Bachelor Happy Hour - Friendsgiving: Part 1

Episode Date: November 20, 2019

It’s the first-ever Bachelor Happy Hour Friendsgiving, hosted by Rachel and Bryan Abasolo! Also joining them in the studio — and at the Friendsgiving table — are Kendall Long, Joe Amabile, Katie Morton, Eric Bigger and Tayshia Adams.Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of The Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Everybody, cheers to friendsgiving. Hey, hello. What's up, everybody, and welcome to another episode of Bachelor Happy Hour. And you guys, you are in for a treat today. Because not only are you just listening to another episode, no, no, no, no.

this is the first ever bachelor happy hour Friendsgiving Now you hear some voices in the background but you don't know who that is yet So let me just start off by saying I couldn't do Friendsgiving by myself Because if this was Thanksgiving I wouldn't be doing it by myself

I would have my wonderful husband with me So he is in the studio today joining me He came all the way to L.A. to host Friendsgiving with me What's up everybody? Hi babe I am so excited that you're here with me first time in person on the Bachelor Happy Hour podcast and we aren't alone.

We have some of our dearest friends from Bachelor Nation joining us in the studio today. So everybody welcome. Eric, Katie, Tasia, Joe, and Kendall. Hey! Happy Hour! Friendsgiving. I'm so happy that you guys are here.

thankful in the spirit of Friendsgiving. I'm thankful that you guys are here. We're going to have a lot of fun today. We're going to keep it real, honest. Say things we're not supposed to say, which is what I love to do. But most of all, we're going to have fun. So let's just get right into it. Okay, we all know each other through this Bachelor Nation world.

But we were all on different seasons. I mean, Brian, Eric, we were on the same season together. You guys, Joe and Kendall, were on Paradise together. you guys were on Colton season Katie and Tasha together but so Brian and are the furthest removed from the show I guess I want to feel like what would you say are some of the biggest changes from the show between our time to you guys because you're the most recent on the show did you watch the show before I'm Ben was my first season I watched okay and then I watched Jojo's and then I kind of like oh you fell off during my

season is that what you say like that no no no I watched your season, but I just didn't watch it all the way through. I think it was more of, like, the friends that I was hanging out with at the time. My girlfriends in high school, especially, they had Bachelor Mondays. So they had, like, a big group of girlfriends. And then it kind of like, when people were going to college and moving around and all that stuff, everything kind of, like, changed. But, yeah, everything was super new for me. But the most, the thing that I learned about most, I would feel was finding myself.

I think, because, like I shared on the show, I went through a divorce. So I was just really finding who I was and just doing things for me for like the first time in my 20s. So it was really transformative in that aspect. Yeah, the show is such a crazy experience. You know, me personally, I'm glad it's over. How do you guys feel about that? Like, are you glad that the show is over and done with and you can kind of move on? Definitely.

I think so because when you're on the show, when you're on the show, you're looking for love and you're trying to find more about. yourself and who you are as a partner. And afterwards, I feel like I learned so much more about being in a relationship, not only with someone else, but also being my individual self in a relationship I learned a lot about. So I feel like I was excited to learn from the show and then go into like the real world with that knowledge. So, yeah. I feel like you, Kendall and Joe are together. Yes, we are married. Katie, you're engaged. Okay, Eric, are you currently single? I'm single I've been dating all year

Would you go back on the show? No You're done So we're all done with the show I mean unless I get the pick What if they made you the lead Would you do it? Yeah I would do it

Okay fair It's because I have options I know that's right I mean I just think it's better that way When you go through Paradise You go through the first season It's a lot

Eric Bigger 2020 Bachelor Campaign is started This is the first year honestly I really really was like man, I really, really want to do this. Really, but I'm going to be in a relationship and figure it out. But failed whole year.

Really? Is it really hard to date in LA? It's hard. It's hard. Because you don't know women's true intentions. What do they want from you? Are they dating you because of your status or your fame? I ask real questions.

So what is it about me? You didn't fail, though? No, not fail. I'm learning. Yeah. But you know what I've learned? It's not my time. It's not your time.

But I'm like, damn. I'm like, can I? Well, I was like, you know what? Let it happen. It's hard to date in L.A. I think there's a lot of different people, a lot of different temptations, a lot of shiny things. And being single in L.A., when I was living here as a single woman, it was very difficult to stay, like, focused on. There's so many distractions, yeah.

Especially with the apps nowadays. It's like, I feel like people treat it as a game. Right, right, like left. They're always trying to upgrade, quote, unquote. Well, you also don't feel the sense of, like, oh, I have to really work at this relationship. There's always the thought of, oh, if this doesn't work out, I can just go back on the app. Like, I know so many people who download the app, delete it, download it, delete it. And it's just, you know, it's like a savior if you feel like a relationship isn't working.

It's like a safety net. Exactly. You feel like you don't have to put as much energy into a relationship because there's always the next person. Is that why you went on the show? Just because, like, it's more controlled, you know, I guess. And maybe people, you would hope people are all coming in with the right intentions. I honestly didn't go on the show expecting to ever find anybody. I mean, I was definitely open to it.

I think the one thing you have to have is an openness to find somebody, but I went on it because I thought it would be a really transformative, amazing experience, and it was, and I did happen to find somebody. But neither of us expected to find each other, which I think was the best part about it. A hundred percent the best way. And Joe, I know why you came on the shack, if y'all didn't know already. Joe was approached in a grocery store of all places. And literally said, sure, I'll be The Bachelor.

And she's like, wait a minute. There are steps to this. You don't just get to immediately be The Bachelor. No, she didn't even tell me that. I actually called a friend. And they're like, no, that's not how it works. You need to go on the first one. But we all did say yes.

And we did it. Tasha and Katie, why did you originally decide to go on the show? So my girlfriend's actually nominated me to go on the show. And at that time, I really just. had nothing tying me down. It was the thing that I was just trying to find myself. And I felt like I was open to it, but I just didn't know what I wanted yet.

So I feel like this is just a way for me to grow. I felt like the show helps you find yourself. It does. And before I went on Colton season, I was reached out on Instagram by a casting. Really? On July 4th. And I was like, I wonder if she's drinking at a party.

