Bachelor Happy Hour - Former Bachelorette Jillian Harris Stops By

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

The one and only Jillian Harris is here! Jillian recounts her time as the Bachelorette and reveals how the heartbreak ended up fueling her ambition for success. Jillian also shares advice on how to get over the fear of failure and discloses some of her own business failures that eventually led to her success. Plus, Rachel and Becca answer fan questions and discuss how they mentally prepared to date so many men at once before they started their seasons on “The Bachelorette.” Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Welcome back, happy hour listeners, and we're so excited about our episode today because, as we mentioned last week, we are officially on the road to the premiere of The Bachelorette, and we are so thrilled because, Rachel, I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like we just sat down and had Claire on. And, you know, granted, that was actually a couple months ago, but it feels like he's, yesterday. And so we are a month away from the premiere. And on October 13th, mark your calendars because we are getting our season premiere. And it's not going to be on Mondays. It's going to be on Tuesdays. So make sure you mark that down too. It's going to be a change for us all. But last

week we mentioned that in anticipation of the upcoming season, we wanted to get some former bachelors on who we haven't had on the podcast yet. So we want to get them on and get us all pumped up for this season because what is better than some girl power? And so, we're going to do that today because we are having a very special lady on, one who makes me laugh like no other and who I personally love. I'm sure you do too, but we are having Jillian Harris on. And if you are a dedicated bachelor fan, you know, I mean, she truly does it all. She's so cool. She's not only a mother, a soon-to-be wife. She's a badass businesswoman. Like I said, she does it all. And so we're going to have her on and get her talking to us today

about all things a bachelor's past, present, and future. You know, I was thinking, I'm excited to have Jillian on because I think we both met her for the first time at the same time, which was at the reunion, and a 15-year reunion, and she was hilarious. It's like I had heard about her. I knew that she was the most accomplished Bachelorette, and I still am going to give her that title. But I had no idea what we were in for.

and how great she was going to be. But at the same time, also, when you started talking about how we're on the road to Bachelorette, I was thinking, don't you feel like we've already seen this season? Because more than any other season, there have been so many rumors swirling around this Bachelorette or Bachelorette, plural, whatever it is, season, that I feel like I've already watched it. Yeah, I feel like there's definitely more spoil. out there than there than we've ever had in the past but a i try not to read too much into those

because i don't want to know you can't this one we truly can't help it yeah thanks this one is like to a whole other level because of course there's always some spoilers but this one i mean i think because people are speculating so much but also i feel like there's so much that when we actually watch each week back on once it starts i guess we're going to be like oh my gosh like it's It's just going to be, like, I don't even know. I don't even know. Like, I just want to watch it. I want to get to know the guys because I heard that there's more guys than there's ever been.

I just, it's going to be, you know, and I think I said this on the podcast a couple weeks ago. But when Chris Harrison always comes out and says, the most dramatic season ever, I truly think that that is going to live up to the title for this season. I'm just like, that's it. I'm calling clear. Anyways. Okay. So, yeah, I do. I totally feel like it's all.

it's all been played out, whether it be in the rumor mill or, you know, it definitely isn't popping off in our Bachelorette chat. I'll tell you that. I know. I feel like we're all like, Claire speak to us. Tell us something. We know, we know nothing. I feel like we're trying to dig so much. Like the way we'll ask questions, like word things for Claire is like, we want something. But she is so tight-lipped. I mean, she'll respond and, you know, she'll give us like the baseline. It's like, oh, I'm good. How are you guys doing? But I'm like, give us more. Wait, can I ask you this?

Because I got a lot of flak from this. And it's typically from Facebook moms because I'm not well liked on Facebook. And usually the people who are coming at me all look the same. I got a lot of flack for being confused by Claire's poster for the Bachelorette. I had never seen the graduate. So I didn't understand the concept of it. And then in real time. during an interview somebody explained it to me and I was like what I'm a little bothered by

this why are we playing into this cougar mentality did we do it for Ari did we do it for Nick I mean I literally was like they might as well dress Claire up in animal print and tell it a roar mm-hmm I don't like it well no and that was my first thing that I said because when I I woke up one day and one of my friends sent it to me and she was like what does this mean And I, for whatever reason, had just recently watched The Graduate. And I was like, oh, it's after this movie. But I was like, if I was clear, I'd be a little bit bothered by this, too. And that was my first reaction.

Like, you said, it's played into this Cougar. It's like, okay, yes, she's the oldest bachelorette. Like, let's get over it at this point. She's still there for why we all became the bachelorette. And that was hopefully to find a partner. And who cares if she is a little bit older? Like, let her just do her thing now. It's played out.

And so the fact that that was the ad rut that they were going. going to, I was like, hmm, I would not enjoy that if that was me. It was a, I don't like to double standard. And the first time I saw it was on Chris Harrison's Instagram. So I thought it was a joke. I was like, why does Chris Harrison have his foot in the middle of Claire's poster? I was so confused. And up until I had that interview, but I'm not being critical.

Like, everyone's like, oh, Rachel criticizes everything. I just am like, we got to support our girl here. There's so many other aspects to highlight about her. Why are we, we get it. She's the oldest bachelorette. Surely there's more to her than that. Let's not that be the whole spiel or the stick when it comes to Claire. Yeah.

Yeah, let it die here. Okay, we know her age. Who cares? Let it go. Let her just find love and enjoy the journey of this all. Yeah, it could have been 39 and fine, 40 and fabulous, you know, like whatever. Like, I don't know. It could have been, I didn't like it.

I wanted to know how you thought about it. have like a theme for your poster black well I'm trying to see what your poster looked like I don't I might yeah I didn't have one it well yours was

it's a doing the damn thing right let's do the damn thing mine was that's our girl I guess I guess that was but like I felt I could have sworn there was a commercial that was something like she's bold she's bad I might have made that

up in my head. I don't know. Are you still wanting this? I really think I made that up in my head. But you know what? Like actually thinking about it, it wasn't, maybe it wasn't until Hannah because they kind of played off the whole beauty pageant, you know, where she ripped out the skirt and had the crown and threw it. I loved that. That was fabulous. Yeah, but and it was so fitting for her. So maybe it wasn't until her that they had like a theme or this hopefully we should ask Jillian

when Jillian comes on let's ask her if she had one if she had a theme because like I feel like for us they do songs now but I'm very curious with her if she had a thing because I what are they going to do for Claire here's to you Mrs. Robinson like no that's exactly what they did with the poster

I know but the foot is his biggest Claire I'm so upset by it I'm so upset Oh my gosh. One of my friends actually sentenced me, she's like, do you know whose foot this is? Like, is this one of the dudes? I'm like, no, they're not going to actually pick one of the guys from her season to, like, be the foot model for her poster. I mean, maybe. It's been its foot. It's been its foot. Shut up. No, I'm just kidding. I have no idea. I have no idea. Just took the loaf of her off and here's this nice dog.

