Bachelor Happy Hour - Life After ‘Bachelorette’ with Garrett & Bryan

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

Garrett Yrigoyen and Bryan Abasolo are back in the studio for another double date. Rachel, Becca, Bryan and Garrett talk about life after the show and what it was like starting their lives off camera.Plus, the couples reveal the biggest misconceptions that people tend to have about them and their lives post-show.Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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or wherever you get your podcast. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Welcome back, Bachelor Nation. We are so excited for today's episode because we have a few of our absolute favorites back in the studio with us. I'm over here looking at Rachel,

pouring out the champagne and coffee because it's one of those mornings. But we cannot wait to just talk life after Bachelor again with some of our favorite fellas. We got Garrett and Brian in the house. They're back You can't get rid of them Glad to be here again

Thank you for having us I was like wait Brian Brian I'm thrilled I can't catch a break I'm like I feel like it's a guy thing

No we're so happy to have you here just because you're the man in our life and I feel like well we had such a successful double date the first time when we did this on the podcast so why not do this again but I feel like we didn't get to

talk about life and life after the Bachelorette. Wait, don't you always say the Bachelor? I always say the Bachelor. Even though we were on the Bachelorette, I'm like, yeah, I was on the Bachelor franchise. It's just like a general term. But anyways, I feel like the questions we get the most, and I'm curious about you guys, is what happens after? You know, there's the day. Oh, and our fifth co-host today is Minow.

She's back with us again, guys. She always gets upset when we don't acknowledge her. She wants her voice to be heard. She'll tell you about life after the bachelor, for real. Well, she's a part of life after the bachelor. She is. We need to talk about our little dog babies. Yeah.

I don't know why I said that because I do not consider my dog a dog. So are just our babies. He's not an animal. I know we're obsessed, so I know you think about that the same way. I feel like everyone knows. You see our journey. You see us fall in love. You don't see our little rendezvous where we have our, you know, happy couple weekends.

You see us on stage. We announce who we're with. We go to New York, we do all this press, and then that's it. Don't you feel weird? Like, you're in, I'm curious to know how you feel because you're in this weird place where you're like, all right, now you kind of start dating. This is reality. Where do you go from here? Yeah.

What did you guys do first? It was a whirlwind, to say the least. I think I never realized how just insanely, like, passionate the Bachelor Nation family is. Because when I came off of the Bachelor, I went straight into Bachelorette. Like we did our after the final rose and then my phone was taken away and I did, ooh, I like that sound. And then I became Bachelorette. So it wasn't really until Garrett and I were finally in public where our life really started where we definitely got to know each other very well while we were still in hiding in the happy couple houses because you're stuck in a house for days on end. but it was just like after that real life hit us where do we live what are we going to do after

this all those questions and and you're trying to form this new relationship with the entire world watching you and having to say and so it was an adjustment I think neither one of us were prepared for I just think the notoriety that came with it I mean and Garrett I can't speak for you but I was I was blown away I didn't really know how to handle it I felt like I was like this little fresh baby out of the womb that like didn't know how to live at first so it was probably the biggest

changing moment of my life I would say and then we kind of just figured it out Garrett and I decided like where we wanted to live together

what we wanted to do how we wanted our life to look post show being normal but yeah Garrett what would you say yeah it was obviously

everything she said yeah everything you said but like drinking water from a fire hose I mean it was all you're taking all this stuff in that you've never experienced her done before and it's just like put on your lap now and the thing

that I had trouble with was we had she's obviously halfway across the country and now we're both in places where we don't want to go so she didn't want to come to Reno I didn't want to go there and then it's like almost figuring that aspect out and then once you do figure out that you want to move in together that's like the hugest step from the show you know other than being engaged on the show or not being engaged but just being together and then deciding like we're going to move our lives in together and just join them up was it was I don't know it was yeah and I think those happy couple weekends are clutch because at that moment you realize okay you know we've had basically cabin fever with each other for four or five days we're not sick of each other like you know the relationships are just getting better and I think that the conversations that we're having had during those times is when, you know, you're able to kind of establish what you guys are going to do moving forward. For Rachel and I, I think we always kept communication.

We were FaceTiming every day, talking multiple times a day. So, you know, those two weeks in between didn't really seem like a whole lot. And then, you know, once we were together, you know, we talked about, you know, we were both on the same page as far as, you know, my career allowed me the ability to move to any state pretty much and she was still barred in Texas and working so I was like you know what let's just go to Texas he made it very easy for me yeah I mean I like the commitment was there right I mean like we wanted to be together that came first and you know that's that's what we're going to make happen I think it's interesting what you said Becca about the being in the womb because what you

underestimate and this is advice to any future batch people coming to be a part of the bachelor franchise if you make it this far is that you are so protected when no one knows who you chose. People are guessing, maybe they're listening to the blogs or on Reddit or whatever, but they don't know. So you're in this bubble of, I found my person, I'm so in love, you know, production is still putting you up. And it's like that bubble burst when you have to say, okay, this is who I picked. And now all these opinions come flooding in about what you should or shouldn't have done. And I know for Brian and I, we face so much backlash. Like, I got so much backlash for picking Brian.

Even though I knew my decision, I knew I made the right decision. And I'm very curious, like for us, so the first day, and I've spoken about this before, but I don't know if I've ever told you, and I know I never told you, Gary. But when we did that media round in New York, everybody was asking us questions about the guy I didn't pick. And it became so heavy because I was in a place of, well, I'm still in a contract. So, you know, I'm not going to bite the hand that's feeding me. But at the same time, I want to honor and protect my relationship. How do I respect Brian, but then also respect the process?

And it got to a point where we were at ahead with each other because I couldn't find the fine line. And we just had to clear everybody out of the room and to just be the two of us. And I bawled. Like, I just needed a good cry. I was so frustrated. And we just kind of held each other in that moment and we're like, you know what? it's us against the world we know what we have

we don't need it we need to ignore all of the outside noise and we need to be a united front and face this together and it was after that that we were like you know what if we can get through this and we know we have each other's back backs then we can get through anything right so I'm very curious as to how it

was for you guys because we cheers to that I'm very curious cheers cheers just having backs I'm very curious as to how it was for you guys because you're on a plane, you're not really on social media, you're dead tired, you're taking a red eye,

you land, and then it's like, boom, your phone goes off. And that's the thing, no one can expect it. When you watch the finale, you watch those couple hours go down, the couple's on stage, you literally hop on a plane, take the red eye, you're exhausted, you're still in the same

hair and makeup that you were on stage the night before and they're like, okay, you have to go do GMA, you have to be on live TV, you have to give all these interviews, it's like a full day of nonstop interviews and you're you're talking about the same thing and it and that what I experienced personally is like it was such a happy moment I was so excited to finally share like Garrett is my number one pick like we're together it's the two of us now but the media doesn't always want to to interview like the happy like show the happy side of things

they want to talk about the drama the runner up how do you think he's feeling they want to it takes away and when we were on stage with Chris during after the final rose we of course had to address it but you have you only have so much time you can say a statement and apologize and so the next day I felt like we were constantly saying the same thing over and over and over and it really kind of put a damper on like that first beginning to the relationship because you just want to be excited you like you're in that honeymoon phase and you can't be and so that day it's exhausting so I can totally see why you were like everyone needs to get out we need our moment like we need to just be alone

I think Garrett and I got to the point that day where I think we were being interviewed I think it was over the phone we had all of these media people on the phone and we're sitting in this room trying to answer these questions and the way that these reporters were asking the questions were so like

they weren't asking direct questions first of all and so Garrett and I were looking at each other like are we losing our minds here are we like living in an alternate universe where we don't know like what is going on And we just burst out laughing. Like, I thought we were losing our minds. I didn't cover my face with a pillow because I didn't want to be, like, rude on the interview.

So I was laughing so hard. And then it, like, triggered this chain reaction of laughs to this interview. And it was terrible. Yeah, it was so bad because we were exhausted. We had been talking about the same thing. And so it wasn't until that night where also, too, we did not realize. Okay, I'm from small town Minnesota. Garrett is from central California.

We did not realize, like, once you leave. the interviews that day, like, paparazzi is following you. I never thought that that was going to be a thing. In my wildest dreams, I never thought paparazzi would have gotten in a car and chased us. I was like, what the heck is going on? I was so out of my element. We were just, we

could not have fathomed it. TMZ owned like a monster truck and was like driving over cars through red lights. We were actually just talking about this day, like, paparazzi. I'm like, I knew what happened for like Princess Diana and like important people. Like, why the hell are they chasing us to get

a photo of us walking into a hotel. It was so strange. And so it wasn't until we got into our hotel room. And I think it was like seven at night. We literally sat down, ordered room service. And Garrett didn't even eat. I think he just passed out right away. And that was our first day together in public.

I think that sounds about right for us. Yeah, you just kicked up your feet. Yes, you're just drained. And then the next. I think because you go from zero to 100 immediately, you know, when the show's done, it's like you don't really know the impact you have on people being on the show. and like they don't almost look at you as a person they look at you as like some figure

that they watch on TV yeah it's fake yeah what's crazy is that I mean touching on that they've seen you on their TV screens for how many weeks they feel like they really know you and I always we always talk about this with you know let's say like a Leonardo DiCaprio

like somebody sees them out like they're not gonna run up on them like they do Rachel like I remember a basketball game like some girl just like literally grabs you around their shoulder Oh, my God, Rachel! I was going to ask you, do you guys get... Personal space. No, exactly. It's like people will grab you.

They, like, you would never do that to a normal person or restraint. Like, you would never just go up and they have just, there's like this lack of boundaries that I think people think that they know you because they've seen your love story unfold. But it's, that's the part that was really uncomfortable for us where Garrett knows. Like, I had such bad anxiety for the longest time where I didn't even want to go grocery shopping. I mean, I didn't want to do any normal things. I did not want to leave my apartment because I was so on edge. Like, who's going to grab me?

Who's going to make a scene? And I make that sound so bad. Like, I don't want to be. No, that's not bad. I'm so appreciative of the world and all the opportunities and, like, the love and support. But there's also, like, I'm still a human. I still need my time and my space. And so that part was really tough.

And then you get put in these situations, like, in public, not too long after that, the following month, we were in Nashville. And we went to my school, was playing Vanderbilt. So I went out there with some friends, and we went out for the night. And she literally, we were drinking a little bit, but, you know, not heavily or anything. And she got bombarded by these girls, and they cornered her. And for me, I'm like, and she's literally trying to get through in there grabbing her, like handling her, trying to take pictures. And for me, I'm like, what do I do in this instance?

You know, because do I grab the girl that's grabbing her and try to, like, move her off? What is this girl going to say to me? or what's going to get reported to me. Everybody's phones are out. And so I was just caught in this, like, super stress out because I'm like, I wanted to throw this person like down the stairs is how angry I felt because they had her just cornered and then she was like freaking out.

But luckily one of our girlfriends was there who, if you're listening, thank you. She was like the bulldog that came in and like pushed them off and like pulled me. It was insane. I never expected that. Yeah. College, colleges are the worst.

That's what we have come to realize. That is where most of the families. most of the fans are and they just corner you like we've got we're big sports fans so we go to games and that's just where it becomes overwhelming but I think it's important for you to say this and for people to hear it because they think oh they're on TV they just want to be famous and it's it's like no that's not necessarily true we are normal people we you guys were very similar to what we did when it was over we tried to figure ourselves out build our foundation and live a normal life Yeah, we do things here and there on TV,

but we weren't like out and about trying to be seen. We went to Dallas. You know what I mean? It's, I think people need to hear that kind of stuff because what you also don't realize is all of the odds are against you. You are not meant to be, honestly, you are not meant to have a successful relationship.

So when you see it happen, like you guys, and I'm talking to our listeners, when you see it happen, please know that the work was put in to make that relationship successful. It's not like this magical experience where it's like, you know, you have to watch your significant other navigate 30 plus other relationships. You have to relive that experience when you've been living outside of it for months. You have to deal with millions of people having their outside opinions on your relationship. Then you have to convince your family because sometimes your family, like for us, we had to say, I remember my dad was like, you guys are infatuated with each other, give it a year, and then we'll see where you are.

It's like you're trying to convince so many people of what you have. It's honestly easier to just give up. Right. And is it one of the questions that we get the most, or at least that I do, is it real? Yeah. Is the bachelor? Is it a bachelor real? Totally.

Yeah. They think it's all scripted and fake and that, like, you have this certain time frame or contract that when it's done, it's like you do whatever. Yeah. And people think that we're like millionaires from the show. I'm like, I got my medical sales job and I got paid zero, you know, to do this or anything after. Because people still to this day are like, oh, my God, where are you guys going to dinner night? Does ABC pay for that? Yeah, I'm like, well, no, they don't pay for that.

Yeah, people see the Instagrams and all these. They're like, oh, my gosh, your relationship is perfect and it's so easy. And you're just going to travel all the time. It's like, you put probably an extra work because you're combining two lives that you're nowhere near each other to begin with. You're combining those lives. You're figuring it out with the entire world. Well, not I shouldn't say the entire world, but a big chunk of. people weighing in like even to this day I suppose I'm like also get people commenting on different

photos or messaging me being like I'm still mad you didn't choose like Blake or I'm so mad that you sent Jason home it's like this ship has sailed this is two years later yeah it's like it's it just blows my mind the stuff that people still say and want for you oh and how about the people that went to body language university where they see you out it's like Rachel wasn't smiling for 10 seconds straight They're unhappy. They're about to break up. Did y'all deal with that?

Because that gives me, we had that anxiety, I will say right after the show, kind of like the pressure of, oh, maybe we need to hold hands or we need to look like we're laughing and smiling and happy because we went to one thing. And I remember, like, Brian was like trying to find an Uber. I was focused on someone else and they were like, they weren't even interacting. Brian was ignoring her. And it was like, oh, my gosh, people are watching you like crazy. Yeah, they were like, oh, this is a total business.

relationship. I was literally trying to get an Uber. I think I was going to a shoe. She was already working there. So I was just like, babe, what's the address to where we're going next? They'll pick apart any little thing. Anything that you say, you do if you touch, you don't touch whatever

it is. Like, you hear about it. And that's another thing too that drives me crazy is, well, you're chiropractor? Yeah, yeah, chiropractor. So it's like a lot of the times now it's like, people are like, do you work? Are you ever going to work again? And it's like, what she's doing here is work what you know being on the bachelor life on stage is work yeah i'd have

more when i now than i ever did yeah other companies is work it's like it's not like we just quit working we got this royalty from being on the show we're out like it's actually made it harder for me because now it's like going out and finding business on a constant basis and it's not anything you know that is i like before when i was in sales and whatnot it was like i was doing the same thing but within a confined territory and i knew what i was going after but now it's changed so So it's like we're still working and I don't know. Just trying to figure everyone. Everyone is trying to figure it out.

A good point. Let me, let's just talk to our listeners because I read a statistic. Don't ask me where I saw it from. Could have been Instagram. But no, it was a real article that said 86% of people want to be social media influencers. Like this new generation. I don't know what to call them Z.A. I don't know what we're on at this point.

I don't even know what I am. But we're millennials technically. Yes. And I don't consider myself one, but technically by age you are. So, Jen, AA, they want to be influencers. And I think that you bring up a really good point about how it does hinder you when you're trying to have a career. People see you and they think, oh, they've got it made. That's it.

Life is set. But when you're trying to enter the real world, people don't give a fuck. Nobody, I didn't watch the show before. So I was around a lot of people who didn't. They're like, oh, you're on The Bachelor? Who cares? I remember people think that I did got ESPN because it's affiliated with ABC.

What I have to remind people is I went to ESPN right after the show and I was like, this is it. When you were your hottest. When I was at my hottest, I have a sports management background and I studied sports law. So I'm like, I am qualified for this.

I got this. And they were like, we love you, but no. Our sports audience doesn't look at you and say she knows sports. They look at you as the Bachelorette. And I am at the top, my most popular. I had to spend a year of flying myself out for free. Granted, the Batcher gives me a platform and it opens doors for me,

but it was my job to keep myself there. I had to pay for myself to just to build a reel to get the experience to be where I am two and a half years later now. It is not easy unless you just want to sell stuff and then you have to remember six months later, a whole new batch of contestants are coming in. And they don't care about you. And they don't care about you.

Do something that's just centered around Bachelor. And still you're competing against past contestants. they didn't offer everybody bachelor live on stage. My phone didn't ring for it. I'm just saying, you know what I mean? Yeah, there are a number of other bachelorette. They didn't call all these other people. They gave it to you.

