Bachelor Happy Hour - Hakeem’s Self-Love Journey | Golden Hour

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

Today on “Golden Hour,” we have Hakeem from this season of “Paradise”! Before we bring him in, we're chatting all about the big Bachelorette news! Kathy and Susan dish their thoughts on Taylor Frankie Paul and the season to come. Then, we bring in Hakeem! He’s here to get real about his time at the beach and dish out some advice to our listeners. We kick things off with “Paradise” as Hakeem tells us about how he prepared for the journey, his mentality going into it, and his thoughts on his early elimination.  Then, we hear all of his updates post-show! From modeling to what’s next for him romantically, he’s telling all. Next, we dive into our advice portion, starting with the question of the day: Which do you prefer — grand gestures or everyday small gestures? We discuss our latest listener write in: What do I do when my best friend doesn’t like my girlfriend, but she’s my first relationship and I love her? Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcasts. You know I get down. You come from the urban areas. You understand politics more than you giving credit for. Between Jerry out here, Mandarin all over the place, hop-out boys snatching up family members

and two wars that was supposed to be done in 24 hours. Not to mention Epstein. We had to reach out to the homie Jamil Hill because she's going to keep it a century. In America, what sells in politics are narratives and storylines. Like, we treat politics like we treat sports, which is part of the reason why we're in the situation we're in right now. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Lauren came in high. From standout speeches to the shows and stars making all of the history, my podcast, the latest with Lauren the Rosa, has your full Emmys breakdown. The wins, the surprises, the cultural impact, and what it really means for us.

I'm a homeguard that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. Listen to the latest with Lauren the Rosa from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app. You can get it at Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of your take it all! I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming at me? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me, I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to no such thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, the Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks so much for joining us again. And we're so excited to be back, huh, Kathy? Yes, another day,

another podcast. And if you haven't done it yet, now is the time to follow our podcast so that you never miss an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and hit the follow button. Yep, super important that you follow the podcast because you're going to get notified every time there's a new episode. Also, while you're there, leave us a review or write in a question. Also, make sure to check out all of our past episodes. We have been having so much fun, answering your questions, dishing out advice. So keep them coming at bachelornation.com slash golden hour. So today, we have a very special guest joining us.

But before we bring him in, Kathy, we have to talk about the new bachelorette. Holy smokes. Taylor, Frankie Paul, let's talk. Well, first of all, I wish I was warm in now. I mean, really, they're getting everything. Well, there is that. Yeah, she's going to be on like two. Mormon shows and this show all at once.

But okay, wait, I have to say, I know there are people that are going to be like, what? Because, you know, Bachelor has traditionally plucked men and women from obscurity. Yes, yes. Like us. Like us. And put them on. But you know what? I think because of the nature of reality TV now and the number of dating shows, Bachelor is smart.

They decided to completely go a different. direction, pulling this young woman who has kids, who's been divorced, who's at 31 has already lived a really rich, varied life, and she's going to bring with her her million plus followers. People are going to be invested in her and tune in. That's what I think. And she's on her other reality show. I mean, people do watch that so they'll come over. Right. That's what I'm saying. She's got so many followers. Just as well, Bachelor will go over. Yeah. I think I think it's a bold move by the bachelor franchise, but I think it's a great move. I think change is good.

I think sometimes people fight change. And, you know, people say, we want change, we want change. And then you give them change. And they're like, well, you want to go back to, you know. But I am, I obviously don't know her. She's obviously adorable. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's adorable.

And the men coming on, when you have young children, it's a whole. different ballgame when you're dating somebody with a child. Maybe they've reached out to men that age that might have children as well. I don't know. Right. But that's what I'm saying. There's going to be so many facets of this show. I think that are going to be something Bachelor has never done. And I think people are going to tune in in a big way to see how I can't wait. Personally, I hope so. Yes. Yeah, I'm excited. I mean, I couldn't have Mel. So maybe, maybe I'm going to. Maybe. Maybe. I can get invested in Taylor and see how her life goes. Oh, I just hope we get to meet her live and in person.

Yes. Okay, well, we'll see what happens. Okay. All right. Now, it's time to get into today's episode. So let's bring in our guest. Everyone, please welcome from Bachelor in Paradise and Gen season of the Bachelorette. Hakeem, hi, my little sweetheart.

Welcome back to Golden Hour. Hi. What up? What else, y'all? How are you doing? So excited to see you. Oh, my goodness. The Love Fest begins.

