Bachelor Happy Hour - Trista Shares Her OG Perspective

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Joe and Serena are joined by Bachelor Nation’s fairy godmother and original Bachelorette, Trista Sutter, for a conversation about Charity’s season, the keys to a long-lasting marriage, and so much more. Trista reveals why she can’t get over Xavier’s admission in Fiji, which season of “The Bachelor” she just couldn’t get into, and which of her children she wouldn’t be able to stop from coming on the show one day.   Plus, Trista was at the taping for this season’s “Men Tell All” and she shares some great behind-the-scenes moments, including one that convinced her that Gerry and “The Golden Bachelor” are truly going to live up to the hype.   Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday.

No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B and hip-hop. Professionally, I

started at death world records from mary mary to jennifer hudson we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it listen to culture raises us on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast hello bachelor nation welcome back to another episode of bachelor happy hour uh we have a good one for you this week trista sutter welcome to the podcast how you doing thanks for having me of course welcome back i mean right i mean right you're guys were here but yeah i was there somebody it's nice to finally meet you i've i've heard something about you so i don't know if you guys are the same were you even born when the bachelorette started serena i don't know if that's true what year did it start i don't know if i want to answer this

question i know right so but the reason i say that is because i've watched every single season of the and huge fans of both of yours. So I love that I'm getting the chance to meet. Oh, thank you. Likewise. Yeah, of course. Actually, if Paradise was a thing, right? And you and your husband didn't work out.

Would you have considered going on that show? Well, I can't say because we did work out. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. you're a little late with that question i think they've been together for like 20 years you know what though i i do love the show i love bachelor in paradise i love that it continues to you know bring people together from the show i i don't know that i can say i love it more because my heart um you know kind of is all about bachelorette just because that's

you know, where our love story started. But I am a huge fan of Bachelor in Paradise. We love what they've done. BachelorPad was fun in that I had the challenges and, you know, the kind of like survivor-esque thing to it. But I do love watching Bachelor in Paradise. That's not to say that I don't know that I would do it. But I'm just thankful that everything did work out for me. There you go. There you go. Do you feel like when you walk, because I kind of feel this way when I watch Paradise, do you feel like when you watch Bachelorette, you're almost like you know a little too much? Like, like, yeah, to a degree, I don't know if it's just because I'm a hopeless romantic and I love

seeing the love stories unfold or the fact that I feel very maternal towards everyone on the show because I am so much older than everyone, Serena, especially. But I just feel very maternal. And so I, from my couch, from my living room, I feel like I get very protective over people. So it's weird for me to watch because, I kind of have that weird perspective. This is kind of a little, what do you call it? Teaser. It also happens with two children.

You forget a lot of things that you want to say. It's called, I don't even know what it's called. My brain doesn't work a lot anymore. Maybe it's because I'm 50. Anyway, I will be appearing on the Mentel All, which was so, so exciting for me because I do feel very maternal towards everyone. everybody and just to be able to give charity a hug felt really great um i did give her a little piece of advice and tell her that even though i feel maternal um towards everyone i don't like to

say that because i feel like it kind of disrespects their own families you know obviously i don't even know you guys but i do kind of feel just protective over everyone on the show just because we are kind of like a crazy dysfunctional, if you will, family, but still we're family. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think it disrespects the family. I think there's like a unique bond within the franchise and especially within the Bachelorette community. I'm sure charity feels a strong sense of connection to you as well.

And we're so excited for people to get to see you on the Mentel All and, you know, the conversation you have with charity because we had the pleasure of getting to watch it as well. And it was a really great moment. So fun. Thank you. Yeah, we want to get your thoughts on charity thus far. But I do want to ask, has there ever been a lead, a bachelorette where you were like, hmm, not only do I not really feel maternal for this one? I don't really like her.

Oh, my God. I'm not my favorite child. Yeah, yeah. Do you have a least favorite child? Yes. Do you have a least favorite? And you don't have to say who it is. You know what?

No, not actually. Not Bachelorette. Bachelor. Yes. That's fair. Yeah. I actually, okay, so I'm going to back up. I kind of made, I lied to you a little bit because I haven't watched every single season, every single show. I, there is one season that I have still to finish. I watched a few of the episodes, but I didn't finish this season. Can you guess which one it is? Um, is it a recent one, ish? Yeah, ish. Is it a Bachelor season or a Bachelorette? It's a Bachelor. I've watched all the Bachelorette seasons and all the Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelor

Pad and Winter Games and yada yada yada. I'm going to say. Yeah, let's each take our guess. I'm going to say just, just, I feel like the way you're phrasing it, it's Matt James because that's a season that Serena was on. I'm going to go Clayton. Oh. Nope.