It's Dustin Hoffman's. It's Dustin Hoffman's foot. They brought him in just for that moment. Just for this. Oh, God. I hate it. Okay. Well, listen, I had to get your take on that, but I also want to do something fun because we talked about this on the podcast before. And we love when you guys send in questions or tell us what you think, especially your burning bastard questions. So we thought before we bring Jillian on, it would be fun because we asked you guys on Instagram to send in your questions. And you guys did not disappoint. You sent in so many replies. So we're going to go through some of them. We can't go through all of them. Maybe we'll do that on the later podcast. But maybe we'll ask Jillian some of the, these questions as well. So I guess I'll ask you the first one. Hmm, as I'm flipping through papers. Oh, I'm curious

about this. From your season, what guy are you the closest to? Oh, that's a good one. I would say probably Jason just because, I mean, he's always just been such a sweetheart and such a fun guy.

one that it was never awkward but also just being close with Caitlin and talking to him and now that he is in LA closer to us I'm like let's get the dogs together so I would say Jason but I still stay in touch not regularly I shouldn't say that but I still like stay

on good terms and talk to some of the dudes every now and again like I mean Joe every now and again like we had him on last week and um like even blake and colton just like checking in and like small chats with them um i don't know if do you remember christan for my season he was the the guy who dunked over me on night one oh the hollum globetrotter yeah so he lives in la and we'll chat every now and again and he has a cute dog so he's like let's get the dogs together so yeah i Jason's probably like the closest i would say okay you i as you were saying it i was thinking

I, because I'm like, who has my phone number? Like, I feel like that shows a level of closeness. And I think, I think Alex is the only one that has my phone number. So, you know, Alex was at our wedding and it's so funny. Because I don't know if I've said this before, but a lot of my family members thought Alex was Brian. And they kept saying, congratulations. Congratulations.

And Alex was like, at one point he was like, you know what? I just ran with it. I would just say, thank you so much. Thank you. So happy. I appreciate it. but they do like the dark hair they're tall they're like both built like i can i guess if if they didn't really know brian and that was their first time i get it it was i i was like

are they is that are they he's really doing that that's hilarious and i love that he embraced it i would i would say Alex who i haven't talked to in a while but then there are other people that like eric you know i communicate with um who else i've even communicated with peter krause you know through and i think that's probably going to be a shocker to so many people because people are thinking of the last time we saw each other, which was on stage. But that was also three years ago. We're adults here and we can all move on. Yeah. And I feel like even this, people read into everything. Like you could like someone's photo and people would be like, oh my gosh, is she flirting with him? Are they talking? Like they just,

it's like, no, but like you said, we're all adults. Like the world, this world bonds you in such a weird way that unless you had like a really terrible falling out or experience with someone I can't imagine you not being on okay terms with someone and you know what's funny is we talk we were like man because we were talking about black lives matter and um and like he was asking me like questions about it and stuff and like for some advice about like responses he had gotten and it's funny because we were like man we almost hit that follow button but then what like it would just turn into something that it shouldn't because I still get messages that tell me, you know, you were really into Peter and it's like, guys, you guys, I'm married now. I just celebrated a year anniversary.

So we were, it's sad because we were like, yeah, probably not a good idea to hit that follow button. It's just, you know, people, yeah, they just read so much into it that it's hard sometimes, but I get it. But, okay, I'm going to ask you one of these. These are all so good. Okay, this is, I want to ask you this too, because I, I feel like you probably were in a better headspace and could prepare a little bit better. I'm just like, well, whatever, go with the flow.

But how did you mentally prepare yourself to date so many men? Oh, so I guess, see, I think it's badass to be able to say, you know what? Whether you're here for the right or wrong reasons, you're on my season. This is my season of The Bachelorette. You know, so I felt very empowered. I felt very in control. I loved being in the driver's seat. I'm a tourist.

I'm an enneagram eight. We've talked about these things. I love that. That is very much so me. And it was invigorating. It was refreshing. And I was the first woman of color. I was the first black bachelorette.

It was something to me, it was an honor. And I went into it with that mentality. I also went into it with the mentality that I'm open for this, but there's absolutely no way I'm going to fall for these men. You know, there's no way they can. play matchmaker for me and it'll work. So I think I had kind of psyched myself out about it and I didn't have high expectations. And that's why after the first night, I was like, I remember I turned to Caitlin, my producer, for those of you don't know, and I was like, whoa, I think I might be in some trouble.

I think there's the potential here. I was like, dare I say, I think I might have met my husband tonight. I couldn't believe it. So I think for me, it was just a little different going in. What about you? Yeah. I mean, I just went in. I think I was so nervous at first because I, I mean, I knew going in, like, some of the guys would hopefully be there and like me.

And some of the guys were just doing it to go on this TV show and make a name for themselves. And so I was very, I think, guarded at first where I was like, I need to really weed out like the wrong ones here. But kind of like you after night one and you start to interact and actually talk. to them, you see like, oh man, like maybe I could actually form some connections here. Like, I remember leaving night one being like, I'm hopeful for a handful of these guys. Like, I know a lot of them aren't here for me. A lot of them, like, aren't going to be into me. And that's okay. But as long as I had some, but like to mentally prepare yourself to date 30 dudes, it's just like, you're like, you kind of just stand there and you're like,

let's make this happen. What do we got to do? Like, I'll just sit here. You guys can come to me. we'll have a nice little chat, like bring me champagne, bring me treats, like whatever. But it's, it's funny looking back because it's such a whirlwind and it does go by so fast. But now looking back, I'm like, hmm, 25 plus men. I could, like, I would relive that again. And here's the thing. For all those guys that came for the wrong reason, at the end of the day, they will always be known as so-and-so from Becca's season. You know, any article that mentions them, any Google or whatever, it's like, like, like,

blank blank from beck's season so-and-so from rachel season of the bachelorette it's like yeah that's right you're always going to be attached to my season and my name i just think it's it's and plus i'm a serial dater so i'm like 30 men i've done no i haven't done this before but i mean just saying it's i love every bit of it that's why i thought it was interesting to hear trista talk about the stigma that was placed on her it's so crazy how things change over the years because now you're looked at as like such a strong independent woman wrangling these men in whereas trista did it it was like almost as like a negative connotation was placed on her to be a woman dating all these men there was such a double standard so yeah it's like taboo kind of i mean especially back then but i think about it now

just like in my life now because obviously like i am single and now that i can say that it's easier to like talk about like where I'm out but I think like you know I never like I was always in exclusive relationships when I was with someone like that was the first time where I could really like explore multiple relationships at once and really balance them out and so now I'm like you know what like I'm 30 like I'm ready to maybe like be okay with like not having to like throw all my eggs in one basket per se and be like only you like this is my goal in mind and just kind of like enjoy the experience that life and dating has to offer so it's um it's definitely fun though it's like a weird weird thing to do but it's like i don't think any girl would turn that opportunity down no you know

don't if you get if you get offered the bachelorette you take it all these future bacheloretts out there and can i just also say something about being 30 first of all you know welcome to this decade but for for becca and all my other bachelor happy hour listeners who are in their 30s are about to approach 30, there is nothing like stepping into your 30s. And I know you've heard it before, but it's, I can't explain it. It's like you wake up and you're like, I get it. And there's so many things that you did in your 20s that you leave behind. And there's so many things that come to you in your 30s, like wisdom, just like the maturity, the growth, even the beauty that comes out of it, like internally and physically, I can't tell you what it is about turning 30, but it's like

a light bulb goes off. And I, you know, and I showed this with you privately, Becca, that like I came out of a really, really tough relationship when I was 31. And I was like at the bottom. And then later in that year, my entire life changed. I don't know. There is something magical about your 30s that I'm so excited for you and all you other 30-year-olds out there. Rachel, the fact, you just gave me chills all over because when you just said magic, that is exactly what I was about to say is like I feel like it's this weird, like magical spot that I'm in right now. Like maybe it's the fact that I also moved to L.A.

and it's like this new chapter, but it just feels like magic. It is. It is. I'm telling you, remember when the song, 30 is the new 20 came out? And I remember I was like in my 20s. I might even been my teens. And I was like, that's just something 30-year-olds are saying to sound young. Okay, now that I'm in my 30s, I'm like, yes, 30 is the new 20.