I'm telling you, I wasn't on Paradise, but you would not have gone home so soon. There would have been rumors. Okay. Well, so, Hakeet. It wouldn't have been no rumors. It would have been a fact of me, you and Susan. I'm going to tell you that right now. We have chemistry like no other.

Oh, yeah. I just want to point out that Susan is in a monogamous relationship. I was in Paradise dying to meet you And when you heard I was coming You went home That's what happened I heard Damn You thought it was my choice

How was your experience? I want to hear tell us about it My experience was short But it was phenomenal Honestly I got to A long time right To get you were one of the first ones

Yeah it was It was one of the first We announced So I got my mind right Got my body right You know I was trying my best And I, you know, I was actually really nervous coming into it as well. I'm really, really nervous.

But, like, I was like, I'm going to be 100% myself. They're going to love me. They're going to love me. If they don't like me, they don't like me in, in the sense. So, like, I went in and did the best that I could. Was it what you expected, Hakeem? Was it when you got there? Was it what you expected?

In what context do you feel like? I don't know. Who was on the beach? What you thought you were going to get when you got? Obviously, you didn't think you'd go home so soon. But no. You know, everybody wants to. love story. I wanted the love story. I wanted to be

able to get on one knee and propose to somebody. So that was always the expectation I was kind of put, you know, I'm always there. I was there waiting for you, Hakeem. You just gone on. Wait, who is seriously? Stop playing with me. Stop playing. Don't play up my heart. Don't play up my heart. I'll fly out to you right now.

Who did you want to say on the beach besides me? You hoping for somebody to be there and they weren't? I mean, they were absolutely on the beach, but she's, she's in a relationship. Who is she? Parisa. She's in a very happy relationship. So, like, I was so excited to meet her. And it's literally 24 hours afterwards. She's on the beach. So that was a dagger. I least wanted my shot to try to just say hi and tell her how much I enjoy her energy and how much I think she'd be great as a girlfriend. Obviously, not right away being her girlfriend, but she brings a lot to the table. So again, like, yeah, she's amazing. I don't know. You never had the opportunity to tell her. Did you ever say anything? She wasn't there. I know outside of the show. outside of the show.

No, because before I saw her at STK Steakhouse for Grants' ending of his season, but I never chatted with her. I actually wanted to keep it very platonic. I mean, I waved at her, and she saw that I saw her and so forth. But I wanted to keep it very platonic before Paradise, you know, and so forth.

So it doesn't seem like I was trying to get to know her beforehand and all that, so forth. But yeah, I never got to shoot my shot. All good, though. It's not, like I said, like everything happens for reason. And hopefully she's extremely. happy with whatever she's doing, because that's all that matters. But my woman's out there.

My woman's out there. Were you surprised about the $500,000? He didn't know when he was there. Correct. The $500,000, I have mixed emotions. To be honest, I was super excited for them because that's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. I got student loans that I got to pay off.

And, you know, I would be very, very happy. But I feel like it just changed the meaning of the show, though, a little bit. I feel like people started to be strategic. And I'm like, what the hell we're being strategic on a love show for? We're trying to get married. Hold on, Hakeem. Which would you have chosen then? If you had stayed around and you, a couple up with someone, would you have chosen the money or love?

And if you couldn't choose both. Oh, you couldn't choose both. I don't know if you can. I don't know, but I'm saying, you know. No, no, for sure. To be honest with you, if I'm going down to the end and I'm getting down on one knee or picking the money, I'm going to be honest, I'm probably going to get down on one knee. Here's the reason why is because, like, you can always earn $500,000.

And I put myself in a situation. I'm going to put myself in my brain to say that I'm going to make that much money in the future. And I can do that, but I'm not going to sacrifice something that might be once in a lifetime. That's the kind of way I expect that. Yeah. But $500,000 a lot of money. So wait, my brain goes here, okay? If you guys are a couple and you speak about it,

we're going to say I'm choosing the money on TV and I'll see you afterwards. Do you think something like that could happen? How? They got cameras on us everywhere, inside our rooms, inside. You can't just be like a, you know, like a little wing. Yeah, but Hakeem, they can't when you go home,

if you choose the money, they can't stop you from calling up. You know, I mean, I don't know what the rules are, You know, maybe the rule says if you hook up with that person when you leave, then you have to pay back. Wow. I don't know, but I wanted that money too. But if it came down to the end, like, you know, just had to pick, like, I didn't know you had to pick love or the money.

Wait, is that what you have to do? It's all confusing. Yeah, I'm confused. Because that's what they said. You made it to the finale. How the hell are you confused? Because I what do you mean? because I wasn't there for the very end.