I watched both of those. Oh. It was Zach. Okay. It was Zach. Most recent, yeah, right? The most recent. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't want to give it away by saying. Most recent. So why do you not like Zach? I didn't say that, Joe. No. He's still a child of mine. No. Uh, you know, my fairy godmother status. Um, so I don't know. I don't know what it was about his season. I

just couldn't connect. Okay. In, in some, some episodes in the beginning, there were points that, and I hate to say this, but I, so maybe I shouldn't, but, um, I don't know. There were points that I just felt he wasn't being genuine. And, and that could have just been me and my, you know, my take through the television screen. I've heard wonderful things about him. We actually had him, Bob, Bob Guinea is my co-host for my podcast called the Almost Famous OGs. So we're kind of like a little spin-off of Ashley and Benton's almost famous podcast. And they were all together. I couldn't be there, but they were all together, Bob and then Ashley and Ben and Zach was there. And I've heard wonderful things about it.

Oh, I think I saw this on social media. Was it like some big hangout in like Texas or something? It was in in California. And maybe it was California. I just remember seeing a bunch of people from the franchise together. Gabby and Rachel were there. Yeah, they did like a big. It was kind of like we did the same thing last year.

We did one in Tahoe and had a bunch of people just get together. which was super fun. But I've heard wonderful things about him. I'm sure he's a wonderful guy. I wish him and Katie. All the best. I just couldn't get him. She just doesn't like him.

You can't connect with every league the same. Do you have like favorite children from the franchise then? If you have children you maybe don't connect with as much, who are the children that are your like superstars? Yeah. You know, I am close with Caitlin for a step. Deanna, Desiree, we have a Bachelorette text thread that we love to just stay in touch. It's mostly like wishing everyone birthday, happy birthday, or, you know, congratulations on your marriage or whatever.

So I feel connected to all of them, but I would say, Caitlin, and I talk pretty frequently. You had a, was it a birthday trip that Caitlin was on? Yeah, I turned 50 and went to beaches in Curacao. It's in the Caribbean. And Caitlin and Jason came on the trip. I invited a bunch of my friends, including them, including, you know, some other batch of people that couldn't attend. But Caitlin and Jason could make it.

So I loved that they could be there. It was great to have them there and we had a great time. Nice. Nice. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about charity season. What are your thoughts? What are your thoughts? How's she doing?

I think she's doing great. I kind of love, like, I feel like they're kind of getting back to the roots of when it started. Like, it's not as long of the season. It started with 25 guys instead of 30 or 35 or whatever. So in my season, we started with 25 guys. went down to 15 it was very short season it was six weeks long um so i kind of like the fact that they're getting back to maybe a little bit of that because as a viewer i don't know how do you guys feel but watching three hour episodes is a lot it's a huge time commitment and i feel like

it's so much more easily digestible if it's between an hour and two hours i agree i mean even we hear like oh this um you know oppenheimer just came out but it's it's almost three hours we're like oh i can't go sit in the movie theater for three hours but then yeah then we're watching on our couch and we're like oh yeah i have a bone to pick with three hour movies yeah yeah you actually you you have i feel strong i need an intermission at least when i'm watching tv at home live there's like commercial breaks i can get up i can go to the bathroom i can refill my water but yeah you can That's the whole other thing. Yeah, you can pause it.

There's PVR. Yeah, you just wait until you have kids and then you have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, that'll be a whole, then I'll be using Hulu a lot more. That's right. Do you think, do you think yourself is a lead? Do you think it would have been different if you would have had a blueprint? Like you, you know, you being the first one, do you think you would have handled it different if you were, let's say, Bachelorette? number 12

you know that's really interesting because I'm sure in some way it would have been different I was actually just thinking about that today is the fact that going into it we all had no clue

on the first season of The Bachelor no clue what this show was all about I mean rose ceremony that was not a thing you know like it it was totally brand new and I feel like even though some people say that they go on the show for the right reasons and they're not there to get Instagram famous or get a podcast um that

no it's true um but you know like I just feel like there's something there where how can they not think about that how can they not think of about the fact that they'll probably have a second chance on Bachelor in Paradise if they stand out enough. You know what I mean? Or maybe if they fly under the radar. I don't know. I always said that people, if you're not acknowledging the fact

that you can now make a living off of social media, there are podcast opportunities. There are spin-off shows. If you're not acknowledging the fact that that is a possibility, you're lying. You're totally lying. Because at the end of the day, like best case scenario, you go on and you find the love of your life. Worse case scenario,

you get your heartbroken. But then there's stuff that lives in between of like, okay, well, if neither of those happen, like what are the other possibilities here? And, you know, we were lucky enough to be two of the people that fell in love. Obviously, you were as well. But I think there's so many more options in the in between now than there were 10 years ago. Yeah, I agree. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills, and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face.

