Bachelor Happy Hour - Mike P. on His Choice to Remain a Virgin, Plus: Tayshia Discusses Blake’s Return

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

“The Bachelorette’s” Mike P. opens up to Becca and guest co-host Tayshia about his choice to remain a virgin until marriage and discusses the importance of honoring your partner. Mike also reveals his first reaction when learning about Katie being “sex-positive.” Plus, Mike shares why he felt compelled to speak up for the group at the Rose Ceremony.   Then, Tayshia shares the conversation she had with Blake when he came on the show to meet Katie and what she thought about him returning this season. “Bachelor Happy Hour” has exclusive interviews every week. Watch “The Bachelorette” on ABC and listen to “Bachelor Happy Hour” the next morning.  Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You got a hood of you. I'm take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming?

I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the I Heart. radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. No such thing. Welcome back, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, and I'm so excited for this week because I have

my girl Tasha back once again, and Tasia. This episode was a doozy. I can't believe I just a doozy, but like there was so much that went on. So I'm glad that you're back with me to give me the lowdown because you were obviously there. Yeah. I, okay. Well, first of all, yes, I am back and I missed you. I wasn't here last week, but I am ready to get into this episode because it's loaded. It's a dozy. It's loaded. There's a lot to talk about. And I think one of those people start with a T. But it's not me. Well, before we get into that, we have an incredible guest joining us today. He's not on quite yet. So Tash and I will give you a little rundown. We'll recap. we'll get into it um but later we'll have mike p and he has been such a pillar of strength and

honesty and just i would say care amongst all of these men and so i can't wait to hear more from him but before that we just have to get into this episode and i was thinking about it i'm like after watching last night's episode is this katy's season or is this thomas's season because he's getting a lot of screen time he got so much screen time i swear thomas's name was mentioned more last night than Katie's was and I'm just like and we'll get into it towards the end like I want to cover some of the more fun stuff because one of my

and Tasha and I have talked about this but one of my favorite dates are these truth or dare dates like we saw with Tasha's season last year when Sydney and I came out and we put the guys through the ringer if you will but I swear to God Tasha they literally took the script that we had for your date last year I just handed it off to you and Caitlin. But that's because it was so good.

Like, it was just so good. Like, we couldn't not do it again. I mean, like, who doesn't want to see the men wax random parts of their body? Who doesn't want to see the men cry and eat hobanero peppers and try to professor love? Who doesn't want to see the guys eat a freaking carb when they haven't had a carb in the last seven years? Exactly. You know what I mean? Like, it was just such a good date that you and Sydney hosted for me.

I just wanted to, you know, pass on a little bit of the love and the laughs. No, it is so entertaining. I love when, like, the guys kind of have to split up and do all these different things. It's just like there's so much to watch. And it's fun, but it's also lighthearted. And there was just so much, I think, heaviness from the past week. And with the drama going down with the men and Thomas right now that I think that this was the perfect date at the perfect time that you and Caitlin brought out to her because I think Katie just needed a break. She just needed to let loose. She needed to have fun. We needed to laugh and see the funny parts of these guys. Exactly. You mean like, it's been too heavy. Man, no, it was so funny, though. I was just like, I think Tasia took my line, but I'm not bad about it. Obviously, we saw different parts of it.

Like, the men had to eat some weird food. They had to tell a, you know, like a little sensual secret. They had to wax each other. They had to eat hot peppers. Out of all of those little competitions, what was your favorite to personally watch or hear? Oh my gosh. The sweet nothings. when they had to whisper in that ear.

It's so funny, though, like, you know how, like, Greg says, like, can you hear this? We're like, no, we can hear this. Like, do your thing. The sticker was literally at our feet feeding us, like, the audio. And it was hilarious. And we were just trying to, like, look at the sky, like, look at the birds, like, do something else aside from, like, staring at them. Because we were dying, laughing. We just wanted them to, like, whisper the weirdest things.

they did not disappoint and all I have to say is what the heck does Florida and New York and New Jersey have to do with anything if anyone ever whispered that in my ear I'd be like is this a history like what are we doing here?

Is this geography? And like if he's going to talk about geography it's like talk about Australian going down others or like missed the ball on that one Greg. I'm telling you please tell me what New Jersey has to do with all of this. And my favorite part was like

Greg was like, yeah, nailed that. And we were like, oh, my God, he legit thought that was good. It was precious. I mean, it was very endearing. It was so funny. It was so cute. It was funny. It's like things like that. Like, you just see a totally different side of the guys that you would never normally see in another type of group date setting. Right, right. One of the best. I mean, honestly, like, I hope they keep these coming because they're just so good. You get a mix of the dares. And then you also get a bit of the truth later on, which we definitely sign to the after party. I mean, Yes. We saw some great conversations between her and the men. I mean, Andrew S and his just like, he's just funny. Warms my damn heart. Yes. You just like, everything about him. I'm just like, I just love watching him on the screen because he's funny. He's articulate. He can open up. He makes

