Bachelor Happy Hour - Sean Lowe on Zach’s Upcoming Journey

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Sean Lowe makes his first appearance on “Bachelor Happy Hour” this week, and, as expected, the man does not disappoint! In his conversation with Becca and Michelle, Sean gives us an inside scoop o...n his friendship with Zach and the advice he gave him going into his season of “The Bachelor.” Sean also talks about his own experience as the Bachelor and how he used that to help prepare Zach for his journey to come. Plus, Becca and Michelle discuss the ever-changing impact of social media on the leads, and Sean reveals what life at home is like with Catherine and their three beautiful children.   Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:39 What's up? Happy Hour listeners. I'm Becca Kuprin. And I am Michelle Young. And we're excited to be back with you once again this week for the first time ever. We have a new guest who will be joining Happy Hour. And that is Mr. Sean Lowe, one of our favorites. So we can't wait to have him on very shortly.
Starting point is 00:01:58 Yes. We are so excited. And even though he is this new guest, he's definitely not new to Bachelor Nation. He's been around for quite some time. And he actually is going to make some type of appearance in his exact season coming forward. And I have so many questions for this man just because I feel like there's so many different things that are going on. There's so many different factors when you're like stepping into the lead role. And so I'm really curious to kind of hear the advice that he gives to Zach.
Starting point is 00:02:36 And Becca, you and I were kind of just talking about this of how does somebody come in, being in Bachelor world, he's gone through it. He's been a lead. He had a very successful relationship. But to come in and give advice in now a new world with social media. the leads having to navigate that social media platform and that's something that's in the back of your head as you're filming and so i'm curious to see like the perspective he's going to bring yeah oh definitely and he for all of our listeners out there sean was bachelor in 2013 um i was fresh out of college i remember i just moved back home watching his season with my mom my mom
Starting point is 00:03:24 like loved him and so he it was i would say a different era of the Bachelor franchise as a whole, you know, like you said, social media. I mean, Facebook was around. Instagram was kind of just starting, but it was a completely different ballgame at that time. And I think every lead goes into their season different. Obviously, Zach's going into his season, which is coming out next week, by the way, which is crazy to think in a completely different mindset that I'm sure either one of us
Starting point is 00:03:54 felt when we were stepping into that role. So, yeah, I'm very curious. to see. I'm glad that Sean was there to be a sounding board to offer advice. I'm sure he went in with the intention of like wanting Zach to find love and to find a relationship that he can build on outside of the show. I would be interested to see if he had social media and that aspect in the back of his mind. When he went into his season, I can imagine he probably didn't. So it's totally different. But he has lived in this world now for almost a, well, God, now it is a decade. Damn. So, yeah, we definitely have a lot to pick his brain on.
Starting point is 00:04:33 I'm excited to see Sean. It's been a few seasons, I think, since we've seen him make an appearance on somebody's season, I guess. So with that, I mean, we can just keep talking and speculating and spewing. But I think we should just bring him on and get into this, right, Michelle? I'm excited. I'm excited. Let's bring him on. Bring on the man.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Well, welcome to Happy Hour, Sean. Michelle and I were just saying, I mean, you've been in this franchise for a hot second, but this is your first official appearance on Happy Hour. Yeah. So why are you bringing the old man out of retirement? What's going on here? We didn't bring up. The franchise brought you back out.
Starting point is 00:05:20 We heard you make a little guest appearance this season. Yeah, I spent some time with Zach. I love that guy. Yeah. We're going to get into. to all of that. I do have to say, though, just speaking of like time frames and everything, your season aired in, and
Starting point is 00:05:35 correct if I'm wrong, 2013, right? 10 years ago. How do you not age? You literally look the same. Hey, thank you. What is the skincare routine? How can I get it? I'm a words of affirmation person, so keep this coming. I'm over here laughing, Sean, because this
Starting point is 00:05:53 girl is brown-nosing you. She literally before you got on, Becca goes, I just graduated college when your season came on. I was still in college, Sean. Oh, college sounds good. I mean, I hear from people all the time who were like, oh, my mom loves you. I was faithful and she would let me, you know, watch the bachelor with her. So college is totally what she said. Sean, my mom does love you. I think I might have told you this when I first met you and Catherine a couple years ago, but she fell in love with you. And this is a throwback to
Starting point is 00:06:28 I think it was Emily's season when you brought her to your hometown. And you did the whole setup where you were like, I still live with my parents. I don't do my laundry. My room's a mess. I'm waiting for my mom to clean it. And then at the end of the day, you're like, ha-ha, jokes on you. I'm actually like a functioning adult. And my mom, that's when she fell in love.
Starting point is 00:06:47 She's like, this guy is great. He needs to be the bachelor. So that was the moment that you hooked Mama Jill. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad to hear that. Over the years, that's probably the number one moment that people point out like we love it it was hilarious it was so good it was so good what i would say one of the iconic moments of the franchise how many people actually thought you still don't do like that you
Starting point is 00:07:09 actually didn't do your laundry did you get so many messages about that uh well i mean if you watch the episode it's pretty clear like it's a joke it's a joke they put like stuffed animals all over the room to make it look like i was extra childish yeah it was to the extreme i think most people understood. It was so good. Well, let's just catch up. How has life been? How is everything with Catherine and the cute kiddos? Catherine and I are taking a break. I thought I would announce it here on your podcast first. Oh my God. The headlines are going to go wild after this. This man knows what he's doing. Life could not be any better. We, I mean, we just, we have a beautiful life. We're so incredibly grateful and thankful.