When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adapted strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to say, like, go you, go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress, seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just, like, walk the other way.

Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denial is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So in the last month, the Midas Touch Network beat Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Candice Owens, Charlie Kirk, and Ben Shapiro all combined. Conservative podcasts can have a major political impact. But the Myceles Brothers, three siblings with a serious media strategy, are building an alternative to that. On the latest episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, I sat down with the brothers behind the Midas Touch Network to talk about how they built a progressive media powerhouse from the ground up, why audience interaction is the key to political influence

and what it takes to fight disinformation at scale, one download at a time. We should be focusing on the issues that actually occupy a lot of the mental space in Americans' minds but are filled with conspiracies, and we should fill it with the truth and solutions. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop.

This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about thoroughly before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realized just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem. I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Ross. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's what I really wanted to ask you, because were there any other, like, there had to be, like, there had to be some allure of just, or maybe there wasn't of just like going on national television. Like, was there anything that you were like, oh, I know, I may fall in love, but if I don't, maybe I will be the next Oprah Winfrey.

You know, like, was any like, I will say, and sorry to cut you off if you have more. No, no, no, no. Keep it go. I will say that being, I was a pediatric physical therapist. So I was like nine to five every day, Miami Children's Hospital. That was my life. And then being surrounded by this group of people, like the crew, the camera guys, the producers, everybody, right? Hair and makeup, all of it.

I felt like they had so much fun. doing their job. And I don't know if you guys felt that way, but the energy with the people that I was with constantly. And when I was back from Intel All, it was the same. You just slide right back into it. I mean, Carrie Fetman, I just love the man and getting to see him. Like, it's just, it really truly is like a family reunion whenever I get to, you know, go back. I just feel like it is what was I even getting at what was the question

I mean seriously my brain no you're good no were there other incentives other things that crossed your mind that's where I was going right so the energy of the crew the host the

the producers everybody was just so uplifting it like gave me energy and that's my personality too like being in a social environment it like fills me up fuels me up i do like my time away every now and then but for ryan it was the opposite so being around all these people constantly having the cameras on him constantly totally drink totally during time i cannot believe he'd date but so for me i loved

that stuff and i ended up um like going down the host route i was on the view i did good day lae i did um good morning america and extra and all this correspondent stuff because i just love the industry and the energy and the people and it was fun. So my job as a pediatric physical therapist was really rewarding in that I worked with kids. I helped them walk for, you know, like whatever they needed to do depending on their diagnosis. And it was super rewarding and I love kids and I loved my job. But this was different. Like it was just like the energy was amazing. And I wanted to be able to do something like that. So through the show, yes, I figured that out.

But it wasn't something coming into the show that I thought would be a possibility. I took a leave of absence from my job doing The Bachelor. And then for The Bachelorette, when they asked me, I asked my boss if I could have another leave of absence because I thought I was going to come back. And she was like, sorry, no. So that's when I ended up moving to her. LA and just, we weren't even signed to do the show yet. But they were, they were pretty confident that the show was going to happen. So they ended up paying like my rent and, and that kind of stuff

because I didn't have a job. And thankfully, the show happened. And, you know, I got to meet the love of my life. But I had planned to go back to my normal, normal life. And I think even now, like you could you could get ready for like you could be like accept like oh I'm going to maybe change my career or you know make money off of social media or whatever but the main thing after this show is you have to prioritize the relationship if you want it to work because both people most likely are going to be living in two separate cities and if you don't make that number one priority your relationship will fizzle out and then if it's all about business you're you're done you're fruit which is why like I mean and coming from me I'm sure this is like well whatever

she can't talk I did dancing with the stars but I didn't do dancing with the stars right after the show I did it after we were married um and the show wasn't even a thing when I finished the bachelorette it was the first season of dancing with the stars but when I hear that someone is immediately going to the dancing with the stars after the show. I know you did it too, Joe. I always worry for those for my children that they're not going to work out because of the priority thing. I know wholeheartedly that that is one of the biggest reasons that Ryan and I were able to make this relationship work because we moved to Colorado. We took advantage of some of the fun things like, you know, going to the AMAs and being on Oprah and, you know,

all of these things. But I do think you're right, Joe. I think it is all about prioritization. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. That's usually our biggest tip to any new couples from the franchise is if you want to make it work, there's a lot of distractions and opportunities and, you know, take advantage of anything that sounds fun or exciting. But the number one thing, like we were different countries. So we really, you know, had to prioritize the relationship. But what do you think is like, so you were the first ever bachelor. And now we've done 20 seasons of the bachelorette. What do you think is the biggest thing that's changed from your season to now charity season through like this evolution over the years?

