Bachelor Happy Hour - Unpacking Fantasy Suites

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Today on “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Joe and Serena explain why this week in the Fantasy Suites has them rethinking their certainty on how this season ends. Did Joey’s explanation of those awkward comments from his uncle provide Charity with the clarity she needed? Was Xavier right to answer questions about his thoughts on cheating the way he did? Was the physical chemistry between Dotun and Charity enough to lock in Charity’s final rose? Listen now and let us know your thoughts!   Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier.

Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the. iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the Union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone

that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched and just say thank you. Like, they will punch back. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain.

I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, and I

Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. What's up, Bachelor Nation? Welcome back to another episode of Happy Hour. I am here with my lovely co-host, Serena. I'm here with my lovely co-host, Joe. How's it going, Joe?

Good. I'm feeling pretty good. You know what's coming up? Our second wedding. Our second wedding. You picked up the wedding rings today. I did. We picked up our wedding bands. We had a fun call with Wells the other day to go over our ceremony,

started talking about our vows. It's all coming together. Yeah, I made a joke about eternity. Like, are we going to actually take this into eternity if there is an eternity? Yes, he did make a joke. Joe's trying to figure out where the line is of like marriage. Like, okay, so like we're married today. We're married tomorrow. We're married till the end of our lives.

But like if eternity exists, like are we married in eternity? And the answer is yes, we are. Okay. Well, I will say this. And I joke around about the wedding ring. Yes. Like, I don't want to wear a ring, but I, you know, I joke. I will say, I don't know if I put on the ring and I don't know if I can wear a ring.

I'm not a ring guy. I'm not a jewelry guy. Look, most men, I would say a lot of men, maybe not most, but a lot of men don't wear jewelry until they get married. Like my dad has never put a piece of jewelry on his body except for his wedding ring. But like you get used to it. And you like your ring.

You were excited about it when we got it. I like it. I think it's a very pretty ring. And I think it looks good. I just, it's like, oh, no. Now I got something else on my body? Else opposed to what? Like clothes?

Like clothes and now a ring? No, I'm pro nudist. No, no, no, no, no. Just to clear my, Joe is not pro nudist. Okay, so something that has been requested. it. We used to do it on my old podcast, Quickbait. It was Bachelor Nation breakdown. And for all you guys listening, it's basically just a rundown of what's going on with past alum. So we're going to start bringing that back at the top of these episodes. And if you don't like it,

then now DM us and be like, yeah, stop doing that. And then, well, you know, if we get enough DMs, then we'll probably stop. First, first headline, which is, in my opinion, the biggest one. Gabby Wendy, she was part of the Bachelette, Gabby and Rachel. I'm sure you all know who she is. She just announced that she is in a new relationship with a woman. She did. She went on the view, I believe it was, and did a sit-down chat. I guess that there has been speculation for a while.

She posted an Instagram story saying that people have been curious about her dating life and what's been happening. And, yeah, she announced that she's dating Robbie Hoffman, who I believe is a comedian slash writer slash comedy writer and they're a beautiful couple. We're super happy and supportive of Gabby. Makes sense. She's with a comedian. Gabby is someone who's naturally funny.

Yes, she's incredibly witty. We actually went paintballing with her like a month ago and she's just a very comedic person naturally. Terrible paintballer though. That's okay. That's a skill people can live without. Gabby is not, yeah, cannot paintball. You know what? I wasn't any good.

None of us were. No, that was a fun day. But yeah, good for Gabby. If she's happy, we're happy, and we wish her the best on our new relationship, yeah? Absolutely. What else we got? Amanda Stanton's pregnant.

Yes, Amanda Stanton. Amanda Stanton. Yeah, I knew that. That one I knew for sure. Amanda, she has two daughters already. She has two daughters with, yes. She has two daughters, and now she is pregnant with, her third baby with her new husband and super exciting.

They just had their wedding and now they've got a new baby on the way. I'm sure her daughters are excited to have another sibling and yeah. Her daughters are really cute. She makes beautiful, beautiful babies. So she should absolutely continuing to, she should continue to reproduce as much as possible. Keep going, Amanda. Okay. And then we also have another ex-batchelette, Claire Crawley, is having a baby girl.

