Bachelor Happy Hour - Talking Hometowns with Bryan & Garrett

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

It’s bae day! Bryan Abasolo and Garrett Yrigoyen join Rachel and Becca in the studio to discuss Peter’s dramatic hometowns. Plus, they reveal how they would have handled the Victoria F. situation.Then, Bryan and Garrett recall their hometowns with Rachel and Becca and share some moments we didn’t see on the show.Be sure to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

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and into conversations with characters you'll never forget. I think any good romance, it gives me this feeling of, like, butterflies. I'm Danielle Robay, and this is bookmarked by Reese's Book Club. The new podcast from Hello Sunshine and IHeart Podcasts,

where we dive into the stories that shape us on the page and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TBR pile. Listen to bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.co-forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more. what's up everybody bachelor nation bachelor happy hour listeners welcome back to another episode we have a good one for you because i know you saw tonight's episode and becca i don't even know

where to start i mean we've never seen anything like it no this is very very new in bachelor territory i mean usually hometowns it's kind of the safe week it's it's easy it's standard this week was crazy. Crazy. I mean, Garrett and I were just gasping the entire time we're watching it. So we have much to dive into.

We have some very special guests. Because we needed help with this crazy episode. We needed help. And so we needed to bring in the main men in our lives to give a male perspective on everything that just went down. So we've got drum roll

Mr. Garrett and Brian. Yay! It's Bay Day. It's a double date. Our first double date. We need some clarity, some understanding. We need this male perspective.

So let's get into it. Becca. The collective sigh of the group. We got to talk about Victoria F. and her hometown because we haven't seen anything like it before. Never. And for the first time ever, Becca,

I have no words. I am silent. And thank God we have the men here who can just give us the male opinion because I am so interested in what they have to say. I am too. I mean, I will say I have a few choice words for everything that we saw, but I definitely want to get into Garrett and Brian's opinion

because men, I think, tend to look at things in a different light, a different perspective, but we saw a lot go down. And don't just talk about Victoria. I need to understand Peter from the male perspective because I'm not getting it. Same. So whoever wants to dive in, by all means, good luck. They don't even know where to start. Yeah, this was a tough one.

I just feel like she just doesn't know how to express her exact feelings. I feel like if she would have just told him, hey, listen, you know what? People are going to talk shit. It is what it is. Like, I can't do anything about it. I'm in love with you. Everybody has a past. Like, let's just move forward.

And at the same time, I don't know. I know you don't agree with me, but what if they would have gone in? Peter assesses a situation, goes in with the family. Yeah, I know that's a big deal. Well, it gets a feel for how she is with her family, all the love that comes from that, and then maybe talk about it afterwards, but I feel like that just ruined the night he left. I get it. You know, you don't want to meet the family and, you know, have this looming over his head.

But I just think she just doesn't communicate well. I think if she would have just been up front and honest and maybe divulge exactly what happened, you know, whatever Marissa was said talking about, you know, maybe given her side of the story, I think she would have been in a better spot. Like put yourself in this situation, Garrett, you've just been dancing on stage, off beat, because that's Peter. But Peter owns it. You've been dancing on stage, singing the song, you're having the time of your life. life. In the words of Peter, this is unreal. Peter's having, like, he's on cloud nine. The producers are like, hold on two seconds. Like, we want, we got something else for you. So your ex comes up, approaches you, and tells you something about this girl that you've just had the time of your life with. How do you, how would, how do you handle that?

Um, I think depending on how my relationship was with my ex and how truthful of a person she was, I would take that in a consideration and be like, what she's telling me, you know, is coming from a good place in her heart. So I'm going to have to approach that and ask Victoria F the right questions and then approach her and ask her, you know, like, what is this? I've heard about you, kind of explain yourself and then, you know, ask the right questions. And I don't know if he asked the... Peter didn't. Peter didn't ask the right questions. He took what Marissa said to heart and, of course, addressed it with Victoria, but he doesn't sit down and say, like, hey, like, what is she talking about? I don't need juicy details, even though I, as a viewer, want the juicy details.

But as Brian was saying, like, he didn't ask it and she didn't even bring it up. She just said, I'm done. And she just shuts down. And I don't even know. If you want my real opinion. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't even have had her make it to the hometown.

Yes, she would have made it as well. If she walked away, I know that I have, you know, two to three other great relationships going on. And if somebody's acting this way, it's. Huge red flags to me. It's totally off. I agree with Brian. I think she should or he should had gone in there, met the family and gotten a feel for that and maybe like dove in more with some questions and see how they react, see what they say about her and her past relationships. I agree with you. I mean, obviously, you know, your ex, you know, maybe she does have a good heart. Maybe she is coming from a good place, but at the same time she is your ex. Could there be

some type of jealousy on her part where she's just stirring the pot and now that has him all confused. I don't know. I just think he, I think he's done that a couple times this season where he just takes somebody's word for it, throws them all off, and then that, you know, messes up relations with other women. I think he should just, you know, take it at face value, you know, interact with these women and then, you know, let it, you know, leave all that hearsay to the side. I don't know. I mean, that's how I guess I would handle it. I don't think I would have been able to go and meet the family. If I was Peter, I would not have wanted, because family is such a big thing. that if he was questioning where he's at in that relationship,

family adds this whole new layer and just seriousness to the relationship that if he's already on the fence, like that, don't get that muddled. I think that would be too hard, especially when you have to go to the family now and put on a face and get all excited and talk about your dating history on the show and relive all these special moments. But in the back of your mind, you have this like nagging, But why do you have to put a face on? Why don't you just walk in there and tell them exactly what just happened?