Well, I feel like social media, you know, not it's impacted it. So I feel like it's changed in that because social media exists, people come on the show with that in the back of their mind. Like, there is a social media component to it. I don't know. I do, like I was kind of alluding to before, I feel like they're kind of getting back to how it was in the beginning, like shortening the season and not making it this huge thing.

And I have always said for years and years and years and years, you know, I get asked this all the time. What do you think the show can do to continue to have legs to stand and stay around? And my biggest thing was always pluck someone from obscurity. Let us all fall in love with them together instead of using people from past seasons. And I feel like they're doing that with Golden Bachelor and really excited because he is so wholesome. Like, my word for him is wholesome. Yeah, you met him for our listeners.

You met him at the mental all, right? Oh, my God, I adore him. I think he's going to be like, everyone is going to fall. This is my prediction. Everyone is going to fall in love with him together as a community, as Bachelor Nation. And we're all going to be rooting for him because his story is heartbreaking, how he lost his wife. And everyone, me included, we're all. all going to want him to find this happiness again. And from what I hear, the women are incredible.

There's going to be some incredible dates. I might get to see him again. So, yeah, I just, I'm really excited that they're kind of going back to the beginning in a way in plucking someone out of obscurity because they very well could have had a golden bachelor that we know from like another show like maybe someone's parent or grandparent or whatever like Gabby's grandparent for example everyone loved him or grandpa um but the fact that we are all going to get to know him together and fall in love with him together I just love that yeah same I but that's interesting do you think do you think that would work though for the bachelor or bachelorette if they depends on the person okay well i will say the closest i was just going to say the closest thing

that we've had to that since you know way back when is my season on the bachelor which was matt james's season who had never been a contestant but i don't know if you would consider that necessarily plucked out of obscurity because he still was like really good friends with Tyler Cameron and Hannah Brown. And he was cast that he was also cast it on Claire's season and then it got held. Yes. And I think there was probably pros and cons to him having never done the show before. You know, there is that sense of naivete of not full and then having to carry the show to be the lead and not fully knowing everything that's going on. I think can be hard. But I think Gary will experience all of that as well. But I do think it is exciting because yeah, you're like he literally

got plucked out of, you know, Indiana or wherever where's he have his retirement home. And they were like, you are now the bachelor. And he is so excited. And I think that makes everyone else so excited. Yeah. I agree. I think he's just really sincere in his intention. And I love that. And I think you're going to get all the women. they're sincere in their intentions. Yeah. Right. Because most of them don't know anything about

social media. Yeah. So it's, yeah. Maybe they're on Facebook. But yeah, I don't. It's funny when I first met him, it was really, really cute. I actually walked in the hair and makeup room. He was sitting

in the chair. And I was like, hi, Gary. How are you? I had no idea. to you knew who I was. I just was like, I'm going to talk to him. So we start talking and I said, so how is social media going for you? Because I know that I think they had done a video, maybe it was Good Morning Merrick or something, where he talked about how he knows nothing. And like, they actually got him signed up for his Instagram account, which I think is so cute. And I was like, so how's social media going? And he goes, oh, yeah, are you in the social media team?

And I was like, no, just not my own doing natural out. And he jumped out of his chair. gave me the biggest hug. It was the cutest thing ever. But no, I just love him. I love him. I really think this is who America is going to fall in love with

that like plucked out of obscurity thing. You know? I agree. If they did it for Bachelor or Bachelorette, I think it would totally depend on who the person is. And if they have a story that people feel worthy of us falling in love with them.

Do you know what I mean? Like kind of like his story, you know, I feel like all of us as a community feel like he deserves this second chance of love, you know. Yes. And you know that that's really what he's looking for. And he's just excited for this experienced opportunity, but most of all to have this second chance at love, which is going to be so beautiful if he finds it. I, when we interviewed him, I said, I was like, I really think this is going to work for you. I really think you're going to find love. I hope it does. I do. And that's weird because I feel maternal towards everyone, but clearly I can't feel maternal towards him because it could be like my grandpa.

Yeah. No, he's Bachelor Nation's grandpa. I love it. I love it. He is. Let's cut to this episode real quick. Just want your thoughts. I don't know.