Yes. She announced that she was having a baby via surrogate a few weeks back. And now that we know that it's a little girl, we're so excited for her. I feel like she'll be a good girl mom. I think so too. Yeah. I think so too. Happy for clerk. And then we do have one hard launch. He was the host of another Bachelor podcast talking Get Out with Mike and Brian. And Mike came on clickbait. I want to say it was probably like close to three months ago. And he had told him. told us after the podcast, he might have said it on the podcast that he was in a relationship and was really like serious about it. And you can tell he was all giddy and everything. So I was really trying to press them on who it was. And he just posted her on Instagram. Yes. But I don't believe, correct me my wrong, I don't think he tagged her or showed her face. Or show her face. Yes, Mike. And if you're listening to this, you got to give us more details because this is now our business and we would like to know. It was such a team.

Geez. I was like, I want to stalk this girl. Who is she? I mean, she looks beautiful from the back. I'm sure she's equally stunning from the front. But he's keeping it very private and low key, which I feel like that is kind of his style. Yeah. Yeah. It's the, it's a like thing to do. Yeah. But very, very happy for Mike Johnson, for Gabby, for Amanda, for Claire. This was all such great news this week. Lots to be happy and excited about in Bachelor Nation. Yes. Just remember, Bachelor Nation breakdown. You can always get it here first. So hit that subscribe. button whenever you feel like it. Okay, it's time. My favorite episode of season, Fantasy Suites. I love Fantasy Suites. Yeah. I feel like it just picks up so quick after hometowns going into Fantasy Suites and you're just, it's three episodes of nonstop, juiciness, love, drama, all the good stuff. And they're in Fiji. So we got a beautiful location. How far is Fiji from New York? It's not close. It's not close. Because it looks really beautiful and I kind of want to go now.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know exactly. I could be wrong. I would say it's probably one of those things that'll take a day to get to. Oh, gosh. Yeah, I think it's kind of similar like Bali. It may even be further. I feel like you're not

correct. Really? You want to bet? No, I don't want to bet. I just feel like you're throwing it like you're throwing stuff at the wall right now. Like, I don't think you really know. That's most of my life. It's just throwing stuff at a wall. But I will say, I bet you, I bet you cannot get there from New York in under 22 hours. Okay. How far is Fiji from New York by plane? Oh, 15 hours and 30 minutes.

That's far. That's far. That's really far. But I mean, looks beautiful. Looks worth it. Looks worth the trip. I was going to say maybe we should change our honeymoon to Fiji for the 17th honeymoon switch. But I have booked this honeymoon to it is perfect. I have all dinner reservations already booked. They got all the hotels books.

I got most of the transportation book. I couldn't have done a better job. We won't be changing. We won't be changing our honeymoon. It's locked in. It's all set. So Fiji will have to wait to another time.

Okay. So let's get into it. Xavier is up first. Yes. The date starts off. You know, fine. Yeah, I mean, they're on a beautiful beach in Fiji. They're doing some ceremonial traditions. Yeah. It seems like that they're both enjoying and connecting on. I think the

sexual attractions there, I think they have chemistry. At this point, I don't see any reason why Xavier would not make it to the fantasy suite. Absolutely. I mean, I feel like, yeah, there's no red flags. I feel like we rarely see it where people go to a fantasy suite date and don't make it into the fantasy suite. Like, I think if the lead is bringing you into fantasy suite week, there's a good chance they are like at least like 90% sure that they want to take into the fantasy suite. And the day of date, oh, you disagree with that? I do disagree with that. I feel like, I feel like there's been a decent amount of seasons where only the top two end up

making that. Yeah, I guess so. I'm trying to think back to the past season. I mean, I'm going back to Matt. Zach had all three women, which we know for certain, go to the fantasy suite. Did he? Clayton had all three women go to the fantasy suite. Um, Rachel and Gabby was an unconventional season. So they had like differing numbers, I believe. All right. You know what, disregard that I said about them. Let's just keep going. Okay. Anyway, let's skip to the dinner portion. J. Portion was good. It was solid. It gets exciting. Xavier now opens up

which is not easy because he made a mistake in the past. Then he had to complain on that he had cheated on his ex. Yes. Which we all know that's Charity's biggest fair. She was cheated on in the past. Also

has been saying the entire season that Xavier reminded her of her ex. Yeah. the stars could not have aligned less in this situation. Like for her to say all season, he reminds me of my ex, have this fear of his readiness to commit to her, this uncertainty was Xavier.

