Bachelor Happy Hour - Kathy & Susan Ask: Are They the One? | Golden Hour

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan are back to dish out some advice and give us their unfiltered thoughts. First, we kick things off with some Bachelor Nation news: Is Mark Anderson getting married? Then, we get into today’s topic: How can you be sure that you’ve found “the one”? Kathy and Susan dish on their own personal experiences and what signs they look for when making that decision. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Joy 101 with Hoda Kotopje is presented by CVS. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivac and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.

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Welcome back to Golden Hour. I'm Kathy. And I'm Susan. How you doing, Kathy? Oh, fabulous. I've been watching World Cup. I got to go to see a World Cup game over the weekend.

It was fabulous. What have you been up to? Did you get as much rain as we did? Like last night, I had to drain my pool today. There's so much rain. So the game was in Houston, but in Austin, we've been under a flood warning. But in Houston, I was with my daughter, Caitlin. Literally, we ran, literally ran in full close the last mile and a half into the stadium

because it was pouring rain. I was trying. Thank God you're in shape, girlfriend. I would have had to call an Uber. That's what Caitlin said. We were running with all these people. We were there on a promo for another company, and they're like, can your mother run? And Caitlin said, oh, God, Mom.

Just give my mother. Anyway, so life is good. So I'm going to get to see you real soon. We are. I'm very excited. I'm coming to Jersey and then I'm coming to Philly. And we're going to watch out people. You know what's going to happen.

We're going to have our coffee time, videos coming up. And we're going to do a podcast together here. And Susan's going to teach me to cook. And if you believe that, that's so not true. You know what, that is the Bachelor Nation news of the week. Susan's going to teach me to cook, but really we're going to get to it because there's been a big week. Okay, let's talk about Mark Anderson and Barbara Lynn Woods, sparking marriage rumors.

Oh, yes. Find out why the fans are buzzing. They're not sparking rumors. I want to be clear here. It's Barbara's daughter, Natalie, who said hopefully they're getting married soon. And with that, everybody. picked up on it. Everybody's like, you know, like some time ago, I've spoken to Mark and said, is it real? Is it going to happen? There were some fake news out there, and I text them right away.

Tell me, Mark, I want to be the first to know. He goes, I'm not denying it, but it hasn't happened yet. So when he says the word yet, it is in the future. So yeah, but I'll bet you, I'm guessing sometime before this Christmas, they will be engaged. Yeah, yeah, probably. I think. And they're a perfect little couple, aren't they? Yes, I love the, I wish I looked like she does. I think that they're trying to hold back for Joey and Kelsey. I think they're trying to let them have their moment, months, year in the sun, and then they're going to fall.

That's what I think. That's a good thought, actually. What else you got? What else do we have here? Bachelor Nation Fanship Golden Bachelor Star with one of Taylor-Frank's Men. Okay, so first of all, I'm not even sure what ship means when I read that headline. All I know is Carol Freeman, who is from Mel's season of Golden Bachelor. They were all at the game.

Because she is Freddie's, Freddie Freeman's aunt, and she is his, like, whatever. She runs his life. Yeah, personal assistant. And so they were all in the suite at the Dodgers game. And I'm sorry, I'm going out of the limb here. You know why I think they were all there? I don't think they were there to meet Carol. I don't think they were there to watch a Dodgers game.

I think they were there to figure out which one of them is going to be the next Bachelor. I have no insider information, folks. I really don't. Well, what would that have to do with being at the game? I think it was because I think other things went on where they were in L.A. We're just not hearing about it. This is just Kathy's world. I have, you know, if you know something, let us know.

All I know is I'm not, I can't imagine why all of Taylor's guys would be in L.A. for a Dodgers game when they all have lives unless it was potentially something in it for that. What do you think? Do you agree? I kind of agree with that now that you've said it. And she is such a doll. She's at every game. Of course, she's going to be friendly.

And of course, the tabloids are going to go nuts when she hug somebody, you know. Did you see what you have me on there. Every other week I'm getting married. I mean, seriously. No, no, no. Did you see what your buddy Hakeem wrote about Carol? He made a joke about Carol dating Matt Freeman and said, you know, why not? I thought that was hysterical.

