Back Row and Chill with Jahannah James and Noel Clarke - Stay Home Special Series - Episode 27 - Kelly Reichardt, Monique Catalino, Bronte Barbe, Dex Lee

Episode Date: March 6, 2017

Monique Catalino of Cinema Made in Italy Film Festival to promote her amazing worldwide series of events. We played out the interview of when Jahannah met up with director of Certain Women Kelly Reichardt. In the studio we had The Wild Party’s Bronte Barbe and Dex Lee, who smashed our 90’s trivia game! And not to forget our honest film reviewer Lucy Patterson who popped by, make sure you check out her blog Popcorn and Pick n Mix!

This is a Fubar Radio podcast. Go to Fubaradio.com for more details. Ian Boldsworth on Fubar Radio. I'm eating a chicken teak of flatbread. Hello and welcome to the show, the final show of 2016. Here on, what's this called it? Boxing Day. Here on Boxing Day on the station.

Fubar Radio. Fubar Radio. Coming up at the show today. My bad, my bad, I didn't turn it down. Coming on the show today, we've got Tim Bell on the phone. Tim Bell. Tim Bell. Who's Tim Bell? Tell me.

No, no, you bought him. He created an starry. No time. Also on the show today, we have Mark Jehielben. Jehielben. Mark Jeheblen. Illustrator. Mark Jeheblen will be coming up on the show for your enjoyment.

Also, it's goodbye to Adam Day. Adam goes today. Last chance. Less chance to hear. Adam will be on the show, as with Jacob. Oh. But Adam's on. Ian Bolesworth on Fubar Radio.

Oh, welcome to the show. Cool. Do you know what? I've done that. What's that? I actually knew that. I don't know. It's the, it's all right.

It's nice. It's Christmas. Yeah. It's Christmas. Christmas. Eat-Wat music, in it. Yeah. When I pressed the button,

I realized I pressed another button at the same time. So I apologize for that, Natalie. It's okay, Ian. I feel now, because it's like, New Year coming up. Christmas. Christmas and New Year coming up. So what happens then? So is there a show missing then? There will be a best-of show.

Oh, fuck. I'll be. So you keep talking for a second. I've just spoken about it. Yeah, there's going to be a best-of-show. I'm going to say straight away that Connor, I'm going to try and play Anus in this show. But also, thank you for messaging Adam saying very best of him in Canada. Bump and Grindr was always something he looked forward to and he hopes Adam's successful there. That's real.

Yeah. Do they have Grindr in Canada? Yeah, that's why he's going there. tell you what you should put on the best of of that Miles Hunt interview from last week. I should have that on the best of it. Only the first part of it. Maybe the first 15 minutes of it put that on. I don't feel that was one of our happiest interviews.

Do you know what? Because I'm the same day. This is the same day when we're recording it. So I've been downstairs to meet, to have a meeting over something else. And I actually had to, we had to have like 10, 15 minutes without doing the meeting

because I was genuinely shook up. And I don't, I'm never going to listen to it back. ever. No. But I imagine I was probably a bit, I'm normally quite unflappable. I have to say you did a really bloody good job because... I don't know if I did or not. No, you did. Because I mean, also by the end of it

he was kind of okay, but the initial start when he was very pissed off. Yeah. But it kind of threw us because we didn't really know that was going to be... And we've also since found out that it was actually his end, the issue. Yeah, it wasn't. Not his end. It was his PR. But it wasn't... Because we got the email that said... We did have the email access. So it wasn't actually us that were in the

wrong. But that's the thing with Miles Hunt is that he's always had a bit of that about him and the first time I interviewed him on it on here remember we spoke about that yeah yeah and we spoke about me saying you could have kind of like come on and been a bit of a dick and then that might have ruined it for me and all that sort of thing because I know he's done that in the past been a bit balshy in that it's like sort of a sidde vicious that not Sidney rotten thing going on um yeah and that and he just bared his teeth a little bit then they well I knew during the interview that it because Adam had sent me the email and I thought I don't see

see how it's going to help at all if I jump in now and say, oh, it wasn't our fault. I didn't feel like that would help the situation and I don't really want to get anyone in trouble either. I tried to make it lighthearted as it went on. But it was a struggle that. But if he wasn't told the time had moved or the right time, then I can see why

he'd be not thrilled. I know, but it's hard then. Imagine it's how you must feel sometimes. I guess sometimes when I shout at you when you sort of must feel but this is my hero. Do you know what I mean? I'm sort of used to it now. I've got the Stockholm syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I look out. I look out for it. No, you love me, don't you? Say it.

I love you. There we go. So, it's that sort of thing that... It was hard. It was hard. I didn't say I love you with a smile. I don't want you to. Oh, God, it's like that is it? I love you. Yeah, I don't want you to. Hey, should we talk about what I just said to you in the other room? Because I nearly grabbed your tits, didn't I?

Oh, I thought you said Jacob did. No, no, I did. No, genuinely. And I think this is the issue. With Isha, with the pre-recorded shows, and I don't really know how we come about this. I think I get overtired. And also, because I've been sort of doing work stuff between shows just now because that's meet someone who's in London so I've not really stopped today

and I think I get to the point at this point now when I'm just too overtired and that what does that say about me that when I'm that tired I see a last walking towards me with big boobs you can't be a tit grabber I'm something in my... I know I'm not I'm not at all right I'm not at all right I'm not at all. You can't grab a tits

it's not okay I know all this but I think it was just when you walk towards me I was like and something in my head went just grab a boobs that's not all right is it? Okay, it's not at all And I didn't. I should say I didn't. No, you didn't grab. You didn't grab it.

But also, like, if you, you should ask permission to grab anything. It's difficult, though, isn't it, sometimes when it's impulsive. Like, if you're in a romantic situation, you don't want to go in, is it all right, ever now, touch you there. If it's already like, you've got to go ahead. Yeah, true, true. And I might, I might already have the go ahead with you really. No, I might. Right.

I mean, you might. But do you think because I've been such a good boy and I didn't do it, that now I get a free grab. So because you did not grab my boots, even though you're impossible. Because I didn't sexually assault you, can have a free consensual go of it. Let me mull this over for a few years. Why don't I put a song on? You can have a little thing about, should we start again this show? That's a really dodgy way to start.

No, it's okay. Should actually point out myself and Natalie are friends in real life. Yes, we are. This wouldn't be an appropriate conversation to have with the strangers, so don't think, don't mimic my behaviour. This is going out on air. If we weren't friends, this would not be going out. on air because I'll be cutting it out but I'm not going to cut this out because we are friends right

yeah but because we're friends right yeah do you know I think it's Christmas as well isn't it it's that time of year when that sort of thing is on really we're friends isn't it? I think you can just grab tits should you have the office party? Should have an office party? Yeah let's get the mistletoe mull to mould wine and mistletoe and grinder

how much does mistletoe cover is it just kissing or is it like? I mean I haven't looked into it see the T's and C's or mistletoe I mean mistletoe is an odd thing isn't it that's an odd I don't know what it is, to be honest. It's like a plant now. Who went old? Missile Toe's alright, you can get off with someone if you're under Missile.

That's the bit that I've got a problem with. Is it seems like a catch-all? Is it tongue-kissing as well or just a peck? Did I go and get some more, find out what we do? It's going to see what we do. Yeah. I just look to my playlist and it appears to be an awful lot of Christmas songs. It's some Christmas and then there's Lady in Red by Christopher.

So I just put that on there. But Christmas is finished now, isn't it? It's Boxing Day. It's still Christmas. No, no, no, you get Christmas up on show. No. It's very, very good. Yeah, Christmas Day still happen. I'm still right drunk.

I don't think it's still Christmas, isn't it? It's still Christmas. Boxing Day is Christmas. What did you do yesterday than Christmas Day? Just take some chicken. There'll be more Christmas anecdotes as the show goes on. Yeah. Really hope that you enjoy that you enjoy them. Here we go now with a Christmas classic, because it's got bells on it.

It's a pop group. It's 17. Do you know what? I once, I was supposed to say something. I once, many years ago, I'm going to play at a minute, calm down. Many years ago, I was at university, in fact, I drove from university with my then girlfriend to Waltham Abbey. Oh, yeah. So from Wakefield, where we were at uni, to Waltham Abbey where she lived. And I was, I took, so it's the first I'd ever driven on, you know, on my own, because I was driving back on my own, is what I mean.

and stay with the family. They were pricks. And on the way back, my radio broke. And I was in traffic. It was the longest traffic, to this day, the longest traffic jam I've ever been in. It was, I think, 13 hours on the M1. Okay? And my radio broke on that journey, about two hours in.

And all I had, right, all I could listen to, because it was broke, was this song. It was on a tape. The single, cassette single, stuck in my radio, and that was all. The radio wouldn't work. Oh, God. I can't remember if you even had a CD. No, it wouldn't have had a CD play, because it was a tape thing. I couldn't get the tape out, and it would play.

And I listen to this on repeat. It's a beautiful song, but I'm... 13 hours now. I'm not sure, but I think I'd give it five times, and then I'd be silent. I'm going to give it one more... Okay. It's the bells I was on about now. Playing the bells now.

That's what makes it Christmas now. Yeah. Christmas or Notre Dame. Just to get, just so you know what I mean Yeah When I said about that journey And then it was like this It was like this

I don't want to hear it again For hours No I don't want to hear it again Give you an idea of the story I was talking about Guest waiting I don't want to hear the song again

Fine, okay Okay That's no disrespect at E-17 I love them No fine No fine No you Let's do the show that Nat wants to do

We've got a guest on that That's fine, it's fine. Tim Bell's on the line. Tim, you there? Hi. Hi, Tim. Sorry, mate. I was going to, I'm trying to have a bit fun on my radio show, but my producer's saying I've got to do other things, so I've got to interview you now.

Yeah, that's right. We've had enough E-17, I think, for one show. Can you ever have enough E-17? No, Tim, don't play into his hands. No, good call. Good call. Good call, Tim. Let's play it again. Good call. It's pop steam on. Come on.

Yes, that's a tune. I'm all for other E-17 songs, just not stay another day. But the point of that was that I had to listen to it on repeat. So I don't want to hear it on repeat. Neither did I, that I was in a traffic jam. Well, Tim didn't want to. He's got a request in for Steam, and I appreciate that.

Sorry, Tim. Tim's getting the Miles Hunt treatment from the other side. Wow. How are you, man? Yeah, good. How are you doing? I'm all right, thanks. We appreciate you joining us, particularly now on Boxing Day, Wink. Yes. Exactly. Stuffed full of turkey.

Yeah, because it is Boxing Day wink. Did you have a nice Christmas wink yesterday? Oh, yeah. I'm just all the presents that I've got, wink. Unbelievable, wink. And what sort of present? What did you do on Christmas? Christmas Day yesterday, wink. Well, wink.

Well, I can't stop playing with my Mr. Frosty and the link deodorant box set my Auntie Christine bought me. Oh, cheers, wink. Wink. Wink. Do you know what that genuinely just reminding me of? Do you mean like one of the slushy Mr. Frosty things?

Yeah, the ace. Do you know what? I was at school. Do you remember like when at end of term? How old are you, Tim? Do you mind me asking? I'm 34. Okay, so it may also apply to you as well,

because I'm 21. But Wink Wink Yeah Nice On the last day of school Before the holidays

You could bring a toy in Was that sort of thing When you were at school? Yeah, it was Yeah Okay We did it at my school Like Burtonwood County Primary School

Oh my message is trying to ring me As if she doesn't know I'm on the radio She should know It's Boxing Day Wink Yeah Yeah

Wink Right so we all took like Star Wars figures in And stuff Right The original Star Wars figures And all that sort of thing an action man and all that sort of business and the lasses were bringing in whatever toys they had.