Maybe she's confused. Like, I had no idea. I was like, I don't know what's happening. But then walked in. to casting it just kind of flowed from there but my friends definitely pushed me to do it I was really nervous as you should be you're going on TV to date yeah I was just feeling almost like who I'm going to feel violated or expose myself too much but you know what then we do it who did anybody do anything to prepare to go on the show so and I'll preface it by saying for me I had never

seen an episode before I went on it crazy enough had been to watch parties but I just went to socialize and drink. I never paid attention to who was actually on the screen. So before, as I was packing, like I'm literally packing to go to L.A., I watched Ben's season, and I got through like a couple of episodes, and I remember I called the girls who signed me up, and I was like, absolutely not. I cannot be in a house with these type of women. This is not for me. I hate this, but I'd already signed the contract, and so I was like, all right, at this point, I just have to go. I was pleasantly surprised. I love the people that I was on the season with. But I'm interested in how you guys prepared did you watch someone's season did you maybe work out you know i saw i met you

yeah can we talk about that i met you yeah so i signed up i probably what the end of january it was like you're on the show i don't know right before you got casted as the lead i didn't know she was going to be the batte but i'm in l.a she was in l.a at the time i'm getting out of my car and i'm walking into the gym and i look over and it's a girl like a red bandana on working out i'm like hold up that looks like rachel this can't be so So I called my boy, I'm like, bro, you're not going to believe this. I think she's at my gym. He's like, no, he, you have to say something.

I was like, this can't be real. It was like the week of my birthday as well. It was crazy right before I saw it the week later. But anyway, so I go out, I go in, I come back. I was like, that's her. What the heck is it going on? What is the universe trying to tell me? So she can't admit it.

I said, I was speaking to her as I knew. I was like, Rachel, I see you working hard. She's like, I'm trying. I give her a file. I was like, I see you soon. She's like, I got scared. She's like, I don't know you. I was like, she was like, huh?

And I looked like, I was like, I was like, you see him. She's like, got it. But I never told anybody because I was scared. You know, like when you're new to, I had already gone through The Bachelor, but as The Bachelorette, it's like, do I tell a producer that this guy, I met this guy, I didn't want you to get kicked off the season. So I just was like, I don't know, so I kept it as a secret. So then when you eventually told a producer, they said, why didn't you say that you met Eric before? And I was like, I was just trying to, like, not mess anything up or, yeah, no, that was crazy. So, yeah, you were at the gym working out before.

And then I saw you on AFR that Monday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what is this? Yeah, because at the time, you didn't know you were going to come on the show. Yeah. So my season was the first season where they started bringing people out at AFR. So you got to meet some of your guys before you actually met them coming out of the limo that night. Which was crazy.

And I truly was surprised. A lot of people were like, did you know? And I said, no. They said, we have to take your phone away early. I was livid and they said we just don't want you to know what's about to happen something's going to happen and so that's what ended up happening and I got to meet the guys

before. And now there's the start up, it's a miracle season. What about you guys? Did you do anything to prepare for the show? Joe and Kendall? I got a haircut. Tell the story, Joe. Tell the story. All right, okay, okay. Well, funny enough, I actually watched the first night of like multiple seasons to prepare myself.

So you, which is like, no wonder you went home the first. I freaked myself out with that. And then this, I actually went. So I'm like, okay, I got to get a nice suit. So I went to Gucci and bought a suit. And then I thought it was Tom Ford. I'm not finished.

So now we're trying on it. It's like we have like four days to go and it like just doesn't fit right. And my friend's like, turn around. And I'm at his house. He's like, it's really tight on your ass. And it's like riding up your ass. And now I'm like, what am I going to do? Because I can't look like pee.

Herman on this show and so I'm like oh so I'm like I mean I only go on TV once fuck it we go to Tom Ford and buy another suit so I bought I spent like so much money on suits and like nice ones and then I went home the first night so it paid off do you still have those suits I have the Tom Ford and the Gucci one they took it back and they gave me the credit and then I bought another suit and tried to wear it to the Men tell all, and they wouldn't let me wear it on TV. That's bad luck with suits and... Tell him about the hair.

I remember there was like one dude that he got like a whole new wardrobe, like six suits. He was crying. Yeah, he got to send home the first night. And his suit was terrible that night. I remember. Yeah. What was his name? His name was Milton.

Milton. Yeah, let's talk about first night. This is a big one for you, Joe. You can really participate in this conversation. That was a worst night, you know, of my life. I don't remember. like other than Eric and Brian because you were on my season,

I don't remember everybody's limo exit. Oh, mine's not good. So, oh, great, good. This makes for good content. I want to know, let's go around the table and say what your limo entrance was. Okay, so mine, I was prepping, and the producers, like, you know,

just don't talk until you reach her. I'm like, okay, and as soon as I've opened the doors, I'm like, how you doing? Like, Mr. Italian comes out. Then I walk up to where I talk to her for like two minutes and I'm not making any sense and I know I'm not making any sense and I could just feel myself get like pale and I'm like this is this is just horrible so finally I'm like I forgot everything I was going to say and she's like after talking for two minutes

she's like what and I'm like nice to meet you I'm Joe and I walk in and I say what the fuck and they actually erred it which I couldn't believe and and that was it then I walked in and I kind of was like all right and I stood there and got a beer and I tried talking to people, but I just couldn't really groove with anyone. Yeah, first night's tough. And then you got to Becca and you said, what's your biggest pet? Then I got to Becca. I had the second conversation with Becca and I said, what's your pet peeves?

And I couldn't believe I asked that question. And I didn't even have an answer for myself. She looked at me like I was crazy. And next thing I knew, she was gone and I was standing there by myself. And I thought, I cannot believe I agreed to come on this show. what is wrong with me this is so embarrassing

and then I went home I would have thought that Joe would have been cute the first night because that nervousness he's kind of like that on Paradise the first day too but I would say

that you were a little more suave on the first day of Paradise because he went in for the kiss so the first day first day well Brian that's not a lot of that be smooth

right after I said oh I'm so glad that no one's trying to kiss me or not kiss me I was like no one's trying to like make claims everyone's kind of feeling it out and he's like well that's what I'm trying to do right now and then he kisses me oh whoa hey Joe but paradise paradise was different because paradise you could chill for you're chilling and talking to everyone for like eight hours you know and then you go in for the kiss you do feel there's like that tension in the baths for bachelette where yeah you had to make a move quickly before anybody else did correct

No. Kennel, how did you come out of the limo? Oh, it was awful. No, I did not have a dead animal. I waited, I think, maybe to the next day to bring a dead animal. She got a taxidermy. I brought the first piece of tax ceremony I brought was a pickled bat. And so then Ari was a pickled bat.