So you're competing against so many people. Like, I'm giving a joke, but I'm giving credit to you. Thank you, Rach. Yeah, it's people see, like, what I, like, what I've lately have encountered is like, because I have B the label, the Lounge Tour line. They're like, you don't do anything. Thank you. But they're like, you don't do anything.

You just slap your name on it. It's like, no, I go to meeting. all the time. I'm in photo shoots all the time. I'm with the designers picking out fabrics and colors and prints and coming up with, like, I'm there more often than I, and I'm not getting paid that much for it. Like, I will say it's more of just like, it's for me work and it's a great creative outlet, but it's not just like slap, it's not just me endorsing one product and slapping my name on it. It's so much more than that. And people, my, my thing is, like, I would never go up to somebody, I don't know, and be like, do you work? Do you have a 401K?

How much do you get paid? What do you do? Like, that's none of my business. If you are doing something that is fulfilling you and bettering yourself and working towards some goal, that's all I need to know. Good for you. And people, I think, because they feel like they know us and they see everything, they want to know all aspects. They just want to know every

single detail about your life. They think that they have a say in it. And I don't think we're saying, listen, people, we're not saying that we're like to feel sorry for us. Yeah. This is an amazing platform and it gives you amazing opportunities and I think we can all agree it has to changed our lives for

the better in every single way but don't forget that it requires work like it just doesn't happen for you and that's it and you've got the golden ticket it requires some work as well it doesn't come easy otherwise everybody would be doing this that's been on the show

you know amen I forgot my next question I literally looked down at the paper and I was like oh no we're just shooting the shit this is good like playing into like how much worlds have changed and and just what we're kind of thrown into post show. Like for

Garrett, even this podcast today, like he was a little nervous. And because he'll still watch the show and he's still wrapped up in a little bit, but he's not, which I love about him, he's not like wrapped up in doing all these appearances and these media interviews and all this craziness.

And he's just like, I just want to sit back and like drink a beer in my couch and chill. So even like for him to be here, props to you, Gary. Thank you. He has a Not a fame whore people. I don't think anybody thinks that about either one of you. Well, no, then they're quick to label you.

Oh, they're just trying to be relevant. Oh, my God. Don't you think. That's what we should talk about. What do we hate the most that people say? What do I need to do to be relevant? Let's be like, well, I actually want to know. While you put something relevant, you know, relevant, this of shit,

I'm like, unless you're on the show for that second of the day, like, you're not relevant. God, I love that. But why does that have to be, I mean, let's be honest. There are people in the franchise who do things to stay relevant. Oh, totally. But I wouldn't say anybody here does something, like even this podcast, we're not doing it to stay relevant. I mean, we were on this show. We have a, like, a unique perspective.

Right. We love sitting here talking each other. I mean, my God, we're dressed alike today. We are matching in tracksuits, guys, if you can't see. It's just a fun outlet. And I think that when you're a part of the franchise, you kind of want to keep your toe in it and stay connected to it in some way because it did you so much for you. Right.

But it's not like we're doing things for attention. Right. Yeah. For who? Exactly. For what? Don't confuse me with some other people and I'm not going to name names. Like I said yes to doing this podcast with you because, like, Rachel, when you had me on his guest, I had such a good time.

He had so much fun for me to do to, like, chat for a couple hours about the show that everyone watches. Like, that's why I'm not doing it to build my, I don't even know how to, like, build a following or like whatever the kids are doing these days. To be honest, I like the outdoors like hunting and fishing and stuff like that and the platform isn't really built around that. Yeah, no. I'll post pictures of like fish and ducks and people are like, you're a terrible human being. Sometimes I'm like, watch this, Becca, send me or whatever post.

She's like, oh, my God. Here come the trolls. Yeah, there they come. Yeah, they come flying out of the door. Do you feel like you want to give advice to people who are coming after you in the franchise? And maybe this is more direct, like you guys probably Karen Brin are like, no, whatever. But Becca, do you feel the pressure to, like you're seeing these people come up, you're seeing them go through it.

You probably have people reach out to you. And guys, maybe you do too. I don't mean to count you out. Do you feel the pressure to like, let me help you out a little bit? I wouldn't say the pressure, but I think I wanted, especially like right after my season, there was so much change and I didn't know where to turn to. and I really struggled with that, that I more so wanted to be a place

that the girls from Colton's season felt like they could come to and ask questions. Did I reach out to you? I'm pretty sure I did. I think a lot of the girls did. Yeah, yeah. You did, Caitlin did. Am I to end it there?

But I definitely reached out to you. No, but well, because even like, even the advice when you and Jojo and Caitlin came on prior to my season helped so much. No, but a lot of the girls did reach out, which helped tremendously because it just, it was a weird world and I didn't know where to turn what to do. At that point I couldn't really talk

about what had happened because I was still the show was still airing and so I wanted to be a person that they felt like they could come to and ask advice or just vent and I really and I still want to be that so if there's anyone out there on the show listening like please feel free

like you can reach out. Please don't feel like we're tearing your part on this podcast but I think it's different now because my I was coming at it from an aspect of like social media is crazy. You're being bombarded with all of this noise and you just really don't know where to turn. And you get

you hear the best things ever and you hear the worst things ever. And I struggled with that. And so I wanted to come from a place of like we all get that feedback. Like don't take it to heart. Like if you need someone that's like there just as like a venting somebody to vent

to or cry with like I can be that person. Now it now it's kind of hard because I think like a lot of people go on expecting that social media. attention, which I didn't, I didn't go on expecting that. So I came at it from a different way. Now I think they're maybe more seasoned and, like, want that. Yeah.

