Bachelor Happy Hour - Zach on His Journey So Far

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

On this week’s episode of “Bachelor Happy Hour,” Becca and Michelle sit down with Zach to talk, one lead to another, about what the journey on “The Bachelor” is really like. Nothing is off the table in this roundtable conversation, as things like the real value of a one-on-one date, making mistakes as the lead, and what it’s really like to prepare for Hometowns are discussed. Plus, Zach talks about his experience during the upcoming and highly anticipated episode of “Women Tell All” and shares a bit about what the viewers can expect. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Complex problem solving. Takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers.

I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts, now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back, Happy Hour listeners. I'm one of your host, Becca Kufrin. And I'm Michelle Young. And we are back this week to catch up with everything that happened in Budapest, but also we finally have the Bachelor himself on.

So very soon, we will finally get the chance to talk with Zach. Yes. We're excited to speak with him. There's so much that has happened just this season in general to get his thoughts on his journey and get to chat with him. But first, before we bring him on, I have so many thoughts about this episode, Becca, and I need to put your thoughts on something very specific. Oh, okay. So in this date, this date was really intense and it was really emotional. And I will say that it actually kind of felt very unique aside from all. they're like just typical bachelor dates or episodes the mind reading date okay so that they bring this mentalist in and one how how are your thoughts just in general about like a psychic or a mentalist like are you into that stuff are you open to it are you like yes anything that they say that's absolutely it are you like take it with a grain of salt I no I'm so into it and like I have personally spoken with mediums in the past. So I feel like this would have been actually a really

fun date to be on. The only part that I probably would not have liked per se is being having to be in a group setting. Like this is a date that I would have maybe wanted for just myself and the lead, not with all these other women around. And it seems like it got very emotional for the women just based upon the questions he was asking. And I'm going to be completely honest because, like, you know, I've, I've chatted with mediums in the past and some I'm like, okay, like, your spot on with some of the stuff that you know that no one else would have known. And then some I'm like, hmm, like, are you real here?

Are you just, like, spewing up? Yeah, like, is it just more vague, like, stuff that you spew it to everyone? And I kind of went in to this date with that mindset. Like, of course, this is set up from the show and this, like, he's going to know. inside information from these women before going on. But like, based upon all of their reactions, and I am intrigued to hear Zach's point of view, too, because obviously he was there. But I feel like this guy was actually legit. I, okay. So that's so interesting that you bring that up is because I, I've seen a psychic before. And you kind of can like take different

things. And but like my, similar to you, my reading was very like specific. And so it was like, okay, this can actually, this could actually be legit. But as I was watching this episode, I wasn't necessarily sitting there and questioning if he was legit or not. What I almost had an issue with, though, is the way that he set the tone of the date because it's, it came off really aggressive. And it came, for me anyways. And it came off because like several times this mentalist was like, if you're lying, I'm going to know.

If you're lying, I'm going to know. And it came off in a very like, taunting is an aggressive word. But like a pushy way when like these women like, like, they were in like an FBI investigation. Yes. Yes. I'm glad that you brought that up. And I guess I was looking at it. I wasn't even looking at it.

from that mindset, but that makes total sense. And, and I think if I was on this group date, I would have failed miserably. First of all, because, like, I always put myself in this mindset of like, okay, if I had to do like a lie detector quiz, like, I'm a very honest person. But like, when somebody's like, I know if you're lying, I know if you're lying, I would freaking panic. And like my heart would just race. I'd probably fail it no matter what, if I was honest or not. like so why is that my biggest fear too yeah i've also listened to way too many true crime podcasts where they're like never do a polygraph so that's where my mindset is but also like like you just said i'm the type of person who wants to explain things and like this is the why even if like

you don't like my answer and i'm being honest and it's blunt and it might hurt to hear i want to give the reasoning to try to validate that and i guess yeah for the women to not be able to do that and we saw, I think, I mean, for the most part, at least three of them really sat in that weird limbo feeling of, oh, my God, he probably misinterpreted what I was saying. And now he is probably like thinking, I'm not ready for this or, you know, I'm not like on the same page as him. So yeah, I could see why they would struggle. I'm super interested to talk to Zach about this with everything and pick his brain just about what his thoughts were on that date as well as everything that just happened this week.

Yeah, both of his one-on-one, sending some women home before the big hometown week. I will say, like, I'm intrigued to have Zach on this week because, like, for me, and I don't know if, like, Michelle, you've maybe felt this or not, but, like, I feel like we've gotten to know more of these women, and, like, I quite like the cast. I love the support that they have for one another. I feel like, especially on every one-on-one date that he's had with them, like, we've learned a lot about them. So I feel like I know them better. But Zach, to me, like, I still don't quite know.

Like, I feel like with the way he answers and, like, what we're seeing, I'm like, I don't really know who Zach is. Like, I haven't seen much of you and your personality and your side of things. And so that's why it'll be nice to have him on today to try to get to know a deeper side to him. and just to dig a little bit more and so I hope that he's willing I mean I know like we've never really had a voucher on halfway through I feel like so this will be interesting

I mean obviously he's probably so exhausted with having still half a season to go and to do all of that but yeah so well I guess with all of that we should just bring him on because we do have so many questions for him let's do it hello hello welcome Zach

how are you doing I saw the hello, hello there. That's a big thing in my world. Hello, hello? Oh, I've been getting roasted for it all season. Is that how you meet all the girls every week? It started on night one, just being overwhelmed, walking into the room with everyone.

And it was all right, hello, hello ladies. And then they started tallying how many times I would say that same phrase, hello, hello, so much that it was like turning into a game with everyone. Oh, I have not even picked up on that. I haven't either. But I will say, Becca and I have actually spoken about this before, just on night one, you get those nerves in general. And there's like, everybody has coin phrases. And so yours, I didn't know that yours was hello, hello.