Amazing. And then Ari named her Victoria. Wow. Did we see that? Yeah. Okay. Because I was going to say, I like, that's what I hope that at Friendsgiving, we tell some behind the scenes things that people don't get some of it.

We have so many dead animals in our house. Okay. Well, I like to say. See them as the art of nature. You know, the art of nature preserved. We have many specimens. I love it. Perfect for Halloween, by the way.

No, yeah, it's perfect. And Joe actually contributed to the collection. He got me a badger that we've named Beaver. Because I thought it was a beaver. Well, we got this taxiderm shop in Texas, and I really wanted this badger because I've always wanted a badger in my collection. And Joe is like, how much for the beaver? And the taxidermis and I were like, he-he-he-he-he. It's actually a badger.

I'm like, whatever. So it's the badger named Beaver. But yeah, so for the first night, I was extremely nervous. I was also very paranoid. Because you don't know going into it. I'm thinking, I used to work behind the scenes in television, and I was thinking, where's the actors and all this stuff? And I was fully on guard preparing for people to mess with me.

But it wasn't like that. Like there was no actors. It was very much, so much more real than I expected it to be. And I think after I got an idea of, oh, this is real. all these people are here and they're real people they're not you know they're not like a script or anything that's when I let my guard down but it wasn't until like the first week until I was actually like realizing that was the case yeah but what'd you say out of the limo didn't you sing a song oh no I sang I sang Ari a song that I had written for him the second time we met oh okay

oh well like the second talk of the night I'm like I don't remember that did they show that They did. I was, well, I was so nervous that I sang. I mean, my voice wasn't that great. My voice isn't great in general. But, yeah, so I, like, had the ukulele underneath the bench. So we're sitting on the bench and I was like, I got something for you, whipped out the ukulele. And I was like, woo. And, yeah, it was just, I think. That's a bold move. You know, it was. You didn't know how that was going to go. No, and I wrote the song the night before, the day before. Did anybody wear a costume? I think that's all... No one wore a costume in the first night of last night. Munchin had what? The chicken on him? The penguin. He got a skin rash.

Oh, what? Yeah, he was on the sidelines for a minute. The first night he was sitting on the side, like, miserable. A nice chill staff infection. Oh, no. We had a chicken on ours, too. Chicken? Yeah, Dave was a chicken.

Oh, yeah. We had this law. We had this law. Oh, yeah, at this whole cycle. Yep. We ran into him. No, I see, I think when people wear a costume, it's really daring. And so it's like, you know, I got to give you an A,

forever. And then with Matt breaking out in a full body rash, I couldn't send him home too. You and your rash get out of here. Okay, Tachia, how did you come out of? Well, Eric, I know I'll let you give a chance to say how you got to. Well, it was really simple and quick. I was nervous. Purvis. It was frightening. I was in a limo with Dean and DeMario and I wasn't drinking. I was so nervous. I got to Rachel. I don't know what I said. I think I said, why do I keep seeing you? Yeah. And I think that was it. But we had already met because of, well, the gym and then AFR, so it was like three times. Three times.

Three times. My number. So, but it was cool, but nervous. I was the same way. I didn't have anything prepared coming out of limo. I just, like, walked out, and I remember looking at him, and I was like, what the heck am I doing here? And I completely blocked out.

And I was like, hi, I'm nervous. I know nothing about you. But you have a big heart, so do I? And then I walked in. But then I had Tasha Land inside, so that was fun. Yeah, that's cute. I was like, what do I do? So I just started coming up with lots of ideas and spin things out.

All of a sudden, I was like, what if I do a magic trick? I don't know magic, but I'm going to try and do one. And she was like, what are you going to do? I'm like, I don't know. So I'm just like, give me ideas. And she's like, what if you do something? Because he's a virgin. And I'm like, shoot, I don't want to do this.

I don't want to do this. Did you do a virgin job? I did. I said, pick a card, any card. He grabs a card. And I'm like, hold on. Like, just imagine what card that is. Like, put it into the universe.

I grab the card, I shuffled them up. I'm like, now pick this card. And he's like, okay, I'm like, now pick a card again. I grab it. And I'm like, I look at it. I'm like, I think I know what your card is. I'm like, I don't know what it was, but I think I just took your V card. Because I go, can I take that?

I do. I was like, oh, I'm so lame. I'm not a nervous person, but I was nervous that night. Because I don't think what people get is you roll up to them. It happens so fast. You roll up to the mansion and then like, whoever the lead is, It's just standing there and it's eerily quiet. And you think you're going to see all these cameras and they're kind of farther away than you think.

And the ground is wet and you're like, oh, wait, my dress, you know, you guys don't have to worry about that. And it's just so scary and you're like, this is it. There's no turning. I remember thinking there's no turning back. This is it. Here you go. It's terrifying. I walked into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror and thought, there's no going back.

Like, I can't back out of this. Like, there's nothing I can do. let me go back out there make your way back out all right tonight's two if you have to give advice to someone who I mean we know Peter is filming his season

and so they've already done their first night so I think that's the best night when you get to meet the people for the first time see the hometown packages and then also see what crazy things they do the first night

if you're going to give advice to someone for this next season whoever the bachelorette's going to be and who's coming out what would you tell them to do. Should they go all out? Should they make a scene? Should they have a prop? Should they just say a speech? I mean, I always followed the, I followed the kiss principles. Keep it simple, stupid. I came out. It was just myself, smiled. Talked a little in Spanish. I actually got great

advice going on the show. A good buddy of mine, Eric, you know him. Just literally focused on the lead no matter what. I mean, I had seen the show before, so I knew that she was going to have relationships and connections with other guys. So I mentally prepared myself for that. But then also, don't start any drama and don't talk behind anybody's back. Just follow those three pieces of advice, and that kind of helped me out a lot. Yeah. I mean, you want to showcase your personality in some way. Yeah. And I feel like taking a big breath before you get out, I was the first one out of my limo. And so I think when I walked away, Ari said, oh, she was really nervous, you know. So it's just, I think maybe putting it in perspective of, you know, it's not just you

meeting them. They're also meeting you, you know. And so having that perspective of it's not all about them, although they are the lead. It's also about you, like, them meeting you and your personality. So I would say that's what I would be by saying. I mean, you were nervous. I imagine. I guess I wasn't nervous because I thought they are here for me. This is so empowering that, and then you can, I could hear them saying, Rachel, in the car, and I was like, that's me, you know, they're here to see me. And I was so excited for who was going to come out and what they were going to do. And all these new people that were coming into my life.