Is he going to go meet Mr. Fuller and be like, hey, I just heard that your daughter breaks relationships. But like, let's talk about how great she is right now. No, but you talk about the season and how good it's been. But there's been some issues addressed or whatever and be like, you know, what are past relationships like? What is she like as a person? I think he should have the ability, like, the strength to compartmentalize and just be like, okay, I'm going to walk in there. Our relationship has been good. Like you said at the end there, he's like, I have, I'm very passionate about her.

You know, I want to keep her around, you know, with Kelsey as the other option, but... But their relationship hasn't been good. I think that's the thing. This is like a situation where it's like, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Peter's been fooled multiple, too many times to count when it comes to her. Yeah, and every time you see them interact together, every dinner that they have together, every moment she always gets up and walks away and cries and just leaves him and can't talk things through. And so it hasn't been a great relationship. He's attracted to her.

He feels that chemistry and that passion. And I think that's the only thing pulling him back. Is that something you think maybe that's what attracts him to her as far as Maybe a little crazy, maybe she's a little drama. Maybe she wants, oh, I want to change her. She's mysterious. You know, I can't figure her out. I want to see what's going.

But are you looking for a wife for a good time? I mean, do you really need The Bachelor to find a crazy chick? I mean, you can do that any day of the week. I think it's so frustrating because. you're watching this interaction, like, I just want to say, I'm over it. That's the title of this podcast. I'm fucking over it. In the words of a good friend, can we just send them all home and ship them to paradise? Like, I am so over this, the interactions and the way we're handling conflict and the way that Peter is navigating these relationships. It is so

frustrating because, especially in this episode, you're sitting here and you're watching Peter literally answer his own questions. He is saying you're bad at communication. You get up and run away. These problems continue to happen. The writing is on the wall and he won't read it. It's like I don't. That's why I'm like searching for the men.

Like what is it? Why can't Peter like have an opinion and stick to it? Why is he so easily swayed and manipulated by these women? To your point, I think he answers his own questions because he breaks the silence. So when he asks the question, she'll sit there and kind of look at him saying, I don't know. and then it's silent and then he answers it and be like you get up you walk away and he starts answering the question he just asked her and I'm like just sit there and wait for her to answer and make her use her words rather than be like I don't know and then he's like okay well let me tell

you yeah I have a question so not even this week but it it becomes much more apparent I think but even in their interactions in the past last week I kept saying like she's not that into him if you watch like she's always kind of trying to give him this out and some sort of like yeah, I like you, but I just don't know and I don't know what I want. And she uses all these excuses. I truly, truly think at the root of it is that she's really not that into him.

And she wants to be. She wants to put on this facade for the show because let's be honest, if she was like, yeah, no, I don't like him. Like she'd get much more backlash, I think. I mean, she's already going to. But for, like, as a man watching this, can you guys sense that?

Yeah. Yeah. And then I think she put it on him. Like, she feels that she's, he's trying harder than him, which, I mean, I don't know what, what relationship she's living in, but, I mean, obviously, Peter was shocked when she said that. She's like, what are you talking about? Like, have you not seen me trying? I kept you around this long. No, let's just call a spade of spade. She's made it to the top four. She's in running for the bachelorette. I think that

that's where she's like, peace out. Like, I'm good. I've made it as far as I need to come to be the Bachelorette. Well, let me tell you something, Victoria F. One, to be the Bachelorette, you have to be able to, like, have an opinion to form a sentence, to be able to make a declarative statement, to have a conversation, to answer

questions, to pull things out of people, and to be able to communicate. None of these things I've been able to see her do. The only time I've seen her form a sentence is when she's singing the lyrics to a country singer's song. Or going out of Leah. Who she dated? Can we

Can we just realize how good the song was that Hunter Hayes was singing, and it was very tellative of, was that the right word, tellative? I don't know. I'm like these girls making it my own words. Very telling of what is going to go down. The best part, though, I will say, is when Peter and Victoria are like behind the stage dancing, and he's singing the lyrics, and he goes, I don't want crazy. And she's like, are you sure?

And she, like, flips her head. I'm like, oh, God, we know something's going down. I guess I'm shocked that she's 26 I really thought that she was younger just the way that she handles this relationship but I just don't get the red flags all these red flags are waving in front of you I don't understand what you're trying to hold on to this relationship with Victoria when you have three other women as you pointed out Garrett that are into you that you don't have to struggle with you don't have to play hard to get with any like a lot of times I have as women and men you know you want something that you can't have you can't figure out yet it happens i think that's it i literally think that's what it boils down to is him like trying to search down and dig deep of to like how he can get her to almost like come out of her shell because i mean like the way we were watching it we felt like she was a runner right yeah she was just running she wasn't answering questions and i think he's just trying to like please throw me a bone here like give me something and i will say and and this is a prop to peter

just because this is a very difficult situation. When I was the Bachelorette, at least for my experience, I never wanted to say goodbye to somebody that I still had questions about because you say goodbye and you always have that like nagging wonder, like what if in the back of your head? And I think he's truly giving her all of these opportunities to like still keep her around to show him that like she really likes him. She is going to open up.