I actually didn't peep that out at all. I don't remember I kept saying, I love it. I love it. I love it. I remember Matt James, his was thanks for sharing. Becca, what was yours? I don't even know. Oh, I would always say, I would always say like,

if I'm being honest and then, like, lead into something. Yeah. You just get stuck in it. Wait, no. This actually, this was a great T-It for this question that I didn't even, like, remember. I was going to ask you, Zach, okay, you do this and I did this as well. And, like, halfway through my season, the producers were like, can you stop saying this? So I want to know if they said this to you, too.

But, and it's like usually in, like, the rose ceremonies, like, you know how you have to walk in, stand next to the podium and like give a little spiel of like you know i appreciate all of your time and like i'm really finding like love whatever it might be but um we always like give our spiel and that little speech and then we always say so with that being said and then we would like grab the rose and you say it too and i'm like dude he i used to say that all the time and they told me to stop did has anyone told you like halfway through your season like you don't need to say with all that being said you know there were there were probably several phrases they told me to stop saying.

With that one, I feel like it's the one that makes sense to transition to... That's what I'm saying. I think it works. I think I might have said it every single time so far, but I mean, I think one thing that I had a bad habit on and I didn't really notice till watching the show

was the amount of times I say like. And I was not... So I thought I had a better grasp in terms of like filler words. But when you're on a date and you're nervous and there's maybe some alcohol involved, I'm looking back and like, I see, I just said like again, it happens all the time. We all do it. It's notorious about your nation. I just started with, I'm going to be honest. I just hit your Becca's phrase, okay?

But you have made it, I've become more conscious of how often I use the word like from watching you. Yeah, you're all going. But here's the thing is everybody does it. It's not you. Like, you can track back to even, like, Colton, I just said it again. You can track back to Colton season. And it's like, like, like, like, it's a thing that happens every single season. And I think what it attributes to, so now I'm trying to pause and not say it.

But you're having these conversations and you want to be thoughtful about your words. And people tend to say like instead of just pause. But I'll say this is that what you're saying is it comes off. It's very genuine. So regardless of you throwing like the in there, however often it is, don't let that sweat. Okay. So we are literally just at this halfway mark and you're watching all of this back for the first time as you kind of spoke about and are picking up just different things that you have said or even perception. or getting just a different perspective on how things has happened. How has that been for you?

Have you enjoyed watching everything back? Has it been really difficult for you? It's pretty difficult. You know, you have this one way of you, you know, thinking of how things went and you have your own perception or, you know, the reality you lived in, you know, for those several months. And then you rewatch it. And you don't necessarily.

fully understand the full picture to you rewatch it and you know it's everything as little as like okay yeah I I say these words a lot or my mannerism but on the bigger scale it's like okay that situation I'm seeing it from another perspective and I'm seeing what's going on with you know the women that I typically wouldn't know but think I have a good grasp on the situation so it's been like tough to watch as a whole but a good experience overall because because it's like it's teaching myself more about myself and how I handle situations

and could have handled situations better. But I'm someone in general that, I mean, anything I do on the show or like if it's, you know, an interview or something, like I don't watch it back. Like I don't want to because I have that thing of like, damn, my voice sounds like that or why do I walk like that? Like it's like the littlest, you know, things.

But I'm not the biggest fan, but my family loves to watch it. How is it with them? I mean, you know that your family is watching you kiss other people. Is that weird? Oh, yeah. It's really weird. And I'm almost like, why are you watching it? And they don't enjoy that by any means.

Like every time they see like a hot tub scene, they're like, all right, we're going to just mute and do something. I'm like, thank you. Fast forward 15 seconds. Everybody looks at their phones all of a sudden, you know. Yeah, I don't watch with them. either. That's one thing I can do. That's a good idea. What have been some of your biggest shocks or surprises watching it all back? Because as you just said, like you, you know, you were living in like what was reality for you, but then you see all of the interviews with the women back

and you piece together each of the stories a little bit more. So what has been most surprising or shocking to you? One that comes to memory. is what happened really in Estonia with Cat pulling me out into the hallway before the charity one-on-one date. And I didn't know what had followed and been like the reality for the girls for the past, you know, week or so afterwards. Like I didn't know that it caused such, you know, issues or conflict within the women so much so that it did.

I thought it was, you know, just kind of something that had happened. And then it's like, all right, the next day, we're on a date. And we're, okay, now we're traveling to the next location. And I didn't know how much stress that caused for everyone else in the fighting that had happened. Didn't learn that till I watched the episode, really. I didn't know that that was like a conflict by any means. Okay. Which is actually, and we'll get into everything with Estonia soon.

So when we get to that week, I want to ask you about that. because I did have a question of like when you started piecing things together. But before that, I mean, we just have some fun random questions, you know, getting to know you a little bit more for our listeners. And actually, and I will be completely transparent. Before you hopped on, I was like, listen, I feel like with the season, we're getting to know so much of these women, especially on the one-on-one dates, they're really opening up about their past.

And I feel like we're seeing more sides to them. And with Zach, I'm not necessarily seen as much in getting to know him. and that's why we're happy to have you on here because, like, this is an hour of just you, like an interview to get to know you. So we have some fun little silly questions for you. One I want to ask you is we've seen on social media, like you poking fun at yourself. See, I just said like you poking fun at yourself for being this quote unquote boring bachelor. Do you feel like the reception of you has changed since the show started airing?

Oh, good question. generally I think a little bit you know when you start at the literal bottom um usually there's only one way to go up and uh that's a great way of looking at it I guess I mean I'm like I'm realistic with it I get it not a lot of people knew who I was from you know last season of The Bachelorette um you know going into this there still wasn't a lot to know about me but you know there's like I have my take on it and it's it's the fact of yeah I've been you know very forward on the no drama or the no BS and I like to live my life that way and if that's boring to viewers that's fine because it's like I don't want to change who I am to not be

your quote unquote boring like I'm not going to try to fit the mold of what you know this you know the large fan base of bachelor nation like what they want to see because it's my life at the end of the day and I want to, you know, take the lessons that I've learned or the way I was raised to, you know, continue like my life and growing. And I don't want to change being boring to fit that mold. But I think, I think as a whole, people have started to see it. It's not necessarily like a boring season by any means, but it's different. Yeah. I really, I really connect with what you said there of having this, you seem to have a really good balance between or just understanding.