And I just, like, couldn't wait to meet everybody, you know, whether you were going home the first night or not. I was just so excited. And one thing for me, I kept saying, never forget what it feels like to be in their shoes. So anytime I was talking to someone, I tried to give them my full attention because I was like, I know what it's like to have just five, ten minutes with them, and they've been waiting all day, or you've been waiting all day to talk to that person. But what was your least favorite part of filming? I'll tell you mine, it's girl chats.

Straight up, girl chat. Do you want to go have a girl chat? No, I don't. I hate them. And so for those of you who don't know, girl chats are, or those of you listening, Girl chats are when, you know, everyone else, not everyone, but people are off on a date, whether it be a one-on-one, a group date, you're sitting around the house with absolutely nothing to do, but tan, read, pretend to work out, drink, and, like, there are a cook, if you're

one of the, I was definitely not the one cooking in the house. Yeah, there's always one. There's no chef in the Bachelor Mansion. People don't know, forget that. But girl chats or guy chats are when they say, hey, do you want to go talk about it? And usually you're talking about your feelings or the other girls that are on the date and what that feels like to be at home. But I despised them.

I would always try to like sleep or, I don't know, run away. I actually have a different perspective. I mean, I don't know about you, Eric, but I've never talked about my feelings more in my life with another dude than I did on that show for sure. And you liked it. I thought it was, I thought it helped me be a better person. I mean, it was funny because when I got home, I remember talking to my other guy friends. that weren't on the show, obviously, and just started, hey, man, how you feeling?

And they're like, what's wrong with you? I will agree. I will agree that being on the show almost makes you, like, express your feelings so much more. You talk more about your feelings. Like, right off the bat, I was, like, crying in front of people, talking about how I was feeling in front of people. It was, I think it was really incredible, very transformative. Like, I feel it helps you be better in relationships.

And also you gain more apathy for other people as well, because you see everyone going through the same experience that you went through and you have an understanding of their perspective. I think that's what I got from it. You can relate. See, I hate it that. I swear I hate it. I'd like talking to the producer. Once I got

comfortable with my producer, I enjoyed that, but like you said, girl chats, guy chats. Like, I don't even think I did any of them. Like, even in Paradise, I don't think I was part of any of them because I just wouldn't talk. I would just sit there and be like, eh, you're full of shit. You know? And that's kind of how I felt, which is

wrong. You know, it isn't the right way to be, but I was really in my head. Yeah, I was really in my head, too. For girl chats, I felt like when a question would come up, I felt that I was, it felt like acting in a weird way. I was thinking, this isn't how I talk. This isn't how I would approach the conversation, but I'm going to try and give you my input. And it just felt very abnormal to me. And so I try to stay away from girl chats as well. What was, I like, I mean, I like manchats, only because it allowed me. Yeah, man chats. It sounds so weird, right?

Because I think for me, it allowed me to listen and understand a person's perspective, how they was raised, what they believe in, their motto of the world. I mean, it was a moment we were in, I think, Copenhagen. Okay. And you was like, man, E, I feel like you got some momentum because you and Rachel had something going on earlier

that wasn't so great, and we kind of smooth all the way through and, like, just having that back and forth and that trust amongst one another. It makes you feel like, you know, and you feel okay. But then there was moments where the Lee and the bright situation

when I'm being vulnerable and I'm telling it and they're using my truth against me and I'm like, who does that? Yeah, and that's the other thing. You've got to be careful because you don't know the other person's intentions like you said.

They might use that information against you. Yeah. But you are when you're just on such a high. Yeah, you're in. And you really are grateful and someone told me as I not someone, Ali, told me when I was going into this

season to be the Bachelorette, she said take it advantage of every moment. It goes by so fast. It's a lot and you're going to be exhausted, but truly appreciate every single day. And so as tired as I was, I would always say, okay, let me just be grateful and thankful that I'm here and I have this opportunity and I'm in Norway of all places. And now I'm, you know, it's just like you have to pinch yourself. Oh, 100%. And to see if it's real. I always joke that I swear I'm going to pinch myself, wake up one day and all of you will just be a figment of my imagination.

Like, I'll walk past you in the grocery store. I'm like, she looks familiar. Where did I know her from? Oh, you know? Isn't that how you felt when you got home, though, like from after filming? I felt like, was I just in a dream? Alternate reality. Because, like, you come home and like everything's exactly the same, like when you left.

Like your parents are doing the same exact thing. Everything's the same. And I'm like, I just went to like five countries. Like, I don't know what just happened. You were in a dream for a little bit. And then you come back and you can't really talk about it. And you're just like, what just happened to me? Yeah.

But you are in another world. It is a completely different world. It stops when you're in that bubble because you don't have your phone, TV. You're completely disconnected from everything. Your world is The Bachelor. You know, it's like if there was a Chris Harrison would be like, the God. Yeah. And, you know, the producers are your parents.

And these are your only friends. There's one man or one woman in this world. Truly, that's how it is. So bizarre. We were talking about this before, that transition of when the show is over, and you're done and you come back into the real world

did you you guys find it difficult yes of course like let's talk about that I don't want to go out in public I have social anxiety yeah my social anxiety

was at an all time high I felt that everything I did I was facing people I was faced with questions and it was almost the same question and I felt that I had to show up and not be robotic but deliver with the same

enthusiasm as when I first came back and you know said things to my parents or whatever And even some things that were a little bit more, I felt more negatively about. I felt that I couldn't share or express those feelings with just general fans. So it was a weird, it was weird to try and get out of my house because I felt like I don't even want to go to the grocery store because I don't want people to talk to me. Even though I'm grateful and appreciative of these people supporting me, I feel that I'm constantly explaining myself and it was making me feel it was, I was disconnecting from the actual emotional part of it because it felt like a speech at one point. I felt like I was just like spitting out answers and not giving people full me.