Katie feel great. He's all the things. And then we also see Greg who, you know, Florida, Texas, New Jersey aside, he is falling for Katie. And I think, you know, even though it's still early on, like, he actually shows why and how this works. And like when he says that, I don't feel like he's faking it. I feel like he's actually there for Katie for the real deal. And I think it's something beautiful. Um, we also saw a little bit of, I don't, I wouldn't even say drama, but just uncomfortable conversations between Katie and Trey. He obviously revealed some stuff about Thomas. We see Trey and Andrew S get into it. There was just a lot to unpack. Um, ultimately, Trey ended up getting that rose. Um, but over. all, I feel like it was just a pretty solid, straightforward day and night. Like, nothing too crazy, which I think she needed before, you know, I would call it like the calm before the storm, right? Yeah, it wasn't too crazy. I mean, I feel like that conversation that happened between Trey and Andrew S was like

really interesting to me. And it was like, because normally that's not a conversation we're privy to ever listening to as bacheloretts. And it was just really interesting hearing them and like, thought process behind do I go tell her or do I not go tell her and I don't know like what you would have felt in that moment but I think I'm with Katie on like I would like to know because these are the things that I'm not seeing clearly and like obviously there's there's some type of tension because of it so just like let it all out there like let's move on in the meantime before

that that after party little cocktail evening and then before like the roast ceremony before like drama really really goes down. We obviously see my girl go in. You went in and talked to Katie about somebody being here from your past. He seemed very sweet when he sat down with Katie the first time. And then I found it like I was, I thought it was adorable when Katie knocked on his door at the end. And he showed up naked and he's like, I need a breathmate. Give me a hot second. And then he got locked out to the door. It just I, um, I, I, I enjoyed to see more. Yeah. It was such a dork. It was very cute. So I mean, I don't know much about him. Obviously, you know much more, but I'm excited to see kind of where this goes, how the men will receive him next week when he actually, you know, moves into the resort

with them. Okay, you guys, let's get into it, though, because there's a big elephant in the room that we have to address. And, oh, boy, obviously a huge chunk of last night's episode dealt with not only Katie, but Thomas. And the fact that many men, you know, went to Katie. with their concerns about him admitting that, yes, he came here for a platform and has considered being The Bachelor. I guess I'm confused because, playing to your point earlier, I, as a lead would want to know that, definitely. But I've been thinking about this over and over, and it's like, what actually constitutes as a villain, quote unquote, a villain on the show? Because last

season we saw somebody who was labeled as a villain who actually said some terrible things, you know, like the word whore and sluts and hoes were being thrown around and that was all obviously

caught and portrayed to the group of women and that was offensive and I'm not condoning what Thomas went there for. I'm not saying oh it's okay that he said he wanted to be the bachelor. That is not what I'm getting at But he was directly asked, have you considered being the bachelor after all of this? And he did answer honestly, which as we see got him into a load of trouble.

But I'm thinking like, there are things that come off of this show that everyone's aware about. Obviously, after each season, somebody is going to become the next bachelor and bachelorette. People are going to become influencers. People are going to be promoting brands and traveling and doing all these things. and I just, it's interesting to me to see how extreme and heightened this was for saying that. And I'm not saying it shouldn't have been a topic of conversation. It definitely should have been. It definitely should have been brought to Katie's attention. But my issue is I,

because I take notes every time I, you know, watch each episode and listen back. I have an issue with like not only the amount of times that like manipulative, the term manipulative was thrown around, but like Thomas was called a psycho and cancer and for me as a viewer you are you are now calling this man you're basically putting this man on a Ted Bundy level and calling him cancer for something that like actually is when people say that exactly like I'm sorry everyone cancer took my dad away for me like cancer took people I loved away from me and so I have such a problem with men and women on this show spewing out certain words and terms and phrases that perpetuate the cycle of hate and drama to an extent that doesn't need to be as extreme as I think it is. And that's what

I have an issue with is like, should Thomas have maybe gone home? Yes. Did Katie handle things properly? Yes. But the conversation around it to me feels so disconnected for what actually took place and that's where I'm struggling with. So like that's why I'm happy I have you to to talk through this and maybe give me more insight if you know anything because well I think it's very I'm actually so happy you brought this up because I don't think like in the setting I don't people think the magnitude that those words hold and how it's actually going to affect long term because people actually yes because people actually take these words like whoever watched the episode and like oh my god that guy is cancer and that is what they associate that person being

in their mind for years to come and it's just because that word was just said i hate it when people just say words about people without thinking and without just being selfish right they could just say like he's not here for the right reasons he's being i don't know like manipulative okay well the thing is he is, he was being a little bit manipulative with like the guys and how he was talking, but like, something like cancer or a psychopath, or what was it? Sorry, a serial.

Psycho, right. Those are just words that are just like, learn some more, learn, we need some new vocab. Like, learn a little bit more. Well, and that's my problem. Again, like, I'm not condoning his behavior. I don't want people to be like,

oh my gosh, Becca, like, whatever it might be, but I'm just saying, like when we perpetuate thing like at the end of the day what he did was shitty what he said wasn't great and if I was the lead I would 100% question his motives right and probably let him go as well but when people use certain phrases and continue this narrative for something that now seems so extreme that really isn't like it's not it's not in the grand scheme of things it is not but I agree I will say I wish I could give more insight but I truly was there for Katie and like was only brought in when she needed it or hosting a date and whatnot so I wasn't

