Bachelor Happy Hour - Serena P. Talks Emotional Departure and Seeing Matt for the First Time at ‘Women Tell All’
Episode Date: March 9, 2021She had one of the most emotional exits from this season of “The Bachelor,” and now Serena P. is sitting down with Becca and guest co-host Tayshia Adams on “Bachelor Happy Hour” to talk about ...her time dating Matt James. Serena opens up about their strong instant connection and her initial feelings that they would be together at the end of this. Serena also discusses her breakup with Matt and clarifies her “you’re not my person” comment. Plus, Serena speaks on seeing Matt for the first time at “Women Tell All” and reveals whether there’s any lingering feelings between the two of them. “Bachelor Happy Hour” has exclusive interviews each and every week. Watch “The Bachelor” on ABC and listen to “Bachelor Happy Hour” the next morning. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.
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Welcome back, Happy Hour listeners.
And as we are recording this, I just had a thought across my brain.
And that is, we only have two weeks left of Matt James this season.
Obviously, we saw everything go down last night.
We are going to do a quick recap today.
But next week is the finale, which is crazy to think.
I feel like this season has been so long at time.
and then so short at times, but I can't get into the recap and I can't get into our amazing
guests that we're having on later without some incredible reinforcement. So I thought I would bring
none other than my girl Tasha back. So Tasha, welcome once again to Bachelor Happy Hour.
What is? I'm so happy to be back. Honestly, this is very fun. And honest, I don't want to tell my
co-host that I'm here. It feels like doing something a little naughty, to be honest with you. But
like, well, they don't know. It doesn't hurt. You know what I mean?
So let's have some fun.
This is good.
You know what?
I've heard this many times this week, but it's better to ask for forgiveness and permission
or beg for permission.
So you know what?
We're just going to get into this.
Joe and Natasha on ClickBake and get out to you after this.
But while we have you here, we have to get into it because like I said, we have an incredible
guests coming on today, one that I think fans have been asking for a while and especially
after the gut-runching goodbye and her hot seat on Women to All.
So very soon,
guys. We will be bringing on Serena P. I can't wait to have her sit down and just pick her brain a little
bit more of like what was actually going through her mind when she said her goodbyes, when she
self-eliminated. And also when she saw him again at Women Tell All because I know from experience
that seeing an X is never easy. It's uncomfortable. So I just want to hear woman to woman like what
was going through her brain and her heart at that point. But before we do, it's a spicy week,
you guys it's it's fantasy sweet week and um it's so funny because we both as leads have lived
through fantasy sweet week as a contestant and getting in our heads knowing like that this guy that
we like that we're falling for that we're dating that we're trying to potentially end up with at
the end is seeing other women and then we've also lived it on our side where it's like the ball was
kind of in our should I say the balls were kind of in our court and like we got to do several
love them. Yeah, they literally were. Yes. Yes. And so it's like, you know, in that moment,
you're kind of like living this high and you're like, oh, this is everyone's dream. I'm, you know,
it's so fun to be able to do this. But you've had the most recent fantasy suites because, you know,
it was your season last season. So what is it like remembering, like reliving those moments and
then watching it back on a different season? Oh my gosh. I just remember how.
like intense that week was for me because like I am such I guess I'm not really reserved but
it's not typical that I take like three to four guys guys into a fantasy suite um let alone
day 20 of them but what I'm trying to say is I just remember you know how many emotions you're
going through and like trying to really just feel out each relationship and and seeing where
that's going and really trying to see those people in your life like long term
And I was feeling for matches because I know how stressful that week is.
But also for the girls, because you can get really in your head and get very self-conscious.
You have no idea how the other relationships are going.
I mean, you know, especially now, usually the women are separated.
But they're in the same hotel.
So they're seeing each other.
They're seeing each other come back from the dates and whatnot.
And you can see if they're happy, if they're upset, like whatever it is.
And so I'd only imagine how it feels for that.
That was like my one takeaway.
Like I honestly, like, I don't think we need to get into like a date by date night by night because like it was pretty standard.
It was very straightforward.
Like nothing too major really happened with the individual overnights.
But like the fact that the women still have to live together and see each other and talk about it, that in itself has to be difficult.
because I remember on my time on The Bachelor,
like, and I was separated from the girls.
We were all in separate hotels.
I didn't see them after that, like,
and so I can't even imagine.
And I was so in my head at that point.