People say that. Yeah. We had Demi on the show. She said it. I interviewed Jimmy, Jimmy. I interviewed Ginny McCarthy a while back. She said it. And she's like, it's kind of a sign of the times.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, people are going, walking on to the show with like 100,000 followers. Right. I didn't even have a Twitter when I came on the bachelor. I still, to this day, don't even know how to use Twitter that well. I'll, like, tweet out once a week, but, yeah. I didn't even think of an Instagram following when I went on the show until I came out of the shower

and there was, like, a group of guys in the bedroom talking about the followers after. Who did that? Who were their names? I'd rather not say. Yeah, rather not said. No, get out to say. If I had to, I could take a gamble. I could guess.

I could write down names, but it was in the very beginning. It was within the first week that we had moved into the mansion. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I remember my joke coming out was like, I was like, guys, I have 400,000. And they were like, you have 400,000 followers. And I was like, I was like, 400. Yeah, I have 40. Yeah. Same. But like, okay, you bring up such a good point. That right there shows you. And people always joke, are you here for the right reasons or you hear for the wrong reasons. And it's become such a like muddied statement. Who even knows what that means anymore. But it is terrifying to hear that week one. guys are talking about followers. I mean, as leads, Becca, is that not so scary? Oh, yeah. And I literally was about to ask this question, so thank you for the segue.

Love a good segue. I'm scared for the franchise. And the people you're bringing through. I mean, we've watched Peter's season, and you look at the women, and they just seem to be different as a whole. I'm not saying every single one there, but as a whole, different from what we've seen in past seasons.

I'm concerned. I mean, I think, no offense, but I think that has a, could have something to do with age. I mean, if you get some older individuals who, you know, they're advanced in their career, don't really care about all the social media stuff, and, you know, they've lived their life, they've had experiences, they've been in love, they've had their heartbroken, I think there's more of a chance that it could end up well like it did for us. But what about the middle ground of like 40-year-olds, maybe who are, are deviant? have been divorced and have kids and are in that,

I feel like there is such an untapped audience. It's called The Real Housewives. No, no, no. Those women are losing their men like that. You know, I know. So they need to go on our show on the show. Ramona Singer told me she should be the next Bachelorette. Wait, is she single?

Yeah, she's single. I haven't caught, I'm sorry. I have not caught up. Girl, yeah, Mario cheated on her. She found this whole, oh my gosh. Romona. Romona. seasons ago.

Ramona. Anyways, we're digressing, but no. I forgot why we started talking about that. Like social media following. Yeah, yeah. I think, and what I've seen in this show, and I was actually talking about this with someone the other day, I think the show is now trying to adapt itself to fit the social world a little bit more.

I mean, back in the day, like, I think it was on Colton's season. You saw the whole conversation about, like, Kailen and Cassie. he'd been talking about going to these Revolve parties. Well, what did you see in Peter's season now? Revolve became part of the narrative. And so I think they're trying to adjust a little bit more. I think it's a conversation like, look, social media and like these crazy, cool parties and opportunities aren't going to go away.

So, of course, people coming on the show are going to be open to that world. And I think if you go on being like, yeah, sure, it's going to be cool. I'll probably go to some of those things. I'm not going to say no. But to still not make it like, oh, I would never do. do that and if you would say that it's terrible it's like the hopefully you're going on the show to potentially find a partner like i'd hope that that was your end goal and be pleasantly surprised but i think it's just part of the world now that people just have to confront and say like yeah

that's a thing and we're not going to try to hide it but we're not going to make the entire narrative about that you know what i'd like to see i'd like for them to just wash the slate clean let's just start over i don't want you to pick somebody from a prior season i don't want you to pick somebody from a prior season i want anybody from the past. Let's just go back to how they used to do it. Let's bring in somebody who's a successful businessman or woman or maybe even a celebrity. Let them be the bachelor bachelorette. Let's have a whole new crop of people. And there's no rules. It doesn't matter what age you are, whether you have kids, whether you've been divorced, whether what your sexuality is. I mean, just like let's just have a free for all and start over. Because I think that that's what's so

great about winter games, summer games, all of this stuff. You bring in people from, the look of confusion on Garrett's face. No, no, I'm not confused. When I said winter, summer games, he was like, I haven't seen those. So I heard Brian mentioned summer games today, and I was like, what is that? It has a, but they've announced it at this point. So what's so cool about that, I loved it. Like, it was off the beaten path.

We never knew what we were going to get each episode. We didn't know how the dates were playing. Who was going to pop up? And you have all these people from different countries coming together. And it's guys and girls living in the same place. That was so cool. It was refreshing. I think something like that needs to continue.

I agree. I guess why did they switch it in the first place? I think it was a situation where you saw them in the previous season. They got their heartbroken. It's like you followed their journey. It's genius. It's genius. So I feel like that's why they strayed away.

from the old school mentality. Okay, Becca, you mentioned something that kind of stood out to me when you were talking about how people give their opinions on what you should be doing as a woman in your relationship, which I feel like we get those same questions too. I guess, so one, how do you navigate that? And do you feel, like, I feel like for us,

it's a constant conversation of where are we gonna live? Because like you guys, we lived in two different cities, two different states, how do we bring our lives together? I have my goals. Brian has his. I'm very interested with you guys where you stand on that and kind of how you work through it and where you see yourself going. Yeah, I think like you guys, it's just a constant conversation. And it's just realizing you have to compromise at times.

