Bachelor Happy Hour - Kindness Is Golden | Golden Hour

Episode Date: April 19, 2024

Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan dive into all your dating and relationship write-ins. But first, they discuss Gerry and Theresa’s recent split — and who better to hear from than two of the women closest to the historic Bachelor Nation pair? Then, we answer some of your questions. From preparing for parenthood to grandparenting, Kathy and Susan get into it all! Tune in now to hear this Golden advice and so much more. Be sure to follow so you never miss an episode, and head to BachelorNation.com/GoldenHour to submit your questions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app search emergency intercom and listen now Smokey the Bears Then you know why Smokey tells you

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Only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Forest Service, your state forester, and the ad council. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship.

I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on She Pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroth.

Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, Now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Bachelor, Happy Hour's Golden Hour. We're back. And thanks for joining us.

We're so glad you're all here with us. We've been having so much fun doing this podcast, haven't we, Cap? Oh, blast. And the best part is that the question are flooding in. I just love it. We get so excited to listen and then read them all and get to talk about it. It's really super, we love that. We're going to get into some of those in just a little bit, but first, unless y'all have been living under a rock or at the bottom of the ocean, you've probably seen it in the news that Gary and Teresa have decided to divorce and go their separate ways.

And I thought, Susan, you and I could talk about it a little bit first. So, you know, I want to give you some of my thoughts. I feel that these two did something very different than most people do. They met in public, they dated in public, they got engaged in public, they got married in public, and they're now getting divorced in public. And, you know, I don't know about you, but when I was dating, I did not date, get married, or anything else in front of 11 million people. And I think that is really got to be tough. And so for me, that's the elephant in the room. We all feel like we want to know more. We should know more. They owe us more. But I'm kind of with Ben Higgins on this. Do we really have a right to know more? You know, I don't

think so. I think that what they did had to be so hard publicly. to do it all publicly. And for that, I admire their courage. What about you, Susan? What do you think? Honestly, Kathy, we watched them fall in love. And I cannot deny that that wasn't real. I believe it was real. And they got caught up in a moment. Who are we to judge anybody out there? Who are we to judge? as I made a statement a couple days ago, it's about being kind. Yes, I know the public, everybody was disappointed. We all are. But they have their reasons. And that's their privacy. If it didn't work out, it didn't work out. What my problem is is people that are not kind about it, the things that they're saying. I said, just imagine if it was your daughter or your mother. Would you like to read those things?

Right. You know, Teresa put a statement out saying thank you to all the people that are being kind to her. Gary is away right now, and I don't blame him. He probably needs some closure, you know, just some quiet time. Right. But the things that they're saying about Gary, who are we to know this? You're assuming things.

That's exactly right. And I, again, I think it's difficult because we lived this romance with them. But they deserve the respect and the. peace to try to heal. And I know when you and I've talked about at the wedding, I mean, we were sitting there crying watching them and we were just so happy. And quite honestly, you and I both were envious that they had fallen in love. And, you know, I don't know, people can't see, but I have a sweater on that says, say, lavi, and that's life. You know, this is life and it's not always pretty. And it's not always, it doesn't always. It doesn't

always end the way we wanted to. We all believe in fairy tales. We all believe in, you know, Cinderella and all of those things. But life is not always a fairy tale. It definitely isn't. And I think they went in the moment with the way they were feeling. And it was a big TV wedding. It was the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to. And some things just didn't work out. So I think everybody give them a break. Yeah. Let them live their lives. Yeah. And move on from this. And let's just wish them well. Not too much time from now. We're going to be hearing about a golden bachelorette, so we get to do it all over again.

And I hope everybody out there is excited about this show coming as we are. Because Susan, we still, we've talked about this. We believe in the show. We believe in finding love. And okay, it didn't work out this time. But, you know, hopefully the next time it will. and hopefully you and I will still find love, which actually brings us to the topic of the day. So we've, yep, here we go.