I was like, I was going so crazy,
just like pacing my room back and forth being like,
you know, I have this really strong connection
and I feel so confident, but like he's having a nice little slumber party
with somebody else and you just like run through all of these scenarios
and your mind runs away.
you and the fact that like these girls have to sit down and I'm sure eat some meals together
and talk about like things that they don't want to necessarily talk about with people that
are you know dating the same man like it's that that that that was like one of my major points
and I was like God that sucks like it sucks for men's a lot of pressure yeah I mean like
because I feel like you definitely want to try to stay I don't know in your own lane and think
about only your relationship and not start to compare and do all that kind of thing um do all that kind of
stuff, but you are forced to literally be in that situation and be like, so, how was it?
I don't care how it was, but their dates look like they written really well. I think Matt and
Michelle have such an amazing connection. Bree and him, I think, had such a conversation that
was really tough for her and for him. And I'm so happy they were able to bond, you know,
with their dads and everything. And as far as, like, Rachel in the pottery date, I feel like
it kind of started off a little rocky but
there's always a one there's always that one person that I swear
they always save them for last that are in their head like
so I get it like there's always that one but speaking of the conversation like that
he had with Brie and you know he he had mentioned well and he had mentioned it to most
of the girls that he had finally had this very uncomfortable I think long
overdue conversation with his father right let's
get into this because I'm sure we have like maybe differing thoughts but like watching that conversation
when his dad came in I felt for Matt in that moment like honestly and maybe it was just me like
who at this point of my life I don't have a father in my life because he passed away like
watching this conversation was so gut-wrenching to me but it also made me feel slightly
uncomfortable like it like I felt like personally it's something that I shouldn't be watching like I it should not have been aired like this was such a hard it was very intimate very intimate conversation that like part of me wishes he would have had it I think it was needed for both of them but like also I wish it would have been kept private a little bit I'm in the same boat with you it was very gut-wrenching in fact I was crying just because I can tell like he had so much emotion
and there was so much hurt there.
And even his dad just like,
you can tell that he knew that he had hurt Matt, you know?
It was very heavy and I feel for him so much.
But I'm happy they had the conversation,
but I have to agree with you.
It seemed, I wish the conversation would have happened like behind closed doors.
But I think another beautiful thing about this like journey is that it really puts you
in uncomfortable positions to really face feelings that you're.
having and um have these tough conversations especially with the girls but also with your family like
i had some with my dad like i never used to talk to my dad about like men and whatnot but um you have to do
it at some point and so i felt kind of awkward in a way that it was so intimate but i'm so happy
they were able to finally have that conversation because it seemed long overdue yeah and i think
Matt said it best he made and I might botch exactly what he said so please bear with me but he made the
comment like this isn't going to be fixed in one conversation like this is a journey it's going to
take time it's going to have like something that's going to have to continue to happen I'm glad that
he recognized that and that he said that because it's so true it's not something that can just be
fixed in a 15 minute conversation on national television so I think moving forward I just
want to leave it at this is like, I hope that they started this solid foundation where they can
continue to build off of that and continue to have conversations and be in each other's lives
in some capacity. From what we saw, it was the start of that and they were able to hug it out.
And I think Matt was able to feel some sort of weight off of his chest. So I truly just like pray
and hope that he continues to fight for that with his father, if that is indeed what they both
want so absolutely out of this entire episode that was like one of the most i think potent moments
that that we saw go down that really stuck out to me same here i mean i don't think we've seen such
like a raw conversation before yeah exactly yeah so it's it started with the heavy it then got
into the little hot and heavy if you will with the uh little overnight fantasy suites um
which we won't get into because you know we saw it all go down nothing made
major, major happened. It was a pretty standard.
Yeah. Very standard. Your typical fantasy sweet weeks. There's always someone in their head. There's
always awkward moments. Like, um, shout out to, to Brie for continuing to stay classy and
elegant and so poised and respectful. Like when she was going home, um, my heart goes out to her.
No breakup is ever easy. So Brie, you are incredible. I'm sure, hopefully at some point we'll maybe
have her on the podcast. We'll see. But in terms of
guess. We just have to bring on our girl because it's time for the woman of the hour. Like I said,
people have been asking for her. So you guys, let's just bring her on. She made the tough
decision to send herself home after the hometown dates. And we saw her and Matt have some
wonderful closure on women till all. But today, she's going to be here to answer all of our and your
questions because so many of you submitted so many questions. So thank you. So without further
ado, you guys, please welcome Serena P. All righty. Well, first and foremost,
Serena, welcome to Bachelor
Happy Hour. We are so excited to have you
mainly because I'm selfish
and you've been one of my favorites
this entire season. So
I just want to start it off asking, how
are you, how have you been since
film, fill us in?
Thank you so much. I'm so excited
to be here. So thanks for having me.
I've been good.
Life has been crazy.