Now I feel like after home comes, they finally reached a point where she's like really kind of leaning into this relationship wholeheartedly and then him to say, yeah, by the way, I cheated on my ex. I mean, she had a really like intense story of being with her ex on and off for six years and being cheated on,

I believe it was multiple times. Like, this is a serious topic for her. And like not a great time to be bringing it up. Not that there's ever really a good time to bring this up on the show. But like, yes. That's where I want to talk.

That's where I want to talk what I want to talk about. Because as a viewer, you know, it's easy to say you should have brought this up earlier. And yeah, he should have brought it up earlier. But being in that position, he was probably deathly afraid of bringing it up and her just automatically sending him home.

Absolutely. And you get so little time with the lead on this show that I can imagine he was like, I don't want this to be like the first thing she learns about me. Like I want her to get to know me for who I am and even see if there's like a mutual connection before I lay this out there. Yeah. I mean, he still could, I mean, I feel like he could have probably did it at the night portion of his one-on-one day. I think that would have been appropriate.

Because he was opening up then, so to drop it then, I don't necessarily know if Charity would have sent him home from that. See, I don't know if she would have sent him home. I think that this would have been an issue really no matter what the timing, because kind of the direction, conversation went it just went downhill like it just felt like a snowball rolling down to hell like picking up speed because she i thought was very calm about the whole thing and i thought she handled it really well honestly like regardless if if he would have told her earlier and she would have sent him home like he could have got out of that she was giving him out yeah and he kept digging himself deeper he kept saying um what do you say if um if i choose if you choose me and

I choose you, it was like, Xavier, like, just, just chill out. But he couldn't, he could not say, he could not give her the reassurance that he wouldn't cheat. No, he couldn't. And that's all she was looking for. She was like, okay, you know, you cheated in your past relationship. He told her he cheated on his ex-girlfriend multiple times over the course of five days on a boy's trip. And she basically wanted to hear from him like, I made a mistake. This is what I've done to like learn from that.

and make sure I don't do it again in the future and I can sit here and tell you like I won't do it again and I think that's really what she was looking to hear and he could not give her that but I don't think he believed that I don't think he believes in himself to be able to not do it again and that's not to say Xavier is going to go out and like cheat on everyone he dates I just think he lacks confidence in himself right now I like he kept saying like if I go on a boy's trip

like you know there's temptation everywhere like that is not what I want to hear. And if that's the truth, if that's genuinely how he feels like he is worried about giving it to temptation, he is not ready. That's it. I was just going to say it's as simple as he's just not, like he's just not. He may want to be, but he's clearly not. And that was the thing. Like he said like in his heart, I won't, in my heart, I won't cheat, but in my head, it's telling me up. It was just like, okay, like you just clearly aren't ready. He's been struggling with this the whole season. What did he say? He said it a few times.

Oh, it's scary to think of just being with one woman. Yes, yes. And it's okay to be scared, but I think his fear goes past just like the, you know, I'm ready for this, but the unknown is scary and committing to someone for the rest of your life can be scary. I think all the signs are pointing to he's not ready for this. And that's okay. But he definitely needed to go home. the biggest line that he said that really stuck out to me

was he kept saying, I don't want to cheat on you. I was like Xavier that you can't say that it's I won't cheat on you and if it's I don't want to cheat on you but it doesn't like that doesn't mean he won't do it like he couldn't give her any certainty.

He's just saving himself for the future for when he cheats and I cheat it but I told you before I didn't want to. Yeah I didn't want to do it I didn't want to do it but something made me do it like you know but like we do have to give him a little a little bit of grace here because I mean he was honest like no I respect him for being honest for being honest because he could have just you know he could have lied he could have said like I'll never cheat on you again I would never do it again he could have not told her in the first place like he definitely fully opened

up and was completely honest with her and every question she asked I believe he was giving her an honest answer. And I do respect that. I just think when it comes down to it, he wasn't ready. Charity and him were not going to work out after that conversation. And there was really no other option than for him to go home. Hi, it's Gemma Spegg, host of the psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September at The Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting ways psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode, why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own.

I found a study that said not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place. Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life, and of course your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long time, allow Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative

and Democrats decided to play into that and that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on next question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where, she is. Her intensity

makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people. And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that

led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like I carry that weight with me because you You're seeing it up close. Yeah.

Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell,

Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about Thurley before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realized just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem? I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Raw. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music,

and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So Xavier goes home, which I think is for the best. It's definitely for the best for both of them. Because, yeah, it doesn't seem like he was ready. And that's it. So Xavier's gone.