Like, okay, Hakeem. So, all right, so moving on. We've got Abigail Herringer shares honest timeline for having kids with Noah Earb. She says, my body is in whiplash. Okay. what do you think about that? So they met on season seven. They live in Oklahoma.

They got married in 2024. She said she wasn't sure about having kids. What do you think of that? You know what? She does want them eventually, but she wants to enjoy the moment. She wants to enjoy her marriage. She wants to just be with him.

They're having a ball. I don't want to use the word ruin it. But when you have, when you bring kids into it. Well, it's a whole different ballgame speaking about baseball. Totally different ball games. Wait, but Susan, you just said it's like kills the marriage, whatever you just said. She used the word mourning, where it's just, and I thought, folks, you know, really, Abigail, here's my thing for you.

You know, if you feel like you're mourning the chapter, you might want to rethink having children. You know, I get it. She said it feels emotionally weird. and she's enjoyed this phase, but they have a plan and place. I'm so on the same page with you. We're on the same. Strike one, ball one, keeping that metaphor going. Cudos.

Cudos to her for being honest and real about it. So many people, Kathy, I think it's time to have children. They have children. They're not ready. If you're not ready today, people are waiting until 40. Yeah. I mean, I was desperately. Eddie. I never looked back. I certainly didn't mourn. I had almost eight years alone with my husband

before we had children. But, you know, that was just circumstance. Well, that's because you were just wet behind the ears when you got married. Very young. He was military moving around a lot. I was finishing my college degree. There were a lot of reasons. But I do hand it up for being honest. I give you Abigail, but I would say to you, not that you're asking my opinion, but I would say wait to have kids until you're eating, breathing, and sleeping, having a child because, boy, once you have them, as Susan said, your marriage does change, relationships change, and children have to become a priority. So I don't know.

And it's a whole new ballgame. I can just tell you that. I like the metaphor. Here's the difference though. When I said you could wait until later until you're older, some people choose to do that. Other people do it young. and then you have a life again when you're 60, they're all grown and raised and out of the house.

Wait, but do you, do we though, Susan? Yes, absolutely. We have our best chapter. You know that. I'm just moving right along. It's not like our kids are out of our lives. Let's be honest. Oh, I'm never out of our lives.

All right. Move on. Let's go. All right. This one is all about how to know if they're the one. How to really know if they're. The one. So let me ask you something. Okay.

Yes. Do you believe the one or just a really good fit at the right time? So we're talking about finding the right person. And if we know they really, okay. Wait, talk about me for a second because I know what you're going to say. I'm not saying a word about you. I've learned. Don't let's see.

Every one of them's the one. Okay. Now that she brought it up, I'm going to confirm to Bachelor Nation that every time Susan, meets a guy, falls in love, he is the one. He's the one until he isn't the one. For me, when I got married, again, I was very young, I believed in the one. I would say now at our age, the one looks different than,

or at least for me, I shouldn't say for you, but now we don't have to worry about raising kids. We don't have to worry about job schedules and making savings and building homes, all the things that you do when you're young. I still think, and I know you're going to agree with this, that you want to feel like that emotional connection when you meet a guy, the chemistry.

But I think you can grow into love when you're older. I think it's just different when you're older. Not for me. I get that intense feeling right away, and this is the one I think every single time. I'm in love with falling in. love, as we all know. I'm just a love person. But the question is, if it doesn't feel so intense, does that mean it's not right? Like a slow, that's who I probably should have focused on that I have

not done yet. So here's, no, but there's hope, Susan. Here's the thing. When you meet someone, I think when you're young, you know, I mean, back in the days of black and white television, when we were young. I think when you met a guy, it was that chemistry that I can't, I have to, you know, I have to kiss him, I have to be with them.

It was that guttural, visceral reaction that you had to see him and talk to them all the time. But I felt like that with everyone that I fell in love with. I'm a little different. Because you only fell in love at one. No, no.