Starting point is 00:07:54 We've got three kids who drive me absolutely up the walls, but we love them anyway, and they're healthy and happy, and Catherine and I, it's funny, like, not to sound too cliche, but 10 years ago when we're shooting in The Bachelor, we were having these conversations like, what does the future look like? And we start talking about how we want to have a family and how we just want to be with our best friend and at the end of a long day, be on the couch and our sweatpants and watch a movie. Well, 10 years later, we're living our dream. so I'm super great. I love that. Such a cute fan. How old are the kids now? Six, four, and three.
Starting point is 00:08:32 So we wasted full time and we are currently in the thick of it. Oh, yeah. You have your hands full. Okay. So I'm curious then. Those are like pivotal ages for each of them. That's wild. But what is your number one pet peeve that your kids do?
Starting point is 00:08:52 You don't have to go down the line of which kid, just in general. I got a laundry list of... Hey. He's like, I'm glad you asked. Listen, off the top of my head, it drives me nuts when they'll yell like, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, and I'm not even in the same room. I'm like upstairs somewhere and I, they just, Daddy, like they expect me to come find them. Like, no, come find me.
Starting point is 00:09:14 Just stop shouting Daddy. That's probably the first one that comes to mind. But, you know, they do a lot of things that irritate Catherine and I. but they also have some good qualities too. Yeah. Well, I hate to break it to you, but they never grow out of that face. I still do that to my mom when I'm home. Mom, mom.
Starting point is 00:09:33 And I do the thing too. I don't know if your kids do this where I try to incentivize her like, mom, if you come to me and bring me a bowl of popcorn, I'll give you a kiss and a hug or something like that that I used to pull. I wish my kids would do that. I'd be more likely to do it. You have to start bargaining with them. Like, I'll come to you if you give me a hug. I did.
Starting point is 00:09:50 This morning I had milk that my daughter wanted. wanted. And I'm like, just give me a kiss. I'll give you the milk. And she refused to give me a kiss. I'm not giving you the milk. And then after like 20 minutes of negotiating, she finally gave me the kiss and then she got milk. Wow. Sweet when they want to. Oh, precious. So how were your holidays? Did you do anything fun with them? Do you have any special traditions that you do as your family? Yeah, the holidays were great. Christmas, my whole extended family. They're all here in the Dallas area. They all came to our house. We had a full house. Couldn't have been better just hanging out. We did karaoke. So Catherine loves to incorporate some of her Filipino
Starting point is 00:10:27 traditions. Filipinos love karaoke. And so this year we got a karaoke machine into our house and the whole family did that. That was a blast. In terms of traditions, my dad started one years ago that Catherine absolutely loves. He calls it jammy cocoa Christmas. And that is when you put your pajamas on and then you drive the neighborhood looking at Christmas lights, listening to Christmas music. And so we did that as a family and that was a great time too. I love that. I'm stealing that Christmas. Straight out of a Christmas movie. My dad is a trade market.
Starting point is 00:10:58 That's perfect. Oh my gosh. She's going to be like the tour guide one year. Like picking up people would be like, come on, Jamie Coco Christmas. Hop in. If you knew my dad, you would know he would love that. That's absolutely amazing. So you have the holidays and roll into New Year's
Starting point is 00:11:14 and you think about everything that's going on. You said that you and Catherine used to like talk about the moments like this, that you're literally living out day by day. Yep. Do you have any more plans in the future, like potentially more kids? Can we see a baby low number four? You already got your hands full.
Starting point is 00:11:38 I had a dollar for every time I've been asked that. I think originally our plan was to have more than three. And then we had three and we realized like, holy crap, this is a lot. of work. So we might be done. We talk about it occasionally. We're really happy with the way our family looks and feels right now. Like our two boys and our girl being the youngest, everyone is just, we're in a really good groove. So I don't think that we want to go back to diapers. We just got Mia out of diapers. And we're happy with three. So I think we might be settled here. Yeah. Well, whatever you decide, I mean, you have just the cutest family,
Starting point is 00:12:20 now and speaking about family so you and katherine have been married almost nine years right it was about a year after the show where you well you actually had the wedding on tv i forgot about that part what and i'm sure you could ask this all the time but what is like one of your secrets or one or two bits of advice that you would say makes a healthy marriage oh man so number one and this is really the easiest it's the hardest and it's the easiest but it's commit. You have to commit no matter what. No matter what your feelings tell you, your feelings are going to lie to you in case you didn't know that. There's a news flash. Like there are going to be days where Catherine does not feel like loving me and vice versa. But we have together committed to
Starting point is 00:13:05 make it work no matter what. And I think when you commit what you find over time is that your relationship gets stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. And the foundation is getting firmer and firmer and firmer. And then when you couple that with both of us like the foundation of our lives is our faith. So with our faith and then commitment, it's really that simple. And like I said, it can also be the hardest thing
Starting point is 00:13:27 because there are days where it's really difficult and we still argue and we still fight and we still have all the same issues that any couple has, but we just know like in the worst of it, we're still going to be together. At the end of the day, I still love her madly.