Let's go to the next fantasy suite, Joey. Joey's here. He's ready. Now we see Joey kind of at the beginning before he meets charity expressed that he was a little worried because last time he saw Charity, she was getting in a car and she was upset and he doesn't think that she gave him the real reason she was upset. Yeah. When she got in the car, she was saying, you know, I'm just really upset. I'm going to really miss you, which I'm sure was part of it. She really cares about him. You could tell they have a strong connection. But we saw that she had a really unsettling conversation with Joey's uncle. And I think that the conversation between Charity and Joey about that was the one that we've all been waiting for during this date. Yeah. And so we see Charity opens up. You know, we see in the interviews, she's extremely excited to see Joey. Oh yeah She's bouncing up and down

Yeah Which I wasn't I don't know I was not expecting that I just think that you and I have had such like Hard Eyes for Dotten and her connection This whole season And now it's coming out to me That like

Dotten and Joey are neck and neck At this point Like her connection with Joey has always been strong But I think this episode I'm like whoa It is actually way stronger than I think I realized. You really, really saw it so evidently in this episode

how much they like each other. So the front end of their date, or charity pulls up in an ATV, kind of let Joey know who's going to be the boss in the bedroom. She comes in strong. Unfortunately, the ATV was a busted ATV because it kept breaking. And then they had to walk through the forest,

which was, you know, nice this franchise loves an ATV date I think there's always a four-wheeler date on every single season including Paradise

yeah well honestly you know when you think about it like how many data I mean how many date options really are there you know I like it I think it's fun

I think it would be a fun date to be on yeah but yeah there's always one but I've never seen it break down before so yeah

breaks down but they have they do end up having that serious conversation by like a waterfall they talk about Joey's uncle and Joey basically opens up like it's not that I'm a fake person but you know I come across very positive and I love that part of me but there is another part of me that sometimes turns it off and I'm not always you know this happy go lucky guy which we could all you know understand but I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm that way.

Yeah, and I can relate to that as well as someone. Like, I like to be a positive, nice, upbeat person. I would say that's who I am majority of the time. And I like that about myself. But then sometimes it makes it harder to be like, oh, let me just turn that side off and be a bummer today kind of thing. But I do think that Joey's uncle's concerns, because Joey openly said on the tennis court, you know, me now having to.

leave the date for the first time. My uncle's showing up out of nowhere. Like, I felt uncomfortable. Like, I didn't feel good. I felt thrown off. I felt a little out of my element. And that is probably what my uncle was picking up on. And it makes sense that maybe his uncle was attributing him being a little awkward to like, oh, if this is how he's been the whole season, this is not the real Joey. But in reality, it was just that one moment he caught him kind of out of his element.

I think Joey's been himself. He seems like a really authentic guy. I don't have a lot of worries about that as a viewer. Yeah, I think he was just like, yeah, I'm not perfect. And it's like, yeah, no shit. I mean, there can only be one perfect Joe in this franchise and you got him. But yeah, so they go. But anyways, you can see Charity's happy.

That felt like a real genuine conversation. And they go to the night portion, the dinner, Joey. tells her he loves her and charity says it back okay I wish I had filmed our reaction to that obviously I didn't because I didn't know it was coming

but you and I like your face was just as shocked as my face yeah because we I don't know we just been pushing this narrative amongst each other of like no one says I loved you till the very end to the last person which isn't true at all like there's been multiple seasons where that happens

I just don't think I expected charity to do it because she took so long to express that she's falling in love with these people and I feel like she just kind of got there and now she's dropping the I love views and I also just think that when you say I love you to

multiple people on this show, it gets messy. It always does. It always makes it messier no matter what. So I don't know. I think I just didn't expect her to do that. Yeah, I wasn't expecting it either but it was entertaining and I enjoyed it and they both

are now in love They're in love Like she was whipping out The I love you's left right and center In the morning after their date After their date They do the fantasy suites I love you's happen

And then when he leaves She cries So now I'm watching I'm like Joey She's winning Like she's winning Joey Joey's ending up with her Like this is it

Oh yeah Like I've been like I've been like It's Dotten For the past like five episodes And now I'm like, I have literally no clue. I think it might be Joey. Who's Doughton?