That doesn't mean just because you have an understanding that it's always easy and that everything just rolls off and like the hate or just the comments roll off. But I definitely experienced just the similar whole concept of you understand you're on a reality TV show. And the reality TV shows do really well when it's. crazy and out of pocket and wild and that's what makes exciting TV and you have this opportunity that you were presented and you want to take it because you genuinely want to find your person but you're not going to be this complete basket case or change who you are just to entertain other people so I do really really respect that and like Becca said you have handled

it you know we really seem to have been handling it well with how you speak about it that doesn't mean that it doesn't like hurt at times i'll acknowledge that but but yeah i i do appreciate that and i do appreciate the little banter back and forth that you've been you know just on social media of like sometimes just make you'll make fun of yourself you'll do you know whatever you like just make it lighthearted it doesn't have to be this like intense serious thing don't get yourself so seriously which we've seen more of you on instagram doing which I mean, like, that's kind of what you've got to do in this world, especially on social media. Like, you can't please everyone.

You just got to do you and find, like, the happy moments in sometimes the not easiest moments. Exactly. Have you been able to stay out of the comments? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Oh, no, yeah, you're good. No, yeah. With the comments, you know, it's very early on. it was really hard not to because it's it was still so new and my family was you know even getting

you know a little shocked by it because my mom you know being very protective and and she's like I don't want to go in the comment section and I'm like you know take the higher ground and you know be a big person but it it like kind of clicked pretty early on I don't know if it was you know just time or just kind of getting over it where I just kind of stopped mattering in my eyes of like I don't even click the comment section really in my own photos or anything like that but you know I do you know like appreciate the good support that I do know I I get and and the negative stuff it's like hey I I don't take myself too seriously like I mean it's like I love like dad jokes and just like being goofy and not taking things too

seriously but like in this show's light like I took you know finding love so seriously, but like I myself, I'm like, I, no, farthest thing from it, but that's not necessarily always shown. Right. Listen, I, I feel like I understand you. I was, I was the boring Bachelorette where I was so dead set. Like, I went in. I had like the job of finding the partner. Like, I was, I was in it to win it. I wanted to get engaged and have it be like my lasting person. And so I was so dead set on like really weeding out the drama. and like finding who was best for me. So I understand like you're kind of in that zone too of like which and I will say like I have commended you on this and I think other people have too playing into like the drama like you cut it right away. And if there is any sort of BS, you're like I don't want to deal with that. That's not what I want in my life. Like that's not for me. And you you have been very decisive in that regard which I think most people can appreciate because we haven't always necessarily had that in the past and it's left everyone involved even the viewers watching very confused yeah like i i've i've recognized and you both know this that the time

is so short when you're there from night one to the end and every moment counts every conversation counts and you have to be you know hyper vigilant on everything and when the end goal is to find the love of your life when you see drama or you see things that are worrisome well shit we don't have that much time until the end. And like, I don't want to risk this for any of us. And I don't want to, like, lead, you know, anyone on. And I want to be just honest that, like, hey, this is not what, like, we signed up for. And I said it very early on a night one. Like, it's, it's not what I'm looking for with this drama. It's nothing against you as a person. It's like, for my own self, too, just seeing the drama. Like, I got it. I got to cut it. Yeah. You seem like you've been

great about just listening to your gut and following it. And again, back to that decisiveness. So let me ask you this then. So now that you're kind of watching it all back and you've lived it, like, is there one moment or several moments where you thought, like, maybe I shouldn't have reacted so quickly? Or do you stand by basically every decision you've made thus far? No, no. I've definitely looked back and looked at quite a few situations where I know I could have handled it way better. You know, the decisions, you know, of having to send someone home, I do stand by that because I'm, you know, feeling out and seeing like who could my person be. But to get to that point, there were, yeah, a few interactions in general where I look back

and I see that like I failed myself. I failed that person and, you know, not necessarily who I am. and I, you know, want to get better from it. So, like, the decisions, yes, but not the way I've handled some of them. Absolutely. Yeah. If you were to put it to, like, I will give you a minute to also, like, like, Pat, let's pat yourself on the back, too. But with one thing up into this point in the journey that you feel like you have struggled with. and it doesn't have to be necessarily specific situation.

Just one thing that you were struggling with or you struggled fails a really strong word. But, and then one thing that you felt like you had done really well. Um, like looking back at the show, like from everything. Or just at this point of what you've kind of seen to the episodes to this point. Because, you know, like you're, you are in a constant. state of reflection and it's kind of also hard to jump back into that without like the knowledge that you have now but you know you kind of already and you don't even need to actually like speak

of what you feel like you've failed on or anything like that you've been very um you've taken ownership over the things that you and apologize in the areas where you felt like you needed to what's one thing you felt like you did well and have done well um i think i think one thing i i have hopefully done pretty well, but it feels like I have was never leading anyone on, like throughout. And, you know, there's going to be, you know, always like the articles of this and that. And, you know, the word blindside comes up a lot. And especially the thing Bachelor created it. And it's like there's a certain point where, you know, I've always wanted to be truthful and honest with how I felt with everyone. And I have. And, you know, the feeling of, of, of

blind sight's going to happen no matter what in a sense because it's not like that's why there's a rose ceremony and like a decision needs to be made a lot of the time i think one thing i've done pretty well was always letting them know how i truly feel about them now it's it's tough when you have to make a decision at a rose ceremony and you know you have to follow what is right to you but i think like everything i've done i've you know been fully honest and transparent with all the women throughout our relationship so that's yeah that it's because it's easy to kind of like you can skate by and maybe just say like a few things here and there and you know lead them on and that's the last thing i wanted like i only wanted to be true with what i actually felt with each one

okay we're going to get into obviously like the past couple weeks we you have been traveling to some crazy cool places like fresh out the gate you were traveling to like cool cities um I just want to ask you this because it's already crazy that next week is hometowns. I'm like, where the hell has this season gone already? Like, can you believe right now? I mean, obviously, you filmed it. You were in that limbo phase before it aired and now you're playing it all back. Can you believe like we're already to this point where you are going to meet four women's families already?