But one kid, right, turned up with a Mr. Frosty as his toy, right? But he also brought... If he brought a food processor as his toy. What? He brought kitchen appliances as his toy to play with. And we were all just... I remember just staring at him and just going, what are you going to do with that?

Why? It was like, give me a plug and I'll show you. We filmed it with plus. Seen and fucked. This is my soda stream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a soda stream. Sorry, it wasn't a Mr Frosty. It was a soda stream.

Oh, yeah. It was a soda stream. Anyway, so, well, well, well, well done on getting a Mr. Frosty for Christmas. That's good. Yeah, good. I've been asking for one for a long time, so I'm very pleased. I'm fine, that's finally come through for you, wink. Wink.

Wink. So what we're here to talk about today is from the 10th to the 14th of January. yeah what's going to be happening Tim I'm bringing my bearded lady show to Wilton's music hall finally yeah

yeah about did you say finally wink I just thought we had to say like over and out like over I thought it was like an over and out thing

over like you know they do sorry Tim I didn't think the my producer was going to disrespect your art no I am looking

quite so blatantly oh finally wink this is why I hang up isn't it no please don't do that term. Okay, fine, fine. I'm excited about this.

This is where you should start shouting now. He should start getting angry with us. That's what's been happening on the shows recently. Okay, well, tell us about that. So what's the bearded lady show, first. Well, it's called Dane Nature. I'm not the first bearded lady to follow East 17. It's called Damnature, the magnificent bearded lady.

Damnature? Damn mature? It's called Dame Nature. Oh, it's right. She's got ideas above her station. Nice. It is. it starts off as a comedy

and then goes somewhere quite dark and it's like my gigs that's on their face just that's what all my Christmas gigs have been Happy Christmas For yesterday wink Wink Wink Wink Wink Wink

It takes as its inspiration the story of real Victorian Bearded Ladies in particular One called Julia Pistrana who was the most famous Victorian beaded lady of her day. She was sold as being, in verticomers, just like a real woman. Wow. Okay.

She was married to the guy who ran the circus. Right. She married to her boss. And I think that's the way he got her to perform in the first place. Okay. When she dies during childbirth, tragically, and he had them, the husband had both the child, her taxi domed start and tore around for another four years before he married another bearded lady.

Shut up. I mean, it's a terrible dark story. But it starts as a comedy, yeah? Yeah, but it starts as a comedy. Let's concentrate on those bits. A lot of bearded ladies weren't allowed to walk down the street because if they walk down the street, they're blown their audience. I know one would pay to see them.

So they all spend a lot of time in. indoors, reading Victorian magazines, learning how to be, in verticomers, real women. Well, my show is set now, in 2017. That's next week that, mate. That's going to be a new next week. And it takes as its premise what would happen if somebody spent 26 years indoors reading women's magazines now, reading Reveal and Woman's Own and take a break. and what sort of person would they become then.

So there is a lot of comedy to be found there. As the show goes on, this is the first time she's ever spoken to somebody other than our husband in 26 years. And as the show goes on, she realizes that actually this stellar existence, again, in inverted comments that she thinks she's been leading, playing pub function rooms up and down the land,

is not all it's cracked up to be, and maybe she's actually trapped and is being sort of coerced into all sorts of stuff by the husband. So who, is she's talking to the audience, I presume? She is, yeah. Okay. Is that under the guise that she's speaking to someone else, or is she actually speaking to the audience? So she's actually speaking to the audience. Okay.

So she's performed every day with her husband, and he's broken his foot. He can't make this show. Okay. So, but she has to do it for the money. She's contractually obliged. So this is the first time she gets to speak to people on her own. Okay. Did you write this show?

I did, yeah. Okay. So you're like creator and star and everything? Yeah, all of the above. Yeah. Perhaps the most tragic part of the whole story is the fact she's a massive Phil Collins fan. I saw that in the press release. I just said that.

Are you a fan of Phil Collins? We're all fans of Phil, aren't we? I'm not. I'm not. I did, I think. one of my most vicious tweets I've ever done, which I try not to do now, but I did it the other week, because I think his autobiography has caused

something like still not dead or something like that. Is it? It is. Yeah. And my tweet was a picture of it, I took in Sainsbury's of that autobiography, and just a two-word tweet where I just said, I'll wait. Oh. Don't like him.

We like a bit of Phil. Don't like him. Easy love was a great song. Don't like him. With his three ex-wives and his, I think he divorced somebody by fact. By fact. By fax.

Yeah, by fax. I mean, that might even be urban legend now. I don't know if that's true. I think that might be in the book, whose title is still not dead. I'm looking at Jacob for some confirmation. It was somewhat like that. It was something on those lines.

I don't know. I just don't like, I've never met him. I've got it myself. This is purely on the public presumption of him. You know, I'm not saying that I've got him right. I'm not saying I'm correct. Can you look behind the artist? I just don't.

I just don't really like him. Well, I mean, they've been some. bad rumours flying around, haven't it? Not dead yet. He puts right in the book. But didn't he leave the country when Labour got into power for the tax reasons? Well, he certainly said he was going to do that, then they.

Switzerland for a bit. I don't know if that was anything to do with... I mean, I think it was one of the best Labour PR stonters has ever been. It's got to be a bit of a swing right there, aren't there? Right there, yeah. We need him to say it again. I'm not going smart.

And then send him to America, and he can talk about that as well, saying. I won't release any more albums. I don't know, it's just not for me It's not for me, that's all it is Right, yeah, okay, well He might be lovely, I've been wrong about people before He played both live age, didn't he? Got on Concord, did that thing

Oh yeah, he did. Oh yeah, he did, do they? Again, is that a big deal? I'd have done that, I'd have done it. Free ride on Concord. Do you think they paid him? Do you think he paid them? Well, someone's had to pay someone somewhere,

Someone's had to pay for the field somewhere, aren't they? Well, Concord, presumably, he would have not let anyone pay for, they would have shipped him, am I? So that's fuel that they needn't have used. Oh, right, wasting. If he hadn't wanted to be on his little ego trip. If indeed that's what it was. It's not going to help feed the world, is it?

Like Band-Aid said, by doing it. Not really, don't. But how's that helping Tim Sully's show? We're all wondering, Matt. None of this is helpful for your show, is it, mate? Happy Christmas. Yeah. Wink.

Wink. So you started, was it at the end of my friend you started at? So last year I did Lattitude and the Edinburgh Fringe Did some tour dates, Plymouth and Bristol-Ovick And some really lovely theatres and now coming into London for my London run Okay, I'll just say to you now I don't know why I thought it was all right to have a bite of flatbread It's Christmas

I don't know, yeah exactly, yeah it's left over turkey mate Oh God, I'm sorry I've had it in confirmation Just being clear this up that Phil Collins said he didn't didn't leave the country when Labour got in, he denied it, and he said it hurt his public persona. Clearing that up? Didn't he say that he was going to do it, though? I can't hear you, Jacob, because I can't lip-read. Also, Jacob, I'm not interested in Europeans on Phil Collins.

No, he's checking. He's checking what happened. Again, I think we're fixating too much on the Phil Collins thing. Yeah, let's move on from Phil. He's massively popular, isn't? He can't ignore the music. No, it's true. You can't ignore what's in the air to know. You can try, though. So go on, Edinburgh Fringe last year, and you did last year as well. Did you do that stupid tenet in Latitude, the one next to the comedy tent?

I did that ten in Latitude. It's horrible, isn't it? It was a difficult place to take a show about a woman who stuck in a coerceive relationship. Yeah, how did it go? I love Latitude. It was an amazing circle. That was a nicely diplomatic. There we go.

Do you know what? I've often said about latitude as well. sometimes, you know, people do just want to be somewhere where there's no black people. Do you know what I mean? And that's what... That's what latitude is as far as I'm concerned. That is not the case. That is not the case.

I've been at latitude twice. I've not seen a solitary black person. I mean... I'm not saying there isn't one there at all. No, that would be... Of course there's. But that's what... That's what Lattitude says to me. I have been there several times, and I have to say, I've never noticed it as being a non-multicultural place. I really... have. Have you? Yeah, really have.

I was probably just too drunk with them to sea straight. Yeah. What do you think, Tim, do you think there are black people at Lattitude? I'm still wondering how this is selling my show. Yeah, good point. Good point. Well, if you'll wait, I've got to follow up question, which is do you let black people into your show? Yes.

Right, fine. That's good, that's good and that's the correct answer. Fine, there we go. Right, that's all it was, mate. I'm all over this interview. Don't worry. I'm all over this interview. Don't worry. So what are your plans for? Because you're only doing four nights? Yeah.

And it's at Wilton's Music Hall. Five nights at Wilton's Music Hall. Have you ever been? I've not. But I believe it's beautiful. It's absolutely stunning. I think it's the oldest working music hall in the world. Oh, really?

Okay. Yeah. Oh, you sounded like you were going to expand on that. Sorry, that's where it went quiet. That's my fact. Yeah, that was like you were going to go, fact. Okay. Should we try again?

Yeah, go for it. You know, it's the oldest. working musical in the world. Is it really? Wow, wow. Fact. Thank you for the fact. In fact, Tim, could you actually, every week on this show? Could you just give us a fact every week? We'll just call you every week. Can it be that fact?

Oh, yeah. No, same facts again. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, fine. Then I'm your man. So what? I presume you've been in there already. Yeah, I have. I was there today. Or I wasn't there today. Oh, no. I heard you went last week. Yeah. Um, yes, I have. It's absolutely gorgeous. Why?

you can sort of feel between the brickwork the ghosts of all these people that have played there for years and years and years and years. There's no such thing as ghosts, that's the only problem. There might be. The problem is there. Do you know who's played there? Hasn't played there?

Mary Lloyd, I reckon Mary Lloyd's been there. Yeah, probably. Christopher Lloyd? Do you think Christopher Lloyd's played there? Lloyd Grossman? Yeah, probably. Any other Lloyds? Lloyd Grossman?

Lloyd Griffin? Grossman, undoubtedly he's played there. Yeah? I wonder who else has played there. Can you, Nat, can you Google

who's played Wilson in musical and we'll spend the rest of the day? Just going through. Just reading out a list of people and then it'll end with Tim Bell with his show Dame Nature,

the magnificent biddy lady comes to Wilson's musical. I'll end it like that. My middle name is also Lloyd. Is it really? No. No, she could, wink. Just say wink.

Dan Leno. He's a wink. Dan Leno has? He's played there. He's played there. He's been there. What's your, What's your feelings for the future of the show?

Do you see it running on and on? Because it sounds like it's a sort of thing that will have legs in terms of the continuum with it. Yeah, she's a really interesting character and I'd like to do more with her. It's going to go on, it's touring over the next six months anyway.

Oh, okay. So there's loads of dates on my website. Havocfeited.com, plug, wink, plug. Spike my look at us. Sorry, Nat's still talking about something from Marvin Arago. What, say the website again? Havoctheater.com.

Is that your company? Yeah, it is. That's really cool. What other things do? Can I be in something? Yeah, what do you want to be in? I don't know. What if you got, sort of...

Cats, we could do Cat, um, Starlight. I'd have to be old Deuteronomy, unfortunately, at this age. I'd like to see your Amtum Tum, Tago. Do you know what, mate? You really wouldn't, especially in Wilton's musical, because I imagine it's cold. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of those seats are a long way back. Yeah.