there like in the group chats of like really listening to the guys 24-7 yeah which um I kind of wish I was but also at the same time again it is Katie's journey I never wanted to be like so this guy said this and this is this you know what I mean it just takes away from her yeah um but what I did see was I mean the guys had very strong feelings about him and what I mean like even at like the big buckle brawl like Katie even noticed it then like all of the guys were on one side and then there was Thomas like nobody was actually associating or talking to him um there was just like little things that I picked up on that clearly I don't know just the way that he was handling things in the house like he was really rubbing people the wrong way and personally for me I didn't hear any of those words or, um, seeing any other actions, but that, except for what Katie told me and what the guys were saying. So yeah, um, I wish I could try more light on that, but no, and you, yeah, I think you were the best, like, Katie needed you in that moment. Your focus was heard. I think you have done a great job about that. I just, I, I guess my main takeaway from

all of this is like, at the end of the day, this is a show and people, people can say, do anything good or bad and the viewers will have their opinions but also please to everyone listening remember we are all humans we all make yes no one is perfect and you're only seeing a very very small sampling of what actually took place 24-7 in the house with everyone yeah sometimes people do things really shady like i think that people should be held a cannibal for that but i don't think that people should be like labeled as certain things so we just need to be much more mindful and cognizant of like, what we're actually saying, how we're delivering, whatever we do want to say. And so. That's really what you want to say. Yes, exactly. But at the end of the day, I think overall,

like Katie has shown once again how strong of a woman she is. She stands her ground. I think the men appreciated how she handled everything. And it is what it is. And after everything was done and done, she had, you know, she let one man go, but another came in with Blake. And so we'll see how that all goes down. I can't wait. But you have listened to the two of us talk for quite some time. So I think we just need to bring out the man of the hour. Ladies and gentlemen, he is somebody that I think he's slowly grown on us week by week and has just been not those outspoken, but like when he does speak, it holds a lot of weight in just such a positive way. And so please help me welcome Mike P. to Bachelor Happy Hour. Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour. Mike,

you been. I'm doing good. I'm excited to be here just currently in Costa Rica. So it's kind of a break away from vacation. But I'm super excited to chat with you guys today. Well, we are excited to have you. I know you're a busy man and you probably don't want to be chatting with us when you are in this beautiful area. But thank you. Is this the first podcast that you've ever done? Yeah. Yeah, I think it actually is. Okay, okay. Well, easy and slow here. We'll go easy on you. Well, like I said, it's so great to have you here because we love chatting with all of the cast members throughout the season. Obviously, there's so much more that you guys can give us behind the scenes, the actual tea, the real info that us, Tisha and I love, as well as our listeners.

So how has it been, you know, you obviously went through all of filming, but now how is it for you personally, watching it all unfold, watching yourself? back watching you speak on TV. What is that like? You know, it's kind of funny. I think the main thing I've noticed so far is I'm usually a super smiley eye. Like, I'm always laughing. I'm joking. Every time I see my face, I'm like, I'm like a deer caught in the headlights. Like, I have no idea what's going on. My family actually has been giving me such a hard time because they're like, what are you doing in those moments? It's kind of funny. But at the end of the day, I mean, I think when I look at it and I watch it back, I think it's weird to see yourself on TV. That's the weirdest part is you're like, okay, is that really what I look like?

Is that how I talk? You know, but no, it's been fun. I mean, I think it's been something that when you're able to take a step back and actually see what was happening, because sometimes you are caught in a moment. You're like, okay, I have no idea what's going on. And you don't even know what camera's on you. So besides that, seeing myself, I think that the cool part is like how much. my family and friends have reacted to it and how they kind of roast me and have a good time with

it. So it's honestly, it's been a lot of fun. Mm-hmm. Good. Is your family a fan of the show or did they also not watch it? Like this is all new to you guys. It's all new to us. It was kind of similar. I think everyone had kind of known the concept. And that's the funny part. I had three sisters and we're all your part. So like you would think a lot of them had seen it. Yeah. They'd maybe seen an episode here and there. But no, we all kind of were like, we know a little bit about it, but we didn't know kind of how it would, how it fully goes. That's cool, though. I like that.

One thing that, you know, we know about you is that you came in and expressed that you were a virgin, which, you know, it's been part of your story on the show, which is, you know, a big contrast to Katie, who is, you know, she showed up night one on Matt season with her vibrator and has been very sex positive and open about that. So coming into this, were you worried about that, you know, that you guys were kind of on different pages? How did you want to go in and make sure that you guys were aligned if this was going to work out? Yeah, you know, I think it's funny. That's probably the biggest question I've got since I've been back.

A lot of people are like, you know, how is it? How was it? But I, it's hard to explain because I'm not somebody, like my waiting is for, it's a very specific reason, right? Like, it's for my faith. And for me, I have always, I've always been confused with why, let's say, let's just say as a church, right, as Christians, why it hasn't always been a topic, like why sex hasn't been such an extreme topic that we talk about. In fact, a lot of people I feel like

have kind of like, oh, it's a bad thing. No, it's an incredible thing, right? So my family is actually, I grew up in kind of an atmosphere where this is gross to say or think about, but like my parents expressed, you know, sex. Like we knew that my parents were happily married, that they had sex, not just four times for us kids, but they actually did. Where do you think you guys came from? Yeah, exactly. Four and four years, so we knew they were doing it. So I think it was something where I was always confused sometimes when people would talk

about waiting and they were very shy about it, you know, and teach their own. But for me, that's not how I grew up. So when I heard Katie was sex positive, I was like, I didn't even hesitate because I was like, Oh, that's how I am. Like, I love to speak about this stuff. I love to talk about it. And, you know, my dad is, you know, he's like my best friend and my mom, obviously, as well. But my dad, one thing he did, you know, because I was the only boy is I remember when I was younger, he kind of took me aside and was like, listen, if you are ever going to do something, you need to know the why.