And it feels so good. Yes, welcome, you guys. There's nothing like turn of 30. We're not just saying this here because we are in our 30s. I'm telling you. Also, I will say I'm not considering myself 30 quite yet because I never had a party because I was in quarantine. So I'm the day things can open up and I can plan everything and like do something fun with people that's when I

turn 30 officially but I also like I'm embracing the 30 so I do like it no I'm all I'm all for a good party so like I'm hopping on that train to let's do it let's do it so whoever sent this one in they asked do we think filming should be

longer and would we want it to be and this is a great question because it is my last week with the guys with my last two guys in the Maldives I sat down with my uncle Chuck and he asked me that same question because he could tell I was so stressed I was so anxious and he's like if filming he's he's good he always comes in with the hard hitting questions though and for me at that point obviously like I had two great guys I was trying to decide between and so he was like if you had more time would you take it and I remember being like who like shit yes if I could I would and he's like well then maybe you're not ready and I'm like but I think I am but like you just made me question things but I think I don't know. It's like you want to get on with your life and find your partner and you don't want to keep filming and being our own cameras. But if you had a little bit of more time, I would have personally loved that. I would have taken it, but not like a ton. Just, you know, a couple weeks. I would say no, actually. You're ready. If I would have wanted more time in the beginning, but once I had gotten to the end and I had narrowed it down, I was stuck in a place where I knew what I wanted to do, but I was. was still, it was hard for me to let go of the other guy. And so I think more time would have just

made me more confused. And I think more like I knew what I needed to do and I needed to be very matter of fact and decisive and make that decision and not get caught up in a type of relationship that I'm used to. And I don't know what I would have done with more time, you know, like would I have been pushing for something that wasn't there? Would I have been, you know, like I don't know if I would have been caught up in all of that. And I think, you know, like, it's what is the, what is the saying? And well, I was going to say that the saying of an idle mind is a devil's playground, but that doesn't really fit. I think what I was more so saying is like, I feel like when you have more time to wonder, your mind can can go maybe to places that it shouldn't.

So for me, because I knew what I wanted to do and I knew what I was holding on to, like why, why I couldn't let go of it, I don't think it would have been, it would have been good for me. I would have wanted more time in the fantasy suites. That's what I would say. Well, well, when you put it that way? I don't know. Like, it's hard for me now because of Brian, because I'm like, okay, yeah, obviously I would love more time in the fantasy suites.

But it's hard for me because, like, I don't, I can, I remember, okay, go back to when you were on The Bachelor, it's hard for you as a contestant wondering because you have so many days of, okay, what are they doing? What is he doing now? Did he fall for him? Like, what did they talk about? They had all this time where nobody else could be there. Was it like what we had? You wonder that. And I just remember, that was the most miserable week as a contestant. So now it's like that I was Brian. It's like, would I want to go back and do that to Brian? That's a good point. Yeah. That well said. And speaking of more time, we unfortunately, we wish we could have more time to answer more of these questions. But hopefully we'll get around to it in the next couple of weeks. It's always fun. Kind of taking a walk down memory lane. And I feel like every time we talk through these things, like new memories come up for both of us. And we're like, wait, what about this? And I remember feeling like this. So it's always a good time. So keep DMing us your questions. We love to answer them when we have enough time. But we love you guys. So now it's actually time for our guest. because we need to bring her on.

And like we said earlier, Jillian is one of the coolest people. She's a designer. She owns multiple, multiple businesses. She's a mother and a soon-to-be wife. But on top of all that, she's also, like us, a former bachelorette. So she has a very soft place in our hearts.

So please, everybody, welcome Jillian Harris. I mean, first, let's just start. Like, how are you? I'm great. Hey, girl. How's nice? Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

I just wait. I got to just address this first. But Becca, you're in. a nursery. Whose nursery are you in? Call around. I was like, people are probably going to think I'm pregnant. I'm in my nieces. She's turning a year this week. So I'm back in the Midwest for her birthday. So it's my niece's bedroom, much cuter than my own, I should say. Yeah, thank you. My sister has a like a fun little quirky touch. So I love it. I love it. I'm like, we're talking about kids. I'm like,

wait a second. I was so worried about where I was doing my podcast, but I could have really done it anywhere. You're in a nursery. I mean, this is true. Oh, yeah. We used to do it through our closets. Oh, I love it. Hey, this is so, so anyways, I'm good, but just first, I just got to get through this. So you guys have been doing this podcast for like almost a year now or how long? That's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. It's been a lot of fun. It's going well. Yeah. Yeah. It's so great because we get to reminisce a lot, which is, you know, like we're going to go down memory lane with you. But we get to reminisce about our times.

We get to connect with the fans because you don't normally get to do that. You know, when you're on a TV screen, I'm putting the show together, but you don't get to interact with fans. We've had fans come on the show. Then we get to talk to the future contestants and leads. So it's like we all, like, we get to connect with everyone.

It's fantastic. This is my favorite having past bachelorette's. Like having you on, we always get so excited because we were talking about, you know, we met you at the 15 year bachelor reunion last year. But it bonds us in such a way. So it's always fun to have any woman on.

that just is a go-getter but like you are just the epitome of a bachelorette badass oh thank you yeah but you girls too you guys are doing so many amazing things like you guys have got you guys have so much going on and I feel like that is something so cool when you're bonded by this group of people that listen like this life that we're doing isn't for everybody so if you really do want to like detach and have a family then you can do that and you're still a part of the group and you're still accepted and appreciated but then also if you want to like release your own line of clothing or do host host like national television or if you want to have a public wedding private wedding doesn't really matter but it does give you that opportunity to have that platform and then have these people

that support you along the way and cheer you along the way whatever your success looks like it's so cool yeah yeah i want to ask you that speaking of success can't kaelin bristow has talked about this like one bit of advice that i think you gave her when she came off the show was you know find who you are don't if you don't just want to be so and so the bachelorette like find what like fills your soul and makes you you and go from there so where did you find that spark and then also plan on to that like tell us everything that you are working on because it's a lot so i think i actually go back to the story my very best friend shannon her mom i i went to i registered myself in school when i graduated to be a teacher i wanted to be a friendship

immersion teacher because I spoke French as a second language. I don't know anything yet at this point, but back then I was like fluent French. And she said to me, she's like, I just don't, she's like, of course, she's a psychologist. She wanted me to go off and be successful. And she's like, I just don't picture you doing that. I picture you with like a briefcase and like starting businesses. And when you're young, when you're 19, you're like, but what does that mean? Like that, I was almost offended because I felt like I knew what my path was, but other people were telling me I was wrong. And then when I was right before I went on The Bachelor, I got into restaurant design somehow. I did have some interior design background, but not a lot, none in restaurants, but I just

kind of like squeeze my way in there through basically like sales. Like I think that's always been my thing. I've always loved marketing and sales, but I just didn't know, I didn't know what that looked like on paper or in education, but that was always my thing. And I actually kind of got fired from that. job because they told me that I just wasn't corporate enough. And I remember my heart just being broken because I felt like, oh, I'm going to be this established restaurant designer and all these people will respect me. And then I got fired basically because my personality. And my personality was,

it was weird. Like he just said, like it just doesn't seem like you fit in with this corporate atmosphere. And I was so heartbroken. But he sat down. The guy who owns a big company here in Canada are called Tactus Club Cafe. It's like your version of Houston's and Gulf Stream. You guys know that group of restaurants? Houston's, love it. Houston, yeah, very similar. And similar success-wise and vibe-wise and everything.