I've had a couple of loves in my life. I have. But I think, like the most recent guy I met, I think here's the thing. you know when I meet a guy, it's like he's got to earn the place. I might be very attracted to him, but unlike you, I don't jump in. I hold back. I still get disappointed if it doesn't work out, but I hold back.

So, you know, I know the relationships take work. I think when you're younger, you think that you find the one and it's just easy. And the white picket fence and a dog and a cat and two kids. and, you know, the whole bit. I think when we're older, we realize that relationships take work. And so maybe a slow burn, if you're attracted to someone, maybe it doesn't have to be that let's just jump into bed kind of feeling. Maybe you ought to try that, Susan.

Are you insinuating? I jump into bed. No, no, no. I meant jumping to love when you're young. I like the butterflies. and if you don't have the butterfly feeling, would you think that's a red flag or a green flag? Well, so I mean, I can only talk about my experiences.

When I meet someone that I like, if I'm around him, if I am relaxed, calm, my sense of humor's there, but I don't feel like I have to put on a show, if you will. If I have that kind of feeling, I get very excited. But butterflies, I think when I've met a guy I'm interested in, I'm so excited to talk with him and find out more about him. That's sort of my butterflies. And so for me, they go hand in hand. If I'm interested in someone, those are my butterflies.

So if I'm not interested, it's not a red flag. It's audio, see you later, goodbye. There's the door. How would you define butterfly? It's like an exciting feeling, right? For me, like when I met the most recent guy who shall go nameless, who is not in my life because it didn't work out after he's the guy that Susan and Nancy told me. I said after 10 days, I saw red flags and Susan Nancy. We were in Palm Springs and Susan and Nancy were both giving me a hard time saying, you're so hard.

Give him a chance. And what did I say? I called the red flags right there 10 days in and who was right two and a half months later. Thank you very much. So what I'm saying is when I'm attracted to someone, that is a green flag. Do I feel butterflies like, you know, fluttery, fluttery like I'm 16 years old? No, but I'm excited. You don't ever get that feeling in your adult age?

I don't know what you mean by butterflies. I get the exciting feeling of, oh my gosh, I've met a guy that I want to get to know better and spend time with. And if that's butterflies, I think we're just arguing over semantics here. What does what a butterflies mean to you? That's butterfly. You just said it. You're excited to see them.

You can't wait. So I have a question for you, Susan. I have a question for you. Have you ever, you know, in any of your relationships, current, past, whatever, have you ever stopped and doubted and said, you know, maybe this is not the right one for me, even though you're attracted? Yes. You have. I definitely have. However.

I didn't do anything about it See, I'm trying not to interrupt Susan But that's what was in my head I was going to say, I know it was I know where you're going With it. Pride Months Toronto, pride is an opportunity for you to create your own space

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In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever. I didn't think I was going to live. I was terrified. There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fear to say this was the biggest case of your career? Yes, sir. Rape a murder for a child. Just as bad as it gets.

I would think so. People, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivac and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grave. Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app.

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the devil's quarry ad free with exclusive content, subscribe to LaVa for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people, like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges. I've gone through breast cancer and it helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult.

There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It is part of it's a excitement because their new star is Javier T. Tarito Hernandez. Everyone sees me as a football player, but before anything else, I'm human. Every single day, I'm still learning how to live with problems, mistakes, relationships, emotions. ever since I was born and I still have so many questions

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Listen to learning to be human on IHard Radio, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This Black Music Month, the Quest Love Show celebrates the artists,

innovators, and cultural voices who continued to redefine music, We're sitting down with a groundbreaking country artist, Mickey Guyton. The way that the country music community accepted Post Malone versus Beyonce versus Shibuzi, like those are very eye-opening things. Hip-hop visionary Fat 5 Freddie, genre-bending musical genius, Thundercat. And the always legendary revolutionary voice, Chuck D.

Yeah, we changed tires, man. I had 18 jobs before this became my occupation. man. Okay. I wrote, I wrote Barmer's show as a messenger. From unforgettable stories to deep conversations about creativity, culture, and legacy. These are the voices shaping the soundtrack of black music past, present, and future. Listen to the Questlove show on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Well, you know, let me ask you something. You know, so for me, you know how I operate. When the doubt is there, 10 days in.

