Back Row and Chill with Jahannah James and Noel Clarke - Stay Home Special Series - Episode 8 - Tom Meeten, Dhiraj Mahey, Gareth Tunley, Gabe Klinger

Episode Date: October 17, 2016

Noel and Jahannah were joined by Gabe Klinger, Director of ‘Porto’, Tom Meeten, Dhiraj Mahey, and Gareth Tunley from ‘The Ghoul’ whose films were premiered at the BFI London Film Festival.

This is a Fubar Radio podcast. Go to Fubaradio.com for more details. Back row and chill with Johanna James and Noel Clark on Fubar Radio. Boom, just hit four o'clock. That was perfect timing. It was. The king is back again. The king and queen of film?

No, is that too much? Too much. All right. No too much. I'm just a poor po. Okay, welcome, everybody. It's Friday again. The week seems to sort of just zip by.

They do. I'm getting old, man. And yeah, it's like, what? I'm back here again. Okay, great. But we've got a really fantastic show for you guys today. It's a great show. We've got the director of the new film, Porto.

Porto. And then we've got the lead actor Tom Meeton from the new film, The Gould, and the executive producer and the director of the same film coming in. We've got so much entertainment news. So much has happened this week. Yeah, Johanna's got more terrible music, but I will save you. I will save you. I will save you.

I got good music. I've been really into it. I've been checking out like soundtracks. You know what? Next week, I'm going to come with some tunes, man. Okay, fine. Fine. We'll have a tune-off. We'll have to see.

People can vote who's got the better songs. But listening to the Nerve soundtrack from the film, The Nerve. You've seen that? Oh, it's great. It's great. And The Kingsman, do you like that film? Yeah, that's right. Had some fantastic soundtrack.

And Bridget Jones's baby as well. It's great songs. I'm glad it. I'm bad it is. Fine. It's not giving me artistic license it not. The second trilogy. Second British trilogy.

What was the first after Bridgett? Before Bridget Jones. The first British trilogy? Yeah. Um. Hmm. Adult kiddo hood and brother. Yeah, yeah.

Considering you're one of them, I thought that would have come quicker to you. I was thinking before Bridget Jones. Yeah, only a few weeks before, but we got there first. Oh, okay. Well, actually, I've been looking into what the top British films of this year have been. So later on, we're going to be talking about what was the highest grossing things. Because it's interesting when you look at the figures of what actually bombs at the office and what works. At the office

At the box office At the box office At the office At the office Here the bomb's at the bomb Yeah that bomb The bomb We've also got some games

We've got Lucy Passon coming back in To review the films I've seen a lot of films This week So there's lots to talk about I've seen a couple Get involved in the show

If you've got any questions for me Noel Lucy Anybody or any of our guests Yeah email clock Hashtag I will save you From Johanadjah Or chill at Fubbaradio.com's email address We read

We're going to shout you out If you email in Or tweet us at Fulbar Radio. Right, we're going to go for our first song, and this is the opening song to the film nerve. Great.

Which I saw this. It's great. It's got Emma Roberts. I know. I love Emma. I love Emma. It was an amazing. And Dave Franco,

who I got to interview, but I called him James Franco, so I don't think that went down too well. Right, okay, so first song, it's called Can't Get Enough by Bassanji. Basanji? I'll probably sort of that name. I will save you.

Beautiful. Beautiful time. It was all right. It was all right. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. It was alright. It was a good film opener. I really liked it. Really enjoyed that film. Oh shit. What have I done?

You guys missed it, but Noel has spent the majority of that song trying to adjust his chair to get comfy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She found it very funny. And now I've just done my Instagram video and it didn't even upload because I'm not concentrating. Life, you're losing life today. First world problems.

Yeah. So, what have you, I haven't actually seen you all week. What have you been up to? What have been doing? I've been very busy in the world of film and TV. Yeah. You know, doing press for the show that I'm. also went and saw a great film called Moonlight which I'll talk about later in the in the reviews and generally taking over the world as I do man just you know step

by step step by step so your TV show which is the level the level I TV on ITV it's on ITV Fridays Friday night so that's tonight by the way yeah prime time Fridays at 9pm the level do you watch yourself on Fridays I watch the show 100% watch the show because I like to see if the scripts that we read have actually translated onto screen and it's been received very well so far it's got excellent Carla Chrome in it it's got Laura Haddock

Laura who was in Stores 24 Yeah I met her for back on the film years ago Or for your film and she's also in the new Transformers She's the lead in the new Transformers What? She's amazing I know well I knew that when you meet Laura She's Google Laura Haddock She's like probably the most stunning

Creatures of Ever Seating ever Yeah she's And I saw her, I was just like, oh my gosh, you're going to be, you're the next Angelina Jolie. Yeah, so she's... She can act as well. She can act. So she's going to be the leading new transformer. She's in the level every Friday at 9pm, which I'm also in, guys.

So if you're listening and you like what I do, do check it out. The excellent Carla Chrome, and it's on tonight again. And what's it about? It's like a detective. It's a detective show. So Carla Chrome is a lead detective. I'm her partner, and she's into the investigation. And she's kind of got a little bit more to do with what's happened than she's letting on.

Are you Laura's partner? No, Carla's... Oh, gosh, mate. I'm always, we're not. I wish, we all wish, we all wish. No, I'm Carla's partner in the show. Okay, okay. In the show.

And it's really good. We also have Rob James Collier from downtown Abbey and Lindsay Colson from EastEnders. So you've got a whole range of TV royalty. Yeah, TV royalty. And how long is it going to go on for? How many parts? This is week three.

Okay. So, guys, you guys should check it out because you can do that. Exactly. It's easy nowadays. You can do one and two on catch up. And then the third one's on tonight. nine and I there's a lot of twisty-turning stuff in it twisty turny I'd love I'd love to play detective well you know you hang out with the right guy so I think yeah that's like I

used to want to really actually always I thought if I wasn't going to be doing acting and show busy industry stuff I'd probably go into police work really I think so I think I'd be a good do you think I'd be a good policeman who who who who who yeah I think so I'd love it my eight-year-old's been singing that really I walked past the kitchen the other day and he was like what the fuck is he I said boy where'd you learn that song from he's like angry words I was like oh okay

crazy what kids are learning off the internet all your kids all technologically advanced they can do more stuff I don't let them fiddle about iPad yeah but I don't let them fiddle about with the computers too much otherwise they'll be off doing stocks and stuff before you can

although the oldest one might be good at that I might put him on a son can you make me some make me some money boy I think there is something wrong with the chairs today I'm not I told you man it's the last show it's that last show It's that last show, man.

They feel around with our chairs and stuff. They've pranked us and the chairs are all upside down. And Johanna's skirts backward now. I know, and I have my skirt. I wore my skirt back because probably about an hour today. It's not the day, is it? It's not the day. No, no. It's terrible.

It's terrible. But there's been lots going on with the world. I had a little look on me. I thought entertainment news. Yeah, entertainment news, because that's what this show's about. It's about, you know, entertainment news. And we've got a little fanfare there's the entertainment news. Entertainment News on Backroads.

Lovely. That's over the top. Right. What's going on in the world? So Bob Dylan's been given the Nobel Prize. Yes. For his work, or his like 50 years of work.

Yeah. Which has caused a little bit of controversy, people being like, Bob Dylan, really? And other people being like, being like, of course, Bob Dylan. It's Bob. That's interesting.

Do you know that Bob Dylan has, he has a song called Johanna? I didn't. And someone found it once and gave it to me, and I've always loved it. I was like, there's something with my name on it. That's fantastic.

