Bachelor Happy Hour - Off My Chest | Golden Hour

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re back answering your questions! We kick things off with a proper catch-up. Susan has some exciting news and Kathy has some dating updates, so make sure you don’t miss it! Then, we start our advice portion with the question of the day: In a relationship, what’s the difference between compromise and settling? And, of course, we get into your questions; today’s are all about nasty in-laws and the pressure to get married. Plus, we end things with a Golden Spotlight; from how to improve with technology to the ways it’s ingrained in our daily lives, we’re getting into it all. Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now.

Listen for free on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small times. Listen to Graves County on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And to binge the entire season ad-free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Jenna World. Jenna Jamison, Vivid Video, and the Valley is a new podcast about the history of the adult film industry.

I'm Molly Lambert, and I'll be your tour guide on a wide. wild trip through adult films. We get paid more than the men. We call the shots. In what way is that degrading? That's us taking hold of our life. Listen to Geno World on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join me, Danny Trejo, in Nocturno, Tales from the Shadow. An anthology of modern-day horror stories inspired by the legends and lore of Latin America. Listen to Nocturnal, Tales from the Shadows.

On the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I knew it was a bomb the second that it exploded. I felt it ripped through me. In season two of Ripcurrent, we ask, who tried to kill Judy Berry and why? They were climbing trees and they were sabotaging logging equipment in the woods. She received death threats before the bombing. She received more threats after the bombing. I think that this is a deliberate attempt to sabotage our movement.

Episodes of RipCurrent Season 2 are available now. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back, everybody, to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks again for joining us. And we're always so excited to be back, aren't we, Kathy? We are. And I love these days because today we're going to be answering more of your fan questions. Make sure you're submitting those.

We love reading them. All you got to do is go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour and submit away. Yes. Send us everything. questions, your updates and your opinions, all of it. You can also DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Okay. Let's talk about our cruise, Kathy. This Bachelor, okay, if you haven't heard folks, Bachelor Nation, Vacation at Sea has finally been announced and we are so excited. You and I are going. Lots of Bachelor Nation people are going to be on there. Lots of

friends and couples. Oh, it's going to be a party. I think it's going to be a nonstop party. I have never been to Puerto Plata, but who doesn't love a good cruise with dancing, surprises? You know what I'm most excited about, Susan, is meeting so many of the fans. Exactly. And I know.

They write to us. We chat with them online. We don't know what they look like or who they are. You know what I mean? Just by their notes. and we're going to be doing a live podcast a live podcast so that's going to be really fun also you know folks out there a lot of you are single as am i and so i know it gets expensive to to go on a cruise but there is a facebook page that you can go to um it's called official

bachelor nation vacation sea cruisers group go on facebook find that group and join it's a great way to make new friends, maybe find a roommate for the cruise. It's a win-win. You're going to get to meet a lot of your bachelor nation favorites. There are so many, we don't even know all the surprises yet. But trust me, this is going to be a cruise of a lifetime. You're going to have a blast. So if you haven't booked your cabin yet, go and do it now because you are going to be so excited

to come. And we can't wait. I'm excited about seeing everybody there. Me too. you know people think that we see bachelor nation all of our friends all the time this is going to be as much fun for us to see all of you and chat with you and and you can see what we're really like in person which is exactly what we're like on this podcast by the way and you'll be seeing us everywhere on that chip and I'm sure there's going to be things that will be involved with with you right yeah

you don't know what it's going to be great but if if we haven't sold you yet we're going to be talking about again book your cabin now go to bachelor nation vacation vacation at c.com and book your cabin now. You will not regret this decision. It's going to be a blast. But okay. We're going to have fun. I'll have dinner with you. I mean, that's one of my favorite things to do, dinner and dancing and sunshine. As long as I don't have to cook it. I'm in. All right now. So before we dive into today's episode, we want to do a little catch up with you guys. like what's going on with us. Kathy, what's going on with you? I know for me, I'm getting excited because I'm sure I mentioned it before. I was nominated for officiant of the year award.

I don't know if I'll get it, but the time has come. Kathy, I don't know what to wear. I think I'm going to do a post like an evening gowns and have the fans pick one. I'm so excited. I've seen what the choice is. You're going to look gorgeous no matter what you choose. And I'm putting it out to the universe right now. I think you're going to win this award. Oh, my gosh. I don't know about winning, but just to be there. I mean, it's an international thing.

And there's so many titles, like, you get be blown away. So I'm going to meet people from all over the world. That's so exciting. And you know what? I really wanted to come. I know. But I know. But I've got two.