Yeah. You go through a lot of evolution and growth while you're on the show, and so you're almost coming back to the same world as a different person. So I felt like everything else was the same, but I had changed so much and everyone that I was used to knowing everything about me since I was a kid wasn't a part of that. And I was also for the first time able to make decisions and go through the mental processes without having the people.

people that usually give their input in my life. My family's very involved in my life. My friends are very involved, especially when it comes to dating. And they were not, I think, I had strangers, basically, helping me through something that was supposed to be, like, finding the love of my life. So I just felt like I had a new, a whole new, like, empowerment for what it meant to be myself going through a relationship,

as opposed to me and, like, my posse, you know? Yeah, yeah, totally. Once I got off, I was like, I knew people knew who I was. this is going to be awesome I can't wait and like my friends and I we all went to a bar

and everyone knew me I was like you can tell by the way I love this yeah it was great I was super excited for it I can see Joe walking down the street the first time

I literally I walked down that grocery store Joe yeah totally Michigan Avenue in Chicago I was walking down the street and girls were all like

oh my god that sounds like oh my god my life is amazing so what is the first thing you did when you came back from filming obviously you went walking down Michigan after who's strolling take full advantage

of this bathe in the fan I remember getting really sick like I feel like I poured all my emotions I called you remember I FaceTime you like early on I was bedridden like I think I just poured out so much emotion and I didn't get sick throughout the show and then literally when I got home better than for like four days with the flu.

Well, because you're go, go, go. Yeah, like so much adrenaline. Your body catches up with you. People don't understand either. Like, we sacrifice so much. Yeah. Our life, our time, our energy. And I don't think you know, Brown.

I'm Rachel. When we were filming in Spain, I stayed an extra 10 days. Oh, I didn't want me to fly home. Oh, the same thing. Yeah. So, getting home and I'm looking at the world. I'm like, this is weird.

Like, I'm training people again. Like, I can't do this. And I was on edge. I was chippy. Like, I didn't have patience for anything. If you did anything I didn't like, I will let you know. Yeah, and we were so used to letting people know.

Yeah, because you're so, like, in this energy and this vibration of how you feeling, what's going on? People are invading your space, and I don't want to talk about that. And you get home when someone does something like, no, stop that. I feel like I had the Joe effect. I went out and partied. I got home and I went straight to the club. I was like, my friend, I'm back.

I'm the coolest person here right now. This is so awesome. after paradise you joe you went to uh like what was it it was uh oh no sorry bachelorette it was uh st patrick's day well that wasn't as good because that i was like oh fall fall i can't believe i kicked off that show the first night paradise was hard for me because i was like trying to hold back crying the entire time on the plane the entire time on the uber i i couldn't tell people i had gotten home until i actually landed back in um california and so i was trying to cry the entire time I called my mom, and she's like, how was it? What happened?

I was like, I can't talk about it right now. And so as soon as I got home, my roommate came running out to me, and I burst into tears. And I swear, I don't think I stopped crying for like three days until Joe got down on those DMs. And then I was fine. But I just remember the first thing I did is I got all my girlfriends together. We had wine. I went up in my attic that I kind of turned into a little hangout room. And I just went up there and told everyone what had happened and was crying and drinking wine.

So, well, that's good. She surrounded yourself with, like, yeah, yeah. What is the most, you know, what's the question that everyone asks you when you come off the show? Like, what's the most prominent or consistent question? Is it real? Yeah, is it real? Is it produced? Is it scripted?

Do you still all the grocery store? Are you, did you really fall in love? When are you to get married? Where's Rachel? Yeah, how are you? How are you doing? How are you doing? Yes.

They want to know everything. Yeah, we don't get that. Yeah. No. Did anybody keep anything from the show? Oh, my gosh. I have a hold off. What? Okay, we're starting with you.

I definitely do. I feel like the girls do it more, but go ahead, Tasha. I have all my roses. I have all my journals. All your roses, they didn't. I know. How did they not run? Because it's like a, it's like a big deal, you guys, you know?

Do you have like this little box and like nobody will ever like, what? I just love it. It is a big group. I would like come out and like I'd show my friend a little something. And they'd like, no way. Where's your rose from tonight? I had like a shirt from like skydiving, I have that. Oh, that's awesome.

I have my Vietnam suit. Oh, yeah. Our fighting suits. Oh, that's so cool. I have like a random towel from one of my dates. It's just like I have a lot of things. How did you preserve the roses? I tried that for like the first couple weeks and they all started to stink in my bag.

I was like, forget this. I would like hang them upside down. Okay. And then like I was smashing in my book. Of course, we know how to do it. I just put them in like a Ziploc. So did I, and they all molded and died. So, Kendall, you kept roses too?

I kept the rose that Joe gave me from Paradise. I still have that rose. Those roses. And all of them from The Bachelor, they all molded. Because you had to travel and I put them a little zip lock bag as well. And the moisture, of course. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

I was always so like nervous or giddy afterwards. I would always pluck all my roses. Just till it was just a stem. Every single rose. You even see me, when I get engaged, I'm doing the little we filmed a little thing afterwards and my roses just like nothing there's nothing on her it was just a stem I was just like waving around a stem because like your nervous habit that's my nervous habit I'm just plucking the whole rose like he loves me loves me out up you got it I um I saved roses

too on when I was on next season and I saved date cards I don't know there was something about getting the date card and like keeping it and then when especially when you separate and you go to hometowns it's like I would read the date cards again like you try to see if there's like a deeper meaning in it. Oh my gosh, you did that. Yeah, you do. I'm such a weirdo. Oh, you're not because we're both just weird. Yeah. I would do it too. I mean, that's your world. And so it's like you're holding on to all of that. I, but don't worry. I mean, once I was a bachelor's, I threw everything away. I had a funny experience. So probably a year ago, around this time, I wanted to go take my pea coat to the cleaners, right? And that was the

pea coat I was wearing in Spain. So I'm like, what is this in my pocket? So open up. It's the fantasy sweet card with the key. What the key? What the heck? What's going on, universe? So it was just a funniest sprint, but it brought back those memories, the time we spent the spending the smell. It was just beautiful, but I'm like, damn, I wasn't trying to hold on to it,

but I guess it was holding on to me. You used that I was going to hate it. Oh, my gosh. Present someone with that card, please. I got to find out if I kept it in my box, but it was funny. All right, let's get juicy. All shuck. Anybody have something to share?

some tea to spill or champagne, since that's what we're drinking in the room, some champagne to spill about things that happen maybe behind the scenes, maybe a funny moment that we don't know about. Well, before we can start, can we just do a toast because this is Friendsgiving. We did talk about gratitude, and I think, I appreciate everyone at this table. Our lives has changed and, you know, some of us in love. Cheers. Cheers.