And he explained the why to me. And once I understood like the why to all of it, you know, then I think it was easy for me. to like make those decisions for myself and choose to to kind of take that uh the road for myself you know wait no marriage but but like when i thought of katie and you'll see like as her and i you know speak on the show like i think we're much more similar than people think and when i think of the term sex positive i think of people who just express exactly where they're at when it comes to the topic of sex i don't think it's something that means we need to be so overly experienced because I think experience comes in a lot of different ways.

Yeah, I agree. I think that it doesn't necessarily mean you have to just be solely physical when you're sex positive. It can be having conversations, like consent, being at the right page, like on the same pages about everything. And so, yeah, that's one thing because we've talked to a lot about Katie being so sex positive on our podcast and I've just had people DM me, you know, on the more extreme side, like so physical, like, why do you guys keep talking about this? I'm like, but it shouldn't be a taboo. And that's just what she's been expressing this entire time on the show. And I think it's a beautiful thing. Well, she said something, I think, really profound in the beginning.

And she said, if you cannot talk about sex, then you are not ready to get married. I completely agree with that. If you cannot sit down and communicate through things, then what are you doing? I think at that point, you're wasting your time. So I'm on that same page with her. I want to know. And for me, when I think of sex, like I think of, I think of, I think of, being able to communicate fully with my future wife, right?

Like I, you know, it's funny, I get this a lot. I get a lot of guys when I was growing up are like, aren't you worried, aren't you going to be terrible this and that? And I'm like, no, because I want to be able to fully understand that woman and show her exactly how I view her and how honored I feel like she can, you know, how honored I feel like she should feel, how safe she should feel. I mean, I think last episode was a great example of Katie's story, right? I mean, she is, the strength in that woman, first of all, is incredible.

She's unbelievable, but it makes more sense why she is so open about it. And I think sometimes patience has to come when you don't know these things about those people. And sometimes I feel like it should be, you know, let's get to know that person first. Let's get to understand how their mind works. Let's get to understand what they even like. We're all different, right? So it could be one thing with, you know, another partner. It could be another thing with another partner.

So I think that's one thing that Katie and I, as time goes on, you'll see, it's like, we communicate to those things and we understand that, like, hey, I want to know what you like. I could care less what everyone else likes. I'm here to get to know you. I think it's amazing of like your parents. I know. Every girl wants to hear that. But I think it's amazing of your parents to also, like, not make.

sex seem like such a scary subject and like have you guys all be comfortable with it just because you're a virgin doesn't mean that you're not knowledgeable and that it doesn't interest you and that you don't talk about it freely with your family like it shouldn't be like this scary topic you know and that's that's exciting well and the funny part is uh a lot of people that know my family um i think i don't want to say we're i think it would have been a shock factor if people saw my you know uh you know and we'll if they saw my family's interactions if they saw my family's interactions in public you know like if they were to see us at like a dinner table at a restaurant they would be like i would have never guessed you know that

Mike don't get your family in trouble are they going to listen to this back me what are you saying about our family? Keep your mouth shut because they'll be the first ones to say it you know They'll be like, you know, it's just funny because one of my friends, he actually says it perfect. He's like, you guys are the raunchiest cleanest family I've ever seen. He's like, you guys talk about everything, you know. You went on the greatest lover of all time date with Heather McDonald. That's when we kind of saw you.

At first, we could tell you were very hesitant, very nervous. You were like, how do I go about this date? You know, how do I express where I'm at in my sexuality and what I want in my future? without making anyone feel uncomfortable. And it also has to be, so kudos to you, to share that with the world, not only with a partner that you're dating, but with all of us, has to be incredibly daunting. So thank you for sharing that letter that you wrote to Katie, because I found it absolutely beautiful. It was phenomenal. Yeah, Tasha and I talked about it a couple of weeks ago, and I was just like, man, this guy, like, to be able to do that and to be able to just like make it so intimate and

personal to Katie especially was something truly, truly special, something I don't think I've ever seen on the show before. But going into that, how are you feeling? Yeah, you know, I had a feeling at some point, you know, the topic was going to be brought up, of course, as it should. I don't think I thought it was going to be that quick. And I want to make this perfectly clear. I think the dilemma that I was probably where it looked like I was stressing, I think it was something where I wanted Katie, from the bottom of my heart, I wanted her to understand the why. And I think I wanted her to feel so seen and so honored and not, you know, because I had a dilemma.

It was like, okay, if I handled this in a way that, that if I express myself, because like everyone that knows me, like all my family and friends, like, I have no problem going up there and doing a magic mic dance. I have no problem doing that because like that's my personality, right? But I wanted, I didn't know yet. I didn't know Katie yet. I didn't know if that's even something that she wanted. And I wanted to honor that that space for her of like, okay, well, how, how can I speak to her? Because I don't know these things, how can I speak to her to where she feels completely seen. And I think, and I'll share something intimate with you here, too, I think was,

it was tough for me because I, I wanted, like, what I pictured her as is I pictured her as my future wife. I was like, okay, if I see her up here, how would I, how would I want her to feel honored, right? Like, how would I want her, if I'm, say, her future husband, how, would she want me to approach this? Would she want me to share certain things that maybe will be, you know, for us in the future in front of everybody?