So this event is in early December, mid-December. And I've got a couple of Christmas. parties with my family and my grandson has a music concert so I can't be there but trust and believe me I will be rooting for you and you're going to win you're going to cart home some big personal trophy it's not even about winning it's just being around people that you love and you know when you get called up to the stage yeah it's like your nerves oh people you know and love I think that's harder than being behind the cameras like being on the show was not difficult I forgot the cameras were there I was just me but this

is like spotlight you know well you know it's funny you say that because you and i just and nancy just did uh uh an event uh in it was it's a company out of jersey it's called wigs and wishes and they provide wigs for women and children fighting that dreaded disease called cancer and then they uh give wishes they grant wishes to children it's not make a wish foundation It's a grassroots organization. And Susan, Nancy and I were there as, you know, sort of celebrity hosts, whatever. And you're right when you're, we all were up on stage. And in that moment, it's much harder when it's something heartfelt than just having fun.

Because the emotions take over. That's right. We're not numb. Yeah. Well, you know what? You will be great. I have no doubt. I wish I could be there.

but no Susan I'm wishing you well from afar thank you thank you and your world what's going on not you know not so much I know soon we'll be talking about the holidays and people dating and a lot of people get off some people I know just get on the dating sites for the holidays which I think is crazy well you know I'm not a big fan of dating sites for for a variety of reasons I mean, it hasn't been successful for me. But I did. So I've always said to you, I'd love to meet somebody through just a organic way other than a dating site or whatever. And I actually had a friend set me up with a guy.

And it's funny because the holidays really are tough. You know, you go through all the memories and stuff. But it would be nice to meet someone to share. So to share these things with, right? So my friend fixes me up and this guy, Atlantic coast, Atlantic East Coast guy, I'm from the East Coast. So I'm thinking, oh, this could be it. Because, you know, I don't seem to jive well with guys with 10 gallon hats and scars and holding up dead fish. Where she lives.

Where I live in Texas. Love Texas, but, you know, there it is. And so I thought, oh, this could be my time. And interestingly, I knew his situation. his wife had passed away and you know your mind go in dating it's so different at our age right um and so i'm thinking this could be great on the other hand this guy's lost his wife uh in the not too distant past and and honestly susan you know i called you we talked about it like what do i do do i jump in and try to date the guy knowing that maybe to i give that advice to anyone you have to

take a chance. Right. It doesn't always work out in your favor, but you need to take the chance. It stings. It stings, but here's the thing. For me, I knew that she hadn't been gone that long. And so I was like, and we all know men seem to find another partner sooner than women do find their partner.

So I thought, well, I can jump in or not, but if I don't jump in, then I don't have a chance. And sure enough, I jumped in. And sure enough, it became very yeah well very quickly that he wanted somebody local uh you know that and so i'm left with from what you told me he wanted somebody that needed him and needed somebody to depend on his finances his whatever you're very independent and i am only to a point susan i know but i love our independence yeah and sometimes and i've been told this all my life and i want to know if you feel the same men say they want an independent woman but they really don't and can i tell

you you are singing my song i've said that a hundred times they really want someone who needs them who depends on them at least that's been my experience so that was a tough one for me especially with the uh holidays approaching but you know what honestly i i was at a uh a uh a gala luncheon of today and i was talking with the woman next to me and we were talking about she recognized me from the show and she said you know you're such an inspiration i can't say old thing i can't believe there aren't men just lighting up at your door and i said to her even if i never meet another man or the man you know what susan i am grateful i have three great kids i have kids. Five great-grandchildren. I have girlfriends. And I have to be happy with that. And I think

sometimes that's more important, being happy with who I am. It is. But when you're in the moment and you're thinking about dating somebody, you forget all that. Right. And I would love to meet someone. I would. But you know what? The lesson I learned is, you know, you have to go for it if the chance, if you're given the chance, you have to go for it. But also, I came off of the disappointed. I mean, you asked me what I would do if he called me in a month and said it didn't work out with the other woman he met. And I said, I would say, no, thank you. Because, no, you said he'd have to like move mountains and have a yacht sitting out there. Yeah, I said it would actually, you're right. Actually, two. One for me, one for you. I said there would have to be a very

grand gesture like naming a yacht after me. Yeah, you're right. I did say that. And we have a friend that's about to meet somebody and it's long distance and they've been chatting a while. I won't mention any names and I know you're nervous about it. I get more excited about it. Kathy's more logical about things. You know why? Because it's it's not that I'm logical like Mel when I hear that. I don't want to see anybody hurt. I don't like that. And so, you know, as the holidays are coming, I'm hoping that that guy is right around the corner for me. But if not, I have so many things in my life to be grateful for. and that's what I'm holding on too. Absolutely.

And with that said, it's leave season. Can I tell you? It's what season? The leaves falling. I get out there with my blower, Kathy. And no sooner did I finish the front, I get out back and they're down in the front again. Okay. I have to tell you, I have a very small yard.

