Bachelor Happy Hour - ‘The Bachelorette’s’ Ivan Stops By

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

He’s one of the final three men competing for Tayshia’s heart on “The Bachelorette,” and now Ivan is in the hot seat with Rachel and Becca. Ivan shares the details on his immediate connection to Tayshia and why it was so important for him to open up while on the show.   Plus, Rachel and Becca discuss Hometowns, and Rachel explains why Ben reminds her of her ex, Peter Kraus. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome back to another week of happy hour with the two of us. And Rachel, this week, I have to say, it finally, finally, finally felt like a real typical Bachelor episode with a start and a finish. For once, this is what we have been asking for. And so in that regard, I am thrilled. And it was cute.

It was your typical hometown dates. I want to get into it because we have an incredible guest joining us today. Probably one of the most requested men that we've had that we've seen this season that we're going to have on. And that is Mr. Ivan himself. And I've been dying to talk to him since that one-on-one date that he had with Tasha. So I can't wait to have him on to pick his brain to talk about his family and the incredible impact that he has made so far on. this season and in, I would say, Bachelor franchise as a whole. Yeah. I mean, I couldn't agree with you more. It's interesting. I didn't even think about the fact that we had a traditional episode

from start to finish until you just said that. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. You're right. And we're finally there. Right. And, you know, hometown week is usually not eventful. Do you know what I mean? Like, right. You have your few exceptions, like on my season. meeting Dean's family and his and like he didn't have the traditional family and there've been so many issues you know after the death of his mother that he's been trying to deal with and there was just a lot there and you probably will never see a hometown like that again so this was what i expected it to be straightforward not for us it's for tasha it's a chance for tasha to get to know these men on another level to better understand where she wants to move forward in this journey and also for the

and Lisa gets no Tatia. Who was your favorite hometown? My favorite hometown, well, I'm going to give you two parts because what I found interesting for this was like they obviously could not leave the resort. So the men had to bring hometowns to Lakeinta, which is that in itself is interesting. And also like I could have probably done without that part. I would have rather had and just putting myself back in the contestant shoes, like brother had just a full day with the family as opposed to like trying to recreate this fake

city hometown vibe at this hottest balls resort if I will say that um so I guess like when I say two parts my favorite like actually I shouldn't even split it up it was just Ivan I was trying to think I was about to say Zach's like cheesy funny New York day just because I love cheesy but, like, actually, if I was Tasia, I probably would have loved Ivan's date from start to finish the best. And you're laughing at me right now, and I know probably what you're going to say. Why? Why are you think, why do you think I'm laughing?

Are you laughing at the cheesy New York date? Yes, because it was at that moment when I saw the taxi cabs that I said, or cab, I said, you know what this is the first time i feel sorry that tachia's doing her entire season at at looking at i never have i've been appreciating the depth in the conversations i've been appreciating the fact that there aren't distractions that these dates have been very real life and she can get a better feel of what it is to be with these men and once the bubble is gone but i thought my god when they picked up that box car and took 50 feet except 50 feet over to the bankless dance

I said oh my god I feel so sorry for Tasia but you gotta love Zach's enthusiasm when Hailing a cow He had to! He had to! I mean it was it was cute I said shout out to the producers

were really trying to make something out of nothing but I felt so bad for her. There is something special about because behind the scenes you guys, behind the scenes talk what's so great is when you're the lead you're the one planning the dates and announcing the dates and leading the person to where they go and what's next.

You know what's ahead before they do. But when it comes to hometowns, the lead is in the dark. And the lead really gets to follow what that person is doing because they're showing you their hometown, their family, how they navigate their life away from the cameras. So it's a really special moment. And Tasha didn't get that with these men because they were still at Likita. Tatia's like, I can see my room from. over there while I'm holding up this box taxi.

She was definitely robbed of the experience. And I think when I was on hometowns, one of my favorite parts was, again, behind the scenes, but like when we would just be driving in the car going from place to place and you can be with that person and they can point out, oh, that's my schooler. That's where I used to go grocery shopping. That's where this happened. And to see those little special moments, really get a feel for who somebody is and how they grew up as special.

And she was robbed of it. And that's why I say, like, I wish you would have just had the full day to spend with the families to, like, really be able to interact, like, fully with them. I hope they step up the game. I don't want to see it. Yeah. I will agree with you, though. My favorite hometown was Ivan's, um, from his parents to the, well, the cooking to the parents, to the brother, to Ivan's reaction. I just loved it all.

A close second, though, are the Clarks, because that's what Zach C kept saying. He constantly referred to his family as The Clarks. Tasha's meeting The Clarks. And I liked it. Yeah, yes. I mean, I'm just, I just love people, so I love, like, seeing, it's so different

when the contestants are actually in front of their brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and parents. And so that's special to see. Yeah, like, nothing major, major stood out, really in, like, any of the conversations to me. It was, again, your standard. like getting to know the family.

We do start to see a little foreshadowing, I feel like, though, with some of the guys. Like, I noticed right away with Brendan, he's very in his head. And he makes multiple comments about, like, I don't know if I'm quite there yet, writing to propose. Like, I don't know if I want to do this again. And it's interesting because I watched then Tisha with him and see her body language and how she interacts. And, like, she is so into him. Did you notice that? Like, I haven't, you know, everyone wants to talk about Zach C.