Would she want me to speak to your heart? I didn't know these things. And I think I just wanted her to feel safe in that spot. And that's why I was like, what a lot of people don't know is I, you'll laugh, but I actually write my wife every day. So like, what I'll do is I was like, I was thinking about it. like okay well how can I how can I show her you know something that is intimate and I was like well you speak to her every day you might as well just write to her and and and you might as well

just show her exactly what you talk to her about every day and and I think when and that was the tough part is it to do-or-die moment you don't know I didn't fully know Katie yet I didn't know how she would respond and I think it was that moment where she responded the way that she did where I was like, okay, you're somebody I'm interested in. And because I'm a big believer, like how you treat people and how you love people, I'm a big believer in actions. Like, words are great, but I want action. And the way she responded, you could just tell her heart. I was like, oh, my heart melted. I was like, oh, I was like, this girl right now. And, and I just think that's an assessment to her. Like, she created a safe space for me. And I was able to then be myself,

because I can only be myself. I'm too stubborn, right? So I was like, okay, I got to be me. So I went in there and I was like, you know, this is how it has to go. Yeah. And I think that was the moment again where she was just like, okay, you're not afraid to do that.

And the funny part about it, we spoke later that night and she was like, yeah, it's pretty ballsy of you to say that in front of the world. And I was like, to be honest, Katie. And this sounds cheesy, but I was like, I only saw you in that moment. I was like, I was not thinking about the guys. I wasn't thinking about the world here in this.

Like, I wanted you to understand my why. Because if you don't understand my why, I'm just going to look like a guy that's very different from you that you're not going to be able to connect with. And that's the farthest thing, you know, from the truth. Well, it obviously worked in your favor because you won that group date. You won, I think, Katie, over. You won basically all of America watching over.

And so it works for you. But I definitely think, like, it seems like you're very intentional with your words and your thoughts. and that came across. Like, I didn't leave anyone wondering of like, okay, we're missing something here, you know? Like, these two aren't adding up. Like, it was very aligned,

which when I say it was an incredible, beautiful thing to see on this show. It truly was. Going back to how just great and articulate you are with your words, we saw you at the last rose ceremony kind of speak out for the group when you accepted that rose. And I don't think that's something we've ever really seen before either. What compelled you to do that? What compelled you to be the voice of the group?

Was it something that you just chose to do or that you spoke with the men beforehand on? Yeah, well, first and foremost, a lot of those guys are great guys that want Katie to feel, you know, this is what we talked about. We said it's our job, you know, she's a strong enough woman. She can make the decisions for herself.

Like she did not need our help. She's smart. She knows exactly what she's doing. But I still think that doesn't mean that you shouldn't, always try to create an atmosphere that's conducive her finding love. This is her journey. And, you know, I can only imagine how stressful it is for her to have to choose from all of us because I know how tough it is when it's just me, right?

So I think for us is, I, again, I have three sisters who are all your part. I always in my mind would be like, okay, how can I create an atmosphere for them to, you know, feel heard for them to, uh, do they need humor? Do they need a safe spot? I don't know. How do I figure this out, right? And Katie was stressed and rightfully so. I mean, she was going through some stuff that she didn't have to go through.

And I think that was the moment where like, again, I'm about action. I was like, okay. Well, and again, I didn't know how anything works. So I was like, well, if there's BS going on in the house, like I'm not going to put up with it. So I might as well just say it. And I felt like that was the moment where, you know, all this guys were like, hey, this isn't okay. So I was like, well, I guess I'm going to say. something because if it's not okay, you know, then she needs to know. And and what I wanted Katie

understand too is I wasn't there just to receive a rose. I wanted her to understand that like, listen, I will risk everything for you if that means that you're going to get your person, whether that's me or not. And I think that was something where you'll see that, you know, and maybe in that moment again, I had no idea that a moment like that maybe it never happened. but it wasn't just me that felt that way. All the guys were like, hey, this is something where it's taking away from the love that she's searching for. And it's our job to make sure that all those distractions are gone so that she can have

the space to find that for herself. Because she is a strong woman where she's like not going to put up with anything. But there's certain things she shouldn't have to deal with that we could take care of in-house. And I think that was a moment that kind of showed where we were like, we're going to do that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. How did the guys receive it afterwards? Were they appreciative? Do they have your back? Yeah, you know, it's funny because some of us were like, I think the consensus was like, okay, whoever feels comfortable, right? You know, that can go up there and say it. And I think it just a line where I was the one where I was like, listen, hasn't been said yet, I, this is what's going on and I think, you know,

something that we should do. And then after the guys were like, you know, hey man, like, good on you. You know, but I know there was some great men and that would have done the same thing. Um, I just think it just a line where that was, I guess, my, my time to do it. Um, but I didn't, I wanted it to come across where it wasn't taking away from our trust and her as well. And I, and that was a tough, again, that was a tough situation where it was like, okay, Kay, you're smart you don't need our help but i think you should have all the information so that you can make the decision for yourself um and that's all us guys wanted and that's what we talked about