She's going to change, whatever it might be. And I just think he knows like, okay, if I were to send her home at, prior to any of this, he would have still had those what-ifs. He would have still wondered. But, like, at the end of the day, too, you can only allow someone to do what they're doing and treat you a certain way so many times.

If tears were words, Victoria F would win a Pulitzer Prize. You know, like, that's the only way that she knows how to communicate. I, let me ask the men this in the room. Were you shocked that Peter decided to, He let her come back into this hotel room. And can we all just pause and comment on the hotel room?

The hotel room. It was, I don't know, I don't know what's happened with the budget this year. But that was not okay. It's the local holiday in. It is, I'm a, I'm a hotel snob. That was not okay. But were you shocked, one, that he continued to have the conversation? Maybe this goes to what you're saying, Becca. You needed those to answer those questions.

So maybe that's why he let her into the room. I would have looked through the people and been like, not today. I don't need room service today. Not today. But were you shocked that he said he hasn't made up his mind yet and is going to let her continue on the journey? I wasn't shocked. I think it's because of not to be a dead horse, but I think it's just the same thing. Like he really wants her to come out of the shell and, like, I think he's just chasing it.

And he really didn't get an answer in that conversation. Exactly. So I think it's the same thing. Yeah. What would you have done? I told you what I would. She wouldn't have made it this far. We know.

Well, no. I know, I'm just saying, like, even if she did, and that was the case or whatever, like Rachel said, I would have looked through the people and be like, hell no. Yeah. But in that moment when Peter is sitting at her. But I still would open the door and then told her. We still have yet to address why this issue even came about, the things that Marissa had said. Like, in that entire conversation when they're sitting there together, none of that was still brought up, which is the real reason they got into this in the first place. And so, of course, he's still, I'm sure if he's going to keep around, he's going to still wonder about that.

I would have DeMarioed her. Get the fuck out. Like, yeah. I mean, or be a little bit more direct. It's so disrespectful to Peter and even to the other women who are left. And I'm not even a fan of the, you know, the ladies this season. But it is. It's just so disrespectful to the process.

And I get so because I'm looking around this room and it worked for us. And so I get very protective of how people navigate this because it was so real to us. And I guess I'm frustrated. on Peter's part because if you're saying that you want a wife and you say that you want these qualities and you look at your parents who have set this beautiful example for you of love and you see what it takes to make a relationship work, why the hell are you chasing after Victoria? She has not embodied any of the qualities that you say that you want in a wife. And I think that is what is so frustrating to watch.

What do you want? Do you want a relationship? Do you want the chase? Do you want a girlfriend? Or do you want somebody who's for forever? And that's what we've been asking for weeks now. I feel like every week, I'm like, what do you want, Peter? What do you want?

And I feel like in the past, it was, I was questioning him because he seems so wishy-washy, you know, did he want to keep a layer around? Did he believe Victoria P? Like, all these other things that leading up to it seemed big. But now that we have this elephant in the room, this seems huge. And it's, yeah, you're still questioning, like, what do you want? At this point, this is end game. Like, you are going into the fantasy suites. You only have two weeks left basically after this.

Like, you have a huge decision to make. So you've got to figure it out. You know what's crazy? We've been talking about, and we, I mean, I guess we've kind of talked about Peter a little bit on the podcast too, but we've been talking about these women and how, you know, they're just a lot and they're so dramatic. But we really have to start talking about Peter and his decision making at this point. We've touched on it, but now Peter is a bit of the problem. Victoria F shouldn't be here and maybe some. mothers as well. But I'm just going to focus on her at the moment because she's the problematic

one. At this point, I don't know if Peter knows what he wants out of a relationship, which is so sad because this beginning of this season, we're like, Peter's going to find love. He's ready for it. He deserves it. This is what's missing in his life. But maybe he's been single for a reason at this point of his life this far because he just doesn't know what he wants. Well, I think back to his relationship with Hannah, Hannah B, because that's where, obviously, we first saw him on her season. And he fell so hard for her. But Hannah, Hannah said it like it was. She would call people out when she needed to. She knew what she wanted. Well, obviously that didn't work out. But it felt like she was much more assertive. And I'm not getting that with this group right now. And so again, like I'm confused of,

do you want someone that's more independent and strong will like that? Or do you want somebody that you can kind of take care of and be the savior for and yeah i don't think he truly knows i think he wouldn't what he has said what he has said is that he wants somebody to love him exactly how much love he put out for example with aunt hannah b you know i mean and it's just it just seems like this woman isn't ready victoria fuller i'm talking about she's not ready to pour out those feelings like i don't know if it's something that happened in her past that she's quote unquote like a runner and just doesn't really give you all the answers but I think he's just searching for that

answer and I mean yeah I think he could directly ask a little bit better like hey look you know this is what was told to me this is where you actually just give me a quick little explanation you tell me how much you're in love with me

and you know maybe we can move on you know because what we have I feel is good but I guess like it's just like I just don't know if he's asking the right questions and like you know how she's a runner and he preaches like he wants family and all that loyalty and it's like do you want a wife when something gets tough to just run all the family? Yeah, exactly.