I see Brendan. She is, everything, from her body language to how her face lights up, she is enamored with Brendan. Good word. That's exactly what it is. And I think, like, thank God his hometown was first to kind of like get it out of the way because I feel like if it would have been the last one, that's all people would have been fixated on, I think.

Yeah. I have an issue with. Brendan's, that type of person that's on the show. I am over. Let's get into it, Rachel. I am over the person who gets to this point and is like, I'm not ready. Like, I am so sick of that narrative. Why are you on the show?

We all know how this shit ends, right? Like, you know what happens in this show. So for you to pull out the car, taking the spot of a Riley who would have done anything to get a hometown. dare I say it even a Blake M, people who really wanted that spot. And here you are saying, bringing up things that you knew from the first date, right? You knew you were married. You before, you knew you had certain reservations. You knew that this was another level for you because you've gotten down on one knee and you don't

want to rush the process. Sir, why the hell are you on The Bachelor? It's all rushed. You know what I mean? Like, when I see people like that, I am quite. questioning you. I can't see Brendan any other way other than this is an opportunity for him. You aren't serious about this. You're wasting taseous time. It makes me think like, did you come on just wanting clout and some sort of fame? Or did you come on like truly being open and not thinking

you were going to potentially fall this hard and fast for somebody? But yeah, at the end of the day, like, hello newsflash to anyone signing up to be a contestant on the show. Like, the goal is to get engaged to the lead. And no excuse is enough. No, yeah, nothing is, nothing works. The fact that she's having a fantasy suite, you knew that was going to happen. The fact that you're surprised at how quickly you fell, that's always a possibility. There is no excuse for it.

You cannot change my mind than other than you got as far as you wanted to get and now you're using this as an excuse. It's been done before. Fellas, if you're coming on this show for Cloud, use a different excuse. There's other TV shows. There's other shows for that. We see it. Yeah.

I'm over it. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you think that our two favorite hometowns were the ones where the parents came? We didn't, Ben and Brendan, their parents didn't come. Do you think that that played into Tatia's decisions? Because I thought that was, I know COVID's happening and I know certain people have reservations. And I know my dad didn't show up on camera, but he still was there.

Right. Like, he was, he still met all the men. Mm-hmm. I just was like, I wonder how she feels about it. Because Ben explained it. I don't remember hearing from Brendan if he explained it. Yeah. And no, I don't remember hearing from Brennan either.

I think, I mean, maybe. And that, and at least for me, I would, I think, need to meet somebody's parents before potentially getting engaged. That's just, like, because, like, when you potentially marry somebody, you're marrying that family. And so they couldn't call or FaceTime. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping there's like parts that we missed. I'm not sure.

We've got to get into Ben though because very on brand with him this entire season. Ben's timing is so terrible. And so we see him not have his parents, but he has his sister, which he's talked at length about how she's the most important in his life. I get that. The family friend. Shout out to, what was her name? Antonio?

Antonio? Rachel, she's a great chef in L.A. Side note. She owns several, or is the head chef, several restaurants. But we got to go when restaurants open back up because I've ended two of them. And her food is impeccable. And she's a family friend of his? What's her restaurant?

Her restaurant, she has Scopa in Venice and my husband. She does Scopa? Mm-hmm. Oh, I love Scopa. But if you love Scopa, this other one that I went to, before things shut down, it's called Black Market Liquor Bar, and their food is, like, I had to be dragged out of there. I ordered way too much. Everything was incredible. So shout out to Antonia.

But yeah, I think, like, main takeaway with that, is that Ben, I have a real issue with the fact that he needed somebody else to tell him that he was in love. like I don't understand if you're like you are a grown man you are what 30 and and you couldn't come to that conclusion on your own it it was tough for me to watch him having to have a conversation with somebody else to be like honey you're in love and then he like has this like light bulb go off like this epiphany moment where I'm like what and then you don't even tell her he's because he wasn't in love that's why that's at least how I felt about it yeah and then we see him of course like not tell her and get too nervous by the emotion and the whirlwind that is going on in his head and his heart. And then poor Ben goes home. Yeah, I don't think he thought he was going

home. He did seem utterly shocked. When she was saying that she wanted more from him and she was surprised at the way it went, I think he couldn't grasp the fact that he was going home. He wasn't heartless or cold. He was in shock. That's how I felt about it. he thought he had more time for whatever reason to say whatever or maybe not i um i find it interesting because when we did have it on the podcast he would talk about how he was so thoughtful about every single thing he did but you couldn't be thoughtful about the love that you felt like you couldn't grasp that you couldn't or was that part of like was that calculated was that plan i just keep going back to the way that he was in the podcast so i'm shocked that this is how it ended for him

because it seems of such a stark contrast to the persona that was on the podcast versus how he was on the show. Something doesn't add up with him. As my father says, the ends don't match up. No, I agree. I don't believe him. That's what it is.

I don't believe you. Yeah, yeah. And that's like something with, like, out of the four remaining guys, he's obviously been the one that has always kind of been off in timing and emotions and, like, being able to verbalize. But like, if it's hard for me as a viewer, I can only imagine how hard it would have been Tasia. It would be like pulling teeth, trying to get any sort of like emotion or feeling or anything out of him. And I get it.