Okay. We've talked a lot about wanting to find someone to spend the rest of our lives with, but as we get older, it's not always easy. In what ways do you think it's harder to find love in your golden years? I think because we know exactly what it is that we need and want. in our lives, and we're not settling and having to go through. At this stage of the game, you don't have time to iron out the little things. You know what you need and what you like, and vice versa.

Would they know what they want? And if you meet a match, which I hope we do. I totally agree with you. I think, I mean, we just lived it with Gary and Teresa. You know, we don't know all their reasons, but one of their reasons is one that I would have. You and I, Gary and Teresa, have families. They have grandchildren and children. And it's not easy to pick up and say, yeah, to leave your friends and your family and your support

system. So I think for me, that's one reason that it's harder to find love in the golden years. Do you think you should have that conversation, although they did have that conversation, but seriously, where do you live, where do you want to live? That's something that you should talk about. out. Right. And I do think that it's one of those things, you know, I might be willing to spend six months on the beach in Malibu. I think I'd be willing to do that. I think I can do that. And six months in Austin, Texas. I think I could buy into that. But not everybody is willing to do

that. And so I think that's the biggest issue for me, but I think you hit on another really important one, which is we're not going to settle. We have raised our families. We have. We have. have had our careers and we know what we want and we're going to get it or you and I are going to spend a lot of time together Susan. Well, just like we talk about on other episodes, didn't we discuss the fact that it's not what we used to look for? We look for something totally different when you get to this age. That's right. You know, your best friend, somebody, like you said, you don't want a used to guy, you know, and somebody that you want to do things with. Susan, I'm going to put that on my tombstone.

I died without a used to guy. I don't want a tombstone. Thank you very much. Well, you know, whatever. Ashes to ashes. Okay, when the fish are eating me, they're going to be. That's what's going to be. I'm Jamil Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics.

And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party. What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. And that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump. is gone in three and a half years.

But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented assault on America as we know it will be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love, crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness psychobabble yes yes then emergency intercom is the podcast for you open your free iHeart radio app search emergency intercom and listen now my name is ed everyone say hello ed from a very rural background myself my dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin so like It's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke,

but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then... He came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So we do have some great questions today. Oh, let's get into it. Okay. Question number one. One, Victoria says, first of all, ladies, I love y'all's show. Thank you. It has been so good to hear from you guys each week. My question is not about love specifically. I hope that is okay. Okay. I am graduating from medical school shortly and will be starting a new job soon. I am recently engaged in planning a wedding. Wow, that's a lot. I used to be so gung-ho about my career.

path that I have chosen. However, since meeting my fiance and talking with him about having kids, I have a newfound desire to be a stay-at-home mom, or at least work only part-time. I worry I would feel guilty throwing away my education. And like I took a spot from someone else who wouldn't have decided to stay home, my fiancee is well aware of my desires, but I wanted to see what you guys opinions of the situation. Again, I love the show. Wow. Wow, Victoria, that's a lot. Okay, I feel like she's in a moment right now. I'm hoping that she digest and breathes and don't waste your career. Well, I have a little, I have a little bit different take on it. I think obviously medical school is a lot of years and residency in the whole nine yards. But what I struck me on this question is exactly what you just said. She's putting sort of the cart before

the horse. She's not married yet. She doesn't have children yet. Get into your career. There's lots, right, there's lots of options open to you, Victoria. You're not, you're not throwing away your education. Doctors can work part-time. You might find a great nanny. I think you're probably feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Well, like she's in that moment. She's excited. she wants to have a baby and I think you can do it all I really do well I'm hoping just selfishly that she's majoring in geriatrics and and she can become my my concierge doctor but I hope her I hope her parents didn't pay for this education because they're the ones that are going to say how dare you although they want a grandbaby too I get it but yeah but do you have a problem today I really believe

that do you I mean would you have a problem if your daughter said to you hey mom, I'm getting married. I want a family. I'm going to be a part-time doctor or, you know, a doctor that takes calls on weekends. I mean, it wouldn't bother me in the least. No, no, but I wouldn't want her to throw it all the way and just be a stay-at-home mom. I wouldn't either, but I think, I think you're right. I think she's in a moment. And I think, so Victoria, take a breath. Just breathe. Take a breath and visit it again after you finish school and, and congratulations on your wedding. Absolutely. And I believe you can do it all, honey. You can. We are women. We are powerful. And we are strong. Let us know how you make out. All right. And number, I want to get to question number two,