And he said, I know you're really hurt right now, but I really feel like you are going to have a career in television. And I was like, what? And he goes, your personality, he's like, it's too big for here. and I was just only was offended like I was so offended and I remember crying going home and crying to my parents

and saying like part of my language but like what the fuck is that supposed to mean you're supposed to go on TV like how does somebody just get on TV okay thanks Richard I'll just go and get on TV right now that's awesome like really nice and so I kind of lived with that

shame for a few years of the fact that somebody let me go and they thought I was going to be a TV host but of course everybody wants to be TV hosts like easier said than done and then I decided I was watching um what's the guy I don't even know who he was but he got engaged to the Lamas girl um she Shane Lamas her family is super like Hollywood and her dad is like a producer and she it was like I don't even know what season it was but she's like blonde, big lips.

She actually has a big following on Instagram, which is funny because none of us, I think she doesn't want to be associated with The Bachelor anymore, but that was kind of her claim to fame. I loved her dress. And I remember thinking, like, I need to apply on this show so that I can have a dress like that.

Like, so weird. Like, I don't know what I was thinking. Of course, I didn't want to get married and have kids, but it was, I thought that she was like the cutest little button, and she encouraged me to apply on the show. but it said right on the right on the thing American applicants only like basically no Canadians so I was like I'm gonna try anyway it's like you never know they might really like me and um so I got on on the bachelor and it was so weird because I was like oh my god this Richard guy was right

like now it's happening like how did that like somebody else manifested my dream I didn't even manifest it right but anyways um i have always been kind of the entrepreneurial spirit um like as a kid i always had businesses i cleaned houses i'm like forest dump like i've done every job and then when i came off the show i remember being so brokenhearted because i knew in my heart of heart that ed and i were not a good fit but i just wanted that forever love i'm going to start crying so bad and I wanted to be a mom so bad. I'm like I'm starting to cry again and I remember feeling like that was never going to happen for me and he's probably going to hear this through friend for friend but like he was really so douchy to me back then he was not a good person to me and so it just

instead of me seeing it as like oh I know I deserve better than him it was the opposite for me like how does he not see that I have so much to offer like I just totally totally broke my heart and And I was very sick at that time, like mentally. I think I was like 96 pounds. And this is when Caitlin was coming off of The Bachelorette. Oh, no, sorry. No, I'm mixing up my timeline. But I just remember being so sick and feeling like I was never going to find myself.

And my family and friends just kept on reminding me of like, but what were you before that? you now have this platform and this opportunity to do whatever you want and that is sort of like what fueled my fire to just go okay I know this is going to happen for me eventually I just need to focus on what I can control right now and it was everything from like interior design to communicating to connecting people to creating giving back to charities storytelling all of that and so now you know

and then of course I did I did a thing for a while you remember Extreme Makeover Home Edition Mm-hmm Oh yes Oh yeah And then I got offered like this What does that show I did for seven years

Love at our List at Vancouver It was on HDTV I was like babbling I might even give you guys a chance to ask any questions No this is great to hear from you though Yeah but while I was doing that I did love it but I felt like I didn't have my own voice

I felt like an actress I felt like I showed up on set I got my makeup done which was the best part of the day and then I just did what I was told and even though it was great money and like a great opportunity I felt like my energy was better used out there doing what I wanted to

talk about telling my story the way I wanted to tell it. And so after I had Leo and I was pregnant with Annie and after seven seasons and they asked me to come back and I have no maternity leave with any of the kids, a maternity leave on Canadian standards is pretty awesome. So I probably did have Matt leave the American style, but not Canadian style. And so I just kind of said, I'm not going to go back for any more seasons until I can just take a break and spend some time with the kids and grow my business. And so that's kind of where I am right now. Now I'm just like, okay, now spending the last year being like, okay, what am I now

that I'm not a TV host? What else can I do? And I'm sure that's what people want to hear because we know you, so we know, you know, you have your presets, you have your books, like you have your Jillian box. Like, tell us all those projects that you're working on. Right. Okay. So yeah, there is a lot right now. I can't name them all. I'm like, what have? Um, um. Um, So, yes, the cookbook released last October, and I don't know if I'm just to say anything, but we are working on a second cookbook. Good. I was going to ask if there's another one coming.

Yeah. I love the first one. Thank you so much. Yeah, it was a labor of love. And honestly, I didn't know how it was going to do because they're your own recipes. They're like, anybody going to like the spaghetti sauce as much as me? So it actually did number one bestseller on Amazon for like two weeks, which, So, like, we dedicated the whole book to my grandma, and she basically died a month before it went, it went live, so she didn't get to see that.

But on our book tour, there was all these little songs that she was there with us. Absolutely. The cookbook, and yes, the presets were super cool. We would always get people asking us how we edit our photos, and so we just decided to release the presets. And I know a lot of other influencers are doing that right now. So if you're listening and you're thinking of doing that and you think you've got your own. touch on releasing presets, I would suggest it because it's been, it's been fun to have a product that isn't an actual product. So you're not worried about like the environmental impact of somebody

buying this product because there's no resources that goes into it except like an edge of your brain, right? And then also it allows your community to get creative and to want to capture memories and then to be artistic on their own, which I really loved instead of just selling them something. what is something that could feed their soul and get them creative again and also I mean it was really good and financial room for us

so it allowed us to get an office and hire more people and brainstorm about what our next thing was and then the jilly box was born on the fact so just to give you a rundown the jillie box is like a subscription box it's a quarterly box filled full of like my favorite things

but also newly discovered things We try to brought ourselves on the box being like 98% plastic free. Most of our brands are either small brands or, you know, like kind of my litmus test is like your company has to be at least one of the following, like a female own and operated, small brand Canadian, either North American made, eco-friendly, giving back to a charity. recently my eyes were opened with everything that's been happening with Black Lives Matter. So really thinking about like a BIPAC own brand and LGBTQ own brand, brands that are owned by people with disabilities. So really thinking how to diversify that box as well. And we've just really been connected with some amazing brands and companies and women that way. And so the idea I thought was, I'm going to make 5,000 boxes.

And hopefully I can sell all. these boxes. But I just, I guess I must have just ramped it up so much over the year leading up to it. I didn't realize I had done that that when we went to go launch, there was like 100,000 people waiting. Oh my gosh. And they were pissed. They were like, I'm 75,000 in line. I'm never going going to get this box. And so then I was like, oh my God, I'm never going to be able to sell this many, like how, if I'm planning, if I want this box and this business to be these high-end items from these small brands, some of these brands have never sold 200 of their products, like a mug, let alone 5,000, 100,000, like, they're never going to be able to, like, to sell

100,000 of something, it has to be mass produced. Right. And I'm like, that's just not what I wanted this to be. Like, yeah, I'm sure I could be a multi-millionaire overnight, but I want to go to bed at night knowing that I'm still helping up these small brands. I'm not contributing to the world imploding. And so we reached out to some of the brands who we are already working with on the next box to say like, can you do 10,000? Like is that? Can you do 12,000? So we're slowly trying to figure out how to support some of these smaller brands. And it's not all smaller brands. Like we have a product in the next box that's from Joe Fresh. And so their stuff is made in overseas and but not, but the other seven products are small brands.

Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, because I know we're going to ask you Bachelorette questions, but you're so inspiring. And I, no, no, really. And, you know, one as a Bachelorette because you came before us. And so you paved away for us. And you let us know what we can do and what we can be beyond just Bachelorette,

which is such a fear you have when you go into it. I remember when I came out, I was an attorney. before and I remember when I finished, I felt like I had lost my identity as an attorney. I was just known as the black Bachelorette. And I felt as if I had to start over all over again. And I really did, especially venturing into a different industry. And I think people see us as strong and as independent, but there is a lot of fear that comes with it and it's very scary.

And there is a stigma with going beyond the Bachelorette. Like when I came off, I remember having this conversation with Kelly Rippa, bless her soul. I know she didn't mean to her family, but she's like, oh, you silly girl. Yeah. She hates the she hates the, she hates it. I'm smart. She loves to do those digs with us. But I think something like you're talking about being an entrepreneur and you're talking

about your way and how you got got to where you are. I myself have always wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I am terrified. Like Becca has a label. Becca's working on other things. I have been terrified to start something and I know I'm not alone and I know that there are other people who are listening to this right now

who have ideas but can't get over that fear that they have. So what advice would you give to someone who is trying to like get started? And I know that maybe that's a loaded question but maybe taking it from the beginning of how do you get started? How do you get over that fear? I'm getting a pen because I'm taking notes here.

This is a selfish question. Yeah, I think I have like two or three really, like, concrete takeaways. One is a famous quote by Canadian hockey player, Wayne Gretzky. And I think I've said it more than him. I'm just going to say, Wayne, I'm sorry, it's my quote now. But it's you miss 100% of the shots you take. Like, you just really do. And it's scary, though, because that doesn't mean that every shot you take, you're going to score, right?

So that is one thing. The other thing is just being okay with failure. Like we're talking about all my successes, but there were a lot of failures along the way. I fucked up a lot and had to like apologize to my following or like, you know, I started a company called Charlie Ford Vintage, which was after the bachelor. So I was able to use my, my audience. Technically, I should have been so successful. But it was an epic fail. I lost all of my life savings.

My cousin Tori lost all her life savings. Justin left me at one point. Tori just about got divorced. Tori and I were like a man's made like skinny and stressed out. She lost a like friendship basically over it. And so we don't talk about those things a lot, but it was like going to Harvard. I learned so much about business.

And I've since had business ideas since like the jilly box that I've learned about technology and marketing and what will work and what won't work. And back then it was a drop shipping model, which is a great idea. Like that's what Wayfair and Amazon do. they drop ship, but we were drop shipping antiques. So you sell a teacup for $25 and then you do,

you basically, in the end you're taken home like four bucks. It's just, it's not, and that's one item. So then you've got to find another antique cup. So it just wasn't a good business model. But we failed and it was really hard on us, but you just have to get back on the, is it get back on the horse or the horn or whatever. It's a horse.

You're right. The horn would be really hard to get back on. come on it. I mean, it's good. It might be a better time than more. It has the same size, you know, no, no, no. How it blows. We'll make a vibration.

One might be better than the other. But anyhow, and then the other one is, not everybody has this personality in them, but I get this from my mom, and where I don't really have a strong sense of consequence. So I am one of those people that always gets parking tickets. I'm always running into things. Like, I'm always hurting myself, breaking things,

dropping my phone in the ocean. Because I'm just kind of like, this is a great idea. This is going to work out great. And then when it doesn't work out great, I'm like, oh, yeah, shit, that was not a good idea. So I've made a lot of mistakes along the way. And I think, like, even Rachel, for you,

like I can just tell you and I'm sure everybody listening will tell you that whatever you your heart desires when you go to do that I'm telling you right now it's going to be successful and it's going to be painful and it's going to be difficult like the jilly box is successful but it's a giant pain in the ass and it was so stressful and I honestly at one point thought I was going to have to like this is not I'm not sugar coding this I thought I was going to have to go to the hospital for like anxiety and like depression like I just was like this is insane but I created boundaries I hired more people.

I got strategic. I was like, I have to get through this. Like, what is my option right now? Do I close up my business business and walk away? No, I just have to figure out how to make it work while taking care of my heart and my brain and my family. So I'm like, you just have to like figure it out. But whatever you, I know it is scary, but I'm telling you it's going to be successful.

And if it's not and you fail, there is going to be success in that failure. You're going to learn from that and you're going to do the next thing. That's such great advice. It's so important to talk about the failures. I'm so glad to you, like, I mean, mine, I'd be the most fun thing for you to talk about, but you're a success coming from it. And I think people need to hear that because you see the finished products and you think, oh, like, they did it.

It was easy. Totally. And they don't see the bumps along the way. Yeah, even today, like, I came in five minutes late to work. It was a gong show down here. I came upstairs. Like, what the fuck? There's all these boxes of stuff.

Like, who's sending this stuff? What are we doing this? Isn't there somebody to help us do this? Like, you guys, I got a podcast starting, like, two minutes. I'm tripped down the stairs. I'm like, I'm hungry. I'm like, I'm still yesterday. And I'm swearing and Justin's messaging me. He's like, can you please respond to my text messages? I'm like, I can't. I can barely keep my day together. I might seem like I have it all together, but there's a lot of swearing of those on during the day. But I'm sure

like any of our moms out there hear this. And it's so relatable. It's like you juggle 40,000 things at once. And sometimes you're like, how the hell am I going to be able to get to the next spot? or, like, get my mind right. And so, like, this is real. This is, like, this is what people want to hear because they feel like they're not alone in it. And, and, like, even for me, who's not a mom and, like, my brain moves a million miles a minute.

And it's so frazzled, I'm like, okay, I'm not the only one that, like, has those days or those moments, and they're like, what the hell, you know? It's good to hear. And also, I think that as women, I mean, every person is different. Like, take my cousin Sam, for example, she's just getting into the influencer business right now.

But she has like hard boundaries. She doesn't like to be stressed out. She takes on one thing at a time. And she's not typically running around like a maniac. Can you say maniac these days? I feel like there's a lot of words you can't say. You can say maniac. Anyways, but I just like, I look at her and I'm like, oh man, I wish I was more like that.

But then she looks at me for advice. But one thing I can say, if there's any mom's listening right now, that are trying to juggle it all, even if you're not working, even if you're not an entrepreneur, is that there's some days where I'm running around like a chicken in my head cut off, and I'm like, okay, I still feel a sense of energy and I'm still happy and I know I can get through this day. But like, for example, yesterday we did a jilly box shoot and I felt flat and I felt lethargic and I felt fuzzy and I just didn't feel inspiring and I'm just like, how am I going to get through the rest of this month? Like we have such a busy month.

how am I going to lead my team? How am I going to teach my kids something? How am I going to do this? And I just, I went to bed last night after two glasses of wine and I was just spent. Like, I felt as thinking for all the kids. And so I just want people that are listening to know that there's going to be days where you feel like you're on top of the world.