Oh, I mean, it's mind-boggling. I thought it was going to be the slowest, you know, a couple of months there is. you know, watching everything week to week. And it's actually just absolutely flew by. I am excited for the end of it, you know, for selfish reasons to like kind of start my life with someone or maybe not. Ooh, is this little hints that you're happy and in love? Tune in.

No, but I'm excited for that phase of life. And that's kind of the most important thing for me. But so selfishly, I'm like, I'm excited. that it's kind of being faster than anticipated. But, you know, it's still the time, you know, when there's hometowns right around the corner, it gets really real. Like, that's when, you know, families are involved.

And it's not, you know, what you've been going through, traveling around the world, doing some cool, fun dates. It's like a level of seriousness that you haven't really gotten to yet. And there's a lot of state. And the most difficult, decisions of all time come and I don't know it's a little nerve-wracking like I'm getting the butterflies thinking about like going back to that time and looking at it because it was cute it was there was a lot to take in like I as I'm sure you both know the nerves and when you meet

the families and oh yeah well and we'll get into I mean we'll get into closer to home downs but I just want to ask you this too because now it's we've all seen the episode we know your final four was there one maybe one woman or family in particular that you were like really nervous whether it was because you were like so into that person that you were like this could be my future in-laws or somebody that you were like oh they've warned me that their parents are going to be kind of harsh like who was one of the girls families that you were most nervous to see that's great question uh it was Ariel's family so she had dad that thought it was game of Thrones he was like they're going to make you get naked and I was like I was

And I was like, you know, you know, a little nervous, but excited to meet him, but I was also warned of, not warned, but prepared for her brother. And, you know, I'm an older brother myself with two younger sisters, you know, that have had boyfriends. And I've played the macho older brother role, you know, at a younger time, but she prepared me for that. And so I was really nervous going into me meeting her brother, who, without any spoil. I don't know if he's a big fan of this whole show thing and me and that's so understandable too is because it is a crazy world and not everybody understands it that's hard it's so tricky it's like ready set go and then we wonder why families are like what the heck is going on it's like because we look we look legitimately crazy well and I feel like not to get into the whole like stereotypical role of like men and women but Traditionally, I will say, it's probably a bit tougher for you as the male leads, Zach, because, you know, when you want to, I think most people, when they are planning on getting engaged, they want the parents' blessing. And so I'm sure that was an added layer that you went into all of these homes. I'm sorry, my dogs just came back. So if you hear beeping in their colors, that's them. But I'm sure. And you can maybe speak more. God, here's Minow.

Hi. You want to see The Bachelor? Yeah, come see hi. Come see hi. Sorry. Sorry. But I'm sure you had that extra layer to think about of like one of these four women could be my life partner and it could be getting engaged. And now I have to ask for their potential blessing when they know I'm still dating three other women on top of their daughter. It's got to be like a bit heavy going in every night. It was, I mean, every hometown, you're prepared to have probably the toughest discussion you can ever have because, you know, you're speaking with fathers, you're speaking with mothers, you know, siblings. And you do need, like, for me, I personally believe, like, you do need to ask for that blessing because that's, like, I want them to, you know, feel as comfortable as they can with me. But regardless, it's still their family. It's their daughter. Yeah. And I want them to feel comfortable or feel safe with me.

Um, so it was, you know, very difficult, uh, for, you know, a lot of the family to, to wrap their head around. And I completely understand. And I was prepared for, you know, anything, um, that could happen. Um, we do want to get into this week's episode. We, no, we got to get into Estonia quick. Because I do have some questions of Estonia, too. Okay. Got it. God. You start with that, Beck. Um, okay. And we have, God, man, I have so many questions for you and I know we just like don't have the time um I would get into London but like that's a couple weeks ago so yeah so Estonia the main thing I want to ask you about that week is the you probably know what I'm going to bring up the conversation with Jess during the group

like the evening part of that group date when she ended up going home you did not think she was going home that night correct zero okay so that was kind of a shock to I would say both of you The part that I want to ask you about, because just watching that entire conversation, you know, like, I can empathize with Jess of, of course she wants the one-on-one time. Like, she wants to build that quality time, especially as hometowns are nearing. But there was one part in that conversation, well, I guess two parts. Like, more towards the beginning, you said something like, you know, I wasn't necessarily, like, and I'm paraphrasing, so these are not your words.

But, like, you weren't necessarily worried or fixating on the one-on-one with her because you felt such a strong connection with her. And then closer to the end of that conversation, as she's nearing to go home and leave, you were like, you kind of backtracked and you said something like, well, maybe that connection wasn't as strong. Can you just talk us through the thought process there? Because I was a bit confused, and I'm sure Jess was a bit confused too. And I'm sure that that conversation was much longer than what was aired. So there's probably bits that we were missing. So can you just like talk us through that entire evening and your thought process when speaking with her? Yeah, absolutely. And even looking back on it before I'd even watched the

episode, I had left that that entire conversation, that time confused as well, because what it happened was, it was all very quick. The conversation was long and obviously it had to be condensed. But, you know, just, you know, coming to me and, you know, expressing these concerns about the one-on-one. And I took it out of the, what's the right word, out of, sorry, I'm blanking on the word. Context? Out of context, basically.

You know, I'm seeing, you know, Jess show all of this, like, emotion and anger with me about this, when like all the time, for the weeks leading up to this, like we had it very strong. And I wasn't, you know, necessarily, knowing that she was, you know, worried about not having a one-on-one. And then I see her on this, you know, great cocktail party. And she's very upset with me.