Starting point is 00:13:41 I'm not going anywhere no matter what. She knows that. I know that. So I tell people all the time, like a healthy, good marriage starts with commitment. That's so true, though. And that's, I love the fact that you added in. It's simple because it's one word, but it's also so difficult on those days with emotions.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And thinking with your head when your heart is pissed off, that's hard. And to expand on it, like the world that we currently live in, like just having a little bit of notoriety, having million followers or whatever the case may be, I think it's, it's really easy to fool yourself that the grass is greener or I've got all these other options, you know, oh, plenty of guys would love to be with me or girls would love to be with me, whatever. Like, it's just the grass is not greener. You'll find so much fulfillment in committing to the person that you vowed to love for the rest of your life. And so that's, that's my message. Yeah. If you say you're going to love them forever, love them forever.
Starting point is 00:14:41 It is so interesting as kind of like you're talking around your, piece of advice. And as a lead, you were a lead 10 years ago. And like you said, the world is so different now. And being a lead in Basternation with the drastic polls of social media, that's also different. How do you feel like you're able to kind of come into Zach's season and really like deliver advice to him with that difference, but also? also you have, you know, you have a successful relationship, but it was also in a different time period, you know? I didn't mean to say time period era. I feel like that made you sound so old. Do you get, yeah, but do you get what? Yeah, but do you get kind of like asking? It was
Starting point is 00:15:30 10 years ago, you too. He was great, y'all. He looks great. But, but yeah, there's just such different pressures now to be a lead. Well, I know what you mean. And like, they, they invited me on, But I went into it not knowing who Zach is as a man. And I think I'm a pretty good read of character. And I think we have had a lot of leads in the past where you can just tell within the first few minutes of meeting them. Like, this guy is really not serious. He might make it for entertaining TV. Who knows.
Starting point is 00:16:04 But the chances of him actually getting engaged and ultimately getting married or slim to none, right? Within the first few minutes of meeting, Zach, I could just. tell he's a different guy. Like he is, um, he's a good guy, but I could also tell that he was completely sincere. And he was vulnerable enough to just ask me, uh, like real questions. Like, how did you handle this? Uh, what did you do in this situation? Um, and I knew it wasn't for the cameras. And in fact, he's called me post show just to, um, to check in with me. And, you know, um, so I say all that to say is like, I, I knew when I was giving Zach advice, he would take it to heart. And I have the utmost confidence that he's going to be a great bachelor. Now,
Starting point is 00:16:49 who knows what that means in terms of ratings? But I knew that he would take my advice. And so I think it's general advice. I don't know, the social media aspect probably, you know, he might have to deal with some stuff that I didn't. I don't know. 10 years ago, there was social media, by the way, Michelle. Yeah, I know that there was social media. It was just, no, I get what you're saying. It was just more of like the fact as okay so when you're a lead you come off from just being a contestant so you just went through like that massive learning curve of being in the public eye being vulnerable and then so many people have words for you of like how you handled yourself and so then you roll over into being a lead and you can be you know genuine authentic um but it's so hard
Starting point is 00:17:33 sometimes to not feel robotic at times because you're just in the back of your head there's always like you know that so many people are going to have an issue with something like how will this be perceived how is going to say about me in a certain situation yeah it can completely engulf you and it Clayton was very open about that you know it just you tense up on and you're talking about on the social media side like the comments that you're going to read and things like that just in the back of your head of you went through you kind of went through a beating whether you were loved or not loved you you went through all these different comments of whether it's in the comment section,
Starting point is 00:18:11 whether it's on Reddit, someone always has an issue with what you're doing and that's really hard to then go into a lead and sometimes have it in the back of your head and not have that in the front of your head. Do you know what I'm saying? That can definitely be challenging. And back in my day,
Starting point is 00:18:28 back in the olden days, like Twitter was the biggest thing, right? Back when I was a boy. And I remember having some of those thoughts. I think for me, the biggest thing personally was like, I don't want to do or say anything that's going to embarrass my family or put me in a bad position when this is all over because I had no way to know like life would look like it does all these years later.
Starting point is 00:18:51 I thought I'd go back and work a normal job and do those things. So I didn't want to do anything that would put any of that in peril. And probably like the comments on Twitter was secondary. But I still had those thoughts too. But I think, you know, and you guys know, after a week or two of filming, it's almost like you forget about the cameras. Some of that stuff drowns out. And then I was able just to kind of open up.
Starting point is 00:19:13 I was probably a little bit more free in my, my expressions and my thoughts and things like that. And I really didn't think about it as much. But with that being said, everybody's different. That's just kind of how I handled it. Yeah. Well, and Sean, to play, like, I can,
Starting point is 00:19:34 I feel like I'm kind of on the fence of like, I'm sure what you experience. Michelle, what you experienced, like when I was lead, which was 2017, 2018, it was the time where like social media, I guess, was around. But like this whole world of influencing hadn't really fully blown up yet. It came after that. And so like, yeah, people would do like small ads here and there, but it wasn't like the world that it is now. So like for my personal experience when I went in on R.A season of The Bachelor, you know, like I had no idea what I was getting into. I had no idea what social media would even be.
Starting point is 00:20:08 because I had 438 followers. Like it was like my friends from high school, from college, and like that was it. I didn't like I wasn't exposed to like the world it is today. And so right after that, when I went into The Bachelor, I wasn't really thinking about social media in the back of my head. Like my focus was like, I want to find a partner that's good for me that will fit into my life with my family and vice versa. It wasn't until coming out where things really blew up where that's when I realized like, oh, wow, this is totally different ballgame. And this is something that I didn't even think to think about when I was in that position. And so, I mean, and you both experienced being leads.