Because my name's hard to say and spell one. So I like, I like Bob Dylan just because he made a song about me. So he should have been a song about me. So he should have been awarded the Nobel Prize just for that. Just for that, just because he made us, you know, cheers. Cheers, Bob. Right, so Michael Jackson is the top earning dead celebrity.

Still. Still. I mean, the guy's music was great. I mean, that's the thing. Michael Jackson's music at the time was brilliant. You know, not so much in the later years. He's dead and making money. That's crazy.

Obviously, it goes through his children. Does it? His estate. So lawyers and all that take a big chunk. and then they will filter it through to his family and children. It's a bit crazy. But, I mean, he should be getting a prize because, you know, there's not many people that are born a black man and die a white lady.

You know what I mean? There's not many. But I love Michael Jack. I saw him live in 1999. Really? Yeah, dude. Was that before or after he got set on fire? 1999?

After. After? After. After. He was still mixed race at that point. Okay. He was, when he, because I did, I was growing up, I only knew him as white Michael Jackson. I didn't know he was black.

And then I remember someone said, no, he used to be a black guy and showed me a picture. He was gorgeous. Wasn't he gorgeous? I know, man. Black don't crap, man. He was absolutely gorgeous

and then whatever he became later on. I was like, man, you know what? You never know. I realized the other day it was like world mental health. You never know what people are going through, you know what I mean? That doesn't give them excuses to behave recklessly

though. Let me just throw that out of there. But, you know what I mean? You never know what people are going through. And so Michael Jackson was obviously going through some shit. Obviously. Right, let's get back on track to films. Okay, so Star Wars,

The Star Wars firm has been fined 1.6 million for hurting Harrison Ford with his leg injury. You know, he got his leg stuck in the hydraulics of the... So if you guys don't know this, Harrison Ford on set of Star Wars when they were filming it. Not Rogue One that's coming out in December, which we will review for you before you go and see it. But on the film that came out last year, that Force Awakens, he was going through the sliding door. You know, the door's when you go in a spaceship, and they're open. And it came down and it crushed his leg and broke his leg. And they had to stop filming.

I know, and he got airlifted somewhere because he was in Pinewood Studios. So that company has been fined 1.6 million. A million for gross misconduct and, like, safety. A lot of you at home, like, well, Harrison don't need that. It doesn't go to him. It doesn't go to him. The company has been fined.

And it goes somewhere, which then goes somewhere and ends up in some of the guy's pocket. But it doesn't go to Harrison Ford. Yeah, I mean, you'd think being like Harrison Ford. Have you ever had a bad injury on set? Have you ever hurt yourself? done a stunt gone wrong or I've had a few things

yeah I've yeah you know had fight scenes and been punched out and stuff like that you know I did do casualty years ago where I had to kind of roll down a hill and I don't know if I was overzealous but I swear my neck cracked and I like it's never been the same I'm telling you

well you don't realize that you're always on the slant yeah man like you know do you know when I was young I heard it crook because I did it and then it's never bothered me but like sometimes I'm like and then I always think about it when I get neck pain I'm like I wonder if I like actually injured it that day 15 years ago I saw this thing on Facebook today because I like to have a little look

through Facebook and you know the new Assassin's Creed movie that's coming out with Michael fast bender with the fast bender yeah the director did not want a CGI for this like massive jump like a huge actual drop that the assassin had to do so they got the actual stunt guy to do three real life jumps one at 50 foot no one at 70 foot one at 90 foot one a hundred 125 foot free fall drop and there's this video going around on Facebook of this poor stunt guy like he just he literally just jumps off and he does it and free falls and he must have been yeah he's fine he lands on this like well it's this massive uh big bouncy castle yeah but when you look up at the camera from 125 foot looking down that that doesn't not so big anymore it's like

you got you got to make sure you hit that what if you catch the wind and just and it was surrounded it was surrounded by all these he's not made a paper girl well i don't know about physics and dinosaurs or something like but like all the around the little like bouncy, soft bouncy castle about eight or nine trucks. I was like, if he lands on a truck, I don't know. To keep it in shit,

you mate, yeah, that's, wow. But Fastbender's going to get all of the kudos for that now. Yeah, course. He's like,

oh, he jumped off a hundred and 25. Michael, Fassie, Fassie, I love it when you jumped off the thing. He'd be like, yeah, thanks. If you ever had a stunt,

double? Yes, yes. So I do all my own stunts as much as I'm allowed to, but there's been a couple that they wouldn't let me do. Like, in a normally I jumped through a glass window.

stunt guy. I would have done it though. I was well up for it but they wouldn't allow me to do it but other than that I've done most of my own stunts that you see in the films and all my fights. I got to throw a brick through a glass window for this Channel 4 thing. That's exciting. But what they did...

No it was. It was like you can get the brille brick and you can chuck it through the real window. The real brick? The real brick. But the stupid people, they put safety glass in there which will never smash. So no matter how many times I could lob this real brick and people thinking like oh she's on, bless little girl

and then someone went oh no it's safety glass we haven't put the real pain in I'm like well thank you everybody yeah did they change it then so then they changed it to the real glass

and I didn't one take it was fine one take one take Joe pressure they were like you've got what we have one pain you have to get it in in the one take I'm like

thanks guys okay thanks guys yeah cool right I'm gonna get on to my music because the nerve soundtracks is amazing actually this one is from Kingsman

this one from Kingsman okay let's see and guys let me know if you like Johanna's choice some music because you know like I said I will save you I will save you let's have a vote who do you want to control the music next me or no come on come on I think we know where that's going I'm well this is dizzy rascal this is bonkers okay I'll give you this one fuck oh

chile jihanna james and no clap on thuba radio why don't I don't I'm gonna my headphones that's a good question you can hear yourself way better I do sometimes I do seriously put on see these ones aren't plugged in for a stop so I'm gonna fucking help me is it? I don't know about this technological shit. Where do I plug this shit in? Where does he plug his headphones in? I like that. I like Disney Mark's School. I like that. I do.

I'll give you that one. Okay, so far you've given me the first two, so boom, it's like two out of. Well, no, I didn't give you the first one. I thought it was okay. Thank you, sir. All right. Someone's just, we have minions. One of the minions has just plugged in my head. Thank you, Minion. Thank you, Minion. Thank you, Minion. Minion.

Minion. Okay. Right, back to what's going on in the world. Jackson is pregnant at 50. Good for you, Janet, man. She loves the dick, isn't it? What can I say? Like, you know, 50 year old chicks still love dick, man. Well, I don't know if it was with a dick, to be fair, because she's 50. Syringe. Might have been a syringy.

No way, mate. No way. I look at Janet, and I think Janet loves it. And her husband or boyfriend or partner or girlfriend or girlfriend or whoever. Whoever she's with, clearly loves what she's got going on. Loves a booty. I mean, I'm happy for her. and they, you know, 50 is the new, 40. It's not, though, it's 50, isn't it?

But someone was saying, like, whoa, so when her kid's like 20, the mum's going to be, like, 70. Yeah, she'll be in school there, be like, who's grandma's at? Who's grandma's? That's my mom. Shut up, shut up, that's my mom. I don't know.

Except the kid will be like some sort of millionaire and won't give a fuck. Yeah, you just buy that friends. Buy a new mom, whatever. Also in the news, you know, Divergent star Shaline Woody. Woodley. Woodley.

Woody. What's on your mind, Joe? It's right. Is that your day? Is that your day? We're fully a Friday. Friday night. It's chill night. It's Woody night. It's Woody night. No, Shailene Woodley. She's been arrested. I saw that. But for like, you know, celebrities get arrested all the time, blah, blah, blah.