You've been to my house. I had 13 bags of mulch spread the other day. I didn't think it through, Susan. the acorns no the acorns are now falling on top of the mulch and if i don't get the acorns out then i got i have oak trees i've okay so every day i talk about being anal every day i go out and get at least a hundred the acorns that have fallen because it's either getting them before they sprout or pulling the mini trees out of the this is what we do when we're not doing our podcast friends susan is blowing leaves and kathy is pulling out acorns i put a post out there let's

start talking about the mean people out in the world, people with their comments again. I had the blower and the lawnmower, but I hadn't opened the brown bags yet. They're the big leaf bags to dump. People were commenting. What do you do? Just blow the leaves and mulch them and leave them there. And other people are saying, well, yeah, I think that's like fertilization for the lawn. You know what?

Susan, I've got an idea for a video for you. take your blower and just blow it at the camera and say all done somebody else why are you in white it was a hoodie i mean come on i was filthy you know what live dangerously go buy yourself a cheap wedding gown and goodwill and oh the leave you got to get you know what give the people what they want that's what i say go get a wedding gown in white and start blowing the leaves i'm going to go out my sparkly gown next time cut the lawn you know what i got to be careful, though, because Mr. Wright may be looking at my post. So, you know, I don't want the guy thinking, what kind of weirdos out there picking up acorns? Like, I don't know. And she's not

going to need me. Look at her. She got her power tools going on. Remember that year Nancy came. We had our face done last year. Yeah. And Nancy came and she was blowing the leaves because I was out there with the band. Right. Oh, my God. I forgot that. That's a year already. You know what? Time flies when you're having fun. And we're having a blast. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight.

So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the iHeart Radio Act. Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health. And I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.

And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't. Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone. Depends which bone. Well, that's true. Every week we're breaking down the unique world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility

and things that happen in the bedroom. You mean sleep? Yeah, something like that, Jordan. We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about. It's going to be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between. Men's health is about more than six packs and supplements. It's about energy, confidence, and connection.

We don't just want you to live longer. we want you to live better. So check out the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of the On Purpose podcast. Recently, I had the honor of sitting down with the iconic Chris Jenner. You never quite know what or where life is going to lead you and where it's going to be the best lesson you ever learned

and not get distracted by the noise. This is a lot of noise. Even if one of your children has been through something really different, difficult with their partner or an ex-partner, you still love them as part of the unit and the family. These are, in most cases, the fathers of my grandchildren. I love these men, and that love doesn't go away when we experience really challenging times with them. Compassion is key into really feeling what somebody might be going through, even though you don't agree with them. If you once love them, then Love is love.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little bit different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite. musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Rufus Wainwright, Remy Wolfe, Mark Rebier, Mavis Staples, really too many to name. And there's still so much more to come in this new season, including the powerful

psychedelic duo Black Pumas, my old pal and longtime songwriting friend, Jesse Harris, and the legendary Lucinda Williams. Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, my guest, Senator John Fetterman of Pennsylvania, opens up about his 22 stroke, his battle with depression, and his remarkable recovery. Stay in the game and keep it as simple as you can. the lie of depression is that the best solution is to take yourself out. And that is the awful choice you can't ever come back from. But since there's no such thing as a slow newsday, we also talked about the end of the government shutdown, a resolution he helped facilitate

and one that has elicited a lot of anger from his constituents. To put 42 million Americans at food insecurity and not pay our military, that is absolutely the wrong. approach to fight for health insurance. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, it's time to get into the episode. Let's start with the question of the day, my favorite time. Are you ready, Susan?

Let's do it. Here we go. Since we've discussed settling in a relationship, our listeners are curious on how you draw the line between compromise and settling in a relationship. So what does compromise look like in a relationship and can compromise turn into settling? Okay. So you and I actually, we have talked about this. Yes. And there is a difference, I think, between compromise. To me, compromises something smaller, like settling is something that you just knew, which is one of your red flags, and you're going to go be okay with it, that would be settling for me?

Well, I think compromise is a healthy good choice. Compromising could be something like, I don't want to go for Chinese food. I want to go to a steakhouse. Well, I've, and your partner says something else. I think those are compromises. Yes, that's easy. I think settling has to do with a compromising your own moral compass or your value system. So it gets a little confusing when you use that terminology.

But settling for me is when I have been in a relationship and I know it's not the relationship for me. I know that I'm making decisions that don't sit well in my heart, in my spirit. and I've sort of forced myself to do it. Going to a steakhouse instead of a Chinese restaurant to me is a compromise. Compromise and good relationships make those compromises. Kathy, what do you feel could compromises turn into settling in a relationship? I don't. Oh, well, for me, again, at our age, it's a little bit different.