And now we get to Doughton's day. Hi, it's Jemisbeg, host of the Psychology of your 20s. Remember when you used to have Science Week at school? Well, if you loved that, how would you feel about a full psychology month? This September, the Psychology of your 20s, we're breaking down the interesting one. psychology applies to real life, like how our pets actually change our brain chemistry, the psychology of office politics, whether happiness is even a real emotion, and my favorite episode, why do we all secretly crave external validation? It's so interesting to me that we are so

quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own. I found a study that said, Not being liked actually creates similar levels of pain as physical pain. Like, no wonder we care so much. So the secret is, if you want to be okay with not being liked, you have to know why your brain craves it in the first place. Learn more about the psychology of external validation, everyday life, and of course, your 20s, this September. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think Democrats have, for a very long, time, allow Republicans to play them. So essentially, Republicans came up with a narrative, and Democrats decided to play into that. And that only hurt the Democrats. I'm Kitty Couric. Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas, is not known for holding back. And our recent chat on Next Question is no exception. But when you hear how she got to where she is, her intensity makes perfect sense. It's just hard to imagine. in a world where you don't have enough people that care to do right by people.

And so that same passion that carried me through as a public defender that led me to want to change laws and thinking about the harm that will happen not just to my constituents, but just generally, like, I carry that weight with me because you've seen it up close. Yeah. Listen to next question with me, Katie Couric on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast. podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years.

I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about thoroughly before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realize just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem? I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Ross.

From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. where it's kind of like oh but okay but then you know and it's because that date follows the joey date i feel like the beginning as a viewer felt a little more awkward than it actually was but i think it was pretty smooth the whole time and you can see charities really into dot and he's really into her he i wrote down he is um too emotionally intelligent for me half the time he's talking, I'm like, at this point, I don't even know what he saw it. He's incredibly

well spoken and he's incredible at articulating how he's feeling. I didn't find it awkward necessarily. I just think that with Joey's daytime date, like they were doing an activity, they were walking, there was the waterfall, they had something like very specific to be talking about in regards like his hometown with

Charity and Dot and it just felt more of like a chill date where they were just like swimming. They were on this beautiful sandbar talking about their feelings. Like it was just a little more low key. But I couldn't believe it when Doughton said, oh, I had no idea how the show ends. So I just, and if you haven't listened to our Doughton interview, you should go back and listen to it because it kind of explains he got on the show in kind of an interesting fast turnaround way. So he doesn't really know what he was signing up for.

And he asked one of the guys like, oh, how does this end? Like what happens at the end? And they were like, you get engaged. And he was like, oh, I'm down for that. Like, I'm in love with her. She's the person I watched my life with. Like, I'm down to get engaged. And, like, that to me is so cool because you know, you know, for a fact, like, this guy didn't come on the show to, like, fake an engagement.

He's not going to fake an engagement. He's not going to do it just because she wants to do it or he feels pressure to it. Like, he genuinely is stoked about getting engaged to this girl after, like, two months. Like, that just goes to show how much he loves her. I agree. I think he, I think he is very much in love with her. And I think she loves him too. You think, you know, we know she does.

Yeah, because she does say it later on. We'll get to that. And he kept saying, this is, you know, this is a fairy tale. And so they leave the island and then they go to the date portion. And if you watched and saw them walking to dinner in the hallway, he kind of like pulls her to the side and like mix out with her and more of like a like a sexy. aggressive like let's get it on type of way and you like I was like oh she's into him this is wow I didn't realize that part was such a standout to you

Joe's like oh yeah it was a great makeup no because it was just like you could just tell like all the I don't know like sometimes the day you're like is there like there's chemistry but are they is there sexual chemistry yeah and we see it in that hallway where like these two people are really into each other. And you need that at the beginning of a relationship. Absolutely. No, they definitely have really good sexual chemistry. Yeah. So they have, um, they have dinner. And yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of the same like, you know, like really into you. I'm really into you. And then Doughton drops that he loves her. And now I'm sitting back on my wall. Is she going to say again? Does she love two people?

And she does. she says it she loves them she's in love with two people and i could genuinely i like i honestly at this point i'm like okay two guys left she loves them both she's very happy with both of them and they both love her how are we going to do this all i keep thinking a thruple situation a thruple situation interesting that would be a first yeah no i just i'm like i i have no idea how this is going to go so What I keep thinking is that the breakup with Xavier was obviously hard, but it was very evident that they weren't going to be able to end up together and probably a little bit easier to shut that door after the way the conversation went. However, her breakup with Aaron B. at the Rose Ceremony after hometowns, she took it really hard. She definitely is going to have a hard time with these breakups, understandably so.