They planted a seed last week for the coming attractions of this week coming. Next week saying maybe it's the money, maybe it's for love. I don't know. I don't know. I believe you can have both. But wait, Hakeem, I want to know because, you know, money gets boring talking about money. I want to know what you thought. I know you didn't get to meet us, but what did you think?

about Golden's being on the show. Oh, fuck yeah. You guys, you, the Golden's as a whole Yeah. Save the Bachelor and Paras. Well, really, let's make it all about me.

What did you think about me? Let me, let me say this one more time as a young buck that was on the Bachelor in Paradise. Without the Golden, we wouldn't have the viewership. We wouldn't. Nope.

You held it down specifically you. You needed, you started a whole trend. Like, yo, I need some tequila, yo. and let me get a bottle of wine. Like, you started a whole trend. We was boring as fuck. I'm sorry. I'm going to be honest.

And doing the body shots. I'm just going to be honest with you. You guys held it down. There were stories for days that were true and honest stories, yeah? You had Gary. You had Leslie Fine-ass. You had Kathy up there with Keith. You had Kim.

You had April out there cougar hunting. They, you guys brought a, you guys, your energy unmatched. And that's my biggest. Obviously, I wanted to meet Parisa, too, because she's beautiful. She is. And no, she's as sweet and kind and smart as she is beautiful. And I think she's single. But when it comes on to you guys, I really was so excited for seeing you guys. And I never got to see you guys. And that literally hurts so much. Because when I was watching, obviously, I'm watching it back when you guys came through.

And everyone's having so much fun. You guys were so lit. I was jealous. Oh, my God. You know what? We came to have fun. That's the difference in our ages. You did. You guys all killed it and crushed it.

And you looked fire too, Kathy. Let me tell you that. You look fire out there. How came you are the best? A Statue of Liberty. Keep talking. I love it. I can tell you.

I love it. Would you do Paradise again? Because you didn't. Hell no. Hell no. So wait, I read somewhere that you crawled back into your shell after filming. Is there any truth of that? And why?

Crawl back into my shell. When it comes down to me, if I'm going to go on a show, I want it to be very intentional. I feel like in this, like now that I know, like there's $500,000 involved with it, it just changes the whole thing because you're going to go into it like, damn, I want the money too. Like going into there, I was going in. I'm thinking like, oh, they're going to bring, you know, you're going to bring all these girls. because, you know, we talk beforehand. They're going to bring in, like, all these girls that we talked about, so then I can really build a connection.

But then at the end of the day, you forget it's the TV show, too, and they're doing their job by making great TV. And, yeah, I'm 31 now. I'm trying to find love. I would go on a TV show, maybe like a competition game show, or something that's very intentional to find that person, their person, specifically that's their goal. So why would you go on Paradise again?

I mean, Kathy, come on now. I'm like, Kathy, come on now. What? You just on this, Kathy, like, come on. But Kathy got to stay, so it's a different experience. She stayed for what? The $500,000. And then she.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. No, no. But look at Nancy. She came in and left like you. Wait a second. I got to clear my name. Keith and I said, and I think that's why the young ones liked us so much because we gave advice and we were friendly.

and I love all y'all but Keith and I had said and we meant it we were not taking money out of Youngen's hands I said on last week's episode oh no we had told them and I said on the episode we said well it's not that it's just

that at our age relationship with people is more valuable to us than putting more money in the bank and you guys you have college loans to pay off that's what I said about Alex she has college loans to pay off you You guys want to buy your first house.

And that could be a real big jumpstart. So Keith and I were not taking money out of young kids' hands. It's not why I stayed. That's not why Keith stayed. So now, Charlie, I'm just poking from my bag. I want to know why, though. Nancy came quickly and left. You were there really quick and left.

That has to be a lot because you prepare and you can't wait to get there and have this experience. And then within a second, it's over. I think the most disappointing part was truthfully that they announced me that early and then like none of the girls that I was expecting to be there was there. Who else? Who else? Who else? Who else? What am I going to do now? Who else were you expecting? I was hoping Poresa. I was hoping Jojo was going to be there. She's with Sam McKinney. We love that. She's in Sam McKinney and all that. Let's see. Who else? Who else? Who else? Honestly, I was really looking forward to getting to know those two girls. And whoever came, came. Also, Olivia Lewis, I mentioned her way beforehand, too, after our men tell off and all that good stuff.