It is. But for me, I'll give you a very big example for me. and people in our age talk about this all the time moving if you find mr right are you willing to move so to me if if if i want to be with the man it is a compromise it would be a compromise for me to not see my grandchildren and my kids every week but i would be willing to compromise because i want to be with the man I'm in love with. That to me would be a compromise. Settling would be this guy wants to move to, you know, East Overshoe, and I'm going to see my kids once a year. Then I'm settling because I know in my heart that I want to see my kids and my grandkids more, but I'm afraid of losing

this guy. I'm afraid that there won't be another opportunity. So I say, okay, and I move to East Dovershoe, which is, you know, 4,000 miles around the globe, and I'm miserable. I said. And you probably regret it within. Oh, I think I, well, for me, you know, what about you? I mean, to me, yes, I can't settle. So I don't regret it. To me, settling is like, say you, you have a picture of what the person should be like, okay,

and his qualities. Uh-huh. And you're going to settle for less because you don't want to be alone. Like, that is not a win for me. Okay, this is where you and I are going to disagree. No, unless you have, you know, Frederick, nonwithstanding, I don't think there is a person out there for either of us that meets every aspect. No, absolutely not.

Well, you just said if he doesn't have the, then you're settling. And my list has changed over the years, as we both talked about many times, because we're not looking for the same things anymore, correct? So what I mean by this is like, for instance, somebody that's rude to the waitress or the waiter and you're going to settle and say, I'm okay with that as long as he says he's going to stop doing it. That's something that's never going to change and you will end up resenting him for it. That's just a for. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I mean, I hear you to me, those aren't settling issues that that's a character flaw that maybe was he just had a bad night. no just maybe at a bad night in a restaurant i mean to me settling are the really big issues of

life um here for me would be settling uh listen he says you know my my i'm making these things up you know my daughter lives in london and we're going to have to spend every christmas in london that's not a compromise that is settling that is a big that's not healthy for my brain for my family for my own well-being and I think that's what it comes down to for me settling is when you have that itky feeling that I this guy something isn't there that you want yeah well feeling there's oh I don't know there's always going to be things in a relationship that could be improved but I think I for me it's so clear I don't know if I'm articulating it well but for me settling is doing something is is having a relationship with someone that goes against my

inner grain my my my spirituality something that I know that I'm I shouldn't be doing this but I'm doing it and let me let me put a car for instance I want a car that has a heated steering wheel well I'll settle for this car even though it doesn't have it like that kind of thing when it comes to a relationship that's a whole other world it's a relationship it's something that you will live to regret if you have you settled in relationships before i don't believe so oh i've compromised oh i i have definitely settled not long term because that's why i well that's why it doesn't that's that's why it doesn't but um anyway i think that i think people mistake uh they mix up the two terms because yes and i could see how yeah yeah

compromise for anyone out there who doesn't who's in a relationship who doesn't think you will be compromising you're going to make a lot of compromises in your relationship you're going to make a lot of sacrifices to make the relationship work you can't be right all the time you can't do right and that right and that's why I'm saying it's it's it's those really deep uh guiding force that when you go against it then you know you're settling and it's that feeling like you just try to push it away and and say it's not there but in your heart of heart you know it is so you know a waiter being rude to a waiter that to me is not that's not a settling issue that but if that was his trait that he does it all the time that would be something that she yeah yeah both you and I both know

that we would never tolerate it we would never agree that that's okay but yeah well you know anyway it's listen I'd have to have the relationship to talk about or settling. So, I mean, I would ask you one thing, and you don't have to answer it. What is the biggest compromise you've made with Frederic so far? Because you've told me you're not settling. So what's the biggest compromise you've made? Being okay with him not being as neat as I am.

That's the biggest compromise. Kathy, you know me. Oh, that's true. Huge. All right. Let's get into our fan questions for today. Frederick, get it cleaned up while she's working today. I get that house ship shape.

All right, go ahead. All right, I'm going to start us off, and this is from Anonymous. Kathy and Susan, I really need your advice. I've always struggled with my relationship with my sister-in-law. When my husband and I first started dating in college, she and I weren't around each other much. For the first two years, they barely acknowledged me. And when they finally did, it often felt like they were poking fun at me.

Last fall, four days after my husband and I got engaged, she announced she was three weeks pregnant. To make matters worse, she shared the news at a family dinner that she had intentionally not included me in. It felt like our engagement had been completely overshadowed, and I spiraled. When my mother-in-law heard we were upset, she made us come over to talk.

