversations about, obviously, both of our experiences while we were on the show. They were vastly different for a number of reasons. And, you know, we kind of recapped what went down, obviously, when you were on Brad's season, didn't end up choosing anyone. And I told Rachel, I'm like, I want her on to get her take on it. Because to this day, and from what I've heard from you is like you did not see that coming you had no like to this day you're still like what the hell happened right yeah I cannot say this enough like it's the number one

well I don't know it's either the number one question or people say why did you choose that guy in your season and I'm like both questions I have no answer it was like I was outside my own body yeah so the situation with Brad the hard part is is like well you two know this viewers see a certain thing, but they don't know what happens off camera and they don't know the things that Brad has said to me. So I try to lay it out there so that everybody knows and understands how, I mean, truly confused I was. But with that being said, like, come on. Like, I'm looking at the situation. I'm like, I'm super thankful for his decision. Had he chosen me, I may have never gone on to be the bachelorette and then ultimately have probably not met Stephen and have these two beautiful

kids that I just like you know so I am a firm believer in like his plan you know what I'm saying like I'm a Christian and I believe that his better is better than my better because had I chosen what I really wanted or me goodness I'm going to mess a true mess but like I am a Christian woman and I believe that like God had his plan for me and ultimately I had to go through. all of that not dismissing the pure mind-blown confusion that I went through but like I had to go through all of that to be ready for for where I am now right I have a beautiful marriage and I have a wonderful husband and I have two really awesome happy healthy kids and it's hard to look back and be like oh man I was so sad yeah I was so like I'm really happy

now. Yeah. Yeah. That's your story. Yeah, sure. I'll let, sorry, Becca, I just want to say this one quote that I love when people say it, because I feel like it applies to me to, and it's something that you were saying, Deanna, when they say we make plans and God laughs. Yeah. It's like story, story of my life, you know, like, oh, this is how it's going to be, it's going to go this way and this way and this way. And can you imagine if it had gone that way? Think of how unhappy and what a hot mess we all would be. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And Rachel, like, I am a planner. Like, down to the day, like, Stephen texted me this morning. I was like, who's with the kids tomorrow? And I was like, you are so lucky that I have things organized. I know everything, you know? And also I would say,

like, 13 years ago when I was on The Bachelor, like, that was probably the most vulnerable in my life that I had ever been, you know, aside from where I am now and my, and my, marriage because I think that's a beautiful thing about marriage is you hopefully learn to become one. And the beautiful thing about that is like Stephen can see me vulnerable and cry, which I would never in a million years allow anyone to do that. I will never forget being sent home in a limo from Brad's season. And they kept trying to get me to cry. I mean, you guys know how richards are. And I had this one, like, dragon tear, like, young, 25-year-old face because I was devastated. The one man that I trusted most during this situation betrayed me.

And he didn't have to. He could have thrown me a bone. And the things that he said to me off camera led me to believe. Now, I'm going to lay it out. I'll never forget this, right? I no longer want Brad Mulmack, praise the Lord, but they allowed me to stay the night with Brad the night before the final race ceremony. What? Off camera, off camera, off camera. What?

Right before, shut up. Of course, I was thought it was me for sure. Oh, yeah. Did they say why? We filmed the whole day, and then once everything shut down, producers came over and they said, hey, Brad would like to see you if you would like to stay at the night. would be happy to take you over there, but this is up to you.

And I was like, absolutely. Like, absolutely think that I love. Oh my gosh. I want to. So I stayed the night with Brad. And it honestly was really cool because we just kind of hung out. We like, let me like watch the news. And he was like laying on the couch and he had his head in my lap.

And I was just kind of like rubbing his hair as a normal couple would do. And then we shut off the TV and he was like, you know, what do you think about all this? And I was like, honestly, I was a little skeptical coming into it. But like, I genuinely. like have real feelings for you. And if anything, I am a brutally honest human being and I still am to this day. And so I said, I have been 100% honest with you about everything that I feel currently in this entire situation. And he was like, that's so great. He was like, what do you think is going to happen when this is all done? And I was like, well, ultimately, I hope that we can

have a relationship, but we can build some faith and some trust on that. And he was like, me too, me too. And then the next day, when my handler came to pick me up, he walked me out holding my hand, right? I mean, after we spent the night together and I don't need to tell you what happened, but he kissed me and he said, I'll see you tomorrow. And I said, oh, my God, don't remind me. And he said, don't worry, it's going to be a good day. Oh, my.