To me, it was the biggest part of the episode with Charity saying that she's in love with two guys. you think that was the biggest part of the episode I well it's I mean I agree but I also think there's another part well Aaron B coming back or Xavier Xavier okay all right

that's interesting what about Xavier because I don't know I guess I guess what about Xavier Joe there's a lot about Xavier okay I guess I guess I was just I don't know for me I guess I was more shocked hearing her I love you to two guys, then I was seeing Xavier basically panic and then talk about cheating.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I get that. And I do think it is shocking that she told two guys that she loved them because of what had happened in the past with people telling two people that they love them. Yeah. But I think that what is kind of off-putting to me is the fact that he didn't share. about his infidelity, his past infidelities with her prior to that night and maybe it just didn't feel right, never talking about it, but I feel like it took away

the spot for Aaron, you know, unfortunately. And Aaron showed up, obviously, but it took away his ability, it seems like, to have a date on the Fantasy Suite, date episode. Yeah. And I feel like if he would have shared about his impidelity,

and maybe he was just scared. He wanted to get farther along in order to feel more confident in their relationship before he shared it. But knowing that Charity had been through what she went through with her past boyfriend

and maybe he didn't know the exact details of what happened, but he knew that it was a trigger for her is what he said. I just think that lesson learned is be upfront and honest from the get-go. Because I think it stripped her

of time with Aaron and who knows what will become of that relationship. If Xavier, because he clearly couldn't, he couldn't commit to the fact that he wouldn't cheat in the future. But if he would have told Charity, in my heart, I won't cheat. And in my head, I also won't cheat. It does seem like she probably would have went to the fantasy suites with him. Do you think that would have been the right move? Or would Would you have sent them home regardless? So I think that, you know, if he had, and he owned up to it, but he owned up to it in a way that, in my mind, in a way that was like, hey, this happened

and it could possibly happen again. I don't know. You know? Yeah. Literally that is exactly what we took from it as well. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, you want to maybe marry this girl, you're on the show because you know that that's kind of what happens at the end of the show

and you're like, oh, well, this might happen again. If I go on vacation with my boys, I'm like, what? Literally. Like, the line that really got me was that I wanted to be like Xavier, zip it. Stop saying this was, I don't want to

cheat on you. But I don't know if I won't be able, if I'll be able to like control myself. I was like, okay, I respected the honesty, but like that is a huge problem. That's what it is. It's also difficult to because he is being honest.

Like, it's just, you know. But I don't know. I don't know. I do. I respect that he was being honest. Agreed. I just feel like, um, he should have been, if he was going to be that honest and that was truly how he was feeling, maybe he should have been honest the week before.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I think the one on one would have been probably the more appropriate time to bring that conversation up. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I am listening. People make mistakes, right? So it's not to say that everyone in the world who has been unfaithful that they can't make it work in a future relationship, right? For sure. But it seemed like from her line of questioning that he really didn't do much to better himself besides being introspective is what he said. He could have said I read books. I listened to podcasts. I went to therapy. I, you know, all of these things. I talk to my friends. I talked to my family. I, you know, I went to my priest. I don't know what. But I just feel like he wasn't necessarily very remorseful. And I think had he been more remorseful and said like this happened, I feel horrible. It broke her heart. You know, it broke our relationship.

up. I want to be honest with you. It's scary to me to be committed, but I am here for you. Like had he said something like that, like, I, like obviously it doesn't have to be a mistake that lingers for the rest of your life,

but I think you need to learn something. You need to learn from it. Yeah. Yeah, and it doesn't seem like from his name. He just we said it like we just he's just and I think he I think he is a nice guy. I just think he just wasn't ready

like he's just wasn't ready like he he expressed it throughout the episode throughout the season where he's like scares me to just be with with one woman you know I don't think he wants to be with just one woman I think he wants to be with multiple women and I think that is why he doesn't trust himself

to not cheat and I think this was maybe a learning process for him that he should just go be single for a little while and enjoy that and that's fine that's okay it's not your time it's not your time to settle down you're not you're not there yet That's okay. Don't be with just one woman if you don't think you can do it.

Right. And that's kind of like my beef with it is you're on the show. If you know that about yourself, then why take away from someone else's time? And it seemed like she was right there with Erin too. And, you know, who knows what could have and what could happen with their relationship now that he's in Beijing. So we'll see. So now we have Dotten, Joey, and potential. Aaron B.

Do you have any predictions that you think might happen or anything you would like love to see happen for the rest of the season? I have loved Joey from the very first show. But I don't know. She clearly is in love with two, at least falling in love with Aaron. And now that he's back, maybe that will happen. I love her in Dotten together. I think that both of those connections, obviously they have tons of chemistry.

they seem like they make each other happy they laugh together you know all of these like critical things in a relationship i think are there for both of them and it's too bad like i've talked to people i'm sure you guys have had this conversation with people too in that it's possible to fall i it didn't happen to me but i know that it's possible for for the lead to fall in love with multiple people and I think that it's clear that that has happened this season and it breaks my heart for not only her because that's so hard to have to choose and I would assume

and I mean I was freaking crying the first rose ceremony of my season so like getting down to like the two that you've told that you're in love with I can't even imagine and obviously for the guy whoever you know for guys, since Aaron Vee is kind of in the situation, too. What will happen, it's just heartbreaking. But I know whatever happens, they'll all land on their feet and they'll be fine. And I'm a firm believer and everything happens for a reason.