because it is so interesting for me. Alan writes, I believe my college age grandson may be gay. I have no problem with this, but he has yet to discuss it with me. Should I ask or just wait? Can I take this one first? Sure, go right ahead. So as many of you may know, some of you may not know, my oldest son is gay, and I suspected he was gay at a relatively young age, so did his dad. But we waited until he came to us. And I think, just like many things in people's lives, it's their story to share.

it's their life and if they're comfortable sharing it they will and so Alan if your grandson he may feel like you know you're of the older generation and you won't understand just give him a little bit of time and you know you can draw hints if you want that whatever life you choose I'm your grandmother and I love you and just see what happens but I would wait I think I I would definitely be open. I have some things in my family as well, and I'm very open, and he knows how comfortable we all are, no matter what decision they make. So if you could just be positive and let that out without saying,

are you or are you not? That I mean, that I would not do. But let him know that you're fine with it, just like you said. And I think the most important thing, and I think my son would say this, he knows, you know, he's in his early 40s now, but he knows how much his dad loved him and he knows how much I love him. And that's the important thing here. You know, it usually comes down to love. And there's a lot of families, Kathy, as we all know, that are non-accepting. That's right. And that's the fear. And he may be afraid. People don't come out. People don't come out

until they're comfortable. I mean, I worked with plenty of gay men that said they weren't for years and years, and when he finally came my best friend in the whole white world, Jeremy, and when he came to me and told me, I was like, honey, I know. I've known for four years. And he goes, what? You know, it's funny. That's the same thing when my son finally came out. You know, you didn't, I didn't want to be flippant, but I kind of want to say, I kind of wanted to say, isn't that like yesterday's news? Yeah, like welcome. I'm glad you're okay now because we all know. We all know, and it's okay. And again, as long as you're happy and and a contributing member of society, that's what his father and I care about.

And I love, Alan, that you love your grandson enough to even ask us such a question. Just be open with him and tell them it's okay. Alrighty, we have question number three from Christy from California. And she writes, hi, Kathy and Susan. I, in my late 50s, and I have a chronic medical condition that now slows me down. I'm sorry. This has kept me from saying yes to dates and pursuing relationships. I feel people don't want to date somebody with a chronic medical condition. I pretty much decided I need to be single the rest of my life. Wow. How do you ladies feel about this? Honestly, I've been feeling

hopeless about ever being in a relationship. I have always been active, but this has truly slowed me. down. Oh. Christy, don't feel like that. Kathy? Yeah, I, Christy, I'm going to share something that Nancy from the show has shared this with both Susan and me, and she's okay to us saying this. So Nancy has diabetes, and she has had it for many years, and it's extremely well managed.

And Nancy told Susan and me one time, about a date that she had. She dated this guy, I think, a few times. And the second date, he told her that he didn't want to see her anymore because she had a chronic health condition and he wanted someone really healthy. Wow. Yeah. And Nancy, as you remember, Susan, she was devastated.

Yes, he was. And I guess my thought on that is, what a jerk. Let's start with that. whoever you are out there for doing that to Nancy you're a jerk shame on you shame on you but I would say that that anything can happen I mean you can find the man of your dreams and he can turn up with cancer next month I mean what does what I don't even know what that means to I hate that she feels helpless and hopeless though I don't like what I think she's asking like when you meet somebody is that the first thing that you tell them

Do you share it immediately? First of all, you have to see if there's a connection, I believe. Right. But before anything gets serious, it's something you should discuss. Yeah, but I mean... You have to give the other person the knowledge of what you are going through. It's not fair to hide something from them. But would you do it on the first date, Susan?

No, not necessarily. I got to see how I feel about them. Yeah, I guess... But having that in the back of your mind is like a burden. and I don't want you to feel you'll never find somebody. Who knows you might find somebody with the same kind of issue? You don't know. Or somebody that's willing and so loving that it doesn't matter.