No. Okay, okay, no. Oh, my God. I am not messing that up. That is exactly what happened. And if I don't think Brad would even deny that. As a matter of fact, on Sunday, that was the first time that I ever heard him address that when he said, I absolutely wish I hadn't done that. I led her in the wrong direction. I don't know if he was just caught up in the moment. I don't really know. Or like, if he knew he wasn't going to choose anyone, why even have me come over and stay the night? Like, I don't think he's a type of man that needs a woman's comfort. You know what I'm saying? But that would never believe you. I mean, I spent quite a bit of off-camera time with Brad. See, at that's back.

If I was you, I'd be like, what does my ring look like? Here's the dress that I'm going to be wearing. Can't wait. Oh, my God. It was such a mind. You know what I'm saying? It was a mind fuck. Go ahead.

Yes. It was a mind fuck. I have never been so confused in my life. So I obviously go home thinking like, oh my god he practically just told me it's me you know it's it's me and i walked into that final rose ceremony thinking like i never truly believed that it was jenny although i love jenny we hung out off camera and i think she is delightful and she is at her core a really good person and she's super duper happy and she's a cheerleader which is complete opposite of me so i

thoroughly enjoyed my time around her she was just like bubbly and happy all the time but we are two totally different people and I couldn't help I think like if it's her I feel solid with that because we are so different but if it's me you know like I really was true to who I was the entire time and so once all of that happened going into the final rose ceremony I 99 and a half percent felt solid walking into that. Why would I not? Why would you not? It sounds like Brad can hang out with some other people from the show that couldn't always make up their minds too but I get it like especially you know I just I can relate to that because I think when I was on artisties and Lauren and I were so different and so yeah you kind of are like you know

it's going to be telling of who he wants what direction he's going to go if it's and you know and so yeah I get that that's that is really shitty though did he I want to know so like after he ended things did you know that he ended things with both of you or was it not until the finale that you saw him say no to both of you yeah i knew that he sent jenny home i i can't remember if it played that way but when we did the um what was supposed to be the proposal he told me he said straight up that he sent jenny home and i think at that point if i remember you can see my eyes light up i'm like oh my god here it comes my new one actually at the time i think we used a different a different jeweler but yeah he told me he sent jenny home so i obviously am like

oh, this is it. This is my very tail ending, you know. So I knew he sent Jenny home. The difference is that Jenny did not know that he sent me home. So when the show wrapped, Jenny went home feeling at peace with knowing that he chose me. Because he said, I need something more. Like she thought that full time that he sent her home and chose me. like she at the at the after the final rose when we were filming that they showed each of us the final

episode and then they let jenny come into my green room and she was sobbing and she was like this whole time i thought that he chose you i thought that you too were living your happily ever after and she said i can't believe that he broke your heart and did this to you more so that i lived with that for four plus months when I came home I didn't tell anyone because I was so baffled and so confused with no answers whatsoever um I only told my sister and I only told my aunt those are the only two people that knew because I truly wanted everyone to be as confused as I was and I love surprises still to this day I love surprises um And as confused as I was, I wanted everyone to feel those emotions because that's the place I sat in for four and a half months.

And I mean, minus like, like death and grief. Like that was truly the hardest thing that I ever went through. Wow. Okay. Well, I think there's so many things to say. One, they don't make them like you anymore because I don't know if I would have told people, but my gosh. I mean, this is what I love about these conversations. And I'm so, and Becca and I were talking about this before.

We're so thankful we're revisiting these other seasons because this was a world before social media is what it is. There's no way that would have been a secret. There's no way we wouldn't have known something. And we may have been surprised at the end. We may not have been surprised. So that's one thing I think of it too. I'm listening to it and I'm just, I feel like what you felt then, just hearing you describe it. And I'm just thinking of, wow, look how far you've come.

when you talk about your life now and how happily married you are and your wonderful husband and your wonderful healthy beautiful kids your kids are so cute by the way i'll say it so you don't have to they are super cute i mean they're pretty freaking cute i love that they're adorable um they're like catalog kids and um yeah you should put them you should put them into something um but just to see what you have now but to know the heartbreak you have it's like we were saying how you guys, especially at the beginning, I mean, yes, all the women are, but just, I don't know, I'm biased, especially the women at the beginning, are such great examples of strong, powerful women. It's like listening to your story, all our listeners, our bachelor, happy hour listeners,

listen to this. Like, you may be coming out of this type of relationship. You might be in it right now where you're so confused. It shouldn't be this confusing. So, you know, like, I feel like they should take your story, Deanna, and know that you can come out of it and things can be so much better. it just might not be on the timing that you want. Oh, my God. I can like cry right now. It's true. That's what I'm just still listening to it.