I've never been arrested. Well done. I'm not a celebrity either, so that's probably. I think you are. I think you are. No, not quite. Well done. You haven't been arrested. But a lot of American celebrities, I think, get arrested. I've never been arrested because I run too fast.

All right. Get back to what you're there. She's been arrested for kind of a good reason. She was protesting against. an oil pipeline in North Dakota so she joined him with a protest and got arrested like everybody else and spent a night in jail I did think that was pretty cool I was like actually that's pretty cool

yeah yeah see but it's cool when Americans get arrested because they can't be banned from America that's the thing oh yeah that's why you live there everyone else in the world is terrified because if you get banned from there then you go not that we want to live there with all their guns and stuff but you want to go on holiday didn't you want to go on holiday yeah sometimes you get arrested in your home country and then you're banned you've got to fill out that form

and your band whereas if you're there they don't care because if I get Nick, I can't get a band from the US. Yeah, they're just like, no, no, live here, yeah. Yeah. You can't get kicked out? No, not if you're born there. No, okay.

You can be deported if you're not from there, sure. But if you live there, boom. It's like, there's like cocky little kids that are like, yeah, you can't get me out. That's the thing, man, that's the thing. You got to love me, my mom, boom. But Shalane Woodley, I mean, so she was great in, um, oh, oh, my chair's broken again. Every week. Minion!

Minion! Fix the chair! Then you put on a little bit away there, no. Hey, listen, it's all going in the booty girl. She was in, fault in our stars and had a tremendous performance in that. Oh my God, yeah. The divergent, I mean, don't get me wrong,

I was the most depressing film we've ever seen, and I was like, why am I watching this? Yeah. But divergence, see, I don't like so much. So tell me if you guys like those. Yeah, do you guys like the diversion? I like the first one. Scott on the floor, no. Scott on the floor.

I'm squatting. Hey, I'm squatting. Can he fix it? I'm like fucking Bob the builder down in. Did Bob fix it? He fucking did. I can do it. Come on, you can do it.

You can do it. Who makes these fucking chairs, me? Okay. All right, keep going on the show. I'm going to keep going. I just feel like I really want to like watch, give you some music so that you can. You've got 10 seconds to fix the chair, no.

Come on chair. Come on chair. Come on chair. You tilt that chair. Have you done it? No. No, keep going. You keep on with the show.

Oh, right, sorry, get on the show. Sorry. Okay, so yeah, Shaline Woodley has been arrested, but a high-five to her, I think. Good. What else has been going on? A bit of theatre news, if you're into your theatre. Phantom of the Opera has just celebrated his 30th year.

Phantom of the Opera is 30 years old? Yeah. Fucking hell is really? It's still going strong in London. And what made me feel old was I went to see the 20th anniversary of Phantom of the Opera 10 yards ago. How did you manage that? Well, I just went.

I didn't know. You see, it's principal. I don't want a new chair. They're trying to wheel me a new chair. I don't want a new chair. I'm fixing my chair. It's the principal. Get away with the show.

She's crying. Jahanna is now crying with laughter. I don't know why it's not funny. I'm fixing my chair. I'll be back in a second. Hold on. Okay. Hey, you keep thinking.

Oh, we've got an email in. Okay, Nolsa, just listen to this while you're doing that. So, hi, Noel and Johanna. What do you think of the new Star Wars, The Force Awakens? I didn't like it. I thought it was a rip-off. I love the classics. Carrie Fisher could barely stand up, never mind act.

I'd literally love to know your opinions on this. Gary from Essex. I was... I'll be here with you in a set, Gary. I like the new film. Oh my God, the chair's upside down now. This is... I like the new Star Wars Force Awakens.

I thought it was funny. I liked the new characters. I wasn't offended by any of the new shit that they put in it. I thought it was good. I really like the girl. Daisy. Is it done? Is it done?

I'm 90% there. I think 90% to enough for now. Yeah. I'm back, guys. Go, he's back. I can write a movie about that, you know. What, the chair? The chair fixer.

Start with Tom Hanks. We're in Oscars. I dare you. So yeah, what did you think of Force Awakens? Is this from Gary? Yes, it's Gary in Essex. Gary and Essex, hello, mate. Thanks for listening, buddy. I liked it.

You'd be happy to know my chair is almost fixed, 90% there. I quite liked it. I agree with you. The classics are the classics, but you have to understand, you know, we were around when those ones were on. For every kid now, this will become the classic. Yeah, this would be the new.

And the reason it was similar to the original, I guess, was because they're kind of restarting the story for a whole new generation. So it kind of wasn't for us in that kind of way. But if we love the other ones, we were supposed to love it, I understand why you don't like it. But I did like it, and I liked John Boyega specifically playing Finn. I thought that was brilliant.

Oh, no, he was amazing, wasn't he? So, Gary, you are a very smart man. But on this occasion, we just happen to disagree, but keep listening. Yeah, no. Thank you very much. Have anyone else got any other reviews on films that we're talking about or films we haven't talked about? What are you seeing?

Let's get a conversation going. Apart from Brotherhood, what have you liked? Apart from Brotherhood? Because we're assuming you all loved. Right, I'm going to go to my next song, so let's have a little look at what we've got on here. What can I pick? I feel like so much pressure now. Yeah, please.

Because you're going to just absolutely, okay, we're going to go for another high-paced one. This is called Ride by Lowell. Right. I will save you. Right, it's from the nerve soundtrack again. Right, eh? Yeah, let's check it out. Yeah, okay, cool.

Right, so we're moving on to our first guest of the show. Yes. Which is Gabe Glinger, the director. of Porto's new film. It's going to be showing at the BFI London Film Festival. I've seen it this week. Fantastic. It's starring Anton Yelchin and Lucy Lucas. We've, I think we've got Gabe on the first. Let's see if technology. Is he here? Is Gabe here? He's going to be online. So let's see if Gabe. After Gabe, are you with us? Yes, I'm here on the line. Hello. Hello, sir. Thank you so much.

Oh, thanks for having me. No, not a problem. So I was just explaining to our listeners that I went to see Porto. I saw a screening of it earlier in the week. And it's also, it is showing at the BFI London Film Festival at the moment. So if other people want to check it out where they can. And please do, guys. Yeah. And... Yes, it's screening tonight, actually.

What's night? What's night? The cruise on Mayfair at 915. Boom, 915, guys. So put the level on Sky Plus or whatever and go out and watch Porto. Go out, go out. Go out. Go out.

And... Thanks. If you're lucky, I may be in the lobby and they may have an extra ticket for you. Ah, fantastic. Listeners. want to show up, they may get a lucky ticket. There you go, guys. Turn up. Turn up.

So the film, it stars, and it's one of the last projects of Anton Yeltsin, who sadly passed away this year. It was this year, wasn't it? I believe so, yeah. And was he able to see the final film? Oh, yes, yeah, he was. I mean, we were quite finished by that point. Okay. No, you know, there was very collaborative, very hands-on.

relationship, you know, some actors step off a set and you never see them again. That certainly wasn't the case with Anton. We were in touch daily. So Anton was, yeah, he, I mean, it was just the nature of the collaboration. It was just the way that we kind of set it up. And how long was your process with the actors, how far in advance of shooting had you cast them and, you know, did you have an extensive rehearsal process? Because I'm guessing with a film like this, you kind of need to, you know, you kind of need to, you know, get the actors familiar with each other really go through the rehearsal process. So kind of just tell us a little bit about that. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, you know, you start with discussions and with both of the actors that went on for several months before pre-production.