Happy Friendsgiving. Okay, now. That was cute. Thanks, Eric. Who's got the tea? Let's get right. Don't try to change the subject. Eric's like,

no, anything behind the scenes, like there has to be something. We had babies in our one-on-one. It was like the worst date ever. The baby's sad. I was cute, though. I feel like I liked seeing you with a baby. Yeah.

Yeah, it was really cute. After that, you cried. You broke down. You're like, oh, I don't know if I could be with this guy. That's another thing. Before we went to get a drink after handling the babies, we literally had two hours of sleep. It's that.

And then I had to like take care of a child. who was crying the entire time. I was really hot and I felt really bad. And emotionally, of course, you're going through everything. And so, yeah, right before we went, I, like, broke down. And I was like, oh, can I get ready before we go get drinks, like on the beach? And I was just like, I just want to feel pretty. It's my most diva moment I think of the entire thing.

I cry, when you said I wanted to feel pretty, that makes me think of the proposal day because the win was insane. And when I tell you, I looked so pretty before, like my hair was together, it was in this messy bun, and then we step out there, and it's just, and they had moved the date up because the weather was supposed to be so bad the real day, and it was still awful. And my hair was flying over, and you could see my weave, and I was mortified, and I'm literally in tears, and then Brian starts walking up, and I was like, get out of here, get out of here. It was mortified. I used to always, with Brian, try to give him my room number. number. And so like I would like if my room number was like one, two, three, I'd be like, like that was during my date. What was so funny is that my producer. I'm putting fingers on the table, yes. So you gave me your room in her multiple times. And I was like, I never got a

chance to go up there because my producer's like, no, you can't do that. And I was very by the rules, by the book. So I was like, unless they give me the go ahead. He's the rule follower. But I was so upset. I was like, if any, if I see you on the show when it airs, anybody else go up to a room. Because I had multiple chances. But they said, they, they said that you could, but there would have to be a camera. Oh. Also, what would happen. You weren't about having a camera in the room when you were. Yeah, I was like, no, no, no, it's about sneaking into the room. Yes. And then after after one of those, this makes me think of something else. And I wonder if this happened to anyone, uh, during your time of filming. When we were in Norway, ours, the whole,

everything was haunted. Did you guys deal with that? I had a spirit in my room In Denver In Oslo. Did you feel something? No, it was odd but it was okay. Apparently that was a haunted hotel. They told me later. But Tasha, I want to hear

your story after this, but my TV so I had a two-story room and my TV, look, I see this skeptic go looking at me in the corner. They're not sure of your explanation. Joe, I'm not kidding. My TV turned on by itself upstairs and I was so exhausted that I just put the covers over my head

and I was like whatever I'm too tired to care about it and it was like at 2 in the morning or something In your hotel? In my hotel Well that's probably because like all the TVs are connected And I would say maybe like the room above you Might have changed the channel There was no room above me, the roof was above me okay?

Okay, but about the room below I had the room below So you had all the rooms I had a two story It was a two story So anyways Universal Remote Maybe two so then the next day I'm talking to audio

and the cameraman and they're telling me all these stories about past seasons of having haunted hotels and seeing things and weird things that have happened and we're doing it in the room

and I was like yeah that was like two nights ago and then they all left and then that next night the same time of night the TV turned on again by itself I grabbed everything that I could ran across the hall

that was plan B and ran across the hall to a producer's room banged on the door and I was like let me sleep in here I'm not doing it again I was I had a haunted room

but go ahead so scary okay well we stayed at a haunted house in Denver I wasn't there I was somewhere on a plane in Vietnam sorry

so we stayed an hotel in Denver that was haunted and Kurpa and I were staying in this room it was like it's very old it's like an old library and I just remember it was at night

and I'm like a light sleeper kind of and I heard this noise and it was like like you know like a nail scratching like on like a linen I was like oh oh oh okay and I like close my eyes again and I heard again like 10 minutes later and I was like as soon as I heard that I was like Kerpa and I hit her I'm like Kerpa and she was like yeah I'm like Kerpa did you hear that she's like no what's wrong and like Kerpa and then she turns over she's like Tisha I'm like what I'm like, why are you saying my name like that?

She'd turn on the light. I'm like, Tisha, turn on the light. And I'm like, Kipa, stop playing with me right now. I turn on the light and the curtain was, like it looked like a body was behind the curtain. Oh, I was dead! And we're staring at it. We're straight up staring at it. There's like a hump in the curtain and we're like.

What? And then we start like hitting each other. Like, what do we do? And I'm like, no, it has to be like the air conditioning vent. Like it has to be something. So then I don't know what I did, but I literally took my comforter and I lifted it up So I'm like, I'm going to go, like, I don't know what I thought I was going to do. I lift the comforter, and it literally left.

It flattened out. And I was like, oh, hell no. And you guys, it was 3 o'clock in the morning. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. And so we ran out. I literally went to the bathroom. We literally were like screaming. What do we do?

What do we do? And then I prayed. And I was like, okay, let's go back into the room. We went back into the room. And then in the morning we looked and there was an air conditioning vent, like right in the spot, right? And I was like, see, it was the air conditioning. It was nothing. So then I went to like the hostess lady.

I was like, so like, um, it's like the air conditioning on like at night or like the heater I mean because it was like cold. She's like, oh, no, we haven't turned it on for the winter yet. I'm like, so like there's like no air coming on that thing. She's like no. I'm like, okay, cool. We had a spirit. No air is coming out. It's just spirits.

I would die. It was, you guys, I'm not kidding you. The second I lifted my comforter as if I was getting out of the bed, it flattened out and it was gone. I believe. you. I remember when during Nick's season, we were in Wisconsin, and Sarah and

Raven were in a room, and they said they both saw the same lady in the room, and I was across the hall from them, and I was like, but like, how close was she to my room? That's what I need to know. But am I safe? They said they

described her to, it was something weird like that, like a lady or whatever, and when they told us, we were all in their having snacks for some reason and I was like uh-uh because I was like this thing can't attach to me I uh-huh attach do you have a Joe do you have a spirit story to tell Joe's the biggest skeptic he doesn't believe any of this right now no I don't you don't believe me Joe you don't believe my spirit story I believe that's what you I believe you believe it I do believe that like I believe you saw like I just think you know I just don't

believe in ghosts. I just don't. Do you, Kendall? I used to have sleep paralysis. I still kind of have it. I get that too. In that sense, I don't know if it's either a ghost or maybe my brain. I think your reality can be greatly skewed by a number of factors. Like, our brains are, our brains construct reality we see. And you can see by some people, if they're colorblind or some people who have different views of reality. Like, your mind is in control of that. Well, that's what, like, drugs do, you know, they change real. Yeah. I mean, I always feel like there has to be some scientific explanation to like why you see certain things, why you experience certain things. Like sleep paralysis for me was something in my mind that, you know, got me stuck in the middle

of REM sleep or it was anxiety or it was something like that. So I mean, because if I, if I didn't allow myself to see a scientific explanation, I would probably like I was possessed by a demon, which I don't want. So at that point on the show, even if it is a spirit, you are so sleep-deprived by that point that it could be a number of things and your mind will go anywhere. It was a spirit of sleep. Tasha, I'm telling you right now.

