Bachelor Happy Hour - Victoria P. Addresses Boyfriend Allegations and Her Time on ‘Bachelor in Paradise’

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Victoria P., the beauty queen from Peter Weber’s season of “The Bachelor,” joins Becca and guest co-host Tia to address the allegations that she went on “Bachelor in Paradise” while having a boyfriend back home. Victoria clears the air on the timeline of her past relationship, shares details on co-parenting her dog, and reveals what led to her decision to make a quick exit from the show.  Plus, Victoria shares the intimate details of her mental health journey, including what she has learned about conflict resolution. She also details her post-“Paradise” health scare. “Bachelor Happy Hour” has exclusive interviews every week. Watch “Bachelor in Paradise” on ABC and listen to “Bachelor Happy Hour” the next morning. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome back, Bachelor Happy Hour listeners. You guys, holy crap. I know we warned you last week that we were going to have two nights of paradise. And I felt like it was two weeks. packed into two episodes. This week was crazy. So much happened. But before we get into all of that,

please welcome one of my best friends, my incredible co-host, Tia. Thank you for coming back. I'm glad that I didn't scare you away last week. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, I did not expect the episodes to be this hot and heavy, this quick. If I wasn't taking notes, I would legitimately forget what the hell happened. Because there was so much. There's so freaking much. There's so much. It's like I have notes. Like if you guys could see my notes right now, I'm like starring everything of points that I really want to hit. And I know that we're not even can get around to half of it. But I got to start with this. Because this week we see Demi come in, you know, and she comes in hot. And I want to do the same for this podcast. And so, you know what?

We're going to come in with the big D energy, the big Demi energy. That's how she walked down onto the beach. She already was stirring the pot before she talked to everyone. But it was a lot. These poor girls, we wouldn't take their men. I love Demi. I mean, okay, listen, I've known Demi for a while now. I

freaking love her. I know she probably rubs people the wrong way, and we're going to have a lot of viewers and listeners saying whatever mean things you want to say, but Demi is Demi, and she just owns the shit out of who she is, and I'm here for it. She is so entertaining. If we didn't

have Demi right now, it wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be Paradise without her. So, yeah, we see her kick it off. Was it, this was the first day of the week, right? Where she takes Brendan. Yeah, she came in with a date card. Came in with the day card. Takes Brendan. I mean, you know, I, oh God, this is what I wanted to say. T. I just didn't even write this in my notes. For the dates that we saw, this week on the beach um well i told you this because we were in quarantine together but this is why i love having the podcast because we can give actual behind the scenes of like our side of things and even though we're not there yet we were in quarantine and i was watching all of these days go on outside of my hotel room and listen the video that was one that was one that was the first

say that I saw because I got told to go into my room because something might be happening on the beach and of course I don't listen. So I was sitting on my balcony. I had my big sunglasses on. I had one of those hair wraps. I was kind of like trying to live out what was happening on the dates and having a conversation. And so maybe if you all are lucky, I will share the true behind the scenes of what you actually didn't see. This was Dimmy and Brendan. This was I saw Demi and Brennan's, and I saw Thomas and Serena. They were a little bit farther down on the beach, so at first I didn't know it was Thomas and Serena until they walked closer in front of my balcony.

And in that case, I felt kind of creepy because I felt like it was like a dad and his daughter because of the height difference. The size difference. At first I was like, who the hell is this? Yeah. Who's dad is that? Who brought a dad to? Who's a size?

Who's shraproading? Yeah, who's daddy? Who brought the chaperone to paradise? No, so that's like, it's so funny now actually watching these dates back and hearing the conversation and what all went down because I had something totally different in my mind. But I will say, I did know it was Demi and Brendan because, I mean, Brendan, you can just tell from the hair. And the second I heard Demi laugh on the beach, I was like, oh, that's my baby. I was shocked that Demi was so. smitten kitten so fast with Brendan and was bummed out that he said he wanted to continue to talk to other

people. I've never seen Demi like that or I just I haven't either. I think but here's the thing and Demi I love you but I don't think she's used to people not being anyone saying no anyone saying no and so I think that was the first time where she was really like well what the hell I brought you on this date I took you out you know and so I yeah um she I don't blamber for feeling like that she's like why did i waste this date with you for you to say that but it's the eyes we know demi ain't gonna let that get her down right no not for long but it but it's the eyes brendon has these like oh piercing piercing blue ocean blue eyes that just kind of like like the ocean it sucks you in and so i get it i mean like all of the all of the women so far have been