like there was a it's funny when when i was watching it back i saw a moment with uh michael and actually justin was behind me and michael goes now how do you feel about it and you know i'm like listen i just want the best for her and they felt the same way justin same thing and uh i think that was the overall reaction from the guys Mm-hmm. Becca, I see, like, this is the difference of how the guys act when they haven't watched a show. I don't think a guy that would have, like, watched a show in the past would have stepped in and said, like, Katie, I need you to know this right here, right now. But I think it was the right thing to do, but I don't think that they would have done that. I think they would have, like, had it at the Rose ceremony or, you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. I just would have been very different, but I think it was well played. When people know more, they're kind of more buttoned up and they're like, okay, this doesn't happen now, so I'm not going to do it. So, I mean, you guys, like, I really feel like this season, you guys are kind of really paving the way and making it your own in a weird way. Like, we've seen certain things that don't always happen when they're supposed to or, like, when viewers think they will. So I appreciate it. I mean, it keeps me on my toes as a viewer, so it's great. Okay, I want to get into last night's date because it was one of my favorites. It looked so fun. Obviously, you were on that truth or dare date with some of the men and you had to eat what 11 or 12 twinkies yeah so 12 20s

he was supposed to eat the whole plate but 12 works the the funniest part is you know tasha was there tasha they were sitting a little further away from us and the laughs you guys were it was like laughing at our pain and it made it so funny for us because I was like should I keep going like should I keep eating yes always keep going you're going And the funny part, and this is disgusting, but anyway, I'll say it anyways. So Connor and I, we were partners, and I couldn't get the Twinkies down because, like, they're thick. And I'm like, okay, I can only eat so fast. So Connor's like, hey, let's dip the Twinkie in water.

So I was like, okay, let's try it. He did it. I almost threw up. It tastes like a bugger. I was like, it was just like swimmy. I was like, this. Twinkies aren't even good to begin with. No.

no no and i literally that is so funny i was like dude don't do that like i will puke on the spot if you if we do that but the the hardest part about it though is we followed it up with the peppers and that was where i was like i had never had a pepper before i'm like i which is wild how have you never had a pepper that's what i'm saying i'm such a basic eater do you not like do you not like spicy food well i that's the funny part like i do i do you know because I'm from Arizona and I grew up on spice, but I just never am just eating a raw pepper just like, oh, this is good, right?

I don't think that's normal, but, yeah. Well, one thing that I love, too, is you said, when you were eating the Twinkies, you were like, I haven't had a carb in, what, seven years? I want to get that on a shirt. It's so good. The self-control that this man has in his life right now is unbelievable. Are you lying when you say you've really,

you haven't had a carb in seven years? Like, you have had pasta or bread or something. No, I was actually saying a movie quote. And it was like, it was something where I was like, I just, I was joking around. But I think for me, in all kidding aside, like, I probably had not had a Twinkie since I was probably eight years old. And I had forgotten what it. And then it was like, okay, crush them, right?

But no, it was, it was something where I, when I look at the rest of the things that were picked. I think I kind of got, like, I kind of got a better choice. You got off easy. Would you eat the pasta? That I would have loved. I would have ate the whole plate. I would have kept going.

Massed potatoes, cake, I guess. Okay, so that's the thing. The mashed potatoes, like, I'm a big texture guy. So, like, I would have puked if I ate that much. Same. I hate mashed potatoes. You what? I can't be friends with you guys.

So gross. I love my face and that bowl of potatoes. Okay, so Mike, obviously there's a lot that went down in this episode. It had a pretty exclusive rose ceremony. What can we expect next? Without giving too much away, give us like a little tease. Yeah, that rose ceremony, how do we explain that? Yeah.

I the best way I could say is like it's just not what I expected I honestly because things happen where you're like oh okay uh all right I guess that's it and then it was like oh okay that's not it and like my like our reactions

went from like we trust her and then it was like oh whoa okay all right like okay we do trust her like And I think it, you know, I think it set a precedent for the rest of the season, to be honest, where it was like, hey, I'm not here to play games. And if you are going to play games, then I'm going to handle it. And as you should, you know, that's the tough spaces.

You know, it's hard because you always want the best for everybody, right? But then there's certain things where I don't know what conversations are being had, you know, between two other people. what conversations are being had with, you know, someone else and some of the other guys. And that's the point where you really do have to put your trust in Katie and be like, okay, you discern enough in this to where you feel comfortable making this decision. And that's one of those moments where it's like, okay, you know, she made her decision. And I think sometimes there has to be moments like that where you put your foot down and you're like, hey, you know, this is, this is who I am.

And I'm not going to let you guys walk all over me. And she made that very clear. Now going through both sides of you filming and watching it air, like how we're seeing it go down. Is that actually how it was? Or did it seem a bit more tame and not as extreme? And now it's just being blown up because, you know, maybe it was a slow news week.