I'm there with you because that TV, I did not imagine that. That TV was on, and it turned on twice by itself. And what I also didn't tell you was the first night that it changed on, it was changing channels. Oh. And I did not, like, like,

yeah, like, it's not that I could hear, I could tell, that the programs were different. Like I could hear it changing, but I was so exhausted. I just thought, well, if it's going to come get me, it's going to come get me because I'm too tired at this point to deal with it. But this is a perfect segue into mental health. Because this show can drive you crazy. And I still stand by, Tasha, I believe you saw a spirit. I believe there was one in my room. But that is not Dutar, or sanity and any kind of way. But what is the best way that you guys? Because we talk about it. We talk about

the, Kendall, you said the anxiety. And Katie, you said sleep deprived. And you're, you know, you're exhausted and you're going through so many emotions in a way that you haven't before. And it's also accelerated. So each of you, and anybody can take this first, what's the best way to deal with your mental health? But what were some ways that you were able to cope with, you know, being in this world? I journaled a lot on my season. And I think because it was very hard to meditate because if you ever were caught just sitting doing nothing, I felt that people needed you for some reason or you needed to go do a girl chat or whatever it was. So I was like, I can't be caught doing nothing, even if it's meditating, they won't see it as

that. So I would journal and that journaling would kind of, you know, it was a puzzle to my mind and how my mind was working or why I was thinking certain ways. So that helped me the most, I would say. It helped me grow while I was there because there were things I felt I couldn't talk to the girls about and that were only for me and journaling was like my number one go-to. There's a sense of paranoia when you're on the show I feel like feeling like of course you're your friends and you trust people to a certain extent but in reality you've only known them for how long you know so I felt like there's a lot of things I did keep to myself and in paradise I would write a journal but I think after the show when it wasn't being filmed

and you weren't as vulnerable in that sense I did find security with other people who went through same experience, which is why I feel like after the show, you do more so feel like you connect with people that were on your season. So in the group chats, or you can meet up with people who live near you, you can just talk about what happened. In Paradise, for me, I felt like I'm like, this is like a vacation. So like, I mean, I really was. I was like, you know, I, like I weren't, you know, in the real world, I worked a lot of hours. And then when I was there, I'm like, Oh, this is, they take my cell phone. I deal with no bullshit and I'm just chilling on a beach.

Everything's free, you know. Joe's living the best. Like, I'm like, this is great. But, you know, if I did, like, panic a little bit, I pace. I pace a lot. So in Paradise, I was always pacing. Like, always pacing because I was always thinking, like, how could I become the next bachelor?

How could I become the next bachelor? No, I was always pacing, though, because that just helps me, you know, my mind. Also, Joe plays with things. like in his hands always is kind of messing with something. So during the entirety of this podcast, Joe has been playing with a little miniature pumpkin. I did notice that. I thought you were like squeezing.

I thought it was nervous energy or something like that. Well, it kind of is. It's just like it calms me. I don't know, it just works for me to fidget with things. Yeah. I feel like working out would be a good stress relief, but the damn mansion still to this day has no gym. Am I right?

Terrible. So people are just like making up exercises and... and you weren't allowed to run. It was dangerous in that area around the mansion to run. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Y'all, I hate the Bachelor Mansion.

Like, I don't feel any kind of way when I go back and I see it. Like, I don't get any kind of feeling. It is not, no sense of nostalgia. I'm like, ew. Those beds were awful. The shower wasn't working every night. I couldn't sleep there. I remember, like, and I was having an interview, actually, and I remember my eyes were swollen.

The day we were about to leave, my eyes were swollen. Like, I was delirious, and she was like, I was like, I just think I'm allergic to this mansion. I mean, I hated it. There's no chef, which I still am upset about. There's no place to work out. We actually could, maybe they stopped it after our season, but we could go down and like walk the whole thing and run the trail. I led some workout classes. Like, I led some, like, workout.

So I guess it's the secret of the show. We would, and then they caught on to this. We'd wake up before anyone else. me, Whitney, and Astrop would wake up, like, super early in the morning before they mic you, we'd get a cup of coffee, we'd go to the gazebo, and we would just talk, like, say all the things that we couldn't say on camera or when we were miced, and then they eventually caught on to that, and then they made us, they pulled us away. Also, I would, you know how there's the room with the balcony, and it comes to the other room? We had this crazy hall

monitor, and so when the girls would come back from their date, I think it was a her first season. So she was like really trying to impress. So when the girls would come back, we wanted to know what happened, but they would tell us to go to sleep. So I would bear crawl across the balcony, pull back the curtains, and I would be like, Astrid, what happened on the date? Because at one time, I don't know if you saw this during next season, they sent a girl home midday, Liz. So Liz was in my room, so I was like, where's Liz? Why isn't she here? So we're like peeking and she was like, where's Rachel? And what I had done is like I wear a scarf at night and I had put the scarf over the pillow and I had put like bodies and I had put the

thing over you I love you for this this is phenomenal a lot of work I know but I was like destined to know all the information and then she caught me and she's like what are you doing because we put our suitcases on the balcony I don't know if you guys did that too yeah and I was like I'm looking for socks I don't know it's just like really random thing anyways all that to say I didn't know if you guys share my sentiment it's I think the bachelor mansion is a beautiful home It's just not a home for 25 people How long were you there? Because we left early

We left early Week 3 We went to Singapore Oh well some people were like week I thought it was I think your season On Colton season It was that you got to go overseas

Yeah That normally doesn't happen that fast You're really only in the mansion For like Two weeks It's enough It's enough to go We'll start crazy

I'd like to check it out I really would I like to see it Damn Joe You didn't get the experience Did you cool with you I mean, I'm playing cards. I made a part of me that kind of wishes I wasn't in love

because I'd be like, I'd love to get back there. Well, you could probably go. They should invite me. I mean, it's only fair. We should do a little staycation there maybe. That would be funny. You know what? This is a segment.