It's like, she's just giving off red flags like crazy. Well, and he said that in the conversation, he's like, if it's like this now, what is it going to be like when we're married? And he's already questioning it. And I think he, I think truly deep down Peter knows that her relationship with him is not right. Yeah. I think he knows.

I think it's just making that a sort of decision making and standing by it. that he's struggling with. I think he's just really nice. He is too nice. Too nice. And you know what I'm starting to realize? Hannah B would have run all over him, forward, backwards, zigzag, hopscotch, two-stepped, all over him.

Windmilled all around him. Yeah. I think that he loves the idea of that type of woman because that's who his mom is. But when you look at the four women that are left, they are not Barb. And I just keep asking myself, what would Barb do in this situation? Well, no, that's why I'm thinking there's no way, Victoria. F can go on any further because if for some

reason in an alternate universe Peter and Victoria F ended up together Barb is going to be watching this back and be like, mm-mm, this is not for my son. There's no way. So I think that that's why I'm just hoping it won't work.

I do want to say one thing and I know Victoria F is going to probably get a lot of shit, a lot. Like this week is going to be very tough for her. I will say I do wish she addressed this issue more and just said, look, like, I'm a human. I've made mistakes in the past. We all have. Yes, did I screw up and maybe ruin some relationships? Whatever it might be. Whatever the true story is, she just needs to address it and be like, but we all have. And I'm willing to fight for you and make this relationship work. That's all she had to do. But again, people, we all make mistakes. Keep in mind, like, we've all had relationships that haven't worked out for certain reasons. So if you're listening on social media, take it a little easy. easy, okay? Because it's not going to be easy on her or Peter. Yeah, yeah. We're just podcasting our

opinions, okay? But we're not going to go tweet or social media troll her. But if you are a PR company, reach out to her because she's going to need your help in forming a statement, you know, and how to address this. And how to make a statement. Yeah, other than I don't know. Yeah, and tears. Is Barb going to be a women tell all because I need to be sitting right next to her. I need to be sitting right next to my girl, Barb. Okay. I want to be there so bad. You'll be there in spirit. I'll face time you, I'll FaceTime you, Becca, if you want to be there. Thank you.

I'll be the only one who gets to keep my phone. Okay, so we see the rose ceremony happen at this point, and no surprise here. We've got Victoria F., Hannah Ann, Madison. That's who's left. Kelsey goes home. I think we kind of saw that one coming based on the hometown episode. But the real surprise here is that Madison looks so distraught after Peter gives her a rose. She knows she's going to Fantasy Suites at this point.

And he tells her that she's going to the... Golden Coast. I mean, Australia, for goodness sake, people. And Madison looks upset, confused. I mean, any adjective except for happy and thrilled. So we see her pull him to the side and says that she wants to talk to him. And that's where the episode just cuts off. So I'm sure you're like all of us at this point where you're like, Madison, I'm sorry, why are we waiting until the 13th hour to tell him this information that you've been holding since the day you met him? If Madison does give Peter an ultimatum, which it appears that she does from the previews. How is she any different from Luke P in Hannah's season?

Where's the lie? I'll wait. I mean, do hometowns bring up, like, memories for you guys, the good ones, bad ones? Brian, I know we had some, it wasn't all smooth sailing at our hometown. Yeah, no, definitely some issues there. But can I just say, Brian is, like, this is why we're such a good balance. He is so optimistic. He is so positive. I remember he walked out of our hometowns and he was like, I thought that went great. And I was like, fuming at my family. I was just like, if that's what you took from it, I'm so glad because I still want you to be here. But my family was just like, like, why can't I find the word for this? They were just like on you with questions after questions, just like really put him through the ringer. I guess I felt like I handled it well. You did handle it. You did. He did. No, no, no, you. did. You handled it so. I even was telling you that.

Like, he did so well. But they were just asking him. I loved watching you and you were like, look, people. I was like, let me tell you something. My brother-in-law started talking. I was like, I'm sorry. Who are you? Like, that's what I was thinking of. And I love him. Because he was the one who's like, oh, she's really into Brian because she took up

for Brian and not the other people. But at the same time, I was like, in-law. I'm sorry. Not the person to be talking. But how was it for you, Garrett? It was smooth sailing. Everything I pretty much wanted to show her about my hometown as you know it got portrayed my family's in agriculture so got to do like a little tractor date um she got to go to like the heart of man tico which is super

small and they got like half the city to go there so there was about 13,000 people and then uh i don't know it was fun i i mean i never really had i think through all the hometowns i never had a bad one it was always my family was excited they his family was just like my family we walked in and just the like abundance of love and and just fun openness like hit me and he was my last hometown and so I was like oh yeah I've had three other great ones like this one we'll see what you know it was the last one and I so I didn't really like put much stock into it no offense not and that's not a bad not much stock but I get what you mean as the lead I understand by the time you can do the last one I love you so much were you like nervous were you really nervous going into his hometown just

because you knew how you felt about him? He was probably the one I was least nervous for just because I felt like I had known him longer and the way he had always talked about his family seemed just like him and just like my family. And so I just went in like, oh, we're going to have a great time. And we did. It was amazing.