Like, rightfully so after watching all of this, like I understand why he was the one to not get the rose that night. He does just enough to stay by. He does just enough. He gives her. He reminds me. He reminds me of Peter Krauss in the same. sense that I'm saying this in the sense of he reminds me of him in the way that like he gives you just enough but if you really break down what he's saying it doesn't match up like something is

and so it's like you have like I don't believe you like I'm into you I like you I feel it but there's something that I can't explain that's not adding up here let me ask you this do you think how do I want to wear this? Just enough. You just enough to hang on. But do you think that's because he has this notion of being a potential bachelor one day in the background? Ben, 1,000% wants to be the bachelor. And that's why.

That's why I think he kind of knows how to play. Not that it's a game, but like kind of how to play it to give us enough, to open up just enough, but to not like fully commit to this relationship that you, you know, say you're in love. And I beg of, I beg producers, please don't do it. We've been here before with the person who is so desperate to be the lead. It never works out. When they want it so badly, when they've been planning for it, calculated, made certain moves to get to that point

and then you give it to them, it always bests up. There were so many great men from the Claire slash Tatia's season. Don't pick him. I don't want to see it. I stand by it. Yeah.

Well, and if, not that we've gotten into Matt James this season, but we know this whole narrative that he's never been in love. And we need somebody who, like, I want to lead kind of like Claire, who knows what she wants, who's not ready to settle.

who doesn't put up with any bullshit, doesn't beat her on the bus, she's straightforward and she goes for what she wants. And so that's what I wanted to see in my leads from here and out. Just putting it out there right now, please, and thank you, producers. Even Tasha,

wait, can I just say I want to give Tasha a big compliment in how she navigated these hometowns? I think it was Zach who talked about how at ease she was. She was so confident and warm with every family. She fit right in.

I just, that's not easy to do. So I just want to give kudos to her for how well she did. And I'm not, not that she had to try at it. She was a natural, but it was nice to see. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, she handled it beautifully.

It's, and I'm sure anyone who has been on the dating scene and has met a family at some point, it's nerve-wracking. And to do that four times in less than a week, it's not easy. And she, yes, she navigated it wonderfully. So kudos to you, Miss Tasha. And with that, as much as we can keep. going and talking. You know us. Once we start, we can't stop. But it is time to have on our amazing guests today because we have been waiting patiently to get him on all season. And I know

all of you listening have two. So we're super excited to be sitting down today with the one and only Ivan. Woo! Are you ready, Ivan? I'm ready. Okay. I always want to ask you guys if you're nervous to podcast with us. I'm very nervous right now. Wait, why? No, no, I'm fine, but it's like, back on the show, I got into a groove of, like, interviewing all the time, and I haven't done that

in three months now. So it's like, I'm sure I'll be fine here soon. Yeah. We're not going to, like, producer interview you, so don't worry. Yeah. We are the farthest thing from it. We'll probably say something we're not supposed to say. This is, like, a conversation between friends, which is why we're like, if you want

to grab a drink, I'm not sure if you drink if you want to light oh wait we're in californ i was like if you want to light it up i don't have the wine ready okay perfect take a sip sit back enjoy all of this because what's so great about what we get to do is we get to go in depth about burning questions people have about you about your time on the show about your opinions on the other men in the house about your relationship with tasha there's so many questions ivan you're obviously a fan favorite it. Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hour. Yes, welcome.

I appreciate it. You've been one of the most requested men that we've been asked to have. So we are thrilled to be having you. I mean, we want to get into it. We have so much to ask you. But first, yes, like to play off of Rachel, how have you been?

How are you doing now that we're kind of back in quarantine and you just were on this crazy whirlwind of a journey? Not Dallas. Dallas is not in quarantine. Y'all are loud out there. no oh yeah yeah very different from LA out here for sure

but no I've been really good I got back into my regular routine took a little trip with my brothers last week that was fun and everything's back to normal now for the most part you know it's the anxiety's kind of building and it's like you know things progress with the show but it's been fun I've enjoyed everything

how is watching it back with your friends or your family is it is it weird Is it strange? Is it enjoyable? It's extremely weird. Like the first episode I watched, episode one with Claire, I watched it by myself. I was like, I can't watch with any of you guys. Y'all are going to stress me out. It was already stressful enough for just me by myself, to be honest.

But as time progressed, it's been fun. I went back to my parents' house a couple times and watched with them and watched with a couple friends last night, actually. And it's been fun. It's enjoyable, though. They always have a ton of questions. And I'm like, man, I had the time of my life. out there. Well, Dallas is a hot spot for The Bachelor. Did you know anybody? Okay, so then that's

I literally got this in my interview. They were like, well, Dallas is a hot spot, you know, because Jojo had just been before me as the Bachelorette. And this is when I was just coming on as a contestant. And they were like, do you know anybody? Do you have you ever met any other people in the show? And I was like, I don't even watch the show, so I couldn't tell you, you know, like either or. My question for you, Ivan, is, how does? Does an aeronautical engineer wind up on the bachelor? I don't know if we've ever seen it before, and I'm pretty sure we'll never see it again. We'll see.

