Bachelor Happy Hour - Sarah Herron Talks Engagement, Her Solo Road Trip, and IVF Journey

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

Bachelor Nation’s Sarah Herron, who appeared on Sean Lowe’s season of “The Bachelor” and two seasons of “Bachelor in Paradise,” joins Becca and guest co-host Catherine Lowe to share the news about her recent engagement. She reveals all the details on the proposal, plus whether her fiancé ever watched her on “The Bachelor.” Sarah also discusses her plan to freeze her eggs and explains how she came to that decision. Then, learn more about Sarah’s incredible nonprofit organization, SheLift, and how she is empowering young women born with physical differences. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe saved my life twice. Welcome to Season 2 of The Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, we're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials is easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

Welcome back, Happy Hour listeners. And before we begin today, we've got some really exciting news, not just because I have my girl, Catherine Lowe, back on with me. But we are officially at the two-week mark that will soon be the premiere for Katie's season. And I can't believe we're already here. I can't believe it's starting so soon. I mean, Catherine, I feel like we just wrapped Matt season. And so buckle up because we're going to be on another wild adventure very soon.

Catherine, welcome back. How have you been this past couple weeks or these past couple days? When's the last time we spoke last week? It's been good. Crazy. I had Isaiah's third birthday party. He wanted a hippo party. So it's been a lot.

But it's been exciting. And I'm excited to continue to do this podcast with you and talk to Sarah today. Where did Isaiah's love for hippos come from? I don't know. He's always been into hippos. I have no idea. But when I think it was like a couple months ago, he was talking about, we were like, okay, well, what kind of party do you want? And he said, he doesn't, he's trying to work on words, but he said hippo potty.

And I think I talked about it so often. I talk about every night, dream about your hippo party, dream about your hippo party. Now, like, when it came time, he was like so over hippos. But he's back on now because I stopped talking. about it and carries on these little hippo figurines in this bucket and just walks around with the hippos. I don't know. But it's, it's very him, like it's look like a hippo. He kind of looks like a little hippo. He kind of looks like a little hippo. So I think it's perfect. He chose a really good animal. And they're fierce. Please tell me, like, did Sean or anyone show up in a hippo costume?

No, thank goodness. I was on theme. Actually, it was really funny. I was wearing this dress to the party and my sister-in-law came up to me. She was like, don't take this the wrong way. I thought you were very on theme. You kind of look like a hippo, but not like you look like a hippo, but the colors you have are kind of hippo like. I was like, thank you. I love being on theme. I actually thought about the colors what I was wearing, but she was like, I didn't want to like scream at you from the other part, at the end of the party saying you was like a hippo. But isn't a hippo just gray? Well, I had like gray and then like purple and blue in it. And it had like the puffy sleeves and it was like a big kind of dress.

So I totally see that she thought that I love that. And not in a mean way, but it was funny. Did you ever play Hungry, Hungry Hippo when you were younger? Okay, we have that at our lakehouse and the kids keep like either putting the ball, like the little tiny red balls in their mouths or we keep losing them. So we're over hungry, hungry hippos until they get a little bit older. Got it. Got it. At what age do you, do you have kids pick their themes for?

their birthday? Because he's three. So is this the first year? This is his first year. And then Samuel was, his was, last year was safari, or not safari. Sorry, he wanted a swamp theme. Oh. And I was like, oh my gosh. I got to figure out how to, what was a swamp? How did you, yeah, what did you do for a swamp thing? Like, put like, like, cattails and turtles a round. Yes. Yes, I got cattails. And I got that like netting, that like vinyl netting, but like it's camo and I tried to make it look all like swampy in our front yard and it was the it was a drive-through birthday party and it's July 2nd so it's like really humid here so it kind of felt like perfect for the swamp theme I'm just like picturing you and Sean like grabbing like mud and just like covering

your faces like painting your face. We didn't go that hard. I it's so funny I feel like I'm I'm obviously not a mom but I'm an aunt and I feel like once my niece in me starts to get a little bit older and actually, you know, like really enjoy and celebrate the birthdays. I'm so ready to be the crazy aunt that goes all out. I'm excited for you to wear these costumes that you think should be part of a birthday party. Oh, just you wait, Catherine, just you wait. My mom's also the type of person who she'll keep old outfits, old Halloween costumes, dance outfits, everything for any time for for any time. So if I can still squeeze into some of it, I'm going to try. If Amy can fit into some of it she sure will um but they're it's just it's so fun having young kids around because it makes

you relive your own childhood memories like you know for a while when you're growing up it kind of loses its sparkle and the magic so it's fun to see the world and fun celebrations like that through children's eyes so yeah yeah kids are kids are nuts well i'm glad he picked a hippo theme this this really made my morning i can't wait to see more photos um and i can't wait to see what they have to pick in the years to come for their birthdays. All right, guys, well, we could go on and on talking about birthdays. I'm actually going to a child's birthday this

weekend. I think, I want to say it's mini mouse theme, so it might be a little bit more tame. Classic. But, you know, it's a good, she's only two, so it's, I think, like a good entrance into the birthday celebration world. But you guys, we could keep talking about this. We

can't leave our incredible guest waiting. She's another one who was from Sean's season. And she was also, on two seasons of Bachelor in Paradise. So she's been in this world for a while, but she also has been just living her best life and has done so many incredible things outside of the franchise.