I'm also in a month of all period right now, so there's that. You know what? I always say this because I think you guys know this. Well, here's one of the perks about being on this show so long ago. I am actually like tearing up a little bit. Thank you so much. This is what this is more. Okay, here it comes.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry. Don't cry because I'm going to start crying. I am not crying. I'm PMSing. It happens. Oh, God. I actually am too.

I am too. I am too. Here's the beautiful thing. There are two things, right? There is a piece of me who is very thankful about being on the show so long ago before you girls. Women. There was a non-issue. Like, I didn't have in touch or photographers like hiding in my book.

in noon and Georgia 13 years ago, you know? So I didn't, I didn't have to go through the same like trials and tribulations of people like tearing every piece of my relationships apart because there just, it just wasn't that way back when I was on the show. So I could go on the show and I could come home and breathe and mourn with the people that I love most and no one was tearing me apart along the way. So I have so much sympathy for for you guys or for current bachelors and bachelorets who go on the show and have to be very conscious of every step that they're taking along the way because someone is always looking at them and following them and willing to take a video and submit it somewhere. I didn't have to experience

any of that. The other piece of me that finds so much comfort is in all of this. And I imagine you get so many more DMs than I do. But like people will message me all the time and be like, I so want to find that person to share my life with. And I so admire, you know, a good marriage and all of these things. Do you have any advice? And here's the thing. Had I met Stephen 13 years ago, I was a mess. And I was in my mid-20s.

I was self-entitled. Like, after being on The Bachelor, I was like, oh, everybody needs to be worthy of me. I was a woman who dated 20 bad guys on national television, you know. And that is so beyond me at my core to be like that. And I just was. I was very selfish in that time in my life. And I would have never been prepared mentally, physically anything for a really incredible marriage, you know?

So one thing I pride myself in is that I never settled. I very well could have. I mean, you guys know this at least 25 times. But I never, ever settled. I knew I wanted something really, really great. and I also just wasn't ready for it. I was in a selfish time of my life and once I became The Bachelorette

and went through the show, I just really thought that everyone should bow down to me and how stupid is that? So it was a very humbling process after going through The Bachelor, a very humbling and confusing process. And then being the Bachelorette,

getting the time to be selfish and travel the world and be on television shows and host and live the dream and make money like hosting stupid parties at clubs. Like, I mean, who does that? It's so stupid. But I did. You know, and then I met Stephen.

And had he met me at 26, our marriage would never last. And I'm not saying our marriage is perfect. We had definitely weathered some serious storms. And I am so thankful to be where we are now to think, like, we have come out the other side. But that's the beautiful thing about marriage. like, ultimately, we are committed to each other and committed to our family and making things work. And that's down deep below the dirt of it all, as well as on the top side when things are really, really wonderful. And I think that's a beautiful thing that I never, ever found that

before Stephen, like to where it felt like I had a partner that would fight for us. Yeah. And so, you know, looking back at it all, it's been really fun to watch it. But I'm also like, thank God, like bless Stephen, I'm the lucky one, really. I am. Well, I love listening to you say all that because, I mean, it's so well spoken, but it's your story. And I think though, even though that is your story and kind of how your life has, you know, paved this way for you and your children now, like no one, you know, we all have an idea of where we want to be in life and we never know where it's going to go. And the fact that you, this is why I love doing these recaps and and watching seasons that I never started, you know, I never had watched up until, you know,

I was a freshman in college. It's, we now going to talk to you and other women who have gone through similar things who women watching the show now, or even just listening to this podcast can relate to. And that's something that's really special. And, you know, I have to say, like, I don't think had, you know, COVID been spread and had the quarantine been put in place in the shutdown, like we wouldn't be doing these recaps, we wouldn't have the opportunity to be having this conversation. And that's a really special thing. And I want to go back to something you said earlier, as you said, his plan is bigger and better than my plan. And that I just want people to really take that in and realize, like, you know, you can be a planner and have what you want in life

to happen. And it's always going to get what, shaken up a little bit at certain times. And so I love that we can have you on and get your taken. And here you know, out because it seems like you've just grown tremendously since you were on. Thank God. Yeah. One thing, though, I do want to be on the show. Oh, God. It's like, where would we all be?