Well, for me, it was interesting. The show reached out to me via social media, a DM, and I was like, is this real or whatever? And then I had to go Google and check to make sure it's a real person and all that stuff. And one thing led to another, and I'm on the show. Once I started getting into the process, to be honest, I was like, I feel like I'm going to be on here. I told my parents, it's like a pretty high percent chance that I'm going to be on this show. And this is kind of crazy. But, you know, it was a once-in-lifetime opportunity, honestly, to meet somebody amazing, potentially.

And then also be able to do so many amazing things, especially during this quarantine time. So I jumped right at it. And luckily, my job is extremely flexible, and my manager's amazing. So I got to take all the time off that I needed. And it's been awesome. That's how I guess I ended up here. I, you know, I don't, I'm not the typical, I guess, engineer, I would say as well. Like, I like to do a lot of different things.

I'm not as nerdy as I guess most people would think an engineer is. Richard. Richard. Yeah, there we go. So, yeah, yeah. I consider myself, you know, pretty spontaneous, too. So it's, I'm glad I did it, though, for sure. Did you watch the show before going on?

So I've seen, like, episodes before. I know Rachel's season was actually the first one. I know I've seen, like, a few episodes of. I know I didn't watch the whole thing, but I want to say I probably watched some episodes with my mom back in the day maybe and then my ex-girlfriend used to watch it. I never paid attention. But once I first got the first call, I started paying attention to Peter season for sure just to like understand what was going on. I need, I'm one of those people. Yeah, I kind of needed to like be prepared a little bit to see like what was going to happen before I go on

the show. So I watched Peter season. And then I also went back and watched Hannah Brown's like first night just to see what the entrances look like to figure that whole thing out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the extent of what I knew about the show really. Okay, before we really get into, I mean, because we have a lot of questions to ask you about hometowns, because that's obviously what we just watched. But I want to get into first, because we

didn't really see much of you when it was still Claire's time on the show. You know, you were a little bit more quiet, a little bit more reserved, but the second Tasia entered the room and it was officially announced as your new bachelor, your energy

completely switched, a completely Late 180, you just like seem to light up from within. So, and we don't need to get into like the time prior to that. But what was it like waiting in the house, not like after Claire left, waiting for potentially a new bachelor, not knowing what was going on, and then meeting Tasha for the first time? No, it was, it was awesome. It was like a little bit nerve wrecking because we just went through where we went through.

But I remember there were probably like a few of the guys. We thought it was going to turn into Bachelor in Paradise, to be honest. So we were just excited for whatever, but I remember telling a couple, I remember telling a couple of the guys, I was like, you know, it could be Bachelor in Paradise, that would be great, but honestly, all it takes is one girl and to be the Bachelorette, and that's going to get me excited too. And that's all it took, and Tasha arrived. And as soon as she walked in that door, I know I was the first person to hug her, I was the most excited guy in that room that night. Tisha is just somebody, like, who I felt like I kind of already knew. I feel like we have similar backgrounds and I just knew

and I even said it that night I was like I'm in here I'm going to be here for the long haul and I think a lot of guys were kind of like taken aback by it all because they all had this idea that the rankings of Claire's people was going to stay the same with Tasha

and I was like no this is completely different good luck to you guys because I know I'm going to be here for a while to be honest Oh I love it I love the confidence so what was it that made you say Tasia and I have very similar backgrounds.

Well, one thing I guess that we connected with on our one-on-one was that we're both biracial, have black dads. And then our moms are actually both immigrants. Her mom's from Mexico. My mom's from the Philippines. And we did speak about that as well. And that was another thing we could connect on, how we can relate to both cultures.

And then on top of that, she's from Orange County. And I'm from Plano, Texas, which is like a really nice area, which is probably a little bit similar to Orange County. And I feel like I've met a lot of people like Tasha, I would say. So I felt like to a certain degree I kind of knew her. And I've dated a lot of different women of all races, all backgrounds, and whatnot. But like, I'll say the majority have been like kind of in like the Tisha realm or so. So she was your type.

Yeah. Yeah, I would say she was more of my type, I would say for sure, my preference. Yeah. Well, if we couldn't tell from the smile the second she walked, in. I mean, we found out real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. Keep going. No, yeah. I actually had to catch myself after one of my interviews that night. And I was like, oh, boy, I need to calm down. I'm a little too excited right now because it was a lot of excitement, though, because I was just ready to get things

going. Well, you were literally glowing at. You were like bouncing in the chair, just smiling. I was like, oh, he is ready for this one. So taking it back to your one-on-one, because that's really where we first obviously got to know you. And the fact that I love about it is like, you guys weren't traveling. There was no exotic destinations. There was no fancy gimmicks. It was just like one of the most chill down to earth, but memorable one-on-ones that we've ever, ever seen on the show for however many seasons it's been going on 1,000 now, basically. And that's, I think, based solely on you opening up about your vulnerability to have these important conversations and to really talk about what's not only going on with yourself and in your life, in your background,