The last thing you want, mate, is my Romp Tomtugger being paraded about the place at Wilson's musical. Wink. Fantom, wink. I've always quite fancied playing the Phantom in the Phantom of the Opera. Yeah, okay. Why do we do that and then Joseph? We could do the first half of Phantom and the second half of Joseph. No.

What we're going to do, right? Appreciate your input. Yeah, thanks. And please don't think I'm not a team player, but no. What I propose we do is that we do the second half of Phantom of the Othek. opera because, oh no, hang on a set though, because I want to do the bit right before the interval. There's a bit where he sort of, it's a bit where he shows it, you know, where he bears his teeth right before the interval, the phantom where he goes and says about

about Christine turning her back on him and all that and you can see his nastiness starts to rise. Oh, is he a dick, Phantom? I haven't seen it. I thought it was nice. Well, he's kind of betrayed really, and then and then he reacts quite viciously to that. Oh, right. Why is he and have a mask on half his face? I've always wondered that. guess? I don't know. Because his face is all fucked.

He's dead as well. What do you think it's a fashion statement? What did you think what's going on with Phantom of the Opera? I thought it was a ghost of the opera. It's a Phantom of the Opera. It's not for me. You might be it. You might even know who's deformed

until a minute ago. Anyway, point of the matter is. This is what I want to do. And you can, you're being in it as well, Tim. Yeah, okay. But I'm playing the Phantom. You can be Raoul. Fine. Isn't that from Street Fighter?

No, it's different Raoul. You can be Raoul and Christine, so we can keep the cost down, and we've already established you can play a man and a woman, essentially. Yep. Yeah, so you can be both. You can be Christine with a beard,

but it's Raoul as well. Okay. So we'll do the... Just before the interval of Phantom and the next sort of like... And the second half, right? Right, yeah. But that's weirdly the first half of our show.

Interesting. And this performance art. Yeah, but the second half. second half of our show is all of the Rocky Horror show. Okay, so it's long, if nothing else? Well, Rocky Horror is, no, but if you do Rocky Horror in its original incarnation, it's only like 65 minutes, 70 minutes. The original theatre upstairs play.

And I'll be playing Frankenfeiter, because I've always wanted to play Frankenfeiter, but you wouldn't think I'd be a traditional one, because I wouldn't, because I'm a little mussely man. Okay. From a certain angle in the theatre, it can look fat. No, it's muscle. But it's mainly muscle wink, right? But I've always wanted to play Frankenfeiter in that way.

Like, I've always wanted to play Frankenferter as a little balshy little twat. Rather than being a sort of a beautiful staturess person, I've always liked the idea of playing it differently and playing him like a little fucking ugly little twat. You've got wear suspenders, haven't you? That's fine. Okay. It sounds like you're the right man for the job.

Yeah. All right, I'll let it go. All right. But I'm going to get one of those floppy cocks you can get. You know, them, I think, drag queens sometimes wear them. Floppy cock? Not drug queens, that's the wrong way around, isn't it? Yeah, you can buy like a false cock, but a cock on the slack.

Cock on the slack? Yeah, he can buy one of them. I'm going to put that in, because, again, I think it's going to be really cold in Wilson's. Oh, we see, right, okay. Just put socks? And then the other pair of knickers. You can tell if it's socks. What did Wham do, shuttlecocks?

They used to do that. So it's called damnature. Oh, right, yeah. Okay. So, but it's an ace idea for a show there, man, and it's a really nice sort of, I like that idea that it starts as comedy

and then goes dark. I think that's really cool. Yeah, I think comedy's a good way of getting people interested, hooking people in. Yeah. And then once you've got them, you can say whatever you want to say, I think.

Yeah. And do you envisage using it as a stand-up character or anything like that, you know, taking it out and would it lend itself to that? Could you do, like, variety stuff as this character? It started off that way And actually, because of the sensitivity of the subject I think something I've learned through doing it

It's not best suited to that Yeah, you're right You're absolutely right, go on, because Well, it's just, you know, she's in this trapped relationship And it becomes difficult to do the stand-up So you end up taking the piss And you don't want to be taking the piss Yeah, no, you're absolutely right

By the way, just so you know, mate I've just seen on Wilton's website. They're supported by the Andrew Lloyd-Weber Foundation, so we should be able to get Phantom rights-free. Yeah, great. We're in. Only half a Phantom. There's no mention of Rocky Horror. I think we've all fallen out, actually.

As we're only doing half, they'll probably do this deal on the rights as well. No, that's Andrew Lloyd-Weber's thing, because the Phantom is Lloyd-Weber, but Rocky Horror isn't Lloyd-Weber. Right. I think we'd have to get permission from Samuel French, and I think that Rocky Horror, London, I think it's called,

company, they've all fallen out. Have they? Yeah, Richard O'Brien and Michael White and all them. Like, they've all Michael White died, didn't he? Jim Sharman, I'm thinking of. Yeah, they're not, they've all fallen out. Meat Knife. Meath is not at his best either. Sorry, Meat Knife.

Meath, he's a, it's a tribute band. He's not, is he? He's really not. Do you know what? We've discussed that on this show a little bit. It makes me very sad. I'm a big fan of Meatloaf. I like him a lot. I went to see him a couple of years ago at the O2. You're going to slag him off? Well, that gig was marked by more grown men crying Oh really?

Really? ...of being consoled by their wives who no longer understand them. Is that a trick, really? Totally, yeah, it was emotional. I would like to see that, room full of grown men crying, lovely. I don't think you're going to see Mealaf Live ever again. Well, oh, maybe, maybe not. Not doing a gig.

No. He might do a performance on... I don't think he will. A show? I think he's poorly. that's what I think and it's the magnificent bearded lady that you're

The magnificent bearded lady It's gone dark, it's interview now isn't it? How do you feel the interview's gone? Can you rate it? Tim. Because we're in this post-Christmas lull. That's what it is, we're all full wink. Yeah, wink.

What would you have done differently if you'd have been interviewing you? I just have got to say where it went wrong. Phil Collins, probably. Phil Collins, yeah. Was it ever right? That's the issue. Was it ever right?

It was very right when we started. Was it? Okay, I started. So I've derailed it, by. Get it back up at the end, though. Okay. I can't do this with every guest. Okay. Do you know what? It's becoming a trend, this, having to win back an interview.

We never lost him. All right. I'm here, I'm here still. Right, here we go. This is it. Here we go. This is it. You ready? Yeah. Why would people come to your show?

I think it sells itself, but why do you, as the performer and creator of the show, why did you create it? Why did you think there was an audience? That sounds passive-aggressive, doesn't it? Why on earth did you think anyone would want to? What are you doing with your life? You sound like my mum. Why on earth are you doing this?

What did you think? What were you thinking when you put this together? Right, but I'm not saying that. What were you thinking when you put this together? What did you think you were bringing to the same? I thought it was a good opportunity to be funny, yet say something that's poignant.

Good. Good. And do you feel like from the performances you've done so far and the performances you're going to be doing in a couple weeks' time, wink, from the 10th to the 14th of January, 2017 at Wilson's Musical,

do you think from the responses you've had both within the room on feedback on, I don't know, social media or perhaps just on your website or anything like that, that website, which of course is, what was it again? Haveaccessa.com. That one.

It's not your press release that, by the way. Right, there you go. Do you feel that you've succeeded in that, or do you feel there's a journey yet to come, or do you feel like it just hasn't worked? I feel like we've succeeded. You feel like we've succeeded? Okay.

Yeah. Based on... Based on all the feedback we've had saying we've succeeded. What's been your best bit of feedback that you've had? A woman on Gumtree who saw the show, Then bought... Gumtree? Yeah, Gumtree.

Okay. She saw the show in Bristol and then bought tickets to see in Edinburgh and then tried to sell the tickets on Gumtree said it's good and a bit bonkers. Good and a bit bonkers is a good review. Stick that on your posters. Yeah, can I put it on mine?

Yeah. Oh, cheers, mate. Well, I think it sounds genuinely thrilling. Oh, good. I feel now like everything I say is going to sound sarcastic. It does, yeah. don't mean it to. I really don't, man. I feel terrible. I do, no, I think it sounds ice. I do. I genuinely think it sounds ice. Like, well, well, well done. Thanks very much.

Merry Christmas. I know, no, it's too late for that. No, it was yesterday. No, it was yesterday. Happy New Year. We're into Happy New Year. Happy New Year. What are you doing for the New Year, Tim? Oh, God, it's only a couple of days ago, and I've got no plans. Yeah, soon, isn't it? You've not even got a week yet. Soon, get back at planning. What do you imagine you're going to be doing? Probably go to a party with some friends And another dull answer But it's genuinely what's going How many friends have you got?

Can I count you? Yeah, of course Great. One. Do you know what? We are best friends I always like to leave an interview Best Friends with the person that I've interviewed

As it never ends the interview You continue it until they have best friends Sometimes up to the point where I have to finish the show Which is what I did last week Sometimes they're ground down. We could stay until next Christmas. We could. Next Christmas we could plan to do something.

Let we could do that. Let's keep going. Where'd you live? Peckham. I don't really like Peckham. I'll tell you what, I've lived there seven years. It has changed. How long?

When did I live there? Ages ago. I lived technically East Dulwich. I lived on Solway Road. But honestly, you could throw a bottle out of your window, and it was positively encouraged. and it would land in Peckham. That's how close to Peckham it actually was.

Outside my house on a Friday night is now like Falaraki. Really? Terrible. I'm sorry, mate. Do you want to come live with me? Yeah, all right. Where do you live? I live up...

I kind of keep it secret, but let's just say if I wanted to watch Shakespeare, I wouldn't have to go very far. So you lived near a cinema? No, if I wanted, like... If I wanted to go to like Shakespeare museums and stuff Or to go and see something that was like a Shakespeare play performed Or just get like a load of Shakespeare tat from a news agent

I wouldn't have to walk that far Stratford-a-Von I keep it secret where I live mate But I'm just saying it's a you know You're not far off you're not far off the area there Yeah okay yeah fine But geographically you are so it's going to be a murder in it For us to sort of meet up and do stuff

but I think... Well, especially if I'm living with you. So we're going to live together and then meet up and do stuff? No, no, no, no. I'm saying as it stands now, where you live in Peckham, it's difficult for us to meet up. So that's what I'm actually saying, I'm encouraging the idea that you come and live with me.

Yeah, okay. Right, fine. Yeah, I'm in. Do you have a partner? I do have a girlfriend, yeah. Okay. How would she... Would she want to move in as well?

Probably not. Do you live together? No. Oh, fine, fine, that's okay, then. I think it'd be a big first step to move in with her and you at the same time. Okay, I'm actually going to text my message now and just say, how do you feel about, should I say an actor or a bearded lady? Bearded lady, I think.

How do you feel about a bearded lady? Yeah. I think she'll go for that. Moving into our house. Do you got room? I'll see what she says. Okay. I think she's going to say yes.

I mean, obviously you say yes. I don't know. She's sometimes a bit strange with strangers. I mean, I've typed that so fast. I've put, how do you, I feel about a bearded lady moving into houses? So, I mean, Furt knows what she's going to make of that as a message. How can you be against that? I think she's going to write back and say, are you having an affair?

Was that meant for someone else? It sounds like a coach for something. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. I can see it now on WhatsApp. She's online. But it's not doing that thing. where it says typing.

