Bachelor Happy Hour - LIVE from the ‘Men Tell All’

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

Joe and Serena are live from the “Men Tell All”! In a round of post-show interviews, John B., Sean, Adrian, Xavier, Brayden, and the Bachelorette herself stop by to discuss everything that went down during the show and provide clarity to the unanswered questions we all still have. Was Xavier really ever ready for an engagement? Did Sean’s impromptu hot seat moment land like he hoped it would? Who from Bachelor Nation has caught John B.’s attention? Tune in now to find out!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts.

Now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What's up, Bachelor Nation? We are back and we are live from the Mentel All. Another episode of Happy Hour. It's me, Joe, and Serena. And Serena. And we have John B here with us as well. John B is our first guest of the night.

We have a lot of people coming on. A whole lineup of men. And from what I'm being told right now, John, you have some fans trying to get photos coming right now, right? Yeah, it's been amazing. It's been overwhelming, but I love it. How overall, what was your favorite moment of tonight? Of tonight, I mean, seeing Gary was incredible.

The heartfelt story, I mean, what he had with his, you know, passed away wife, that's what I'm looking for. In fact that he was already able to experience that and his back to doing it again, I think is an inspiration for us all. And he was looking for advice from us, but like, dude, she has all the advice. Like, I want to learn from that guy. Like, that guy's done it before. Yeah. Yeah, it was a cute conversation because he was looking to you guys being like, what am I getting myself into? And you guys were looking at him being like, Gary, like, we want advice from you. So I feel like it was a lot of fun to have him come out and be able to be there with you guys tonight.

I'm upset. He, uh, yeah, he was on this podcast and he did the same. He asked us for advice and my arrogant ass was like, all right, I'll give you advice. Like, let's go. Ask him to advice. What about, um, with charity, you feel like you got closure tonight? Yeah, I think I did. Um, you know, I was really surprised when I got let go and I think a lot of the audience was too.

And I just kind of wanted to get insight on to if she was seeing the same things that I was saying, you know, because like, am I that lack of self-awareness where I thought things were going one way and she thought I was going somewhere totally different. But it is fair. Like, the guys remaining were really great guys and I love them. And at the end of the day, she just didn't see me as somebody who she was going to go to hometowns with. And that makes sense, you know. And so, you know, I'm not going to be everyone's favorite. I put myself out there. I was as vulnerable as possible. And I think that's all I can really ask myself. So I'm proud of what I put in. And obviously it didn't work out, but I think my person's still out there.

way to get back out there eventually. All right. Obviously, you can't tease anything, so we don't know if you went to Paradise or not. But are there any girls within Bachelor Nation that you are interested in? Any girl? Ooh, that's spicy. I mean, there's a lot of beautiful women. I think that there's a lot of some individuals from Zach's season that I think are very beautiful.

That hypothetically, if I were to go to paradise, I would be interested in there. But we'll see, I'm open to really anything. I don't think I have a particular type. And I think it's all really about the connection. And so as long as the connections there, I think everything else will come with it. So that's kind of what I'm looking for. You know, if I do end up meeting all of them, I know San Diego is kind of the hot spot. I'm kind of the opposite side in New York.

But if I get a chance to meet some of them, hopefully a spark can happen because, yeah, I think all of them would be a great fit. Well, that was a sweet and bullshit answer. So give us some names here. All right. I want a name, John. Just give me a name. I just want to know your type.

Yeah, I think that Mercedes is beautiful. I think she's definitely one that was on the list. There was a girl from a few seasons ago, Jasmine Wynn. It was a while back. I thought she was really beautiful. I don't know if she's still kind of in the Bachelor Nation realm, but I thought that she was cool. And Rachel, Rachel, as well.

I didn't get to see her season as much because it wasn't on Hulu for some reason, but I think she's pretty cute, too. So there's a lot of good girls out there. Nice. Okay. That's all I want it. That's all I wanted. Thanks, John.

Thank you so much. I was like a lot. And you are, you said you live in New York? I do. I moved there 11 months ago. Nice. Where, what part? What area?

So I'm in Gramercy, but I'm actually moving to Phi Dye next week. So a little more space out there. Yeah. We're in New York. We're like Chelsea. Yeah. Okay. Great area.

Love that area. Yeah. We like it too. Um, okay. What, uh, what else we got? Any other dating questions? Um, I just want to hear more about your thoughts on the night. Was there anything going into tonight that happened that was like super unexpected? I know there was a lot of braiding conversation and you obviously had kind of like a heated conversation right before he left. Do you guys feel like you kind of moved past that? Squashed any beef between you guys? Yeah, I think that the guys were pretty mature about everything. Um, I didn't fully expect Peter to be there. And, and, bring up what he brought up and I caught me a little bit off guard because you know although I didn't participate in the FP thing I did well I did play a pretty big role in him being a villain you know just you know making fun of him at some points because he he really steered me the wrong way that that first night and I think it was a

little bit out of character for me to focus so much and beat off oh no kind of hit on a guy who's yeah sorry you just beat up So, Jappy is beaten off. And this is why I didn't make it, you know? That is funny. That right there is going to be the clip that we're using for the industry. That's what gets people with. No, I think.