And I think that she can't go wrong. The last guys are quality guys to me. And they seem like they are really truly vibing. So I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adapted strategy

which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a lot of. a good outcome as a result of it if it's going to be beneficial to you because it's easy to say like like go you go blank yourself right it's easy it's easy to just drink the extra beer it's easy to ignore to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way avoidance is easier ignoring is easier denial is easier drinking is easier yelling screaming is easy complex problem solving meditating you know takes effort listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart radio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So in the last month, the Midas Touch Network beat Rogan, Tucker Carlson, Candice Owens, Charlie Kirk, and Ben Shapiro all combined.

Conservative podcasts can have a major political impact, but the Myceles Brothers, three siblings with a serious media strategy, are building an alternative to that. On the latest episode of Next Question with Katie Couric, I sat down with the brothers behind the Midas Touch Network to talk. To talk about how they built a progressive media powerhouse from the ground up, why audience interaction is the key to political influence and what it takes to fight disinformation at scale, one download at a time. We should be focusing on the issues that actually occupy a lot of the mental space in Americans' minds but are filled with conspiracies, and we should fill it with the truth and solutions. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast.

or wherever you get your podcasts. Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space, but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that. I'd love for you to break down why it was so important for you to do C. You can't win as something you didn't create.

From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Belisha's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake, capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If she could, you know, reach out to anyone at this point in the show and she reached out to you in the current situation she's in, what advice would you give her? So before I went on the show, I actually remember who gave me this advice actually.

I'm trying to remember It might have been my mom I can't remember but the best advice I think that I would even give my kids is you have to choose the person that you are going

that you can't live without essentially so if she is envisioning the next day the next week the next year and she thinks she's going to miss one of them more than that's who she needs to choose. I think it's different for every person. Like for me, I wanted to feel safe.

I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to be happy and have fun. And so it's all about like what qualities did she have going into the show that are really important to her and kind of reflecting on those qualities that make her who she is and make her happy and whether that's like good family life or you know like having babies or um i don't know whatever's important to her i think really reflecting on who you are as a person um and then thinking about the guys and who really fits into that life best. lovely advice that's great advice yeah wow

this is really good advice they should have you as a coach you are a mother you are a mother is this um almost 20 years almost so you know not for nothing almost famous OG your podcast um do you guys talk about this stuff like what goes on on that podcast yeah so um we usually have like OG people um we've interviewed a lot of like people from older seasons and we either talk about what's happening in their life or for the current season I actually watched the first episode live with Sadie Robertson who was on the Renzo season back in the day and who is hysterical. She's in L.A. She does a lot of TV stuff so you might recognize the name. And then Courtney Roberts, no, I said Sadie Robertson. I mixed their

names up. Sadie and then Courtney Robertson from Ben's season. Thank you. Yes. We had her on our pocket. That's why I thought we were talking about. Yes. So we actually watched this show together. We played it on each of our computers and then

like hit play at the same time. And we commented through the whole show. So really it's just a mix of talking about old seasons, current season with older people, if you will. It's a lot of fun. I mean, I can't not have a good time with Bob Guinea. He just makes me laugh. He's hysterical.

We're good friends to this day. And, um, you know, I'm sure you guys feel the same way. It's just fun to podcast. I was always drawn to radio interviews too, even more than television because of the energy of like radio hosts. Like, you really have to be good at your job and have great energy as a radio host because people at least until Zoom weren't seeing. you, you know. And so I just, I love podcast. I love chatting with people and especially people for my little Bachelor Nation fan. Nice. Okay. All right. Well, our listeners, make sure, make sure to tune in. One more question, Trista, before we're going to play a quick game with you and then we'll let you get out of here because we're taking out of your time. And I want an honest answer here.

Okay. All right. Your children. When they are of the age. I was like, is he going to ask me who my favorite child is like real biological children not your bachelor nation children when they are of the age and if they are single and one of them approaches you and says hey ma

I think I'm going to go on the show how do you handle that situation well maybe my daughter's talking to me I'm sitting in her room right now I can't, I would be so hypocritical if I told either one of them not to do. So number one, I couldn't not tell them. I couldn't tell them no because it's how I met their father and how they actually exist.