She's currently just staring. Oh, typing, here we go. It's quite exciting radio. It makes good radio, doesn't it? Do another plug for your show while we wait for my... Oh yeah, into our house, do you mean, lull? I'll say yes. She's not said no.

I'll say yes. There you go, yes, I've sent that back. So now we're just waiting to see what she feels about that. That is, pote's lovel. Isn't it? We're having a great laugh today, aren't we on the radio? She would have said no straight away, so she hasn't said no. She's still online, but no.

not typing. Look, shall I just let you know? Yeah, okay. But I think it'd be all right. I think we've tried to do it before the new year, really, I suppose. Yeah, I mean, why not? I'm moving tomorrow on the 27th. Wink. Excellent winkage. Thank you. Excellent. She's just saying, why, who are you moving in? But she's doing all text. She doesn't normally do that. She's doing all text speak.

Look, good luck with your show, mate. Ah, thanks for having me on. I think it's going to go well. Are you just an actor or do you do comedy as well? I'm just an actor I'm not to say just That's my fault I didn't mean to say just

Have you been in anything else Have you been in stuff This is proper Christmas conversation Have you been in doctors? Have you been in the bill Have you been in doctors or not Have you been in doctors or not? No

Which either means I'm terrible or too good Too good Yeah let's go with that Have you been on any standards No Have you been on casualty? No. Have you been in peer gint in the theatre?

I haven't been in peer gint either. Mate, you've done nothing. I'm just dressing up as a bearded lady for a living. Look, long may that continue, and I think you're doing very well to do that. Damn mature, is that right? Yeah, that's right. The magnificent bearded lady. All twatting about at the side, it genuinely sounds great.

10 to the 14th of January, 2017, just a few days away for you to get your tickets booked. You can put your tickets at www.witw.wilts.org.com. And also your website, which is how... Havoctheater.com. Are you on the Twitter? Is there anything like that? Yeah, at Havoc Theatre. There we go. Why are you hiding everything behind Havoc Theatre? Well, you know, I can do other stuff then.

Okay. Okay. Tim? Yes. Do you want to hear a song called A-Nus? Yeah. Always. I put it on then, mate. Thanks for joining us. Thank you.

Take care, man. Bye. Bye. Happy now, Connor. Wink. Anus! That was Anus. Jacob, can out of the studio place, mate?

Jacob, get out. Right. We started seeing with some cameras is that Jacob's been putting cameras in my face, so I've decided to lick my finger and put it over the lens of the camera, so it's now all fuzzy and he can't see it. He's having a sort of meltdown. I enjoy it when he does. We're joined now by a guest in the studio.

might you on? I'm on number two. Three, three, your three. So that one can come out. Is that right? That's correct. Yeah, all correct. Just need to be turned up a little bit, please. Oh, yeah. Just the game. Just the game. Green one. The green one to the right. Green to the right. That's better.

It's probably too loud. Too loud. That's, yep. Yep. Thank you. We're joined by a guest in the studio now, which is Adam. Hello. Who is now left. Officially I am a trespasser. Yep, you have left. No, because you're,

are guest. Oh, I'm a guest, okay. You have left Fibar Radio, and now you are a guest on Fibar Radio. What are you saying it out for? Forbar. What is this? What's all that? I think they've been saying it wrong for ages. Fibar.

Yeah, Fibar. What does another presenter call it? Fuba. Fubber. That's wrong. That's wrong. Yeah, that is wrong, isn't it? That'd be with an A. It's how Jacob says Fubber. Jacob says Fubber. Podcast. And he goes podcast. But he calls it Pop noodles. Pot. Pot noodles. He transposes pot and pod.

Let's be honest, he's a prick. So, Adam, you're joining us today as our guest. You've come back specially today on Boxing Day Wink to say goodbye. Yeah. Do you think you might cry? Do you think might cry in this interview or not? Or we'll see how it goes. I'd like you to cry if you could. I think that'd be good. Because at the moment, you're the only person on camera.

Because mine are all smudged. I would try to cry. In fact, do you know what? I actually think one of them that I licked them up my finger over it. I actually think it was a bit of rap. Sorry in my mouth. Stop it. Stop it.

The bits there, Jacob. Stop it. It's a shame. No, no. It's a shame. So, Adam, we should do some, whilst you're looking forward to being in Canada, although you just walked in with a make America great cap on, and honestly, you won't see many of them in Canada.

No. But before you look forward, I thought we could look back Yeah, we can look back And we can look back at our time together Obviously you've got a very different relationship with Nat Yes To the one I've got with her

Which is predominantly sexual I say my mind's predominantly sexual Yeah yeah With nasty, not on a different But in terms of our relationships together Over the years I think Adam You know we've grown fond of each other We've got to know each other and stuff

Have you seen Rogue One by the way I have seen Rogue One Is it too early for spoilers Yeah It's been out two weeks Boxing Day, in it? Boxing Day. Boxing Day, which are you reckon.

We can give, we don't have to give out spoilers, but we can give a review with no spoilers. Let's do that. Oh, I like Westwell, by the way. Because Adam used it. Good, good. I'm in the episode of five. Oh yeah, I watched the season finale. Have you seen the season finale?

Yes. I think you should just watch the first episode in the last episode. Oh, really? I'm only on five. I'm up to five. Anyway. Well, I mean, why not do the same with great expectations? Just read the first and last page. Yeah. Fuck it. I mean, that's what I'd do. Yeah, yes, not a point.

Anyhow, we've got a special again mini episode of spoiler alert, which is Adam's, of course, Adam's failed show. Not failed. Mate, it was shit-cund. If a show is stopped, it's failed. Right? So I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry your show failed. Okay.

But I've told you before, I really liked it. Thank you. And we've also proved before how good it is with the proper presenter. So, spoiler alert. It's time for spoiler alert. And we're going to be a Rogue One special today. Rogue One, if you don't know, is of course, the Star Wars spin-off film, which takes place between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope.

And it is about the rebel spies, essentially, acquiring the plans for the Death Star, which, of course, is the big round moon and a new hope that blows up planets and stuff. Taking notes now. So an untold story. Yes. Although it has been told before in the games, bizarrely. in Dark Forces, I believe it was, it was, it was Kyle Katan.

Okay. I've not played those games. Yeah, years ago, I'm sure that was about acquiring the Death Star Plan. But that's now non-canon. Yes. Ouse in it? It's Chewbacca and people, isn't it? Sorry, I've been joined by fucking Barry Norman now. I mean, I've you got Han Solo, Leia, Chewbacca, the robot ones.

Again, this is going to wander into spoiler territory there, don't you? If there are characters from the past. Say what I found out? And I can say, that. this. Two mates of mine were in it. I didn't know. I didn't know they were in it.

Who did they play? Well, one isn't really a maid, but I know him. And we've worked together a fair bit, and we know each other, which is Simon Farnaby. Oh, yeah. He plays one of the Rebel pilots. I didn't actually even see him in the film. It was a proper quick cut, apparently.

But the other one that I did see, and it actually brought me out of the film because I was like fuck is that Mike Smiley right if I do know played Dr. Everson who's the man from a new hope

who has the fight with Luke in the canteener yeah so that cameo in Rogue One so spoiler alert but we said spoiler a lot already a lot, yeah and he plays that part he plays the one with the pig face yeah yeah and I if you go back on my Twitter timeline

and see the night I saw Rogue Wong because I saw a midnight show in. By the way, there were people sat in front of me on their fucking phones throughout it and I was like, who goes to a midnight showing and doesn't watch it? Were they like live tweeting it? No, they were like, they weren't even watching it.

It really annoyed me. It was like, you get it. Yeah. At normal times, but who goes out of their way to go to a midnight showing? Yeah. Pricks. So that kind of ruined it a bit for me of the film.

But it's not the film's fault. But yeah, I tweeted Mike and said, are you in a film at the cinema at the moment? I am, yeah. And then I kept Googling it and looking. There was no mention of it. It wasn't on IMDB or anything like that. It's in the credits.

I didn't see the credits because I stormed out of the cinema. At the end of the film. And yeah, it appeared that I was the only person to actually bring it up in the universe. We'll say a friend of the station is also in that film as well. Is that? Jordan. Oh, yeah, from Rizzle Kim.

Jordan. Jordan. Jordan. Jordan from Rizzle kicks. Oh, not Jordan, that one that used to do that shit show. No, no, no, no. She was awful, wasn't she? Jordan from the Rizzle kicks.

Okay, and what does she do? He. He is the, you know, towards the end when they're trying to get the relay link up. Yeah. To send out the message. Yeah, yeah. He's the guy that's like has to get the. Jigolet.

Yeah, he's the jiggil it bit. The jiggler. He's the jiggler. He's one of the rebel soldiers. and he's got a couple of lines in it. I thought he helps... I mean, I don't want to spoiler it, because clearly you were wrong, but I said to you, is he in it?

I mean, yeah, he saves it. Yeah, he saves the day, basically. That's good, isn't it? Maybe get a rise. Why? Give him a rise there if he's... Oh, it doesn't work here? What does he do then?

He's a friend. He's been in a few times. Obviously, he's with Harley, who does do a show here on Wednesdays. He's Harley. Cicks. Harley-Sylvester. Sorry, I really's, to break out to the beginning of this. What's Rizzle kicks?

There are a pop, duo slash rap duo who um... They sound great. They are great. They are really good. They're down with the trumpet. Do you know all that?

Down with the trumpet. But very successful song makers and one half does a show here on Wednesday and the other half sometimes pops in. That's nice. Yeah. Nice better than the other Jordan in it.

She was fucking dreadful on the station. So Adam Yeah. Let's hear your review. What you think? I really, really enjoyed it. Did you? Yes. I really did.

I thought it was, you know, you combine all the prequel Star Warses, put them together. Star Warses. Star Warses. Yeah. Doesn't compare to this film. Okay. I thought it was so much better as a prequel film. Yeah.

The cameo CGIs that were in it were a bit... I think we can talk about that now. So I think, so again, spoiler a lot if you're not saying it, just switch it off. It's fine. Peter Cushing's in the film. Yeah. I mean, what is dead? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. There was a clue with what Adam said about CGI. Do you remember? Oh yeah, like the two-pack thing. So they see GIOM. Same with what they did with Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of the Terminator films. It's the uncanny issue, isn't it? So the issue of uncanny, which is that you can replicate something perfectly,

but unless it's the actual thing, it doesn't capture the thing. So even if it's perfect, it still doesn't capture it because it's fake. So I think what they did with that is they could have made it perfect. But I don't think they could. But I think they brought it down to a cartoonish, because it looked quite cartoonish. It was a bit clone wars, you weren't out? And I was like, okay, this, they definitely brought it down in the CGI graphics department. It was my major issue with it.

Was it? Yeah, it was my major issue with it, is that it brought me out of the film every time he was on screen. It was like, oh, but he's not, I know he's dead, and I know that's not him, and I know it's CGI. And it was, and the voice actor was good, though. The voice actor was great, but the animation action actually. if you like wasn't. It's like Peter Cushing was better than that. You can't see G.I. acting.

And that's... And also there might be a slight moral issue with that as well because he's got no control over him doing his acts. Like when you say he saw Audrey Echburn in Adverts and stuff now, it's like they've got no control over that. But Peter Cushing did play that part, so it's not... But there must be something to say that his family must have signed off on it. Yeah, no, I dare say.