Yeah, pretty much. Although we are sisters and love each other. But when I doubt, when I doubt that usually I'm right, my intuition is very strong. So when you're saying give it a chance, I'm like, I'll give it a chance. But usually I know. You always call it too. It's a little scary, you know. I'm also optimistic all the time.

I know. But I am optimistic. Give it a chance. Give it this. Give it that. You know. Okay. Here's the thing. I am optimistic when I meet someone, but I am a pragmatist. I'm a realist.

When I meet somebody, I look at them and I say, okay, this guy has potential. I'm attracted to him. And then if I start saying, but A, B, and C, then it's out the door. You know who I talk to a lot about this stuff is CK. I talked to him a lot about attraction and red flags. And, you know, he's in our age group. And I mean, the things that, he sees as red flags are all green flags. So, you know, I don't understand the way, the way, you know, the way men operate. That's just a whole other story. For me, Susan, it's not a sign. I think you look for a sign to, well, I don't know when you decide to leave.

I leave when my thoughts and my emotions that I feel when I'm staring down the barrel at him, I'm out. What's your deal? What makes you leave? It takes a long time. Long time. I always try to fix them. I was put here on earth to fix wounded souls, people that didn't feel real love. And I helped a lot of people throughout my life. I really have. Have you helped yourself, though? Have you got what you want? No, I always get excited about being in love, but I almost just said I'm alone. I'm almost alone. Yeah. You know, but to me, I do have doubts.

and I think that's normal, but I don't act on them. Whereas when I compare myself to you, I think if you have that little bit of a doubt, you're done. No, no, no. I want to be clear. When I had a doubt about this guy,

the most recent guy, when you said, give it a chance, what did I say? I said, I'll give a chance. And I stayed in 100%. And when I was in the hospital with pneumonia for five days. And I didn't get a visit.

I didn't get a flower. I didn't get a car. That told me everything. Yeah, he was traveling for a couple days, but you know what? FTD sends flowers. So that was, that was, you know, confirmation that everything I thought that he can't put somebody else, his own life comes first. Once I have that confirmation, I'm out. Do you, Kathy, do you think it's normal to have doubts?

that someone's right for you or not? That's a normal thing, right? I think, again, pragmatic. I think it is smart. You lead with your heart 100% and you've had your heart broken, you've broken hearts. I think maybe this is why I'm single.

I'm waiting for the guy because I love, I love too. It's not that it's right to have doubts. I wish more people would look at the situation. as it is, not how they want it to be. I wish more women and men looked at the opposite sex or whoever they're attracted to and saw the people for who they are, not the person they want them to be. What about like, do you picture a future real early on or does that come later for you?

If I'm really, like with this guy, I really could have, I mean, I could until I couldn't. Talked about it a little bit. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I could see us going down the road because he had so many of the qualities, except for that one that was, you know, harboring in the corner of my head. But do I believe I have a very good friend who I just had dinner with, Susan, she is 53 years old, very good friend of mine. We've known each other 20 years.

She's divorced 12 years. She was always saying to me, I'll never get married again. I just don't understand men. I don't want to have sex. I'm just done with the whole thing. And she's very attractive and very fit. And I said, don't say that because you don't know. Never say never.

Fast forward. Six months ago, she met a guy. They're talking about marriage. It's like, this is what I'm saying. If and when you meet the right guy. Just never know. You never know. So I don't think it's a thing where you should say,

I'm going to have doubts and make him prove you wrong. That's sort of giving a man tests. to see if he can overcome the challenges you give him. I don't believe in setting up tests for men. No. But I do believe in, you know, like this guy that I was dating, he said to me literally, after what, a week or 10 days, you know, you're someone I really could fall in love with.

And I thought to myself, that's pretty quick to be saying that in my head. Well, it was in a moment. It was in a moment. But, yes. But here's the thing. When someone says that to you and then behaves differently, that's how you know if they're the one or not the one, that's a red flag. What do you mean differently?