Starting point is 00:20:47 And you know how you kind of have to compartmentalize your relationships with every contestant? I feel like that's what you have to do with this process in general. Like you have your like your chapters of this. Like you go through being the lead and that you film for a couple months and you're in the mindset of like finding love and really being so expressive with your feelings and your emotions. and then you come out of it and then you go through this whirlwind of press and then your show air
Starting point is 00:21:13 so it's like all these different pieces of it that Zach hasn't fully experienced a lot of it yet so Sean I'm sure like when you went in it was probably like we keep saying the show's going back to the basics like it probably you and I would love to like pick your brain on this but when you went in
Starting point is 00:21:28 to meet with Zach was it focused more on that love like finding the right partner for you for your life and vice versa um so when I met with Zach it was it was more of just like, hey, this is about to be crazy. Like you think you're prepared, but you really don't know. You don't know what you're walking into. And it will be so surreal and it's going to be nuts.
Starting point is 00:21:48 And then the hardest part will probably be after the camera stop rolling. And like you said, the press is about to start. And he's just, it's a whirlwind, right? And so I wanted to really just prepare him mentally for all of that. And I also wanted to be realistic with him. Like, hey, I know you're filming a TV show and the goal is to hopefully find love. But I also wanted to tell him like, it's okay if that didn't happen like there's a chance you could meet 25 wonderful women but
Starting point is 00:22:13 one of them might not be a match for you and that's okay to walk away from all this and say hey I gave it a try I had a great experience once in a lifetime but you know it didn't work out for me but I just wanted Zach to know like don't don't make this harder than it really needs to be because it is if you can just relax and have fun with it it's an amazing opportunity to travel the world and do things that you would never do otherwise like it's so much fun. So just enjoy every moment of it and relax. You know, don't worry about all the other crap. Truly. Truly. Yeah. Best advice right there. Couldn't have said it better myself. Don't. I was, I love that you said, don't worry about all the other crap. I'm actually reading a
Starting point is 00:22:55 book where like at one part, this woman is so caught up and like finding the right job and like figuring herself out in life. And she's like putting so much pressure on what other people are thinking of her. And basically the conclusion is like, no one effing cares. Like, people want you to succeed and be happy in whatever way, shape, or form that is. And I was like, this is a great bit of advice that I think everyone could use at any point in their life. So when you went into meet with him, what did he, what did Zach seem most nervous about? Like, is there any really great questions he asked you that you could kind of guide him on? You know, he was, if I had to sum it up, he was probably more nervous and anxious.
Starting point is 00:23:38 which most normal people would be not knowing what's in store for you over the course of three. And I, you know, I'm not really there to give advice. I've done that for so many. How many times have they brought the old guy out of retirement to give advice to these new bachelors? Like I just wanted to record, you're not even old at all. No, you're really not. No, I'm not. Michelle makes us all feel old.
Starting point is 00:24:05 I get it. No, no. You know, more than anything, I wasn't there to give advice. I just wanted him to know, like, hey, you've got a buddy here. If you need me, reach out. And it was kind of cool. But we did FaceTime a couple times throughout the season. Just because I wanted to make sure he was doing well mentally, it can definitely take a toll on you,
Starting point is 00:24:24 especially when you're the lead. You really don't have friends. You know, when you're one of 25 guys on the Bachelorette, you can kind of make friends. And you can talk to them when you're not filming and hang out. You really don't have that luxury as a lead outside of some of the producers around. you. So I just wanted him to know, like, hey, very few people have gone through this, but I have. So if you need me, I'm here for you. I really love the way that you kind of have broken down how you and Zach have built a relationship throughout him being announced to now getting ready
Starting point is 00:24:56 for him to air on on the show. And with all of that, you haven't, you've been in Batchezer Nation. and for like those who you know follow you on social media might keep up with everything but you aren't always around and now recently you've come back would you say that you came back because like does a part of Zach remind you of yourself well the truth is that I'm desperately clinging to my 15 minutes of fame and I saw my so that's where it came from it's honestly as simple as I got to know Zach. I really, really like Zach. Like, we will be friends.
Starting point is 00:25:38 And listen, this first episode, they're going to show some absolutely ridiculous stuff with me and Zach. I said, I will do this, but I don't want to do the same old, same old, sit down, give advice. The guy's not really listening. I said, if I'm going to do it, let's try to make it funny. So we put ourselves in some really funny situations. I don't know how it's going to perceive. I'm so intrigued. I know.
Starting point is 00:26:02 It seems like a young. like a young grasshopper situation karate kid you're training him in i'm just like wax on wax off washing the car with sack yeah and the sad thing is i'm mr miagi that that's but like that's what's great i can already picture like you being in these situations where you're training him how to like navigate like bachelor boot camp almost well it's probably good for him to like loosen up and feel more comfortable in this role. And, you know, yes, he's used to the cameras around. He filmed on Gabby and Rachel's season. But this is the first time where it's like the focus is solely on him. So I'm sure this helped in a way. I mean, damn, I wish I had something. I mean, I did have the girls like the previous bad shards come see me. But it's always nice to help loosen you up a little bit. And so yeah, we went in. We did some really goofy stuff. I think he'll show his personality. I think people are going to him really quickly. We did see, uh, some shower scenes of you two in the promo. So I told you. We do see really ridiculous. Way to hook the viewers. I want to ask you then about your time as The Bachelor, too.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And again, everyone experiences everything so differently. What were some of your biggest fears? And on the flip side, like, what were you most excited about for that first night? Oh, man. Fears, fears. I really don't think I had any fears. Like, I was so excited just for the experience, right? And I think part of that excitement is not knowing what's around the corner.