And then pre-production is when you're actually all, you know, you're finally everyone's together and on the ground in Porto. and we're all in the same, you know, hotel, and we were, you know, having breakfast together daily and then starting our day talking and then, you know, eventually getting into the rehearsals. And we did about two weeks of that. Two weeks of that. Yeah, I'd allocated about two very intensive weeks

to be able to do that. So, yeah, I think it's absolutely important. It's imperative, yeah. I just, you know, because this film is, you know, quite, obviously there's lots of intimate scenes as well. It's like, you know, that was really where I was coming from. I direct to myself as well and produced and

my film is currently very high in the box office in the UK, just throwing that out there. But this is about you, sir. So also, what I wanted to know is when you have an unfortunate situation like we had with Anton, how does that affect you?

Because this show is about people understanding our business and getting into our business, and I want them to understand how, how does it affect a film like yours when your lead actor suddenly and unfortunately passes away? I mean, you know, fortunately it's something that I don't

I don't really think about it I don't have to think about it. My work with Anton It was in the film and he was alive while we were making the film and And so what happened afterwards is completely separate from our film It's not something I think about as Somehow connected to the movie I think about it as this random separate thing that happened No, of course, but does it hinder it in terms of does it hinder it in terms of sales?

You know, because we all know As well, I know as a filmmaker, you know, sometimes your film, you know, it lives or dies on the sales you get and where it goes and the life it has and the press tours and all this kind of stuff. And it's just like trying to get the audience to understand, you know, how these things can be affected, you know, and how has it been for you guys? Yeah. I mean, honestly, you know, I don't think about that stuff. It's the, you know, maybe I should. I don't know, but it's not, you know, it's something I just kind of leave the. the sales and marketing people that talk about and decide.

I have very strict restrictions about that. You know, I don't, you know, like, for example, nobody can enter into a deal with a distributor where they could put it on the poster, like, you know. No, of course not. Something exploiting the, you know, anything like that. So we're being, you know, we want the release to be very tasteful. Yeah, exactly.

And very appropriate. And, I mean, look, you know, if you look at the film, it has this sort of elegy quality to it. It is about the memory of loss and all this stuff. So, of course, you can't help but think of things that sort of happen. But everybody's going to bring their own experience into the movie. And I hope in 10 years' time, if people are watching the movie, they're not directly thinking about what happened to Anton.

No, of course not. So that's the way of view the film now. I think for people who haven't had a experience of the film, or they don't know what Porto is about. So Porto is the, it's the main town, in Portugal, isn't it? In Portugal, yes. The capital. It's where you filmed.

Did you film? Did you film in Paris as well? We did film in Paris as well. Just the one brief scene. But, no, Porto is a very industrial city in Portugal. It's a very industrially robust city in Portugal. Lisbon is the kind of the cap, you know. Oh, right, yeah.

Yeah, my wife's from Portugal. Yeah, but Porto. it's just a very important working class city and it's a very you know the river the doro that flows through it you know is

connects a lot of the you know the city with the trade you know international trade and things like that yeah so I wanted to ask you as a film maker myself like what inspired you to create

such a beautiful film like where did the story idea came from come from because I see you are a the co-writer as well as the director so you know what was it that inspired bide you to come up with this story? I don't, you know, it's, you come up with an idea. I mean, first I came up with the sort of formal concept of the film of working with these different supports, you know, these different gauges, super 8, 16 and 35 millimeter.

And then I, you know, created the story around that. It's a little counterintuitive because usually you come up with a story and then you come up with the form. For me, it was the other way around. Right. I just, I wanted a story that could fit into this, and I wanted, so I thought a love story could be appropriate, where, you know, you have this sort of thing where you're kind of telescoping the love story. As, as, as you learn more about what happened to these two characters, you get into 35 millimeter, which is just more immersive, more detailed and, you know, all these things. So just, you know. Just for all the fans out there who don't understand what that is. So you shot basically over three different types of cameras. You did a film stock, film.

Film stock. Super 8, which is super, super old, really, really old film. Yeah, well, they're all very old, you know. Actually, the oldest film format is 35mm. It's been around for about 130 years. After that, they started making 16mm, because it's more portable. That was actually something like, so they could go off and shoot in the war, you know, in wars. It was like a lightweight, you know, cameras.

Okay. Things like that, and then home movies could be made in 16mm. And then Super 8 was like the next, you know, generation after that, you know, where, like, real ammo. But it was, first it was just regular 8mm. Yeah. And there was even like 9.5 millimeter. There are all these formats and no longer exist. So, I shot my first feature on Super 16.

Oh, cool. And my second one was on 35. And my last two have been digital, Alexa. What's your, what's your favorite? What do you prefer? Are you like, I kind of prefer film myself. but, you know, there's arguments about Stark and blah, blah, blah, where do you sit with that? Well, I think it's, you know, digital's great for certain things and film is great for other things.

And for us, that was, it was never a discussion. This film had to be shot that way in these formats. I was never going to give up that. I know, sure, but generally would you, like, you know, for your next film, for example, would you, if they said, right, we love what you did. on Porter but on this film we want one choice one choice would you do 35 oh I do 35 yeah 35 millimeter

for sure it's still the best I think yeah even if you know I think if I did another documentary my last film was a documentary if I did another documentary I would do it digitally I'm fine with that because you really the facility of being able to leave the camera on

and you know that kind of thing and just shooting you know hundreds and hundreds of hours you can't really do that anymore on film unfortunately. So you have to have, you know, you have to execute a pretty tight ship. Yeah. Yeah, it has to be a tight ship. I'm with you because there's something about the discipline of, as a director of knowing you're on 35 and knowing what you want instead of just going, shoot, shoot, shoot everything, shoot everything, shoot everything. And I think that's, it's, yeah, exactly. It's a great

discipline. It's a great discipline. Can I just ask the question about your leading lady, Lucy Lucas, just how did you find her? Did you see her in something else and or did she come into audition because she was so beautiful and amazing and interesting to watch on screen. She did come into audition. Okay. She was somebody we found in the casting process, which is just kind of magical that somebody could come in like that and just kind of knock you out. She just gave such a great reading.

She was, you know, I told her, you know, I didn't cast her right away based on the first reading. I said, you know, I have to think about it. But I gave her the script, the full script, because at that point she hadn't read it. And she came back in two or three days with, like, you know, the whole thing was annotated. And what I think about this character, you know. And I just said, oh, well, this is great. But it was great. And not in like, oh, this is going to be annoying to work with somebody who picks everything apart.

It was more of like, wow, she's got some really great ideas here. You know, like, this is going to be a great collaboration. So she just, she fought for the job. You know, it's her first starring role. Yeah. It's her first role in English. and she just nailed it. She wanted it badly, and, you know, we knew we needed somebody like that

on a tiny movie like this. Of course, who's going to be there at, like, when you're losing light, and you've got two shots to get, and you can only get one, and you're like, roll on the ground. You need someone who's going to roll on the ground. Man, I feel you, man. Like, I know, because I've done it, like, a few times. She was really, I was so impressed by her.

Yeah. I really enjoyed it. So, well, thank you so much for spending time and, like, letting us know. So tonight at the Curzon, you can catch Porto. 915. Yeah, brilliant. Yeah, indeed. Yeah, we're going to show it tonight.

Tonight's our last showing at the BFI London Film Festival, but I hope not our last showing in London. No, of course. I'm very sure you will get a release and it's going to be great. And Gabe, I appreciate you because I'm a director as well, so I get it. So thank you so much for your film, your art and for everything. Thanks for your time, Gabe. I really appreciate it, guys.