And I was caught off guard. I was not expecting that because, you know, through the weeks, you know, with Jess, I was confident with her. And the issue was, and I don't know if it was fully brought in there, but, you know, the nerves played a huge tractor with her. And I wanted her to feel very comfortable with me. And I felt very comfortable with her from a very early point. Like I had a moment with her, I think it was week too,

where I shared something with her that I've never shared with anyone. And she had this like ability to make me feel comfortable like that. And that was something awesome. And I was like, wow, there's something really strong about Jess. I'm digging. And as those weeks transpired, whenever we would talk, She wasn't, like, you know, getting too comfortable with me and the nerves were, you know, to a point that were becoming the topic of our conversation of like, like, are you comfortable with me, Jess? Like, is this going to be okay? And that instilled a little bit of fear of me of like, once you do a one-on-one date, like you spend all day with someone. And, you know, it's, you know, it's an important date. And I completely see where she really, really wants one. Everyone wants one. And, you know, I guess where my, of me saying, like, I feel so confident was, like, I really didn't have, like, any doubts other than the nerves and, you know, going on a one-on-one date.

But, like, it just all of a sudden hits this boiling point of, you know, all this, you know, emotion and anger. And I'm caught off guard because I never knew she was feeling this strongly about not having the one-on-one. And she was thinking it was me not wanting to take her or me not liking her. That was, you know, farthest thing from the truth. And it was just like a shocking moment where we didn't say anything. We both stood up and walked out and like I still look back at it and it is a confusing tough thing that I know I could have handled better and I knew she was frustrated and, you know, we've talked since about it. um but i don't know it's it was just one of those moments of like even watching it back like i don't agree with the way i handled it but there wasn't ever any bad intention behind it

it was like shocked from me but completely understanding where she's coming from like she wanted to just spend that one-on-one time i took it as like are you like it's not just about one-on-ones it's about everything yet totally makes sense that that's what she needed and And I couldn't give that to her. Are you the type of person? Because I was too on the show where, like, there were certain conversations where if I was caught off guard or shocked or like not fully prepared for like what I was going into, it takes me quite a while to process things really to like, sometimes I need to step away and think about like, how do I want to react? What do I actually want to say? What points do I want to get across?

And sometimes when you're filming the show, you, quite frankly, just don't have the time to be able to do that. Are you kind of that person, too, where you're like, sometimes I just need time to process all of this and I'll come back. And did you feel like in that conversation, you just weren't allowed given, you know, the structure of the show? In that circumstance itself, I think it was because it was such a surprise for us both that we were having this conversation. that it was kind of like the heat of the moment type thing. And I am someone that loved a process because I want to, you know, think everything through. I want to, you know, act the best way I can with the best intention and figure it out. And when they're, when the last thing you could ever imagine happens of her feeling so upset and she goes home, like that whole situation just kind of felt like a weird dreamlike state.

Yeah. Yeah, it could have gone, you know, 50 other different ways. You know, maybe we like took us that back and like we're both trying to understand each other's, you know, perspective. And I failed on that. But, you know, it just, just a weird, tough night. Yeah. It's such a hard environment too because when those things happen, it's not like you can instantly reach out. And especially in the situation, if you have.

have these feelings. I'm like, okay, so this did happen. But it's also, I'm still the bachelor. I'm still looking for my person. And you have to move forward and really like focus on that. It's hard. It's like you're not going to, whereas like it was a friend or any, any something that happens, you'd call them a few, like hours later, a day later and be like, hey, let's work through this. But in this situation, it's like they go home. You have to wait until the tell and you have to wait you have to wait for a long time and it's like you also have to focus on your energy too with like okay this happened but i can't speak i can't i mean i'm not can't speak with her right now like physically can't and i have to continue right right yeah yeah you have to as the best as you can't

try to just regain composure and um you know when you do have some some some downtime time like just try to process what happened and that was something that I you know for weeks tried to like mentally wrap my head around like what had happened and you know now watching it back like and talking with her it's it's been something that I think you know was was great for us both to talk about and and I understand where I I missed the line and and I wanted her to know that like that's not what I wanted for us and not how I wanted her to feel like that was the broadest thing from it, but my actions showed that you could absolutely see it as that. So I apologize for that.

And I think we're on good terms. Yeah, I'm sure we'll see it. I'll play out next week on the tell-all, those main moments, like where you, we all get the closure that we need, so to speak. Okay, let's get into this week then in Budapest because you had two one-on-one dates and then the group date, which we really want to get into this group date. Michelle and I had our thoughts about it. So many questions. Michelle, do you want to get into it? Because I know, like, you can I get into it?

Yeah, take it away. Okay. Okay. My first question for you is outside of this experience, have you ever gone to a psychic? Have you ever, you know, spoke to mediums and worked with any of these different things? Are you a believer, Zach? Are you like, and you don't have to be like full in or full out, just, you know what I mean? there's people who are open to it and there's people who are not and both sides is completely valid yeah

to be honest i have never dealt with anything like this like a medium a psychic like the magic ball stuff like i've never never done that my i think my dad when he was a kid was like he was raised kind of like that but he's like you don't do that anymore so i'm familiar with it i've never once had like a i think i've had one tarot card reading and that was on last season but other than that like it's not my my scene I'm more of like I like magic like I was sold on a magician and then a mentalist so as you're going

into this date how how was it when you were sitting down and this mentalist he really he seemed very legit and kind of showed that he was valid

or what is it not a reliable source but he was here spot on he was spot on um was it hard for you to just you know these women are being so so vulnerable but after they're vulnerable it's hard because they don't get to have you don't get to have a conversation and you don't necessarily get to sit and console or like have them elaborate elaborate on anything that they're saying and you're seeing that they're hurting or you're seeing that they're struggling and i did see you kind of reach over and comfort um multiple of the win them in when they started get choked up or when they started to get emotional was that really

hard that was in a group setting but also just the whole fact of like this person is bringing these things out of them and it's hitting home or it's you know and you're trying to help them with their emotions but you're also trying to process wait how am I perceiving this how do I feel about this can you kind of explain how you handled that date yeah I mean it was it was a very strange date because, as I said, you know, it started with, you know, magic and kind of lighting up, you know, the mood and everyone was feeling good. And then at the end, and what was really shown is when we are sitting down on the stage and talking about, like, you know, when Labib is like pulling out, like, stuff about them, you know, stuff that, you know, has, you know,