Had we settled with that guy from 10 years ago, you know? I'd be living on a farm in noon in Georgia. Probably miserable. And I love to get this take from, you know, like from, I hate some seasons, seasons. that's what we like to say now because like I'm the same age as you guys yeah I'm like older that's me and I came in around like 12 seasons later or whatever um anyways when you watch the bachelorette now what do you think of it versus between when you were on it versus now all right if I'm giving my honest opinion and that's all that either of you would expect anything

less out of me. I have a hard time watching this show now. I really have enjoyed the Bachelor goat, like seeing the old seasons re-air because I think there is something really beautiful about the fact that we were all on. And by we, I mean, me, Trista, Jen, you know, Meredith and some of the other guys, we were on before social media was a thing. And I think that social media has changed the show and the way that it works. And by that, I mean, it is so hard to tell who is coming on to sell gummy bear hairs and teeth whitener versus who really is there

for the right reasons. You know, like these night oners can go home and sell so much teeth whitener. They don't have to have a real job. Yeah. I have so enjoyed watching the show play back and see some of the older cast on because it just felt so genuine to me.

And I don't know if I'm just that naive because I am quite gullible, but, like, I truly went on for the right reasons. People find it so silly when I say, I didn't take a paycheck. I don't know if I'm just stupid or... As the Bachelorette? Yeah. Yeah. I did not get a paycheck.

They definitely helped me out because, obviously, six months of my time, I had to pay my mortgage, right? I owned my home in Georgia and just some other small bills, but it was minuscure. really yeah my mortgage is like a thousand bucks a month yeah but that's that's what I'm saying I joke around about like being stupid but also like I genuinely went on the show for the right reasons and I still to this day 13 years later they're really solid in that I didn't go on for a paycheck or to become famous or any of those things and luckily I've had some really great opportunities land on my lap along the way which are awesome and fun but I also have a real life

and I have a real job and like I feel really good in that. Yeah, so the show is just so different nowadays and I remember having a conversation with a contestant who had been on several episodes The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, probably Bachelor Pad and Bachelor in Paradise. And I was The Bachelorette.

Like at one point in a time, I was most desired woman in America. I forget it's built that way. I know, I know, I know. But I remember having a conversation with this young woman. And again, I was probably eight years older than her. And she was like, well, what am I supposed to do now? It's not like I can get a real job. And I'm standing there like, I have a real job.

Why can't you have a real job? Well, I'm just so famous. And I was like, I wanted to just shake her by the shoulders and be like, honey, it's cool. Take the opportunities. You absolutely should. but like, you need a job. You need a path and you need a career

because one day, in the blip of all of this, no one's going to know who the fuck you were. But even then, this is what I tell people, and I'm glad that I come from this world. I didn't watch the show before. Same. Oh my God, say. I wouldn't have known anybody walking down the street.

I didn't even know who Jojo was and she lived in the same city as me. You know, so it wasn't until I got in this world. and I think what people need to realize coming in on the show is most of the world has no idea who you are. Majority you don't. Bachelor nation makes you feel like

everybody knows you. They don't. So it is hard to break through that Bachelor bubble or reality TV and to become something else. I'm not saying you can't. It's just the odds are against you.

Just like the odds are against you to find your perfect person on the show. It's just you got to be realistic about things. Nobody knows who you are. That's the mentality you need to have coming. in and coming out. And also, there's something really good about, like, humbling yourself and knowing who you are. Like, yeah, you have this great opportunity, but, like, eventually, you've got to go

back to real life. Like, I mean, what else will you do? You have to be known for something else. Yeah. When you're 60 and you're a boobes are hanging to your knee and you're trying to drink your glass of wine at 4 o'clock on the patio, like, no one's going to give a crap that you were the bachelorette over seven years ago. This is what people need to hear. I love this. Um, also, you know what? Okay, we always talk about the Bachelor at Bible that we share with all the, the women. You know, we talked about it with Claire. Like, this is why we need to send it to everyone, starting with Trista to get your take because it's so important. It's so different than, you know, what I'm sure Rachel and I went through. Um, Deanna, I love this conversation. I know that you mentioned you love surprises. So we actually do have a surprise for you today that we have. to get into um because we have a surprise guest joining us today because she loves you and we love you so much oh there she is oh you made my day Molly how have you been a good good look at this like power group of ladies I'm talking to me I know it it's wonderful I was just telling the girls

the moment that I fell in love with you and I'm I don't remember whose wedding it was at where you and I got a little pie-faced. That was everybody's wedding that I've been to. I was pregnant at two weddings, so that would not be. That's true. I was telling the girls how you confessed to me that what a wino you are. And I was like, oh my God, me too. And you were like, one time I was laying in the bed with a glass of wine and a bag of Cheetos.