This is not where I thought I would
be. But I'm
super happy to be
here and, you know, the support I've received is amazing. So I've really been receiving and
feeling nothing but very loved and supported lately. That's so good. How did you, we always
asked this question just because I'm, we're so intrigued of how anyone ever gets on the show,
but how did you initially get on to Matt's season? So I applied like very late in the application
process. I applied because it was Matt. He got announced and I applied about two months later, I think.
a little bit of pushing and shoving from my mom and my sister, but they finally broke me down
and got me to apply. So, yeah, I filled out something online, and the ball kind of started
rolling and kept rolling, and then I ended up on the show. So that's my sister. Yeah, it's so
exciting. It was them, like, propelling you to do it. And then you made it as far as you did,
and they got to be him too. So that's crazy. You know, I've been a fan of the show for years,
but I never imagined myself actually going on it.
So it definitely took some encouragement to get me to that place,
but I'm grateful for it.
Do you think you would have applied had it been any other bachelor,
or was it solely for the fact that it was Mr. Matt James?
No, it was definitely very much because it was Matt James.
I think, you know, COVID in the state of the world obviously has a factor in that decision,
but I couldn't have seen myself applying not knowing who the bachelor was.
that would have just been difficult for me.
I saw Matt, obviously he's an incredibly good-looking guy
and just kind of the few things I've seen from him on the internet.
I remember thinking, like, if I'm up this guy at a bar,
I think we'd hit it off.
Like, I think I would shoot my shot with him.
I love that.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we did end up having a great connection.
Well, speaking of connections, I mean, you guys seemed to hit it right off the bat.
Like, you were one of the very first girls to get that.
that one-on-one date. So two-part question, A, did you feel that spark right away like that
instant connection? And B, did you expect to get a one-on-one with him so early on?
I think it's hard to know when that one-on-one's coming. Everyone's hopeful for it right off
the bat. I definitely felt that connection from night one. I mean, it was just really easy
and natural between us. We had great conversation and it never felt forced.
There's obviously an attraction there.
I mean, from the first group date, our relationship really hit the ground running.
So getting that one-on-one early on was, it was great because I felt like our relationship was on a fantastic track.
So to have that extended time to just propel it that much more forward, I mean, it was, I was really lucky to have received it.
Yeah, I definitely feel like I saw a spark between you guys really early on.
Did you guys feel like that as well, especially.
with the one-on-one coming on,
I feel like, I don't know,
you kind of have like an idea
or like a little bit of an instinct,
like, oh my gosh,
I feel like we're doing really well,
this might be me.
Like, did you kind of have an idea
or did it totally take you by surprise?
No, I can definitely relate to that.
I think, I mean,
after the first group date,
we had like had a great conversation
and we'd kissed and I was like,
oh my gosh, there's this huge spark there.
So I definitely felt that week
I was definitely feeling like it could have been me on that date card.
Yeah. It's exciting. I mean, you never know. I think a lot of girls steal that, but because of how
strong our relationship was so early on, I was hopeful and felt like there was a good chance that
I was kind of in the running for that date. Okay, Serena, I have to say because you, like,
you from the beginning were somebody who seemed so easy going, always laughing, just you had
this like beautiful spark of energy about you that like really i feel like you were just like down
for anything as long as you were with matt enjoying the moments like you were open to it but
you kind of did get the short end of the stick because your first one i won with matt obviously
you had what like donkeys or ponies all in your face like as you're trying to make out with him
and then you're it was the second one on one date which was the yoga date that you really like
could tell you were out of your comfort zone you did not seem to enjoy
it like what was going through your head during the time of the yoga date where you just like gosh
dang it another date where it's just like uncomfortable like talk us through your thought process
in that second one-on-one yeah definitely so going to that second one-on-one I was obviously
over the moon I was not expecting it because it was a second one-on-one so I was like what are we
doing I'm so excited and I remember someone had said oh do you think you're
doing like yoga or tantric yoga?
I really hope not, but let's see.
And then we showed up and
sure enough. I know.
There we were.
You know, a lot of people have said,
oh, it was so obvious she wasn't into Matt on that date
and they didn't have chemistry and they didn't have this connection.
And for me, that really wasn't what it came down to.
I'm very attracted to Matt.
We were extremely affectionate throughout our entire relationship with each other.
And I love that component of it.
I just didn't love the force.
intimacy. And I was pretty vocal about that. And I think that's why, you know, when I told Matt
later, it wasn't my thing. I don't think he was completely thrown off or shocked. I did say,
though, it's not something I would do again. I didn't feel comfortable. But I was glad to hear that
he enjoyed that experience and he felt like it bonded us and grew our relationship. Because at that point,
I was still very invested in him and very invested in us and to hear that he gained something from that
experience, I was like, okay, I didn't like it. I won't do it again. But there's a silver line
in here. And that was that it meant something special to Matt. And yeah, I mean, everything I said,
I feel 100%. It just really wasn't for me. It wasn't in my comfort zone. And when it comes
to physical intimacy, I don't think that's an area where you should really be forcing yourself
out of your comfort zone and a relationship. Well, you want that to be super organic and not
I feel like, okay, like you have to kiss him now, kiss him, do this and that, especially when you're, it's a new relationship.