What she's doing isn't easy. She's in love with two people. her having to send one of them home in the finale is going to wreck her. Yeah. Like, it is going to squash her heart. I know. I know. I feel so like my heart hurts for her, just knowing what she's going to have to do.

Yeah. It's good. I think that's going to be rough. But I think if there is an engagement at the end, like the joy that comes from that will pull her out of it. And then the unlucky fella that gets his heartbroken. He's just going to be heartbroken. Okay, but we see Dotten. She also cries when Dotten.

So at this point, now we're watching, like Joey and Dotten, like you said, like, how is she going to do this? Like, how is she going to choose? And then that's it. We think the episode's over. But no, Aaron B's back. Now we were joking before. we're like, it's probably just going to be Nehemiah. It was probably creepy.

I thought for sure it was going to be Nehemiah. Actually, no, I didn't. Who did you think it was? I thought it was good. I didn't. Oh, okay. Well, originally we thought it was going to be her ass. Yeah, that's what I thought.

I thought it was going to be her ass. And then we were like, I think it's going to be Nehemi because she seems kind of happy to see this person, which I wouldn't have been mad about Nehemi. But Aaron B coming back is definitely a bigger twist than I expected. So Aaron B comes back. He goes up, he tries to get her. room number and the hotel receptionist is like, no, we don't, we don't do that here. Which honestly, thank God.

Yeah. Like, you've got to follow protocol. You got to protect people's privacy. Imagine she was just like, oh, yeah, Charity's in Room 801 down the hall. Yeah. No one's staying at that hotel again. Yeah, yeah, agreed. So he ends up seeing charity.

Now, I think, I think people are probably initially are like, Aaron, why did you come back? Why did you do this? But they can't really have that opinion now because Charity's happy to see him. Oh, yeah. She's way happier than I thought she was going to be. I know. I didn't think she was going to be upset, but I thought it would be a lot of like shock and anxiety. And she was like giddy.

Yeah. I feel like when the lead let's go the fourth and fifth person, you see them, you visibly see them upset. But I'm always like that they were pretty sure on their decision. And she was clearly very unsure. I think one of the worst things you can say in a breakup, and I'm not in any way like condemning charity for saying this. Like I think a lot of people say it. And I think this was true when she said it.

But I think it's hard to say, I don't know if I'm making the right decision when you're breaking up with someone. because I totally understand. It leaves the door open for them to come back. It leaves the door open for them to come back. It leaves the door open for them to be like, well, if they're not sure, maybe they'll change their mind

or maybe they'll realize that they didn't make the right decision and it should be me. And I feel like that actually might be happening in this case because he flew all the way to Fiji and she seems to be thinking like, hmm, is this my second chance? Did I make the right decision? Like she's still unsure.

Sure. Yeah. I liked when he dropped, I like your fit. I like your fit. Just the way he said it. What an opening line from Aaron V. Good to see you. I like your fit. She's like I need to take some time. He's like, oh, take as much time as you want, Charity. I like your fit, by the way. No, he was, it was actually very cute. Like, you could, I'm sure he was. You could see how tired he was. Yeah. I'm sure he's exhausted. He's nervous. And when she's giving him like such a good response. wants to show. Yep. He's like, take as much time you need like, I'll be done by the beach. Like, you can just tell he's like, oh my God. Like, this might have been worth it. Like, I don't know. I actually don't know what's going to happen here. I don't know if she's going to take him back or not. But yeah, I don't know. We don't know what's going to happen. Do you think Aaron B's connection could surpass Donton and Joey's at this point, though? Because I think that's what it comes down to.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know simply because charity doesn't know. So charity doesn't know how the fuck could any of us know, you know? Great point. You know, so I don't know what's going to happen. We're left on a cliffhanger, which is great. I cannot wait. But we'll see. And that wraps, that wraps, that wraps the recap. Make sure to subscribe if you're not already. We are dropping our interview with none other than Trista Sutter later this week. Thank you so much for listening. And we'll talk to you soon. I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the psychology podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about how to be a better you. When you think about emotion regulation, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome.

Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denials easier. Complex problem solving takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the latest episode of Next Question with me, Katie Couric, I sat down with Jasmine Crockett, Democratic Representative of Texas. She's holding out the fork for her party in one of the most conservative states in the union. I think that ultimately, who will become the Democratic nominee for president will be someone that has been out there and has shown that they won't allow themselves to be punched

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