And Jason came in to find me with Cheetos and Stephen was like, do you know how many times I find Diana like that? I love Molly so much. Like, I would pass out in bed with my hand in the Cheetos bag. I love this. I love this. I'm pretty sure I sent Molly photos of me several times later. Passed out.

Totally. But this is what's so great. This is so great because, you know, when people see us, they see us on TV in gowns, fully made up, sitting, you know, in a professional setting, you know, everything has to be on point. And then, like, somebody's like, you know what? I, too, fall asleep passed out with my hand in the chip bag and one hand on the glass of wine. I've literally fallen asleep like this.

Have you lived life if you hadn't passed out with like a slice of pizza in your mouth? I don't think so. Right. Let me tell you, if you've ever taken your wine and been like, oh, I'm really tired right now and put it in fridge for tomorrow, like your glass, I'm on another level. Oh, I don't, I finish every glass. I never had that wine. You know what? Don't waste it.

Last night, I fell asleep. So I'm in like, Molly, I'm in, I don't know if I'm down to the seat, but I'm in L.A. I'm back and forth. And so I'm setting up my new apartment. And I was like, got to, got to get a bottle of wine while I'm at the store, you know? So I got like these plastic little cups. And I was like, I'm going to have, I'm going to have wine. And I fell asleep so tired.

And I woke up and I was like, what is that smell? You know how like wine smells different than the next day? Yeah. And I was like, oh my God. Anyways. Okay. we keep telling telling stories

Holly how are you well Beck already asked you how you're doing but like quarantine everything like let's do a little check in with the same how are the kids good I mean it's been interesting like I'm going through what every other working parent in America is going through

with school being all remote and online so like I've taken on a new job of homeschool teacher which is something I never thought I would do and I was used to prior to all the world shutting down I was used to being home by myself all day long. And then overnight, everyone's in my house.

Yeah. All day long. Like, I, I don't know. I, like, you're not meant to spend that much time with your spouse and your kids. This is why you have such a fabulous closet that you can just grab your glass of wine and go get away. Like, lock the door. Yeah. So, like, my kids, like Riley and Thai are really good kids.

They handled the school stuff really well. but we're in it again for the fall. They announced that school is canceled for the fall, so not out. Same here. I told the girls that I was updating my resume. I'm the schoolteacher. I am the cleaning lady. I'm the chef.

I am the white. I am all of the things. The lawn caretaker, I'm sure. Lawn care, the nanny. Go get it. Oh, my gosh. Grocery shopper. So for Bachelor Happy Hour listeners out there,

if you didn't know we had actually two superwomen on the podcast today, That's what we're talking to. It ain't back and I. It ain't. I mean, Rachel. No. I listened to you and I'm like, Rachel, don't complain about what you're doing when it's just like me,

Brian and the dog, you know? No, but everyone has their own challenges, you know, like, everyone's going through something. You guys deserve a hand clap, a bad Cichitos, and a glass of wine. Or sure. Have you heard of the 4 in 10? I'm just thankful I can even get pants. Oh, God. No, that's the day.

Four and 20. Exactly. Whatever. I don't care. I don't care. I feel like we should take, you know, everybody's lives are so crazy right now and what's been great about, you know, Monday nights being back to normal, I guess, if you're in the Bachelor world, is you've got the greatest seasons ever playing. So it gives you a little bit of escape. I love to say that I'm a big sports person. So if you're not a sports person, that's what the Bachelor is for you. You know, like it's like Monday night football, Monday night Bachelor. But we do know that Claire's season is filming. now. Are you guys excited for Claire? What are your thoughts? I've met Claire a couple times. I adore her. I think it's going to be such a refreshing facelift for the franchise, just having like an older woman who knows what she's looking for. She knows what she wants. She's not going to let anyone, you know, bullshit her around, which I think is going to be so fun to see. It's almost like I feel like the, the bachelor is coming back to its core, really.

You guys were asking me earlier if I still watch the show and I have had such a struggle with watching some of the young adults who come on the show because as a grown woman who is married for almost 10 years and all of this step

I have a hard time relating to the young girls because I'm also like they have no clue like they have an old other world ahead of them they have no clue about but with Claire

the nice thing is is that Claire has been around for a while and she is a grown ass woman there's something really beautiful in that and also what I so appreciate about appreciate about Claire is that she's not someone to be reckoned with.