And so like, I don't know. I totally get that. Yeah, especially when it's a new relationship, like, that's not something that anyone would usually pick to do on a first date, probably. And so the fact that, yeah, adding in that added layer of like, you're not only around a crew who's filming this, but like, you know your family is going to be watching this back in a few short months and like, how do you explain this?
It's not awkward. I totally get that.
Like, you're talking to the girl who watched the Fantasy Suite Week with her entire family.
And I was like, this is not how I want to be spending my time right now.
I made sure not to do that.
Yeah, no, you're smart. You're smart. I totally get it.
So, Serena, if you're ever in that position in the future, like, Bad Charette on Paradise,
like, just don't watch it back with your family.
But how has it been, because obviously, like, they were shown because you did.
make it so far. You did make it to hometowns. So how is watching the entire season back with them?
What do they have to say? Like, are they supportive? Like, is it their, like, girl who they know and love?
Like, are they seeing you reflected as who they know you are on TV? And then how excited were you
for Matt to finally meet them? So I have been at home because we're in lockdown in Canada still
in a lot of areas. So I have been watching every episode with basically just my family and specifically my
parents. So there's definitely been a couple awkward moments, but they are, they're so supportive
and they're super proud of me, which is so great. I'm very happy they got to meet Matt. They
really loved him and they really love being able to come and meet him and kind of share that
experience. It's really unique having had my family come because it's one of those things I say
to my friends, you'll never fully understand what I went through because you watch the show,
but there's so much behind it. But my family actually does. So I feel really privileged to have
kind of gotten to share that with them.
But, yeah, watching it back is unique.
But a lot of the feedback from family and friends has just been that the person I am sitting
on the couch in my house is the same person you see on TV.
And that was kind of my goal in the show was to just stay grounded in who I am and put
my whole self on the table, you know, flaws in all, Matt, this is who I am, make a decision
if you like me or not, because we only got a couple weeks.
And I think that my family and friends were able to see that.
So that's been kind of cool to hear that feedback.
were you like nervous or excited at all like what tell me your thought process like what
were you hoping to come out of your hometowns like were there some hesitations that you had
what was going on our hometown yeah so going into hometowns i was kind of starting to have
those deaths that you saw boil over i was starting to recognize that there might be something
there that pulled me back but i was just so hopeful that i was going to feel
I was going to be like, I'm in love after that day.
You know, I was falling in love.
I really wanted to get there.
We had this amazing relationship on paper.
There was just nothing wrong.
I couldn't figure out any reason to have these doubts, but they were there.
So I was like, my family's going to meet him.
They're going to love him.
It's going to be phenomenal.
It's going to be rainbows and butterflies and unicorns.
And I'm going to be ants when I leave today.
And that's obviously not what happened.
But that's not to say that it was bad.
It was just, I got clarity.
I just get the clarity that I walked in hoping to get.
Right. I was able to really figure out where I was at. And I'm glad that that happened that week versus a week or two down the line. You know, I don't want to lose it. I'm mine or Matt. So I'm happy that I was able to have that reflection with my family and also then take it to reflect it on myself. Like, where am I at? Where is this going? Like, there's only a few weeks left. Yeah. Let me, let me ask you this because, so we talked about you sending yourself home last week on our podcast.
and kind of like so and this was me and this is why I'm so happy we have you on to kind of clear the air a little bit I was watching it and I said something along the lines of like a lot like on paper Matt looks perfect like he probably checks all the boxes at this point that she would want but maybe just like that mm that like one spark the like passion's not there like whatever it might be like there's like just something missing so knowing that and then having your family
sit down and be like, you know, you don't seem like you're fully committed. You don't
seem like you're all in or ready for this. Like, had they responded differently in that
moment, would you still, do you think have self-eliminated? Or had they been like fully
supported all in like, oh yeah, we see it. He's great. Go for gold. Would you have stuck
around longer, do you think? Um, potentially, I think that has Matt, you know, not ended our
relationships in the following weeks, I still might have. I think I still might have gotten
to that place on my own. It might have just taken me a little bit longer because what the audience
didn't get to see was my family being like, if you fall in love and get engaged with this guy,
we'll throw you if he's party and be thrilled for you. I mean, he's great. He seems like he really
cares about you. You seem like you could be a great fit together. So we're happy either way.