I'll tell you, don't listen to what a guy says or a woman, depending wherever you are. Just watch what they do. They will, you will see the real. If you just keep your eyes open and in my case, your mouth shut, you will see the real guy. And once he shows you who he is, please believe him. Don't try to make a guy something he's not. And then the other one was like, should your lives align? Like, yes and no.

We both have to have different things. I mean, how boring would it be if you did the exact same things? But the lifestyle itself, there's, you should be common things that you enjoy, that each other. I 100% agree. I think you want to have, like you and I, you and I, We both play golf. We'd like to find a guy who plays golf or pickleball or hike or, yeah, patience. But you know what I'm saying?

But that doesn't mean I would lose my mind or what's left of it if I had to spend 24-7, frankly, with anyone. Maybe the exception to you, Susan, I could hang with you. That's because I'll just holler at you. That's right, you'll holler. But I'm saying I think it's a mix. I think, I don't think the one, if I could find the one, it wouldn't be that he has all the same interests as I have. It wouldn't be that we spend 24-7 together.

But I do think you have to have morals in common, values in common. Otherwise, you know, you're just, you're going to be parallel lines. There's not going to be a whole lot of intersection there. It takes time to learn somebody. Yeah. All right. Well, since you and I are spending a lot of time learning, we're also spending a lot of time listening. to our listeners.

We're going to give some expert, fabulous golden advice today. Susan, go ahead. Get with the first one here. The first one here is from Maddie, from St. Louis. I've been seeing a guy who is amazing in so many ways,

but he has a very close relationship with his ex. They text pretty regularly, follow each other on everything, and even grab coffee occasionally. He's been up front about, it, which I appreciate, but it still makes me feel uneasy. I don't want to come across as insecure, but I also don't know if I can fully relax in the relationship. Is this something I need to

accept, or is it fair to set boundaries around it? You know, can I say what I was thinking as I was I was reading this? I'm sure people would feel that way about me and my ex. We text each other. He'd come Dickie, I'm not home. Could you go check the mail? Like, we don't have coffee together, but we go visit our grandchildren together. I think that is very, very. Let me sum this up for me very quickly. You and Dicky, and I've met your ex-husband, he's a super nice guy. You guys work so well together regarding your children and your grandchildren.

That is a very different experience than a, Maddie who's dating a guy who they don't share, the ex doesn't share children with this guy. He's just, it doesn't say that though. It doesn't say that they do. I'm going with they don't have children. And here's what I would say.

Maddie, it is a huge red flag. You know why? Your boyfriend, my may well be amazing. And if he's that amazing, I bet everybody wants to be his friend. So tell him to go find some new friends and get X out, the ex. And I mean, to me, that's a red flag. And there's no two ways about it. Me, I would actually ask him, why did they divorce, number one? Like, it doesn't say they were divorced. Very good friends, his ex.

It X can be an ex-boyfriend. Doesn't be an ex-husband necessarily. Come on, Susan, get with the 21st century here. And ex-boyfriend. To me, it's an, okay, that's different then. Yes, that's, I'm assuming it. But you're right. If it's an ex-husband, maybe, okay. I would have a conversation about it. say, I don't want to sound insecure because I'm not. You're with the right person right now. But if you have something, there's still a spark on either side, does she have a boyfriend? The ex, does she have a boyfriend? And they're just friends.

I believe some people can be just friends. And I'm saying the person I'm going to be with is unless they share children together, there is no reason. That does help, yeah. There's no reason to talk to your ex. So Maddie, if he's not, if his ex is not his ex-wife and they don't share children or grandchildren, tell him to hit the road. Go find yourself another awesome guy. An IR Radio Experience.

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There was no anything inside those eyes. They turned black. It scared the hell out of me. That was your first murder case? Yes, sir. Fear to say this was the biggest case of your career? Yes, sir. Rape a murder for a child.

This is bad as he gets. I would think so. Evil, wake up. I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Crevent and DePippo. Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse, appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum. I said I'm not guilty. I'll take it to the grief.

Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And to hear the devil's quarry, ad-free with exclusive content. Subscribe to Love for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Hey, I'm Hoda Kotby, host of the podcast, Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby. Together, we're going to have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people. Like when actress Olivia Munn shared how she overcame fierce health challenges.

I've gone through breast cancer and then helped my mother through breast cancer, and that was more difficult. There's a lot of people who understand postpartner depression. I was not prepared for postpartum anxiety. Listen to Joy 101 with Hoda Kotby on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Because their new star is Javier Tichorito Hernandez. Everyone sees me as a football player, but before anything else, I'm human. Every single day I'm still learning how to live with problems, mistakes, relationships, emotions, ever since I was born. And I still have so many questions.

Where do we come from? What happens after death? How do you deal with cancellation? Cristiano or Messi. Do aliens exist? What is love? Real Madrid or Barza. From every day and ordinary to the deep and extraordinary.

This isn't a normal podcast. Everything here is spontaneous, real and genuine. This podcast is like a deep talk with your closest friends. Where vulnerability comes out. Conspiracy theories end up on the table and goals and lessons are shown. All in this life has an order perfect and all is just. Wait me. I'm going to pressur me, but me will be going to be able to connect.

The Chicharito. I'm Javier and Chariot-O-Nandes, and together with Aihar Radio, we're going to make the ordinary, extraordinary. Stay close. It is a carac. Wow. Listen to learning to be human on AHA Radio, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you get your podcast. This Black Music Month, the Quest Love Show celebrates the artists, innovators,

and cultural voices who continue to redefine music. We're sitting down with a groundbreaking country artist, Mickey Guy. The way that the country music community accepted, Post Malone versus Beyonce versus Shibuzi those are very eye-opening things.

Hip-hop visionary, Fat-Fi Freddy, genre-bending musical genius Thundercat, and the always-legendary revolutionary voice. Chuck D. Yeah, we changed tires, man. I had 18 jobs before this became my occupation, man. I wrote Barmerst's show as a messenger.

From unforgettable stories to deep conversations about creativity, culture, and legacy. These are the voices shaping the soundtrack of black music past, present and future. Listen to the Questlove show

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Okay, the next one is she says, is it fair? Okay. Is it fair?

Boundaries. All fair and love. Boundaries is being insecure. You know what I mean? Like, you can't text her anymore. Like, you can't do that. It's one or the other. Excuse me.

Have the conversation, Maddie. Setting boundaries is not insecure. Setting boundaries is a very secure person who sets boundaries. She's using the wrong word here. It's called kicking to the curb. It's not setting boundaries. It's not like, yes, Maddie says to her boyfriend. Seriously, what is wrong with those still communicating?

You know what? I don't have any interest in dating a guy who's having coffee with his ex. unless they're talking about children and grandchildren. I'm moving along to the next one. Fair enough. Moving on. And this is from Kiki, which is my grandmother, Nickin. So I would love this question. Kiki's from New York.

Oh, I wish this were me. I recently started dating someone who is genuinely so thoughtful. He plans dates, remembers small details. Huh, I bet she got flowers when she was in the hospital with pneumonia. Moving on, Katz. And makes me feel really cared for her. But physically, I'm just not as attracted to him. him as I hoped I would be. I keep telling myself attraction can grow, but I'm worried I'm leading

him on. How do you know if it's something worth building or if it's just not there? Okay, I've got the answer for this one. It depends how old you are, Kiki. If you are a young spring thing and you don't want to jump his bones and you've been dating for a while, you're just, as they say in the movie, you're just not that into him or whatever the expression is. If you're our age, or let's talk from one Kiki to another, if you can build in, I believe you can build into romance. Yes, I feel a physical attraction to a guy if I'm interested in him, but that doesn't mean that it can't grow. I think for different people, it's different. You say you recently started dating them.

I mean, if it was a week ago, give yourself a break. If it's been three months and you're not feeling it, you're probably not there. What do you think, Susan? For me, attraction is huge. It really is. But at 69 years old, I do realize if I get to meet somebody that I'm not head over heels attracted to, can't wait to jump his bones or kiss them or whatever, I would give him grace and see how he treats me.