Like, she is not a pushover. She knows exactly what she wants and she is willing to stand up for what she believes in. And I so appreciate that in someone because at 26, when I was on the show, I couldn't do that. I was 24 when I was on the show. Like, I was a baby. I was the youngest girl on our season. Like, I was a baby. And I like, Jason laughed about it all the time because when we were filming,

And I would always tell him, like, I'm super mature for my age. But like, look at him. I mean, she knows. Okay, in your defense, in your defense, I feel like there is a difference because of, and we were talking about this before, the social media aspect. Yeah. So a 24-year-old, then is a little different from a 24-year-old now? I have to say that, but I just thought about this while we were talking.

So Claire has had an unfair, maybe fair advantage. this is the silver lining and the fact that she had to wait months for her season to start. Her cast was released in March. Oh, she was telling me all about that. A deep dive into all these men. She was all over Instagram. None of us got to do that, right?

And I remember even me coming on next season. I didn't even know who he was. I was like, oh, who is he? I had to Google him. So, like, we don't get to see and get that advantage of who, maybe who the season were going on before or who's coming on to ours. do you think that helps or helps or hurts Claire?

I think she'll go in with an idea and it may not be what she's expecting. I think it could pose some challenges for sure. You know, like you see someone and think about what you see on social media. It isn't reality anyway. So I don't know. I think it helps Claire and it hurts production. That's what I think. Oh, good.

Hot take, hot take. Because from speaking with Claire, she had at the time to go home and dive deep into that Instagram struggle. She got to look at all of the guys and also during quarantine she got to see once they were already cast to the show who was still taking it

very seriously and who was out partying every single night posting photos of themselves with their girls or whoever else was around. So I think walking into the situation I think for Claire she already had maybe a pre-judgment of what was to come and then unfortunately for production

like the idea of surprise is gone well how do you think she's going to have these conversations with these guys though like the beauty of the show is you've never met the person so you can sit and ask them all the normal things you would ask of someone you just met but like is she going to be like so I saw

the trip you took in 2017 to Greece oh you know she's going to call them out you know she's going to be asking those questions I feel like she's going to make a lot of cuts early on. Like, if I was her and I knew enough, I would, I would be like, okay, these are, like, I only want half the guys to continue moving forward with me.

And that's where I want to invest my time. It'll be interesting. She's sitting on all of those roast ceremonies like, hey, I was taking a look down your Instagram. And remember on July 17th when you had your shirt off and that girl was licking your belly up from the other? Who was very disturbing? Who is Amy?

Who is Amy? That would be him. I think that's what's so great about this too. And I don't know if we talked about this off camera or on, Becca, but also the fact that these guys know they're not going to be the bachelor coming in. Oh, right. I didn't even think about that. And they won't be traveling.

So it's like the reason why I think people go on the show, like, hopefully it's to find love or a partnership. Yeah. But I think people go on, they're like, oh, you know, we're still going to travel and build friendships. and the fact that, like, they can't do half of what we had the opportunity to do. I mean, Dian, I think you said it. One of you girls said it. Like, it's kind of going back to the core

and, like, back to the basics. Now you're taking away all of that extra, like, hoo-ha, like, glitz and glam. And it's really, like, just down to the dates and getting to know the other person. Dion, do you honestly, like, travel a lot on your season? I don't. I cannot tell you how many times Trista and I text each other.

and we are so jealous of all of you guys. Yeah, we didn't really either. Our dream vacations. And I went to like the Bahamas. And it was the point where I was so covered. And I'm not saying the Bahamas is not beautiful, but like in comparison to like Tokyo and Greece and all of these beautiful places, Trissa and I were like, what the heck?

Like how did this happen to us? I was so covered in bug bites in the Bahamas that they would no longer let me wear shorts or skirts. They made me wear pants because I was like unpresentable. I looked like I had scabies or something. Oh, go ahead, Becca. No, I was going to say so, you know, Molly, before you joined us, we talked a little bit about Deanna's children. Obviously, you have some beautiful children and you both have daughters.

So would you, once they come of age, let the daughters go on the show? I mean, if this show is still around when Riley is of age, like, there's a bigger problem there. It very well might be. We don't know. Oh my gosh. You know what? I cannot even go there because right now I'm dealing with the fact that Addison knew that my season,

well, she knew like I was going to be on TV again, you know, and she wanted to watch. And she saw a couple photos that were in my phone of what someone sent to me. It was like one picture of me kissing Brad. She was like, oh my God, Molly,