But, well, actually, maybe not, because maybe his contract was in perpetuity. So maybe his contract was like live or dead. we've got your image rights and that's covered by CJ's covered by image rights I saw I was there for Peter Cushing's funeral Oh chisnett So I bring that up

It's in Wistible What'd mean you were there? One of the Pookewarmers? And then I said what's going on here? There's a lot of people around and these people said it's Peter Cushing's funeral and it's a little procession and went down the road So it just was there for a moment I liked Peter Cushing

I like Camer horror But you only met him when he was dead That counts I suppose Yeah so I didn't really like that there was also another CGI-ed character in it that I also didn't think worked

I wasn't convinced although apparently both of them were actual people that had been C-G-I'd layered over the top of them They both are dead No the other one is still alive Is it a big celebrity

Or big Hollywood A big actor story That is top secret Yeah I read that in a review What Are we not allowed to spoil that now Is that just the

Princess layer Yeah Oh I thought it was gonna be Who did you think it was gonna be I just thought Jake Juddunhall or someone You thought they just put a CGI Jake Jalenhall Into a Star Wars film

For any reason at all For shits and giggles What I thought Just like an Easter egg I thought there was some like big celebrity cameos in the film There are but to stop the spoilers Adam don't even let the conversation carry it Let's stick with this

What why What like just walking along in space as Donnie Darko in the background What's he doing there? Well not necessarily him But I thought it could be like Ryan Gosling or someone But they You don't need to see GI them not because they're...

Well, Carrie Fisher's not dead, so... But she's not the age she was when she played Princess Leia, and we've already told you the timeline of this film. Put makeup on her. I don't see why you've got seated like someone that's not dead. You think you can put makeup on someone that's now, what, 40 years older than she was then? She looks good.

No one's doubting that, but she doesn't look like she looked then. And makeup won't do that. Well, I'd be a bit annoyed if I was there about being sedated. Did she get paid for that, do you think? I'm going to say she probably did. I'm going to say yes, she got paid for that. I would imagine she's got more saying it than Peter Cushing did. Yeah, that's true, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's a, that's not a contribution. But other that, I thought it was a beautiful film. Okay, yeah, I think I need to see it again, is what I think. Yeah. I'd rather go see that film again, then go watch the Force Awakens again. Okay.

And to, I'll have my hand up. I've only ever seen the Force Awakens once. have you? Yeah, and I only saw that at the cinema I haven't watched, re-watched it. Why, what's wrong? I don't know. I don't like it.

I did like it. It's because there's a black protagonist. No, it's not. There's a lot of that going on today, aren't there? There is. There is a lot. It's on Sky at the minute.

I've Skyplussed it, but I might watch it. I have Skyplust it. I have asked for it for Christmas. Who off? Off of Santa. Off a father of Christmas. But who is Santa in your life at the moment? Is stuff going on?

Don't see. wrong with a little bump and grinder nothing wrong with a little bump and grinder still great's on me that still great for me it's still great appalling I love it everyone's missed that Connor

for the final time Adam Connor yeah Connor Wallace and just for this I'm gonna put the America make America great again again you've got this is the only opportunity to get to wear it because you can't wear that in Canada but no but do buy long grinder in Canada I did okay

yeah yeah that's prime Did you get some bum in? Did you get some bummed up? I leveled up. Okay. Leveled up. Well, come on. It's a bump and grinder for the final time.

So we've got... How many have been? How many have they been? So, okay. 2016. Jesus, well, yeah. Yeah, that's the number 2016. Well done.

I wonder it's fucking moving there. There's no one left here for him. Felt he gets. What's going on here? Jesus. No, it has been... been late for work every day. This year has been an exceptionally dry year for me.

Oh, look some loob. That's be all right. Got a cookie out. I have a bit of dry cookie. I don't have a bit of dry cookie. They're all a bit broke up now. You just called me Jacob? Did, yeah.

Do you know what I said it? Because I can always hear him breathing in my ear. No, it has been an exceptionally dry year. It's been a drought for myself. Well, that's not true. Well, I know. I've got me end away a couple of times. Oh, right. Well, that's what we want to hear about. That's what bump and grinder is.

Let's go. That's it. Me and that are not bump and grinder cookies. So what one should I tell you about first? The guy that said I was too quiet. Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, so I went out with this guy, wasn't for, like, date or anything. It was just literally, come around, let's have sex. Oh.

We'd already had sex before. Oh, goodness. In the past. Wow. And... In the what? In the past. I was sorry.

He was obviously good. You went back for a second. Yeah, he was very good. Second bomb. It was very good. Good or mine. And... Yeah.

And... After the... After the sex stuff happened. I'll get to the sex stuff. Good. Put a CD on. Remember that? Prick keys.

There are prick keys in a way. Yeah, he said that I was too quiet. Mm. What, during the sex? During the sex? Do you're not a big noisy one? No, not really. What sort of noises do you do?

Ooh. Ooh. Yeah. But you're, your top, right? Yeah. So you're like, oh, yeah, not for it. You're not like, ooh, help me.

I'm not like, no. Oh, that's broke. That's not like that. That's what he was saying afterwards. You're probably concentrating if you're top. You want to get it right. Yeah, that's it. You've got, it's a lot of concentration when you're a top.

Yeah. Got to get it in. Yeah, you've got to make sure, you know, you've got the right angles. Oh, let's get the penis into the... Yeah, and the right speed. Right speed, if you do it too fast, you get friction down. When you get it in, I thought about... This beach room had gone for a while, but I always had questions.

I like this, because it's like a little, like we in a cafe or something. I don't know, just talking about it. I like it. I have a... It probably sounds awful. Have you ever not... Do you get it all the way in? Yeah.

it's a good question from that that Is there any been anybody That you haven't been able to like Get it all the way Because why Why every bum's the same is it Well What you implied he's done it with children

No I mean some Some bombs might be tighter Smaller than others Smaller exactly So maybe it doesn't all fit in everybody But all bombs Sorry I don't mean to

I don't mean to answer your question for you But They're all tight Yeah but Like not all vaginas are the same Are they No Some people talk out of there

No, not all of them are tight Some of them are, you know, the opposite Got a bit giving them, like. Yeah, what was it, Jacob called me the other week? He said I was loose, I had a slack ass. Thanks. I've in my life had things in my bottom. Things or fingers?

Both. Okay. But I don't think I could at the moment. Why not? Damn. I think it's so bad ill. A bit sensitive, yeah. I think it'd split me open.

That's what you said as well. That was your cookie. Very nice. All right, so go on. Said you're too quiet? Yeah, said it was too quiet. And he was like, that he thought I didn't enjoy it.

And I was like, no, no, no, I didn't. I really, really enjoyed it. I wouldn't be asking him for sex again this weekend. Should we do a quick practice then? Because you're going to Canada and that. And I think you go to Canada and then do your, whatever is you doing? Yeah.

And somebody else say, you were too quiet. Do you know, quick practice and being a bit noisy? Yeah, but are you, for Canadians? I think you have to change it up a little bit as well. Okay. So you have to go, ooh, eh. Okay. Okay.

Nah, could you be a bloke? Who's with Adam? Okay, yes. You do the noises you would do when you're doing the sex and Adam will do his... That's a bloke. My Canadian. Yeah, you're a Canadian bloke. Get ut.

That's what I would say. Get out. Get out. Oh, sorry. Is this an assault? Ha ha! Oh, I'll have to be get in. Yeah.

I don't have to say... Get in here. I don't have said. E. They just say, eh. I'm ready, Adam. I should be butch... He is quiet, it is quiet.

I'm ready, Adam. Ooh. No, no, mind. Yeah. Are you in? Are you in? Yeah, I mean, sorry. Oh.

They apologise for everything. Sorry, yeah. Don't say sorry, big boy. But you're not Canadian. I know, I'm not. I can't. But you do have to apologise when you're over there. You're not going to kind of go undercover.

But you have to take up their customs. You don't. You don't have to speak like them. I might come back with a Canadian accent. Are you almost certainly well? If you do, I'll think you're at what. Very chatty during sex, Adam. Yeah.

I've just allowed you to have gay sex with me. And you said, sorry, I don't want you to apologise. So now you're being too chatty. What's this thing that she started doing? Well, does this aggression come from in you and the confidence? Obviously, I'm into gay sex. I don't know. I sometimes have a wank over a gay sex, a bit of gay porn sometimes.

So do I. I've seen gay porn the other day. I didn't know that Adam Topper this was standard, that sometimes when you're, well, I guess it, Well, it could have to be for gay men, we said, didn't we? When you're having a bum. A bum sex. A bum sex. You're also masturbating at the same time?

And that didn't think that was possible. Who's masturbating? So just say I'm... And I just say, I'm topping. And then the guy is having a wank while I'm topping. And she didn't think that was possible. And I was like, but... So I've noticed in the...

Like, not that much gay sex, gay porn that I've seen in my life. But in the stuff that I've seen, you can tell me about this. from your experiences doing all the bum in. Invariably, if I've seen anything that involves a gentleman penetrating another gentleman, the penetrates E, to the person who's taking the sausage, is invariably not hard.

Is that a thing? No. I was actually in porn. I think that's just in porn. Okay. Why is that? I think because it might be cold on set. No. Why are you not?

Why is it not affecting the other bloat, though? Because he's got a fluffer. Okay. Because he's got someone paid to toss him off, to keep him rigid. Maybe he's also got a couple of... He's got the talent, isn't he? Do you not get erect if you're enjoying saps? This is the thing.

I think I need to talk to a porn star. Yeah, we were trying to get one on the show. Because I would like to know, like, you know, what actually happens on a porn set, a gay porn set. Well, have a guess. Well, I'm guessing the sex, there's a lot. But I'm guessing, it's not, it's not like sexy in the bedroom.

It's definitely not like sexy in the bedroom. A lot of straight. Actors are very big in gay porn, aren't they? Gay for pay. Who, yeah, that sort of thing, right? Jacob could do gay for pay. Jacob can't do his present job for pay. Didn't you say you had another set for pay? That was just one, yeah? That was just one.

We can have one more. Okay, quick one. this is a dirty one okay yeah lovely good good good okay by dirty I mean disgusting dirty oh yes do you fancy coming over here not not now okay

so one of the later guys that I had sexy time with do you mean like an old man yes oh was it no man yeah okay how old an older man he was like 35

hey fuck off mate hey hey Hey Adam, get a fault, man. Yeah, let's just say after I had finished, you know, having the sex, we had finished having the sexy time that I... Can you, right, just for the, because this is the last... Yeah, I know, but you still... So for this one, balls out, Adam, come.

Okay. We need more... What you need to always do is get after the sexy time. We want to know about the sexy time. I don't want any posseing about this. No, there's no pussy. There's no pussy. Oh, and then we did kissy his head, just fucking just come on.

I want to know about the sex detail. Let's say the sex. Let's say the sex animal of Adam. Let's see what you're like with these other filthy men. Let him roar. And I don't be filthy because they're having an anonymous sex. Possory and bus shelters. So this one was after Pride.

It was a bit drunk. Went on to Grindr. Guy messaged me saying, do you want to come over and have sex? I was like, yes. Is that what he said? Yeah. Do you want to come over and have sex? Well, after a little bit of back and forth, hi, hey.

These are the bits we want to hear about. So he was like, hey, how are you doing? I was like, yeah, not too bad. What you've been up to? who's like not much. He's like what you're up to. I said, I've just come back from pride a bit drunk.

He's like, oh, wicked. Do you want to come over? And I was like, yeah, okay. Send me your location. So he sent me his location. He didn't say sex at this point, though. So it could have been for a just tango or something.