She is the founder of She Lift and she just got engaged so we cannot wait to celebrate with her and congratulate her in person. So very soon, we will be having Sarah Heron on with us. But in the meantime, speaking of engagements, Catherine, I don't know

if you stalk a lot of people from Bachelor Nation on social media, but I feel like in the past week or two, there has been so many. What is in the water? I don't know, but I'm glad. I'm glad. Everyone's so, it's a great cloud to be on. Everybody's on the same cloud.

We're all encouraging each other and supporting each other in this really exciting chapter. So Sarah's up. Sarah's up. Sarah's up. Yeah, so many engagements. And it's been fun to see because, you know, like, whether they found love on the show, outside of the show, with other people on different seasons, sins. It's just love is love and it's so good to be able to spread that, especially in such a weird

dark year that people have had. And so congratulations to everyone. I know Caitlin Bristol recently got engaged. The twins got engaged. Sydney High Tower got engaged. And now Sarah. So I think we should just bring her on and talk to her about all things that she is doing in her relationship, in this new engagement. And she has a lot of incredible fun, new journeys, chapters, if you will, coming up. So without further ado, we are going to be bringing on Sarah Heron right now. Okay. Sarah, welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour. This is obviously your first time with us.

And I want to first say that obviously people are listening. They can't always view this video footage, but you look lovely. You are glowing, young and in love. And before we even begin, I want to check in with you because you have such exciting news to share with the world. Thank you. I know. It's so exciting to be here.

and meet you Becca and Catherine it's been like forever I know I know it's probably been like five years um or six maybe I don't know but yes thank you I'm either glowing because I'm running around sweating or because I just got engaged we'll say the latter let's let's see the ring oh she's a beauty oh that's really pretty is that a lot of diamonds oh my gosh he did well oh that's really pretty what is that called bagette designed this for sure you did so beautiful you do yeah because I knew exactly what I wanted and so um I told I mean I told him and I sent him reference images like because Dylan I mean he he was clueless you know so he straight up was like make a Pinterest board for me someday

for when we're ready. I don't know what you want. And so I was like, I will make it very simple for you. And we have an amazing family friend who's a jewelry designer. And so the two of them worked together. And it is great because she, like, knows what I like. She designed my stepmom's ring. And, yeah, so it was, they did it.

They did all the hard work, but they definitely knew exactly what I wanted. I love that. That's the way to do it, really. Yeah. we know that you two met on Sean's season which was what season 17 is it? Eight years ago eight and a half years ago something like that

I think it's like maybe I don't know maybe I lost count but I think this fall is like nine years yeah I think so okay oh my gosh it makes me feel old no it makes me feel ancient because I'm like that's almost a decade and you know yeah I'm just like I'm surprised people

I've been someone who I am but you can reinventing yourself which is awesome and for maybe some of our newer listeners and our newer viewers to the show give us a little bit of your background obviously you know we saw you on sean sees and you've done paradise but give us more a background let our listeners get to know sarah more and then we'll get into the juicy good stuff yeah um okay so flashed back nine years ago I was working in advertising in Los Angeles and I had this dream of going on the Bachelor. I had watched it. I think most recently had watched Emily Maynard's season. And so I actually had a friend who got called in for casting and she went there and she was like, you know, I don't think

I'm a good fit for this, but I have a friend who really is. And so she nominated me. They called me in and, you know, I was like, yeah, I believed in the fairy tale and I wanted it really, really bad. And I mean, case and point, like Sean and Catherine, hello, they embody the fairy tale come true. And so, yeah, so they brought me in and I was really nervous. I was struggling with like a lot of insecurities. I was born without my left arm. And so stepping on to this like public stage.

you know, I was just really grappling with, like, who I am, what my story is, like, can I be confident enough to do this? And so it just, it really was an incredible experience that allowed me to, like, believe in myself. And when the show was over, all said and done, I went back to work. And then shortly after Bachelor in Paradise was a brand new show. They invited me to come be on it as, like, this trial. They had no, idea what it was going to be. I showed up, had a great time. I don't think people, many people watched season one initially, but I think people have like gone back and watched it later on Hulu or whatever it's on. And then didn't find love, got invited back again for Bachelor in

Paradise Three, had a wonderful time, also still didn't find love, and came home. And then I just started doing my thing. I decided to start a nonprofit called Sheelift that helps other young women with physical disabilities discover confidence through the outdoors. Obviously, I'm from Colorado. I love recreation. I love adventure. And it was while I was running the nonprofit, I met Dylan. So to close the circle, I met Dylan. He's a photographer, filmmaker, and I hired him to come work for Sheelift. and pretty much immediately was like, oh, I got a crush on that guy. And the rest is history, I guess, four years later, finally locked it down. Put a ring on it.