Thank you. Bye. Take care. everybody. Cool. Right, I'm going to pop on my next song. This is Soap by Melanie Martinez. She...

No one is rolling his eyes at me. Are you going to give you grief on every single song? This girl is talented. I interviewed her earlier this year, actually. And she's this tiny little, weird little American girl. And she sings... She sounds like a hobbit. One of her songs is now, like, the theme tune for American Horror Story.

So she's... She's called. This is soap. Because she's a hobbit. I will save you. all right let's let's pop this on we'll be right back we've got loads of emails coming in so we'll be right back after this song and we'll be shouting you guys out back row and chill with jihanna james and no clarke on thubar radio boom back row and chill no no no no no no no okay she sounds like she's playing instruments in the bathtub

like i was tell me guys if you're feeling that song because i was not feeling i think she was i'm like listening to the song i'm like this is all right then suddenly it's like what is that about? She's bringing something new. She's bringing something new to the table. Right, we have got a plethora of emails in. By the way, guys, Johanna has a dictionary on her lap. So that's where she gets those words from.

Plethora. I'm just Googled in these words. I don't know what they are. Right, so we've got one. Okay, listen, I'm just going to go back in the order. So we've got from Gemma in West London. Hi, Hi, No, and Johanna. Did you guys see the hateful eight last year? I love Tarantino's my favorite,

but I know he's of a certain taste. What did you guys think? Gemma in West London? Okay, mum, Mom, listen. Stop, stop emailing in the show, okay, mom. All right? My mum emails, too.

I think it's just our mums that are emailing. She's called Gem as my mom and what's at. I'm sure it's not my mum. So she didn't like the hateful eight. She said, no, she said that I love Tarantino, who's my favourite, but I know it's of a certain taste. What do you guys think? I like Tarantino.

Yes, I love Quintinty. Okay, filmmaker, like, the hateful late script-wise is not brilliant. You know, not a lot happens, you know, it's, but, and a lot of it is based on tension, but that can work as well. Okay, Tarantino is obviously a great filmmaker, so, you know, it shot very well. He knows how to tell a story. So in that regard, and as a Tarantino fan, myself, forgetting the fact I'm a filmmaker, as a Tarantino fan, I like what he does. That wasn't his best film, but it's Quentin, so, yeah, it was still good, so I enjoyed that.

Nice, yeah, he's talented. Thank you, Gemma. Okay, I've got one here from Sean. Sean says, Hey, Sean. I watched Eddie Murphy's coming to America last night for the first time.

Do you like these slapstick films? Okay, firstly, Sean, where the fuck have you been? It's 2016. How can you watch coming to America for the first time? That's like early 90s, early 90s? Like, I mean, like, where have you been? Secondly, I do like slapstick. I don't quite think that one is slapstick,

but I do like it. And that was Eddie Murphy's prime, I think. Those are classic films. I like slapstick. Do you? Yeah. I've heard that. about her.

I can slap. So thanks Sean. No, I think that physical comedy is one of my favorite and it's kind of, you know, you can you can't beat like a you know silly, silliness. Yeah.

Just for relaxing a fart joke or someone falling down the stairs. No, I'm not partial to fart jokes. You're not partial to a bit of poop joke? No, no, no, no. Because poop, pooping me, I don't like poop, man. You've had three kids so you're just off it now, aren't you?

I'm just off poop, man. Meanwhile, Johanna's like, yes, scat porn, scat porn, scat porn, scat porn, scat porn. Right, do you want to do it? Okay, right, right. This is from Tom in Brighton. Oh my God, have you watched Westworld yet? It's amazing.

I love the film from the 80s. The TV show on Sky's great. Ed Harris, Anthony Hopkins, are brilliant. Well, actually, Tom, I was going to speak about this later because it is on my top to watch TV show things because my dad showed me the original film, which was it 80s? I thought it was in the 60s,

but basically the premise of, have you ever seen the original Westworld? No, I haven't seen the original. So the premise is it's just like a Disney World the future and they've got three or four different world. So there's like medieval world where everyone dresses up as knights and princesses and then you've got Westworld

people dress up as cowboys and it's basically when the day when West World goes, the robots that run... Okay, no spoilers. No spoilers. But they've made it into this new Sky TV show. I enjoyed it. My friend's in that. Really? Luke Hemsworth. He is a good friend of mine and he is the third Hemsworth brother.

There's a lot of those hot brothers. Well, I don't find them as hot as you might because I don't swing that one. He plays Thor, Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth plays Thor. Liam Hemsworth is from the Hunger Games and Independence Day. And Luke, who's my buddy. I mean, I know all of them, but Luke is my buddy.

Yeah. He is now in Westworld, which is great. Great for him. Love you, Lukey. Yeah, so go check out. If you have Sky or Sky Girl, or if you know someone who knows someone, get in on that, get on the West World. Okay, so I've got one here from an email from Jacob.

Oh My Days, Noel. Yeah. Your films, Kidot Hood, Addohood and Brotherhood, truly inspiring films that are going to be standing the test of time. Arnold O'Chang, the guy who plays Henry in two of the films, is a substitute teacher at my school. Such a legend. Love

your work, keep it up. Jacob, in year 11. Cool. Thanks. Jacob, you've got homework to do, mate. It's half six. Get on with your homework. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you so much, man. I mean, obviously, I'm a filmmaker and I make films and you know, that's what I do and some

of them are socially relevant and I always appreciate it when you guys are enjoying them. So, thank you very much but now do your homework buddy now do your homework right we have got our second guest Tom Meaton actor in so we're going to pop to a song we're going to get him cozy in the studio

the ghoul the ghoul from the ghoul the ghoul so we are going to pop to the next song this is run by TIGSter author and it was guys please help me here it was in the new Bridget Jones told me you don't like these songs please help me know it is called I know its name can you describe it

it comes out and I I can't get rid of it hollows you out and it clings to you other people can see it they see it on you and they're frightened to come near in case it leaps off you and onto them so they stay away

and that's what it wants it hasn't beaten you yet Christopher and it's been trying for years spooky stuff So that was a clip from the new movie The Goal, which is currently showing at the BFI London Film Festival. And we are joined in the studio by actor Tom Meetin and the executive producer of the film, Deraj Mahe.

That's right. Woohoo! Okay. Hey guys. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you. Thanks for having us. No problem.

Brilliant. So have you guys, have you been to a screening at the BFI yet? Or are you, when's this film going to be showing? Our film The Goal is showing tonight. Tonight. Okay. Competition. Competition time.

It's 9pm. It's like, ready to set, go. Yeah, we're tonight and we're also Sunday afternoon. Oh, nice. And what time of Sunday afternoon and where? We are at, tonight is at the Cine View in Haymarket. Okay, guys, there you go. And Sunday afternoon is on a picture house central at 2.30.

3 o'clock. Three o'clock. But get there at 2.30. Get there at 2.30. Get a seat. Yeah. So you hear that guys, the goal at Picture House 230 Sunday. And so for people.

People who are listening who haven't come across the gawall so far, because we just give everybody a run down of a synopsis of what it goes about. The name is a little bit, a little misleading. It is a little. Sometimes you might be like, oh, goblins and stuff like that. I know, I assumed it was like a horror. Yeah, yeah. I guess the insinuation is it seems like it might be a full-on horror.

Exactly. It's more of a mental horror. And I play the lead in it called Chris, who ostensibly starts out as a detective, but things, including his own mind, unravel. and it becomes more about a mental horror and he's like he's been manipulated by people and he's basically in the process of a breakdown

and the film itself unravels as his own mind unravels if you like. Yeah, great. And when did you guys actually shoot this? We actually shot it two years ago. Oh really? So we're taking a little while too. We're quite low budget, don't mind admitting.