She revealed my sister-in-law had admitted she was getting close to me on purpose. Oh, she wasn't getting close to me on purpose. Excuse me. My M-I-L pressured me, mother-in-law, pressured me into confronting her. So I did, honestly, and with an open heart. But instead of apologizing, my sister-in-law dismissed everything, made excuses, and told me never to bring it up again. not long after my mom scheduled my bridal shower three months before my bridal shower my mother-in-law told me the only weekends she'd like for my sister-in-law's baby shower were either the day after my shower or four days before

i begged her not to schedule it in the same weekend unsurprisingly most of their skip most of them skipped my shower my sister-in-law's baby shower was four days before mine and she had a second one the day after mine. Wow. By this point I had been in therapy for months trying to learn how to best handle their family. Things escalated again when it came to choosing our bridal party. My husband and my mother-in-law initially agreed it would be easiest if his sister and her husband weren't in the wedding. I was completely fine with this decision given the history. But when we told them, it turned into a yelling match. My sister-in-law actually said, a wedding isn't important. A baby is important. Months later, my mother-in-law

took me estate sailing and broke down crying about how devastated she was that they weren't in the wedding. At that point, I caved. I was exhausted from fighting and just gave in. So they ended up being in the wedding after all. Our wedding day itself was beautiful, but their lack of consideration was obvious. They left early and didn't even bother to give us a card, let alone a gift. After everything, it felt like one final reminder of how selfish they are. I need to get past this as they are my husband's family, but wow, is that tough? How would you handle things going forward? Love you both.

wow they're bitches you know what i think this might have been my sister-in-law oh my i think i think this is i'm it's it's my sister-in-law reincarnated well wait i knew your mother-in-law was something but your sister-in-law too there were two there were twins one is the sweetest one known to man the other one is from hell she rides on a broom but let's not let's not talk about her you know let's just have positive hair okay here's what i think I think a couple of things. The husband, first of all, their behavior anonymous is just ridiculous. It's intolerable.

It is disgraceful. It is rude. It's unkind. I can give you enough adjectives to fill the hour here. But your husband and your mother-in-law agree that they shouldn't be in the wedding. And I'm sorry that you quote unquote caved because you could have just left it alone and said, I'm sorry, you know, your mom, your brother, we all agreed and pushed it off on her family. You didn't do that.

And I understand in the moment it was probably difficult. When she says, your sister-in-law says babies are important, weddings aren't. I mean, that tells you everything right there. But I'll bet you one thing. I bet her wedding was important. So here's the deal. How dare she say. Yeah, but here's the thing.

But here's the thing. They're not nice people. You can spend the rest of your life anonymous getting even. Or you and your husband can have a serious talk about building your own family when you have children and seeing your in-laws, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, when it is convenient. And I'm sorry to say this, but I say it from experience anonymous, put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family, Sunday gatherings, kumbaya, it's probably never going to happen. So, you know, be polite. Always be polite. Yes. What do you think?

Obviously, there's two choices here, like for them not even to leave a card or a gift. of any sort to do the same thing to her is not something I recommend I would be the better person pardon me she's already married she's already married she's already I know with the baby gifts you know what I'm saying as far as your mother-in-law's concerned I mean really to to start having a hissy fit because they're not in the wedding and then you do this will no no no change this is but the mother-in-law be this way yes but the mother-in-law and son her husband agreed for them not for her and not to be in the wedding i think it's just as you know the old in the old country this is a michiganas and you're not going to fix it so about when they were talking

kathy about please don't have it the same week as my baby shower i mean my wedding shower and then they did it four days before that's just rude and half the people didn't go to the second one yeah so didn't come to her the wedding shower so so what you know focus on the marriage with your husband you know i have a friend in california who i have this conversation with who has trouble with her mother-in-law similar kind of situation from you know she seems to have the most fabulous husband and she has a fabulous child and focus on your family that's what i wish i had done more of and just seeing the um mother-in-law when i had to seen the you know cats but you know that stung until you grew.

It did. And that's what I'm saying. Anonymous. Learn what took me many years. Be polite. Be, don't invite them on vacation. Invite them for dinner. They can't come.

Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. Maybe another time. Always be above the friend. I wouldn't invite that sister-in-law for dinner. No freaking way. Well, see, I would. You know, why I would? Because I love.

She'd probably cancel. That's okay. I loved my husband. And if it was important to my husband, I would do it. Yeah. I didn't, I would do it. I would invite. And then when they say, no, thank you, I'd look at my husband and say, I love you so

much. I'm glad we're a family. And how about when the sister-in-law admitted that she wasn't getting close to her own purpose? What's that about? Anonymous. They're not nice people. Get over it. You have a lovely husband.

Get over the fact. that your sister-in-law seems to be a selfish bitch. Your mother-in-law seems to be totally invested in her daughter. Of course. So I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound hard. I'm giving you the advice anonymous that I wished I had taken to my own marriage because my mother-in-law was brutal and my father-in-law.