hurt them or trauma or something they're trying to work on. And I'm seeing them be emotional. it was very painful to see because you can't do it really in a group setting of like really trying to console and you know get and kind of dig deeper or not dig deeper if it's not something you want to talk about more but just having a better idea and I know I do know that after that date it really did mess with all the women like it was something that did shock them because they weren't expecting to feel that on a group date you know that are typically been really fun and um you know different this this one just really i don't want to say like it shook them but it did because they weren't expecting that day i wasn't expecting it to get

to that like no idea and you know i wanted to that night um at the after party you know ask them how they're feeling about it but also see like you know was the you know was the line drawn somewhere like did like did it go too far like tell me how you're feeling about that because that was like you've been shocked because i i just observed it was one of those things of like this mentalist stuff it's not in my realm i i don't know if it's truly real or not and this and that and and now i'm i'm you know hearing some really sensitive information that obviously is having an effect on all the women and i i'm trying to to i guess sort like sort through it mentally of like okay is this you know, like, is this real, like what this guy,

Labib is, is, is, is sharing. And obviously the women are really hurt. So, like, I want to get to, you know, the bottom of it and see if they're truly okay. And I don't know. It was, it was not what I thought the magician date was going to be. Right. Right. I wish we would have seen more of the magic just because it was like, is this a red,

wait, do I need to be focusing on the red flags or do I need to be focusing on the consoling or wait, what's going on here? It was just a whole mind F, honestly. It was a very mentalist date. It was a very, yeah, but they're normally not that heavy, I feel like. I wanted to see the magic tricks, so next time. I have a question that has to do with this date, but I'm going to ask both of you this. Okay, we're going to have a real, just brutally honest moment.

When you were both contestants on the bachelor and bachelorette, and I'm saying this because there was a point where Kat was in the hot seat with this mentalist and he, He asked her, like, have you thought of leaving at any point in this journey? And she said, well, yeah, did either of you throughout your, I hate same journeys, but I'm going to say it. Adventure. Throughout your adventures on Matt's season and Rachel and Gabby's season, ever think about leaving, whether like it was just so overwhelming for you, you didn't know if this was the race, whatever it might be. Was there any point where that crossed your mind? Michelle, do you want to go first?

Yeah. I think where I, when you like struggle, it's not like I'm taking off and I'm leaving. I think it's natural to feel incredibly uncomfortable and question things. And so in my situation, there's just so many things that go into this where like you're trying to constantly read the situation. and you're reading the situation from the moment you step in until the moment you're you know you never truly know you never truly know as a contestant if even if you're like a runner-up position or if your hometowns you never know if it's actually you and so of course as a human you're going to question it yeah it's like the fear of your heart being broken because you know yeah it might

not be you at the end so the easy way out is to just like think in your mind okay let me I'm leaving. I'm leaving. And like, for me, like, I remember, you know, on night one of last season, I was like, I don't know if this is my thing or not. Like I was like, not my cup of tea. And that's, you know, before meeting the women. But still, like, it's such a scary environment you're in.

And it's all goes down to having like, it's just normal fear. Like everyone is. Yeah. It's like not about the person. No. I'm not leaving you because you're not worth it. It's just like, what is going on? this is yeah when I wanted to ask you that because I will say there was one week it was like week six or seven on our season where I hadn't had a one on one date in since week one and I was I felt like I was falling behind I felt like he was having connections stronger than mine up until that point so I was like well what am I still doing here like I'm uncomfortable I feel like I'm falling behind so there was one week where I was like I shouldn't maybe just go home like if he's falling in love with these other girls that's it

incredible, but like right now it doesn't feel like me. And so I asked that because like when Kat said, well, yes, I'm sure some viewers took it as like, oh my gosh, well, she's not here for the right reasons and she must not be that into Zach. You know, like people's minds go to like these weird places when all you hear is the yes and you don't hear the why behind it. But I could empathize with Kat in that point because I was like, I'm sure most contestants at some point or another, whether they admit it or not have probably thought maybe I should just leave and remove myself and maybe this isn't for me. And so I think the more people like talk about that, even though it might be taboo. And again, like not here for the right reasons. I think it's important that

people say like we're all out of our elements at some point or another. And it's just a common, I think, human emotion that everyone goes through on the show. So for Kat, like, and I know everyone was struggling this week and especially on this date, but I could see where she's, was coming from when she said that. But, um, okay, Zach, um, I know that you're a busy, busy man and we don't want to keep you too much longer, but, uh, just a couple more questions before we get into the end of this. We all know you're going into hometowns next week, which is such a pivotal part of this all. Like it, it's when it really gets real. You're meeting the families. You're, you're meeting potential in-laws. So how are you feeling now? Are you ready to

watch hometown week back yet or do you are you pretty nervous for this one i'm pretty nervous i mean like all weeks i'm nervous for watching it but this one in particular like i'm very curious to see again just how like everything you know did go you know all four of the families are very special like they really are very unique um and it was an overall great experience but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was maybe the hardest week, maybe. Well, I know on me, I felt like that was one of the most stressful weeks of this entire thing because it's like you, its families are involved. And I'm like a big brother in my own, you know, life.

And I'm going to be meeting big brothers. And I know exactly how they're going to feel about me. So it's like going to like, no, not going to war, but it's like, be prepared to like, you're going to see it all. So it'll be good. All right. Well, we're excited to see that. And then obviously after that, that home or, yeah, hometowns will air Monday.