Yeah, maybe. Well, when you're on these sites, you kind of just know what you're after. It's true now. I think there's possibly easier ways of going over someone's house for a tango than subscribing to Grindrinder. It'd be awful, wouldn't it?

If you go, I don't get any dates, why not? Because I always put PS if you got any tango. Okay, so it was for sex. I mean, tango was an odd thing to bring up there, wasn't it? I don't know. I might make the dance, I don't know. So I ordered an Uber. My first Uber that I'd ever ordered. Yes.

Because I was drunk to his house, knocked on his door, and he opened the door. And it was dark. It was really dark. And I was thinking, oh, my God, I'm going to get murdered in here. But he opened the door. and he was butt naked right

when he opened the door so did the Uber driver say that no the Uber driver dropped me off at the end of the road so I need to walk down That's even worse I know

I know but he picked me up But then he picked me up an hour later Yeah And And off the floor So go on

The man's like What does he look like? So he was I say He was bigger than me Yeah taller than me pretty much everybody is.

I don't remember he was 35 years old. Yeah, yeah. So in the Zimmer frame. Did he put his teeth into me? No, I asked him to take him out because he just made it easy for the blow jobs. Hairy? He had not as hairy a chest as I do.

Okay. But he still had quite a bit of check. Yeah. Yeah, just like the little bit down the center of Danny's cleavage. Yeah, yeah. I've got a bit cleavage that's nice. Probably get a cock between it. Yeah.

Do you have a foreskin? Oh. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Good question. Good question. Keeps it going, doesn't it? So he got upstairs to the bedroom. Yeah. He was already naked. No, well, you just followed him single file? Yeah, pretty much. He was like, he led me to the bedroom, like,

help my hand, let me to the bedroom. Do you not say, do you need the toilet or a drink or something? No. Still thinking about the tango. And then started the kissing, started to cuddling. Then I got naked. Sucked my willie. Sucks your willy? See, again, you're not doing it. you're saying it sucks my willie

okay he gave me a blow job and then say it like he got say how you say it when you were there like what did he do what did he no come on he okay he got on his knees and he undid my I don't believe that when you arrive at these locations you go oh would you mind sucking my willie

no please I mean so that's the bit look we're fucking not going to see each other ever again after today we're not we're not I do but better not I always say to people leave better fucking not see him back here I mean that you better go make a success of yourself right so so

come on for the last time madam he undid my jeans yeah ripped him open yeah I think I lost the button whoa and started

sucking my dick yeah I'm all right I'll accept dick okay it's all right then he got on the bed and I took all my clothes off

and then I lay down and then I pushed his head down back on time you pushed it aggressive was that consensual but aggressive yeah what do you mean was it consensual

He'd already led him upstairs and got him a tango. No, I said it was consensual, but aggressive. I didn't see you as that type to push a head down. Top, in he? Top, in he? Well, he was bottomed then, wouldn't he? It's disgusting, isn't it? And then he got a pair of handcuffs out.

Oh, well, good heavens! Yes! I mean, I didn't know what to do with them, and because he's bed... Have a fucking guess. I know, but he didn't have a headboard. He don't put him on as it earrings, do you? No, but he didn't like have a headboard or anything,

So it was just like, well, what am I going to chain you to? So I just cuffed him to himself. And then I was just like, well, if it was meant, I had to chain him to his own radiator and then fucking fleeced his house. It took his PlayStation. Did you not want to be cuffed up? No. It's a top.

Well, you can still be in handcuffs and do anal sex, can you? What's the difference? Yeah, but top's also an attitude as well. It's not just a... It's the sub. Dom, it's the Dom. Yeah, so he wanted me to be more dope. He also had a rope and asked me to tie him up,

and I was like, I don't know knots. Yeah. I mean, I didn't really get that far in Boy Scouts. They didn't really tell me. This is where it will start falling off of me. Yeah, yeah. As you say, I don't know how to do a knot. And then, so then, like, he then got on the bed on all fours.

Yeah. And I went behind him. I put my penis in his... No! I can't put my dick in his bum. Okay. Not bum, bomb wrong. Right, that's better.

Do you have to always put lube on? Yeah, of course you do. So you always have loose on. Do you carry it on you? Yes, I do. The way you said that then was like a Tory minister meeting their first gay person. I don't know, sometimes.

You have to put a new one. Flavoured loop, I'd say? No. No, it's just standard. Not necessarily in the ass, not. Nah, it doesn't really. Don't we have taste buds in your ass, do you? No, but.

Oh, you do? The thing's popular. I beg you pardon? That's where you got taste buds in your bottom. No, you have. How? What? I guarantee we need to, right.

Jacob's Googling. Jacob's Googling. What? What's happening now is Adam's coming for the last time speaking all manner of bollocks because he knows that next week when we say that's but he's gone He's not even here Taste buds are in your bum

There are taste buds in your buttes. There are taste buds in your buttes You can't taste through your ass. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere that you have taste buds in your asshole You know when you have a spicy curry Shut up Tell me it's true in my ear Thank you Jacob

You don't taste it No you don't but you can There's not taste but then is it? There are nerves in your ass and nerve endings. But when you go for a shit, Adam, you can't taste shit. Yeah, but when you have a spicy curry, you can... Testicles do. That can detect sweet flavours, but you don't taste it.

And spicy flavours. This is bollocks. This is gay propaganda. It's gay propaganda. It's the gay agenda. It can taste soy sauce, apparently. It's the amino acid and soy sauce. Can I also point out where that link's from?

Oh, Daily Mail. Yeah, let's foot that off of that, shall we? Science stuff. Science stuff. dump. The famous signs dump. The famous signs dump. Reddit. Reddit? Oh, another hugely credible source. Wikipedia.

Again, again. It's bollocks, mate. Now this guy, as we were discussing before, was not tight. He was a little bit loose. A bit echoey. Yeah. Yeah. I could shout down it and I got it back.

Was it good? No, it was good. It was good sex. Do you know what? I can't remember his name. Good. Which was good. And then, but this was the disgusting bit that I forewarned you at the beginning. It's going to pull out fast. I know. I obviously finished. Yeah.

And as I was... This isn't how we're saying it. I come. Let him do it. After I come, I was like gently pulling out because I didn't want to like, you know, if I pull it out too fast, it can hurt. Yeah. So... Not you, but...

No, I hate him. So as I was gently pulling out. I had a Mr. Whippy. I'm not entirely sure. It's something to do, well, you've just come, so it can't be, I'm thinking semen if it's whippe because it's right. No, it was a chocolate Mr. Whippy then, with hazelnuts. You did, or he did?

Well, it was on the end of my willy, my dick. I'm glad Jacob's father of this, so musing with the other room. So what you're saying is that you had, poo on your penis. But did you have a condom on? I had a condom on, yeah. So it was on the condo? Yeah, so it wasn't, okay, it wasn't technically on my, not that big deal, is it? No, but it was disgusting.

And, you know, when you, like, you start going flaccid, and it just starts to droop off the end. And you're just thinking, oh, God, I've got to get this off. And there's, like, no tissues. And he had, like, left the toilet roll off the other side of the bedroom, and I'm trying to reach for it. But I'm trying not to get the condom to touch the side of my leg. And you almost don't want to wipe it on the tissue

because it becomes more prevalent against the white background, doesn't it? Yeah. We don't touch it? No, and that's the thing. I'm not trying to touch it. I'm trying to get it off. Because he was not helping at all. Because I would be if I shit on the stomach's dick, wouldn't you?

because he was... Wouldn't you? I'd definitely work. I imagine he wasn't really aware of it. No, no, because he had his back to me. And I'd imagine that... I'd be telling him to look round the front. No, I would imagine a gentleman that Adam is.

He wouldn't want to embarrass the gentleman by saying, oh, look at that, what you've done. Dirty boy. Yeah, but it'd spell it, wouldn't you? Again, I think if you're going to be fucking someone in the ass, then that's sort of a collateral damage risk all the time, isn't it? Yeah, but the thing is, though, it's like, you'd doche before. I don't know you doche

You doche before What do you mean? Well you get like these little squirter things It's like one of these little water bottles Yeah like a turkey bastel And then you stick it on your bum And then you give it a couple of squeezes of warm water Right

And then you flushes your bottom out So you're all nice and clean for when a gentleman enters your rectum Oh It's a good idea It is a good idea And it's common practice In the gay sex community But this guy didn't obviously get the memo

Don't see nothing wrong We've a little bump and grander Sponsored by 99 And that's why we stopped doing that No, that we've never We've never had a dirty one before That's why we stopped doing that section I like whippies

You've made it ruin whippies for me now Any less words, Adam? I love you, Ian I love you now Cheers man, that's a nice thing to say That is a lovely thing to say What do we say I love you too Adam

We do love Adam Yeah, it's a nice lad You know, it's, um, it's been, I mean, I was going to say we've missed you on the show. But I'm not even sure that's a compliment, because we'd have missed the cleaner, given what we've ended up with. Do you know what I mean? It's not like, that should be tacit. I know. I have been, I've been toiling around in the background.

Big pun. I've been toiling, helping, helping out on the show where I can. Yeah, yeah. Trying to book some guests like I book The Vampire Hunter. Yeah, that was a tremendous successful Miles Hunt. I don't know. Mom's because of. Too fantastic.

Yeah, yeah. Where both of them came on and we were all confused. Yeah, yeah. Well, we appreciate your work, man. Yeah. And have you got a present? Has he got a present? He will have a present, yeah.

Okay, you're getting a present. Thank you. Sign his card, maybe. Yeah. I can't sign it. I can't sign it. I won't be here. Should I sign something else?

Yeah. Can you stick it to his card? He could sign it. We can get it. Is the card here? Yeah, it's in the building. I know that. It's in Julia's office.

Just text Julie. Jacob actually looks. cross that there's a card. He looked fucking livid then. Go get Adam's card. So I can sign it. Nobody can lip read here. He doesn't. Because it's locked. It's probably locked in. Just text Julia.

But isn't Duncan in his office? No, he's left. Oh, he's gone. Kick the door in. Just go and kick the door in. Just say it was an emergency. Security guard. When he comes around, he's got me. You smell gas. Pass you your pen, that. Adam.

Adam, yeah. That's it. There we go, so I'll do a massive one. I'm going to buy you a whip. P as I leave him. Adam. Do not come back.

We can come back for a visit. Come back for a visit. Will's come back, you know? I want, except what? To work here? No, for visit. No, for visits. Popped in.

Except for... Thank you for the cookies. The cookies are really nice. Really good, do you know what? My writing's terrible, man. That's why I'm reading it out, because I've been signing, I've done loads of signatures. Like, I've done merch for the mental podcast.

I've got to sign it all and write messages in that. Yeah. And as it goes on, you just write... It's just squiggles. Yeah. So, it's just... I'm not there with lists.

Like, I was doing my Christmas list, and it was just good towards the end. It was just like squiggle. Thank you sincerely. I do mean that. Aw. Lots of love. Brackets, not like that.

And we're going to, here's what we're going to do. So there's, I'll sign my full name. That's all right. That's okay. That's again, that's force of habit from doing these fucking cards.

And you know, I'm also going to do as well. Yeah. And this is the last time I will ever do this, ever, right? Yeah. Just for you. Because of how we've known each other over the years, I'm doing my final Ray Peacock signature.

Oh, that's lovely. And I swear I will never sign that again. Oh, right, great. Come on May. They're going to rip it now. I destroy it. So you can't have it yet because he's got a good card. Okay.