mesmerized by brandon um and demi you know she couldn't resist the charm uh speaking of brenden we hear a lot of chit-chat behind the scenes about a potential relationship that he has back home with Piper, which I'm thinking like some foreshadowing there, but he's not the only one that people are talking about that may be in a relationship with somebody else. And he travels fast around that damn beach. Oh, yeah, two seconds. It's like the fastest game of telephone you've ever played. um speaking of foreshadowing for relationships that people may have before coming to paradise i will say we do have a guest coming on very shortly and that is victoria paul victoria p because she was somebody else who was in the midst of certain allegations and we're going to have her on very soon after we recap just so she can give her side of things say her piece kind of maybe put some of those rumors to bed uh if if they are put to bed who knows we will find out very soon Let's just kind of recap, give our main takeaways. I mean, drama with Victoria P.

She goes home. We see Kelsey go home and who else went home? Victoria L. The goddess. I'm honestly really sad because I wanted to meet her so bad. You were saying that. Yeah. I would just love to be in her presence in person.

Back to Serena C though. trying to hop on errand to get to stay. And I'm like, no shame, girl. Listen, everyone was. And he immediately made out with Tammy right after. Oh, gosh. Damn. It's so interesting because I'm not the type of person to like throw a Hail Mary pass

and like try to do what I can to solidify anything. I feel like I'm, you know, I would be more of like a Kelsey where it's like if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, fuck it, who cares? But it's interesting to see how people handle their business. in these pressure situations knowing that you know for women are going to be going home um so we see a couple women go home we see some new sexy eye candy come down to the beach we have thomas we have riley and rye i'm surprised riley's arms fit through the gates of paradise because can i just say too

that they look big and buff and huge on tv but in person in person holy crap listen these dude like Thomas kept talking about his height, but so did we. So did we. And I mean, Riley also knows his arms are like bazookas. They're not just the big guns. They are bazookas. Massive. His chest, like these dudes in person, holy freaking crap.

There's a rumor that Riley smashed a watermelon with one bicep. And this is the content that we need to see. We need this. speaking of like hot steamy things i got to get into this date with riley and marissa um can i all i wrote down for my notes for this date was just straight sex like hot steamy hot see it texted me and she goes like good lord you guys this date has me fired up i mean and it just ends so abruptly i'm like i need more give it to me um but was hot and steamy for some people but it was also sad boy summer for others i mean we see joe down in

the dumps we see connor down in the dumps we see connor pacing the beach and writing songs for marissa like she's going to come back and still be with him and like listen connor i applaud the dedication the enthusiasm the passion that you still have for marissa but like riley's arms yeah that's all i got to say wasn't your person man no no no And like, it's so hard because you want to feel for him, but you want to root for her at the same time. You're like, this is tricky. Gosh. Love me some Marissa, though.

She just sets it all out there. Oh, my, she's my favorite. I absolutely adore Marissa. And one thing that we can't forget about is we get a new, I was going to say, Judge. This is not really that kind of show. We get a new guest host, and I am so upset that we were. there for this entrance because also okay so we see lance bass as the next guest host but like when they start playing that old boombox with ensink people were kind of dancing a little bit oh my god

if we were there i would have been i would have been doing the whole dance i would have been on my head spinning on the ground like i would do yeah the marionettes whatever we got to do we like people you guys did not fully appreciate all that NSYNC and Lance Bass had to offer. The enthusiasm was lacking there. No, they needed us. They needed us. Connor was into it.

Connor was into it. He was the only one who I think knew all the lyrics, who knew the dance moves. Thank you, Connor, for that because we needed that. Lance needed that. But oh my God, the girls, when they sat down and had a mimosa with Mr. Lance Bass, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? The, like, the backs of my kneecaps would have been sweating. I would have, I would have been so, I would have been like, I don't even want to date any of these other men.

I know, I'm not, I know, I'm not Lance's type and I don't care. He can give me a rose. I know. Yeah, seriously. Hit that falsetto. God. Oh, my God. Just wait, you guys.