It's tired, guys. It's been a long mental. Out of character for me a little bit. So I did apologize to him afterwards. But yeah, I hope that we can all just move past a lot of the drama. At the end of the day, I mean, these guys ended up being some of my best friends. And I've always, you know, these are the brothers that I never had that always wanted. And so I really appreciate them.

And although we had some drama, I think that we can almost pass this wrong with. And yeah. Who out of the guys would you say you're closest with? You know, I would say Joey, but Joey went on the podcast and he didn't say my name and he did text me afterwards and he's like, I'm so sorry I forgot you. No, Joey's with my voice. It is a hard question. I remember being put on the spot where they're like, what girls are you closest with?

And you're like, oh my gosh, I'm trying to run through the list. And if I miss someone, you feel so bad. But it's okay, rile them off. And if you miss one, we won't hold you accountable. So on my Bachelor nation questionnaire, I put Joey, Warwick, and James. And that was 100% true. Two guys that I think would have definitely would have added to that is Zay, Xavier, and Tanner. And Sean, too.

I mean, like I said, I became friends with all of them. But those guys really stood out. Those are guys who I would travel anywhere to be with them. And just, you know, definitely going to be best friends throughout the rest of our lives. Wow. The real love story. It's true. That's the only love story that I take way with this, but I'll take it. What are your thoughts on Xavier's exit? Oh, man. I mean, I talked to Xavier a little bit beforehand, so I kind of knew what was coming.

But, man, that dude dug himself a grave. That is tough. Like, he didn't need a shovel. He was digging his own hole. Yeah, I mean, I love the guy. I think that Xavier didn't say the words that he wanted to. didn't come off the way he wanted to. He's genuinely a good guy. Like, nothing apart from this whole journey has made me think that he's anything

other than a stand-up guy. But, yeah, he obviously said the wrong things and charity was extremely valid for sending him home. If send that to me, I would have no affirmations about that person, right? So I totally get, we're both coming from. I think Zay wishes he would have been able to do it again,

but I think he's going to learn from this and be a better person for it. So I think, you know, it happens. John, we were huge. fans of you this season. We're so glad we got the chance to chat with you. And thanks for coming on to Happy Hour today. Absolutely. I appreciate you guys. Thanks for taking the time. All right. Up in the batters box, everyone, we have the one and only hot John. Hot Sean, how are we feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm so good. I actually been listening to you all. And when we

and Fran brought that up to you, I was like, oh my God, there's no way. They're talking about hot Sean on the show. But yeah, that was a past life. I'm feeling pretty good. It's great to be on here with y'all. How long has it been since you've heard someone call you hot Sean? It's been a while. So when I interned at Barstall, I was like just turned 21. Like I was still in college living in New York City. And how that came about is like I went in the office the first day and all the interns are like social media people. They like did the vice-roy program for the colleges. And Dave picked me out of the bunch immediately. And he's like, who the hell is this kid? Like what is he doing here? Pulled me up in front of the cameras. Like you're too good looking

to work here and then it's stuck. So I haven't heard that in a long time. It brought back some memories, funny memories. Like, we and Fran. I think I had two conversations with them and they were talking about it. I'm like, I cannot believe this coming out right now. That's so funny. Wow, your worlds have really collide. Collided. Collided. Collided. Moved from Barstole. You were almost there. I was supposed I was one syllable away. But from Barstool to Bachelor Nation, how do you feel like tonight went? I think so that went well. I was expecting some fireworks. There's definitely some moments there that were like, oh, okay, like Aaron S had some had some one-liners that were pretty intense. But I think it went well. I mean, like truthfully, we did have such an amazing

group of guys here and we all got pretty close. There were some moments there. We had to talk about some stuff that was unfinished and especially regarding the Braden drama. But it was fun to be out there. It was fun to see the guys again. And I think we put on a good show. I actually really liked what you said at the end with Braden when you, you, you said, you said if he would have just leaned in just a little bit. Because I do agree with that. I thought that was pretty spot on. How about with charity?

You feel like you have closure with her? Yeah. And I went up there and like I wanted to go up and tell her to her face. Yeah, what compelled you to do that? Did you feel like the invite was open? Or were you just like, I'm taking my moment here. I want to sit next to her and have this conversation. Yeah.

I played it out. And like when I was thinking about what I want to say, because I thought about what question I'd asked for a long time. I kept coming back to, like, she was born in heart. Like, there's nothing that I can ask that's going to change the situation. So in my mind, I'm like, I'm going to ask Ryan come up and tell her. I just want to say thank you. And like, you were amazing.

Like, truly just an incredible person. And I got so much out of this experience. And truly because she was the person on the other end. And I thought it was going to be like very easy. She'd be like, yeah, come up. Like, I'll give you a big hug. Didn't go that way, but I was already like committed. But I was like, you know what?

Like, I don't have any questions. Like, you were amazing. I want you to know that. Like, I know she was real. There's moments we had off camera that people didn't get a chance to see. But, like, I know she was real. She's being yourself. So, like, I wanted to, like, tell her that not, like, sitting back with the guys, like,

looking in the eye. But it was a little bit awkward there, but I think I recovered a little bit. I agree. I agree. It was a bold move. And we were definitely like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's Hot Chong going? Sit back down.