You guys should truly do this. You should do something maybe at the beginning of Peter's season before he comes in. Just a segment of Joe experiencing the mansion for the first time. He walks upstairs. Pajamas. A sleep on her. She was really good.

She cares. He was by himself. Instead of Chris Harrison greeting the guy, like, Peter, you go greet him at first. And then, and then, like, that's it. I just want to experience it. Or pull up in a lima. Well, I guess that's already happened, but the limo far is already happened. I truly think you should do that.

Joe, they should. I never had a group date. I never had a group date. Or maybe you lead, like, a tour for all the first-nighters. That's true. You never got to hop out by the pool. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. What is one thing? No one told you about going on the show. that you wish you have known. That's a good question. That's a great question because I'm thinking like, what is it? I would tell you that as the lead, I wish someone would have told me how hard it was going to be sending people home.

When I came on before, I was like, I don't know these people. It's going to be nothing to be like, I'm saving you. You know, like just go home. You'll be fine. You get to go back to your normal life. It'll be fine. And I'm telling you from the first night, it is so hard for people to express to you, their feelings, and you're pushing them to open up, and then you've got to send them

home. It is, it is truly something that I underestimated, and I wish somebody would have told me how hard that was going to be before. Yeah, I think, I wish somebody would have told me to relax more, because I was, I was like, so serious. I think the first question I asked you in the house was, what is your biggest fear? Yeah, see? And they pulled away. That's right there with you. She was like, oh, she's like, Rachel, come here? Yeah. I was like, you're too serious, Mr. Bigger. I was the same way. I was, very like, oh, this is supposed to be accelerated. Let me ask accelerated questions.

D-D-D-D. And then I'm like, man, I think I'm scaring them away, y'all. I think I'm scaring them away. You've got to find a balance because you're getting you're nervous, you're in it. I would say maybe not to keep your guard up as much because it is an expedited experience. You kind of have to force yourself to be ready for things way earlier, at least for me, than I usually would be. So maybe just to... How do you drop your guard?

I mean, just throw yourself at the experience. You know, I mean, just throw yourself. Yeah, I mean, why not? I think there's strength and vulnerability. I mean, and I say this after going through everything, I wish that I saw the strength of my vulnerability earlier on. Because on The Bachelor, I felt like I was definitely, like, holding everything at an arm's distance.

So by the time Paradise came around, I was a lot more receptive towards that. But, yeah. Maybe have a drink first and going to longer. I did not drink for, like, the first couple weeks. I was like, no alcohol. I will not have an impaired judgment. Smart. I wish I would have taken, like, a friend that had a camera and just roll and just let me talk on camera for a while.

Yeah, just so, because I don't, I really didn't, I've never done that. So, like, when I was so, when I saw the cameras and they were like, where, you know, you are, and I was like, what are these people? They're all judging me right now. I'm being judged. You guys are judging me. And I'm thinking that in my head because I wasn't used to it. And then I start hearing myself talk and I'm like, this is horrible.

You know, I, I destroyed myself before I could even be myself. Yeah, you start prematurely judging you. Yeah. You would have really benefited by being in a costume. And I'm dead serious because, Joe, it never. Well, they asked me. They asked me to be what.

But I think it would have taken away some of your nerves. Like, they can't see you, but you can see them. And then, you know, once you would have taken it off, then you've been like, oh, okay, like he's not a dud. because that's what you're always afraid of when they're wearing them that would have been so if you're a Joe and you go on this season

well they ask me they're like do you want to do anything and I'm like no I'm good I'm just going to be myself and I remember one of the producers is like just have something you know just have something to say anything but you need something to fall back on and I had nothing

and I went out there with nothing and that's what I came home with nothing what about you Brian for me I don't know I think it's just not be so much of a rule follower probably wish i would have to that hotel room yeah you had a game plan and it worked it did but yeah i just i guess i just listened to producers every single time and i was like you know maybe i should just do it like wing it and do it and see what the chips

but that's like he's such a rule follower like he he's always like well it says this i'm like oh who cares about that we're gonna do it this but it's such a good balance i i love that you're a rule follower it's a good it's really a good balance tasha what about you I was really nervous, so I think I was a little more reserved. I wish I would have, like, just let, yeah, let loose, let my personality show a little bit earlier on, as opposed to, like, I mean, you saw me sit in chocolate. You saw me be, like, silly, towards the end. Like, that's just Tasia.

That's like a tasha moment for you. But I just wish I would have let loose a little bit, because I was so nervous. I didn't even know what I was saying to Colton when I was talking to him. Yeah. You know? I think it's like that. I regret that. Like, I wish I would have opened up a little more.

I think the moral of it all is when it comes to things we wish we would have known before going on the show. Like, I think that you should get in front of a camera, Joe. Yeah, just about being comfortable. And practice talking or seeing a camera follow you and be there. I think that you should just try to let go and be yourself and not try to over-anticipate, you know, what they may do. You know, just be you, do you. Because then at the end of the day, you can say, you can rest assured, at least I gave it my all and I was myself, no matter when you go home.

Right? Yeah, 100%. Unless it's more. the less you know, the better you might be. Because if you know more, you might feel. Don't look anything up. Because you're planning a game based on what you think is going to happen. Too many things in your head, yeah.

And don't judge anyone either. Yes. You know, it's very easy to be in the house and be like, that person looks like an idiot or that person sounds like an idiot. And then you start, you judge other people. You judge yourself. You're in your head. It's too much.

It's just go out there and chill the best way you can. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. And if you didn't get enough, guess what? Next week, we're going to have part. two of Bachelor Happy Hour Friendsgiving, so make sure you tune in because you don't want to miss out. In the meantime, you can get all the latest Bachelor Nation news on bachelornation.com right now. And if you have something that you want to tell us, good, bad, whatever, we're open to constructive criticism. You can email us at Happy Hour at bachelornation.com or visit

bachelor nation.com and click podcast. Thank you so much, guys, for listening. of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier, ignoring is easier, denial is easier, complex problem solving, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD

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