but with the world. And so I want to start with the story of your brother. How did you feel being able to share that part of your life with Tasha? Was it nerve-wracking? How did it feel after you had this conversation? Just take us back to that night. Yeah. Yeah. So that night, honestly, first, just first of all, it started out great. Like, I love game nights. And I told Tasha that actually in one of the earlier cocktail parties like game nights are my thing just hanging out with my friends doing playing all types of games uh whatever you can think of um those are like my favorite nights just doing that and drinking and having a good time and then for us to have that first meant a lot to me because it was just so much fun that we could just like really relax and be ourselves and then

later on i knew i wanted to uh you know share the story with my brother because you know in this short amount of time you really have to like explain and show the person that you truly are and to do that for me I had to tell the story of my brother that shaped me in more ways than pretty much anything in my life so I felt like I really needed to do that it was a little bit nerve-wrecking because I'll tell you like some of my best friends honestly you don't even know like my younger brother was in prison because I keep a lot of that in so it was a little bit nerve-wrecking but it was definitely something I wanted to share and I knew I had to share for Tasha to really understand kind of who I am a little bit

Yeah. I mean, that conversation was like a conversation we've never seen before on the Bachelor franchise. And I, we spoke about it like at great lengths here on a Bachelor happy hour. And one of the things we said was we really appreciated you being vulnerable, which is what Becca was talking about. But also just the way you were able to speak about the situation because you. You admitted your own thoughts and how you used to think about things, which I thought was very honest because a lot of people can't do that. He said, oh, I used to think of it this way until I had somebody close to me who was a part of the system and then I started to see it in a totally different way. And I thought that was very eye-opening and refreshing to see because not everybody has the power to be able to do that. One of the things that we talked about on the podcast is that we felt like you carried

the conversation. It seemed very, and Becca, I have received a little bit of heat from this, but it's the truth. It's how we felt. I was blown away by you, we were, by you and your honesty. I want to know how you felt in that moment, because obviously we aren't, we weren't privy to the entire conversation. There was obviously more that was said. How did you feel in that moment? Oh, man. Yeah, so that, yeah, that moment was. great and you know it just it just came so naturally honestly for the both of us but yeah with me i i did see a lot of hesitation when it came to tasha and for myself i know like throughout my whole life i've always been very introspective and taken a lot of time to think deeply about a lot of

topics and do research to like form my own opinions on things and you know to be honest not everybody has spent that amount of time i would say and and my dad's done a good job of like making sure I'm keenly aware of like black issues in America, especially with my dad being a little bit older. He's 73. Like, he's lived through a lot of crazy stuff. So he's told me a lot of stories. So growing up, I knew a lot of different things and was keenly aware of, you know, Bachelor Nation and black issues, especially this year for sure. So, no, I just appreciated Tasha in that moment for just being open and honest because that's what I think she was doing.

you know not everybody's going to be able to just speak at length on term on these types of things or give dissertations on black issues in America and whatnot and I don't expect everybody to to be honest but as long as you're like aware things are happening and you're being open and honest about the way you view things then that's all I could ask for from her at that moment for sure First of all, I appreciate your father setting the example of recognizing the fact that you're biracial, right? Like, I'm not biracial, but I will have biracial children. And I just think it's so admirable that he recognized that you do have, you come from two different cultures, but always reminding you of you of who you are, always reminding you that if you get pulled over, when people see you, this is what they're going to see first and they may not understand the other side of you. I appreciate that.

And I think that it's something that you said about, you know, you appreciated Tasha about being aware of what's going on. I guess I feel like as a black woman, I need you to be more than aware. And I think this was like kind of the issue in watching it. Would you expect or maybe want more from someone that you're establishing a relationship with? Would you want them to be more cognizant of who they are when they navigate this? world. And maybe you can give me a different perspective because I will recognize I'm, I'm black and black. You know, you are biracial. And so maybe you can give a different perspective of what it is to navigate the world as a biracial person that I can't. Yeah. No, you're, you're making a great

point, right? But to be frank and honest, Tisha honestly just grew up in a bubble, I feel like, and she's kind of, you know, and I could kind of see that and sense that from her. What she's able to do going forward is what matters the most. But kudos to you because you truly did I think carry that conversation and I want to go and because you spoke about your dad and I will say this so after watching hometowns with your family and we all talked well I shouldn't say we Rachel and I talked about this before you hopped on about how it was I think one of our favorite hometown dates out of this bunch. It was just the fact that you guys were cooking and drinking wine in the kitchen seemed so down to earth and your family was so beautiful and lovely and I did

write in my notes. Your dad kind of reminded me of my father. So my dad is also, well, was, he passed away, but he was older. So he was actually the same age as your dad. But your father and I feel like we don't always see this with parents on the show because I think they like,

oh, we just want our son or daughter to be happy and this is like really cool, unique experience. But your dad was so realistic and down to earth. And I liked that he kind of like kept you grounded when he saw you. That was something really special. So loved that interaction because it just, you know, it gave me all the feels. But the real surprise

of your hometown date wasn't seeing your parents. It was seeing your brother. Yeah. And the show doesn't make me cry very often. And I was sobbing like a baby watching this moment go down. So what when he walked out, give me everything you're feeling and thinking when you first saw him again after two months. I got to be honest. Yeah, I was only anticipating my parents being there, and that's what Chris Harrison told me. And when Chris told me that my mind, just because I've kind of been trained to think this