They were very much, this is what we see and this is what we hear from you. And those are some things
that you need to address within yourself.
But if you come to us and say,
nope, I fell in love, we got engaged, this is all great,
they would have been totally happy.
So it really wasn't them pushing me in a certain direction.
It was them picking up on those that I was having
when I was trying to express myself
and talk about my feelings and struggling to do so.
And you had like a very emotional conversation with your mom.
And she brings up your past relationships
And looking back, do you think that that's affected your ability to move forward with that?
I don't think that was what affected my ability to move forward.
Like, I don't see what I went through my past relationship as a block.
Yeah.
I think what it was was in my last relationship, I really trusted my gut,
and that relationship ended in heartbreak and pain.
So I was struggling to trust my gut again with Matt
because I didn't want to make the wrong decision.
And I didn't really know where my gut was leading me because, you know, I wanted, I wanted it to work out.
But that's kind of what I got to with my mom and that conversation why I was so emotional.
And there was a lot going on that whole week.
And, I mean, you can, you both experienced it hometowns.
It's just, it's a lot.
You're very aware of the soon engagement that's coming up.
So I was really overwhelmed.
I was struggling to trust myself in that moment and struggling to just figure out what this feeling in my gut.
was. Was it fear? Was I just scared of getting heartbroken again? Or was it something more than that?
Was it something that should make me consider removing myself in the relationship?
Having your family there really makes it real, like really quick. And it really makes you check
yourself and just being like, look. I know like, I'm a smart girl and I have good instincts
and whatnot. But at the same time, it's like, I don't know. Am I in Love Island a little bit?
like do I need to check myself and think about reality and like what life will really look like
after this so I totally understand that mom always puts in everything into perspective too so totally
and your family they know you best and a lot of times too they'll check you and they'll they will
recognize and call out things that you either a don't even see in yourself or want to acknowledge
so sometimes in those scenarios like you really need them to solidify one way or the other like
what's going to be the best decision in the long run?
Because at the end of the day, like, say you were to get engaged and get married,
like, you're not just marrying this one person.
Like, you're marrying into the family.
Like, you are bonded for life.
And that's, like, it should not be taken lightly.
And so, Serena, like, I'm, I, kudos to you for really, like,
listening to what your family had to say.
And it sounds like they were so incredibly supportive.
But at the end of the day, like, really feeling like, what, what are my emotions here?
Is it fear?
is it like the fact that I could get hurting it, whatever might be like, I think that's really
strong of you as a woman to listen to your gut. And I mean, I will say like watching that breakup that
last day when you said goodbye to Matt, like it was gut wrenching. Like we watched, we've all seen
the show and like some breakups, you know, like tug at your heartstrings. Some are easier than
others. Some are just like pitiful. Like whatever might be. But like yours truly like I felt like you
guys cared about each other and had so much respect. And, you know, Matt, like, I think at the end of the day was
so into you, but he was also respectful of your decision and be like, look, like, I, you know,
I can't, like, if you don't want to be here, like, I can't talk you into it. Like, this is a two-way
street. So going into that conversation and that breakup, what were you telling yourself? Like,
did you kind of have a game plan? Were you thinking, like, did you assume he was going to respond one
way? Like, speak on that going into it.
I definitely went into the breakup, I guess you could say prepared, as prepared as you can be.
I mean, breakups are really emotional, and I wanted to kind of have an idea of what I wanted
to articulate to ensure that I gave him as much closure as possible and wasn't overcome by emotion
and wasn't able to kind of prospectively communicate to him.
I didn't know how he was going to react if I'm being completely honest.
I mean, I think you can really know someone, but going through a breakup just is a whole other thing.
And we've never been through something similar to that.
So it was really a first.
And his reaction was something I kind of just left open in the sense, you know, whatever comes comes and we'll have whatever conversation he wants to have.
I know that, you know, my delivery was a little on the harsher side with kind of me saying, you're not my person.
That wasn't an accident.
It was a choice.
And I agree that it's a harsh statement.
and it really, really killed me to say it
because I knew it would hurt him,
but I felt, and, you know, maybe this is right,
maybe this is wrong,
but in that moment I felt being as clear and direct as possible
about where I stood in that relationship
and what my feelings were and why I was leaving
was the best thing I could do for him
because he has three other women.
He doesn't have weeks to ponder.