Like she's saying he does everything right? I've never done that before. I will say the other thing, though, Kiki. Give it a minute. Give it a minute. But I will also say, you know me, I trust intuition. And when Kiki says, I'm worried I'm leading him on, you know what, Susan? She's probably not that into him.

And she is leading him on. But because he's so kind and nice and generous, she doesn't want to throw him back into the wild. And I get it because there aren't that many good men out there. Or at least they're not, you know, hanging around my neighborhood. So let us know, Kiki. She's not telling us exactly how long it's been. Yeah. I think time matters.

If it's been more than a few months and you're not. feeling any sexual chemistry, probably not a good sign. Because you need that. That is important. All right. So this one is from Carrie from Louisville. Louisville, Louisville. That's how you said in Kentucky, Louisville, Louisville, Kentucky. There you go. I met someone at a friend's birthday party and we had insane chemistry right away. There you go, Susan. We've now been seeing each other for a few weeks, but I recently found out he got out of a long-term relationship only two months ago. He says he's completely over it, but he still brings her up in little ways.

I really like him, but I don't want to be someone's rebound. How do I tell the difference between someone who's ready to move on versus someone who just wants to be? That is a tough one because you feel like the chemistry's there. this is perfect and quite possibly he is over the other one i'm with you i want to know in what little ways she he brings her up if they're lying in bed and and and he says to her you know susy cue my ex-girlfriend used to sleep on the other side of the bed that's probably not a good side you know i want to know what little ways or you know susy puts the sets the table this way like it depends what it is but yes in general i don't think it's a good sign

But Kathy, also, if he's been in a long-term relationship and it's only two months, it's habit as well, don't you think? I don't know. The only time this happened to me, Susan, was I think I've told this story on the podcast before I was dating a guy. I had a date with a guy. And we sat down in all he, his wife had been deceased two years. All he did was talk about his ex-wife in big ways and little ways. And so as the dinner went on, I, of course, started playing a game. How many times could I get him to say his wife's,

his deceased wife's name. I won that game. Oh, hell yeah, I won. Oh, I got a prize man. He left him. I got a martini. It was great. But I don't know.

I think that's one of those things. You've got to wait and see if you really like him, like Susan said, give him some grace, see what it is. And, you know, eventually if you feel comfortable enough, you could bring it up to him and say, you know, I think we have a great relationship. Are you sure you're ready for us? Yeah. Well, no, I would do it more positively.

for me, I would say, you know, Joe, I really like you a lot. I think we have a great relationship. But, you know, I'm concerned you keep bringing up Susie Q. Can you talk to me a little bit about see what his answer is? Whatever. Okay, everybody, you heard us. You heard us. Our advice, you know what to do.

Submit your burning questions to us by going to bachelornation.com slash golden hour. Come back every week and see if it's one of your questions. answered. And we'll see if Susan and I agree, which really happens. But all right, today we are going to do the gal Googles it again. It's where we break down slang words that people are using in dating and pop culture. Okay, you ready for the first one, Susan? All right. It's sneaky link. And this is something I do all the time. It's a secret hook. I'm kidding, by the way. It's a secret hookup you do not claim publicly. It's basically a booty call. Now, I don't, I mean, when I was growing up, we didn't do this, but do you remember what they called it when you were growing up? Did we even

do that? A booty call. Really? Is that what it was called then? Absolutely a booty call. I mean, I just don't remember. Friend with benefits. I mean, it's, ew. First of all, sneaky, link, it's sneaky. Yes, you don't want anybody to know. It's a one-night stand. It's whatever. Like, no, it's not something you talk about. Do you think it's, would, I mean, I already know the answer for me, and I hope I know your answer. Like, is there anything hot about this for you? Like, do you think it's hot if a guy asked you to have a hookup, a booty call, call it, whatever, a sneaky link? Like, no thank you. Because, well, if I'm going to go to bed with somebody, I'm attracted to them. Therefore, there's a like involved. And then I'll be pissed off if it's

just a beauty call, like, see you. I could never. I would feel used. I tell you, I've had a guy in my lifetime say to me, I really like you, but had there were other extenuating circumstances and said, but I would love to go to bed with you. It's a compliment. Take it for that. Yeah. It's also would be a booty call. And I just realized something.