So obviously you've been together four years now. He just proposed, you said you weren't expecting it. How did he lay everything out? I looked at your Instagram and saw all of the cute photos, but give us a rundown of what that special moment was like. Yeah. Like I said, I mean, it was a surprise in the sense that I didn't know it's happening like what time frame, but we've been talking about getting married and getting engaged for quite a while now because we're on this fertility journey. We're pursuing IVF. We want to be parents together. And he knows that getting engaged is something I want. And so even though we're a little out of order, we had talked about the process. And so I knew it was coming. Obviously, he had asked for ring inspiration.

I just didn't know when. And then it was just a typical Saturday. We were going to go rafting with one of my friends, a couple of our friends. And immediately, Dylan, I think, was just like, I just got to rip the band-aid off and do it. And so it was our perfect. It was what we loved doing. It was in our hometown. And it was with my best friend.

And it was just kind of like not. overhyped and I think that's what made it so perfect. It's so cool. It was so sweet. I love that. Do you think, I always wondered this because for the, I would assume most people who get engaged, they know it's coming and they've had conversations. It's not completely out of the blue. It's not like in this weird sped up time frame like the show, you know, after two months. But it's still so funny when I hear stories about men being so nervous. in that moment. It's like, I'm sure

whoever they're with is going to say yes, but it's cute that you're like, he just had to rip the bandit off. Yeah, they said it like burns a hole in your pocket or something. Just like sitting there like, I gotta do it. Well, he's probably scared if you were about to go rafting. He's like, well, shit, what if it parts out of the pocket or something.

I mean, that's what I was like, aren't you worried about, like, this is not exactly the safest place to be doing this. He's like, insured. Okay. he'd still be shaking in his boots if that went down in the river oh my gosh did you wear it on was it after the raft or was it before it was at the very beginning of the day so i was truly like clinging on to it and every time we went over a rapid my like two best friends were like holding on to me

it felt over exaggerated but they were like we're not like that rain go in the water no you just got it you got to hang on to that baby Yeah, yeah, I know. It does take getting used to, like, every time I, you know, you're just not used to, like, having something so precious on your hand, and every time I, like, whack it on the refrigerator or something. I'm like, I remember first meeting you. I actually remember the first night with you on the show. I remember what you wore. And I remember going to, I know that sounds so weird, but we went, a couple of us girls went to the bathroom together. And, um, I just remember having such great conversations with you where you were vulnerable, but you were also showing a very cool empowered sense about what you, I mean, you did everything. You repelled off buildings and you, I mean, it was just a really cool thing to witness what you were able to do and that you can now empower so many other women through She-Lift. I think that is so cool.

Like, how did you get started with a nonprofit? Thank you. it took a long time because like I said that first season even though like you might have gotten that impression I like I was still struggling with my identity and my confidence and I think there was probably a lot of like fake it till you make it and you know I wanted to appear strong and confident even though deep inside it probably wasn't really and when I came home from the show I started getting messages from people literally all across the world who mostly like young women who were like I was also born without my arm and I've never seen someone that looks like me

on TV and at the time I was kind of like I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this like I had never been put in that position to be like a mentor and I was just still struggling myself. So I didn't know what to do with it and the messages just kept coming in and then after two rounds of Bachelor in Paradise, I was like, okay, this is, this is like a, this is something I need to do, do something with this. Like, there's so many people out there. And I love being in the outdoors. I'm growing my confidence in skiing and hiking and doing all these things. And even though I might not know how to be a mentor, I know how to take girls on adventures. And so I was like I could I should just start taking these young women who are struggling with self-esteem and

confidence the same way I was on adventures and then through community and being together and pushing their comfort zones you know they'll form community so that's kind of how it started I was only ever going to do like one retreat just kind of a feel-good thing and as soon as I launched the nonprofit I mean it just took off and gave me the opportunity to quit my corporate job and chase it full time. That is so cool. That is so cool. That is such an incredible story and journey. And I, I mean, commend you for realizing like, I think the show at times gives people this like false sense of confidence. It's like, you know, it's cool because like you're doing something that most of the world and people never get to do. So it's, it's like this weird sense of

like confidence, empowerment, like, yeah, I'm on a TV show, but it's so fleeting, you know, it's like season comes, season go. And so I think for you to take what you heard from all of your followers and from the viewers that, you know, don't have this opportunity or don't always look like everybody else or have the same opportunity or means and to build up their confidence is incredible. How many, so you said you started, Sheila, four years ago, correct? yes 2016 five years ago

five years okay so since then how many retreats how much has it grown how many followers like how many

girls have you inspired or or boys as well I don't know if like it's all encompassing yeah I'm brothers but yeah

the programming is strictly for young girls okay women and mom sometimes we've done

some mother daughter that's cute so we've done five retreats in five years, it's about one, one a year. But with COVID, like everything came to a halt. Being an organization that's like rooted in being in person together and forming those connections,

we've really just been on hiatus for about a year. So hopefully looking forward to getting some programming back together, maybe late this summer or next summer for sure. But, you know, we have like a huge online following. We have a private Facebook group, which is really special. That's where a lot of the women connect and can ask questions. Like, even if they've never met, you know, they're asking questions about dating and what photos they should put on their online dating profile.

Do you show your arm? Do you not show your arm? Things like that that young women are curious about. And so it's really cool just to see, like, I really, it's all them. Like, I consider myself a facilitator and I bring them together, but they are leaning on one another for mentorship and support. So cool.