We don't have time to have multiple conversations
it's one conversation and then I'm gone
and then he goes on dates with other women
so I didn't want him to
leave that conversation with any doubts
any what if any questions
I wanted to be as
straightforward as I possibly could
and it was hard I was emotional
yeah I don't think it was harsh
I don't think you need to beat yourself up I think in that case
when you say like time is of the essence
and you like at that point
there was four of you left like I thought that was commendable
Like, to be honest, like, putting myself back into the shoes as a leave, like, if somebody would
have said that to me, like, sure, it would have been hard to hear. But at the end of the day, like,
I can't fault you for that. And I would rather have that directness than have multiple conversations
back and forth trying to figure out like, oh, but could this work? I want them to say, but like,
do they want to? And like, you said, all of the what ifs and the unknowns. Like, I think you handled
it, like, in a very respectable way. Absolutely. There was a point where like someone did say, like,
you know, I can't be here anymore because I just don't know if I can get engaged.
And unfortunately, that breakup kind of went back and forth.
He was like, I don't want to hurt you.
Like, you're everything I want.
But like, at the same time, it's like, I don't know if I can.
And like even the goodbye process was like, he was walking into the car and then came back
and held my hand and walking to the car and then came back and gave me a kiss.
Like, walk into the car.
I understand it seems like very harsh for you to be like, you're not my person.
But at the same time, it's so crucial.
I think in this, like, journey specifically because you're making such intense decisions
so quickly that it's like someone leaves you, you know, so I don't know, but just like no
reassurance that, you know, they have confidence in their decision. It's really sad. Like,
it's really sucky. It makes you second guess everything. It makes you like, okay, well, maybe
should I talk to him this way? Should we have a little bit more time? You know what I mean? So I love
the way that you did it. I think it was, you spoke your truth. Matt needed to hear it as harsh as it was.
it wasn't really harsh though.
Yeah, it's like the back and forth,
that limbo phase that you're in
doesn't ever help anything or anybody.
So I think cutting the cord quicker,
if you know it's not right,
helps especially when things are so sped up
in this show.
Yeah, I mean,
Serena, when you were driving away,
did you ever have the moment where you were like,
did I make a mistake?
Like, was that the third?
right decision because there was one time on my season where I sent a guy home early and it was the only
time where I was like, hmm, did I do that too fast? Like should I, should I have kept around a little
bit longer? Like, did that ever cross your mind? Yeah. I mean, I remember driving away being like,
I miss him already. What the heck? I just left him. I and I already missed him. And I think it's so
easy and normal after a breakup just to go through those what if. And my biggest what if was what
if I'd stayed one more week? What if I'd stay
till fantasy sweep? We got a whole night
together. It was un-miked off-camera
time that we could have spent together. Would
that have changed anything? Did I
call it too soon? I gave myself one more week.
But I think in the emotional
state I was in
I would have felt really guilty
doing that to him because
to take a spot from someone who
was certain, and I knew the other three
women were, they were in a place of certainty,
how disrespectful
to take that valuable time away
from one of his other relationships
to figure out
if he might be my fiance
I just didn't feel
authentic doing that
I felt kind of just shade
it would have felt really shady to me
and in the real world you know
the real world I mean this is the real world
but you know what I mean
a normal dating life
you kind of have that time to be like
okay I'm not sure like let me give this another week or two
let me go and scheme a few more times
before I make that decision but we just you don't have to
luxury of that on the show.
I don't want to keep harping on it, but was there
like one specific red flag that you were
just like, you know,
this is just something we're not saying eye to eye on
or that kind of
kept resonating to.
I kind of think
because I would love to have that.
Like I would love to be able to say like
XYZ is why it didn't work out.
And I mean,
I think every relationship there's
things that you're completely
eye to eye on and those things that
you may be, are not completely either I am, but there was nothing big enough that I was like,
this is a red flag.
Right.
You had to run.
Like, it was, it was, there was nothing that was just so obviously wrong or any big issue,
which is what made it so difficult.
I mean, you can see I was just like emotionally torn over this decision because when there's
nothing wrong, it's like, well, why am I doing this?
Like, I'm leaving this great guy.
I'm leaving this great relationship.
But right.
At the end of the day, I just felt like I had to fall in my gut in my heart.
I can't fault a person for doing all that.
So let's get into women tell all because that was your first time then seeing Matt since that hard goodbye.
What was it like sitting down, seeing him face to face, having that first conversation since the breakup?
Like, talk us through what you were feeling in that moment.
I was really nervous to see Matt for the first time.
I think when he walked out
the first thing I thought was
oh my gosh the beard
so that kind of calmed the nerve
hard to miss
that is
looking at him
so funny
so yeah I'm grateful for the beard
it definitely just calmed my nerves
for a second
but it was good to see him
I mean I do wish the best for him
I hope that he's happy
I mean all those things
we didn't get to obviously have an extensive conversation.
We just kind of got to briefly address each other.
But I was glad to be able to just reiterate why I made that decision to leave
what might have felt like quite abruptly.
And just to be able to say, I care about you and I still care about you.
And I wish the best for you.
And I hope that this journey did work and you found love.
I mean, like looking back, like how do you feel about everything?
now like obviously you're still happy with your decision obviously you're doing well but was it
would there like be anything you would ever change or how are you feeling i don't think so i mean
i think hindsight obviously 2020 and watching yourself back on tv is just a whole other level of
hindsight that i know that i would experience so weird um but i think overall i'm proud of the way
that I handled myself and I'm proud of the decisions that I made and there was a lot of hard
decisions and hard moments. I mean, this is not an easy journey. But there's nothing that I sit here
like, oh, that's a huge regret or I really wish I'd done or said this differently. But I mean,
it's still learning experience. Like, I've learned a lot from that show. That's not to say I didn't
take away things that I will change or work on in the future. Of course. Yeah.
I think, and I've said this many times before, like, there's no possible way that you can go on the show as either contestant or lead and not learn so much more about yourself as an individual, so much more about how you handle relationships with a partner, relationships with the other women, with the crew.
Like, there's just so much that you can take away.
Like, and we asked some of the other guests, but like, one.
one thing that you learned most about yourself that you want to share with us. What was that?
So for me, I have a really tight-knit community of family and friends at home. And I love to have
everyone weigh in on big decisions in my life. So I tend to go to them for advice and support
and to hear their opinions. With this, you're completely disconnected. You have no technology,
nothing. Everyone else in this house is either working on the show or dating the same guy as you.
So I really felt like, and that's not to say I didn't have friends or people that I confided
in, but I really felt like when it came down to decisions for me and to my relationship,
I had to rely on myself. And I think I've always felt comfortable making decisions,
but I've gained a newfound sense of confidence in my ability to make decisions. And
to give myself the leeway to maybe make mistakes.
And being able to trust my gut, trust myself, and be like, okay,
I'm a 23-year-old, confident woman who knows who she is and knows what's best for herself.
And if I make mistakes, that's okay.
But I'm capable in making those decisions and those calls independently.
It's definitely a wake-up call to like, because you don't have anybody to call on.
And you have to rely on yourself.
and it feels really freaking good to come back and be like, yeah, I freaking did that.
And you feel good about every decision you made.
So I love that.
Serena, we have some fan questions for you that I really want to get into because like I said,
you were like a fan favorite for me for so many people.
But before we get into that, you know, I love the fact that you are a confident woman
that you gained more independence and confidence from this show.
There's a lot that the world has to offer in terms of bachelor nation.
and all of the fun things to come.
So what's next for you is paradise potentially on the horizon for you?
Ooh, she smiled big.
You see that?
Yeah, she did.
I see all those teeth, girl.
I mean, my season just ended.
So I feel like I'm just kind of coming down from all of that.
And I am back at work at my job.
But I had a positive experience with the show and can see how it can work.
and can see how you can find love in it.
So I would definitely be open to consider an opportunity
again with the franchise in the future.
It's so exciting.
It's a good time.
And you're right.
You can find love on the show.
Yes.
Yes.
Tasha knows firsthand.
I knew it for a little bit.
But speaking of, I mean, and there's not only Paradise.
Like, obviously, Paradise is in a few short months.
So you have some time to figure out work
and like what path you potentially want to take.
But would you ever also consider becoming
Bachelorette in the future if you were offered it?
I would consider it.
Yeah.
I would definitely consider it.
I like it.
Keep those options open, girlfriend.
What was it like kissing a 6-5 man?
Oh my gosh.
It was, Matt is actually really good about not making the height difference
awkward.
Like, I've met guys who are really tall and they feel
tall when you're around them like trying to hug them and like just the overall interaction
and like and I'm five too like I'm a small person so being that height difference between me
and that the girls in the house you make fun of me saying like I'd have to like reach up to grab
his hand or that I look just like so little next to him but no he is definitely the tallest guy I've
ever dated and I can't say it was awkward in any way if anything it was fun because he could
pick me up like I was nothing oh my gosh and that's that's that's
That's always fun.
Let's see.
If you guys were both single,
would you give Matt another chance?
It's really the question of the day it feels like.
Look, Matt went on that show to find his future wife and to find love.
And that wasn't me at this time.
I do hope that he's found that with someone.
He had three incredible women left.
And I'm hopeful he got what he was looking for from that journey.
I mean, I'll never say never.
Who knows where we'll be a few years down the line.
If her past reconnect or we collide, like I said, we had an amazing relationship.
And I still look on it really fondly and still care about him.
But at this time, you know, I've made my choice with the relationship.
And I'm hopeful that he's done love.
Yeah.
That's sweet.
Yeah.
All right, Serena P.
We have one more question.