Starting point is 00:27:34 So every limo that pulls up, I had no idea who was walking out if they would be a potential match or not. I didn't know that this cute, bubbly little Filipino girl was going to come out and take my heart. But yeah, I really didn't have any fear. And I think part of that is because I'd gone through three months of being on The Bachelorette. And I got a feel for how things work. And, you know, I really enjoyed my time on it. I had a lot of fun, made friends with the producers.
Starting point is 00:28:01 And so going into The Bachelor, I was more just kind of stoked about it, for lack of a better word, than anything else. And so I was really, really excited. And then as far as things I was looking forward to, just, you know, traveling and having these experiences that the normal person doesn't get to have, right? Yeah. Like every little date you go on is not something that, you know, Joe Schmo gets to do. And so the idea of traveling and doing these amazing things all over. around the globe was so exciting to me. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:28:31 I love that. That's great. Do you have, I'm curious, do you have a favorite, or do you have a specific entrance from when you were a lead that you recall, aside from Catherine, but whether it's like funny or something weird, which one comes out from your night one when you were the lead? So there's two that come to mind immediately. One was a girl named Robin, who Catherine is still very good friends with. she tried to do like a back hand spring in her dress and she fell on her head um and i felt i felt
Starting point is 00:29:02 embarrassed for her so i rushed over to try to pick her up so i that was not the entrance she wanted to make please tell me you kept her longer than night one yes yes she's dropping it's great and actually now i'm friends with her husband so it all okay that's amazing she's going to be so pissed at you for bringing that out she's like we let that die we buried it and now everybody's talking about it again. Wait, please tell me she's done another backhand spring, like with you and Catherine at some point. No, we need to ask her to.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Oh, man. She's going to be able to land that dismount. I want to see it, though. Yeah. And then the second one that comes to mind, like 50 shades of gray was the biggest book at the time. And so one of the girls came up. She was like holding a tie and she made a 50 shades of gray reference.
Starting point is 00:29:44 And like, if you know me, that's just, that's not really going to hook me, right? I'm not that guy. And so, like, that was the first moment of me thinking, okay, this is going to be a mixed bag. Like, it's not just these girls that are well suited for me. Yeah. You're like, what did I sign up for? Exactly. Did you, I know that
Starting point is 00:30:03 Catherine had, she wrote you notes throughout the season, like whether it's post-stits or postcards. Do you still have all of those? I still have a lot of them. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. They're very meaningful to me. I'm sure. Yeah. I was like, if you got rid of those, man, get out here. She wrote me,
Starting point is 00:30:19 and this is really tragic. She wrote me this long note right before I proposed to her. And so Chris Harrison walks out, he gives me this note. And at the time, I thought, oh my goodness, this is like a dear John letter where she's leaving me here and she's not going to show up, you know, as I'm about to propose. And it was just a note about how she wanted to live the rest of her life with me and how she wanted to create a family with me.
Starting point is 00:30:42 And it was very, very special. And so I've always kept that in my Bible, right? And just recently, someone broke into my truck, stole my Bible. you're kidding hey that's going to be karma coming back to them though you're kidding i'm so bummed wait this needs to get to that person make it right deliver the bible back i'm trying i'm trying to get it back also just the fact that like first of all your truck got broken into and that's what they took i know it was in i had a bag in my truck and they just snatched the bag and dang sometimes people are the worst oh oh my gosh well i hope they feel terrible once they read this letter and the buy
Starting point is 00:31:21 hopefully they read it all hopefully they read the bible and change it their life all they got to do is put it on your doorstep just leave the letter like you don't even have to come forward but but redeliver the letter yeah what are the odds the thief listens to a bachelor podcast yeah there's definitely slim pickens but um if anyone knows anyone like tv though dang you know that's a bummer well at least you still have some of the other ones and i'm pretty sure the show didn't she like it had her words like when you were reading that right so it's like you still have some part of it hopefully oh yeah yeah yeah yeah trying to find the silver lining here for you seriously so we've talked a little bit about your conversations with Zach um but there's a lot of contestants that are stepping out of the limo for the first time um what is any advice that any advice if they're listening that you could give to contestants on this season of what they have to look forward to and anyone who potentially wants to be a contestant in the future on seasons
Starting point is 00:32:26 that aren't even around yet. Okay. Well, first thing that comes to mind, don't take yourself too seriously. Because at its core, it is a very silly show, right? Like, it's absolutely ridiculous. I think the people that go into it, and there were one or two women on my season that kind of had this thought, like, Sean is going to be my husband. Like, night one, like, they're just, I'm here to fall in love. Sean's going to be my husband. Those people are a little crazy, right? Like, just be a normal person that's going to go into it and think, like, this is just going
Starting point is 00:33:00 to be a great experience. No matter what happens, good or bad, it's going to be a great experience for me. And I'm not going to take myself too seriously because at its core, it's a silly show. And if I find love, even better. So that's my biggest piece of advice. Like, don't take yourself seriously. I mean we need to just like make an advice thing for everyone coming on the show and be like just read this here's a list from all the past leads of things that you shouldn't should not do do okay wait I have a super curious question that just popped in my head yep for the female leaves for the bacheloretts there was like this um what wait what do you call it like this by what was it a bachelor's
Starting point is 00:33:45 We're talking about this again. All right. But I'm curious, though, is all the bacheloretts, like, we're in a group chat, but there is this Bachelor of Bible of advice. Was there, like, has there been anything like that with the bachelors, like, with the men? Like, do you guys put each other in group chats where you, like, include everybody? Is there, like, a passing of the torch? Is there, like, any, like, top secret stuff you're not supposed to share that you can share