I did have what they would refer to. I don't know about today's lingo. A friend with benefits for a year and a half. You did? Same person. never saw anybody else either did he but he was incapable of building a future because he was really damaged. Damaged from the relationship.

Yeah. So we saw each other. So that's not, wait, that's not a friend with benefits. If you were dating, you just, he just couldn't commit to a long-term relationship. But that is not. Friends is like, he's going to kill me. I'm friends with C.K. If I had a booty call with CK.

That's a hookup. I love you, CK. But that's not what we're talking about here with your guy. You were dating him. I would never. It's not. Let me say to you in short, no thank you. Yeah.

Okay, this one, wait, you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Fishing. It's like catfishing, but just slightly. Hmm. What is kitten fishing? Are you serious?

Well, it's better. kitten fishing is you know what cat fishing is it's like you put stuff out there you're somebody else no no no no no that's gaslighting cat fishing is when you're trying to attract women and you put you know stuff out there to attract women you're but or men depending you're where you are uh that's called cat fishing but you know you don't really have any intention you're either it's probably not really you that's what catfishing is you know a guy in zimbabwe who's telling you he lives in L.A. and is a movie producer. That's catfishing. You're a great picture from 10 years ago up and you really look like this now.

Or yeah, great. Or somebody else's picture. It's not even what you look like. So it's the reality is not, it's not what you're displaying out there, okay? And for us, it would be really difficult to screw that one up because we're on TV. We're on the internet. We're everywhere. People would know. I mean, I think I will be honest, I have seen. A kitten fishing to me is just a little less severe than cat fishing, right? So I have seen women who I know put up pictures that look marginally better than what they look like in real time. I've also seen women put up pictures like, you've got to be kidding me.

That was you 30 years ago, right? So I think it's just a mild distortion of time. That's what we're talking about here. And you know what? We all do that. Who wouldn't put up their best photo? I don't look my best every single day. Susan, if you take a picture, listen, let me paint the little kitten for you.

I don't kitten fish. I don't fish. No, if you were fishing, oh God, this metaphor, if you were looking for a guy and you put up a picture of you five years ago, you might use a couple of filters and make you here look. That's kitten fishing. Like you're not, I get it. I get it. So, you know what?

And I'm glad I'm old because I don't kitten fish. Okay. So. Sneaky link. But men, let me just tell you, the men across the board. And I don't know if I call this kitten fishing. I call it wrong. I will go out with a man and I'll talk.

I'll say, how tall are you? I would say across the board, 95 to 99% of men. Oh, I'm six feet tall. you meet them on a stretcher, they're 5'10, you know. Is that catfishing? I don't know. I mean, if they've got two legs. That's a blatant lie.

Although people shrink because I know I'm shrinking. Enough of that. You know what? This goes to my so fast, Kathy. I just, I can talk all day. I just, I love that you think kitten fishing is not a thing. Susan, let me just say to you about kitten fishing. When I see you, Susan, next time, are you ready?

I want, I want to put a filter on me. I want you to do my hair. I want you to make me like look just a little better, not like a whole different thing, a little better than what I look. And we're going to put it up. And now I'm kitten fishing. Now I'm kitten fishing.

You don't need a filter. It's when somebody else does you. You always feel better, right? Oh, God. All right, we're going to, on this happy note of kittens, cats, purring, and meowing. That's going to do it for this. episode. That's going to do it for this episode of Bachelor's Golden Hour.

And make sure to rate us, review us, and subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast. And you can follow Golden Hour on social media at Bachelor Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation. Until next time. Meow, meow. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence. Joy 101. It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy,

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Listen to the devil's quarry in the Bone Valley Feed on the Iheart radio app. Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. June is Black Music Month, and on the Drink Champs podcast, we're speaking with the hottest names in the culture, like Sway Lee. Do you realize how legendary you are?

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