Like, it was so much fun. This one was sweating bullets. So Brian was my first and I knew how I felt about Brian. So I really went in thinking if this has to go well because I could potentially be meeting my in-laws. Like, that was my thought, and I was so nervous walking in. And then the week before, he had told me that his mom and his girlfriend before really didn't have the best relationship. So I was nervous.

I just really wanted her to like me. And when we walked in, Brian, like, we walk in, his mom, like, immediately beelines to him and she's excited. And Brian takes both of us, and he puts his arm around both of us. And so that was very comforting to me. And even his mom talks about it to this day. She's like, okay, I loved that. he did that. It made me know where he stands with her.

And then later she was like, I'll kill you. If you hurt him. Yeah, well, it wasn't that she said at the end, and he were like, wait, what did she just say? Was it, I'll kill you? She said, if you love him, then I love you. If you hurts him, I'll kill you. Yeah.

And it's like a Spanish term. And I laughed. Like, I thought it was funny. I knew what she was saying. You know, it's, she gave great advice when you marry. When you marry him, you marry into the family and just like a closeness that we should all have with one another. And I'm very close with my family, so I got it. Yeah, I think that saying in Spanish, like, Te matto is like very commonly used.

Like, you know, her sister forgets her glasses at the house. Oh, my God, de matto. How could you like? He's going to start saying that every time I annoy him now. But in English, obviously, it sounds worse. It sounds a little worse. Or when producers preview it for an entire week and in bold red letters, it's I'll kill you. And his mom's in HR.

She was mortified. She thought she was going to lose her job. I'm curious, though, for you guys, who were you? Because, like, I say hometowns because Brian came to Dallas to meet my family. So you met Becca's family in the Maldives. Okay, yeah. So I'm, like, counting that as a hometown too. Okay, right.

But who were you most nervous to talk to, Garrett and Brian, when it came to meeting Garrett, you, Becca's family, and then Brian, my family. Well, for me, obviously, it was the judge. The judge. The judge. All Sam. It was like, I've never been on TV before. It was like the man, the myth, the legend type situation.

It was crazy because I actually went third when I met her family and both guys came back with totally differing opinions. Oh, really? I remember Peter came back. He was like, he was really intimidating. He barely talked to me. Like, literally got to talk to him five minutes. I was like, okay, it's going to be tough. And then Eric comes back.

Like, no, he was cool. He warmed up to me. We talked for a while. You know, we got along great. Eric is so positive. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he is. Then I was like, okay, which dad am I going to get?

But my dad did like Eric. Did he? Yeah. So, he said someone was off with Peter. I mean, it was, he was a straight shooter. I mean, not going to lie. He asked the questions he needed to ask. I answered them and, you know, I think at the end of the day, we respected each other for it.

Yeah, no, totally. My dad did not have any issues with Brian. Yeah. He said I talked a lot. He said he talked a lot. And he said he talked a lot, but he just was like, no, and I didn't say yes to any of them. Yeah. What about you, Garrett?

She told me her Uncle Chuck would just be fired on the question. Oh, Uncle Chuck. I love him. I do. Okay, Uncle Chuck, he just has the sweet, all of my uncles, because my dad obviously passed away. So my uncles were at my hometown during the Bachelor season, and then, yeah, Garrett was able to meet one of them in the Maldives. Yeah, Uncle Chuck, and then it was fun meeting her mom. I wasn't too nervous to meet her mom.

Her mom just always seemed like a sweetheart, you know, and she said my mom's, you know. And she said, my mom's, you know, really sweet, easy going. And she's like, but my uncle Chuck is going to hammer you as questions. I was like, well, what questions is he going to ask? Which is why? Okay, so I saw my family a little bit before that. And my uncle Chuck and my auntie Ann, they were, they were the ones originally who when I first was like going on to be the, going on the bachelor, they're like, do it. Like, it'll be such a great experience.

Why not? They were so gung-ho. And then they came on the show, and they started interrogating these guys. I was like, oh my gosh, my uncle Chuck, like, drilled me hard one day before he met the guys. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I would be nervous to be the guys right now. But he came from a place of love. And I think it went well, him and my sister hit it off.

Like, they knew each other for years. Yeah, she was, yeah, it was easy talking to her sister for sure. It was like talking to my brother back home. Yeah, for me, it was the opposite. I think Constance was the toughest on me. She was. But my cousin, who was my best friend, she said that when we walked through the door, before we had walked into meet the family

she heard me laugh and she was like I knew immediately that that was the guy for you and I'm like okay she would know probably better than anyone yeah so like that was comforting to me she was like I haven't heard you laugh like that in years and I'm like I don't even

remember that moment but she did oh how special yeah no no no can we get that audio back before if you could go back and do anything differently like the whole season not just hometowns is there anything I know what you

you would say. I'm very curious, Ryan, but Garrett, would you do anything differently? I would say I would have brought her to Reno where I'd lived the past 10 years to show her where I was currently living and show her, like, why I lived there and what I love, you know. Like, it was cool bringing her back to, like, where I grew up and where my family was at, but it would have been nice to have her, like, come to where I was at and why I enjoyed living there so much. I would love to see Reno. I feel like the only thing I know about Reno is sister act. Oh, that's all I knew. When I thought of Reno, I thought of