What kind of adventures have you, like, what were the, what were the excursions or the retreat? And then what are you looking forward to doing next? Yes. Okay, so we've done skiing. Obviously, that was like the inaugural retreat because skiing was a very, like, pivotal sport in developing my confidence in the outdoors, and then we've gone repelling, we've done paddleboarding, hiking. One year we were staying at a facility where we kind of did a ton of activities, everything from like archery to rock climbing to ropes course, that sort of stuff. But pie in

the sky, my dream is I would love to do a multi-day trip on the Grand Canyon, rafting trip. So So that would be a little different. You know, we'd like hire a guide service and a little more like glamping. They kind of take care of everything for you and you're just along for the adventure and like being together. On average, how many girls are on each retreat? So we've experimented with a variety and the smallest group was four and the biggest was 20. And we found that the sweet spot really is in like the six to 10 person range.

And that's because in the smaller groups, it's just so much easier for the girls to get to a vulnerable place faster. And that's where like the true magic happens, right? So if it's four girls sitting around a campfire, six girls, you really are challenged to step out of that comfort zone and share. And when there's 20 women, it's easier to kind of like sit to the back and let other people share. So it's just easier to form like meaningful relationships when the group is a little smaller. Mm-hmm. And you're going on a two-person adventure now. Today? Today. Yeah, yeah, starting out by myself, but it'll be, yes, probably the biggest adventure of my life coming up. I think this is what you're talking about, right?

Yeah, your road trip, right? Yeah. I'm not going to show you like, oh, you're coming to Dallas. Yeah, so I'm leaving today in a few minutes. I'm going to go on a sort of. solo road trip, making my way out to Northern California, slowly, with my dog. So we'll make it out to Tahoe. We're going to spend a few days. I got a cute little cabin right on the lake. I'm going to paddleboard, do some journaling, all the self, you know, reflective work.

And then a few days later, I'm meeting Dylan in California. And we're going to begin our IVF journey. Yeah. Oh, really? That is so cool. that got even better. Yeah. That's the adventure that you were talking about.

Oh, my gosh. I mean, you're going to road trip, but I didn't know the end was that. That's so cool. This is so exciting. We just had Leslie Murphy on who obviously, you know her from Sean Seeson as well. And she was talking about her travel solo adventuring. And then the week after we had Astrid on who was just opening up about her IVF and fertility journey with Kevin. And she, you know, is also engaged from Paradise.

And so this is, I feel like we've come full circle because we've had so many of these great, incredible, strong, badass women sharing really personal journeys with us. So I feel just grateful that you guys are all here and able to open up with us. And I have a question. And where in Northern California will you be? Because I just did my whole egg freezing journey up there too. So I wonder if you're working with Dr. Amy, right? Is that who you're with?

Are you with that? Oh my gosh. Okay, when you said more than California, okay, she is incredible. I'm sure you've had many face times, many conversations with her. You are in the best hands. Like, she is such a rock star at what she does, but she has this way of just making you feel like you're the only one that she's working with. And like she genuinely wants just the best for you and your partner.

Obviously, I didn't have a partner when I went through it. But, oh, I'm so happy for you. That makes me feel good. You're in the best hands. Yes, I know. I totally forgot before getting on this call that you worked with her. I'm very excited. Just like you said, she responds to every email, like, within minutes.

I truly do feel like she's on my team. She's got my best interest at heart because I did consult with a few different IDF or fertility specialists. and didn't really get that same feeling from all the other doctors. I kind of just felt like I was just another patient, like just move them on through. Right. So with Dr. Amy, I'm so excited and nervous and don't know what to expect. So how did your egg retrieval go? I mean, it was as smooth as can be, I think.

It was interesting because I, and I don't want to make this all about me because this podcast is about you, but I don't have so many questions. Honestly, call me. I'll give you my number after this and we can chat. Where are you at in the process? Because, and I've shared with our listeners before, it takes a little bit. You know, you have to give yourself the injections for several weeks.

You have to, you know, monitor your body and do your blood work and get all the tests every couple of days. So where are you at? You've started the injections, I'm assuming. I'm not. You've not. Okay. I start Wednesday, this coming Wednesday. And then because we live in Colorado, we decided.

just to go be at her office in San Ramon for the whole time, which obviously is kind of interrupts life a little bit, but we just wanted to like be there so that we're in person with Dr. Amy, getting her care rather than trying to like translate communication between my OB and her. So we'll be there for the full time. I haven't started the medications. I'm a little nervous simply because I was doing some hormone treatment before and just like you know I also struggle with some mental health that I'm on medications

for and so there's just a little bit of like hesitation I'm like is it going to be really intense for me emotionally and mentally physically obviously but I think I'm I'm just like what's this going to do to my brain so I'm a little nervous about you know all that but I feel like I have a really great support system. I'm very fortunate to have support around me. You know, I have an amazing partner, and I go to therapy. And so I feel prepared, and it's just going to, yeah, I don't know, I'm very nervous and excited.