I don't know. Yeah. That's a great question. I think it's hard for me because there's a lot of things that I didn't see. And when you're seeing it for the first time, um it can come across as shocking but then but then you also know guys in the house too so i think you know michael michael a said this perfect at the end of the day we all are people like all of us are people and we all have certain uh you know moments in life where you know

whether we're not proud of or maybe we just didn't know how to react and i think um the one thing that I watched and it was maybe in a moment where I was like, ooh, it looks, he looks a little stressed right now, right? Where it's like, I'll use Thomas as an example last week where it was like, you could tell he was like, oh, I'm stressed. And that's a hard position to be in. You know, it's a, it's a, I want the best for everybody, but I want everybody to have a fair shake because no one I could one thing I will say about this season no one's a bad bad guy no one was I just think sometimes we make decisions where it's like oh that was a little bit questionable and and the other person is entitled to how they received that and how they feel um what I would

encourage people to do is is I always like to try to put myself in somebody else's shoes right is like how would I feel in that situation would I would I be overwhelmed with a little bit of stress, would I be, you know, somebody that maybe said something I didn't mean or, or maybe I did say something and it came across wrong, right? I think that's the really hard thing to watch is because I have a lot of love for these guys. Like, these are like my brothers. And it's hard to watch sometimes because you're like, oh, man, I know that's probably not what you meant. Or sometimes you're like, ooh, I actually didn't know that's what you actually thought. So it is tough to watch. And I think, but I will say, just like Michael said, is like, I think we should show a little bit

of grace and patience because sometimes these situations can be a little overwhelming. But I do think that it is important to also watch. Like, there are a lot of moments that I do where I'm kind of like, ooh, that's not maybe your best reaction. where I like to kind of take a step back and be like, how could you have handled that better? And I think these are things like as men in our group. Like I think we'll be honest with each other and have open conversations to where like maybe like,

could you see maybe how that was or what were you thinking in that moment? And I think that's a space that we should create to where, you know, us as men can one learn from our mistakes or actually understand where we were actually trying to come from. You know, Mike, I do want to say like before we let you go, you spoke so eloquently about like your why and I know I admire um you being able to speak about your truth I know probably Becca does too but it's so different seeing a man feel so confident and strong and talking about being a virgin and like not being ashamed of it um and I think

that that's something that could help a lot of people I'm sure you've received a lot of DMs of people feeling very you know empowered by what by what you said and how confident you are um what advice would you have to, I want to see people, but also, like, especially males that are virgins and, yeah. You know, it's funny you reached, or you talked about, you know, people reaching out. That has been the overall message that people have been coming across with to me is, I'm a big believer that, like, God puts you in positions for certain reasons, right? And I think I was somebody that needed to meet an incredible woman to show me a lot about myself, right?

And for me, maybe just my story was something where people could understand like, you know, why am I doing this? And I think the why is a huge thing. For anything to be sustainable, you have to understand your why. If you don't understand the why to it, then you will, you'll fall off on it. But if you're convicted by the why and you have an understanding of the why, I think it makes it so much easier to then be able to sustain that. Right. And I think I'll speak to two different parts of this. I think with the message I've heard from women is I didn't know guys like you exist. And in my mind, I'm like, I am so flawed that I'm like, no, no, no. Like, do not put me on a

pedestal. Like I am somebody that is extremely flawed. I just am. convicted in what I want this gift to be to my wife. And I am not just the virgin. Like I am somebody that like I have so much more to offer. I don't want it to be put in a box, right? Like I want it to like I want to be a listener. I want to be somebody that, you know, um, can do so many things for her. Right. And I, and I want women to understand that, um, there are a lot of men who do feel this way. And there are a lot of men that want to make, you know, their, their women feel safe and secure and they want them to feel honored, right? And, and that comes in so many different forms. It's not just sex. Sometimes that's even just in conversation or just being

able to communicate how you feel. That can make a woman feel honored. You know, but I will say this is like, it breaks my heart hearing that sometimes too, because as men, we need to step up and be better, we're obviously falling short in areas, myself included as well, is we're falling short in areas where women aren't feeling love. They're not feeling secure. They're not feeling honored. And I think we have to internally look into ourselves and be like, why are they feeling that way? And we have to be vulnerable and be able to communicate that to them so that we can receive the feedback and then make a change. Now, to men, I think, I think this is something that if you want to be because their leadership comes in so many different ways like my sisters are leaders my

mom's a leader like it just because you're a man doesn't mean that you're the only leader that's not how it works but i do believe that like everyone should always try to be the leader the best leader they can be so for men i can only speak to men because i'm a guy is like if you truly are convicted in something like this and for me it's like i'm convicted because i told katy this and she started laughing is i am a i believe whole heartily God grabs the most rotten ones the earliest. I was one of his most rotten ones when I was born where he was like, you do not get to experience a lot of these things because you're going to get in trouble. And I think that was something where knowing that about myself, it was almost like a layer

of protection where it was like, no, you don't get to do this. You have to actually, you have to honor her and you have to show her that there's so much more that you see in her, right? And there's so much more that you want for her. You want to elevate her. This is not about one of the things I hear from women all the time is how selfish men are. We are. So we need to make a change with that. And what's a way to do that?

For me, that's a way to, you know, one of the biggest desires of my heart is obviously to have sex, you know, with my wife. It's like, okay, well, then you need to put in work before you're granted that gift, right? So it's like, that's how I view it. And if you're a man and that's something that you're struggling with or you're feeling and secure about, own it. Yeah. Like you're doing it for a reason.