But, yeah, I mean, I'm not a person that's going to force it. You know, I did it. I loved it. Bachelorette was amazing and all that. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcast. You already know our get-down. If you grew up in our urban areas of comforted struggle,

you understand politics. much more than you giving credit for. Fans taking over American cities, government hop-out boys, hopping out the van, snatching up your theo in them, two wars that was supposed to be solved in 24 hours. Jerry just out here, mandering all over the place.

The turfs! And of course, the Epstein of it all. Well, this week, we decided to shoot our shot, and boy, did we pull up from the logo, to see if we could get somebody to come tap in with us. And the one and only Jamil Hill pulled up from the Spolitics podcast to keep it a whole.

century. In America, what sells in politics are narratives and storylines. It's like we treat politics like we treat sports, which is part of the reason why we're in the situation we're in right now. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast. for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Do you want to hear the secrets of serial killers, psychopaths, pedophiles, robbers? They are sitting there waiting for the vulnerable thing. They're waiting for the unprotected. I'm Dr. Leslie, forensic psychologist. I advocate for safety and awareness of predators while wearing pink. When you were described to me as a forensic psychologist, I was like snooze. We ended up talking for hours, and I was like, this girl is my best friend.

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I'm Jamil Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation. about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents,

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Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Well, wait a minute. Do you believe you can find love in paradise? Oh, yeah. You see grocery store Joe in us. So I'm saying, so I'm asking you why, if you believe in love, you want to find love, why wouldn't you do paradise again? Well, grocery store Joe didn't have to choose between $500,000 and love, you know?

So that was a whole different dynamic then. So, like, I can take a girl down all the way to the final and then she can say, I actually want the money. so you're playing with fire at this point because now people are going to go on the show for money too so like that's why I wouldn't want to do it because I know I'm an empath and I know I'm going to be hurt and like for me like yeah like that's gonna yeah I've been heartbroken before and it's taking me a long time and especially if I'm going to be engaged with somebody I have never felt that type of heartbreak before and I empathize for all the men and women who have but like I could never put myself in a situation that

you don't have to put you up I'll listen I can solve this for you what's up I can solve this you go on paradise again if they ask you you find the girl

you fall in love if you don't win the money and she wants some money Susan will just send her a check for 500K you get the money you get the money is this new for every paradise

they're going to have money who knows it might be something they just tried once who knows yeah What did you think about the new way the show was narrated and the way they did things? I mean, I'm not hating or nothing like that.

I just think personally for Hakeem, I don't think I can make that. I don't know if I'll be able to be that vulnerable that I would have to trust that someone's going to pick me over $500,000 because I know myself, right? If I find somebody that's going to marry me, who's going to have my children, all those things, I'm going to do whatever I can. I'm going to dive head first in that. And I can't have the same expectation that someone's going to have the same type of mindset.

And that's why I would rather, I mean, if I have to have trust. Oh, yeah, for sure. Chances. For sure. But how normal is it that somebody has to choose 500K over you? It's not a normal situation that you're going to see every day. So like that's the ultimate test, right? But like, yeah.

So like for me, I will, I don't, I don't blame anybody who would want to take 500K, but I don't want it to be at the expense of my. heart to break somebody's heart I hope it doesn't happen yeah for sure but it's it's it can't happen talk about hate mail yeah so wait are you dating anyone Hakeem now um well I'm looking forward to dating um I'm still not but I mean I'm dating I'm trying on like I'm looking around I'm chatting I'm not actively searching I'm just focusing on myself because if I'm not 100% in tip top shape then how am I going to be able to take care of my lady Wait a minute, wait a minute, what kind of shape?

What are you talking about? Mental shape? What kind of shape are we talking? Emotionally, I think I have to do better with my emotional regulation. I think that's my last hurdle that, like, I need to learn how to just let things go and not, you know, you don't have to say stuff, you know? And I feel like with that, I feel like there's a lot of things with me because I'm a very in emotional, dude. I wear my heart on my sleeve and all those things. We've said this before.

My God, you're talking my life. No, for sure. So like, I just don't take care of myself in relationships. I make sure to take care of my partner in tenfold. And then I don't have anything for me. So I got to love myself. I don't think I say I love myself. I say I'm confident. Yeah, I think I'm a good looking dude. But like, do I truly love myself how much that I love other people? Because I love other people because I seek that validation that they need me. They want me. They love me too. Instead of just saying, I'm going to do this because I love them. Done. You're almost there, baby, because if you're able to say what you just said and you've realized this, you're almost there.

Do you love yourself. Now, tell me about this model thing. Modeling career. Modeling career. Oh, my modeling career. Are you thought female right away, a model? Hold on, y'all for the step you out with a model. Yeah, I walked at San Diego Swin Week.