Okay, it's not for you, yeah. Not for you yet, but you'll get it. Well, mesh you, man. Oh, am I using a fucking Comedy Central pen? Give it to me. Can't believe you trip me into that It's a nice and it's a pleasure man Thank you very much

It's been really a pleasure We could get on and do an update Excuse me We are saying goodbye No but he doesn't have to go And you don't need to talk Right here we go It's genuinely a bit of pleasure

And you should be missed terribly By which I mean we won't be very good at missing you We'll miss bump and grinder If anything dramatic happens Could you email us and let us know and making do updates on what Adam's been getting up to with his dirty stuff. Also, career-wise, we'd like to hear about what you're doing. I'm sure it shall be successful.

And you will always be better than that. Right, that thing sat over there. Right? I can never fully appreciate it anymore, Adam, because it's sort of your fault that I deal with fucking that. Over there. I'm sorry. Alright

Anyway What do you want to hear? Oh, what's brought me options? Do you know, I'm actually thinking about like sort of Even though I don't think I was even here Just how much more hope there was last Christmas When Adam was still going to be around

Yeah It's sad that he's gone I'm sad Take care of him Bye, bye mate Welcome back That was one last Christmas Like of course last Christmas

that was yesterday, of course, remember, Wink. No, it's Boxing Day, so it's still Christmas. I just said last Christmas was yesterday, wink. It was, last Christmas was yesterday. Wink. Wink. We've said goodbye to Adam, but he's still here. It just occurred to us that if he didn't stay, Jacob could come in.

Yeah, any moment. So we've stopped that happening. He's livid, by the way. He can be as livid as well. Well, go and complain to your boss, Captain Hook. He does it like Smey. He's absolutely just a Sme today. But also, Adam,

Actually, let's just get Mark on the phone festival. Mark, you there? Yeah, I am. Hello, mate. How are you? I'm good, chap. How are you? I'm all right, you're not too bad. This is Mark J. Is it Hiblin? Yes.

Okay? And you're an artist? I am. Pop culture inspired, horror and pop culture. Absolutely. I should have been looking at some of your stuff. It's ice. Oh, thank you, chap. I like it a lot. It's right up my street, mate.

Awesome. Love all that sort of stuff. I've got another mate who does art, pop culture. called, do you know James Hans? I don't. Have look at James Hans' work. You'd love it. You'd love his work and he would love yours.

Excellent. I shall get in touch with him. Birds of a feather, mate. What I'm going to do, we have a little... I'm still staying, by the way. I'm going to still be involved in this one because I've learnt the hard way not to let somebody else do an interview

without my involvement because we let our office temp do some interviews last week and it was Car Crash Radio at its time. worst because we didn't get involved at all. But what I've decided is we've got our friend Adam who has

worked here for quite a while since the beginning of football really. Yeah. Has technically left now. He's left the he's gone to live in Canada but he's here in the studio with us as our guest. He used to host a show on here called Spoiler Alert which was about

pop culture stuff like Star Wars and Marvel and all that sort of thing. So I'm going to co-interview with Adam if that's all right. Awesome. Yeah. no, go for it. Okay, cool. Adam John will lead? No, you go first.

Have you not the other question? No. Oh, I see, okay. Is he's honest? I'm not the other one. So, here's the thing. I think there's, how old are you are, Mark? Me, I'm, I'm 45.

Okay, so that's about right. Yeah, I would probably be about that in the way I think about things, but I'm actually only 20, I'm actually 19 years old. Oh, yeah, I'm probably 12, if you're going to go by. I think I'm about four. So generationally, you know, we're the same. And it's that... Yeah, sure, yeah.

Isn't it quite a cool thing? You see it now with the Star Wars movies and stuff, and you see people of our age that are now working on those movies, and younger, I guess, as well. And isn't it... I think this must be quite a unique thing in popular culture of all time that people... I was...

Yeah, I was talking to a friend about it the other day, actually. Yeah, it's biggest... I mean, everybody who's working on stuff now, loved the stuff when they were kids. Yeah, and it's still going. That stuff's still going in different forms. Yeah, absolutely. And isn't that ace? Because if you remember back to those times where I'm sure that many of us were told at some point that this won't help,

like if you mentally don't work and you parents walking and you play with Star Wars figures like, how's this going to help you get a job or whatever? And now it's like it absolutely has fed back into a creative. Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember going to a career advisor in the 80s when I was at school. and I actually wanted to be kind of like an artist then, you know, or do something to do without horror or something at the time. And I can remember sort of, he said, what do you want to do? And I told him, and he just looked at me like as if I said, I want to be, you know, an astronaut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, with my grades, that weren't going to happen. But, you know, and it was, yeah. But now. You could have drawn yourself as well. So you could have still been one. I've taken that in and giving it to him. So there you go, that's just picturing me as an astronaut.

But yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean. But they were probably right, that's the thing, because there was no, like I was saying, this is probably generationally the first time this has actually happened, is that they were right to say this won't help because there was no precedent for that. But now, as it turns out, we sort of took the ball and ran with it, and now that sort of stuff feeds back into the work that, you know, many of us do now. I mean, not so much of me, I don't think, but I think my popular culture knowledge certainly has never hindered me as a performer or a broadcaster, whatever.

but, you know, it's always been something that I'll always try and, I'll try and get every conversation about Star Wars ever again, or Rugby League, or Muppets. Yeah, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's, I think it's become the new norm, though. That's the, that's the interesting thing about the Star Wars thing. Yeah. You know, you get a group of guys, group of lads go out on like a Saturday night now, having a bit, and they're talking about, you know, Rogue One. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's quite, it's quite unusual. It's almost like coming out of the closet in the kind of, you know, in the sci-fi sort of pop culture genre. Yeah. Have you ever heard of a Mr. Whippy? No, only the ice cream. Not that, nothing. Yeah, just move off.

It's not that. So how long have you been actually, like, drawing for, Mark? Me, I was, God, since I was probably about three, you know, something I've always really loved doing. And I used to, my mum and dad used to send away for those, like, Reader's Digest, books and I've still got some line around and if you look in the like the little blank pages I've drawn really bad robots. Really?

Yeah, in those pages. I've always been, I've always been drawing. I used to love it, yeah. Is it? Past the scene, that kind of sort of. Is it something that we, did you think as a kid it could be a career or did you, did that even cross your mind that you could make a living from that? Because obviously comic books existed.

So comic books were a thing. Yeah. I think because we haven't got the, you know, then we didn't have the internet and we weren't as allegedly knowledgeable then. You know, I mean, I got... It was all fields then. Absolutely. Jumpers for Gold Post kind of thing. I mean, I got my, I got my dad brought me in the comic books, you know, and I'll get them, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't really associate the fact that there was a guy actually sat down and drawn them. There was something quite magical about them.

Okay. You know, and you went to see films in the cinema. I mean, I went to see, my mom certainly used to like the Incredible Hulk the movie, but it was the TV series, but it was in the cinema, which bit odd. and I coincident watching it was like amazing and I didn't really think about somebody directed this somebody produced it

you know that kind of stuff I see in that I did see I did I genuinely did I used to learn like all the cast and crew and that was Star Wars

I was always I was always very interested in behind the scenes stuff so I used to like like the making of Star Wars and the making of Empire Strikes back which wasn't even call that it was called something different

and then there was from Star Wars to Jedi making of a saga and that sort of thing. Like those sorts of shows, I probably enjoyed as much as the movies. I was obsessed with behind the same stuff. Yeah, if I could get hold of it or see it, I would. Yeah, no, absolutely.

You can get it easy. Absolutely. I mean, a friend of mine recently got a, got hold of a documentary about Jules. Okay, yeah. What was it called? Was it returned to, what's that one called? The Sharks not work, all the sharks still work.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's on the Blu-ray as well. Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. You know, I just absorb all that stuff now. But, yeah, when I was a kid, there was a bit more magic to it, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not really asking it.

I mean, I never, I never thought I'd ever have a career out of it. I suppose you probably still don't. Yeah, no, it was, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at your stuff. I'm saying the Kenny Baker one's gorgeous. It's a lovely picture of R2D2 without his, well, his dome's been taken off and is on the floor. with a rose at the side from when Kenny was away. And it's weird for me that picture now

because I'm building a full-size Artegedita at the moment. Wow. Yeah, it's quite a... It's a stupid project. Sounds quite good. No, it is, but it's... Honestly, that's not even talk about it. But when I see that picture,

I just see what's in my garage at the moment. It's like, I've got to fix that fucking thing. But... Did you know, Kenny? Did you meet Kenny? No, well, I don't know I might have You definitely know

You would I promise you With all due respects Mr Baker You would definitely have remembered If you'd met him I probably would I went to

I went to a little convention I think he was there This was where I live At my hometown in Norwich And yeah I think he might have been there But I was Too many people

Milling around I think But no no I could have to say I never met I mean obviously I grew up with him He was like one of those Like heroes of mine

Yeah Yeah yeah yeah He was R2D, he was like in all the Star Wars stuff. Yeah, and time bandits and stuff. Yeah. He was a funny little fucker. Like, genuinely he was. He was.

He was very funny. Yeah, I have heard people saying that, yeah. He was. He was like, I interviewed him years and years ago on another radio station, and I met him a couple of times at conventions and stuff. And I met him once at Preston Railway Station. That was the first time I ever met him. I just saw him and I went, oh my God, it's Kenny Baker.

And he lived in Preston, or he lived in that sort of area. I think we lived them actually, he lived. And I went and got his autograph off him then. And he actually dribbled. I've told the story before, but he dribbled on the autograph when he was signing it. A bit of dribble came out of his mouth. And it's not as funny anymore because he has now died. But I used to say, I'm going to clone him.

I was going to say, you've got materials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could clone one and then put it inside your R2DT. I suppose that's a bit wrong. Do you know what, mate? I could just say he's in there. Because I'm intending to just seal it all up once. it's finished. But that's a gorgeous

is it a painting or is it a sketch? What is that? The thing you did it was a sketch. Well, I did one a lot, a long time ago. I mean, I got up one Saturday morning, Sunday morning, and Wes Cravenor died. Yeah, heartbroken, won't it? Yeah, another sort of great sort of thing. You know, and you kind of think, wow, you know,

you haven't really, you just love his films. So I did a little cartoon, you know, that was quite similar to that. What was it? What was on it? It was sort of the same thing. It was like a very kind of quite cute little Freddy Kruger, if you like, sort of slumped down. I'm really sorry if we sound distracted at the moment, by the way,

it's just that our producer, that now our producer, now seems to think that this is a practical joke. She's looking around and has he, has he died, has he died? And she's quite horrified, and she's now Googling if he has died or not. Oh, God, he only died last year, August the 30th last year. I didn't know that. I'm really sad. Oh, yeah, really sad. Clearly a big fan. That I am. But the man's been dead for over year. You didn't even know.

Yeah, clearly a big fan. I didn't know. I didn't know. How old was it? Wasn't that old. Well, let's not... We're interviewing Mark the moment. Sorry, sorry. He was in his 80s.

I think he was in his 80s. Yeah. 76. 76, he was... It was rather brilliant, wasn't he? Wes Coven. Rosecrack, were yeah, absolutely awesome. Yeah.

But I did the little cartoon and then people seemed to really like it and sort of... It was just, you know, I just stuck it on my page as a sketch on Facebook. And then, and then... I went in Kennedy Baker at it.

I thought I'd do the same thing. Yeah. It's lovely. It's really lovely. Oh, thank you, yeah. Yeah. So, has horror, like, any other horror directors that you are? Hoping to die. No.