Starting point is 00:34:13 with us? No. Honestly, not to my knowledge. There was never a Bachelor Bible. There's never been a group text or if there has. I was left out of it. Dang. I was kind of flying blind.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I had never even met Ben Flannick, who was the Bachelor before me, and I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. I wish that I had some guidance that might have helped a little bit. Interesting. But yeah, I don't think the Bachelors have done, it sounds like a near as good a job as the Bacheloretts have done in that regard. you know the difference between men and women i i also think a lot of it started as i didn't as i didn't read it well i tried sending it to someone and i just didn't make it you know
Starting point is 00:34:55 no we totally but um i don't i was going to say something i don't remember what else where i was going with that um but all right okay sean it has been so much fun having you here we're actually very excited to see your appearance and whatever silliness you have to bring for this season of The Bachelor. Hopefully, like we said, it helps Zach loosen up a little bit, just get his bearings. But yeah, we can't wait to see what goes down. Do you know what happens in the end? Do you know any teasers or spoilers? I do. I'm not going to spoil it, but I know what happens. Okay. I have no idea. We're going to blind this season. So. Okay. Well, I'll be the ABC promoter guy. It's going to be great. Tune in. Watch it. Yeah. Again, everyone in premieres next week,
Starting point is 00:35:42 which is crazy to say already. So, yeah, we'll see what that first episode has to hold. Now, Sean, we're going to get into the last little bits of this podcast. And every week we started this new thing where we like to share resources and just keep our listeners informed about social issues. And so, Michelle, would you like to kick it off this week? Yeah, absolutely. I read an article like two weeks ago that came across my page. And it was interesting because it was titled Deconstructing Karen.
Starting point is 00:36:16 And it's really interesting. I actually just pulled it up here because I wanted to point out to something that was included in it. So like it's like an Apple iTunes documentary. So I have an account, but if you don't, you do have to pay like 99 cents or something like that. So it's not like a free resource. but it's definitely worth it and it talks about just kind of really
Starting point is 00:36:45 for white women to start deconstructing racism and starting the journey to become anti-racist and getting real about it and how to become an ally and those different things and it is like
Starting point is 00:37:01 touch is not the correct word it definitely is for somebody who is more open to bettering themselves for sure. And it really does challenge that. It reminded me a lot of what is that book called? I'm blanking that I gave a wreck for. White fragility. Very similar, but from a woman's perspective. And so, yeah, I think it's an interesting read. It's an edgier read or listening you can listen to. And I'll link both of them. I'll link the article. And then I'll also link the docu series that's on Apple iTunes that you can that you can get but yeah I really like
Starting point is 00:37:47 it and it really touches on the whole you know that person that you picture with Karen and really holding yourself accountable and we know what Karen means um being and I know after people hear this people named Karen will probably come for you like I've seen that as much media so it's nothing against actually Karen no it's the con yeah and it's not against, this is only for Cairns, no, you know, just kind of with that words, it's all about like syntax and words have meaning and all that stuff
Starting point is 00:38:17 right. And being a Karen, there are very nice people who are named Caren, but being a Karen means just somebody who's not lifting others up. And it really combats that. So deconstructing Karen. All right. Well, thank you, Michelle.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Yeah, please. Sean, I'll just share mine and then we'll let you wrap with yours. But I, so I have two like one is just kind of one that fell into my lap that's like probably not the best resource to share but there is a god i don't even want to like say what this is there's a show on netflix that i think is new it's called partner track and um it's not great but now i'm in it so it's like i might as well just finish it but um i think it's like within episode five or six um there's a part and it's basically um about this law firm in new york city and there's
Starting point is 00:39:08 two of the actors in it. One is black, one is white. They have this confrontation in a room where the white man says something like, well, you like are on track to become partner because you're black and the black character is also gay. And so he's like, you have these two things under your belt. They're not going to fire you. You basically have job security. So it goes into this whole discussion of the black man. And I don't remember their names again. Like the show's not great. But it is a very good scene to learn from. That's why I'm referencing it is the black man is. like you like that is that to its core like it has racist undertones and he goes on to explain like why that thought mentality especially like in this very white dominated workforce is
Starting point is 00:39:50 is hindering other employees and so um i would i would just say maybe check out like episode five of this show um and then the actual resource that i want to share is it's Michelle we've talked about this podcast before the still processing podcast I think it's the newest episode And I think, let me look at my notes, but I think the episode is called America Has a Problem. And the host basically go into, they talk about cancel culture without calling it, like cancel culture. But they focus this episode in particular focuses on Kanye West, aka Yay. And I mean, if anyone is living under a rock to like briefly summarize things kind of got off the deep end and he had very terrible remarks that were racist, anti-Semitic, massage. tones with his tweets, with things he's just put out there. That's like a whole other deep dive
Starting point is 00:40:45 that you can listen to in this podcast, but it talks about like, you know, how long are we going to give people like him a pass? Like, how long do we still listen to the music or celebrate the music even though we don't agree with the person or the artist? Basically, it's kind of like everyone has to come to that decision on their own. But it's a very great episode. It goes into kind of like the history of Kanye West. I don't know why I cannot talk today. The history of Kanye West and like his growth as an artist, but now why they're choosing to step away from his music and kind of celebrating him as a as this artist. So that was a really great listen. And it kind of reminded me and I haven't seen this movie, but the Elvis movie did come out recently. And I had,
Starting point is 00:41:33 I don't really know much about Elvis. But I guess there's similar things within like the way. Elvis created his music and he stole from black artists back in the day. There's this whole thing. So give that a listen. It's called Sill Processing and the title of that podcast episode is America has a problem. So those are mine. And now, Sean, if you want to take it away and hear your resource. I will keep mine short and sweet. And maybe you guys have heard about this book. No surprise. I'm quoting it. It's called the Bible. And Genesis 3 says we're all creating God's image. And then the person that I would probably listen to the most would be Jesus. And in Mark 12, he says, love your God with all your heart. And he follows that by saying, love your neighbor as yourself.