So I mean, you know, but I will say that I, if they wanted to, I can guarantee you that Max will never go on a show. show like this. He is his father. He, yeah, definitely not drawn to that stuff. But my daughter, on the other hand, I can totally see her wanting to do something like that. We've actually talked about, they do a dancing with a dancing with the stars juniors. And she's a dancer. She's a competitive dancer. And I literally wrote Dina Katz, who I know is still, I probably was still doing the show when you were there. I wrote her and I'm like hey if you ever need a team so I know that she would do something like that

or could see herself Max definitely wouldn't so he's definitely not even part of this conversation but I would just give her a whole lot of advice we would have a lot of conversations about what happens on the show she's been back for the Bachelorette reunion when that happened I think it was like four or five years ago she came with me and she loves

all of those ladies I mean it just was the cutest thing seeing her with Jojo and Rachel and Caitlin and all of them it was just really sweet

so I could totally see her wanting to do it would we be happy about it it would be a little scary for me but like I said total hypocrite if I said no so I'd have to say yes well the way it sounds

I feel like Max is going to be the one that actually doesn't. Could you imagine? It's going to be like the greatest bachelor of all time. The best, the greatest love story ever. If we have children, I feel the same.

Like I couldn't say no. Also, they're like adults by the time they go on the show. So like you can't really control that. But like, and obviously, yes, I agree with you.

Like I would feel hypocrital who we met and fell in love on the show. But I would have so much anxiety with them going on it. Like, I would be like, are you sure? Are you sure you want to do it? Like, there's just so much that comes with it. There's so much risk.

Like, oh my God. Like, I can't imagine. But yeah, you have to say yes, I guess. We all do. I would have to. Like, I couldn't say, oh, no. You can't do that. Like, whatever.

For whatever my reasons would be. The fact of the matter is that I actually still believe in the premise of the show. I know I'm old school. I am the OG, the old gal, whatever you want to call me. I believe that people can fall in love through the show. Is it totally untraditional? Is it totally wackadoodle crazy? Yes, it is.

But I still believe that it can happen. So because of that, if she wanted to do it, if Max wanted to do it, then of course, I would support. Nice, nice. I love Dina Katz, by the way. And also, you know, I met, I don't know, if she was your agent or still reps you I met her a while back Babette Perry

Yeah Okay nice Not Babette She was actually involved in the wedding negotiations So she was with me Way back in the day She's awesome Okay wait one question before we do the game

I'm sorry I always do this Joe will be like one last question And then I'll be like wait no one actual last question So our wedding is coming up. It's in like a month-ish. Do you have any wedding tips, 20-year marriage tips for us going into this time? Yeah, one. Okay, so I'm so excited for you guys. Thank you.

For some reason, I thought you were already married. We are. We're legally married, but we're having the ceremony in a month. Okay, that's what. Okay, that's right. Yeah. Um, so I asked, one of my best friends, her dad, um, was celebrating like their 50th wedding anniversary or something. And I asked him what his advice was. And he had like five things. But one of them was, uh, forgiveness. And it's not like in terms, like with Xavier, like the big

kind of infidelities. Like obviously that's something that the couple would have to work out. But I feel like I have to, and Ryan has to, too, because we are not perfect. We are human and we have bad days and we feel like crap some days. And sometimes we just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Sometimes we have too much stress going on, whatever. Sometimes we say stuff that we don't mean that is hurtful to the other person. We ignore the other person because we have something else that's, priority in that moment and so I think that forgiveness is huge just for giving each other for the

little moments that you've heard each other's feelings you know for whatever reason um I I feel like for any in any part of your relationship that's important but especially the longer you are together you know um I like that because you get comfortable and you treat the people that you love the most the worst sometimes because you are so comfortable in that relationship. So, you know, I just think it's about the little forgivenesses every day, every week, every month, whatever, whenever they happen. And hopefully you guys won't have to forgive each other for anything. But just knowing that you're human and you both are going to have bad days in the future, hopefully not as many as good days. But just forgiving each other for.

That's great. And I mean, I have to forgive Jeff. Take that in, Serena, because I am perfect. I'm always forgiving him. Honestly. We just have the exact opposite thing at the third time. Take it in, Serena. Take that in.

This is the third time Joe's called himself perfect on this podcast today. So I'll be forgiving him for that at the end of this. Oh, God. I love it. Look. All right. We're going to do a little quick game. Trista, rapid fire.

First thing that comes to your head. All easy, fun questions. You want to shoot up? You go. Sure. I got it. Okay. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

I shouldn't say it, but look at my phone. Us too. Normal. That's normal. We all do it. How do you like your pizza? Ooh. Oh, God, I can learn a lesson or two.

Aren't you from Chicago, Joe? Yeah. Yeah. I do. Oh, sorry. I'm from St. Louis. Emo's pizza. It is real fun.