Do you and I could go on and on about, I think everything. Just wait until we hit the beach because we're going to have so much more behind the scene, so much more tea, so much more. T, so much more everything that we can give you, but until then, which I don't even know what that happens, because for one week, I feel like we've been watching 17 years full of this already. But a lot went down. And I think we just have to bring on our guest right now because a lot went down with her. And we want to allow her the chance to take the mic to say what she has to say and to clear up any confusion that we all may have of if there was a boyfriend, if there was a dog, if there was a music career to be enhanced right now. So without further ado, ladies and

gentlemen, let's please welcome Victoria P to Bachelor Happy Hour. We have the woman of the hour here, Victoria P. Before we start, Victoria, welcome. Do you want me to keep the P on your name or just call you straight Victoria. Honestly, you can call me anything as long as it's nice. My friends call me VP, like just my initials. So whatever you want. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm, I'll call you VP, but sometimes I then think I'm talking about the vice president, madame vice president. Um, okay, so we'll just call you Victoria. I was going to say Vicky for some reason. Like Vicki. No. No. No, Vicki. Okay. The teacher in sixth grade. that so we had like got into this debate that my skirt was too short and that it was like distracting

to boys and i had a whole debate with her like well shouldn't you be teaching the boys like that women's bodies aren't i was in sixth grade right should be objectified ever since then i'm like vicky don't call me vicky okay no vicky i like that you have a story attached to it well welcome to bachelor happy hour victoria this is the first time we've actually had you uh because we unfortunately did not speak with you during peter season there's just so much craziness going on uh but since leaving mexico and now being back in the real world and watching everything back how have you been it was a lot you know i was only on the beach for two nights like 36 hours and a lot happened there um i'm obviously disappointed and like some of the things that i heard that were said

but each person has their own, I guess they have their own idea of what happens. And I think that's based on assumptions. And I kind of wish that, I really wish that I'd been asked the questions and been able to address the concerns. But I really wasn't given that opportunity. And yeah. Well, we'll get into all of that too, because we do have. some questions around, you know, the drama that we saw unfold. Let's take it back from the

beginning because, you know, day one, you get there. You're one of the first people on the beach. You were there since the beginning. It's exciting. You don't know what to expect. How did you feel walking down those steps, you know, meeting David Spade and then meeting the original cast that first day? So walking down the steps, I was super excited, optimistic, like, let's freaking do this thing. I'm 100% ready. I'm super excited to be. to meet the new girls, to meet the guys. And I was really stoked and was a huge fan of Joe Dirk. So I was really excited. I already have to a good start. Yeah. And so, you know, because we didn't see you really in much of the drama until Monday night's episode. So I'm assuming the first couple

days, well, day. I mean, I know TV time is much different than real lifetime. But it seemed like smooth sailing it seemed like that first day you were talking to james you had a little bit of a connection what was that like for you yeah um like i said i was i was only there for two nights so 36 hours so and first getting there i'm super excited and optimistic and right away um i didn't feel like i feel like typically in my real life i feel connected it's like an instant connection whenever I connect with someone and I didn't feel that so I was kind of like and then the guys because they had the roses were like expecting the girls to go to them and I'm like no I feel like a man should pursue me and so I was kind of like waiting for that and and I ended up actually I think like

talking to James myself like just being like okay I've got to do this I've got to got to get out there and so and so I did and such a great guy super sweet I was kind of I was actually really excited in the beginning

and then I just kind of started like I was like okay I found myself kind of like I was having to convince myself that I was feeling something that I wasn't

and then I started to kind of be like okay am is like there's nothing wrong with this guy he's great he's a hunk but like sorry not that it was by default but did you feel like since there were so many other couples making connections yeah james is single i'll i'll talk to him well that's like you you know there's nothing wrong with him he's a great guy but it's like you want to feel that

instant. Yeah. With James and just with anyone on the beach, I think that I, I try to go in with no expectations. But typically, like, if I'm dating someone, there's either an instant connection or there's not. And I didn't feel that, that spark and that instant connection with him. And so right away, I was like, oh, shit. Like, oh, no.

But I also was like, okay, Victoria, you've known this guy for 24 hours, give it a shot. you're here like there could be someone else that comes down the beach and like then there was really no one else that I felt like I was really all guys were great but attracted to and so um yeah I just like took some time to get to know him wonderful guy um but there are a lot of wonderful people that just aren't compatible and right um I just I think ultimately I I wasn't ready because we've all been there right like we've all done the show we've all been on the bachelor and now you know cats out of the bag we've all been on paradise for some sort of time and it's this weird situation where you know playing off of what tia was just saying where it's like you know there's already couples established

you want to get to a certain point you obviously don't want things to feel forced but to continue week by week and day by day you need to form some sort of connection so it's just this weird situation like I would say social experiment to see who hits it off and if you felt like you know because we've all met James James is great he's such a good dude but if you just feel like that passion that chemistry wasn't there yeah you can't force it was there anyone that you were hoping would be on the beach that didn't that you didn't see walked down those steps that first week or that you see come later that you wished you would have been able to meet you know I really think that Ben guy what's his name y'all I'm bad with names you will learn