As you probably I saw that thing that you were It was bizarre I mean, I would say it was different Different, different I wouldn't wear it probably none of that's

because I'm not I don't got the swag like that To be but how did you feel How did you feel doing that? It was liberating Because they had me there And they were like Hakeem

Just be yourself We because I knew going into this I'm like guys I'm not your You know your average You know runway model That's like and all that

they let me be me I was out there hitting the Kwan I was cranking that slow to the way I was going to get in the house everybody was enjoying it but I can tell

like the modeling coordinator was like a little bit embarrassed she's like oh my god but dude the designers the audience they were laws

how did that come about how did they reach out to you how did that come about yeah they reached out to me as an ambassador and I was like you know what do y'all need somebody

that can walk And then you're like, you know what? Yeah, we got you. We got you. So then they pulled a little strings, got me in there. Aaron Bryant was there too. Brandon Jones as well from, Brandon Jones from Michelle season.

So, yeah, it was, it was a great opportunity. I'm going to be doing another one for charity as well. So I'm excited for that. That's fun. That's so fun. Yeah, it's super fun. You know what? Put it out there.

Maybe Ms. Wright will come and, you know, just check you out. No, you don't want to do that. I want it to be so organic that I'm like, just take. can buy surprise. Like, yo, like, where did you come from? Like, you know what I mean? Like, where have you been? Because I throw it out there. Hakeem's going to be here and all that. Like, first of all, I'm a nobody. Like, I'm, like, I'm going to, Hakeem's going to be there.

I'm like, never, never, never, never, never, never, never say that. I'm not Michael B. I'm not Michael B. I'm not. What I'm saying is, Susan, what I'm saying, though, is, is that, like, in situations like this, I want to just run into my woman without it having to be tried. Like, I don't want to have to feel like I'm trying to find her because every person that I've talked with that's in a happy relationship as happens when you're not looking. Amen, that's the story of our lives.

It's consistent every single time you're not looking for it and then it just happens. So I'm trusting that I'm going to just keep doing my thing. I'm going to work on myself. I'm going to try to put good into the world and then she will hopefully be upon me and bless me. All right. So what are you thinking for the rest of this world?

What do you, the rest is? the rest of this world. Yeah, the rest of this year. The rest of this year, what are you manifesting for yourself? What obviously, Ms. Wright's going to compound your door down, your front door down, but what else? She might tiptoe in. She might tiptoe in.

She might meow at the back door. What else do I have? I'm walking in another show. I'm also going to be going to Vegas. for this an event. I'm going to go with Brandon. Brandon's the man. Brandon from Michelle's season,

Brandon Jones, like he's kind of became like one of my close friends, like when I'm very close. And he's just hooking me up because, you know, he's Brandon Jones. So I'm just, you know, I'm just there just,

you know, having fun there for that event. So I'm looking at the event in Vegas. It's called Rise, I think. Okay. It's called Rise. I'm not sure. If you know,

I really don't be outside like that. I'm really in the crib watching TV. So like, if I get, if I get invited someone, I'm like, all right, fuck it. You want me going to Vegas? I'll do it. Just remember what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, Hakeem. Hell yeah, girl.

Say that. Say that. It's a bad town. Say that. Oh, my God. All right, we got to move. We are going to move into our topic of the day because you were. Wait, wait, wait, I have one more thing.

Oh, God. I'm getting in here transplant. What? I'm dead ass. I'm going to Turkey and I'm getting to hear transplant. We just got back from Turkey. Who? Who wants to Turkey?

Susan and I, yeah. what we invited you but you didn't answer the call when we called so we had to leave without you you you don't even have my digits you know you not you really you really i can get your digits trust me won't you i ain't do something with it then so you're going to do it yes do what the hair transplant hell yeah you're gonna see me i'm gonna have a fresh cut i'm gonna have a forehead like it's so small my forehead is about five in the bitches i got a five head so when i'm gonna had that line to go down, had my line and so crisp, nobody's

going to be able to say nothing. Okay, why Turkey? A couple of my clients did it. One just is growing like crazy, and he did it in Florida. Istanbul was supposed to be the place for really good. He got money, money. He got money, he's doing it in Florida. He's doing it

in the States. He got money, money. All right, sorry, Kathy. Well, if you need a nurse to take care of you afterward, Kathy and I, we know all about Istanbul. Oh, shit. I think I need somebody to take care of me right now. Literally keep your shirt on. All right. We are moving into our topic of the day before this degenerates any further.