And it really did cause issues for my husband and myself. And I had a great husband. So I do. I always used to say to my husband, and like did a pit, you know, did you get dropped by the stork? Like, where did you come from? And if you exchange gifts at Christmas, get her an ugly Christmas sweater. Okay.

Okay, we're moving on. We don't move on. Anonymous, good luck. I feel your pain. I, honest to God, and I know from Kathy's experience, it's not easy. And it's easy for us to say, just go about your life, worry about you and your husband. But it does sting. We're not going to excuse that.

Right. It does. but it's not going to change. It's not going to change. So don't spend, spend your effort making your marriage good, making your husband happy, building your relationship when you guys have children, build your family. Because ultimately, that is what's going to matter in your life. And let us know anonymous how things go.

And by the way, congrats on your wedding. Yes. Okay. Let's move on to question too from another anonymous writer. And just so you all know, don't ever feel like you have to put your. name in when you send us questions we we're going to answer them whether you put your name down or not so good good for you for writing a decade ago i was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught the answers were there hidden in plain sight so why did it take so long to catch him i'm josh zeman and this is monster

hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.

And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't. Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone. Depends which bone. Well, that's true. Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom. You mean sleep? Yeah, something like that, Jordan. We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.

It's going to be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between. Men's Health is about more than six-packs and supplements. It's about energy, confidence, and connection. We don't just want you to live longer. We want you to live better. So check out the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of the On Purpose podcast. Recently, I had the honor of sitting down with the iconic Chris Jenner.

You never quite know what or where life is going to lead you and where it's going to be the best lesson you ever learned. and not get distracted by the noise. This is a lot of noise. Even if one of your children has been through something really difficult with their partner or an ex-partner, you still love them as part of the unit and the family. These are, in most cases, the fathers of my grandchildren. I love these men, and that love doesn't go away

when we experience really challenging times with them. Compassion is key in terms. to really feeling what somebody might be going through. Even though you don't agree with them, if you once love them, then love is love. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little bit different, but it all involves music and conversation

with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Rufus Wainwright, Remy Wolf, Mark Rebier, Mavis Staples, really too many to name. And there's still so much more to come in this new season, including the powerful psychedelic duo Black Pumas, my old pal and long-time songwriting friend Jesse Harris

and the legendary Lucinda Williams. Lizzie and Nora Jones is playing along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, my guest Senator John Federman of Pennsylvania opens up about his 22 stroke, his battle with depression and his remarkable recovery. Stay in the game and keep it as simple as you can because the lie of depression is that the best solution is to take yourself out.

And that is the awful choice you can't ever come back from. But since there's no such thing as a slow newsday, we also talked about the end of the government shutdown, a resolution he helped facilitate, and one that has elicited a lot of anger from his constituents. To put 42 million Americans at food insecurity and not pay our military, that is absolutely the wrong approach to fight for health insurance. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, ladies. I'm wondering what your take is on couples being together for a long time before they get engaged. I've been with my boyfriend for three years and we're in our mid-20s. We're already getting the quote, when are you getting engaged questions. And they're getting more and more and more frequent from friends and family. My boyfriend and I have talked about marriage. We're confident.

We are each other's end game. My boyfriend is holding off on marriage due to money, you know, wedding costs, figuring out where we want to settle down and then buying a house, et cetera. For me, not only do I agree with those reasons, I also. just don't feel ready to get married. It almost feels like I'm too young, even though I'm really not. So I know where I stand in my relationship, but my question is this. Why do people view it as such a red flag if you are together for a long time before getting married? Should I be concerned that we don't feel ready yet? I guess I'm just looking for an outside perspective to help me feel

more confident in how I feel. Thanks, ladies. What do you think? Absolutely not. You do it when you're ready, don't let other people influence you one way or the other. I think it's just old school. You know, you're together so many years. The next thing in line is the engagement. And the next thing is the marriage. And then the next thing is you have a baby. Not, you don't have to necessarily follow that rule. You do you. But when she says, I don't feel ready to get married. like it's her age that she said it's almost like I feel too young even though I'm not she's good in her relationship but let me ask this and Kathy I want your opinion if you're with somebody three years and do you not know what what is I'm too young to get

married me well they're in their mid 20s and these are all judgment calls I think getting married in your mid-20s is about as early, especially in this world, in this day and time that you want to get married. But who am I? Like, I'm not the judge and jury here. I, I mean, my daughter dated a guy three years and didn't end up marrying him. I don't think there's, yeah, there's no, there's no, I think anonymous, I think Susan's right. People just tend to go with tradition. they tend to go with historically people date, get married, all those things. But I do want to say one thing to anonymous. Your boyfriend, you said, is holding off on marriage due to the wedding costs

where you want to settle down, buy a house. Let me just tell you, those things are fluid in life. You may buy six houses. You may move to four different cities. You may decide on a huge way. you may decide to elope you may decide you're not ready to have children for five years 10 years these are things that change over time and so what i don't hear you saying is that your husband uh sorry your boyfriend is not ready because of the cost and those decisions um and you feel

like you're too young so what i'm hearing is a good relationship where you two enjoy each other you're, I'm assuming you both work, you know where you stand in your relationship and you're comfortable with that. And you know what? That is a sign of maturity. You know what you want today. You don't have to be looking 10 years down the road. But I would encourage you and your boyfriend to talk about the fact that, you know, is the time ever perfect? I assure you, it's never perfect time to have children. You know, the house you buy, a year after you buy it, you may get transferred for work. So be a little more.

Or Kathy, what about say, well, let's, let's just do us. And then when we're 29 or 30, we'll revisit the marriage thing. Do we still feel like, I mean, what is the wedding, the marriage? Do you commit to one another or you're legally binding because of a piece of paper, a marriage? And I don't think they're really sure yet. I don't think they're there yet. I don't. Listen, lots of people have children and they're not married.

lots of people live together, not married. Lots of people. Define what works for you, anonymous. Define you and your boyfriend, define the relationship that works for you and revel in it. Enjoy what you have together. And don't worry so much about the future. You know, what people say, these comments,

Kathy, like she's saying, why do they always view it as a ready? Well, it's when are you going to get married? Just say someday, someday, when we're ready, you know. You know, you don't even have to say that. say, if your friends are married and anonymous, you can say them, I'm so glad you're married and you have the life you want. Whatever your boyfriend, let's call them Johnny. Johnny and I right now are living our best lives. We're in this great chapter of our life and we're so happy. And, you know, life gives us all lots of chapters. And we're in this one right

now and we're having fun and let it go. And I'm happy that you found happiness because ultimately anonymous finding love and happiness is the most important thing in life it is and just do you and enjoy this time with him yeah all right but let us know for writing in wait susan you're losing your touch i i can't believe you didn't make an advertisement if they do decide to get married that you're a wedding officiant well she's not ready yet so yeah okay well when you do if you do susan will be available i can officiate and i'll come throw rose petals all right we're going to move in to um i love this we're going to do another golden spotlight and this one is all about technology sus oh boy okay let's talk i mean you i don't know about you i was born with black and white

television let's just start with that when my kids were young yeah i mean when my kids were young we didn't have computers my first phone was like a suitcase i remember the first computer i got my kids, it was a Macintosh Apple. The thing was just huge. Why do you think, I mean, I know what I think. Why do you think Golden struggles so much with technology? Because they're not used to it. They weren't taught it in school. When you do it every day, it's a part of life, then you learn it better. I just know with my AI, my chat, GPT, he's like my best friend. Yeah, but you know, that bothers me that you use, let me just, you, you, you, you, you, you, You went straight to AI.

You know, AI has some great uses. But you know what it does for me, Kathy? It keeps me from having the Google research. I just ask him and he goes and looks. Yeah, but see, that's lazy, Susan. You're being lazy. I don't, there's not enough time in the day, some days when you want some information. Do you not ask Alexa something like, Alexa, what's the weather today?

No, I don't. You never ask her what the weather's going to be? I don't ask Alexa what time is, you know, I use Alexa to turn on my music and I use Alexa. You set a timer when I'm baking. Before I open my eyes and I'm laying in bed, I want to know time. But I don't want to look at a phone or any light. So I say, Alexa, what time is it? Okay.

But that's different than chap, GBT, write me a letter to my landlord. So, I mean, I just think it's well-worded. You wouldn't understand that because you were an English person. I mean, I get that. Well, all right, back to the whole technology that I think, I think Golden's, Right. We did grow up. I know myself, I challenge myself to try to learn things. And sometimes I fail to play. But once someone, I do want to learn. Like, I want to learn how to do a young person. I'll get somebody to teach me how to do it. Or I'll research it. Like I'll do a YouTube video. But I think Golden's are, you know, they grew up on freaking rotary phones. And you know what? The young people are listening to Instagram. What the hell is. a rotary phone. However, I think technology, I don't know if you, if you heard about this,

but families today, thank God my children are grown because, you know, giving kids smartphones when they're six, I don't subscribe to it. But a lot of families are going back to landlines and giving their kids like, you know, a phone and a phone number. Yeah, go ahead and talk to your friends because they don't want them being being involved. The phone is also social media. You know, it's not just a phone. That's right. And technology is social media.