oh yeah we saw the other day I'm like I called my doctor my am I having a stroke like I just my mom's name is Cindy and I called her Sydney I'm like your mom listen my mother I'm like something is wrong nothing personal against James did yeah no it was it with her own mom it's a thing it was I it was concerned I it was concerned You did forget James's name quite a few times. A lot. But listen, I understand, especially when you're filming, coming from somebody who forgot one of the guys' names on my season on a group date in front of everybody, I get it.

There's a lot of people. She knew everyone else's name. Everyone else's name besides the one. Tia was on that date, too. She was there and witnessed it. So, so we get it. So, Ben from, from California. From Clarantation season, correct?

In Smith, I think, is his name. I actually Googled him a while ago because I was like, they're going to ask. me his name and I need to make sure I get it right. Ben Smith. Okay. My gym guy, workout guy, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. So, yeah, because I know that they always ask all of the cast coming down, okay, who do you really want to see here? Like, who do you think you could hit it off with? So I actually love asking everyone that question because it's so funny when some people say that the same one guy over and over and over. So, but I, but I, but I haven't heard he fighting over this man. He's going to But I haven't heard Ben yet.

So this is great. Well, who knows? I mean, I'm not going to give anything away. Who knows if Ben Smith walks down onto that beach or not? But, okay. So we see, let's just get into it a little bit because you were part of some of the drama that night before the first row of ceremony goes down. To recap briefly, basically, you know, we see you. and James chatting and then we see Kelsey and Tammy talking about that you may or may not have a

boyfriend back home back in Nashville and they can well I wouldn't say they confront James about it and then he confronts you about it so in all of that is going down did you know when James pulled you what he was going to be chatting with you about did you have any idea that this allegation would be circling on the beach? I was completely, honestly, completely blindsided. Sorry, for Settnett. I was completely blindsided whenever James pulled me aside and asked about it. I just, I, Kelsey and Tammy were both, like, I mean, from my season.

And so I just, I think that I, my expectation would have been, like, okay, if there's an issue or if they had some kind of a concern, like, they would have come to me and, like, and said something. I want to give you the mic for a second and clear the air and put any rumors to bed, if we will, because I know there's a lot circulating right now. So did you, or did you not have a boyfriend coming into Paradise? No. I started dating a guy in, well, I moved to Nashville in January and New Paradise was a thing right it was something that I wanted to do and I was really excited about and I was not and I wasn't dating anyone I was like I'm not dating anybody and the guy that I end up getting in a relationship with I try to set him up with one of my

friends I'm like I'm not dating anyone like I put this guy off I'm like no um and he asked me to get a drink with him. So I ended up going, we become really close as like best friends. And then it just developed into something more unintentionally. And it was really, that always happens. Yeah. And so that's, I think, part of the reason why going like on Paradise was kind of difficult because I'm like typically like in my relationships in the past, it's just been like, I'm going to get to know you. You're going to get to know me. And then, and there's no pressure. But if it like, if we connect and it takes. off great. And so I think with the James thing, like, you have to be so intentional and there's such

like a pressure to like rush and that anxiety was like really alive in me, right? But back to that relationship, Paradise was always something that we knew was a very strong possibility. Like I said, day one, I was very honest with him. We talked about it. And when, whenever we had only been dating like two and a half months right and paradise it's like okay I have to make a decision um and I think that probably the weight of whether paradise is going to be a thing or not like weight heavy on our relationship like he wasn't he didn't ask me to stay and was just like you should do like you should go and I encourage you to follow your heart or whatever like we haven't been dating long you know like and i think that he probably was trying

to give me his blessing but to me it was like he doesn't he's like he wouldn't fully commit right um and when someone won't fully commit naturally it's like okay well if you're not going to be all in then maybe i should um excuse other options yeah and so um we ended up having a conversation and he actually um this was like four like a month before paradise this was like two months into dating um and he broke up with me and was like I just feel like you've got your own thing going on paradise it's like this huge weight on us whether you're going to go whether or not like you know are we serious enough for you to stay are you going to have regrets if you stay um you know if we don't work out because our relationship is so fresh and actually the night that