And there's going to be other days where you feel like a giant failure. And that's normal. That's totally normal. And everybody, I think it doesn't matter whether you're Oprah or whether you're me or whether you're you, that's a number. normal feeling and I think it is important to try to find balance in your life so you're not having those like big roller coasters but at the same time it's normal to have peaks and valleys so this is turning into a therapy session so you can add that to your resume now too because

this is so good for anyone to hear but like me you know you should be teaching those those keep popping up on my Instagram do they keep popping up on y'all's i've seen like Robin Roberts uh shonda rhymes jillian harris that's what needs to be next Jillian, I would, I would tune into, and I would pay big money for any type of class that you are running because I'm just like for me personally, I'm not a creative person to, so to hear you and see all the things that you're doing. It's like, I could be taking, that's what I'm literally taking. I was taking out. You are creative. Both of you and I'm so creative. You are creative. Yeah. I don't know. I think my brain doesn't work to be. Creativity can come in, like, so many different forms. Like, creativity, like, especially with your background in law, Rachel, like, your creativity could come in, like, business leadership or systems

or, like, even finance or just negotiations and all that kind of stuff. Like, you, like, look at what you're doing with your label and everything that's going on. Now you have a new sense of freedom, which I never really got to talk about. We got a little more time on your hand. You know, I'm texting like you after this. Yeah, you use that energy and you use that, like, you use all that fire and all that energy to, like, serve yourself. And also, like, you start off being like,

what can I do to serve myself? And as you feel more confident, you grow, then you realize you can serve others, whether it be through donating to charities or doing speaking engagements and sharing your story or partnering with different brands that, like, speak to you and make you feel better about yourself. Like there's so many different ways with our platform that you can, yeah, be successful, which is awesome.

But the coolest part that I love is when you partner with brands and then they email you and say like, oh my God, we sold out all of our stuff. Like this made our whole year. Or when a fan reaches out to you and says, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm going through a similar situation. Like there's just so many cool things that we now have the opportunity to do because we have this audience. And with all the shit that's going on in the world and you have people listening to us,

we for our kids we have to like yes we can have fun and talk about clothes and wine all that kind of stuff but also there's an underlying message of just like being a good human being and like we we have to be louder than the those other people that are really being really loud right now but to be louder than them so that we can change this climate for our kids and their future yeah Okay, Jillian, I feel like I could talk to you for hours and just pick your brain all things related to business and just creativity and just your path that you've taken because it was a little unconventional, which I think, you know, like there's no one path for anyone. So like I said, I could talk to you about this for hours. But I also do want to pick your brain because I know that people are A going to wonder if you are going to be watching Claire's season. But one thing before we get into that is Rachel and I were talking about just.

how things have changed for especially the Bachelorette throughout the years and you know early on like especially with Trista there was such a stigma around her being the one woman dating multiple men and you know we've seen it grow and evolve throughout the years and so I felt like when I was finally Bachelorette

I didn't get that I didn't get really any judgment people were like okay you do you you just got your heartbroken like go date those guys but for you how have you seen the show evolved since you were Bachelorette well I know that when I first told my parents about it, you know, everybody was like, oh, really? Is this what you're going to do? Like, my parents supported me, but I think everybody was very nervous. Um, especially

because it seemed like at that point, I already kind of had an established career. And I think they were worried about what it would do to my career. And, um, I think it was a little bit of a stigma to it back then. Like, like I was saying earlier, like, oh, you silly girl or, oh, you're going to be sleeping with all these guys or making it with all these guys, which is just so awesome. In hindsight, now that I'm not saying no girl would turn it down at this point yeah and now that I'm a one man woman I'm like those were some good times back then like being able I wish I would have enjoyed it more in the moment but um anyways so there I did feel insecure a little bit coming off of it especially when my relationship didn't turn out with ed I just felt like wow can I not get a break

and what is wrong with me um so luckily my parents raised me to be entrepreneurial and I did like turn it into something positive. But now, I mean, the thing is, you go on the show. I think most people that go on the show are single. But you know, this whole, like, are you on the show for the right reason thing? That thing I don't really understand because I would actually question people more

if they really, truly thought that they were going to find their forever love that way. Like, you really are doing it for the experience, and your experience could be meeting new people, traveling, being exposed to the world, trying something scary, or you could fall in love and get married. But that shouldn't be your primary reason to go on there because I feel like, you know, some of them have worked out, some of them have it. There are no guarantees. And so when people, like, for example, on my season, West, he was a country singer and everybody was like, he only went on

to promote his career. I'm like, yeah, of course. Of course he did. Sounds like a more recent season with Hannah B and Jed. Yes. I don't, yeah. But you can still find love. Like, him and I still developed in a really amazing friendship. I'm still friends with him.

We had the best conversations. Like, I should have picked him, but there were some parts of him that were a little too rough around the edges for me. And I knew he would, like, probably cheat on me and break my heart and whatnot. But we had the best connection. So just because you went on to promote yourself

doesn't mean that's going to prevent you from having a connection with somebody. so and I think people that go on you know with hope and they're like you know it's going to be a fun adventure we get to travel I get to meet new people like if anything it's just a two month long vacation you know if it doesn't work out but yeah I think I think when people go in with such like their expectation of set of like I'm the one I'm going to fall in love it's like you don't know that you have no idea who the other person is and what kind of connection you're going to have so to just The Bachelor

Producers do a really good job of making you believe that you are the only one for that person Right now they're talking to all 30 girls and all 30 girls are getting the same story of like

he is looking for a girl just like you so by the time you meet that person you're like well of course they're going to pick me because that's how I the conversations I've had for the last month but meanwhile every girl is thinking the exact same thing. It's so brilliant. It's so brilliant. Did you, like, I want to ask you, well, God, so many questions. Towards the end, when you were on The Bachelor, like, you know,

one of many women, did you have that self-sense of confidence where you like, you know, I got this in the bag, like, this is it. And then, like, because I remember going into, and, you know, granted, things were very different on Ari's season, but I went into that last day being like, there's no one else. It's me. I got this. I wasn't nervous at last. day because I was like yeah this is it and and now looking back because of the whole situation in switcheroo I'm like I should yeah I should have like taken a step back and been like right I'm not the only one here last to refresh my memory he kind of did basically what Jason did right yeah except yes yes um except for instead of being on the final rose he did it

while you guys run your honeymoon like happy couple yeah right um it's so funny because okay two things Yes. I did think I had it in the bag because Molly, if you're listening to this, don't take offense, but it's okay. I think she'll understand. Back then, it was Melissa and Molly. And they were both basically fresh out of college. They were both really young. I did not think they were ready to be moms. And Jason had Thai. And I was like a nanny. I was so ready to be a mom. I already had an established career. I was older than the girls. So I just felt like he would have taken me more seriously as like a mother. and as somebody who I thought I was more mature at that time but so I was like when he picked Melissa I was like what

she's a baby like she's just a baby she's just like I don't even didn't even like this sounds so bad I love Melissa we're friends now but I was like does she even have a job like does she even know how to change a diaper

like this is just so insane and then when we switched to Molly I was like oh my God my mind is blown but now that I see their relationship like Molly and I are really good friends and I find her to be one of the most consistent level-headed people I've ever met and also like such a great articulate communicator. I really feel like I can see how he would have felt so safe with her

because she's really careful about what she says and how she says it and she's very certain of herself. She's got that level of confidence. And so watching, like I actually just watched parts of his season back. And I'm like, oh, of course we picked, of course. Like, Of course, it makes sense. But back then, it didn't make sense to me because I didn't know the girls that well, right? I only knew myself and my relationship with him. But sorry, just another thing about Ed

is when Ed and I were on our happy couple, I always felt uneasy. I always felt like I never knew what was going on behind the scenes. I felt like he had a secret life. I felt like he was always hiding his phone. I didn't think he was being perfectly transparent. So my entire relationship with Ed, I always felt like he was hiding something.