Like you are somebody that is, you're somebody that is, you're convicted by it for a reason. So find out what that reason is, understand it. And then, you know, verbalize it, you know, to your future spouse or your, or your girlfriend or whatever of like, this is why I'm convicted by this. This is something that I want you to feel so safe and so. secure that you then what is more secure than you looking a woman in the eyes and saying I want nobody else for the rest of my life you are all I want and I mean at that point if my wife says that to me my clothes are coming off and I'm like because because it's like

there's such a beauty to that there's such a beauty to committing your life to somebody for the rest of your life and saying to them I don't see anything else, you are what I want. And that's something that if you are convicted in that way, then it's going to be tough. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, ever. I mean, every day I wake up, the first sign of my mind is sex. I'm like, dude, calm down.

Go back to bed. Go back to bed. Take it out. But it's something that if I know it's that tough, then it's going to be so worth it when I have it. And, you know, and it's something. that like I hate the stigma of like aren't you worried you should know this thing no because I'm going to communicate if my wife looks at me and says I don't like that I'm going to go okay well then

what do you like because there's no ego in this you know I mean like I I have showed you that I will I will do the hardest thing possible to honor you so tell me what you want and I think it's something where the biggest mistake we make within I feel like sex or or intimacy or whatever is we want to self-satisfied I feel like it should be you it's sacrifice. Sex is sacrifice. You should be honoring that person. You should be serving that person. You do that. My tip to guys, you serve a woman that way and not think about yourself. You'll be just fine. We've just been having such great guys on our podcast. Like, Katie, I mean, Katie was a lucky woman, but seriously, every guy should listen to this. Just this clip right here.

We'll set it out to the masses. But before we let you go, we ask all of our guests this, without giving too much away right now up until this point, what has been? your rose and what has been your thorn of katie's season? Probably my thorn is, that's a great question. Well, I mean, I think it's obvious. The thorn is, you know, when you're interested in a girl, you don't want, you know, your buddies taking her on dates and doing it.

But I also know what I signed up for. So I, so yeah, I would say that probably because I had, I mean, My experience at this point has been nuts and short of incredible. But I will say the rose, and I know I keep harping on this, but Katie, and again, I told her this, I don't know how you women do it. You guys are incredible at the way you can allow us to process things. The way Katie allowed me to just really look in to my own heart and be like, what is it that you truly want. What is it you want from a woman? What is it? Like, what? And I, and she, and I think,

again, real quick going back to like the second date, a lot of people are like, oh, that's such a bad no, that was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because it allowed me, it allowed me to be extremely uncomfortable in a situation to have to navigate it, to have to discern through what I was going through where it's like, and Katie created that space. And Katie is somebody that she's the beauty in her to be able to then create an uncomfortable situation but then be the calming force in it is it was such a she's a woman that's the only way to explain it like that is what a woman does a woman brings calm to chaos and like that is something that i i gosh it was so attracted you know i mean like it's such a that's my rose because like how she was able to do that um

it made my journey one of the best experience I've ever had in my life. Thank you so much for joining Bachelor Happy Hour. Now go enjoy your vacation. Yes, Costa Rica, baby. Yeah, I got some adventure. I'm kind of an adrenaline jockey, so it'll be nice to kind of get out and do some crazy things, so it should be fun. All right, go let the hair done.

Thank you for being here. Thanks, Mike. We'll talk to you later. He is just seems like not even self-confident. but he is just aware and like just knows what he wants but can vocalize that in such a beautiful way. I think a lot of times, you know, myself included, I do this quite a bit. Like I obviously have so many thoughts jumbled in my mind, but I'm sometimes hesitant or it's difficult for me to fully express everything. And he does such an incredible job at that. So I'm so glad we had him on

because, Asatia, you were just saying maybe you didn't get to see this full side of him on Katie's season. yeah i mean i just think that we have said this multiple times though but like the show is about find love absolutely but when you really do put your heart in the line it can transform you as a human and i just love that he kept hitting on that that even though he knew he was confident in who he is and and what his why is it's still i don't know made him think about himself a little bit more and like really be confident and that's why when he talks to us us about it. We're like, we didn't think about it like that, but that makes so much sense. And I really hope that other people feel compelled to stay in their truth a little bit more,

you know? Yeah, it's, I don't think anyone has walked away from the show without learning something, without having some major takeaway about who they are, how they could change to be better, what they want. I mean, I've said this many times. Good and bad. Good and bad. Exactly. And, but it becomes like when you're in the environment with all of these people and with producers and you know, you're constantly talking through your thoughts and emotions and feelings and situations. It becomes sort of like a group therapy session, which sometimes, you know, as we've seen in last this episode, it can go terribly wrong for some people, but sometimes it can be such an enlightening thing. And so, I mean, he's a great example of somebody who's walked away and I think can now

take what he's learned and what he's gone through in this and apply it to all of his future, you know relationships relationships with his friends his family a partner all the things and i think that's a great point that i'm so glad he spoke on i mean i mean these guys have just been incredible so far last week we had michael a this week mike p like just really good dudes like katie had a good group of men so i mean you know much better than i do how this ends but like i'm just like damn she's got her work kind out for her i mean yeah i'm just to leave it at that just keep watching It gets intense, okay? Well, we will.

To all of our Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, thank you all for hanging out with us once again. And huge thank you to Mike P for joining us even while he is on vacation. And as always, please make sure to hit us up on social. We're at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Badgination Pods on both Facebook and Twitter. And as always, please don't forget to subscribe to our podcast. You can do so on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wundry app, or wherever you are listening to us right now. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there.

The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe saved my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier.

Denials easier. Complex problem solving. Takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadhat Radio.

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