Like in terms of moving, it was a huge adjustment to both of us. And we couldn't agree. So we wanted to come to a neutral territory where we could start our life together in a new ground where it wasn't like. like, oh, I'm just changing for you or you're just changing for me. We really wanted to make it our own, which is why we came to California. But even in terms of career paths and work, like I have personally gotten a lot of, not a lot of criticism. I shouldn't say a lot, but some criticism for saying yes to the Bachelor Live on stage tour,

because I'm gone for three months across the country. And Garrett will be there for part of it with me. He's going to travel and come see me, but there's been a lot of people messaging me being like, I can't believe you're leaving your partner. He must be so sad that you're like packing up to leave him and like, thank God you have such a supportive man. It's like, why as a woman can I not say yes to these amazing opportunities? Like if it was a man and I, and this is something I have to talk to Ben about. I'm not sure if he's gotten it.

I don't think he has. But Ben's in a relationship with someone, but I don't think he's probably getting it to the same. extent of like why is why as a woman is it frowned upon for me to leave and travel and focus on bettering myself and this career path and this new endeavor? I don't I don't get that and like yes of course thank God Garrett is so supportive and I have an amazing partner that says go do it like you deserve this like it's an amazing opportunity but but all that should matter is what what like if he wasn't supportive and if he was like no I don't think it's best like for our relationship right now I wouldn't be leaving him it's it's I didn't even know

people were criticizing you for that yeah I get and it's like the weird thing and I swear it's with like changing their their account names and it's always under new accounts but it's I'll screenshot it I thought I showed it to I get criticized all the time because people are like you're not back in medical sales you're just riding Becca's coattails so that's what I get like messages about that all the time like you're just writing in her shadow and she and I'm like Oh, my God. And what you got to chalk it up to is people don't know. And, of course, people will have their opinions.

But at the end of the day, what matters is what we think and what we feel in our relationship and what's best. And you just have, I've learned to really just tune a lot of it out. Yeah. Like, of course, I'll clap back at some moments and say something and respond. But at the end of the day, I'm still going to do what I want to do. Garrett is going to do what he wants to do and what's best for our relationship. Yeah, it's like, why shouldn't, I would always support whatever she wanted to do, you know? It's like, I don't know.

Absolutely. Because in a sense, I mean, you're becoming a better version of yourself, getting new experiences, you know, growing as a person, which it feels only going to make you stronger as a unit, you know what I mean? Like if you were trying to hold her down and be like, no, you can't do that. I mean, you're not letting her spread her wings in the sense, and it means. It actually takes a very strong, supportive, and secure partner to actually do what he's doing. Yeah, yeah, y'all's dynamic reminds me a lot of Brian and myself. and just, what I think bothers me is that people try to tell us

how our relationship should be and it's really the, like the confines are, I shouldn't say that word, but just like, it really just depends on how you set it up for yourselves. And I think, why do we have, why does it have to be traditional where, you know, we go into a nine to five

and, you know, then you have children and you like pick them up from daycare and like this is exactly how it has to be and I think that what's beautiful is, because for Brian and I we like go like he moved to Dallas for me and then when I stopped practicing law which I got a lot of hate for too oh you just want to be famous and you stop practicing it's like why can't I just change my career right and then I moved to

Miami to support Brian and he opened up his practice there and we are always like okay in two more years we'll evaluate things and sometimes things aren't matching up that way and you know like my career is evolving more towards L.A but Brian has been insanely supportive and I, that's the thing that you mentioned this, Becca, and I'll just kind of like tag on to what you said is I couldn't do what I'm doing if Brian did not support me.

100%. So this is a partnership. And why can't our relationship be, okay, maybe we have to do something bicostal for a second and then, but we have an end goal in mind. We're not trying to do this forever. And every relationship, you really have to make it your own. Like I couldn't do what I've seen other friends do in relationships. Like that's just not for me

And so We just have to be there for one another And that's what we've learned Like life is crazy right now We're all over the place And that's just what it is There's no changing that You just have to adapt and compromise

And like if Garrett were to ever come to me And be like hey I'm gonna do this like live Tour show for three months There's no way I would say no I'd be like go for it When can I come travel with you I'm gonna be your groupie It's every relationship is their own

And and that's one thing I've learned it's easy to judge and like I myself even back in the day of course I had my opinions but I think that's one thing that the show really opened me up to was like everyone's different and you just have to do you and adapt to what is best for you in your relationship and and hope that it works out like why can't people just support us and be like oh that's really cool that they're doing this thing together exactly that's all I was going to say is there's so many people that want to insert their just negative comments and they're just always down and it's like they put these opinions out there and comments but if you see them in person they're like

oh my god that's rachel that's brian from and i don't know on social media it just drives me crazy so i try to just she gets worked up about it sometimes with the comments and for me i'm just like eff everybody that leaves comments like that they don't know you personally they don't know where you're going in life what you want to do and it's like do what you want to do and go with it and go with it with like full force don't worry about like other people's opinions and don't let them sway you right or wrong or whatever just do what you know is right and what you want to try to achieve and go after it and it's just you and I and your family's like I hate people just miss me off that's what I love about Garrett that's why he's

fishing and and he's away from technology but he is my biggest champion like he is the one where like for instance one example was like this past week I had to do a social promotion for a brand and I posted the picture and I took a shower and he was the one came on back he's like I got your back babe like I'm getting all these people right now and so he's the one like

going through all the comments and like hey I was just like I think you like thank you you so I don't have to right now and so that's just a very small example but yeah I'm very lucky to have him no I like I'm literally sitting here and I'm like this is this is exactly how Brian and I are like I'm watching on like this that's how we are and I think that that speaks to what makes a relationship so successful you have a strong foundation you have open communication you understand that things are always changing you have to make sacrifices you have to compromise and you have to support each other yeah and that isn't easy all the time especially when you fall in love in such a public way everyone has their opinions about you you and you have to, as you said, Garrett, cancel out the noise and just say, you know what? Fuck what everybody else is saying.