And he was, like halfway through our relationship, I was finding he would go to, like, Lansing, Michigan for like a work trip and then he'd get back and find messages on his phone that said, like, come to the hot job, I'll show you my awesomeness. And, like, he was texting several girls. Sometimes he would come home at like four, five, six, three. Like, it was honestly broke my heart because I truly just wanted it to work out so bad. And it was just like the most got wrenching, heartbreaking thing ever. And I now look back to our happy couple weekend, I should have saw the summer.

minds, but I didn't want to fail again. Like, James done me, and then this happened to add, and I was like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. Like, yeah, I mean, and that's the thing. I think just for women to, like, trust your gut, if there's something off and you can't shake it, like, we're much more intuitive than I think sometimes we even realize. And so I get that. Oh, something you just said about, I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought now.

Oh, you were speaking of, you know, obviously watching. Jason, season of that replayed during the greatest of all time. Did you watch most of those, the goat episodes back? No, actually, that was the only episode I watched is the one that I've been in. I got a level with you guys. I mean, for moms out there who are watching The Bachelor still, I still cannot understand how you can like wake up at 5 in the morning, do your thing with the kids, work all day, come home, make dinner, clean,

have your glass of wine, put the kids to bed, and then sit and watch TV. Like, I fall asleep with Leo every night. like 8.30. And the next morning, I get up and I'm like, oh, man, I did it again. So I haven't been able to tune in to many Bachelor episodes because I just simply can't stay awake at night. Even like listening to podcasts and reading, like I'm like, where can I find the time to do this? But Clara's season, I'm especially excited about because she is older and I think more mature. So I think the biggest thing is this is if she did find love, um, to, make that as your main priority

and my main priority this sounds bad and if people are going to hate me for this comment but my main priority is that like make sure you make this work that's what I mean is really dive deep into that because the relationship is clearly unconventional so really

like Ed and I actually did go to like some therapy sessions I think because we were really struggling with our communication so really like dive deep into your heart like is this truly the one how do you know that are there signs are there red flags and if you're confident everything is coming up like a ding ding ding ding ding like this is awesome then you go for that and then from a career

standpoint where is there room is there any room or space to on top of that like how does your fiance or a partner feel about you now now that you've got the relationship how does that person feel that now that you could monetize or take this experience to your favor, career-wise, if you want to do that. Because a lot of people back in the day would say, just focus on the relationship. Don't get caught up and trying to be, like, rich and famous or whatever. But I do think that you can do both. If you love this person and he loves you and the foundation of your relationship is strong,

there should be still room to succeed. There should be no reason why your success and your business should destroy the relationship. So a lot of, right? A lot of people are like, oh, well, she wanted to go and dancing with the stars, but she should just be focusing on that she's engaged. Well, guess what?

She can do both. Why can't she do both? Well, and men have been taught to do both, so why can't women? It's just, yeah, you just need to know what your priorities are, especially coming from a TV show. Like, no, is it your relationship? Is it capitalizing on your success in your career?

Like, what is it and find that happy balance? So you speak of success because you are one of, like I've said, women that I know, you know, career rise. But you also have two beautiful children and this amazing fiance, which I want to talk about because we saw you just get reengaged. Yeah. So was that, was that plan? Tell us a little bit about that. So we have, we got engaged. So our whole relationship has been very unconventional. First of all, Justin is like 10 years younger than me. Um, I actually, when I met Justin had given up. I was like, okay, I'm starting to find my success as a human. I'm

starting to enjoy my alone time. I had guys in every area code and I was proud of it. Like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not ashamed of that time of my life at all because I was just confident in myself. I had a boyfriend in like Holland, one in Hollywood, one here. Did you say Holland? Holland, yeah. You had met in different countries. I love it. And I, I was confident in myself. I had really strong boundaries. My friends came first. My family came first, I came first, and I just was kind of doing my own thing, and I had kind of given up. And I honestly, honestly thought, okay, when I get to be, I was 32, when I get to be like 36, I'm going to do the artificial insemination, I'm going to have babies on my own. And whenever it

happens for me, a relationship, it happens for me. And I met Justin in the line at a bar, and I was like, oh, he is cute. I'm like, he's 10 years younger than me. I'm like this, I got black widow. I was like, this is my next victim. And we started chit-chatting and he was actually so I could tell that he was raised well. You know when you talk to somebody and they're just really raised well and they talk, you just know when you communicate with them that they've got a good heart. And normally what I would do was a nice guy like that as normally I would sabotage it before the first date.

I would be like, oh, he's too nice or he's like I was going for the bad guy because I knew if I went for the bad guy, I knew how to handle them, and I already set myself up for failure, and I just didn't want to get my heart broken again. And then, so I just, I was basically self-sabotaging myself the whole time in terms of a relationship, but that's all I knew. By the way, leading up to Ed,

most of the guys I dated were, like, not good guys, not honest guys. I did date a few good guys, but not a lot of them. So when I met Justin, then I found out he was like 23 and I was 32. And I was like, what am I going to do? Like, I won't have babies and you're not ready to have babies at 23. Like, this is a disaster. But we dated for a good four years and I was going to be, it's turning 36. And I said, like, I would talk about engagement a lot, but I think he just, we had a really

rough relationship, to be honest. I think because of our age difference. And also the difference in our career, like where we were in our own. I think he was, he came from a pro-in-boarding background, but then he quit. So he felt like he was always the famous one that had this crazy career. And then he quit that. And then he's with this girl and everybody's, oh, Jillian this, Jillian Matt. And he was sort of like, as a man, where do I stand?

Right. So we really struggled in our relationship. And I think that's why we never got engaged because I think we were both like, I don't know if we're, going to get through this. Yeah, yeah. And so one day I said to him, like, honestly, like, I know you haven't proposed yet, but do you think I'm the one that you're going to have babies with? And he was like, yes.

I'm like, because my clock is ticking, which means your clock is ticking. So we made a decision that. I'm sorry, my dog's barking. Keep going. Sorry. I'm going to make decision that when I turned 36, we start trying. But like a month before my 36th birthday, it happened. And we got pregnant.

And I think he as like a traditional. he's um his family's Catholic Catholic yeah and I think Justin was like shit I should have proposed first I'm like well you didn't like pregnant now there's no one back I think that always kind of bugged him like shit she's right I should have proposed first like it's okay like there's no right a wrong way to do this and so when Leo was about eight months was Christmas so no August I worked over November December five months old um just and proposed um and we just have been i've been i don't think he's terrified of having a wedding but he also is not going to plan a wedding i know he won't i am terrified i just i don't know i think

i'm just it seems like such a thing i've been waiting to do my whole life that i feel like no matter what it sounds so weird but i'm scared i'm going to disappoint myself like i'm scared i don't know well and you know like you are so creative so i'm sure the ideas that you had in your brain years ago have changed and you're also juggling like a thousand and fourteen different things right now so you know it'll come and i mean i'm sure me everyone included will want to follow along and see what your wedding looks like because it's going to be stunning like that's just it's going regardless like it's going to be but like our wedding was supposed to be last august and when coronavirus happened and we had to cancel i was like oh my god like there's all these

consensual. Yeah, there was all these brides that were so devastated. And I was like, thank God, I haven't gone to the gym. I had no idea of it was catering. We hadn't even sent out, save the dates. And it was like five months before our wedding. Like, I just couldn't pull it all together. But anyways, so how I got re-engaged was when I went to go try on wedding dresses in Vancouver, I went to go see our jeweler to pick out wedding bands. And they noticed I had a diamond missing. So they were like, leave us to your ring. And I left them my grandma's wedding band as well to get polished up and fixed up before the wedding. So they sent it back to us and it was when coronavirus first started and life was very chaotic at home. We didn't have

child care, but I was still working. We weren't bringing packages inside the house and it was a day where I think a lot of jilly box packages were coming in, a lot of like approval stuff. And so I had all these boxes on our front porch and I had gone to the FedEx guy a few times. And I, I think I was drinking rosé and had a couple glasses of wine so I just went and I had the kids and the kids were screaming the dogs were barking I was on phone calls and I'm going through these packages and our landscaper had stopped by and I know that I was anxious about her being in the yard with coronavirus I was like trying to keep the kids away from her and like should she be here and I kind of said to where I'm like you know what it's a weird week like let's just not do this for a while and she was about to leave and she said do you want me to take your recite you're recycling to the recycling depot. And I was like, yes, because Justin is a big germaphobe. So I knew Justin wasn't going to be

going to the recycling depot during the pandemic. And I wanted to get rid of all this cardboard. So I started taking a bunch of boxes and shoving them into boxes. And so the ring, from what I know now, was in a FedEx box. I know it wasn't stolen because it didn't even sell in it

that it was from a jeweler. It was the guy's name. And it was a small box. Like, why would somebody use to know? It was like, yeah. But it wasn't in a heavy ring box. It was just in like a smaller, like, paper box or cardboard box. And so it felt empty.