He broke up with me. I stayed at Kelsey's house. So, um, so, so if he broke up with you and you then went on to Paradise to, you know, pursue whatever potential relationship could be there, when all of this was going on with Tammy and Kelsey telling James and, you know, talking about how you were going to boost this guy's music career, whatever was said, why wouldn't you at that point just be like, well, he broke up with me. This, this finished a month prior to this, you know, he ended things and that's why I'm here. Why don't you just say that? Something similar to that. Where did they get that information? Or like, where would they come up with this in the first place, you know, if you guys have been

broken up? Does that make sense? Yeah, no, absolutely. Um, you know, naturally, like I, whenever conflict arises, like, and I've done a lot of therapy and I, I mean, you guys see me on Peter season, whenever conflict happens with Alea, like, um, I just completely shut down. And I, um, it's like my nervous system is just completely over stimulated. And I just feel like fight or flight and I don't know what to say. Um, and a lot of times I just cry. Um, and so that's been something that I've really worked on through therapy and setting healthy boundaries and communicating through conflict um and so at the time whenever all that was happening

i don't like honestly like until watching the episode and kind of hearing what happens i i don't even remember what i said like because i was remember being so like okay i just got like i've got to remember my therapy techniques i can walk away and set a healthy boundary like my personal relationships are personal to me um you know the it's no one's business unless they're part of it had kelsey or tammy asked me kind of are been like hey how are you feeling or been around when I was having the conversations like with deandra or um heard my interviews the whole time I'm like I'm questioning like you know what if I if I'm ready for this and if I'm not, you know, from the moment that probably before James and I kissed,

but definitely after that. So it wasn't, it wasn't a secret. I just didn't feel comfortable sharing that with people. I didn't feel comfortable sharing it with. And Kelsey and Tammy never asked. So they just assumed. So why do you think they brought up the, the boyfriend at home thing? Because that's, that's completely normal to feel like, you know, what am I doing here? Why did I do this? I don't have this instant connection with anyone. That's completely normal. Even if you have an connection with somebody, I think everyone still questions what the hell am I doing here. Okay. Well, that makes me, I'm glad you said that because I was like, bro, like I don't like this. I need to get back home to the people that I love like that can pour into me and because I am my therapist because it's like,

I'm not made for this. I'm not made for these freaking mosquitoes and this heat. And literally I was sweating my tities off like actually no I feel that no but actually one of my implants

when I got home was like deflating it was like literally sweating my titty off so on Monday I have surgery that morning to remove my implants so

oh my God I feel a full so yeah Okay, so you can never vacation in Mexico in the future. Keep that in mind. Damn. I mean, really, I was like, truly, my mom was, my mom is so funny. She was like, you literally sweating your titties off.

I was like, thank you. And my grandma was like, oh, my God, I'm so glad that it didn't happen when you were there. Like, it would have been so bad. I would have been so embarrassed. I'm like, anyway. Least of all worries. Small wall, but thank you. Yeah, literally small worries.

So anyway, yeah, right now we're just being comfy. and cozy and having the girls. So let me ask you this because basically I have a two-part question here, but first I want to get into because when all of this is being brought up on the beach about you having this said boyfriend back home, one of the allegations was that you came on because you would have a bigger platform to be able to promote his music. And then also there was something, there was some story with the dog of you guys had a dog or were watching the dog. By the way, I will clear up the dog really quick. I got the dog for me.

It was like a rescue, right? The dog fell in love with the boyfriend. The boyfriend fell in love with the dog immediately. So we share the dog. And him and I are even now, like, great friends. I will say the guy that I was dating before the show, we broke up, wanted nothing to do with this. like specifically asked that his name was not brought up and because I think that and like and that's

kind of like part of the reason why like I think that I protected it I tried to I did my best like to protect that like when I was there you know and sharing with the people that I felt like um I could trust was and that already kind of had an idea about it was because it really wasn't anyone else's business and I didn't want to make it a thing because him and I dated for two and a half months. Yes, we share a dog together, but like, I think just as a viewer, like to touch on what Becca was saying, as a viewer, I was trying to think of it as not being there before. I was thinking, well, she didn't have a boyfriend. Why didn't she, she just say, no, I didn't have a boyfriend. Let's move on. You know what I mean?

Just shut it down. Just the abrupt exit and not really explaining and like just as a you are saying you upset with Kelsey and Tammy and not just being like, no, I didn't have a boyfriend. People are lying if they say they weren't dating someone or talking to someone like beforehand. Generally speaking, people are going to have someone they're interested in before they come on the show. It's not like it's completely unheard of. But I think it was just like, why didn't she just say, nope, didn't have a boyfriend? I think I actually, I did. And that, I don't know if that, honestly, because I haven't watched, I've just heard what happens.