We know who we are. We know what we have. And that is what makes us great. Yeah. And also I was getting at what she was talking about her point. It's like people in lighthearted situations or pictures or whatever, they insert like the deepest, like hardest, I don't know, negativity and their opinions and all that. And I'm just like, man, screw what they say. you know exactly what your intention was in the picture, whatever it was, and just keep moving forward.

Because if you let that stuff hold you up, it just, like, drag you down. Well said. And for anybody who is letting, you know, trolls or, you know, faceless people, e-thugs, as I like to call them, you know, attack you on social media or in print or whatever. Like, know who you are. Stay true to that. Your circle of friends and your family members support you and they know who you are too. and that's really what you have to rest on. Don't try to impress people you don't know. Don't try to be something that you're not. You know, everybody is made differently. We're all unique.

And that's what makes you special because there's absolutely no one out there who is just like you. I feel like I'm like, and thank you for tuning in to therapy with Becca, Garrett, Brian and Rachel. If you like your coffee with heavy cream and four scoops of hazelnut or whatever,

just keep rocking it. That sounds like my coffee going. You guys aren't aware of this, but aren't, well, you should be, because I mean you're listening to our podcast. But on Bachelor Happy Hour, Becca and I love to play games with our guests, so we can't leave or let you leave without playing a game with you. So we're going to do rapid fire. I'm going to direct my questions to Garrett.

Becca's going to direct hers to you, Brian. Wonderful. I ask a question, one word answer. Unedited. You know, here we go. You just have to give it to a straight. I feel like this is from Saw. We're like, do you want to play a game?

I wish we got a camera. It's like, I want in here. Because Garrett and Brian look terrified. They're like, what did we sign up for today, guys? All right, here we go. Rapid fire. Garrett, first thing you ever noticed about Becca. Her smile.

Oh, sweet. Becca, your turn. Okay. Brian, the cutest thing Rachel does is. Smile. Okay. No, actually, it's her laugh. It's her laugh.

It is a good laugh. Yeah. Oh, okay, Garrett, if you want a million dollars, what would you buy? I would invest it. Oh, whoo. Honey. That's the answer. I mean, I was hoping you would have said a boat, but no, no, that's the answer.

Too much upkeep. You could rent those on the weekend. Well, this is, I got a good guy. Oh, sorry, Brian. Okay, Brian, if you bought a boat, oh, segue. Why? If you bought a boat together, what would you name it? R&B. Oh, oh, damn.

I told Garrett on the way here, I'm like, you go by R&B. Like, you get like the music. She said we could be the GBs, and I was like, you can't have a bee-G-B-Gs? I said the Bee-Gs. That sounds like a disease, but you have B-Gs. Okay, Garrett, Becca's weirdest habit is. Oh.

Where does have it? Let's see. Sleeping with her baby blanket. Okay. I thought you were going to say sleep talking. Well, sleep talking with her baby blanket. Do you sleep talk all the time? Do you try to shake her and ask her questions in her sleep?

Oh, yeah. Last time he woke me up, like, hitting my back and it was like, Becca, are you okay? And I'm like, yeah. My dad used to, I used to sleep talk. I don't anymore. It's so weird. I used to sleep talk. And my dad used to ask me questions.

Like, where were you last? Like that kind of stuff. Like the real truth is coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much did you have to drink last night, Rachel? Well, one of her biggest breakdowns, I'll make it quick, was when she left it at a hotel and they picked it up with the sheets to take out for laundry. So she thought it was lost forever. We thought what was?

Her baby blinking. It's literally like this raggedy, gross thing that she washes. Excuse you. That she washes. But this lady, a saint of a soul, went into the laundry, which is off. sight and found her baby like all the hotel laundry and her name is Jamie Jamie if you were listening

I still owe you that drive is amazing shout out to Jamie I have a care bear I still have yeah like from when I was born so I will always sleep with it well my dog ate the eyes out of it it's not just a demon it's not a copper's property

that pig it's Wilbur okay Charlotte's Webb obviously that's a name Brian okay Brian your favorite thing that Rachel cooks in Honestly, I'm very particular. I would say... You can be honest.

Salmon. I thought you were going to say nothing. I don't even say cereal or something. I was like, okay, I did make a good salmon. Okay, Garrett, if you could be any animal, what would it be? Bald Eagle. Without a doubt. Why?

America. America. I just think raptors, you know, they're at the top of the food chain and they can fly and soar and just look down. And then I love sushi, so they're always eating fish. I thought like Garrett has thought about this answer before. Next question. You're animal fishes. He wants to fish.

Yeah. I mean, that's perfect. Because he protects an animal and no one can touch him. They're so majestic. You are so majestic, I will say. All right. Brian, the last movie you watched together was? Uh, ooh.

The last movie I don't even know It was probably more like a Netflix show The outsider Is that what it was called? That's on HBO Oh it's on HBO Yeah

Okay Well that's it We keep falling asleep Should we watch it? No we've seen like We've literally I think we're sold The first episode

We fall asleep every single time What's your favorite show That you guys watch together? We got a couple Power Homeland's got by the way Oh I want to actually watch Homeland I have a whole list in my phone

You ever see one episode? Oh my God Oh, yeah, you're in for it. It's great. Okay. Garrett, where would you want to retire? Oh. On a golf course.

Okay. But what town? That's a good question. It's a safe answer. This could be a point of contention between you two. He's like, Reno. She's like, no. That would be solid, but, um.

Are you doing? I'll just say neutral. Yeah, I'll just say Indio. I'll just say India. You can say Tahoe. I wouldn't mind that. Oh, Tahoe would be, yeah. Okay.