way, it just went to, like, dark places of like something bad happened to my brother because we are close, and I knew he would be there for me if he could. So I was just extremely nervous that, you know, something terrible happened, and he ended up back in prison or you know honestly even potentially dead to be honest um that's something we've been dealing with you know before he was in prison during he was in prison and after um he struggles from a lot of mental health issues and like i said a little bit of addiction and um depression and all that kind of stuff so um it's hard to work through so i was just uh i was just i was just very nervous i would say but when he actually showed up there um it was just such a such a nice relief i um

to be able to actually see him and uh you know there's times honestly he's only been at that point he was only out of prison for about a year and and we've had trials and tribulations even just that year he's been out but um that was the first time i've seen him like on a trip he's been that he's been on a trip or um in a different state in in years like since we were little so it was just uh it was just such a shock to have him there i'm sure he was enjoying his experience there And he just means the world to me. I've said this multiple times, but he's the most influential person in my life. He's the person, if he was like me, I honestly might be like a little bit in the bubble and not be so open to people who have gone through issues and whatnot.

So he's just opened my eyes, you know, going to different rehabs with him and participating in sessions and whatnot and hearing other people's stories just to be more understanding and less judgmental of everyone in the world, to be honest. So he doesn't take enough credit for that. And he'll always say, like, I'm just, you know, the greatest big brother in the world. But he's the greatest younger brother, too, just by being himself. You guys. Okay. I'm so emotional right now. What is going on?

Your reaction. When he walks through, I love Tach's reaction, too, because you hear the door open and Tachia just looks at you like, oh, my gosh, it's happening. And it's like, it doesn't register with you yet. You're like, wait, what? And you go from this laugh to this cry, like you see the emotion change. Like, I can't believe this is happening to, oh my gosh, it's happening. Oh, Ivan is everything. I am curious to know, because you've been so honest about what your brother has gone through,

how is your brother right now? And how has he been knowing that you have been? I'm sure you got his blessing, but just that you've been talking about, like, the things that he's been through. I just want to know how he's feeling about it and how is he doing it. now. For sure. Yeah, my brother and I are very close. We talk all the time. And he understands that he has helped shape the person I've become the day. So he knows I need to be able to express that to whoever I want to potentially get married to you because that's how I'm viewing this at that point.

So I definitely had his blessing for sure. And on top of that, my brother and I have talked about potentially starting like, you know, charities and ways of giving back because of his experience in prison. Like I said, on the show, it's a we would go visit him, he would tell me some crazy stuff that's happening in prison, like that nobody else. He wouldn't tell that to anybody else. My mom would go step away or my mom and dad would go step away and bring his daughter away. And, you know, we'd have those intense talks where he's like sometimes breaking down and telling me these things he's actually having to deal with. And I'm trying to coach him through it,

but there's not much you can do through a glass wall. And then when I leave, I just feel so helpless. So there's just so much that he's learned going through that experience. And And quite frankly, you know, like I said with George Floyd, police brutality has been brought to the forefront of the society here in America. The thing that me and him have both recognized is that, you know, correctional officer brutality is not really talked about at all. That's a situation where there is nobody in the prison system or jails who have cameras to, like, record what's going on. If you do something, it's completely handled by the correctional officers. They get, they're the judge jury execution or all that stuff and decide. fate. There's no visibility whatsoever. So without any visibility, there's no way we can like

track what's going on or hold people accountable at all, especially without a third party. So those are all major problems we've known and have recognized. And, you know, prisoners, you know, majority of them come back to society and, you know, to be going through abuse in there and, you know, honestly not having the correct rehabilitation type of activities going on in there. It's just not good for, you know, America as a whole, honestly. So there's a lot of changes that I think need to happen. You know, this is the, like, prison capital of the world. America is we hold a vast majority of the prisoners compared to all the other developed

countries, especially the candid Scandinavian countries. So there's a lot of improvement to be done there. And with my brother's knowledge from the inside and then, like, with what I want to do with philanthropy going forward and charities and whatnot, we'll definitely want to make a change in that space. Okay. this is why I love having you guys on the podcast because there is so much that not only we can learn from you, but that all of our listeners can learn from you. And I guarantee a majority of the listeners probably have no, and I don't want this, like, probably have no idea of all the things that are really truly going on. And this is why it's so good, as you said, to educate yourself and to immerse yourself in something that you don't see on a daily basis to, learn more and grow from and so incredible incredible um one thing i want to touch on

switching gears a little bit here is your adorable niece yeah the adorable we can't not talk about hometowns like the uh what did the the uh best chef filipino chef was it that you call here yeah yeah i did uh yeah i set her up yes she's uh she's uh she's just had her fifth year birthday and um you know i think she'll really appreciate that moment later going for it as she like realizes what actually happened my mom and and uh keelani's mom are very like they do they're very hands on and do everything with her so the fact that they were able to get a video of her cooking lumpia you know uh which is something that my mom's cooked for me my entire life um really meant a lot to me and i i really wanted keelani to be there more than anything but uh you know

She couldn't make the trip, which was fine. That video was enough, and that brought a giant smile to my face. Kalani, you know, she was born, like I said, I think on the show. She was born while my brother was in prison. So she had her mom there, and her mom's great, amazing. But me and my parents definitely had to step up and step into her life. And I always wanted to make sure she had that, like, father figure there for her as well. And I always wanted my brother to know that she's taking care of no matter what happens.

because I'm always going to take care of her and look at her as my own. So, yeah, having Kaylani sending that video is the cutest thing ever. She's the cutest little girl. She's like the background on my phone, and I love her. If I'm ever feeling down, I just have to look at a picture of her, and I'm good to go after that. For sure. Kaylani. She's so cute.