The Women Tell All airs Tuesday. So we'll have a back-to-back episode night. Without giving too much away, is there anything that you can tease us for what's to come, like what to expect with the remainder of the season? Yeah. I'll just say after Women Tell All, overnight week fantasy sweet week

um it uh it gets I don't want to use the word juicy but it gets oh fantasy sweet weeks come in a I was going to say now

fantasy sweet the word juicy no it's uh very descriptive chains and juicy it's juicy and it's juicy and does not necessarily go the way I think we all thought it would. Oh, interesting. That's a really good teaser. Well, yeah. Now I'm thinking like, not what I'm

nervous about. That's, that's, that's, dang. Interesting. Okay. Oh, okay. Now, I mean, like, obviously we're going to watch the rest of your season, but damn, now I'm very intrigued about all this. Okay. Seriously. Okay. Juicy and not the way we think it's going to go. That's great. Well, okay, usually at this point we play a game, but again, I know you thought you're busy. So we're just going to wrap it up here. And with all of our guests, we get into this resource section where we like to share a different resource. It's so important for our listeners to stay informed. And we just like to offer a place where they can go and easily access these different resources on what we're sharing.

And so I'll kick it off. And then Michelle will go. And then, Zach, you can share your resource at the end. But I'm going to pivot from the usual topic of what we do. And the resource I'm sharing this week is an Instagram video with John Stewart. And anyone can go on to the account, the problem with John Stewart. And it's actually a recent interview that he did with, I think it was an Oklahoma senator, I believe. Basically, he interviews this senator about the Second Amendment and gun rights and why he's advocating for, like, stricter requirements for guns and just watch it the senator is trying to argue the opposite doesn't do a great job but it's such an important topic we've seen so many mass shootings in this country and guns are the leading cause of death for children in this country yeah and so he's basically interviewing this the senator and advocating for why we need better regulations in place for people to

own guns. And so it's, I think, eight minutes. It's an interesting watch. So I would highly urge everyone to go there. Again, it's called The Problem with John Stewart. So that is my resource for the week. And now, Michelle, if you want to share yours. Mine's going to be super short and quick. I'm all about anti-racism. It's a huge journey. It's a lifelong choice. But really making it's efficient for people when they're coming down to putting it with the work. And so there's, it's called anti-racism daily. It's, you can get it in a book form. You can get it in an app form.

And essentially, it's like kind of like your daily quote. I'm a big quote person. But a quote comes across my screen every single morning on my, on, on whatever app, quote, app I'm using. Same concept here, except for it's like either resource, it's a quote, or it's just like, a question to reflect and think about, like a thought-provoking question. And so it's short and sweet gives you a lot to think about. And it's also a really good conversation starter, whether it's at the dinner table, whether it's in your work life, things like that. And yeah, so it's called A-R-D is what the app's called. And I'll link that. A-R-D. Thank you, Michelle. And now, Zach, you are up.

Yeah. You know, for me, St. Jude Children's Hospital is something that I hold near and dear to my heart. And recently, I was just at a fundraiser event for them. My uncles did fundraising money for them for over 10 years. But the cool thing, and what I love about St. Jude is that they support families of all backgrounds, all socioeconomic, race backgrounds, money, and they make sure that they help every child and family that comes in to the point that there will not be a single bill ever sent to the families of anyone of any children that is going through any um you know medical issues

cancer um all the research it's all handled fully from uh st jude um and i i'm just the biggest fan of them um but uh it's it's pretty cool work what they're doing and making sure that no family like no matter how little money you make, it will be fully covered. Housing, bills, food, travel for all the family that's involved for a child that's going through it. That's incredible. That's really

wonderful. They do such a nice job, yeah. So, thank you, Zach. The last thing we have for you before you head out of here is your Rose and Thorn. And I think you've done this the last time you were on Happy Hour. But basically, your rose is your highlight, favorite moment

thus far on the show. show, and then the Thorne is obviously a messy moment, awkward, something that you cringe at when you think about. Oh, yeah. I can feel on. He's like, how long do I got here? I can just write it out and give you a checklist. I know.

Rose. One thing that I still get, you know, people coming up to me talking about it, and I loved it, and it's something that I'll never forget. And it happened a while ago was the Bachelor Bowl. The amount of people they come up to me about that, just seeing how well the girls played, how hard they put effort in, how cool our surprise guests were.

Like that was one of those just moments that has not been lived down by any means. So that's one I always look back on. But there's been so many very romantic dates that I do replay over. in my mind quite a bit but i think the bachelor bowl is something that i'll get stopped about it like all the time and a lot of it's my football buddies um yeah would you say that's your favorite group date because i was going to ask you that earlier does that like take the cake for your favorite group date yes yeah i i loved that i also thought the the bahamas one was pretty cool because it was

different was actually us just hanging out like it wasn't like any weird mentalist type thing there wasn't any like game for rules it was like let's just all have a barbecue a beach party yeah Bahama Mamas constantly almost too much okay how much do you cringe when you said I'm just a Bahama Papa

searching for my Bahama I love it did it get made into a gift or a meme I don't know I'm like stretching midway through it I'm like not thinking clearly I just no I mean that's

I embrace the cringe I was so funny. I was cackling when you said that. Because then I think a guy on Instagram like two seconds before you said he was like, I guarantee he's going to say he's a Bahama pop, a search of him where his Bahama mama and then two minutes later

pops up and he's like, I called it. You gave us all a laugh so thank you. It was good. It was very entertaining. Yes, thank you. And then your thorn. My thorn. I think the biggest

thorn of the whole season would be just about the entire week in London you know not all of it you know

I still had the time to have a one-on-one date there but that whole week just was such a curveball that we kind of were all scrambling like we didn't know

what to do like this hasn't happened before you know it hurt it hurt all the women they didn't know what was going on I didn't know

when I was going to see them next and you know then there was you know the Zoom or the virtual cocktail things, you know, that, as we all, like, saw, like, I, you know, could have handled that better as well. But it was just such a frustrating, confusing week where everyone I know was just guessing, like, what the hell is going to happen. Yeah, right.

Well, that's the person we've ever had to deal with that. I mean, the show has had to restructure so much just since COVID. I mean, we've seen seasons that were quarantined. But, yeah, that was the first time we've ever seen the lead have COVID and have to figure it out. I mean, they figure it out. They will figure anything out on this show. They really are the magicians. Let's be honest.