On a golf course in Tahoe. We've never been. We talk about going out. We've never been. You need to you. It's amazing. I love Tahoe. And Reno, too.

I mean, it is beautiful. But Tahoe is like this whole new. Brian, if you had access to a time machine, when and where would you want to go with Rachel? If I had access to a time machine? Oh, wow. Um. I would say back to the proposal day

That's a good safe answer Would you want it to be a little less windy Yes absolutely It was funny they told me to like pick her up And it was just a bad move Well the dress was so heavy And there was like a bunch of rocks And it was like a downhill slope

And I was like this is probably not the best idea. I would either take Becca back to third grade and see how much of a brat she was or go to the future and see how we're looking. Third grade, it wasn't in a bright. It wasn't until about fifth or sixth grade. I didn't think about the future. I was afraid of his answer because I was like

there's only a certain number of time periods that I didn't go back to where things were okay for me. So I'm scared. If I was to be the second answer, we always have this debate. Like college, Brian. We would have had no chance with college Rachel. So I just wanted to see how compatible we were back at that time.

That's a good one. I think I would have swept you on the feet. We always talk about that. We're looking at a day right now. There's no way. That's what we say. That's what we say. So funny.

Okay. Garrett, describe Becca in three words. Smart, beautiful, courageous. Oh, wow. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Courageous. That's a good one.

That's a good one. I was not expecting courageous. That was a good one. You said it. I was like, yes. You've got to have some courage to get out there and do that. Well, you're doing it with me, so hey. Okay, yeah, I'll be backstage.

No, you're coming on sometimes. Well, I have to follow the lead. Brian, what are three words that you would describe Rachel? Rachel, I would say ambitious, strong, and beautiful. Very nice. I agree with all of those. Oh, you guys. You guys, you're getting laid.

Yeah. I have a question. This is my question. Give it to us. Gee. He got his head back. He's like really excited right now. You know how like when you're talking and you're in here and you have conversation and you're like serious but you're having fun?

Like when you guys are alone and you go home, do you have, do you break into different voices? Let me give you an example. Please. Okay. Oh, I'm scared for this. I already say yes. All right, let me hear what years would be. Like, like sometimes I'll just.

Oh, that's an example. talk to her like if you're at home and like you're trying to be cute or say something funny or whatever i don't think it's i don't think it's necessarily meant to be cute or it doesn't have to be like it'll be like little zingers here and there like she'll saying like oh really rach is that what you're trying to do that we did do that i am rachel and i like just like just random voices i take it y'all do it too yes do it to me i don't know i'll be like um So many, though. I can't.

Although laughing too hard that it won't come out right. Wait, but paint the picture. Like, why would you be doing this? It'll just be like, Becca will ask, you know, a question that is so obvious. And or like, so in the morning, say she's like, hey, can you run down and grab, like, the mail from the post office or whatever? And then I come in and she's like, hey, did you grab the mail? I'm like, yes. And then, like, 45 minutes later, she'll be like, Garrett, did you grab the mail?

and I'll be like, yes, Becca, I grab the mouth for you. But we, I guess we would do, like, you'd be like, yeah, Rachel, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, we do do that, okay? But then sometimes it's like, we'll go back and forth, and I'm like, oh, my God, I feel like I just talk like that for an hour. Yeah. Well, and then he has this voice with Minow. I don't know if it's, like, supposed to be Minow's voice. We have a dog voice.

Yeah, then he'll do it sometimes. Like, give us the Minow voice. Give us the Minow voice. Which one is it? The one that you've done for, like, the farmer's dog and stuff. Oh, hey, it's me minnow here. But he'll talk with him. So all in the morning, we'll wake up, and he'll have, like, Minow, because she sits in bed with us,

and he'll have her, like, on his chest, and he'll be like, what are we going to do? I can't even do it. I did it for an ad, like, a voiceover, and they're like, we can't have that. That's not going to work. They're like, we can't humanize a dog, so we have to move that. No, we do it, too, and I'll usually say, that's not Copper's voice. That's not what he sounds like, I don't know what it is. But we're like, hi, honey, how's he going?

You're doing good today? Minno likes it. She comes towards you. that's exactly Hi honey how's it going like the ears for a long time we'll talk like that

yeah yeah Miner do you like onto Rachel's voice Rachel I will say you have one of the best voices like listening back on the podcast I'm so jealous of your voice Brian says it's soothing too It is it's so soothing

Oh well thank you It's a good one Thank you You don't have like the Midwest accent like I do So I'm jealous My southern accent comes out sometimes so when I'm drinking and, you know, it's like the draw. It's nice.

I like it. I feel like I was just hitting on you. No, guys, thank you so much for being here. I think I love when, you know, when we have our voice, it's great. And we have guests come on, but it's so great to have the male opinion. It is. But then also just like our significant others here and we can just talk on a completely different level. So we love having you here.

That means you have to come back. Honestly, Becca, I don't think they have a choice. They don't. You will be back here. We're their secretary. So we'll make the schedule. We'll match women. But I love these times that we have together.

And I hope you guys enjoyed listening as well. I hope you learned something. Not just about the batch of franchise, not just about the background of our relationships, but just how to navigate this thing called life and having a successful relationship. And we're just giving you our tools and what helped us.

That doesn't mean that it's the same thing for you. You have to kind of figure out this yourself. So anyways, thanks for tuning in. We hope you come back next week. Of course, we're going to have a fantastic episode for you. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation,

we're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday

and cancer-free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop.

Professionally, I started at Deadwell Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open.

The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you're get your podcast. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. This is an IHeart podcast.