I've been listening to you speak about her. It just gives me chills and so special. I feel like I have no idea what happens the rest of the. of this season after this hometown date but I feel like you would be ready for kids I think so I'll say this

yeah I'll say this because yeah I'll say this I could definitely handle kids now but I definitely want to enjoy like traveling and doing some things for my partner first before kids to be honest how often do you see her Kalani

it varies She lives about three hours away right now, so I'd probably see her once a month, maybe. But before that, she lived at my parents' house with her mom for about a year, so I saw her all the time then. So, yeah, it's always a treat to see her, though, especially now that she's getting her personality. She's always been pretty shy, and now she's a TV star now. That's right. Yeah, she's about a TV star. You created a monster. You created a monster.

Ivan, we get to see so many great things about you, the show and one of the other things is that you tend to stay out of the drama like you're not involved there's a lot of drama surrounding you especially with the switch of bachelorets and the men and all of this it's a lot um who were you close with in the house oh i was i was close with a lot of guys but first and foremost demar was probably my best friend from this show he um we were roommates the longest actually and you know being roommates just allowed us to talk a lot more and And he's such, like, a ball of energy and, like, probably the most positive guy in the house, especially as, like, a spin instructor.

He's got great energy all the time. You've got to be positive. Oh, he's got to be. He's the best at telling stories. He could be, like, a narrator, honestly, a podcast host, or even a DJ. He's got great music since. So I was closest with DeMar, but I was close with a lot of guys. I was really close with, or still am, close with Noah, Riley, Jordan Chapman, quite a few of the guys.

Spencer, even. I know I'm missing a couple but yeah quite a few of the guys I still keep in touch with I'm assuming you're part of the group chat like what do you guys call yourself the Sweet 16 yeah did we name it

we named it well I think too what did we have on was it Kenny that said like the Sweet 16 group probably yeah whenever when Claire left a lot of the guys like to named us the Sweet 16 and if you guys were there like listening to us

um everybody was saying they were going to get sweet 16 tattoos and whatnot and I was over here just being quiet because I was like I don't want a tattoo but everybody was down for it it was hilarious but uh but yeah it's uh the sweet 16 was always that's so like Kenny I feel like Kenny was leading the charge on that right? Totally like oh he wanted probably everybody to be honest we had the same conversation when I was on RA season um I don't remember how many of us were left maybe like 14 we went to Paris and we also thought it would be a good idea to get rose tattoos. Thank God we didn't.

That sounds exactly what they wouldn't do. I think that's been done. I feel like somebody did that. My group of girls, we were like, it's cool here, but I don't know if I'm really going to know y'all like that when this is all that group. And I'm so close to several of them,

but no, absolutely that. Damara has a rose tattoo, though. He's the only one who I think got one, actually. He got one after. He got one. It's pretty cool, too. Tell me it's like a big one, not like a thing.

No, it's like a big one all across this floor. Okay, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. No, he committed to it. Yeah, he committed to it for sure. Can't you see him, though, in like, as a spin instructor saying, you know, back in my time when I was in Palm Springs at the Lakeita, you just got to stay focus. You can't, you can't determine, you know, if you ever seen a spin instructor,

I can totally hear the Peloton in my head. You got to stay focused. You can't worry about these other men that are distracting you. Oh, my God. For sure. The whole thing. I'm telling you, he's the best that it. I'm sure it is, yeah.

oh i i well becca i'll let you ask your final question yeah yeah um so i mean we asked this of every guess because it's and the answers very greatly but what was your rose and your thorn of the entire season up until this point up until hometowns okay um for what's okay okay okay i got you so my thorn I know my one thorn actually. This is my only complaint that I have. I don't complain about much honestly because I was just so grateful for the experience. But the heat there was ridiculous. The temperature in Palm Springs was ridiculous.

I couldn't deal with it. It's like we go outside and shoot for a little bit and I'm sweating like crazy. Eventually I started to learn like, hey, I need to always carry a towel because this is ridiculous. I just got to wipe off all the time. So that sucked, to be honest. But either way, I don't want to come off. It's like I'm complaining because I was just very thankful to be there. the rose up to that point yeah I guess it's just got to be the family the hometown the hometown's got to be

that just had so many different elements the fact that I got to share like you know my Filipino culture with Tasha and just cooks and Lumpia that was awesome for me with Kalani coaching us through that and then my and then the fact my mom my brother and my dad were able to show up that like my core family and that just meant the world to me that they were all there to support me and I loved every minute of that date. Well, we did too. We have truly enjoyed watching you on the show because you've taken it up a notch. Like, you've really raised the bar when it's come to the show.