Yeah. When you're dealing with infertility, you know, it really is such a roller coaster, and it's like every time you start to go up and then you like kind of inevitably crash, and you just kind of get used to that cycle. unfortunately. So I'm very hopeful. I'm really optimistic. And I'm also trying to stay realistic because I know it's a journey. And, you know, obviously I hope for the best on the first try. But like I said, I feel in very good hands with Dr. Amy that if we have to go several rounds, she'll get us there. And, you know, we'll get our baby eventually. So you sound so ready.

I love that. I love that you have everything in place. You're trying to put in your mental health. not boundaries, but you're trying to figure out every facet that is going to affect you. I think that's awesome that you guys are going to get to stay there. And it's not interrupting. I feel like that's just going to be a really cool chapter for you and Dylan to be there being super intentional and putting positive energy into that process. So I'm very hopeful for you guys. Yeah.

And it sounds like you're in the right headspace, as Catherine said. It seems like you have your ducks in a row and just take it day by day. mean any sort of medication, especially when it comes to like hormones, you know, we as women kind of know the ups and the downs and just take it day by day. And luckily you'll be there so she can adjust and it sounds like you have a great support system. I'm telling you, you're going to love that area though. Like I'll send you some good recommendations. I'll send you some good areas to hike, some good dog parks. It'll just, it'll be your little home away from home. Yeah, thank you. Please send us all that because it'll be like weeks. And I'm like, I've never been there.

I have no idea what to expect. So send all the recommendations. Well, it sounds like everything in general, just the way you live your life is so adventurous, which I find incredible. I wish I could match that a little bit more. I'm always like, I wish I could be more gung-ho at times and just go with the flow and say yes to whatever. But do you have any advice for our listeners who might potentially be intimidated on any

sort of adventure, whether it's, you know, a journey with their fertility, whether it's like actual adventure out in the outdoors, what's some advice that you could give to our listeners? I'm learning, I'm like learning hardcore right now because I do think in the beginning when I was getting into some of the more extreme outdoor things, there was a lot of like the talk in the back of my head that was like, you have to be strong, you have to do this, push, push, push.

And lately I'm like, no, I don't have to do anything. What's most important when you're starting any type of adventure, whether you're repelling off a 90-foot building or going into an IVF journey is to make sure you have a safe environment. And that means, like, are you surrounded by people you trust and love and feel safe with emotionally and physically? If your body feels unsafe, if your mind feels unsafe, then I would say, like, take a step back, collect yourself. and it might not always be the right time or the right place to do it, but you can come back. And so that might sound a little like esoteric, but really and truly, I recently went repelling, which I've done a hundred times. And for some reason on that day, I didn't feel safe and emotionally.

Like, I was like, I have a lot of anxiety lately. I know I've done this a million times. I know how to be safe. I've taken safety training, and I still was just like, I got to walk home. I got to walk out. Like, I just don't feel safe. And that was probably the bravest thing I've actually ever done. And it was really worried that, like, Dylan and the group would think I was a wuss.

And Dylan was like, I'm so proud of you because advocating for yourself when you go into an adventure is the safest thing you can do. So I would just say, like, make sure you feel. emotionally and physically safe at all times in terms of like actually adventuring I would say like do your research know your surroundings it even like if you're going hiking honestly I think a lot of women underestimate bears and mountain lions and I'm not saying they're a huge threat but if you're in an area make sure you carry bear spray like there's just common sense so I think no matter what you're getting into, you should do your research. You should embark on everything in the safest way possible. Mm-hmm. Oh, wisdom. This right now. Adventure wisdom. I loved that.

Everything's dangerous. Don't do it. No, that sounded good and encouraging. Yeah, I don't, I hope it's, yeah, I hope it's not scary. I just, um, I have, like, lately I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety, which has been making, giving me pause for, like, really just events. And evaluating my surroundings before I go into it rather than just like leaping off the ledge because I want to be strong. Yeah. So that's where I'm coming. That's all worth hearing. So I think those are great recommendations for people to consider when they're doing that. I mean, realists, they're real things that you should be thinking about. And I didn't think about bears, mountain lions, or that you should be mentally prepared. So you need to be a bunch of stuff. I mean, it depends where you are. I,

you know, here it's a real issue for us. Um, another. recommendation just quickly, I would say, is join, like, a Facebook group for women. There's a great one called Women Who Hike, and then they have different chapters for, like, every state, pretty much. And there's thousands of women in these groups, and so you can find someone, you can ask for recommendations, find someone to go on a hike with, whatever, these groups are great. And then also, similar to She Lift, I run an organization called Tense Without Jens, and we host retreats for women, looking to build confidence in the backcountry. So we go backpacking, stand-up paddleboarding.

And it's also just a great way to, like, meet new women, try a new experience that's a little bit more challenging than, you know, your average hike. Who came up with that name because I'm obsessed? I know. Honestly, someone on Instagram, because we started it and I was like, we're hosting this women's backpacking trip. like what should we call it and someone was like tens without gents and you're like that's genius but you are you are didn't you work for 72 and sunny isn't that right yeah okay i remember that

because every time it's 72 and sunny i'm like i think sarah worked for that agency because i was in advertising your account exec right so as an art director oh an art director so i wouldn't put it past you to come up with tons without gents one of one of our producer says that she wants to go and i'm like Like, hell yeah, sign me up. Yeah, I want to go to do it. You guys honestly should. There's this great one here in Colorado. Catherine, you can hike from Aspen to Crested Bute.