But, yeah. Silver lining. Silver lining. You broke history. There we go. And you probably got way more sleep. Honestly, I was thinking about that. I'm like, God, this has got to suck because he probably misses these women.

But I was like, dude, he's catching up on. so much sleep and that has got to be nice oh well well sack thank you so much i know beck and i were are happy to just have learned so much more about you i know it was a crazy launch to your season i know that there's a lot going on there's always a lot of noise and bachelor nation at times too and there's not there's support and sometimes there's not a lot of support but i hope you can patch yourself on the back truly i mean it when i say there's They call you boring or whatever it is, but you truly do and have seen, I've seen you make these women so comfortable, which is the way that you handle conversations, the way that you acknowledge the awkwardness of the camera in your conversations and just kind of getting everyone to embrace, just embrace the whole show experience. And that's not hard to do when you are also learning and getting your lead legs underneath you.

No, that it is hard to do is what you meant to say. applaud you. So sorry, yeah. It's very hard to do. It's not, it's sorry. Yeah. It's very hard to do. Or I sometimes think that when people are there as leads, you're the lead of a show, but it's like not like, none of us have been here before. We don't know how to do this. We don't know what the hell we're doing. And it's so different from being a contestant. And so truly, like, you've done such a great job with making those women comfortable as comfortable as possible in this really weird situation. Yeah. And we're really happy, like you were able to join.

us today. I know it's a crazy time putting ourselves back in this limbo phase where you're hopefully in love and want to share it with the world and you just can't. And so you have been so incredible to watch with these women. They all seem like so enthralled with you and you really have a great cast. So the best part I will say is yet to come once all of this craziness is over. you do have a lot to look forward to. And in the meantime, I mean, from two leads who have been in your shoes, we are here to answer questions, advice, to vent, to bitch, whatever it needs to be. We are here. And just know that, like, the light is at the end of the tunnel, good times ahead. And we're here to support you. So the next time we see you on Happy Hour, we hope that you're

accompanied by some wonderful lady next to you. If that smiles, indication. I think this worked for you. So we will wait a couple weeks to find out. But thank you in the meantime. And again, we're always here. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Well, Michelle, I'm glad that we finally had him on. And it's nice having the leads on further in the season as opposed to like right after night one because we have so much more to chat with them about. Yeah, they're just and I didn't really think about that until today. But after our conversation with Zach but it's like when you're it is nice to have them on the beginning because I mean you talk about the excitement and there and all these different things and what could

potentially come but now that we're in this stage where it's already filmed and now he's already going through the process of like rewatching it he's done like the press tours he's done all those different things he's it's just you become more comfortable with speaking about it vulnerable there's just more like wisdom there I guess not that there's not before but like it's just easier to speak about a different like a deeper understanding of how everything kind of works postseason I would say and he's and that's why like we're we love always having new guests on again like every week I love having the new contestants on because we get to know them more and I'm happy that we finally had him on because I felt like he could

kind of reflect and hopefully feel like he was in a safe space with us because like we've been in his shoes we've all made mistakes there's things that we've regret Reditor wish we did differently. And so we can empathize with him. But I'm glad that he was in a place where he can kind of now reflect and be like, you know, I wish I would have handled this a bit differently. Or I can see where somebody was coming from during the conversation. And so, Zach, thank you. We know that you're a busy, busy man. He is in the midst. He is probably traveling like crazy, constant interviews. Like his life is about to get even crazier. And so the fact that he could take an hour or two out of his day to just chat with us. I really appreciate.

So it was great to have you, Zach on and Michelle good to be back with you again. And a huge thank you to all of our happy hour listeners. Of course, we couldn't do this every week without you. So thank you for tuning in. And just a quick reminder, next week is going to be a bit different. So like usual, you'll still catch your normal bachelor episode on Monday at 8.7 Central. But we also have an episode next Tuesday. HomeTowns is Monday. Tuesday is finally the women tell all, which, Michelle, I know that we're, I'm not going to say excited. We're looking forward to, I mean, obviously, and we should just touch on this, I guess, really quick since we're here. Let's do it.

There's obviously so much that has to be covered on the women tell all. Some of these women we haven't seen for weeks. What are you looking forward to for the tell all? I just think I can kind of just speak on. There's been a lot of conversations behind the scenes. I know, Becca, that you've been in some of those as well, to just really make sure that we're moving forward in a positive direction. And I'm interested and hopeful that for this next segment here with the Women Tell All,

that those things will be addressed and that also the cast is able to address just some different things that they've kind of navigating through as well and and so yeah that's I'm hoping for that yeah I think that's all I'll say yeah I think the one thing that we're interested in seeing and you know we kind of touched on this a bit at the very beginning of the season was some of the tweets and the social posts with Greer and she's somebody who we haven't seen a ton of on the season just given the circumstances of having COVID and not being able to travel. But we've all seen those tweets that are out there. And so I hope that this is a platform that a conversation can be had and that can be addressed. And so again, there's going to be a lot

that that goes down on the tell all as there always is. But I'm going to keep my fingers crossed. that that's something that's included because we've kind of dropped the ball a bit in the past on those conversations. So we will be tuning in next week definitely to see both the hometown episode and tell all again Monday and Tuesday, 8.7 Central on ABC and then you can also stream those the next day on Hulu. And another reminder is that casting is still open for men to date our next bachelorette. So if you are single yourself or if you know a friend or family member who is single that you want to nominate. Just go to the website, and that is bachelornation.com slash apply. And make sure to hit us up on social. You can follow us at Bachelor Happy Hour on

Instagram. And from there, you'll find everything you need to know to follow us on Twitter and TikTok. And for you Prime members, you can listen to Bachelor Happy Hour ad free on Amazon music. Just download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can also listen ad free with Wonderie Plus in Apple Podcasts. But before, you go, please tell us about yourself by completing just a short little survey at Wonderry.com slash survey. Thank you, everyone, and see you next week. Cheers.

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