It's AI. I have found doing videos for me. It's not as intuitive. That's what I would say. Younger kids, because they grew up on it, it's intuitive. You know, click on this highlight post. I know. Just click and paste.

And to me. that's not as intuitive but I get it people say to me Kathy how can you write that so well I don't know it's I've done it so long it's intuitive it's just what we grew up with however I think a lot of people our age my sister's one for I mean she just told me yesterday her she has an iPhone 6 and she has to get rid of it because it's not being supported anymore I mean she can't update it yeah she uses it to call people I mean she I take pride in being 29 as I am and learning new technology all the time like but I don't think people golden's necessarily want to how many how many people were on at before you and I went on the show because of

my job that I didn't understand Instagram I know see I was on Instagram I was one of the first I had it when it used to be um and Twitter now my space X when it was 140 characters like it from the beginning of time, but you have to want, I think you have to have a curious mind. A desire to learn, yeah, yeah. To understand it, yeah. And I think that. Well, do you remember your, my grandmother, I'm sure yours,

when we had cell phones or a computer and she's like, oh my God, what is the world coming to? Like, what does that do? They had encyclopedias that we look up things. You know what I mean? Yeah. I will say, I love. For me, all being able to research things online and go down rabbit, you know, type in something

on my computer and, and you're going to be lost for hours sometimes. You know what I said type. That's right there, typewriter. Yeah, but I'm saying I love that. I love learning new technology. I'm not as good as I would like to be, but I actually like it. I will tell you, I don't think this affects Goldens as much, but it's my PSA for the day. my biggest problem with social media and it just gets more with with TikTok and all the

different social media platforms young people today do not they first of all spend too much time of technology they're just glued to their phones but they also think that everything they see on well that it's that it's everyone's complete life and I always say back when I was an educational consultant, the world that we see that people post on Instagram, on TikTok, on any social media is the lives they want. It's the lives they want to portray that they're living that kind of life 24-7. And they're not. And so I think that is a problem with technology. But it is part of the new age, if you will, because me being in hairdressing and I used to give out a free makeover, color cut, a whole new.

look, makeup, and that would sell me. People would say, who did your hair? Now you could just do it, you could just Google it, how to do it. Well, no, because now you have to advertise for yourself, your Ballyas, you've got to take pictures of every client. I worked on a 30-minute book, and then when you're taking pictures, unless you hire a photographer to come into the salon with you, you have to sell yourself out there on social media for hair just because I'm... But, see, in some ways, I think that's great. It's, I mean, there's two sides of it, right? The good side of the coin is the tech boom has made connection. It's made connection to careers, to jobs, to people, to opportunities so much more prevalent. And that's fabulous. I love

that part of it. I don't like the part that people spend too much time, including Goldens, on technology and not developing friendships. We take so much time sometimes because it takes It's a long time to figure it out, Cassie. Yeah, well, yeah, I'm better than most. I actually, though, could you give up your phone? Could you give up? No, I love that. Not having any technology.

No, Susan's too busy asking ChatGBT to write her next letter for her. I'm going to get you off that. I love that. I love it. All right. We could just talk about this for hours. You know that, right? Always.

And that was fun. And I wanted to thank all of our listeners for joining us today. We really enjoy talking with you, sharing our. ideas with you and love when you tell us things. Yeah, we really enjoy it. Be sure to follow us. Bachelor Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out every week. You don't want to miss even one. Not at Wold. And make sure you submit your questions to us. And you remember how to do that. Go to bachelornation.com slash golden hour or DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. Yeah, please do that. Take a minute to use your technology to reach out to us. That's what we want.

But in the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week. Thank you. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers. But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer,

the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years. Until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls. came forward with a story. America, y'all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns. Listen to Graves County on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And to binge the entire season, add free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. Jingle, bell, jingle all the way. Yo, yo, yo, can we get Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. What's up, y'all? It's Kadeen. And DeVal, the host of the Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season, tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After. On Ellis Ever After, we get real with our crew about family, love and marriage,

and everything else in between. Listen to Ellis Ever After on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Ellis Ever After and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. Thanksgiving isn't any. just about food. It's a day for us to show up for one another. It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other. I'm Eliacani, host of the podcast Family Therapy, a series where real families come together to heal and find hope. I've always wanted us to have therapy, so this is such a beautiful opportunity. Listen to season two of family therapy

every Wednesday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Yvesa and I'm Maite Gomes Gron and this week on our podcast, Hungry for History, we talk oysters plus the Mianbe Chief stops by. If you're not an oyster lover, don't even talk to me. Ancient Athenians used to scratch names onto oyster shells to vote politicians into exile. So our word ostracize is related to the word oyster. No way. Bring back the OsterCon.

Listen to Hungry for History on the I-Hartisan. Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.