Have you guys done that hike? No, but we were looking at property in Cresta Bute. I love Crestabute. Are you serious? I know you guys are always there. So I live close to Aspen, which as the crow flies, I don't know if you guys know that term, but it's like in the air, we're only 11 miles apart, which is. close my mind because to drive is about three hour drive because you have to go around

yeah totally so there is 11 miles that's crazy uh-huh so there i mean if people are listening to this and don't wait to it but the hiking trail is 11 miles so you can leave from aspen in the morning and get to crested view a few hours later oh wow so you could do it that is so cool That's pretty intense. Otherwise, so you can hike over, stay the night in Crested Butte, hike back, or vice versa. Or there are shuttle services, so you can hike one way and then hire a shuttle service to drive you back to the town you started from. So we do a backpacking trip. It's three nights.

So we extend it a little bit. And we hike like six miles the first day, camp in the woods, hike another three or four miles and then finish the deck, finish the trip. Wow. I want to do that. Yeah. We're all in. Sign us up. And it's great because it's like, it's like you're backpacking and you're in the rugged wilderness, but then you finish it. End up and ask you. Yeah. You get to get dressed up. Oh, God. Yeah. That's cool. That's incredible. Pack some good stuff in your backpack. It's really carrying high heels in your back. I know. I'm just thinking as you say like, oh, but then you can dress up and I'm like, what are we packing in these bags right now? And in Crested But the standards aren't as high. Yeah, what we end in Crested Buc. Then you can just take a sundress and some sandals and get, you know, to make upon.

Sounds beautiful. Sarah, where is one of your favorite places that you've ever traveled to? Oh, I mean, I think without a doubt, I would say the Dolomites in northern Italy is just the most magical region. it's so it's it's not if you're not familiar with italy it's not exactly what you would expect because it's very mountainy and just so beautiful so we've done some like biking and hiking and hiking up there and it looks like a Disney fairy talebook it's just the most incredible place and best food dolomites yeah put that on my list yeah I'm getting so many good info spots from everyone that we have on here. So I just need to make like a little notebook and

list them all out. One thing that I loved about one of your more recent Instagram post is you basically said, and you know, don't quote me, but the context was you said, life doesn't always go in a particular order. You know, I'm sure you had one expectation for going in, you know, maybe potentially doing the show or whatever it might be. And so we've obviously seen some of your past relationships play out on the screen, but it's also, credible to see you now so happy in such a solid loving relationship. Obviously, you know, wedding planning, I'm sure is going to be happening very soon if it hasn't already. So can you give our listeners any advice who might feel like they're on any sort of time frame in their

life? Yeah. What I meant by that is, you know, my girlfriends and I kind of have this joke my my core best group of friends from middle school it's like none of us are married and we're like are we the late bloomers like what's wrong with us and the answer is nothing you know like everyone goes at their own pace and it's it definitely took me a long time I think I had to put in a lot of self work in order to get to the relationship that I have and so I had to carve out time to do that and if that meant a couple extra years before, you know, getting engaged and that's what that meant. But also, like, Dylan and I, we know we're best friends. We know we want to do this life together. And so we started talking about having kids before we even started talking about

marriage. And I know everyone has a different opinion about marriage. But to us, we're like, we know we're going to be together. And marriage is sort of just like the four. normality. And so, you know, I think it's okay. I get a lot of questions on Instagram from people who are like, why baby before marriage? And it's just surprising to me that there's, you know, still so much belief that it has to be in order. Because I think, you know, we live in new times and you don't have to be as traditional as we used to be. Of course, if that's your value, then 100% that's fine. But also, if it's not, that's okay. So I think that's all I meant is like, there is no time frame.

We have people like Dr. Amy now who can freeze our eggs and, you know, you can do life at your own pace. So Naomi Campbell just had a baby, her first baby at 50. Naomi Campbell. Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah. I don't know if she even has a partner too. So do what you do.

Seriously, I love that you say that because I think, um, Even from being in this bachelor world, like, you know, you go on the show and the end goal is to find a partner, get engaged, do all the things. And that's incredible, you know, if that's your life path. And I think, especially with social media being so prevalent, you always hear people's comments and opinions of like, oh, well, you should be doing this first or you didn't do this, but you have to go back and do that before you can do XYZ. And it's like, you're just inundated with people's opinion so often that I think it's easy for people. to say things and see things a certain way. So I love that you say, you know, if that's not your path, if marriage first isn't your life path, if maybe kids are or something else is, like, that's okay. Everyone lives their own life, their own truth, their own way. And I think we all just need to embrace that and accept it more and talk about it more, which is thank you for coming on it and sharing that with us because I think it's really

important for everyone, but especially our young female listeners to hear to know, you know, just because one of your friends got engaged or got married and has a family and has this picture that you see doesn't necessarily make it right for you in that moment in time. And so to just embrace your own path and your own journey. I think that's great. 100%. And also, like, I would just say, like, it would be, it would have been great if I, you know, maybe was able to have kids a little younger before I lost all my eggs.