Small film, it's a very small film so it's taken a while. I've been there, I've been there. You know, I know about that stuff and I feel like what we're doing the show some is we want to school these people that are an audience that want to get into the business about the process. So, you know, Kidot, for example, was made in 2004 and didn't come out to 2006. So very similar to his journey to you guys' films. So just explain the pros.

Tell us exactly what happened in that process quickly. Well, we, as I said, we were low budget. We actually shot the film a couple of years ago in 10 days. Most of the dialogue have you seen. So it's very, very quick. It's very rare. For people that don't know, that's kind of, you know, almost unheard of. And we had a few days of sort of pickups of following me around the streets,

around Hackney and places like that wandering around. But that was a small setup. And then because we were low budget, we had to drive a lot of this stuff ourselves. Of course. And a lot of favours and help from people, which is why it took a lot longer, a lot of films with a bit more money, can just sort of pay for these and push these things through. Underdogs.

Yeah, exactly. Fight, in a fight. So it must have been great that it got into the festival for you guys. It was amazing and it was a surprise we're not going to lie. I think we couldn't believe it when it got in, but I think at the same time, you know, we're really pleased to be there. And I think it's a very London film, I would say. It is, yeah.

It's our world premiere, so we couldn't really ask for a better place to put it. I mean, don't be surprised, guys. It's a testament to the talent, you know. And I think like when I think sometimes festivals can see, you know, when films are not always going to get those massive releases, they can see when people have put their passion and their fire into, into making a film and really have believed in it themselves. You can see that on screen, you know, and I think that's nice to hear.

I think it's also, because as you know, if you're working on a low budget, everyone has to put more effort in. So you have to have a lot. And Gareth, who I think you might be speaking to shortly, as the writer-director, and he put his heart and soul into this and had to push it at every level to make it happen. At every level as well, because you finish it, and then there's a whole lot of push to get it to the festival itself. And I think it's a film which was, from the off, very much outside the system,

So that's why it relies on everyone buying and investing. But I think that's why we're really pleased to be in the festival in a way because, you know, it's been truly independent in every sense of the world. So for us to now have this platform, you know, we're just made up really. Fantastic, yeah, yeah. And it's an unusual and really interesting film because all the way through, you're never sure, because it plays on what is reality and mental health. No spoilers, but so, but essentially more the premise on the,

the synopsis on IMDB is like it's a detective who's going undercover and he goes to see a psychiatrist and then through that process of therapy starts to wonder which which is which reality is real and as an audience member you're sitting there going oh no no that's definitely real no no is it is it I don't know and you start to maybe you know it just makes you double think everything and double guess everything so it's um it's a good little you have to really have a be on the ball to watch this film yeah yeah it's a challenging It's a challenging, you know, you have to make it. The character loses his mind, and I think Gareth wanted the audience to lose their mind.

Slide as they watched it as well. And Tom, what's your, as an actor? As an actor when you're playing a part like that, where you do have to kind of have, without giving too much away and not necessarily literally dual realities and all that sort of stuff. What's your process when you were doing that? Well, I think, because I've worked with Gareth quite a lot, the director, writer, and so we worked a lot through each scene.

individually because I have usually done quite a lot of comedy in my career. So this is sort of the first serious role I've been sort of titting about on stage for many years, getting my balls out and all sorts of things. Well, you can get them out here, you know. It's a free show. You've got a webcam now, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, stage, webcam, man, where 10,000 people, a million people, eh. So, but yeah, I mean, it was amazing opportunity for me to do a serious show. serious trots. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. So I was very privileged and just sort of, just worked really hard

with Gareth to get it right. Yeah. And you're exactly right. That sort of dual reality was just sort of, I mean, to be a lead in the film and almost a play to separate characters

is sort of, you know, unheard of in a way. So, yeah. Has the film, now that it's getting exposure and have you had any sort of connection to two mental health charities or working alongside?

No. So I think like, so the mental health aspects, a really strong aspect, and it's something that, you know, is very true and very there to the people involved in the way the film was conceived. I think that for us, though, there's lots of aspects, and we're kind of wary about kind of foreground and one over the other, I suppose. So there's also an aspect of magic and the occult and stuff. There's like, you know, it's a detective story. And I think the influences for Gareth, he can speak about this

more himself, but, you know, he's into lynchium type films and early. Nolan films and so I think we were very conscious that even though we wanted to kind of have that theme in there we didn't want it to appear like an issue film really we wanted to take that and actually do something different yeah it is it is actually when you say it is sort of early Nolanesque isn't it yes yes yeah memento and all that kind of stuff yeah yeah the following was with was one of being yeah that was the perform memento yeah that's right yeah yeah and I know gareth was sort of inspired by that as well a bit I think. Yeah, yeah, great.

Okay. Yeah. Fantastic. And so when you just for the people, listen, when you make a film like this, obviously you have the process now you've worked in two years, but, you know, have you guys yet got your distribution? Or, you know? So we're in the process.

Oh, yeah. We're in the process. So the honest answer is no, basically we're still in discussions. So I think for us, we're really proud of the film and we think it will definitely get pits up and have a life but for us, we're not worried about it being a commercial film so much.

I think for us it's just finding people who get the same vision that we have for the film and we should talk after. I know some people. Okay. We'll talk about. Now we're talking. There's business meeting going on right now. But, no, unfortunately this week

I have, I've been doing lots of film reviews and it's just happened that I've had a really intense week of films. So I saw the goal at the end of, I've watched the nocturnal animals. the new one that's coming out. Yeah. So dark.

So, so dark. And Porto as well, which is quite on the dark side of life. So I'm just feeling a little bit like, a little bit of someone being silly, getting the balls out on stage and I think. This can be arranged. Or on a radio show.

Was it important to, obviously we'll speak to, Gareth, we'll speak to Gavre. But was it important, do you feel that it was set in London? Yeah, I mean, I think in some way, I mean, it's sort of a cliche of a thing, but I'm going to say it anyway, it's like the city is almost another character within the film,

and because it is about this, my character is kind of quite isolated, and he suffers quite a lot. He's very isolated within London, and I think there's quite a lot of people that could probably relate to that. You're surrounded by millions. Surrounded by millions.

Busiest place in England, and yet the loneliest can be, if you don't have those support network. Well, some might say that's why in a way, isn't it? Because you're surrounded by so much life, in your own mind. you can be as lonely as anyone.

So that's sort of an interesting thing that was explored. Starised London as well, isn't it? Yeah. It's from London. It's not a London I would recognise, but I do relate to it straight away as well. Yeah, I didn't initially know. Some of the main London scene, like the bridges and stuff I knew,

but the rest of it was sort of general. Yeah. Hackney didn't know it was Hackney? Yes. Yes. And how was it to act with, because I was so impressed and engaged with the actor who played the Fisher, the psychiatrist?

Oh, okay, yes. That's Neve Kuzak. Yes. And how is he to act with? Well, imagine Tom was like, terrible. I could not stand out. Pretty bad.

No, you mean, you're talking about Jeffrey, I think. Yes, the male side. The magic one. You're talking about Jeffrey McGiven, who gives this brilliant. I mean, he's a psychotherapist, but also he's almost, in some ways, like a, like a, not quite a wizard. He's into the spiritual. Yes, absolutely. And into.