I don't know how I'm forgetting this. Jason's season is on Netflix. Yeah. And the kids were watching something on the TV. And I just popped it up to see. what showed because I'll never live down the fact that everyone thinks I went back on that final episode to win Jason

back and I'm like that's not what happened I realize that's the way it played but I just went back to give Jason advice like Jason and I had been talking the whole way through filming so I knew it was like Holly I knew all about Melissa like I knew everything and so I was watching that and Addison was like who's that man

that is not my daddy that is so incredibly hard to explain to a six and a half year old we've got Ty who is 15 and so he's the closest of all bachelor kids that could potentially be on the show yeah and when it popped up on Netflix like we had never let him watch it before because this is weird so he found it on Netflix and he's like I'm going to start watching this and I like that week was the most mortifying week of my life yeah yeah every time I like popped in the room to like check on him and I like saw myself I would run right out but like he has said before like I could totally go on

this show. And he's, I mean, he's, the show could potentially still be on when he's of age. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. I don't know. He'd be the first kid from another. Bachelor kid. You shouldn't have said this. Shoo-win. It's like the draft. They're recruiting him for several years down the road. Yeah, right. Hopefully he doesn't listen to this podcast. Um, Molly, I want to ask you this, what was your greatest thing to come from being on the show? And then what was also the worst? I'm sure it's, you know, we can all maybe guess. But I won't. want to hear it from you um i mean the obvious is like finding jason marrying him having our family but

that's just too obvious that like goes without saying i think um it changed my perspective on life like before i went on the show i was a workhorse like i did corporate retail i was like this is what i'm going to do for the rest of my life i'm going to work at a desk nine to five i was just like laser focused on it and the show opens your eyes to so much more in life with like the opportunities that come your way, I ended up getting a job in radio from being on the show and have done that the past six years. And that never would have happened had I not gone on the show. So I think I just, it gave me like a new lease on life almost. Like there's more to sitting behind a desk. And I also have this big platform where I can do good and promote good things and just, I don't know,

it, it just gives you a different life. And I'm super grateful for it. I mean, the hardest thing was all the backlash that we got from our finale, but that was also short-lived. Like, time does feel all wounds. And, like, I haven't, with our season being back on Netflix, I haven't had one single negative comments on social media about it. So it's like, I don't have anything bad to say. Like, we went through a bad time, but I think that brought Jason and me closer together. And so I'm grateful for it all.

It's so true if you can withstand it together because I, everybody has a hard time, especially these days with social media coming out of your finale. You think you're so happy to finally announce to the world that you found this person that you're so in love with and it worked. And then social media is like, uh-uh, we think in a different way. And it's so hard. And then you have to do media rounds.

And I'm not sure, Molly, if you did that, but you have to do the media rounds after. And everyone's criticizing you and the questions. And they're asking you questions about what didn't happen rather than what did happen. And it's tough. But in that moment, you realize, if we can face this and overcome it together, you can overcome anything because the world is criticizing you. And so it's really, really powerful to come out on the other side of it.

One thing I want to say before we let you guys go is like we talked about it over and over. And it's such a theme for our podcast. But we love to have strong women, independent, influential women on the show, which is exactly who you guys are, which is why you're here. No, truly, you are women that Becca and I look up to. And we hope that contestants to come on the show, the next bachelorette, just women in general who are fans of the show that may never come on it, and you shouldn't,

but may never come on the show, can look up to you. What advice do you have for Claire coming up? And just for women in general, who are trying to find their Prince Charming, or maybe who might be in a bad situation, or just feel a little hopeless when it comes to love. Fiona, do you want that? I love you, Mom.

I think I've said this to Claire. God, a time or two for sure. My advice for Claire was to just, I mean, for sure, take it all in, but ultimately to stay true to who you are. It is so easy throughout this process to get caught up. And I think the four of us can all say the same thing. it is so easy to just blend into the noise around you. And I mean, producers, I mean everyone's opinion on social media,

everything that is going to go into this. But if you really, at the end of the day, can come into your own and sit alone and really put yourself back to who you are and where you came from and what it is that you want, I think that that is the most important thing to do throughout this. Because, I mean, it is really hard to be on a date to have the people around you

who you think are your friends saying, oh, don't you love him? He says he loves you. Can't you picture your life together? This is going to be so great. Oh my God. Oh, my God. It's really hard not to get caught up into that. So if you can really, really, really stay true to who you are and what it is that you want

out of this. And I think that's so important. Yeah. I think, I mean, it goes hand in hand, like exactly what I would say. And I tell this to everybody who asks, like, what have you learned? What's the biggest piece of advice you would give people? And it's to not care what other people think. Like, if I would have listened to what everyone around me was saying after our show, I want to stay with Jason.