But, you know, at the same time, I'm super grateful for having the time that I did to go to Italy and have some of these life experiences. And so I truly do believe everything happens for a reason. And just to reiterate, like, people have different values. And so if one thing is important to you, then that's fine. And if it's not, that's also fine. I think some people just also take certain experiences or context away from them being people. And they're just talking about this context and not understanding, well, people that you're

talking to are people. And you have to put those together and have empathy or sympathy or support or encouragement or motivation together as the things. So not just like, oh, well, that should be X, Y, and Z. And on paper, that looks good to you. But it doesn't feel right. So we've obviously talked about your adventure, how you got engaged, your next journey. This next journey with the IVF will be like you said, one of the most important, life-changing, big ones. And we're so excited and hopeful for you. But beyond that, then, have you guys talked about any wedding plans? Do you have an idea of what you want it to look like?

Is it going to be in Colorado? Is it going to be destination? We've talked a little bit about it. And we're kind of all across the board, to be honest. Like, we're like, oh, you know, something small and in our own town would be great. And then we're like, heck, let's go to Mexico. You know, but all we do know is we want a long engagement. And I was just, I actually just shared this on my stories last night.

You know, there is a lot on our plate right now. We just bought a piece of property. We're trying to build a house. We're also going through IVF. And it's just a lot. And there's no reason to rush any of it. And I want to be able to give enough time to each one of these chapters. of life because I think they are they're going to be so impactful. We're going to remember them

for our whole lives. And so I don't really want to overlap them. I want each one to have its time and space and to be present for each chapter. So I'm here for a long engagement. I don't really care. Honestly, I love that. And you know, I mean, you said you guys are best friends. You know, you want to do this life together. And so if there's no rush, then do you and really soak in and enjoyed those chapters because life life goes by pretty dang fast yeah pretty dang fast next week I'll be like we hello

hey whatever you live in a moment yeah whatever is best for the two of you is all that matters at this point in time question has Dylan I ask a lot of people this just because I'm curious did Dylan ever watch the show

or has he gone back and like watched episodes of you and he's like who is this woman like what has He's seen any of the seasons that you were on? No. So remember last summer when they re-ran the biggest. Oh, yes. So we got to come on and do a little like, where are they now type Zoom with Chris.

And so Dylan was on that. And I'm like, how the heck do you get an appearance on this franchise and you've never watched my show? But no, he hasn't. And he's watched seasons with me now. Like, Becca, he watched your season with me. And, you know, he likes to have his little commentary from the other room when I'm watching. But he does not want to see my stuff. Like, he's like, I don't need to see you with another guy.

Whatever. It gets all kind of weird about it. So, you know, obviously sometimes I try and push stuff. I'm like, look at my ex-boyfriend. No, Sean, don't worry. Like, Robert Grandma was like, look at him. Oh, yeah. That's a good one.

Sorry. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and I didn't mean no offense to Sean. Oh, no. I know, of course. I know what you're talking about. I know what you mean. But I'm like, okay, maybe I shouldn't comment on Robert Grimm either.

Yeah, so I do kind of like try and push stuff at him. Everyone's selling, like, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. That's totally fair. I'm not trying to watch Emily season again either. Oh, yeah. She was such a great bachelor. it's just it's so interesting though too because you said earlier you feel ancient and and i've said

that even because you know obviously this is a bachelor focused podcast so when when i was with rachel and we were recapping the current seasons i'm like i feel like a grandma now compared to some of these these contestants like male or female it's like it's hard for you to relate and especially like once you're in it and then out of it it it's hard to like it kind of lose is it's luster or like the magic a little bit when you when you've like lived it you've been through everything you see the behind the scenes everything and so I get when you say it's it's there's this weird disconnect of watching it once you're off the show especially like because I'm four years removed now too so I totally understand the uh the difference in the

call us in five years oh man I don't know I don't know if the show is going to be wrong we're great grandmas then like the other day Katie shared our engagement on her stories, which was so nice, but I was like, you know, I'm way too old for you to know who I am. And so that was like really cool that now it's like I'm in this generation of like I get starstruck by the newer cast. And you know, but it's just crazy. Like I don't I don't know anyone from probably like, Becca, I don't think I've met anyone. from like your season or on and um it's just interesting i was looking back last night at photos of all the friends i've made through this franchise um from seasons before mine even and it's just like the way i describe it is literally it makes my heart ache with how deep some of these friendships are and you know we all get it when we go through the experience um because it is a once in a lifetime experience that no one else can really understand. And the friendships you form

are just so, so, so deep in such a quick time frame. And I'm just so grateful, even though I don't know the new people, I'm like, my older friends are great. You know, if I ever see some of these new people on the street, I'll be like, hi, I'm a fan. I don't know who I am. Who are you so close with either from Sean's season or from anyone that you met when you did Paradise? A lot of people actually like very I'm very close I talked to Leslie frequently Daniela from our season and probably gonna forget people so I feel bad but you know other seasons Paradise gosh Amanda Stanton Carly