And I remember like now going back once I realize what happened, I missed my steps. So then 10 days later, I said to them, where's my ring? Like I still haven't received my ring. You guys said you were sending it two weeks ago. It should be here by now. And they were like, oh, yeah, you signed for it on such and such a date. And I'm like, I didn't receive. receive it and so we tore the house apart and then I went back into like just and I lie in bed I went

and looked in my calendar and I was like that was the day that all those packages came oh no I bet it was too late we had like we called all the recycling depots we went down there but they were like our stuff gets processed and then gets put on a boat and it's probably on his way to like Thailand or wherever and your grandma's ring was in it too yeah that just crushes my heart well I mean silver lining if anything under that story is you got another one another ring so we were devastated because that was the ring that was the ring and it's my grandma's ring and that's kind of why a lot of people didn't agree that i asked justin to repurpose they were like you'd lost the ring you should have reposed but justin is very traditional and he wanted this ring to feel just as special as the

last ring trying to cry he was like i don't want you to look at this ring as the replacement ring i want you to look at this ring as like another special moment and it doesn't take that much to repurpose and show somebody you love them like it can be something that is a heartbreaking thing but you can turn it back into a beautiful moment and if you really do love that person what's the harm and showing them all over again that you want them to marry you again i agree i agree and you just need the right words that's all you need is the right words maybe a second ring who knows but yeah well i love that story. I can't wait to be Justin because he sounds just like such a stand-up guy. But before, we have to let you go. I don't want, I don't want you to leave. I would just want to

keep picking your brain. But I just want to, because I feel like our listeners are just going to love you and they're going to want to see more of you. So where can we see? Where can they find you, your site, everything? So they can, you know, fall in love with you like what you have. Thank you, Becca. I appreciate that. And honestly, this has been so awesome. In fact, when I was sitting down, and I had to look at the clock, and I was like, oh, how come we're not drinking wine? I know. 10.30 is a little early for me. I probably would have done 1130.

So if we do a follow-up interview, let's do it in the afternoon so we can have some wine. Yes. If nothing else, I'm going to FaceTime you and we're going to do that. Yeah, any time. So thank you so much for allowing me to plug myself. Instagram, I think, is where my stories, I think, is where I'm most raw and real. And screwing up, left, right, and center. fact if you go on follow me on instagram right now hopefully it's not expired i should save it to my highlights

i don't know if you saw yesterday but i i tried to do a beautiful picture of me and a waterfall on this vacation and i was trying to like you know these instagramers in the waterfall and their hairs wet and they look so sexy anyways i got it i'm going to send it to you and you can maybe share it somehow on your guys's thing i did a side-by-side of how mine turned note and it's just so bad like i'm wearing a white bathing suit and you can like see my camel toe, my ariola, my face. I look so, I've got a double chin. It's just so nasty. And I did side by side with this other blogger that I follow,

like how to do it and how not to do it. So definitely. It's not still on there. I'm trying to find it. Oh, I miss. Please send it to me. I will. Yes.

So my Insta stories, I think, are where to follow me best. My website is jillianharris.com. And we do lots of recipes. collaborating with different influencers, different educators. We do a lot of charity work on the website. The jilly box is cool. It's kind of hard to get your hands on one, but you can follow over there

and just even take in all the small businesses that we're partnering with and whatnot. And the cookbook, you can get the cookbook. I love the cookbook. I love it. And it's beautiful. It has some amazing recipes in it. So, yes, I highly, highly recommend.

But, Gillian, it was so fun to have you. Thank you. I feel like this has been a good, part walked down memory lane part therapy session part business consulting like all of the things wrapped up into one so thank you for joining us on our happy hour we love you we have to have you back i would love to come back thank you for having me you guys i'm so excited that everybody else got to experience jillian because she's from a different bachelorette era but and we got to know her at the reunion and thereafter but people are understanding why she was the bachelorette why she

she's accomplished all that she has and why she's so freaking fantastic she truly is i want to say a jack of all trades she's doing it all she but like just her charisma and kindness like you can really hear that when you anytime i talk to her i just feel like i'm floating kind of because she's just so positive and she's crushing it so i mean also too i want to say if you guys don't follow her on instagram check her out because her page is beautiful like you can get her presets, like just, she's just doing it all. And to this day, Rachel, we're still in our bachelor group chat. We still are like, when can we go to Jillians and have like another bachelor at reunion without the cameras, just us girls on the lake in Canada. So that still

has to be planned because I think she lives in the middle of nowhere, she said. She's not like in a big city. You know what I love to, since you mentioned the bachelor at chats. What I also love is we'll be talking about something, you know, like gossiping. and Jillian's like, what? When did that happen? What did I miss? It's like, girl, you're taking over the world.

Like, right? Like you are literally Oprah slash Martha Stewart, all that. So it's like, we get it. We'll update you. But I love how she's like, where have I been? Oh, it never fails. Whatever the news is, that's her response. Yes, she's so funny.

But also I want to say, like maybe we'll have a good place to go November, depending on how things turn out. Listen, there's several trips floating around in the Bachelorette group chat to do. So one of these is going to stick for sure. You guys, we truly, truly hope you enjoyed that interview. And we're really going to love going down this journey with former Bacheloretts because we want you to get to know them the same way that we did. We also want you to see how they paved the way for us and are the reason that we became

the Bacheloret. And they set such a great example for us. And I also love that they're from a different air when it doesn't. It doesn't seem to be as influenced by social media. And I don't know, the stakes just seem to be just a little bit different. So anyways, we hope you guys enjoyed this as well. We're bringing you so much more on Baxter Happy Hour. And you know, you guys, you know the routine.

We love to hear from you. So please, please continue to communicate with us on social. Wherever you happen to frequent social on Instagram, you can find us at Bachel Happy Hour on Instagram, on Twitter, and Facebook. You can find us at Batch Happy Hour. Like, comment, DM us. We see you, we hear you. Again, we started off the show.

We topped off the show with burning questions that you guys sent us. We love to do this. We want to create this community. And we want it to be free-flowing and very open between Becca, myself, and our listeners. Also, don't forget to register to vote. Don't forget if you are out of state like me to request your absentee ballots early. The election is coming up so soon. We are less than 60 days here, folks.

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right now. Rock the vote! My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast,

so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up, isn't that against school?

policy, that seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, we're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier.

Ignoring is easier. denials is easier, complex problem solving, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone and there is help out there. The Good Stuff Podcast Season 2 takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. Save My Live twice. Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff.

Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.