All right, Hakeem, what do you find to be more romantic? I already know the answer to this, but I'm going to ask anyway. Grand gestures are small everyday things and why? Small everyday gestures. Or grand gestures, which? No, everyday small jests, not grand gestures. Yeah. So I don't think, I don't need all the grand stuff and all that.

I want you to do things to let me know that you're thinking about me. It doesn't have to be you're taking me to no boo to get some sushi. Like if you're just making my life easier, if I got to go to work and you see I'm in the shower and my clothes aren't, you know, my clothes are crinkled and you're like, hey, let me take care of this real quick for you. Or let me start the coffee for you real quick. That makes me think that, oh, yeah, she cares about my well-being and like how I am feeling at this moment, not just trying to get this grand gesture to be like, oh, wow, you did such a great thing,

blah, blah, blah, blah, but she's actually thinking that's his love language, so to speak. Remember we talked about love languages? Yeah, no, that's exactly, you're all the same. I would much rather have a small gesture. Absolutely. And for exactly the same reason I came. Just they're thinking about me, they care about my welfare, just that small thing of turning on the coffee. They care. Yeah, absolutely. Are you a coffee drinker? To me is caring. Bringing the coffee. You're right. I am. That is such a delight when that happens.

It's not often, but over the times that I've been out and when someone does that, it's like, oh my God, that's, I do it for people all the time. Does your man do it for you right now? Well, he doesn't live in the States. Where does he? Pardon me. Where does he live? He lives in St. Martin.

The fuck it. St. Martin. French West. Oh. Oh. Caribbean. Yeah. Caribbean. I never heard of it. Actually, I always get up first though. Hold on. You dating a brother? He's from France.

Oh, okay. Because, you know, Caribbean. I was like, hold on. Yeah, no. He's from French. Oh, he's French. It's St. Martin has two sides, a Dutch side and a French side. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. That's interesting. But I love your love language. And Kathy, you like the small gestures to, for me. gestures to for me it's about attention and physical touch like me when I'm in the room and you just you know touch me I'm a touchy person I am too and everybody like I want all four of the love

languages yeah oh that's what they always say what you're a long time to learn that my partner didn't necessarily have the same love language as I did and I never knew that I always assumed what I like I would do for them but that's not their love language you know it took me a long time to yeah no for sure it's taking a lot of failed relationships for myself to realize that even my communication style isn't the way other people want to be communicated to as well so yeah no totally for sure with that kathu what is your thoughts you're are you a physical touch person too like very so if i'm sleeping oh go ahead some people like gifts you know i buy gifts but i don't necessarily need the gifts i just

just the attention. My thing is I like the small gestures. I mean, you want to bring me a Porsche. I'm not going to turn it down. But that's not my goal. But yeah, just the, and I'm very much a, it's honestly, Hakeem, it's gotten me into trouble sometimes with men who I'm not, I'm a touchy person. But, you know, they misread that.

No, I get it. I totally understand that. If someone is just laying down, right, I wake up in the middle of night and I just need touch you just to I don't know how do you feel about that is that weird do you feel like because you know they're they're wanting to be there no we had a question earlier hakeem about on another podcast about sleeping in separate bets I was like no I like to put my cold feet on your back and stay warm eight yes sleep apnea I got my own room I'm sorry Let's treat you.

Hey, dude's you ain't shit. You age shit. Oh, you are feeling. And a machine and all that. Get out. Hey, Susan, they've come a long way. They now have little things they implant in your skin. I would be a one of those, but not everybody could get.

All right, West West. Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop. You already know our get-down. If you grew up in our urban areas of comfort of struggle, you understand politics much more than you giving credit for. Feds taking over American cities, government hop-out boys, hopping out the van, snatching up your theo in them,

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held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years, but their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction,

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Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. All right, again, we're going to move on here to our advice portion. You're going to give some advice, Huckie. Are you ready? All right. We're going to ask a question and you're just going to tell us what you think. All right, here we go.

This question is from Zach. He's 28 from Short Hills, New Jersey. Hi, Kathy and Susan. My mom listens to your podcast and she is also having trouble helping me with this situation. So she told me to write in. I've been dating my girlfriend for about five months now, and this is actually my first real relationship. Overall, I'm really happy and honestly just excited to have found someone I connect with. The only problem is my best friend, who also happens to be my roommate, doesn't like her.

He's constantly pushing for, quote, guys nights where she isn't invited, and he makes me feel guilty if I choose to spend time with her or have her sleep over. When I asked him why he feels this way, he told me he thinks she has quote controlling vibes and that she's not the right person for me this has been tough because he and I have been close since we were little kids and I really value his opinion at the same time I care about my girlfriend and just want him to be happy for me I'm stuck between wanting to honor a lifelong friendship and also wanting to explore this new relationship how do I balance both without losing one or the other how does he say is 27 28 28 he a grown-ass man talking about he wanted him to come over for boys night he's trying to get to know a woman and you telling him he's in he should feel guilty because he's been in time he's tripping his friend is tripping if that's really I'll be damn facts I'll be damn if one of my homies is like man you know you gotta you gotta you gotta you gotta make time for us you know and I think she's super controlling like I know what I'm getting myself into as well right I can stand on business and so forth and so forth I don't need another person telling me that yo like we don't want you dating this person

And so, Zach, you need to just go follow through with this. You know what I mean? So, like, in this whole situation, you're not in the wrong. There's nothing for you to balance. I think the only thing that needs to balance something is your homie. He needs to balance the facts that he needs to know that his friend is still his friend, but he's exploring a connection. But does he say it?

But, Hakeem, does he come out and say it to his friend? Because remember, this is Zach's first real relationship. So he's probably, you know, a little unnerved by the whole. thing and he doesn't want to lose his childhood friend and he's probably I mean you know you're a man about the world you've been out and about but this guy is never dated and this is his first relationship he doesn't want to so what's he going to do how's going to keep him both let me add something to that before you answer it Hakeem and I agree with what you said but I try to keep an open mind what if because it is it is his first real relationship he's got his blinders on and he's going to learn

the hard ways the answer and and her had And his roommate sees it. Like, it could be. It could be, but he's going to learn. He's got to learn his own lesson. He has to learn on his own. I think the roommate's jealous. He's going to lose a roommate.

I truly just think that in that situation, he just is jealous, one, or be just bored. Because some of the time that he was getting with Zach is now being invested into a woman that he doesn't like as well. And truthfully, it's no one's business. If he has his blinders on. or not. In my point of view, I think in the, in this grand scheme of everything, if he's happy in that relationship and that is your best friend from childhood, you want him to augment his happiness. So, and she's doing that, like, why would you be upset with that? And if that person

stops being your friend, that wasn't your friend. Okay, but I'm got to, I got to ask you. Do me devil's advocate. I, no, I'm not. I totally agree with you. But what you're not saying is how does he handle the situation? He goes to his friend. and says, hey, homie, fill in the blank. What does he say? Hey, homie. Chill out. Back up.

Stay in your lane, bitch. Stay in your lane, bitch. He's talking to his roommate. What is wrong with you? He's being a bitch, Cass. The roommate is being a bitch. Honestly, when it comes down to it, he should just say to him, like, hey, like, I know you're feeling some type of way about this whole situation.

I mean, you're not a big fan of my current girlfriend, but, hey, this is my first relationship ever, and I'm feeling great in this relationship. And I know you're not a big fan of her, but right now, unfortunately, like, I feel like I want to keep progressing things. And I want you to be a part of that. So, like, you're happy for me. Exactly. Okay. So, like, you try to put that out there in his face.

I love it. I think. I hope you heard us. Yeah. And if it, listen, and Hakeem, if modeling doesn't work out or whatever else you're doing, you could become a therapist for young, stupid boys. Therapist. That's hilarious. That would be me, my role.

I like that. I could be a coach. in a sense Yeah, just a life coach And just like I'm worried about things That actually matter I think we worry about things

That don't matter So much more You know Sweat the small stuff No way All right Hakeem We've asked you a lot of questions

You have anything You want to ask us You know we know you better Do you want to know What do you want to know Open the floor What do you know Are you dating right now Kathy

What's going on Oh just stab me Just stab me Stab me You asked me too She makes friends. I would love to be dating, but I'm not. But you know of someone.

Kathy, you are fine. Don't do that. Don't make it sound like you know somebody. There's men out there that they see you. And they're like, damn, she's tough. Like, they want to talk to her. So like, don't do that. How are they?

They do. And it just so happens that that's not her person. Right, Kathy? There's somebody trying to get her right now. Right now. No, guys. They're listening to your podcast. No, listen, he's a nice guy.

He and I are on separate. Politically, we're not aligned. There's no, I mean, huh? The man that was interested in Kathy. The guy that would like to date me. We are not politically aligned. We're not, we don't like to do the same things. I mean, you know, he said to me, you're beautiful.

I want to date you. Well, there's, you know, thank you. But, you know, so no, I would love, I don't, I don't have a spark for him. I would love, I have a friend's spark for him. I would love to find someone to date. But it's not as easy, Hakeem, here's the thing. Women reach out to men from Golden Bachelor and Golden Bachelor. The men get reached out to because women are social media.

Guys in their 60s are not on social media for the most part. And they don't know how to, they don't know how to. Perverts are. Yeah. Fair enough. So I got a problem. So if you can solve that for me, I'd be, I'd be, I'd be, I'd be very great. be more than happy to be a liaison for you.

Like, I can absolutely do that, be the middleman for you because that's going to be easy money, easy money. So you have non-negotiables. Clearly, we see here, what else are your other non-negotiables for you that you're like, I'm not. I actually have very few non-negotiables. I want a guy that will travel with me. I want a guy that will make me laugh. You know, everyone says, I'm so funny and I make them laugh. I want someone that makes me laugh.

I want to have fun with someone. I would, you know, he's got to understand that I'm not a great. great cook. I'm not going to sit there. Not a great cook, Kathy? I can cook. I can cook. I don't want to cook. Kathy does not cook. I want somebody. Let's be real. I can cook. I can't cook.

I want somebody fit. I want somebody fit. She can play golf and she's super, super smart. She'll figure out anything. She'll write you a letter or an email. I mean, brilliant. But when it comes to the kitchen, I can't look I'm just saying so I want somebody who likes adventure who's fit I'm not looking

I want here's the problem Hakeem and I'm just and then we're going to put this whole podcast to rest I am 72 years old but I have the energy all my friends are in their 40s and 50s and they can't keep up with me

so there's a big disconnect there guys want you know it's it's they're worried about the number yeah right wait so for the energy wise are you meaning like your sex drive or just meaning like going out wise all of it physically she's in

physically I'm in great shape you know all of it I have energy for everything and got it and you know men look at the number and go note she says like say your famous line I don't want to use the guy I don't want a used to guy you know what he used to guy is

a hakema used to guy he used to play tennis he used to ski he used to travel and now he sits his ass on the sofa That's absolutely nothing. Got it. Got it. Definitely.

But I think the age is nothing but a number. Truth from being honest. You see Shear, she's phenomenal. She's not real. She's not real. That's what people are going to say about me. You are literally beautiful. Basically, basically what I'm saying.

You are literally phenomenal. Thank you. Inwardly and outwardly. You are literally gorgeous. And yet you've got to think for Susan. So I don't know what to say. It's just chemistry, Kathy. You can't make that shit up.

Yeah, I mean, Susan is like, Susan and I is just, yeah. It was instant. The day I met you, it was like, wow. She was like, a hug. A stiff breeze could hurt my feelings at times. People's negative comments on my Instagram accounts. Like, why did they say that? Why are you so mean to me?

And also, Kathy, truthfully, I have a huge crush on Chris Jenner as well. And Susan is literally like. Excuse me. Have you seen Chris Jenner lately? They look nothing like anymore. She's gorgeous. She looks like 40 years old. They don't look alike anymore. I'm serious. I love you, Susan.

Yes, we do. All I need is like cheek implants or something. But I love Chris. Yeah, she's gorgeous. She is gorgeous. What's up? You got, are you kicking me out? Damn.

It's about time here. And I just want to say, Hakeem Yeah After we get off this podcast You better get Before you crawl in her shirt You better go find me a guy

Okay With that being said That does it for this episode Of Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour Thank you all Thank you Hakeem Thank you all for joining us And be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour

As we have new episodes coming out every week And you don't want to miss even one And we promise each and every one of you we will have him back on here again. Make sure to submit your questions to us, and you can go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour, or you can hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour. All right, West West, Prop here from Hood Politics with Prop Podcast.

You know I get down. You come from the urban areas. You understand politics more than you giving credit for. Between Jerry out here, Mandarin all over the place, hop-out boys snatching up family members, and two wars that was supposed to be done in 24 hours. Not to mention Epstein. We had to reach out to the homie Jamel Hill

because she's going to keep it a century. In America, what sells in politics are narratives and storylines. It's like we treat politics like we treat sports, which is part of the reason why we're in the situation we're in right now. Listen to the hood politics with prop podcasts on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Anya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency. Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free Iheart radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Lauren came in high. From standout speeches to the shows and stars making all of the history, My podcast, The Latest with Lauren the Rosa, has your full Emmys breakdown. The wins, the surprises, the cultural impact, and what it really means for us.

I'm a homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody. Listen to the latest with Lauren the Rosa from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app. You can get it at Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of your take it all! I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No Such thing. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets. We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.