Sister Act too. Yeah. Sister Mary Clarence. Yeah. But you need to go. It's beautiful. Okay. It's much prettier than I expected. But other than that, no. It was all the everything I wouldn't I would have done the same. Yeah. Well, he was good too because he

I think he'd never really watched the show. So he just was very go with the flow like, oh, what are we doing this week? And he was the one who kind of not was more reserved, but held back his feelings until he knew he really felt them, which I appreciated because it's- I was throwing off because I was like, how do all these guys? Like, what do you mean? You're like, you know, you have all these guys in the house, right? And we've all experienced it. And it's like, these guys would get so fired up. And I'm like, we've been in the house for three days. There's 23 of us in here. Like, fired up in what

way? Like, they're pissed. They're like, can you believe she kissed, she kissed so-and-so? I was like, dude, do you know what show you're on? I was like, what are you talking about? You're going to let that get to you? I was like, what's going to happen when there's like five of you left? And then I was like, oh, my God. Gero was the one who would, like, sit back and just laugh and the guys would start to lose their minds. I just literally watch guys losing minds.

It was like, oh, my God. She kissed me and now she kissed somebody the next day. It's like, duh. The only time I would be not rattled, but the only time where I'd be like, damn, she needs to like, it was when she'd wear red lipstick and then she would come and like her lips would be in her chin. I'm like, from all the guys scrub and I'm like, wow. Okay, I learned my lesson. Okay, it was like, coming in for a kiss.

I'm like, oh, my God, lipstick. I said, I'm never wearing bright red lipstick again. Holy hell. Talk about compartmentalizing. I had to do that a lot with that. I was like, she was just having a hard makeout session. Her face is all red. Then it's like, hey, yeah, let's make out.

It's great. It's mouthwash. Let me get you some like baby wipes or something. Yeah, let's get some baby wipes. Can you do some squat so you. Can you do some squat so. get the blood out of your face into your legs or something? It's like, wow. I mean, I definitely wouldn't, wouldn't have changed anything. I mean, obviously it led me to you. But, I mean,

if there was one thing, I would definitely, obviously, Ellen. I knew it. I knew it. Shall we remind everybody what? Let me, let me paint the scenario. You know, we're going on Ellen and, you know, we're riding the bus, drinking. I guess you were allowed to drink heavily back then. Yeah, y'all were lit by the time y'all got to. We were lit getting there, and we were in the green room, and all of a sudden our producer comes in and hands each one of us bright neon underwear. Ellen underwear, like, boxer briefs. So we're thinking, obviously, on going to the day, we're like, okay, we're definitely going to have to dance in some capacity because that's what they do on Ellen. So he hands this like, all right, guys, put these on.

So, of course, we're all looking at each other's like, wow, we are going to be getting butt naked on stage in front of the. of L in front of the audience, front of America, like, where's the, where are the drinks? Well, I walked in and gave y'all shots. She walked in, so I literally, in a span, I think of like 10 minutes, we down like four fireball shots. So we were all just. I would have been napping up on stage after this. Yeah, no, we were, we were lit and I just got ahead of myself and, you know.

So what happened was? Yeah, what happened? Because I, here it's like, what happened? So Ellen's standing up there. She's like, oh, these are the guys on the date. And I think there were six people. And so she's asking questions. And so she says, has anyone kissed Rachel?

And Will says, yes, I've kissed her. And raise your hand if you've kissed her. And so, like, the guys didn't know. So they're kind of like, oh, everybody, but like a couple of people. I said it first. I think I said she's a great kisser. Yeah. But I literally like grabbed the mic from Ellen.

And he's like, she's a good. great kisser. And then Ellen's like, okay, that one kisses and tells. And then Will, and then Will goes, I second that. And then Brian goes, he had my sloppy seconds. And people were like, and I, Ellen was like, yeah, you shouldn't have said that. She turned to me. She turned to me and she goes, I don't like that one. Like off mic, she goes, don't pick him. She still hates me too. But he's out of a fireball. And I know what Brian was trying to say, but I was like, you have to realize in that moment

you were calling me the sloppy seconds and I was like and people were not okay with it and so like my sister had seen that before so that's why she came into hometowns

with these preconceived notions about Brian and so it just was not good yeah and obviously it was like in no way like what did I mean that towards you was kind of more like

you know the alpha coming out and we were all drunk as hell and it was like just me competing like Will who's my boy TV does weird things too Can I tell you about an unseen moment? I don't even know if I've ever said this on Mike.

So then later that night, we're having the cocktail party. Or maybe it was a couple of days later. Brian, when he meets me to have a conversation, has a present for me. This did not air. And so, like, I come out the door and he's, like, leaned up against the side of the wall, like, all Rico Suave. And he hands me this present. I'm like, oh, my gosh, what is it? And I open the present?

it's the Ellen underwear that he wore and he had sprayed his cologne in the underwear That's what I'm talking about Please tell me you still have it I still wear them I still have them Okay you all might think that's a very cheesy

Possibly slightly douchy move However did you wear them that night I wore them that night I thought it was hilarious But seeing how people perceived Brian And after that day I'm so glad that didn't air because it just would have been so cheesy. It's like this guy.