But I think it was a nice gesture and it came from a nice place. And I will say when Charity came on our podcast, she did say that there was so much more to your guys relationship than people saw, which was nice for us to hear. Because I feel like not a lot was shown, except for like the fun makeouts and the drama between you guys and you and the guys. Yeah. And that was like the one thing watching it back was like, I remember, I remember how I fell in the moments. And I remember what we talked about in like some of the deeper conversation that we had where ultimately we're a TV show, you can't show everything. So like when I made it to New Orleans, like the outcry for like John B and like everyone there. And it's

like I love John V as like the best guy in the world, but like I knew that we had a strong connection. I knew that it was great. I wish people got a chance to see some of those conversations because I think they're incredibly special and you know, definitely made a lasting impact on my experience there. But yeah, it's one of those things.

Like you gotta get a roll the punches and you just think about like how you felt in those moments. So it was a shock to some people that I made that far and like at the end when like I'm kind of professing my feelings towards her, they're like, how could you feel that way? If you were there sitting in some of the conversations we had and some of the time to spend,

you kind of get an understanding why I felt that way. When you did that, how did you think it was going to go? Just like when I went up on stage there, I thought it was going to go a little differently. We like the honesty. Yeah. Yeah. And just to kind of give you an idea of where I was at in my mind, like, the entire time you go through not trying to base your connections with any other the guys, you can only go how you're feeling about charity and like the relationship you had. So going into New Orleans, like, I felt like so strongly,

because she's like right in front of the camera right now too, but like felt so great about how it's like us and where we were at. Like what people don't really know is like I was single for six years before going on this show. So I didn't have an emotional connection with anybody. So I feel like when I felt that, it's like I felt the whole thing where I felt so connected to her. Like I was there for a reason. Like I leaned into the process and like this is where I'm supposed to be.

So like I'm going in about to go to hometown. It's like, hadn't had a one-on-one yet. I was so hopeful for that moment, like, to get that and to not get it, it just spirals a little bit. So then you get put on a two-on-one date, and then it's like, I don't know what's going on. I love Tanner. It wasn't that awkward because we're boys, but it is a unique situation where you're not only carrying a conversation with charity, but you're carrying a conversation with Tanner. So, like, we're trying not to step on each other's toes, and we're trying to make the best of the situation, but then to, like, come back from that date and then still be in the same spot I was in. It kind of made me smile a little bit.

And, like, I probably should have went about the conversation with her a little bit differently. Whereas, like, I was still willing to, like, fight because I think that in the moment, like, I felt she was worth fighting for. And, like, I really thought that the hometowns would, I don't know. I thought they were going to be special. I thought they would be able to, for us to get a chance to make up some of the time we hadn't had. And I probably should have been a little bit more respectful of where she was at in the journey, about to go to hometowns. And probably understood it a little bit more from her angle. I mean, listen, you took a shot and it didn't pay off, but you would be kicking yourself if you didn't do it.

Yeah. I like hearing your perspective on these situations because I feel like you've done a few things throughout the season that we've been like, whoa, Hotchon, what are you doing? And hearing your perspective on them really just gives context and makes me like, oh, I totally get that. Like, I totally understand what he was thinking in that moment and why he went about doing that. like even you talking about on the Barbie date coming in and singing and being like let's do shots like hearing you be like I left that date on such a high I thought we were all still going to be there I'm like that totally makes sense to me now why he did that so I'm glad we had you on today yeah last last question before before you go what are you looking for now

in a partner yeah that's a it's a great question I think one of the best parts about this experience is like you get into a situation where you start thinking about what you want in life and what you wanted a partner. And before I went here, like, I kind of focused on the physical action. It's like, that was first for me. It's like, hey, I have to be, like, attracted to this person. Like, being here, I started to look about, hey, like, what do I want in a light? Typical, right?

Tip a hot shot. It's not, though. And that's like this opportunity, like, changed my perspective about it. Because, like, that's probably why I haven't been able to have a relationship. Because I was thinking about stuff on the outside. When in turn, I really want to have someone that's kind and compassionate to be able to give the love that, like, my. parents gave me. I want someone that I can laugh with and have a good time with. And like,

that's what I look for now. I'm still out there. I'm still looking for it. But this was really an incredible journey. And I'm glad I got a chance to sit with you guys and tell you a little bit more about my side of things because most people had the same reactions that you guys did. Like, oh, this is, you know, he's kind of like a cocky asshole sometimes. But there is a sensitive side to me where like, I think people, once they get a chance to know me, they'll, they'll see it. So I never thought you were a cocky asshole. I actually, I mean, honestly, I watched it. And there was a few moments where I'm like, I think, you have a real shot. But I was wrong like you. It didn't work out. But, but Sean, honestly,

thank you for coming on. We really appreciate you taking the time. Yeah. Thank you so much. It was great to have you here. Absolutely. It was great to meet you guys. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, God. Hey, hi. How are you? Congratulations tonight. You did amazing. Thanks. Oh, you want to sit? You want to sit out? I'll stand up. There we go. Yeah, you give me this. Yeah. There we go. What a gentleman. All right, next up, we have. We got the Bachelorette, a spontaneous interview. Nice. I'm crashing interviews.