That's not shown. So, and I talk about it in my interviews. I'm very transparent. Obviously, it's not what the viewers are going to see. So I appreciate you guys, like, kind of, like, making me aware of that because I, yeah, that helps me in this. So, like I said, when I'm, when I feel like I'm oversimulated in my, like, I feel anxious and I feel like there's conflict. My natural trauma response is just to completely shut down.

And if I didn't say like specifically I don't have a boyfriend, I wish that I did. Well, so yeah, because I want to get into that because one, I mean, we didn't see you leave just very abruptly. You know, you left before the first row ceremony. you saw yourself out was that so because to me as a viewer it seems like it maybe wasn't necessarily because of this boyfriend allegation it was more so the fact that Tammy and Kelsey two of your you know I would say friends or acquaintances whatever um kind of went behind your back and didn't maybe it's because they didn't address it with you first they went to James directly was that kind of what triggered you like the reason of why you felt like this

fight or flight response were, okay, I just have to see myself out. It wasn't, was it less about the whole boyfriend, boyfriend, quote unquote, and more about how they handled and approached James in that entire situation? The night before I, all this happened, I've pulled my producer inside and I was like, I don't think I, I don't think that I should be here. I'm having a lot of second thoughts like, and he encouraged me just to stay and to see, he was like, listen, you're already here. let's give it a shot let's give it one more day and then all of this happens the next day like

i'm already like i've got to tell james that i'm not interested in him and i really don't think that my heart is here and i'm ready to give it to someone else like i got here i was optimistic and really like open arms open heart like god whatever you want for me in this season like i'm here and i'm ready to accept it whether it's love like turn to learn a lesson friendships And unfortunately, like, it was one of those things once I got there and I tried. It was like, holy crap, like, I'm not ready for this. I was encouraged to say I stayed. And ultimately, like, I think that I didn't, I, that environment is not, was not healthy

for me specifically. Like, I, back here at home, like, I. have a support system and people that I know that I can trust and that love me and that are willing to come to me and check me if I'm wrong or like and give me the constructive criticism and that's not what I got when I was there like I'm like okay you guys have an issue and all this has been talked about and assumed behind my back and not come to me directly like I was really like I'm going to get emotional um you know and going and saying yes to paradise for me it wasn't just, like, I'm going into this with an expectation to find love.

It was, I am, I know that there's a possibility that I could, so much more could come out of this. And enlisting all those things, like friendships, like more self-awareness, like being able to have this platform to talk about things like that matter to me. You know, because of Like earlier, you asked that there was anyone I wish had gone on the beach. I really wish Alaya had gone. For some of our listeners who maybe didn't watch all of Peter's season and know exactly what you're talking about in terms of Alleya, do you want to just give a quick background and then segue into what you're about to say? Yeah, sure. On Peter's season, I, and this is pre-therapy, you know, I'm when I've always felt like before I felt like if I had an issue with someone or.

if they'd hurt me or I never knew how to address it. Like, growing up, it was always like you don't say anything. And that was kind of like the way that I survived is I just kept my mouth shut and just, mm-hmm, and like did what I needed to do. And so I think that that carried through and on Peter's season, it was like, I want to love like Jesus does. And I want to be kind. But in that, when you have an issue with someone,

or having an issue with someone, I didn't know how to communicate it. And I failed Alaya miserably and was really hopeful and excited to see her on the beach to be able to apologize to her. Like, I mean, I've reached out obviously and apologized by phone, but I was really hopeful to take responsibility

for the way that I acted publicly because I should have been direct with her looking back. I should have, like, having the tools now I would have done things very differently, approached her and addressed my concerns and given her a fair opportunity to make things right or learn a lesson or, you know, And I'm like, looking back, I'm like, maybe I just had this expectation of what I thought that she should be. And I was, like, projecting, you know?