And we've been married for 10 years, you know, like, you've got to just do you. And it's no fun to live life the way other people want you to live your life. You know, like you can't be authentic to yourself then. You've got to just not care what other people think and, like, block out the noise. It's so true because don't you feel, we do it so often. I don't know if it's just like innately within us. But then, and I had this epiphany when I turned 30, that it was like, whose life am I living?

You know, I'm saying yes to so many people and letting so many other opinions control my life, but what do I want? I'm the one who's got to live this life. And I think that it's easy to say, but it's so hard to do. So thank you guys for that. Because the other part of you, right, you want to please all of those people around you. You want to make everyone happy. But ultimately, the only person that matters in this is you.

Is you matter? Yes. Oh, well said. Yeah. And I think that's such good advice, especially in this day and age when there's social media, when we literally have opinions flooding inboxes. And it's just there's no, truly no getting away from it unless you like totally go off the grid. That that's something that, you know, and even for me, I'm just turned 30 this year. And that's something that, you know, I'm always like, oh, I know what I want less. Like I know what I stand for. And I'm like, especially with 2020, I'm like, oh my, what do I as Becca Kouffer and want? And I think that's such great advice. for every girl listening, like, you know, just take time and sit in your own thoughts in your heart and like what's going to fill you and make you, you, you specifically like Bachelor girls, girls who have been on the show, girls who are thinking about going on the show, I think the most important thing people need to remember, this goes away. It goes away. You are not going to be

so-and-so from the Bachelor for forever. You cannot rely on that and live your life for that because it is going to go away. And then what are you left with? Yeah, exactly. I think one of the meeting too is like, I know, come on, please. There's no more than being known as the girl who chose Jesse Sinsack on a reality. I was going to say to you, Becca, like, bring on your 30s. And I'm sure Molly can agree with me. I genuinely loved my 30s and even more so I'll be 39 in a couple of months.

And I feel more myself and more secure as a woman, as a wife, as a parent, just as a an individual, like, more so than I ever was. I know who I am, and there is so much good in that. And that's something that I think Claire even said when we had her on the podcast. And why I think we're going to love watching her so much. And she's like, you know, I'm almost 40. Like, I know what I want. I've been through a ton of really crappy relationships, hopefully some good ones too.

But she's that woman where she's at that place where she's like, I'm not going to settle. I know what I want. I'm going to make this happen. That's what's going to be just really what viewers need on a new, on a new upcoming season. Yeah, for sure. Ladies, thank you so much for participating today. It's like, I don't know, it was like a therapy session, a good girl power. And Deano, you were saying before you came on, there's this women empowering women movement going on social media, women supporting women.

We feel like that's what this podcast has been as well. We just kind of stole that and turned it into this. plus I think your insight and what you've been through the season and just an example of what you've been outside of the Bachelor franchise is really what our listeners need to see and hear. So thank you so much for being here. And you'll have to thank you for having us. What a pleasure.

How lucky are we that we just always get to connect with so many amazing women? It's so good. And then I feel kind of bad. I was listening to something I said. I'm like, oh, but you shouldn't want to come on the show. Actually, I lie. You should come for this. it's not fake it's real you see it it just transcends your seasons whoever you were you know you might

have lived in the house with it just goes beyond that and i can't say everybody coming from the show is like that but a good number of women are you know and it's just a beautiful part that you don't always get to see on the show i mean even peter sees and girls who couldn't stand each other or at least that's what they they would show on camera they all not all of them but they're pretty cordial to each other off camera. Yeah. It looks like they're close. And even like with Peter season, you know, for a lot of the time, I was like, I'm a grandma and I can't relate. Like, I talk to them on DMs every now and again. And I'm like, you know, what I saw on TV doesn't seem like you. And so it's a beautiful thing that hopefully will have the opportunity to meet more in person

one day. And just continue this. It's like a tree and the roots that just keep on growing in the bachelor family in the best way. I love, oh, I love that. I saw the tree. When you said, I love it. Okay, you guys, we hope you enjoyed this episode as much as we did. Make sure you come back next week for more because you know we're going to give you good content every single week. Next week we're going to take a second stab at choosing a name. So if you guys have some more suggestions, please, please DM us. We need one. We clearly need help. We didn't do a good job the first time. We don't want to disappoint anybody, but we want you guys to feel included and we want to be able to have some type of name and community. So thank you guys. for tuning in. Don't forget, you can keep checking in with us on social. We love hearing from you and we love getting all your messages. You know where to find us. If you don't, it's at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Thatch Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. And as always, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast. Take care, guys. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra

credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which

is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff Podcast, season two, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.

One Tribe saved my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. podcast.