Who am I? Oh, look at you. Oh, look at you. What's up, Charity? I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier. upon someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to

choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say like, like go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling is screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long time, allow Republicans to play them.

So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that, and that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Asman Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on next question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change. change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen, not just to my constituents,

but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers.

I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten, Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push, to make your next pivot.

Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts, now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. How are you guys? I'm feeling good.

It was a good time, in that. You did great. What were some highlights for you? Honestly, I think obviously seeing all of the guys and just getting ready to like, or getting the opportunity to clear the air, and talk about everything, meeting the bachelorette's, we're seeing the OGs, like, Trista, Dez, and Deanna.

And then obviously, I think I had really one difficult conversation tonight, which was with Xavier, but I felt like it really went well. We got the closure and clarity, I think, that we both needed. It was difficult, but necessary, so, yeah. Yes, and you have that knitted rose to forever remember that conversation. I do. I was like, thank you for this. I'm sure if you are with somebody now, they're probably going to be like, yeah, throw that fucking rose.

Yeah, exactly. You have your finale's coming up. Anything you want to tease? Ooh, my God. It's just lots of tears. Tears everywhere. It's going to be crazy. There's going to be a plot twist, I think,

that a lot of us probably aren't really expecting. And then, again, like I said, It's just, like, really just emotional because at that point in the journey, I think we've already seen it. I've said it several times in, like, the previews, just like being in a place where I'm in love with two people and having that reach a decision. So that part, it's never easy, but, yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be an emotional rat for sure.

As much as it's going to be hard to watch the finale and ride that wave, are you excited for the season to be done? How are you feeling about it? I'm so excited. I mean, if I'm giving it away, I don't care. I'm happy so I'm ready As long as you're happy That's all that matters

That was the goal of this show Was for you to be happy Exactly Quick Quick Xavier question And then I have one more question At that Xavier if he would have had that

conversation with you On his first one-on-one How do you think that would have went If he still Because you know When he was like yes I I don't want to

on you. If he would have, if he would have ended it, then do you think you would have kept them around? Yeah. I would have. And that's just, I mean, it's plain and simple. It's like, I work with the information that I get in those moments and in those conversations. So that's the tricky part of just being in this like position is like I don't feel like at all times I'm getting everything that I need. And that's up to me to also like ask these questions. So I think obviously without even knowing, like, that was a part of his past. I did ask about past relationships, and, like, that never came up. Like, I asked all the questions about his relationships.

He never thought, like, oh, this is something that I need to share with charity. And I understand that it's a difficult conversation, but, like, it was a little, I told him. I thought it was a little selfish, like withhold that for me up into that point because, for one, someone else could have been in that position that I had a connection with, whether or not that person was going to be my forever person. it doesn't matter. It's like you're now wasting my time and you're wasting a space. But then also it's just, why didn't you share that? And it was the questions that followed up after. It was never the fact that like, oh, this was something that a mistake was made in the past. I told him

time and time again. Like I commend you for like opening up about this, but like it's everything that came after. Like the follow up questions that I had for him that he just continued to like dig a deeper hole. Yeah. I mean, that all that all makes sense. It checks out. Joe approves of that answer, I guess. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And then the other one was, I think, his name, the cowboy Caleb, Caleb, right? Mm-hmm.

But you're like, toot your own hoard there. Oh, my God, Joe was cracking. What was he talking? He was like, I was the best at everything. Yeah, like, it was him, I guess he wanted to get, like, the praise from me, like, MVP of all the group dates. I mean, yes, I think everyone did great on group dates. But like, obviously for each group date, like there's a group date, Rose, we know. But then the only group dates that he was on was the dodge ball.

And then I think the ones he's really referring to is dodge ball and then the Barbie group date. But it's like, I don't know what he really expected my answer to be. It was like, yes, it was great. Your performances was fantastic. But I mean, like, do you want a trophy for it? I don't know. This is an American Idol. That's what I'm saying.

So I'm like, I'm not handing at roses based on Dodge It's the best vocal. I'm sorry. I'm looking also for connection and just like other things. All right. Last question and then we'll let you go. If you are with somebody, what's the first thing you guys are going to do in public? Yeah. So if I am engaged and happily happy, I would love to go to perhaps maybe a concert. I love music. So I think that's something I'll check off my list right away. Okay, biggest surprise of the night to end it off. Yeah.

Biggest surprise of the night. I mean, I wasn't expecting to get that rose from Xavier. So that was like, I was like, what's happening? He was like, I got to go get something. I was like, please, I don't want any surprises. So, yes, it was a surprise to me. Yes. No hand in it.

I appreciate it, but yeah. Yes, a surprising gesture all around for sure. Just a little too late. A little too late, sorry about that, buddy. Maybe give it to Caleb if he still wants a rose. You know what? That's a splendid idea. Are they still here? All right, Charity. Thank you again for coming on, and I'm going to take a guess that you'll probably be on again. I think so. So I will be getting with you guys soon.