Well, actually two more questions because I can't forget the main question that we
all of our guests. But I'm dying to know as, as are many of our fans, because I actually got
a lot of DMs after I did an Insta story announcing that we were going to have you on the podcast.
How tasty was the actual Poutine that you had with Matt on your hometown date?
Oh my gosh. I mean, not tasty at all.
The image see for itself. I listed the list.
lid. Lids on all of the food dishes. So I lifted the lid and I looked at Matt and was like,
it's cold. And then we tasted it. I was like, oh, it's cold. It's cold. This has been
sitting here for a few minutes. It's definitely not made in Canada. Don't be wrong. You can't
really go wrong with cheese fries and gravy. But if Matt ever comes to Canada, I definitely
encourage him to try our pudding. All right, Serena. Well, we ask all of our guests this and because
you know, we're basically almost at the end of the season and you've lived through so much
of the drama and the love and like all of the things that this wonderful show has to offer.
So overall for you, what was your rose and what was your thorn of this journey?
Oh, gosh.
I guess I'll start with my thorn, not to take this in a dark turn, but just to give you guys
a little bit of insight on something that I went through.
the season that out of respect for me
and my family wasn't shown
a few days before hometown, my grandmother
passed away. So that
was kind of the first piece of news I found
out from the outside world and
being trapped in Nemakola and you know
our season didn't travel at all. So I mean, I'm sure
Tasia you can relate to this. Being in that
bubble and having no idea
what's happening for weeks on end
it was a really hard kind of hit
for me and for my family and I know my friends
were like, we look exhausted
in some of these episodes and just because there
was a lot going on.
So it made seeing my family and getting to have that reunion with them at
hometown is that much more special and that much more meaningful.
And then, you know, take it on a little better of a happy.
I'm so sorry to hear that, by the way.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My rose was my relationship with Matt.
Honestly, it was.
I know that sounds kind of silly to say because obviously I ended that relationship,
but I think that you learn and grow from every relationship you have.
and we made some incredible memories together
that I still did this day cherish.
And I'll take everything I learned from him
and from that relationship
into my next relationships and into the future.
So I am very grateful for that.
Yeah.
This is, I mean, yes,
acquintatious sentiment about your grandma.
I am so incredibly sorry.
I understand what it feels like to lose family members.
I can't imagine losing it
when you're away from them and can't be there to hold and support the rest of your family
members. So, you know, I'm wrapping you in a big virtual hug here. And I'm so sorry that you
guys had to deal with that at such a terrible, terrible time, especially with this year and
everything happening. Thanks, Serena. Well, maybe Paradise, maybe Bachelorette one day. Who knows?
The world is your oyster. So soak it all in. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me,
guys. I really appreciate it. This was fun. Oh, my gosh, Tasha. She was such a
pleasure to have on. I'm glad that we finally sat down. She's someone that I think the fans have
been wanting to hear from for a while since her very first one-on-one. So she's a sweetheart.
What did you think of her? I just love the way. I mean, I always thought that she carried herself so
well. And it's just super fun being able to talk to the girls right after they come off of the show.
I mean, I'm not used to it over there at Click Bay, but this is a really, I like that we give them
the opportunity because you learn so much more about them. Like, I was happy that she was able to
talk more about her family and just like what that meant to her and you know just yeah i'm really happy
we were able to talk to her yeah and that's the thing like and i've i have said this many times and like
please people call me out when i do it because i always go into the seasons being like the cast is so young
i feel so old i can't relate this and that and like i'm kind of a downer about it but i have to check
myself and hold myself accountable because I have these women on who are, yes, they are younger.
She is only 23, but she has a lot more maturity than a lot of the contestants that we've seen
who are much older. And so that's the beauty of being able to do this podcast and have amazing
guests like her on. So thank you guys all for hanging out and listening to us today. I know that
you had been asking for Serena P for a while. So thank you to Serena herself for stopping by to share
her story with us. And as always, guys, keep writing to us and letting us know your thoughts,
any comments, questions, whatever you want. Please send it our way. You can find us at Bachelor
Happy Hour on Instagram and at Batch Happy Hour on both Facebook and Twitter. And as always,
if you don't remember, I'm going to say it once more because it's always here. But if you never
want to miss an episode, please subscribe to our podcast. And you can do that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
the Wondery app, or wherever you are listening to us right now. Have a good night, guys.
Thank you.
It's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone, and there is help out there.
The Good Stuff podcast, Season 2, takes a deep look into One Tribe Foundation, a nonprofit fighting suicide in the veteran community.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick as they bring you to the front lines of One Tribe's mission.
One Tribe, save my life twice.
Welcome to Season 2 of the Good Stuff.
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If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.
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