Because he was on the little sound clip that we played before. He was, yes. Yeah, I was like, I want him to be my psychiatrists. He's great. He's absolutely incredible. I mean, you know. Always having tea. I mean, how many cups of tea did you drink?

A lot of tea. A lot of weeing going on him. There was so many, every scene, it was like, let's have a tea. Let's have a tea. That's British psychiatry for you. He's absolutely brilliant. And he was actually in the original radio of,

radio version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Oh. So he's had this brilliant history. Again, a little bit of sort of comedy. Yeah. And he's absolutely incredible. And, yeah, he's a, mesmerizing.

Yeah, he was brilliant performance. He's got some brilliant lines in it as well. But as well as Tom, the rest of the cast come from a comedy background. Yeah, yeah, because that's our connection. So we, in casting it, because I helped produce it as well. So in casting it, we, you know, as you do,

you want people you trust if you're doing something like budget. And also, the people you know they're going to do a good job. So we've got Alice Lowe in it, who's brilliant. And Paul Kay, Rufus Jones, Dan Skinner, all lots of sort of... So that was a, that was a conscious choice. And I'm guessing a lot of the actors wanted to play something.

and do something quite serious as well. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of a lot of comedians go, all right, I'm going through my serious phase. It's going to get very serious. I can do that. But, yeah, I think it's an exciting thing to do. I mean, one of the reasons I got into this sort of industry was to do as many different things as possible.

And so that keeps you, you know, keeps you alive, isn't it? So that was, yeah, that's definitely. Everyone said yes immediately, luckily, because of the scope of the script and they're very excited about it. That's great. That's great. That's great. All right. Have you? Well, what was I'll say?

I think we're going to pop to a quick song. Yes. And then after song, if you guys want to stay in the studio, because I have a, we have a weekly challenge, just guess the TV theme song. And I think if you're up for playing, they'll be, yeah, have a little bit of... And then Garrett.

And then we're going to speak to Garrett. So I'm going to pop to a song. This is Electric Love by Burns, again from the Nerve Soundtrack. Shut up, no. We've just had an email in from my mum. Who said, I sent Noel a bar of chocolate. Read the top. part of it. This is Johanna's mum. I sent Noel a bar of chocolate. Did he get it or did

Johanna eat it? Love the show. Mrs. Bennett. Mrs. Bennett, my darling, you can probably hear, I'm eating the chocolate. He's eating it now. So thank you very much. Your other daughter did try and hide it but I've got it and I love the chocolate and I know you love chocolate too so. She does. She loves a black man. I'll be around later. Right, okay. We found out that Gareth is the director of the film The Goal. He's actually on the line already so we're going to go straight to him and then we can have fun and game. So Let's see if it works again. Gareth, are you there?

I'm here. Yes. Hello. I'm so excited when the technology works. Welcome. Gareth, we have your actor and your executive. Hello. I wondered where they've got to.

Got the whole family in. Yeah, so we've just been speaking about the film and the process of it. And so from a director's point of view, how did you get involved? And sort of where did it all start for you? Well, he's a director. I am the director. It's a good question. Because I wasn't a director who was hired onto this project.

I basically kind of just sort of induced the whole thing to happen because nobody else was hiring me. I would hire you to me. So I thought, you know, let's just go for it and make a film. Fantastic. Let's just make a film. Let's make a baby. Yeah. So, so I'd make a baby with Tom Meekin.

And two years later, we have one. The baby's clearly got your looks, sir. I'm after. So, so, Gareth, tell me. So you were an actor? Yes. Are you still acting? Or have you, and now are we just directing now?

Noel, I am available for any parts that is out there. Can you do Roadman? Can you do Roadman? Can you do Roadman? She's taking a piss because I do Kid Otterhood and she thinks she's hilarious now. I'm available for any part. Availability is actually on my CV.

It's on my skills. Available. And when did you decide? Available. When did you decide? When did you first decide? that you were like like I did many years ago when did you first decide that you were going to sort of go for the directing as well well I decided quite a few years ago but the the industry

also decided that they didn't necessarily they weren't necessarily interested as you as you probably know Noel it's hard to get films off the ground very yes I do so so for that reason in the end I just decided to just go for it with a very small amount of money And I was lucky enough to know Tom, who was up for it and game. I said, you know, let's do this. We'd made a couple, we'd made, with me, Tom and the producer Jack Gutman, had made a couple of shorts. And we just said, you know, none of us are getting any younger.

Let's make a feature film. Yeah, yeah. Just do it. Yeah. And, yeah, that does happen. And I do know, I do know. I think the same process was with art, with one of my first ones where we just went for it because nobody wanted to do it. and so for you what was the

what was obviously we have the story is the story but what were you what was it you wanted to say with this film what was it you wanted what do you want people to take away from it well I guess it's hard with any film to apart from Tom's dazzling good looks clearly apart from putting Tom meeting on the screen which was you know long overdue but um apart from that

I get it's hard to say where where a film starts and it's always a bit of a just so story but I guess But you said this idea wouldn't leave your head. It kept coming back, kept coming back. Exactly. It has to be like that, I think, doesn't it? It has to be something that you just feel has to be made.

And I wanted to make a film about depression in a way, or at least about mental health problems. But I didn't want to make a film that was depressing. And if you make a film about someone who's going through depression, it might be just, it might end up just being somebody sat in a room, going at their shoes, which apparently nobody wants to watch. I'm told, I'd been told. I'd watch that.

You might, you might, you and I might, so we'd be the only ones there. But we found, we sort of tried to look for a way of wrapping up those themes in a film that was a thriller, that was a mystery, that was a love story as it turns out, and kind of giving the audience more of a more of a kind of enjoyable experience and then sneaking those themes in there wrong the way. Sneaking them under the radar. Fantastic, fantastic. And what's next for you?

Have you got projects in the pipe? Well, I don't know. We're flat out, because we're such a small-scale production, we're flat-out just doing everything there is to do with getting the goal out there. but I guess that I'd like to do something because of the budget constraints of the movie it's quite a sort of, for better or for worse, it's quite a cerebral film

and I'd like to do something that's a bit more, that's still clever, but a bit more physical and a bit more, got a bit more action in it, which you just really can't just quite do on a tiny, tiny budget. So if we've got to, so if someone's nice and gives us some money, we'd love to do something that's, and the next idea is a bit more physical

and a bit more visceral and a bit more kind of moves around a lot more. Send it in, man. You know our producers, we'll send it in, buddy. Send it in. I'm going to hold you to that. I'm serious. I'm 100% serious. I never joke. Send it in. I'll get them to give you my email. So one last thing I want to ask you because I get asked all the time and I always think it's important to ask, and this is for all three of you. Because this show is a film show and we like to, you know, kind of school the listeners as well.

you know you've done it regardless of how tough it was you've actually done it what's what what advice would you give to people that are trying to do the same apart from just do it like what what what advice would you would you give people and I'll come to all of you guys with this yeah I mean it's sort of it always is that isn't it but I I used to when I was you know younger even younger than I am now I used to hear people go you know just get your camera and just go and film man I used to really kind of annoy me but it is sad I learned the hard way that is all you can do and it doesn't necessarily mean a feature or even a short film

I think the thing that I learned was I went I started off trying to make shorts with very very mixed results and it took years to make just a handful of things you know two or three things and in the end I just realized I really all I've got is the resources to make clips and little sketches and little bits of things and the internet is great because it just gives you at least

some platform to put them out there and the only way yeah the only way to learn is to start a project do it finish it on a deadline or even if you miss your deadline or at least you get it finished eventually

and do the next one and in the end you know stuff just juggles looks and you position oh I think the line's gone he was just about to get to the he was going to get to the secret

and the secret of making movies is we've lost you what apologising I think we've lost Gareth. We've lost him there. Okay. I'm back. Oh, you're back.