and I were like this in Paradise Jade Tanner Ashley you know Ashley she's been texting with me about fertility and in my engagement which is really really sweet of hers Ashley a lot of people I'm super grateful to have all of them as friends yeah that's what I always say even if you don't find love in a partner from the show you still find it with your friends and that's really like that it makes it all worthwhile so you spend more time with the girls anyway yeah so true so true um okay Sarah before we let you go we have a game that we want to play but one more thing before we get into that I just want I want everyone to go and look at you and your incredible page, but also She Lift. So let us know, or I guess let all of our listeners know where they can find you. Yes. So I'm on Instagram. It's just my full name, Sarah Herron. And She Lift is She Lift Grams. And then I don't have an account for Tense Without Jens. But if you're looking to get involved with Tense Without Jens. Just visit it online. The URL is

tense without gents.com. All right. Awesome. Everyone check it out. I can't wait. I'm telling you. I'm signing up for Tess Without Jens. And I don't know if I'll if I'll be able to like, I'm not like super scrappy like outdoors camping, but but I can hang for a little bit. And I just to be with like great empowering strong women is like the ultimate goal. So I can't wait to check it out. That's the point. Yes. And it'll be fun to be with people like you. So with with just like the same like mindedness. So I cannot wait to check it out. Okay. So like I said, we always love to play games with our guests. So we're going to play our little own Bachelorette

party game with you. So Catherine, you want to explain it? Yeah. So when you get married, you really get to know someone on deeper level. So we're going to answer some questions and you have to tell us whether it'll be the bride, you, or the groom, Dylan. Okay. Okay. So who is more adventurous? Dylan. Who asked for the

first date? Me. Oh, where'd you guys go? Okay, so it was right after a she lived retreat and we went to the coffee shop. He asked to take me to lunch. We went to the coffee shop and my little sister was with me and so I made her sit at our table and the other side of the room and it was just sweet. And then I kissed him at the end of the day, which was probably like a little fast. But he was like, that was fast. And I was like, I come from the bachelor. We move. Get on board, baby.

who is less likely to ask for directions when you're lost Dylan he's a navigator who hogs the sheets me I like roll up like a burrito and Dylan like lays naked basically who is funnier that's a good question I would say Dylan's more

like unintentionally funny. I laugh with him. But at him. Who is more likely to say I'm sorry first? Dylan. Oh, that's good. That's a good quality. Who is more spontaneous? Dylan. Who is more on time? Me. I'm very prompt. Who brought up marriage first? Me. Yes. very early on. After the first kiss, the second day. That was the second day. You were manifesting. If this doesn't happen, we have to move on. No, you are you are manifesting early on and look at you now. Okay, last one. Who will cry first when you guys tie the knot? Me. Like when he proposed in my mind, like leading up to it, obviously, like I was like, I wonder if I'll cry when Dylan proposes. I don't think I will.

Like, you know, like, we're sentimental people, but I just don't think I'll cry. And then as soon as he started talking, I was like, I couldn't look at him. I was like, I can't make eye contact him. He's like, you have to. And then I just started like making this crazy hyena crying sound. Like couldn't breathe, you know? So, yeah, I'll definitely be the first cry. Well, I cannot wait to see.

takes the both of you. I mean, please stay in touch through IVF. And if you need anything or any questions, don't hesitate to reach out to me. But you have so much support behind you and we can't wait to see your next couple chapters in life. This is why I love doing the podcast. It's because I get to meet people that I, you know, haven't met who I haven't been on the same season with who just have so many incredible life experiences and memories and advice. And I mean, she's doing so much with this IVF, with probably planning a wedding, whatever that might happen, with She-Lift and Tense Without Jens and all that she's doing with buying property. It's like she has a million things going on.

So I'm just so happy we had her on today because I know she's probably leaving right now this very second to go on her road trip. No, she's really, she's always been very intelligent and she's carried herself always so well, even though she said that she doesn't have a ton of confidence. Well, I always got the impression. she knew what she was doing. Just phenomenal what she's able to do. And then now what she's able to do in other girls' lives.

I think that's just so cool to start something like that that empowers women and girls and teaches them that they are capable of doing a lot more. I think that'll change a lot of people's minds about themselves. And hopefully other people, just young girls, get to experience that because it changes your trajectory in life and how you handle things. so I'm excited for those girls. Yeah, yeah. She's, I mean, it sounds like she's just doing so many impactful things in young

girls' lives. And I think that's absolutely incredible. We need more people like Sarah here doing what she's doing. So thank you, Sarah and Catherine. Thank you again for joining me for another week. I always love hanging out with you. And to all of our listeners, we love having you guys tune in each and every week. So please keep writing to us and letting us know your thoughts.

You can find us at Bachelor Happy Hour. on Instagram and at Batch Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. And as always, if you never want to miss listening to us for all of our upcoming episodes, please subscribe to our podcast. You can do it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondry app, or wherever you are listening right now. Thanks, guys. Take care. Thanks, guys.

Bye. It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone and there is help out there. The Good Stuff podcast, season two, takes a deep look into One Tribe Founding. a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission. One Tribe, save my life twice.

Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff. Listen to the Good Stuff podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier.

Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime, I'm junkie, and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. This is an IHeart podcast.