All right. All right. Don't take care. Bye. Adrian, how are you? I'm well. How about you? I'm doing good. I'm doing good. How do you feel tonight went for you in particular? I feel like it went well. I feel like it was great to see the guys. It was great to see charity again. I feel like it went well. I had a good time to do.

Good. Do you feel that you had a connection at all with charity while you were on the show? We were building a connection. I know it. didn't show much, but we were building a connection. We had a great time. But I do feel like my actions probably did distract that from getting a little stronger, especially saying that she kind of already had a connection with Braden. So it was stronger. I just feel like if I would have done it differently, I probably would have waited, if at all, to say anything about anything else that was going on. But as far as me and her, I feel like the time we have, had was great. We talked about my daughter, you know, she embraced it and, you know, said

she wanted to lean into the process of that, you know, and that was great. So we were building a great foundation, I think, based on vulnerability and honesty. And yeah. So that is that one thing you do regret would be bringing up Braden at all to charity. You feel like that just, you just I don't regret it. I don't regret it because my intentions were pure. I wasn't really anything wrong. That was just the truth of the matter, which everyone got to see later, which no one is circling back San Adrian was trying to save everybody the drama. I just was the first one to see it. And it was just pretty much like, hey, look, I know that you're focused on trying to find the right one, but it's also great to weed out the wrong ones right away. So I was just

basically letting her know what my intentions were, why I was here. And also, So what I also saw and what was going on and people that were doubting the process and not really into it shouldn't be here. So that's what it was about. But if I was to do it again, I probably would have done it, but just differently. But I definitely would have still been honest. I still would have been vulnerable with her and let her know why I'm here. So, yeah, I don't regret anything. If she sent me home, it wasn't because of that.

it was just because we didn't have a strong enough connection. So whether that was because of the information or not, I think it would have been the same result. Nice. Yeah, I respect that. So tonight we did have a big surprise as viewers with the Peter drama, who I believe went home night one, read a lot of guys the wrong way, and then we kind of saw that all unfold in front of our eyes.

Can you kind of shed a little more light on what that situation was? maybe why he upset everyone and how that led to the in-stream caption? Yeah, so people, like, had a bad interaction with Peter. I did not personally, but he's cool. Like, I didn't talk too much to him. But everyone was saying that he was rude in the way that, you know, he was treating everybody. And so everyone was like, yeah, like, forget that guy, you know? So, like, that was just kind of like the running joke of, like, you know, forget Peter, you know.

like that's just what it was and a couple of the guys did you know the instagram thing or whatever which i think they shouldn't have but it is what it is it was all fun in games and um i just don't understand that if the guys did take responsibility and apologize for why that wasn't the end of it you know like i get it you can feel the way you feel but you know just go back and talk to the guys and say hey i appreciate it but it really made me feel away or whatever the case may be but don't say, hey, I appreciate and accept your apology and then still be upset about it. So he, so there was a conversation where an apology was given prior to the mental all. Yes, that's what I'm here. And then he came back. So do you think the guys were surprised

that he was there bringing it back up, rehashing all of this? Yeah, we were all surprised that he was even here because he went home night one. Like, why, like, what's going on? Why are you here? But obviously, you know, that was, you know, why. You know, I went home night one, Adrian. Did you? Yeah. I do. Yeah.

Yeah, but I didn't get, you know, I didn't get any fuck grocery store Joe's. No, you didn't. You got lucky. I got lucky. Are you wrong? Did you ride the wrong way? No, but I do sympathize with him because that night is so hectic. and if you are somebody that has anxiety and does get, you know, extremely nervous,

you could come off, standoffish when in reality maybe you're just in your own head or you're just very nervous. So I can see the guys maybe taking his attitude is like this guy thinks he's better, but maybe in reality he was just, maybe he's an introvert. I think it was what he was saying, though. Like Caleb said that he literally, he went to shake his hand. He literally looked him in his eyes. and walked away. He walked up and told Dotton, which is the tallest guy in the house.

Oh, I'll dunk on you. It was just crazy. I'm like, what? No one's dunking on Dunton. I'm like, why would you say that? Like, what is happening? Like, that's crazy. That's a way. He's like, six, eight. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, why would you just say that? So I think it was just like he was maybe just trying to. So I don't know. Alfa mail it a little bit. Exactly. So I think that's what it was. But to, to your point, I don't feel like he deserve, you know, to be, you know, fuck Peter or anything like that. I definitely feel like he did not deserve that. But at the end of the day, if the people who did it wanted to apologize and step in front of it, you know, I think that's commendable. But he does have the

right to feel, you know, how he feels about it. Totally. It was definitely one of the more surprising moments of the night for us. Was there anything else tonight that really shocked you in a good wear a bad way, like a standout moment? Anything that shocked me. The only thing that shocked me was the end when I got a chance to meet the Golden Bachelor. Yeah, you guys all seemed super excited to me, Gary, as you should be.

That was crazy, but it was just kind of crazy because, you know, we're all in this position, you know, and he's the Golden Bachelor. Just to see that it's like almost like he's like our it's like aspirational yeah you know he did 43 years as married like it's like wow you've really done it like and granted like it's not even over yet for him

you know and it's like we all aspired to have something that lasts that long and we just got out of a situation where we're trying to make something work just for 43 days you know he made something work for 43 years is crazy and it's like you know he makes you um you know especially for me that

you know I didn't make it through this process It's like, just don't give up on love. Just keep going and, you know, true love is out there. And also, you guys are example of that, right? So far, so good. We're two years in, you know? We've got 40 more to go to catch up to Gary. Don't downplayed.