It's about who you are, not what your disease is. Exactly. And that's what concerns me. Christy, you say that you feel like you've decided you need to be single. I don't know why you've decided that. There are so many people out there that would not judge you, but embrace you. It just, it would be a non-starter. That sentence reminded me of you saying, I give up.

Don't give up. You never give up, ever. And Susan, how many times have we said and we're going to continue to say it? And so, guys, if you're bored, I'm sorry, don't give up in life. Your life is never over. It's just beginning. It's the best chapter. but we mean it. I know it sounds like we're just saying it, paying lip service, but really,

don't let this slow you down, Christy, don't give up, keep on keeping on, and get out there and enjoy life and do activities and do the things that make you happy and see what comes into your life. Kathy, have you ever been on a date and had to tell somebody something personal all about yourself or your family member or something like that. That's like a person that has a child that's ill, you know, looking for a partner. You have to share these things, but you don't necessarily have gloom and doom and feel like you'll never meet anybody. There's a billion wonderful people out there with big, huge hearts.

Susan? We just haven't found them yet. We just need one. We just need one. Where are they? I just need somebody that can like take a big, personality. Okay, well, when you find him, maybe he has a brother for this one with a big personality. I don't know. I listen. We're all going to find love and you have to believe in

yourself and look like I'm a big universe person. It's what you put out there. They don't understand word English. It's a vibe that you have in your body. And if you have a negative vibe about having this illness, then it's always going to be negative. I just want us both to remind Bachelor Nation out there and everyone else listening to this podcast, please be positive. Please, Gary and Teresa are struggling, as you can well imagine. Let's be positive and just show them grace. Again, I don't know, I didn't get married in front of 11 million people.

So let's try to be kind, folks. did marry them in front of 11 million people. And when I watched them say those vows, they meant what they said. So this isn't a fake. I mean, a lot of people have different opinion. It was real. It was very, very real. And you have to admire that at 70-some years old, when reality hit and they had their discussions, that it wasn't going to work and they're not going to waste their time. Right. Well, and that's the last thing. Let's go our separate ways and be And that is the other thing that I don't think people necessarily understand. Our season was a truncated season. It was a shorter season. So everyone had less time to get to know everyone. And then, you know,

they didn't get to see each other very much. I mean, it was really like can, it was like speed dating. And maybe they regret what they did. Clearly it didn't work out. But let's just live, let them live and let live. And it's a note to self, Susan. I will never get married in front of 11 million people, ever. Just remember, people, please be kind. I'm Jemel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Politics. And on the latest episode of Politics, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries joins me for a candid conversation about the state of the Democratic Party.

What do Republicans say to you privately that they won't say publicly? Many of them are in fear of their political lives. And that's been part of the challenge. But we continue to say to them, you were elected to defend your constituents, to stand up for your constituents. And there's life after Congress. And you should be willing to actually want to be able to look back on your time in the House of Representatives knowing that you can keep your head held high because you did the right thing. Donald Trump is gone in three and a half years. But their legacy or their failure to stand up to the extremism and the unprecedented of.

on America as we know it, we'll be with them forever. Make sure to listen to Spolitics on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people. people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like...

What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder take center stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts all right so we have one more question here this one is from marlene so glad you two found this platform i think i speak for many you have formed a friendship and bond that is infectious. Thank you for the positive energy. You're welcome. I love that.

I love that. Looking back, are you sorry or glad that you weren't picked by Gary? Did you ever think you'd have such an impact on people our age? I'm 71. Go, Susan. Yeah, I would go with neither one of those. Sorry or glad? No, it was the experience that, I mean, yes, we went there to find love.