We've been able to have conversations that I don't know prior to 2020 we would have ever been able to have on the Bachelor franchise. And Becca and I both speak out about the need for diversity and the need for change and the need for growth. And I'm happy that through the conversation that you initiated, we were able to see that. I mean, naming people who were killed at the hands of the police on ABC primetime. You know, like, it's, it was, it really was powerful. And I hope you know or you understand. I'm sure you didn't in the moment because you were just being yourself and saying, you know, how you were feeling. But I hope you see that it was a big deal, you know, now that it's out there.

Yeah. No, no, I really appreciate that. And to be honest, I was definitely aware. And I've been listening to you guys for a while now, actually, ever since, like, I started the casting process. And hearing you guys speak about things, Rachel Beckett, I really appreciate you guys for bringing stuff up. I remember you guys had a podcast specifically about talking about the world and whatnot. And I listened to that. And, you know, with the whole batch diversity campaign and all that kind of stuff, like, I read through the things that they had.

So I was keenly aware of what was happening. And myself being, you know, half black, half Asian. I kind of, I did like a quick check. I haven't seen any other black and Asian person on the show before. So I was like the first person to represent people who look like me specifically. And, you know, and especially having Tasha there, that's what I think really allowed me to, like, relate to her with us both being biracial. And especially it was, it was in the summertime.

So, like, things had just happened. And I know I spent a ton of time reflecting and taking notes and, like, making all these project plans for, like, all these ideas I have. that's just what I do in those types of moments. And so it was just still so fresh on my mind. And, you know, I wanted to be a part of the change in Bathra Nation. I'm really glad that it was received well. I'm honestly shocked I haven't got too much backlash at all.

Like, I was actually really shocked for just having a normal regular conversation. So I'm very happy with the way it was received. And I'm very happy that I got to start potentially a new trend in Bathurst Nation. Can I tell you, Taylor Nolan is doing a series about um biracial contestants i think she started it in august actually i don't know if you're aware of it but through her podcast of with uh biracial contestants that have been on the show and it's really good so if you haven't checked it out already i do that because she's definitely been great at like leading the charge of that experience so no i really i really appreciate that and i actually have heard that

and uh um yes she had like four different shows or episodes of that and um taylor's was another person in That's her nation. I didn't follow too many people, honestly, prior to coming on to the show. I think it was like yourself, Rachel, and maybe Taylor and maybe Ashley Spivey, I think, something like that. And Taylor and I have actually connected since after the show, and she's somebody I appreciate who is always just being herself, which I appreciate the most. I like it when people are just being themselves and not regretting it at all or apologizing

for that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Ivan, it has been an absolute pleasure. you've like set this bar now for for the franchise as a whole and I can only hope that we take it up a notch season by season and keep going so thank you for sharing your story on national television for sharing your family and the relationship that you have with them with all of us and just for being being on our podcast today we're so happy to have you no I'm honored and I really appreciate you guys having me honestly it's uh it feels like a dream comes true honestly because I've just heard you guys on the on the Apple podcast for a while now and meeting you guys is awesome so I really appreciate it.

Thank you. Thank you for that support. We appreciate that. Yeah. Of course, of course. Ivan, right? So sweet. Oh, this been on this show. He, like I liked him before

and we've talked about this at length. Like after his one-on-one, he grew on me so, so much. But just having him here today, like right now, the amount of chills that I got for this entire conversation he's incredible incredible it was him talking about because like that's what you want to hear

when he said hey you know like with Tasha I want to see what she does moving forward hearing him talk about the things he wants to do moving forward how he's like I've been reflecting and I've been thinking how could I help out with this and bringing awareness to the abuse from correctional officers and fighting for people who are behind bars I mean just the level of activism, the level of the desire to want to do better and make changes in our society.

I really appreciate the conversation. And I love that you can tell that him talking about George Floyd, that's just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much depth there. Yes. Like, I have no doubt he is going to be doing big, incredible things from here on out. And in a weird way, like even though, yes, it's a reality TV show, I'm glad now that he has this. platform to do so because had we not have had him on and had he not shared this story about his brother and speaking out about George Floyd like bachelor nation would have had none of that this

season and it's so needed and so I can't wait to see what he does from here and out and he did not disappoint no he didn't he's a good one so all right you guys well getting down to the wire we officially have only two episodes left this season which I know we keep saying it seems like it's dragging on and on and on, but we have two episodes left before the finale. So we're dying to know how this season ends for Tasha. I truly like, you know, we try to guess week by week. And like, at this point, I'm like, I have no clue how it's going to turn out. So next week, we're going to be on Monday and Tuesday back to back.

So please make sure that you're following along and watching with us. Yes. And also make sure to keep up with us on social. You know where to find us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram or at Batch Happy Hour on Facebook and Twitter. And last but not least, you guys, don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondry app, or wherever you're listening to this right now. Bye guys. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast.

Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, we're not going to choose an adapt. strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denials easier complex problem solving takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts it's important that we just reassure people that they're not alone and there is help out there the good stuff podcast season two takes a deep look into one tribe foundation a non-profit fighting suicide in the veteran Community. September is National Suicide Prevention Month, so join host Jacob and Ashley Schick

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Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. This is an IHeart podcast.