But it was funny. I couldn't stop laughing at that. Like I was like, this is so extra, but I love it. The cologne move is the way to go. I did that with the present for her. I was like,

I got to squirt alone. It's so good. Smell is the, the sense that, you know, you remember the most. Okay, so I think Rage and I have talked about how night one,

we obviously like were very into you guys. Like, we knew. When was the. moment, though, rage, where you were like snapped, you were like, Brian's the one. So I always, I mean, both of you guys got the first

impression row. So we obviously were impressed and saw something in the beginning. I think it just says that we're very smart. No, 100%. Like, very perceptive. Cut straight to it. Like, we don't have time to play games. Basically, we're not Peter. The mini van was dope. The minivan was dope.

Yeah, it was. When we were watching it, we were like, oh, that was amazing. That was one of the best. It was No interest I've ever seen. Oh, thank you. Seriously. But with Brian, I always knew I was super into him, but he was so smooth and charming that I was afraid of like, I was like, is he who he says he is?

And so for me, and we both talk about this, it was Geneva. There was something, and like, do you guys feel this? There's something about those second dates that tell everything because you get below the surface, you kind of see more of a personality. So that second date that Brian and I had, to me was just magical and it was the nighttime portion where I had questions that I needed answered and I didn't even have to ask he was already telling me I needed to know why are you still single have you had a serious relationship what is your family like and he answered all those

questions and it was just the sincerity behind everything that he was saying I was like he is who he says he is I just got to meet the family and at hometowns before I met the family I actually pulled his producer to the side and I was like he's the one. And I, because we had like, drinking and dancing. And she was like,

what did you say? And I was like, nothing. Nothing I'm drunk. I can just, and I like ran into the bathroom. He never heard me say that, but I told his producer.

I didn't even told my producer. It was just like word vomit. Right. But I meant it because it was just having such like a great time. Geneva was everything. So all that to answer your question, week seven.

Okay. Right before hometown. Okay. For me, it was the same Geneva. Mm-hmm. I mean, I, as far as I was convinced with her, like, as far as the foundation of what, you know, her makeup is, I mean, it was everything I wanted, you know, in my future. So I was pretty much convinced at that point on her, but, you know, obviously want her to pass a family test and she did it with flying colors.

His mom slid a note to him. This didn't air either. But we were at the table eating and his mom, like, wrote, like, is it true? Is this real, you know, like, check yes or no or something? See or no. And, like, slid it under the table. And they were like, Olga. She, like, ripped it up.

It's like she's in school. Like, don't. That's awesome. But it's funny that you asked out because, like, as far as answer, like, you got my, like, all your questions questions answered. And it's like going back to Victoria F, it's like you had a second chance to answer his questions and you still couldn't do it. So it's like, ultimate red flag. I digress. Go ahead.

No. So, well, and going back. to hometowns, I think it's such a pivotal week for people. I mean, it's always interesting because usually in seasons past, it's always been a pretty tame week. It's very standard. You meet the four families. You always have the one dad who's, you know, kind of hesitant and won't give the blessing. You have the mom who cries and just wants you to find love. It's pretty standard. This one is very different. But I think for Garrett and I personally, that's hometowns week was when I realized I loved him. And I didn't even think it was going to hit me. It was after I met his family. I was sitting in the airport about to fly. So I was with my producers. And I just started sobbing into my breakfast. I was like, oh my gosh. I had this breakfast burrito. And I just started crying. And they're like, what is going on? I was like, oh my gosh, I think I love him. And I did not expect it. I just, because his hometown was last. I was like, you know, I've had three great ones. Like, we'll see what happens. And it hit me. And I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

When it clicked for you, I mean, you told me in the Bahamas that you were falling for me. But I don't know if you guys felt, I'm sure you did with your family. But even when I was sitting with Garrett's parents, because he had been married before and he had been divorced. And that was his main narrative throughout the entire season was us talking about it, which I honestly forgot that. Oh, my God. Totally didn't even. Like that honestly, it's not what people remember. Because I was like, he was.

And I felt like that's all they would show is of our. conversation was only talking about his past relationship and his divorce. And so when we went to hometowns, I just really wanted to get to know his family and talk to them. I finally got to the point when I think I talked to his dad last. And we kept bringing up the divorce. I'm like, I don't want to talk about that. He's answered it. His family has answered it. I think he's ready. And I felt like this defense mechanism. I was just like, I'm not doing it. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. And I kind of snapped. And I don't think they had ever really gotten that before for me. Yeah, girl. That's when you knew. That's what I knew. I was like,

Dang, yeah. It was that moment. I don't think I ever even told you that. I don't know. Break news. No, the funny part was I was just thinking of the unseen moment that you guys were talking about because you know how you were saying, you know, it was real easy because Brian was answering all those questions or whatever. For me, that happened our very first group date before our first one-on-one. They were like, hey, why don't you get, you know, we're just like getting to know each other. And then it's like, hey, why don't we just like switch it up a little bit? talk about past relationships.

So I fired it up and I went right into it. I was like, she's like, tell me about your serious relationships. I was like, oh, you know,

I was off and on in high school, but it's high school. I was like, but in college, you know, I had one or two serious girlfriends

and then after that, and then I went straight into the marriage. I was like, right when I graduated, you know, I met this girl. I was coaching baseball.

And then they were like, whoa, whoa, and she's just sitting there like this, like, no, no, this is how it went down. You were honest? You were married.