And we realized, I know for myself, Gary and I were in the friend zone, and I was so grateful for that. So I was all about, as everybody knows, being happy for the ones that were getting serious with him. There are absolutely no regrets. I love the fact that we can share to the world about being positive and not being invisible and being our age and the age of possibilities. And 100% I agree with you. The other thing is that part of what this show has done for us, we know who we are. And so we didn't come there trying to beat everyone else up and get Gary. And I think that, again, is our wisdom and our age, that the friendships, our friendship,

Susan, for any of you who may wonder if this is for real. It is totally for real. We are very good friends. And so, you know, I agree with Susan. Are we sorry or glad? It's neither nor. We are just glad that we had the opportunity. And this, we say this all the time too. This chapter of our life, I feel very lucky. And I know you do too, Susan, to be doing what we're doing. But again, it's just a another example of it's never over until it's over. You know, Kathy, remember the saying, you'll never know, right? You never know what's going to happen. And sometimes I believe I was put here to share kindness, to share with people,

to listen to people, and give them my feedback and to love. Right. And I got to, sorry, I'm sorry, go ahead. Always have an open arm for anybody. I get tons of messages. and I guess they're the ones that maybe can't find, figure out how to send in messages. I know I've forwarded some to the company to post so that we can talk about it to them, but they're opening their hearts every single day, every day to us.

One other thing I wanted to add, I read a quote, and it just resonated with me that, especially at our age and life, and many of the questions, we get are about people of a certain age and what they should do and what can they not do. And I don't know where I read this, but it said there's always going to be a season. You need to live the one you're in. And I would add to that, celebrate the season you're in. Enjoy every minute. Try not to look backwards.

Try not to look forward. Enjoy the moment you're in because you'll never get it back. I do have one that I didn't send in that somebody sent there. I don't know. Do we have time for that one? Well, go for it. Let's see. I'm 49 years old, been married 23 years to a wonderful man. He's romantic, thoughtful, and very good looking. I'll take him. So why is my sex drive tanking? He loves sex at least four times a week or more, if possible.

But I've been fine with once a week. He's super into me, which is great, but I'm kind of over the sex part. I got the solution. Once a week, if possible, is all I want. I mean, I'll continue. Wait. I wish I wasn't, but it seems like a lot of work, and I'm tired from working full-time. The kids are rarely home because they are 19 and 20.

So in my husband's mind, it's an empty house to freely have sex in with no kids around. I hate we aren't on the same page. if you use this on your podcast, please just call me, Joe. I love it, Joe. Okay, where are you going with this one? I got the solution for this. Are you kidding me? He needs to be a bigamist.

He just needs a couple more wives and preferably young ones. I mean, maybe at your age you've got to tell him, honey, I want to go to part-time so I can be here for you more. Honestly, what I would suggest, go get hormones, baby doll. Go get hormones. How do you make a hormone, Susan? I get bioidentical hormones and they really, really help. So honestly, you know, you often say this.

Maybe they need to spice up their life a little bit. Maybe they need to do things differently, you know, take a little weekend vacation. Date night, yeah. Yeah, date night. Things, you know, things do get humdrum after a while and it takes a lot of work to keep a marriage, happy, spicy, all of those things. It takes work. He wants it more than she says.

And you know what? The good news is you really are blessed because, hey, at his age, you can do it five times a week. I think that's wonderful. Susan, stop being envious. Just saying. Susan wants his number. Don't give up.

Work on it with your husband. And tell him, you know, treat you a little bit. Have them turn you on a little bit. It's not just a service, though. Oh, he's got to work for it. Good advice. Good advice. But thank you, Joe, and I'm sorry I didn't get to call you first.

I didn't know I was going to have time for this today, but I'm glad I had it. We've got to keep the questions coming. We've got to keep the questions coming. I love it. And that does it for today. I know this was a quick episode, but keep those questions coming. And you can go on bachelornation.com slash golden hour to send them in. And I do know some of you out there are still strong.

a little bit. Kathy and I every week or so put a video out. Kathy, remind me, we'll do that after this and teach them how to get there once again. Thank you all for joining us. And once you are able to find it, we will help you. But please subscribe because we have episodes coming out every week. We have some great guests coming up and we have lots of wisdom to impart and some humor, which is that was good. Yes, it is. So listen to Bachelor Happy Hours. golden hour on the iHeart radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts see you next time hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you

have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious.

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and the Ad Council. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps and their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer. Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.