We're married. That's true. What are you doing now? Are you dating? Are you actively dating? What's up with your love life? I've been kind of like just focused on like, just like my career and my daughter, have a daughter.

Yeah. But I've been trying to get into the dating game and trying to date right now. Nice. And if sometimes they do have, you do seem like one of the guys that has watched the show a little bit before you went on. You had an idea of what it was because there's so many guys that come on this pocket. I've never watched the show. That's so stressful. Why did you go on it?

Wait, let's confirm. Had you watched a little bit of the show before you went on? I did not. You did not. Joe, you just made an assumption and then you talked shit. Jeez. I did not. Okay. Would.

Okay, wait. But then that will lead us into a different question. Do you feel like you wish you had? Because we've been discussing a lot this season about if it's better to go on blind or not. No, I don't think it's, I think you should watch it. Because if I would have watched it, I would have went about things a little differently. I went into it less like a normal relationship like, oh, I'm just going to try to talk and just, but I don't think that's the answer all the time. I feel like if I would have

watched that, I would have a little bit like, oh, okay, this is how this works, you know, because I was watching too, seeing like what a lot of people were saying about my actions and everything, like, no, he doesn't watch the show. I was like, no, I don't know. Don't he know that's the bad? I'm like, no, I don't. You know, so, you know, I do wish I probably would have watched the show for sure. Yeah. I agree. I don't know why I thought you did, but you didn't, and hopefully next time you do. Adrian, thank you so much. We appreciate you taking the time and it was fun watching you tonight. Yes, it was great meeting you. We're wishing you all the best. Thanks for coming on. I see you guys. Have a great night. You too. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the

psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like, you're not going to choose an adapted strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say, like, go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy.

It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just, like, walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. denial is easier, drinking is easier, yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long time, allow Republicans to play them.

So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that. and that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on Next Question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense.

It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers.

I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten. Monica Patton. Elaine Welter-A. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes.

and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay, everyone, please welcome Xavier. He probably had the most serious conversation tonight. How you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm glad to. have been able to bring this to a close so that I can kind of move on from this and be able to truly grow, even more so that I've been growing in the last couple of months.

Yeah, that's, yeah, I mean, closure is definitely important. And, yeah, I mean, we're not looking to, you know, put you through the ringer right now, but we do have to ask a few questions. One of the things I really wanted to ask, when you did have that first one-on-off, one with charity. Is there a part of you now that wishes maybe you would have brought this up then? I wouldn't say, I just wasn't ready to have that conversation in the moment because, you know, you guys all know how this kind of like happens when you get a one-on-one.

There's things moving around. And so it was kind of like really tough for me to like bring that. and open up in that way, because I kind of wasn't ready to do that. Yeah, I think that's fair. When you did decide to go on the show, was that something that you knew that you would eventually have to bring up, or were you not even looking that far into what was about to happen? I didn't even know that it was truly, like, an issue. I had not admit that to anybody before, you know, so, like,

When she was asking me questions, I was just like, I didn't expect those questions to kind of like, you know, I didn't expect those questions and I didn't prepare for those questions. I think the answers I gave were not great answers. They actually were answers that, you know, don't reflect who I am as an end and like, you know, don't really reflect what I want to be in the future for my future life. Yeah, it was just kind of like a very humbling and like learning moment, I guess, in that. But I just took it so seriously because I truly believe that, you know, she could be my forever person. I wanted us to have those difficult discussions so that, you know, we could make the right decision for both of us. Going through this season, I don't know if you knew her feelings about this. while you were there, but watching it back, you can obviously see she had a lot of back and forth with is Xavier ready, you know, this reminding her of her ex-boyfriend, all of these things. And we kind of saw this struggle of like, is he ready? Is he not ready? Like even as the audience, it was kind of like,

is he ready? Is he not ready? Looking back, do you feel confident that no, I was ready? Or do you at all question if you were ready? So in my heart, like there was no doubt. I was like, I can get on me, but my head, having the scientific brain that I do, I was just like, this is crazy. Like, being in this position and, like, feeling that sort of way. Like, I cannot tell you, I've never, like, had that sort of dichotomy between my heart and my head in my life before. So it was, like, really confusing for me. And I, you know, I want to meet my forever person. I want to be married.

And I want to do that. And truly, I think I am ready for that commitment. But I think it was just the time frame and the environment. It was just a lot going on, I'll be honest. I can really sympathize with that, that internal struggle of like, I love this person, but oh, my God, what are we about to do? So would you kind of – She's not settling less for anything less than engagement. So you're not going to pull out as your girlfriend.

Yeah, no, you're not leaving with a girlfriend. You're leaving with a fiance or you're leaving with nothing. And probably most of your dating life you've always, you know, just thought logically. Like we were very logic people. So the thought of, you know, I'm about to get engaged and potentially marry this person is it's heavy for sure. Yeah. All the variables that in like, you know, the previous history of like sometimes it doesn't work out. Like there was that fear there too, you know. And I told her like, look, I want to get engaged once and I just want to make sure it's right.

And yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Looking back on that conversation and watching it back, is there anything specifically that you're like, I wish I'd done that differently or said that differently? Yeah, I wish I would have been able to deliver, like, and that, like, made more sense about how I felt instead of, like, just kind of, like, answering from my head. just like not truly internalizing the question but like you know everything happens for a reason

and it just like wasn't our time so yeah yeah and it the I mean the past is the past and you got to move on and as long as you learn from it I mean that's that's all you can really ask for right do you feel like now you are you are ready like you're ready to take that step with someone I think right now I have to heal and plus I still have that's fair for this person so like I'm really truly just trying to heal in a way that is like good and bright and I'll know when that moment is like when my dad always told me like you know when you know well he told me at the at the hometown you know and so yeah I think I I'm going to stress that advice. Yes. Can't confirm. That is true. You do when you know, you know. But I will say, did you come

into tonight with any goals or things that were really important to you? And do you feel like you accomplish those things? Yeah, I think my goal was just to kind of get some closure on it to make sure that she knew I wasn't there for the wrong reasons. And I genuinely like had these feelings for her. And I wasn't trying to be manipulative. in any way. I wanted to make sure that she knew that and that just to kind of bring this all to a head. Yeah, I've been ruminating like for months now, but I think we're able to clear that up and, you know, everything's cool now. Nice. All right. Well, would you, I don't, obviously don't spoil anything because we don't know if you go to Paradise or not. But would you consider

going on another dating show. I have to do my research on it because, like, not going to lie, like, some of the things I was like, wait, what is happening right now? I had no, like, yeah, that environment was definitely tough. I would definitely do a lot more research about what I'm getting into. Did you watch the show at all before you went on it? I watched this up to a certain point. I didn't know that, I'll be honest, like, I didn't know fantasy suit.

was the deadline for, like, the engagement. I'm like, wait, I thought, you know. You're like, I thought we had a few more weeks. What's happening? Hey, you're next. Yeah. I think. All right.

Xavier, thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate. Braden's crashing this interview right now, so we're going to have to wrap up. It is for our listeners, you know, it's a mess right now. It's the tell all. They're all happy. just got done with their season. So it's a little chaotic. Xavier, thank you so much. We appreciate you. And wishing you the best. Thanks again. Thank you so much for talking to me.

Have a good one. Braden, Braden, welcome. It's nice to have you back. One thing I do not want to talk about are your earrings that everyone talks about. It's your style. It's a thing. You like it. Good for you. We know you wear earrings. I see you wearing a collar shirt too, man. You're looking good. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, you are wearing a colored shirt. Thank you. What's up?

How's it going? It's going good, man. It's nice to see you guys. I heard you guys finally tied the knot, right? Or is that coming up soon? We did tie the knot this past October, but we're having the ceremony in September. Yeah. It's coming up.

But no, everything's been good out here, man. It's a lot tonight, but it was fun. Were you prepared going in of like how much it was going to be? going to be. I feel like I talked a lot. I just, I mean, you did, but there was a lot to talk about surrounding you and your name. I mean, listen, you are like on the show. You are one of the main, the main, even when you were gone, people were still talking about you, which honestly, it's not, you know, it's not the worst thing in the world. No, it's not. I mean, it was definitely cool to be able to, like, have, like, you know, a time to be able to explain myself a little bit and kind of

let people know, like, where I was coming from. Um, I hope I got that across. I'm not sure. Um, but I mean, we'll see. We'll see what people say. I mean, listen, I, I, I've, I've been one to say that I like you. I think, I think you are yourself. Um, I think you're, you're, you're authentic, so you're very fun to watch. Uh, I did, I never really agree with hot Sean, but, but what the hat Sean said was, and I, I, I did vocalize this. a little on the podcast, where I do kind of wish you just maybe leaned in a little bit. Like a little, because it did seem like towards the end, you were just so like, I'm done. Like, no, no, no, no.

Do you have any regrets about that or are you just? It's definitely something I'm apologetic about. Like, I think, though, if I had to say sorry for anything in the whole experience is the fact I couldn't just get myself to just lean in more. Yeah. And even watching the episodes back and seeing how much charity did like me and like, you know, having that, like getting to see her ITMs and the way she talked about me and like all that stuff, it was just, I don't know, it was definitely, it was hard because like when you're in the moment, you don't see that. You don't get to hear that. You know what I mean? You don't, you know, and so I definitely, I felt like sometimes the heat that I might have been getting from the guys. I felt like sometimes like maybe I thought I was getting it from her. And so it was kind of just like those labels were crossing. It was hard for me to really just dive into the experience when I was having. you know um how was it seeing charity and tonight and having a conversation with her um it was cool um it was i don't know i definitely i definitely sense a little like frustration with me still um

to be honest uh which it's which is tough but i mean it's i don't blame her like i understand like i was a frustrating person for her and it sucks to say it sucks to know that i'm a i was a frustrating person for her journey um but i i'm grateful for the fact that i got to have that connection with her um it was cool because it like it really just it got me back to this place when i was young like similar where i was when i was younger where it's like i wanted to date to get married and so it's like it definitely has kind of changed my focus since leaving where it's like you know i i i realize that's something i really want you know what i mean so it was kind of cool to have that kind of like reawakening i

would say and i'm really grateful to her for uh for that and for getting me that place and so um i don't know i'm excited for the future whatever that holds but um yeah yeah we're gonna uh we're to talk about that. But I do want to just touch on real quick. You, you know, asking charity about the TikTok, the clown, whatever, her response to that. Are you, are you happy with that? I mean, like she said, it was just a joke. I mean, I know there's always truth and jest, you know what I mean? That's always that, like, there's always that saying. And I think that there was a little bit more truth to her that maybe, like, that she felt about that, that she didn't really dive into.