So I just felt like I owed her an apology. You came onto the beach, you know, with maybe, not maybe, I will say, not to potentially find love and find a lasting partner, but to make amends with some of the females in your life. And because, I mean, and you've said this multiple times, you know, especially when you were confronting Tammy and Kelsey that you're trying to use these new therapy techniques that you've learned for better conflict resolution. So going into that, you know, kind of knowing the history with you and Alea or whoever on

Peter's season, do you feel like you were able to take those conflict resolution skills into paradise in this conversation with both Tammy and Kelsey? And do you feel good about, you know, saying your side of things with them and leaving in the way that you did? like do you do you feel good about that good in how everything ended for you absolutely going through peter's season and then after like i my mental health like i was at an all-time low like kind of being thrown into the space where people are questioning your character and coming at you and like online people aren't kind and i'm from a small town where i've never really like had to deal with a lot of

that and so um and then just i really struggled um on the show and off the show like there was a point where i um post show was like i really had to lean on the the people in my life to help me get through it and i had to um see someone in regards to my mental health because i did not want to live anymore um and obviously like all that was really hard to go through and I had regrets and I was like but I like giving myself grace and looking back I'm like the way that I handled things on peter season like I'm like I've since gotten therapy and I have this toolbox and and I have the ability to work through things that I have no idea how to work through before um and I'm grateful and I do feel like in the situation with team and kelsey like i was really able to take those things that

i've learned through therapy and to apply those you know like to be able to say hey like i'm setting a healthy boundary and i don't have to like i'm not going to allow someone to talk to me like this like and then something else is i and i hope this has shown is i tell them multiple times i'm like i'm happy to talk to you both separately about your concerns but right now, like, I feel over-stimulated, like, talking to both of you. And I'm, but I'm happy to talk to you both separately and address your concerns and work through this together. Like, I, I hear you. I want to hear you. I want to work through this. And, and I think Tammy, again, calls me manipulative and and either of them talk to me separately. And at that point, I'm like, I just, I already was, was feeling

like maybe I maybe I wasn't ready and I think at that point I was like I my life is so great back at home and I'm really I knew that that wasn't the place for me to be anymore and I'm like okay if I I am proud of the way that I handled things because before therapy I like I said I completely shut down but people that saw Peter Seeson saw it like I just cry

and didn't address anything and I was able to communicate and handle conflict with grace, I feel like, and not perfectly, you know, but I think and knowing what I was and how I reacted and conflict before to being where I am now, like in standing up for myself and saying, like, I can set this boundary. Like, I'm allowed to walk away. I don't have to allow someone to talk to me like this. I'm able to share what I want to share. Like, it's not, my personal life is not your business.

It felt good. It sounds like overall, you know, in the past couple years, you have put in a lot of work to learn, you know, we all have strengths, strengths and weaknesses and to know, where maybe you could learn and grow and do better. And it sounds like you applied that in paradise. And I hope that that continues. I mean, we've all, like every time you put yourself in this situation, you learn something new, you have major takeaways that I think like you can't expect until you go through it. And so I applaud you for putting in the work and, you know, focusing on yourself and really setting those boundaries. And I hope that continues. I think this is also

a good point because, you know, you've talked a little bit about mental health and setting healthy boundaries and conflict resolution. And I know a lot of our listeners would love any sort of advice that you could give to them. So if there's one bit of solid advice that you could give to just anyone going through something similar or going through, you know, this moment of growth in their life or wanting to kind of better themselves and to set those healthy boundaries or potentially go on paradise in the future, what would that bit of advice be for them? therapy and Jesus. Aside from that, it's okay to say no.

It's okay to walk away when you feel uncomfortable. It's okay not to share things that you don't feel like comfortable sharing. And on TV especially, like it's even harder because it's not just the people in front of you. It's the people that are watching. Like you're not just sharing with, like I wasn't just sharing with Tammy and Kelsey. I'm sharing with, I'm being having to share with the rest of the world things to I'm not ready to talk about. If you're not ready to talk about something,

don't feel like you're not forced to do that. If it's uncomfortable, you're not forced to do that. And you don't have to explain yourself either. Some people don't, are already convinced of their series of events. And regardless of how you try to explain it or rationalize or tell your side, like, there's no convincing them otherwise. and I and like even now I'm like you know what like the people that are in my life know the truth I know the truth and I don't need to convince anyone otherwise you know

um I can't like I always say like there I don't have regrets there are lessons that you learn through those, I feel like I prayed before I went really like, okay, God, like help me, leave me in the right direction. Like, where, like, where do you want me to be? And I questioned whether or not my heart was ready to give to somebody else. But I felt led and called to walk into this as open as I could. And I really think I tried to convince myself I was ready to meet someone, but ultimately, like, and the same way I said for Peter's season, walking away, I walked away with so much more than just, you know, finding love. Obviously, I didn't find love on Paradise. But maybe I know that I was called there for a reason. And whatever that