Yeah, like, you want to immortalise. Immortalise in, like, drawings. But the question by saying that, you are saying. That's tempting fate. Yeah, it really is. He is saying, you ever think, David Cronenberg, think he's going to die? No, no, because if I say somebody and, like, they die over Christmas,

That would never happen, surely. They don't have to be dead, though, surely. I mean, who... Do you know what? We've got a bad history for that on this show. Because every other show of this show is pre-recorded, so this is one of them that's pre-recorded, and I have an eerily bad history

for accidentally predicting deaths on this show. Yeah. That by the time it goes out... Probably bad not to tend to. Ronnie Corbett. Ronnie Corbett. I did that. Ronnie Corbett. Put it to Corbett.

I sort of, not to say predict, but... Well, I did a bit where I said I was going to do a eulogy for people in case they die in between and Ronnie Corbott was one of them and he did die in between. We said others. We said Katie Hopkins. We said other people and they're still... Yeah, there was a degree of wishful thinking to it as well. I agree with that. But Adam,

could they not be alive directors? They can be alive directors. So any other horror directors do you want to... No, that's what he's saying? He's saying that if he says... Oh, he's... Who are your favourite... What is your favourite horror films? That's what I want to know. Oh, that's... a good one. Um, the thing.

Oh, John Carpenter. Yeah. Yeah. Now I'm actually John Carpenter does. Oh, God. Don't, don't say it. No, I love the thing. The thing was like, because my mum used to love it when I was, when I was younger, just absolutely, which my mum's really into horror films and stuff. Yeah, no, the thing has to be up there with my,

you know, like, like number one almost, I think. Um, I consider the first alien a horror film. Yeah. I think, I think they all are. I'd say they're all horror films, really, aren't Yeah. And then I'm a big fan of Universal Monsters, like Frankenstein, dragged a massive. Dragon, that did you say?

Did you say vampires? Sorry. Yeah, yeah, dragged it. I mean, hammer horror. Nostvaratu is quite good, isn't it? Not 1920, yeah, 1920. Yeah, that's not Hammer or University. I'm saying as well as Nostvarati is also a good film.

But Hammer Horror is great, yeah? Yeah, and so that, yeah, that whole kind of thing. I mean, recently, the Babadook was a fantastic horror. Yeah, that is good. Yeah, I agree with you. I agree with her. I've got a bit of a history with the Babadook. No, genuinely, did you know that the Babadook?

I don't even say this on it. No, well, I'll tell you. I'll say it, but we might have to cut this out because it is sort of an industry secret. Did you know that the Babadook is actually based on a real book called the Baddarduk? And it was, there was, only like 40 coppers of it ever made.

and it's considered a cursed book and there's now only one left that hasn't been destroyed in existence and the rumour is that that book is owned by one of the filmmakers of the Babadook and that it's actually based on a true story apparently. Why is this a secret?

Because Google it, see if you can find anything. Oh, that film's scary. Baddarduk. That's the weird thing about it. If you Google the baddardook. Yeah, Google Baddarduk, and you'll see, it's really bizarre because everything's been taken off the internet. Yeah, Babadook, but I'm saying badderduke. Yeah. You said badadook, like baddarduk.

Badderduke. Yeah, not Babadook. Badder Duke. Go on the Wikipedia for Babadook. I can't find anything. Sometimes, every now again, you'll catch it on there. You'll see it, and then you look the next day and it's been removed. But you sure you don't believe in a curse book? Surely? No, I don't believe that the book's cursed,

but I do believe that there is a conspiracy around it. I do believe that there's a... Okay. Because I've seen... It sounds like a creepy pastor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've now seen... I've now seen too much evidence online

of things being up and then removed. That sounds like a good plot for a horror film, actually, a cursed... It is a bad film, anyway. Yeah? Yeah, that's true. I agree. I agree. I've got a friend called Barry, who doesn't think it's good.

He thinks it's rubbish, and he likes horror films. Same. Did you tell Barry about the story about the real bugs? I have told him about that. He lost his shit completely. I don't tell him like that. Well, he didn't believe it? No, he freaked him out completely.

Oh, it would, yeah. Really freaks him out. He absolutely believes in it, in the Baddadoot thing. There we go. So what does the future hold for you, man? I don't know. Well, I'm trying to get my art as sort of as much off the ground as I can at the minute. Okay.

Do you make a living from you? art? No. Not really, not the moment. I'm still sort of, I mean, I used to, I used to be a teacher for adults for learning disabilities about 16 years. And I sort of quit that to sort of do art about a year or so ago. Yeah. A couple of years and sort of try, and I've sort of been promoted, I've always done art, but it's always been in the background, but now I'm sort of promoting it as much as I can. Okay. And I'm kind of using like, you know, like Instagram, Facebook, kind of thing to get a wider audience of it really so

well that's well then that's this and here's the moment where you promote it yeah so if anybody wants like my my page that would be awesome what do you see what your pages how do we find you

how do you find me it's well it's Facebook NJ Hiblin art yeah just type that straight into Facebook and you should get there great and yeah give it a look do you have a website at all

I don't actually I'm not as yet I've kind of found it's a sort of best just to focus on social networking at the moment okay sorry enough that seems to get the sort of people in really

so on Twitter yeah I am on Twitter I don't use it as much I don't post as much artwork or anything on there really so yeah Facebook seems to be the or the Facebook pages thing seems to be the main

way that people sort because I do get quite a bit of fans sort of mail from people who like my art and that's I probably get most of it on there and Adam's got a stand up for the question it's going to be Adam's final question on Fuba final question so have there been any characters

from pop culture that you enjoy drawing the most oh I'm a big Batman fan you probably tell that if you look like that I absolutely love the Batman in the press release I can't remember I can't find it now but it's just big it's got a bit of blood dribbin one resource

where he's got a bit of blood dribbled from his mouth. That's the broke, yeah, that's broken one, yeah. That could be out of a frangelo-a-bock, couldn't that? Yeah, that is awesome. As soon as I was, well, I was flicking through it, I'm thinking that was amazing.

Really good. No, I'll send you a print if you wanted that. I've got a bunch of money. But I'm not, bear a mind. You could send it on. You're not leaving the country until January, so you're fine. Yes, okay. If we get your details off of you,

that will be great. Yeah. Thank you. Charge him, though. Make sure you charge him for it. Yes, yeah. Do you charge him. It's not, you know. But yeah, no, no, um, Batman.

You know, Mr. Whippey? What is the Mr. Whippey thing? It's not. Don't, don't, don't go down that avenue. It's something that happens during, um, are we found out today? Is it like a babadook? No, well, you know, not dissimilar. It's to do with anal sex.

It often appears when you don't want it to. Oh, it's to do with anal sex. Right, I see. Jane. Oh, that was, that was good. Nat, the way you did a little subtle clue there. It's to do with anal sex. It is, I feel.

Oh, okay. Like he's going to go, oh, oh, I want, wonder what that means. Well, I wouldn't have wets it out. Oh, I would have done, probably. We know you're really sheltered and stuff. But look, Mark, thanks ever so much for joining us, man.

Honestly, it's really good stuff, and it looks, you know. So keep that, keep that, man. Because it's, you've clearly got some of it there. And keep in touch on, how you're getting on that. Get a website. Yeah. I will. Awesome. Just make sure you get a website.

I don't want to talk to you until you've got a website. All right, then, thanks guys. All right. Take care, mate. All right, you too. You have a good Christmas. We've had one. We had one yesterday. Oh, you've had one.

Yeah, thanks a Christmas. It's boxing day, wink. Yeah, brilliant. Cheers, man. All right, thanks guys. Bye. Bye. Tell you what, best conversation in the show,

you've just not heard. Yeah. Me and Nat were talking about anal sex. Jacob. In the studio, you prick. Oh, he's looking like that. Get it, Smee. Yeah, come on Smey.

Smee, on deck. On deck, Smey. Report for duty's me Do you watch Peter Pan yesterday Is that why? He's on your three I've got him up Yeah, sir

He's off mic, he's just he speaks too deep For the human ear He's a bit monotone, aren't you? So Jacob, we're not heard from you for two shows I know, but Hello, yeah I'm here I am Not sure, that's the traditional way of being

on a radio station, just walk in and take the guard off the mic and then just start talking. I'm telling you now he's got a fucking gun. I'm telling you. I can see now he's got either a gun or a knife. He's got something on him now that could cause harm to other people. What a day to go out, boxing day.

Yeah, boxing a wink. So Jacob, we've got approximately three minutes. Yes. Go. What would you like to say? I don't care. Okay, I would like to say hello to all my fans. I appreciate your support.

I can't have that. I think I have to stop that. Hello to all my fans. Thanks for your support. Who's supporting you? Name them. Name your fans. Mom, dad. Yeah.

Yeah, I think next year's going to be a sick year. Yeah. Why do you think that? I think it's just going to be great again. Again. Well, you have been parading around today, haven't you, giving some quite outspoken political opinions I've heard? I mean, I see a lot of things.

Your man, Trump's coming in soon, to office. You said today that you would have voted for him and he's going to do great things for America. Why would you have voted for Trump? I think he's got the appeal. The appeal of what? Just a person that I would want to be friends with. What?

I just like people that are different from me. I'm calm. That's everybody. Yeah. Well, that's true. That's everybody that ever drew breath on the planet. It's different to you. Well, I'm a positive angel and I need some devil

around me. I see. I can't know what I've started to suspect. I'm very, very tired and I've got literally two minutes before. I'm fucking done for the year. I've started to suspect that Jacob doesn't speak English at all. No. And that before he leaves, like the night before,

so last night, he's learnt all these phrases. And then he just comes in and he doesn't know what we're saying. Okay. So he just says, he repeats what he's learned. the night before. He's got one of those tapes on that's being taught, repeated over and over and over. That's why we're never jelling with him

and we're never, because he's not, he doesn't know what we're saying. No. Okay. And then he just waits for the word, for say, Jacob. And then he says something else. Mumbles on about Trump, yeah, man of the people.

Is that right, Jacob? Hello. Do you really support Trump? Is that your thing? No, I mean, I just, I support a lot of things. Yeah, you just say things for a fact, don't you? Yeah. So you don't support Trump?

I can't deny that, but... You can't deny it, okay, you don't. You can't deny that you don't. Or that you do? No, I can't deny that I do support him. Why then? You've got 40 seconds to explain yourself. I don't know, I think he's better than Hillary.

That doesn't mean anything. No, no, but I mean, look at me. Listen to me. I'm a mess. I need help. Perfect end. Absolutely perfect end. It's good.

Thanks for joining us. We'll see you again in 2017. Thank you to everyone who's been on the show. today, apart from Jacob. Farewell to Adam. Good luck to your mate. Thanks to our guest. Yeah.

Which was Mark. Mark and Tim. I was going to say Jim, but it was Tim, one. It's Tim, Tim. Yeah. Great fun. And, you know, going over a nice time, enjoy yourselves. Don't ignore the homeless over Christmas. It's very important.

Sarah and maybe Mouse. There's going to be a best of Sarah in the mouse up next Yep, they're not even here Just got a best off And we're going now I've finished for Christmas Even though it's boxing day, wink Bye, night

Bye, happy new year I never did feel your tits Oh, 2017, it's all about feeling the tits Look forward to it And punching them as well The tit next to me called Jacob Yeah, yeah, yeah Oh, there's Adam

Oh, bye Adam Oh, Adam, bye, man I don't even want to say it If you enjoyed this podcast Please don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes