Bachelor Happy Hour - It's Time to Put You First | Golden Hour

Episode Date: June 14, 2024

Today on Golden Hour, Kathy and Susan are diving into your Friday Fan Questions! We kick off today's episode with our question of the day: can you ever date someone that both you and your best friend are interested in? Then, we get into some of your questions, including some very deep topics – listener discretion is advised.  Sometimes you need to leave what no longer serves you, and Kathy and Susan are here to help! Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode of Spolitics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents. and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics

on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing,

where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. No such thing.

This podcast episode discusses sensitive topics, including the loss of an infant. Listener discretion is advised. Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden News. hour. We're so happy to be back with y'all. Thanks for joining us. And if you haven't heard Wednesday's episode, make sure to check it out. You won't believe it. We had Daisy on with us. And we had such a great time and a great chat. I mean, is she amazing, Susan, the glow, the happiness, talking about her dating life. She is in the best possible place. And she deserves every minute of it for what she's been through but to have such a positive attitude and did you hear or say it's all about

leaning on the loved ones the ones that love you the most how she got through it did you i was absolutely going to say the same thing she talked about how close she is with her family and how happy they are that she's dating and she said she didn't talk to them that much in high school but now she's so close to them i love that i want to call my daughter and say hey and what what she went through I think what I heard her say was she was harder on herself than anyone else would have been. I'm sure she was torn and confused and sick and she just thought. Yeah, I mean, she mentioned about her illness. She had Lyme disease.

She was in treatment in Germany. I mean, there were days she couldn't get up out of bed and look at her now. She was saying she had seizures and sick and it was amazing. And look, God, I'm telling you. Yeah. And she is 25 from where we sit. You know, her whole life is ahead of her. Absolutely.

And she's just, she really is a beautiful person inside it out. She's so positive. And I just, I loved having her as a guest. And let me tell you, Thor, I know you're listening. I'm glad you reached back out to that beautiful young lady. I mean, how smart is he? He waits until she gets everything fixed in her life moving forward. And Bing, I think I'll reach out to that little.

college sweetheart of money that's one smart guy right there i love it she is so sweet and it was great everybody just check it out you'll really enjoy her and beautiful too i mean it's just so unfair really gorgeous inside and out all right well we were 25 once kathy we were 25 once susan i did not look like daisy i'm putting it out there i did not sound like daisy i mean she's so mature she's she's been through a lot she's been through a lot she's been through a lot and you know what people it is it is a lesson for everybody look what she's been through whatever you're going through you can get up and make a positive life i think that's the message from daisy okay well today we're doing another listener right in episode and we have some great questions to get

into but first susan do you want to kick us off with the question of the day you got it now the question of the day, is it ever okay to date a guy that you and your best friend really, really like? Ooh. Okay, Susan, let's think about it. You and I are really good friends. Okay, yep. We both like the same guy. That's a good.

Well, here's the thing. The guy, theoretically, he only wants one of us, right? Well, in that case, I win. You're out. So, okay, I'm good. No, seriously, what do you think? I don't know. That would suck.

I mean, some might say that neither one of you date him, but that's stupid. You know what? I'm really being honest. I think if you and I like the same guy, let's call him John, and John made it clearly wanted to date you, I would get good with it, because I'd want you to be happy. I would do, I would want you to be happy. But I probably initially would be scarce when you two were together. And I probably would say something to you.

Like, Kathy, are you going to be mad? Like, you know, I really like them. I said, I wouldn't ask you that. I would say, I hope you're not mad. Because what if I said, I am going to be mad, Susan. You can't date him. Oh, God. Then then that goes in the friendships.

Yeah, yeah, that's a tough one. Listen, do not ask a question that you don't want the answer to or you know the answer to. That's another little, little. All right, we have some anonymous questions today. You want to start, Ken? All right, here we go. Okay, so here's our first listener question, and it's an anonymous question. And, you know, Susan, when we do our questions and we answer our fans, usually it's sort of lighthearted and we make. fun and we have enjoy and we try to get some good advice but this one is a really hard tough questions so listeners out there if if listening to hard questions and hard really hard topics is tough you might just want to fast forward a few minutes till we get through this one you see one one

us upset anybody right okay here we go hi kathy and susan i am struggling very much and hoping the two of you can help me. I've been married for over 30 years. The first half was incredible. The last 15 years had been bad. My husband and I were best friends and lovers. We lost our baby 15 years ago. It was an unexpected tragedy. I became horribly depressed. He was not there for me. He became verbally and emotionally abusive and turned into an angry controlling person. The stress from everything affected my mental and physical health. I've been wanting to leave my marriage for the past 10 years. I have been too afraid to do so. I cannot talk to my husband because it only makes it worse for me when I've tried to point out his behavior. I finally did tell him a few months ago that he's

causing damage and I'm considering leaving him. He has now changed back into a sweet, kind husband, but I feel so disconnected from him. I love him, but haven't been in love with him for 10 years. I'm afraid of him. I don't want to do anything romantic or sexual with him. I am carrying so much guilt about potentially leaving him, and I feel he will be heartbroken and alone forever. He is not social.

I don't want to go to any more marriage counseling together. It always turns into arguments when we did. I'm also struggling about leaving him because I've been with him for so long and there's some attachment still there. I would feel relieved if he were the one who initiated divorce. I am so conflicted.

My health continues to decline. I don't want to get sicker, but I'm scared. I am putting his feelings ahead of mine. The memories of when we were good and also seen signs of how he used. used to treat me now, make it so hard for me to hurt him. The guilt is so bad that I feel like it's my fault if I end the marriage, even though he was the one who has been abusive to me. I'm too scared to even have this talk with him. I don't know how to proceed. Please, can you

help me? Thank you. Wow. Oh, God. That's a lot to unpack. Holy moly. I mean, I know you can't go backwards but I wish I wish you didn't let 10 years go you got to speak up 15 it's just so and he became an ugly person and you never addressed it for all that time so neither one of us are therapists no or counselors but there's so many comments that this woman says that tell me a lot lot. She's scared. She has guilt. She's sick. She's sick. She's physically sick. She's getting sicker. I think, first of all, how about him turning back into the nice guy when she did say it? I don't even know what to say about that. I just think that she's in a position now where you need to go. I don't know your name, but you need to go out. And you need to get counseling for yourself because you are in a spot where you are frozen.

You don't know what to do. And it's so clear that you don't know what to do. And you're scared and I don't blame you. Abuse is a horrible, horrible thing. I would very much encourage you to start by going out yourself. You don't need to tell your husband. By the way, I'm also extremely sorry for the loss of your baby. I can't even imagine.

But I do think, go ahead. She should. I agree with you. Go get some help for herself and talk it out with somebody. Yeah. Not just her physical illness, but where her head space is right now. And she's falling out of love with him. She'll always love him. But she's not in love with him anymore.

But are you better off now that he's reverted back to the nice guy that you married? This is a really, really tough one. Yeah. But she's miserable in it, it sounds like. And you should not be miserable. You've got to do what makes you happy right now. Well, I don't think she knows to make her happy, Susan. Unfortunately, if it means hurting him, you've got to think about you.

If you're not 100% with yourself, then you're never going to be any good to anybody else. Yeah. I think the first thing, you have to break this down into tiny little. bits tiny little tiny little bits that you can handle i was reading a book um actually yesterday afternoon right before i read this question and i'm quoting from this book paraphrasing but it says when we come to terms with the behavior we have developed over time that limit our happiness or our well-being we realize we need to intentionally build new habits and make change redirect your energy, it will be uncomfortable and scary at first.

And when I read that, I thought of you, Anonymous, I thought it is scary. You are uncomfortable, but you have to redirect your energy. And the best way I can suggest to you not being a therapist is get yourself to a therapist and work it out minute by minute and find out what the best course of action for you is. because you know what you can't go on another 15 years this way absolutely not absolutely not I am so sorry you're going through this so am I so am I God bless you so sorry and thank you for sharing it with us and we wish you all the best if there's anything else you want to talk to us about we're here for you yeah let us know you know but really get get to a therapist get some helps

get some help it'll change your life all righty well that was a tough one Kathy Sure was. How grateful, how grateful are we for our lives? God bless, I know. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other. But I just want her gone. Now hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jemail Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid

conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing.

Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you You get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Shirley asks, hi, Kathy and Susan, love your podcast so much.

My question is about how much a boyfriend should pay for things in a relationship. I've been dating my current boyfriend for about a year and a half. Things are really great between us. The only thing is he never pays for things. Never really thought about it until my friend. started getting into the relationships. Every time I'm around my friends and their boyfriends, relationships ranging from four months to a year, their boyfriends pay for them. I've seen my friends try to pay and each of their boyfriends in their own way declined kindly. One time,

my friend and I went on a double date and when her boyfriend asked my boyfriend if he wanted to split it, meaning the guy split the bill, my boyfriend said, yeah, works for me. Turned to and asked, and I'll just Venmo request you. Oh, my God. My friend and her boyfriend weren't paying attention when he asked me that, but I still felt so embarrassed. I never thought about it until I started seeing how my friend's boyfriends are. I know playing comparison is never good, but it just made me aware of the situation, and now I can't stop thinking about it. My boyfriend hasn't paid for something for me since our first date. My friends have never said anything to me, so I don't know if they even notice. I feel too embarrassed to ask them about it. What do I do?

It does kind of make me feel bummed that he didn't do this for me. He has a great job, so I know it's not a financial issue. I have no idea how to even bring this up or if I even want to. You absolutely want to bring it up. Are you kidding me? Shirley, I'm calling bullshit. You didn't notice that he never paid for you. Come on, Shirley. I take boyfriends out when I treat it sometimes, but not every single time.

And then for him to say, I'll Venmo request you. And you sleep with him and get the freak out of my life. I can't. I just can't with this guy. Okay. Shirley. surely you know better surely you do

surely you do listen you say that you don't know how much a boyfriend should pay for things in the relationship surely

he's not paying for anything how much let's try anything he has a paid for thing what do you think your life is going to be like with this man yeah I mean

I'm just not buying the Susan I'm calling this girl you are either so not self-aware of what is customary in a relationship, which is scary, and you have no idea how to bring it up? Shirley, I'm going to tell you how to bring it up. Hey, Joe, I'm sick of pain for everything.

Your turn. There you go. I'm honest and direct. I'm done for the next year and a half. Yeah, exactly. And he's got a good job, and you know that. I think maybe there's something else going on here, Shirley. Now I've kind of made jokes, but now I'm being serious.

No, he's cheap. Is she that desperate for a relationship? Yeah, that's sad. I don't know. Really. If you're embarrassed and don't even want to tell your friends, that's a red flag. She's been digging him for a year and a half. Red flag.

That is a crimson, bleeding red flag. She said she's been dating for a year and a half. Don't look back. Just run. Please run. Do not walk to the nearest exit. that's for you surely okay i think you have another anonymous one cath i hope this one isn't heavy i still can't get past that other one oh it's breaking my heart okay all right this is an anonymous

question hey ladies i want to say first off i love in caps i love your podcast thank you thank you i'm 21 years old and i don't have parents anymore so i rely on your podcast a lot when i feel lonely or need motherly advice. Aw. We're here for you. I'm coming to you both with a question I haven't confided in anyone about, barely even admitted to thinking these things to myself. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two years.

For the first year and a half, we were obsessed, that's also in caps, with each other. Kissing all the time, sleepovers, never leaving each other's side. It was nauseating for singles, but in the past few months, I found myself thinking about other men, like my friends that are attractive or sometimes just random men I see online. I would never, ever cheat or act on these thoughts, but they are there. I love my boyfriend, but I can feel the spark slipping away. We're moving in together halfway across the country in three weeks, and I think he's proposing soon after. I'm not ready to say yes, but I know if I say no, it'll be the end.

But I'm also not ready for the end either. I'm just so lost and confused. We just graduated college together. I have no family, and his family has embraced me and taken me in, showing me what family love truly is. What do I do? Thank you so much. What you ladies do reaches more people than you know,

and it helps in more ways than you know, sending all the love from the deep south. I want to cry. I want to take her in my arms and hug her. I want to be her mother. Oh, my goodness. I wish I knew you're no parents. Okay, so, yeah, I'm seeing a red flag, Kat.

I don't know that she's just not sure, but when she said I'm not ready to say yes. Susan, she's 21 years old. She's too young. Yeah, you can't do this. Okay, Anonymous, here's my thought. You have lost so much in your life. We all have family. Our community of family is something so important to us. I can't imagine being 21 and not having at least one parent to help guide me or a sibling. You don't have that. And I can only imagine how. warm and caring his family is to you and that makes you feel part of a family and I get that but but sweetheart here's the thing you're going to have to learn to stand on your own and and embrace that little child that you're you know you're going to have to hug yourself because mom and dad

aren't there to hug you and you're going to have to have good friends that you rely on but don't make a mistake of marrying someone and moving in with someone that you're not ready to do it. It's okay. You know what? Your mom would tell you that. It is okay to say I'm not ready. And guess what? If he tells you it's over because you're not ready to move in with him, you dodged a bullet.

What do you think, Susan? I also want to say it is being upset. with each other and inseparable. That is the beginning of real love is when all that stuff has burned away and you realize that you still care and love. You're not always going to feel that lust. I learned that the hard way. Right. So it might be that she says she'd never, ever cheat on him. So think long and hard. Of course you're going to think other men are attractive or think about another guy here and there. That's all part of being 21 and being alive. There's nothing wrong with that. So really sit down with yourself and ask yourself, is he the right

one for me? And you know what? Susan, she probably doesn't know because she's young. You just graduated college together. Maybe you guys both need to grow a little on your own. It's that old saying that you probably haven't heard, but you hold a butterfly in your hand. And if you hold it tightly and it can't get free, all it wants to do is get free. Open your hand. Fly, girlfriend. Fly. Build a life for yourself and see what you want to do with your life. That's the only way you can be a good partner to someone else. And I don't think you're there yet, sweetie. You're not quite there. I think you'll always care about him. Maybe he was your first love and his family. Maybe. Maybe. just say I'm not quite ready yet because if he is the one and it is meant to be you will get back

with him. Yeah. Do you remember your first love, Susan? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I'm guessing this is probably her first love because they met in college. And I remember my first love and I'll never forget him. But you know what? Anonymous, he wasn't the right guy for me to spend the rest of my life with. I, we want to be your mom. Please reach out to us again. And tell us. the love coming from our hearts feel our arms wrapped around you honey and just know you're going to meet people in your life that you don't have your parents but you're going to meet people in your life that will be that surrogate for you that will help you through the tough times and i'm just glad susan and i can be that for you today yeah but just don't ever i'm sorry kathie don't ever be

afraid to say no absolutely don't ever be true to your And if you are not ready to get married and not ready to say yes, then pause. Yes. And Anonymous, when you say I would never act on these thoughts, now is the time to act on those thoughts. You're 21. You're 21. And I know right now you feel growing up and I bet you've had to grow up really quickly

because you lost your parents. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. I came from a divorce family and I had to grow up pretty quickly too. but take the time you'll be glad in the end that you take the time to figure out who you are and what you really want in your life and stay tuned with us we'll think about you a lot trust me and i hope we hear from you when you make your decision and we'll be here for you the whole time and by the way i lived in the deep south so y'all take care y'all come back real soon you hear

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly And now I'm seriously suspicious Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast So we'll find out soon This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her Now he's insisting we get to know each other

But I just want her gone Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not?

To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Jamil Hill, host of the Sports and Politics. And on the latest episode of politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives, and that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents, and there's life after Congress.

And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Anya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew. Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD and want to hear people

with mental illness, psychobabble, then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. All righty. Listener. Question number four, Jordan says, hi ladies. I'm loving your podcast. So I have a close friend who's become like a big sister to me. She is one of the sweetest, most caring people I've ever known. We met through work and just really hit it off. About a year ago, she confided to me that she's been struggling in her marriage. I wasn't too surprised by hearing this. as I had noticed some red flags between her and her husband, pretty much from the first time I met him. A few months later, an incident occurred on a group vacation we all took. A situation got completely blown out of proportion, and I had to witness my friend be aggressively belittled by him in front of all our friends.

It was horrible. I've tried to stay out of their business and just be a supportive friend. But it is so hard to stay quiet when you see someone you care about suffering. Recently, I learned that he had accused me of trying to break them up to some of his friends. I was so surprised by it as the only thing I can think of is that he feels threatened and jealous over my close connection with her. I'm a big personality like you ladies. And I don't let weak, insecure men intimidate me. for you. But I just don't want this to get in the way of the sisterhood of the sisterhood

my friend and I have built. How can I be supportive and a shoulder for her to lean on without causing more issues? Help. Well, first of all, my hat's to you that you stood quiet while he belittled her. No, no, no, no, no. I would have opened my mouth right then and there. You care about this woman. She is your friend. You be there for her. I know you don't want to meddle in other people's marriages and business. I get that. But who cares what he says? He's treating her wrongly, disrespectfully, and you're her friend. Talk to her and stand up for her. How about you, I sort of agree with you. I have learned over the years the only behavior I can change is my own. This girl, Jordan, who's friends with this other woman, Jordan, you can only control your behavior.

Your friend is confided in you. All you can do is encourage her to get some help. That's all you. can do you can't fight her battle for her because what's going to happen is he is going to say I don't want you around her your friend sounds like she's afraid she's afraid I mean again we only have what is written here Jordan so if I'm misreading it I apologize but it sounds like she's miserably unhappy but I'm not hearing that she's gone to counseling or that she said to you she wants to leave him so as a friend you just have to be there for her yeah in her time when she's ready she will leave him or jordan she may choose to live a miserable unhappy life with him and yep you're going to have to stand by and watch it and be the supportive friend that you are

kathy say it was me and my husband and we're all way together and he belittled me and embarrassed me front of all of you. You wouldn't say anything? Not in front of all of them. I would put my arms around you later and say, Susan, I am here for you. I love you. You're my best friend. What can I do to help you? What do you need from me? But I would not, I would not do it in public, no. That's a tough one. That's a tough one. But I take belittling. Uh-uh. You have so much respect for yourself. But, but Susan, Jordan. You don't allow that. Yeah, but, Jordan is a strong personality like we are. I don't think her friend is.

She said she's sweet, one of the most caring people. She may not have a strong enough personality to fight her battle, but guess what? Yes, be there for her. She's going to have to learn. She's going to have to get strong. Jordan, your friend is going to have to get strong if she doesn't like the life she's living. Okay. Wow.

These were some pretty intense questions today. You're not kidding. And honestly, Susan and I are hoping for the. the best for all of you. We're almost out of time. But before we go, we have to end on a little bit of a lighter note. So we're going to play a game. Well, maybe a lighter note. We'll see. Susan, how about a game of moral quandary? Yeah, let's do it. We're going to switch off, reading a dilemma, and each one give our thoughts, okay? Okay. All right, I'll start. You've started dating someone new, and things are going great. One day, you scroll back on their

Instagram and notice they have to grab again i know instagram it's going to be the death of us all all right one day you scroll back on their instagram and notice they have all of their pictures with their ex still up do you bring it up or do you let it slide if we don't agree on this one susan our friendship's over uh well i went through this and i had my ex up and he had a fit wait wait wait wait He made me take them all down. The guy I was dating. I was, we. Yeah, but this is the different.

This is the opposite. The guy you're dating has pictures of his ex. Are you going to make him take it down? I don't think I should make him do anything, but I would talk to him about it. How come you still have that up? Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, if we didn't agree, it'd be.

over absolutely bring it up there's you know like you and i talk a lot about social media and social media is fabulous i mean look where we are it's great and there's so many benefits to social media however there's a lot of things that go on on social media that are hateful to other people hurtful to other people whether it's pictures words in this case i'd be thinking You know, if give the guy a diary if he wants to chronicle his life, why would he have pictures up of his ex-girlfriends? But also on the other hand, it could be, now she doesn't say how long she's, but she just started dating someone. Men are not like us all the time. Oh, really?

Wait, minute. Newsflash, wait, Susan Knowles, would you please repeat that? Men are not like us all the time because he might let that slip and not even been aware. of it. So if you do strike a simple conversation, don't have an attitude, don't have, you know, just be real and just say, hey, I notice, that makes me feel kind of weird, you know, something like that. And he might just take them right down and end all. Yeah. I think it's, again, you say it all over and over again, but communicating, again, it's the I statement. You, you, you wouldn't say you this, you that, if it were me in this situation, I would say, Joe, I feel

uncomfortable that I wouldn't say why do you have the pictures up it would be telling my partner you're making me feel uncomfortable it's how I feel Joe I feel uncomfortable and I'm entitled to my feeling so yep okay easy enough all righty your significant other receives a very expensive gift from their co-worker that has always given you a weird feeling do you insist they return it accept it graciously or feel uneasy but say nothing well you'd never make them return it excuse me susan golden rule number one you can only control yourself i agree i agree so because that sounds like she'll be jealous or something if she makes her feel well now that's a different issue isn't it yeah Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. I mean, I'm guessing, I'm guessing this person does not like the coworker, probably has some insecurities around their relationship. Maybe, you know, he says it's my work wife or she says it's my work husband, whatever.

Very expensive. Maybe they have money. That's not, you know, expensive to them. I just think this says a lot about someone when you say, do you insist they return it? You don't get that choice. You don't get that choice. I would feel uneasy but say nothing. No, say something. That's kind of weird. Okay, now you know what I would really do?

Make them take the expensive gift back and buy me a diamond bracelet with it. Do the exchange. Come on. All right. Moving right along. All right. A friend borrows an expensive item and returns it damage. without mention it.

Do you bring it up, let it go to avoid conflict, or subtly hint about the damage to see if they confess? A friend borrows something from me? So you borrow an expensive, I'm sorry, I borrow an expensive watch, something from you. Whatever, from me. And I return it to you and it's damaged. Yes, I bring it up.

I absolutely bring it up. Babe, what happened? What happened to this? That's not how I gave it to you. Let's roll play. What do you mean, Susan? What do you mean what happened? I gave you this and it did not have this defect.

A defect. No, what happened? Did something happen? That's exactly the way it looked when you gave it to me. No, you're mistaken. I don't think so. So where do we go from here? Exactly.

I have to accept it. You're my friend, but I'll think about it. You know what I? You know what I? I'm going to quote the Bible. I don't know if it's true. from the Bible, neither a borrower nor a lender be.

If it is that an expensive an item, shouldn't lend it out. You shouldn't lend it. And if that's going to come between our friendship, I'm not, I'm not lending to. If I give you something to borrow and it gets damaged, Kathy. Very good point. I'm not letting

that expensive watch come between our friendship. No way, Susan. First of all, I'm not a borrower, but I do lend things like crazy, but I do draw a line. Wait a minute. Susan, can I borrow that really expensive watch, please? But I do draw a line. If something means that much to me that something could happen to it, I won't let you borrow it.

That's my point. That's my point. You don't lend something that has that kind of meaning or something that would... That you can't replace. I mean, Susan, you and I, we've borrowed each other's clothes. I've borrowed your jewelry. You've borrowed mine. but I would never if you asked me to borrow for example if you asked to wear my diamond ring that my husband gave you

I would never I'm saying but if you did I would say I can't Susan because of anything ever happened to it yeah he's a piece of me you know that's a no-brainer yeah all right then wow this was a heavy duty day wasn't it Kathy who and that's all the time we have for this episode of golden hour thank you so much everyone for listening, and I hope that you felt as much as we did with all these people. We hope you felt the love. Thank you guys so much. Please be sure to follow the podcast. We have new episodes coming out twice a week, and we know that we have offered you some help and some great thoughts, and we just don't want you to miss even one. And we want those questions to keep on coming. We really love hearing from you, and we're here to help. Just go to

bachelornation.com slash golden hour and submit your questions today. Listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the IHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Have a great week. You'll be seeing us again. Very soon. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her.

Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up, isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, and on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. We continue to say to them,

you were elected to defend your constituents and there's life after Congress. Make sure to listen to this episode of Politics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got to Who do you want to take it all? I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing,

where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

No such thing. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.