reason is I'm I meant to touch someone's life and even though the whole experience was hard for me sometimes and most of the time it's not about me it's about what God's plan and purposes and I said yes to what he called me to do and it wasn't what I thought it would look like but you know I don't think it ever really is I don't understand now why things happen the way they did but maybe one day I will yeah I think everything can be taken as a learning experience and to grow from it and have some sort of takeaway which it sounds like you are doing or you have done since then so one thing that we can clear the air on because you know I'm sure viewers probably have questions and that's why I want to give you the reins

and explain this a little bit more is when you were leaving in your exit interview you and you're going home, you made a comment something about like, you know, why would I search for what, you know, like I don't have to be here to search for what I have at home. And I think for viewers, they maybe took that as you have a man back home, but there could potentially be more. You know, you keep talking about your great support system back home with family and friends. And so can you just explain that comment a little bit more? So no one has any more assumptions about that. Peace. Like, there is no piece on that beach there is there's there's none so if i was in the moment if i was referring to

anything honestly the only thing i could think about was what a mess it was and the people that i love that home but i feel like i would have never been in that position that i was in and paradise with like my my friends my family my therapist to support me like my my sister like yeah if i was referring to anything, that's what it was. And my dog. Hey, that's all you had to say. I get it. You had me at the dog. All right. There you go, people. You heard it from Victoria here. Hopefully we put some of those rumors and the allegations to bed for what we saw go down Monday night. So, Victoria, thank you for joining us on Bachelor Happy Hour. And we're excited to see more of you of potentially what's to come in the future. Who knows? It was such a pleasure to have.

have you on. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for giving this opportunity and just for being such amazing women and I admire both of you so much. So I'm really grateful for being able to talk. Thank you. Back at you. I'm hoping that we were able to clear the air for a lot of the viewers and a lot of our listeners regarding the whole boyfriend allegation. I feel like she needed this moment to chat with us to kind of say her side of things, give her peace. And hopefully she has learned or had some major takeaways and can just, you know, continue to work on herself. I feel like I'm really glad that she was able to come on here and speak about just how therapy has helped her and setting healthy boundaries and, you know, how to work through

some conflicts because we could always be better in those situations, in those regards. So I feel like at the end of the day, she was already having second thoughts about being there, already wanted to leave and just didn't feel like it was right. And then once she had that confrontation, she was overwhelmed and was like, I got to bounce. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. And as she said, it's not just having a conversation with whoever is sitting directly in front of you, but you open yourself up to millions of viewers, which isn't, it's so intense. And I don't think until anyone actually goes through it, you understand the weight that that holds. One thing she said at the beginning, too, is that people have so many assumptions about the couple hours that they see on TV.

we are well aware because we have gone through several seasons now and you know have been in paradise a couple times and have been on the bachelor and i was the lead like there's so much that people don't see and the way that things can be pieced together seems extreme it seems so dramatic it seems like somebody is either good or bad or people hate or love each other and it's like that's not the case there's so much more that people will never be able to see um and so that people can see every detail of everything and still decide that they don't like you exactly exactly it's just it just is what it is so again you know i've said this a million gazillion times but at the end of the day this is a reality tv show um and and but we are humans

we are people living lives and it is a tv and i know it at the same time i know the times you think that people don't get along and that they don't like each other and that's not the case Most people coming off of every season that I've seen really do get along and like each other. So I'm going to leave it at that. Thank you, Tia, for joining me today. You know, I love you. It's going to be such a fun season to do this with you. Thank you to Victoria for joining us.

I know that that probably wasn't the easiest conversation, but I'm glad that we were able to have it. And the biggest thank you to all of our bachelor happy hour listeners, because without you all, we couldn't be here doing what we do each week. So thank you for hanging out with us. please make sure to follow us on social. You can find us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and at Batch Nation Pods on both Facebook and Twitter. And as always, don't forget to subscribe to us on our podcast.

You can do that on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, the Wondery app, or wherever you are listening to our lovely voices right now. Thanks, everyone. Bye-bye. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looked.

for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Oh, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Jemma Spag, host of the Psychology of Your 20s. This September at the Psychology of Your 20s, we're breaking down the very interesting

ways psychology applies to real life, like why we crave external validation. I find it so interesting that we are so quick to believe others' judgments of us and not our own judgment of ourselves. So according to this study, not being liked actually creates similar pain levels as real life physical pain. Learn more about the psychology of everyday life and, of course, your 20s. This September, listen to the psychology of your 20s on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you get your podcasts.

Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up.

Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing. This is an IHeart podcast.