You were two in the morning all day. Garrett was one of the last guys I was going to talk to, and they knew I was really into him. And so they, like, pulled us down by the pool and set up this, like, sexy. It felt very cruel intentions, like, very sexy in the corner. And so we're talking, we're like having small talk at first, you know, talking about the date, how much fun we had. And then they were like, why don't you talk about something more serious? And so I was like, tell me about your past relationships. And all of a sudden, he looks at me. He's like, yeah, you know, I dated a little bit in college, but I was also married and then

got divorced. And then right away they came in, they're like, okay, you guys have to go. And I was like no, I was like, and then in my mind, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is sabotaged because they knew I was in him. I gave him my first impression rose. And he was married and divorced. And so it was the most awkward moment.

I like wanted to cry. I was so. So you didn't get to you didn't get to excited. Oh, no. And so we had to walk out. So the only redeeming part of this entire conversation is that as we were walking out, I was wearing heels and I tripped off the curb and Garrett like I almost face planted and Garrett grabbed me and pulled me up and then we had this like special moment we were laughing

and then we kind of danced under the street lights and that was the only moment but I was like oh my gosh like and then I'm thinking all the worst like was he planted just like screw with me because I really like him but he's the first guy I ever wrote about in my journal I gave him my rose and now it was and so luckily the next day I was like I need to I need to have a date with this guy and talk about it because I got to get to the bottom of this but I'm scared of first but to answer your guys's question not to Victoria F you or anything like that when I knew was I was falling in love with her in the Bahamas I told her but I really wanted her to meet my family and interact because they are such a huge part of my life and I knew I was like it's going to go

well with them or whatever and it went and then they hit it off right away and I could tell like right through the door like the energy and everything and she had great conversation with My brother, my sister, my mom, and my dad were, like, the foremost important people. You can just feel the love. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, man, I love this girl. And then, but then it sealed the deal when I met her family in the Maldives. It was, I think, the first time he cried was with Uncle Chuck.

I remember. No, I don't even know what happened. I was like, dude, they must have slipped some sort of like thing. It was like, they were talking. I wasn't even like anything that emotional in the beginning. And I was like tearing up. And I was like, what is going on? You were probably taught.

It's everything. Like, your tires, your emotions are all. But it was because my uncle Chuck brought up my dad. And then you guys started crying about my dad. Oh, yeah. The dad thing hit me hard because I was like, it would be difficult to go through it. I don't know. I've had both my parents.

I'm like, it'd be difficult to go through something like this and want advice from your parent of the opposite sex. I feel like, at least for me. So I was like, that'd be tough to do. I thought it was endearing. Like, I remember. See, these are the things we remember. I don't remember the divorce thing. I distinctly remember you crying in there.

And I remember being like, whoa, whoa. And I think that's when we saw a different side of him. And I typically do this when I'm watching. You didn't cry when you were talking to my family. I cried. I cried. Where were your tears? It was like a Hallmark movie for me or something.

They turned a Hallmark. I don't even do that. She has to watch Hallmark movies. I'm like, why am I even tearing up right now? Oh, God, I cannot get through a Hallmark movie with a dry eye. Oh, they're ridiculous. I want to know. So usually the last, the last date, when you have the two final guys, they'll give you a gift.

Brian, did you give something to Rachel? I did. I gave her a couple gifts. Yeah, he did. But the one I remember the most. The underwear was the first one. I love that. No, but I gave her a domino box because we actually went to play dominoes on 8th Street.

So there's a, it's called Domino Park. It was very famous. All the old gentlemen are always playing there. They're really good. They kicked our ass. We should play together sometime. Do you all play dominoes? We play Mexican train dominoes.

I said domino's box, I thought of pizza. No. I was like, damn, what did you put in there? No, this is actual favorite pizza is like, that's a genius. That would love that. This was an actual domino box. So it was her own unique set. But when you opened it up, it had actually all the pictures of all our interactions.

So, you know, our first date, our Geneva date, second date. That's cute. I love that. Just little moments that were special to us. Yeah. I still have it. Well, you guys, this was so fun having our little lovebugs in the studio. We're going to have to do it again.

I feel like we just touched the surface. We have games to play in the future. Yeah. This was our double date. This was our first double date. And we did it on our podcast with everybody listening. I think it was a success. I agree.

Yeah. Are you guys going to come back? Are you scared now? No, we'll come back. They got real comfortable. They're like sitting back in their chairs. They're like, yeah, we'll come back. No, thank you guys so much for being here.

We'll bring them back again. Becca, we'll do this again. That puts an end on hometowns, which was, I'm done. I'm shook. I'm done. I'm a little nervous going into next week because I really have no idea what to expect. You know exactly what to expect. Peter can't make a decision. The girls give him a runaround. There'll be tears, no conversations. Everyone gets a rose. That's what's going to happen. Peter should be Oprah right now. Because that's what it feels like. Well, we already summed up and recapped week nine. You're welcome, you guys. No, but thank you guys so much. for tuning in. We love, of course, talking all things Bachelor, even when it confuses and frustrates

the hell out of us. So make sure you come back next week because we'll have another great episode for you. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy, which is more effortful to use. unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier.

Denials is easier. Complex problem solving. Takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jamel Hill, host of the Sports and Politics Podcasts, Spolitics. And on the latest episode of Spolitics,

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