Starting point is 00:42:18 These are the greatest commandments. If everyone would listen to those words, take them to heart, realize that we were all creating God's image and we should all love each other. The world would be a much better place. So if you have not checked that out, please do. I'm quoting Mark 12, 30 and 31, by the way, if you want to look into it. All right. Thank you. And forever. if anyone who stole this Bible is listening, please deliver that back. Yeah, bring my Bible back. Seriously. I can't get it all the memory.
Starting point is 00:42:46 All right, Sean, well, we can let you go. But before we do that, this is the, I would say one of the most fun parts of the podcast. Every guest gets to share their rose and their thorn. So with everything that you have going on in your life right now, what is your rose, like your best, happiest favorite moment? And then on the flip side, like maybe your messiest, most awkward, thorn. Oh, man. Let's see. I think the best is pretty easy and I hope this doesn't sound too cliche. I am married to the most amazing wife in the world. Every day when my kids come home from school, they bust through the door, they yell daddy, they run to me, they can't wait
Starting point is 00:43:22 to hug me. Like it is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am so thankful and grateful for every day I get with my family. So that would have to be my rose. My thorn, what's my thorn, babe. She's over here on the side listening. That your Bible was stolen. The Bible, that was a big thorn. I don't know. My thorn at the current moment, we're working on training our great dog, Gus. We have a bullmaster who's still very much a puppy. Papa? Well, I don't want to get two. My grandfather passed away on Monday, Sunday.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. She was. the most amazing man i've ever met uh he was 97 he was uh he was ready to go but he had an amazing life um so there you go either my pup puppy training or my grandfather who passed which one's more of a yeah well prayers and thoughts out to you and your family um you got to it sounds like you have another great angel above you oh yeah there's no question where he is well sean thank you for joining us We loved having you. I can't believe again that this is your first time on Happy Hour, but please come back any time.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Also bring Catherine, we love having her on. Give her a big hug from me. She's going to go back her on right now. I know I can hear her. I'm like, come over here. Come over here. Come. But here she is. What do you have to say?
Starting point is 00:44:52 Love you guys. We love you too. You look stunning. You always look radiant, but you look so good. You're very sweet. You guys both look gorgeous. Bye. Good to see you.
Starting point is 00:45:01 All right, Sean, well, we know that you're a busy man. You have three crazy kids that you got to take care of, so we'll let you go. But thank you again for joining us today. It was my pleasure. Thank you, ladies. It's so good to see you. Thank you. And we'll see more of you next week.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Yay! It was so nice talking to him. It's so interesting just to hear from a bachelor who, you know, got started not so long ago, but 10 years ago. It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't that long ago, but it was. It's 10 years. Like, I guess that's a lot. But just, like, the perspective and different things with it.
Starting point is 00:45:39 One thing that I am going to acknowledge, but I, like, I've acknowledged this before. But when we talk about, like, the different pressures coming into the season and what you have in your head as you're kind of, like, navigating during filming, honestly, as a black female coming into this, I, I always. I always knew that I felt the pressure, but like talking to different leads about their mindset and where their focus was, I'm realizing just how much pressure I really did feel, whether I knew where it was coming for or not at a point. But like, though that robotic feeling or that constant feeling in the back of my head where I'm like, not to take like the podcast to a dark turn or anything, pun not intended there. But really, though, coming, you know, being in an area where you're like, well, how are people going to respond with this?