Oh, no way. I'm sure you hate it. It's not deep dish Chicago, and I do love deep dish. but emo is my favorite it's Prevelle cheese It is the strangest tasting pizza Ever have you had it Yeah I drove there to try it yeah

Oh my God is that the one you went with With Alex yeah oh my gosh That's so funny I've heard about this pizza But I get it like if you're from there you love it And that I understand Ryan hates it and he's not from there so yeah It's a hometown thing What is the best dating advice you ever received

or the best marriage advice. Pick the one that you're, that you can't let with that. Can't let that. What is your go-to cocktail? Mmm, masca mule. Oh, that's a good one.

Who is one person living or not that you would like to have dinner with? Oh, oh. It's actually my grandparents, um, is the grand anniversary today? Both of my grandparents on my mom's side and my dad's side have passed, and I feel like it is their birthday. So we would love to do a little joint.

Oh, that's nice. My answer to that would be my grandma too. What is one word or phrase that your friends use to describe you? Oh, no. Loyal. Loyal. That's me. I have to say my grandparents are who I named, we named our daughter after.

Oh, really? Oh, that's beautiful. Okay. Do you have any bad habits? Who doesn't? And if you don't, what's your secret? If you don't, you're a liar. I pick my nails.

So these are like glue on, yeah. They help me to not pick my nail. my worst habit. I hate it. I feel like people that have the habit of doing their nails, it's like you either have it or you don't. If you do, it's like so addicting. Like I've never thought it picking my nails in my life, but then I have a friend that does really bad. And she's like, I can't stop for life. Me. I love it. It's me. Yeah. I hate it. I hate it. I wish I could change it. I'm 50 years old. I haven't been able to figure it out. So yeah. Hate to love it. What is your go-to karaoke song? I do not sing karaoke.

No, never? Same. Even after a few Moscow meals? Ah, yeah, no. No, and because my husband would chill me if we went to karaoke. Like, chill. Joe would, I would never drag Joe to karaoke, it would just never happen. Yep, there you go.

What is your current screensaver on your phone? It is this. It's like a hike that we went on Beaver Lake in Colorado. Is it that pretty? Like all the flowers? That is beautiful. You guys still live in Colorado, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. Is that where your husband's from? He's from Fort Collins, which is where Colorado State is. And then he went to see you. He moved to Vail before I met him. And then we've been here for 20 years. We're actually moving to Denver, which is a whole other story. But for multiple, multiple reasons.

do truly love them out. It's just beautiful. Yeah. That would be great. We should go. I've never, I was going to say, I've never been, but I feel like I would love it. I feel like it's kind of giving Canadian vibes. I mean, I can show you like out my window. Yeah. It's just Oh my gosh. Yeah. It literally looks like Canada. It's beautiful. I love it. And in the summer, so what the phrase is that you come for the winter and you stay for the summer. Yeah. We can make summers. We're in New York. There's people smoking cigarettes in our hallway right now.

Yeah, it doesn't smell. It doesn't smell like where you are here. Like we stepped out of a car the other day and our friend Natasha goes, and we're back in the city. It smells like gasoline and urine. We're like, yeah. Yay. That is actually something that when you step off a plane in Colorado,

like you're like, oh, yeah. No pollution. No, nothing. It's really fresh. That is very nice. probably a lot healthier for you. A little bit. Last question is if you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Oh, wow, too many places. Maybe back to Fiji, like I'm getting these Fiji vibes. Ryan and I went on our honeymoon to Fiji. And now that charity's there, I kind of want to go back. I was just saying. We cannot change the honeymoon. Don't start. I took months planning this honeymoon.

And Joe has changed our honeymoon so many times. I'm like, can we just change it one more time? We can go to Fiji now. Right? Where are you guys going? Italy. Italy? Yeah.

We're doing Lake Como, Florence, and Tuscany, which are all places in Italy that we've never been. So actually, I've been to Florence once for like a half day. But yeah, we're very excited. Oh my gosh. Love it. And the food, like, come on. Oh, yeah.

All of our dinner reservations, I believe, are a book. There are. There. I booked everything. You're on it. He's amazing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm on. I got transportation book, dinners, everything. I know everywhere to go for everything. Yeah. I love it. You got you a keeper, Serena. He is the travel agent of the relationship, which is the best thing ever. Well, Trista, honestly, this was incredibly fun and enjoyable. Thank you so much for being here. And to our listeners, thank you guys for tuning in without you. We wouldn't be here.

And don't forget, next week is The Mental All. So make sure to tune in on Monday at 8-7 Central on ABC and then stream the next day on Hulu to see Charity, reunited with all the men, and also reunited with Trista. Yes, and make sure to tune in to new episodes of Bachelor Happy Hour every week. We're going to have some great guests now. We've got all kinds of exclusive interviews coming up so you don't want to forget to subscribe. Thanks again, everyone. See you next time. Bye.

Bye. Thanks for having you. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the Psychology Podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched. and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names

in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Death World Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.