Don't blame her for not willing to dive into it. But it was definitely something when I saw, definitely just like, it was, you know, definitely, you know, fell me out a little bit. Because, again, like, I felt like when I was with her, every interaction I had with her was very intentional, very, like, I was genuinely, like, putting myself out there, trying to be vulnerable to her about stuff.

And so I never intended to come off as a clown to her. I know that, you know, maybe when I was around the guys, I joked around a lot, and, you know, that's not a good look or something, But it's hard because, again, like, I'm the type of person where I'm going to enjoy the experience whenever I'm in, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So, I definitely, I don't know. I got what I got.

You know, I can't throw a fit. You get what you get. You can't throw a fit. You got to move on. Yeah. You got to move on. You came, you asked, you got an answer, and that's as much as you're going to get at the Menthal all. So it's time to move forward.

Exactly. So how, so we see the trailer for Paradise. Yes. Spoiler alert. Yes. You're there. You are there. Now, did you have any, I guess, did you think about it at all? Do you have any doubts going into paradise? Yeah. I mean, when I originally left the show, I was, I left in a very heated environment. And I told him, like, I was like, I'm never coming back. Don't call me. Don't reach out to me. Like, you guys are not going to get anything from me. I was literally like, they've never heard that before. I was I was so heated when I left. I was like, don't even call me. And like, and then it was like, I think it was like, three or it was like three weeks three or four weeks and they finally they like reached out to me they gave me some cooling off period which is nice and then when they reached out to me I just told him I was like yeah like you know let me talk to my family about it let me you know I want to just

rush into something else like I don't know if I can handle this and they're like it's entirely different from the bachelorette you know it'll be a totally new you know new environment not the same you know I think it'll be much more your speed and so I thought about it and there's definitely something I was like okay like you know I did it once maybe maybe this time will be it you know so we'll have to see can you before we let you go Can you tease anything for Paradise outside of the teaser? The teaser that we saw with you and Kat iso? Let's see. I definitely, sorry, I'm looking at my, I'm looking at the publicist making sure I'm not saying anything bad.

But let's just say, you need one of those. You need a publicist full day actually. Just following you around full time. I know, dude. It saved me so much, so much struggle. but I would say I opened myself up and allowed myself I allowed for the possibility

of being hurt that's good great that's how you gotta do it also your best your best line of the night not even line but just call out was the fact that there was no fucking driver in that car

oh my god I was so happy you did that I was hysterical when you said that because I had no idea I for sure thought there was a driver when he kept saying push the gas man push the gas So I was like, oh, God. I didn't know who he was talking to, man.

I'm like, I'm like, dude, he just didn't want to smoke. Dude, I was ready. I was, oh, that's funny. I was not everyone. I mean, I have, again, I have no issues with Aaron anymore. I mean, again, like bygones are bygones. But yeah, I always be, I don't always be good for a good scrap. You know, I'm always up for it.

Yeah, I think he is also always up for it. So it's probably good that you two are back on good terms. Mimi and PB, let's set it up. The publicist is just like, Jesus. He just doesn't stop. All right. You'll be the ref, man. You'll be the ref, man.

You'll be the ref of the fight, dude. And then, you know. We won't be nowhere near that fight. Okay, no fight. No fight. Fighting's not. Violence isn't the answer. Violence is not the answer.

All right, Brandon, thank you. We, uh, we, we love having you on this podcast. And I'm just going to say it that you're probably going to be back on this podcast at some point. I'm sure. We will see you again. We will see. We will see. If I get to talk to you all, I take it.

But sweet. Good to see you. Have a good one. Have a good night. All right. Serena, I'm going to say it. I think we are done because I'm looking at an empty screen and we don't have any more guests. So everyone, that was an episode.

Thank you so much for tuning in to our live show. And don't forget, new episode of The Bachelorette airs on Monday at 8.7 Central and ABC and then streams the next Dan Hulu. This is the finale of the season. Charity's Journey is coming to an end so you don't want to miss it. Yes. And make sure to tune in every week. We have new episodes. And next week, we have some really special things coming out. You are not going to want to miss it. So stay tuned. We've got all kinds of exclusive interviews coming. And don't forget, hit that subscribe button. And thank you to all of our amazing guests you came on today. This was a really fun episode for Joe and I to record. Be sure to tune in again next week. We will see you guys next time. Bye. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving. It takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you.

Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them.

Listen to these women and more on She Pivot's now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.