Starting point is 00:46:36 How is this going to be taken? How is this going to be taken? It wasn't a character issue necessarily. It was very much of like what I was combating as a black female in that role. Yeah. And I'm sure. Did you ever talk to Rachel beforehand, too? I know because Rachel was the first black lead in the franchise.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I did. I did speak with her. briefly. But again, I spoke with her and really wanted to respect her decision when she stepped away from the franchise because that was that season where everything had taken a turn. Well, not even everything had unfolded with, you know, the Kirkconnell controversy and all of that. And so the Annabellon Party. And that was what I came. off of and that's definitely where I felt the pressure and it's like gosh it's just so different it's so different yeah and you and I can't I mean you went in with completely different
Starting point is 00:47:40 expectations and pressures and anxieties around certain things that I will I could never fathom because I'm not a black woman it's and and just knowing how you operated I mean yes you I know you mentioned like you were anxious throughout it and there was definitely i'm sure times where you questioned like if this was the best role for you but throughout your like you've handled everything so well like and you did it the best you could like i think that's what everyone yeah i was just i think i was just more guarded it was but it wasn't it wasn't guarded in like a lot of leads i don't know if people know this but a lot of leads like tend to get paranoid of oh yes what are what are your tensions producers what are your intentions producers what are your
Starting point is 00:48:25 intentions. You know, everybody, a lot of people get really paranoid. And for me, I did have, I actually was fairly relaxed as I was going through it, but I was operating under really intense pressure and really just having to think for myself with everything, regardless of who is giving me advice. Because it was like, nobody really understands what this is like, or nobody that I'm talking to necessarily because yeah i kind of really did it solo yeah that's did you have a moment like when you talk about the paranoia and sorry we're like totally on a tangent but now i'm curious i was like i was just just hearing you too today talk about like what was in your mind and like relax and have fun and it was yeah it was yes i i really did have fun and i really like bonded with
Starting point is 00:49:21 the people around me but i was like shit we didn't have anybody come in and talk to me or we didn't have somebody, you know, with Matt James, there was somebody by his side consulting with him and everything like I, I really did that shit by myself. I did have Caitlin and Tasha. I didn't like, dang. Yeah, I guess I didn't even really remember that you, you know, like they'll bring past leads in or past people in to kind of kick off the season. I didn't even realize that you didn't have that. It was just, like you said, you're writing solo following like the most heightened time in the franchise history. And just with social media and things with Sean, he was like, well, social media was around, but it wasn't like that.
Starting point is 00:50:06 And you were saying like, you know, social media was just getting started. And I'm like, shit, we were in COVID. We were in pandemic lockdown. Everybody did social media. Like that's all you did. That's all everybody was on is getting their hands into stuff and all that's everything. I'm like, dang. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:26 I'm going to get myself a little pat on the back right now. I'm going to go take a trip. You treat yourself. I hate that shit. Oh, gosh. But now, like, also, now that you're out of it, like, you've checked that box. You did it. Now, like, do you feel like you can be more free in a way where you can be more yourself and
Starting point is 00:50:49 breathe, even though you are still in the public spotlight? Yeah. You are still, you know, you have a lot of people following you who are fans of the show. Do you feel like you can breathe a bit more and out all that's behind you? Yeah. And I want to start with, I'm, me, me bringing this up isn't like me saying, well, I didn't have that. And I, you know, we joke about like me not being able to travel and like, whatever. But, but it's really, I'm very happy that the leads around me were able to receive that support.
Starting point is 00:51:19 And I did have, I will say, Caitlin Bristol. Caitlin Bristow helped me a ton, a ton for sure. But yeah, I think now I'm very much like I got myself through it. I navigated that. I navigated the race piece by myself. I navigate. And when I say about, you know, I navigated it by myself. And now I'm just like I know how to navigate things in a way where I can very much relax.
Starting point is 00:51:51 and also very much realize when somebody is putting me in a situation where I will have repercussions and consequences, and they don't intend to, but I've learned to think for myself, for sure. And you can hold the feet of the fire. And yeah, and I've really honestly, learning this new world of social media, you can mess a lot of things up. And I've been put in situations that I really could have unintentionally hurt myself. And because I am able to think for myself, I was able to be like, no, no, and turn those things down. But yeah, wild, wild times. But I'm really happy that him and Zach really to kind of bring that conversation back
Starting point is 00:52:34 to Sean, really happy that him and Zach are able to kind of have that relationship. And it seems like Zach has a lot of support from counterparts and just different things as he's navigating this. And that's great because the world is not even. Yeah. And it's going to change very quickly for him. If it hasn't already, he will experience it very soon next week with his very own season premiere. So yeah, I think with that, I mean, we'll have a lot to talk about next week. I don't know who the guest is quite yet. Maybe it'll be Zach. Maybe somebody from his season. We'll find out. But yeah, Michelle, it's always so great chatting with you. Thank you again for being here with me today. Couldn't do this without you, girl. But yeah, I'll always. see you next. Absolutely love you. Same goes to you, Becca. And Bachelor, happy our listeners. If you know the person who took that Bible that has that letter from Catherine, if there's anything you get from this podcast, bring it back. Please return it. Yeah. Just
Starting point is 00:53:39 drop it off in the mailbox on the front step, the truck that you broke into, whatever it may be. That's, nobody's got to know. Nobody's got to know. Just get the letter back. Do the right thing here. Amen. Okay. Well, with that, let's end on that note and do the right thing. Thank you to Sean for joining us today. And of course, to all of you, Bachelor. Happy Hour listeners. We love having you on each and every week. And everybody, don't forget, casting is now open for men to date our next Bachelorette. So if you are single or if you have a friend or family member who is single, that you also think would be ready to find love and some entertainment for the TV. Please go to the website to nominate or apply. That site is bachelornation.com slash apply.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Make sure to hit us up on social. You can follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram. And from there, you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on Twitter and TikTok. And for those prime members out there, you can always listen to Bachelor Happy Hour ad free on Amazon Music. Just download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can also listen to ad free with Wonderie Plus in Apple Podcasts. But before you go, make sure to tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Thank you, everyone, and see you next week. Cheers!
Starting point is 00:55:01 My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't. trust her now he's insisting we get to know each other but i just want or gone hold up isn't that against school policy that seems inappropriate maybe find out how it ends by listening to the okay storytime podcast and the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts
Starting point is 00:55:34 i'm dr scott barry coughman host of the psychology podcast here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you when you think about emotion regulation you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier complex problem solving takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have a
Starting point is 00:56:18 have unmedicated ADHD. Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. This is an IHeart podcast.

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