Timing. Great. So, yeah, we lost you for a second there. But, yeah, I got it. So, mate, thank you so much. We're going to ask Tom the same question. Yeah, but thanks, Gareth. Thank you.

Thank you. Good to talk to you. Amazing. Thank you for being on the show. Tom. My advice would never be to work with Gareth. Now he's gone. No.

No. No. Actually, I would. my advice in terms of trying to make a feature is the first time I've done it but I think I think a strong thing from making this film

was working with people that you trust and know it's a real challenge to make something especially on a low budget if you can get some work with people you trust and know then I think that gives you a real strength

behind it and my second bit of advice is the idea really and the script you know lots of people say script is king and it's just sort of making sure that your script is as strong as possible and that's definitely one of the strength

of Garris film, which has meant that we've ended up with a really good end product. Yes. And... Well, to echo, I suppose, I think, like, the team and the group of collaborators to move with, and I think Garris scripts are very interesting case, in that in some ways it's a series of two-handers. So in terms of actually getting people in to work on it and structuring it and stuff, and in the end film, hopefully it doesn't feel that way,

but it was actually quite achievable on the budget level. And then the other thing I suppose It would be important for us to acknowledge Like there was some money coming to the film From a charity essentially It's the cinema and television benevolent fund Which is the trade charity for the film and TV industries Wow, okay

And they have a strand called the John Braeburn Award Which is to develop talent Who might not otherwise have an opportunity To move forward That's fantastic, yeah So I think, you know, without their support and that seed at the beginning, the film, again, might not have come to fruition

the way that it has. So that would be my other kind of very specific piece of advice is look up the John Brabun Awards from CTBF as well. There you go, guys. Look up the John Braverin Award. And the film is screening. Tonight, 9pm, Sydney World Haymarket. And Sunday, Sunday the 16th, at 3pm at Picturehouse Central.

So the terror in your eyes, like, I know, I was a part. I'm on that. Is it? My mum and dad are coming to that. Right. Guys, thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming in. Are you happy to stay and play a game with us?

Yes, please. Okay, right. So this is a guest, the TV theme song. So I'm going to play some themes. I've got the answers written down here. How many last week? 15? What do we do?

Just jump in when we know it. So if you know it, just buzz it in. Sometimes, I haven't got them this week, but sometimes I have these horrible flavored jelly beans. If you get it wrong, you have to eat a minging bean. Because you ate them all like my chocolate bar. You have your chocolate bar. Right.

So, TV theme. Number one. Simpson. So, okay. Not one around. It's amazing. Okay, I'm going to write down. I'm like Hussein, but, I'm like the same ball.

I see. It's like that, is it? So, Clark, he got another. It's got a ball out one by the table. Number two. Doctor Who? Boom. Clarkie got two.

We're starting Clarkie, by the way. Okay. I'm going to really start concentrating. That wasn't quite fair. You were in Doctor Who. Star Trek. Oh, Nears. Number three.

Friends. Oh, okay, I'm gonna give it to Tom, I think he got that. He did. Right, oh, let me get my papers in order. That great song, man. Did the Ram Rats ever do anything else? No need. Just retired straight after that.

EastEnders. Dang damn it. Yeah, Derage. Yeah, Derage. It's because he's an East End boy. From an East End, like. He knows it, man. Lives it.

There you go. It's on TV. Oh, is it that detective who's in Jamaica? It's Benadorm. No points to anyone on that one. Oh, paradise. Freshments. Yes.

Philadelphia, more a raise. Oh, the blue ground of the world. Both the Madys. Right. Okay, number seven. Here's how we do. Forting not, don't. You've still got planes to catch up on, guys. Number eight.

Family guy. Oh my God, he's on fire. He's on fire. You guys are terrible. Five points to know. Um, oh, number nine, which is, yeah. Oh, I'm a filmmaker. I immerse myself in TV and film. It's why I do. You just watch telly old day. Right, number 11.

You wears Essex? Yes. Oh, my Lord. You might as well go home, guys. Get out of it. Number 12. Game of Friends. Oh, my God.

You can see my paper. I can't see your paper. You've got your glasses on. You can. your pants there oh what's okay right

number 13 it's Factor I'm alright Tom I'm disappointed I'm disappointed 14 14

series the new series has just come out now zombies Walking Dead I was giving it to them I was giving it to them very very kind

to try at number 15 Big big show nobody Downton Abbey. Yes! It was Downton. Amazing, amazing.

Well done. Okay, so Noel, you got like 11. I'd like to think I won a psychological victory. Derrides. You may be a great exec. You were a disgrace at this TV game. A disgrace. You were so busy, I can't on the call.

So busy, exec in those movies, eh? I'm so busy. Oh, hello, I'm execting movies. I can't watch television. Go and do your homework for next year. Okay. For the next film. No, cool.

I want to play the game, too. But I always set it up. So one week, one week can you set it up so I can play? Yes, I shall. Because it just gets boring with you winning every time. Yeah, that's how I roll, man. Cool. Right, I'm going to...

Box office, winning. Just winning at life. Right, okay, at least you chair. I'm going to break your chair again. No. Right, we're going to play another song. This is from the Kingsman soundtrack again. It's Give It Up by Casey and the Sunshine Band.

Thank you so much, man. Thank you for having us. Go and watch the gul tonight. With Johanna James and Noel Clark on Food. Bar Radio. How about that one? Classic. Give it up.

I wasn't too bad. I'm still eating Johanna's mom's chocolate. I know, man. My mom loves a bit of chocolate. Waiting for the day I deliver her some chocolate. I got a king-sized bar for you. Janice is missing Benny's.

Oh, my mom, dear. King-sized bar with nuts. My mom, she's partial to a man of a chocolate skin color. You're in trouble. You're going to get in trouble. Well, I thought, you know, if any guys out there, if you want to date my mom. Yeah, 07-98-1.

27, 981, 981, 901. You are going to get in trouble. I think your mom's going to tell you off for this. She is. Your dad might tell you off as well. Yeah, no. I'll be around later, babe. Sorry, Dad, you're too pale.

Okay. Right, we've got Lucy Patterson back in the studio. Thanks for having me again. Lucy Pat's Missy Pat. Time for some film review. Yeah. Yeah, what has everybody seen this week? Time for Club.

Love Club. I'm so excited. Film Club. Well, I actually took my nephew. to see stalks. I've heard such great things. It's so funny. Yeah.

He was, he's the only seat express him and I was cracking up. Like, it was just me and a lot of kids. And he was looking at me as if to say, you're doing,

no, it's not even that funny. Yeah, and I was like, shut up, aren't you? Yeah. And I was like, why aren't you laughing? He's not really that funny.

And I was like, whatever, mate. But he's, shut up on your popcorn. Yeah, shh, no. It's written by Nicholas Stoller, who actually wrote, get him to the Greek.

So it's my kind of humor. straight away. The main character is voiced by Andy Sandberg, again, my type of humour, I just have to hear his voice and I laugh. It's ridiculous. And it's sort of like a little buddy movie really. Like, obviously, the myth is that Stalks used to deliver the babies, or maybe still do.

Wait, why? I've just literally ruined everyone's life. They end up, they do that, and they stop for a while, and they end up turning into this Amazon delivery system. service instead, like delivering fridges and packages and stuff. That sounds pretty cool, man. And by a bizarre series of events, the baby-making machine gets started up again, and they end up with this one child, they have to get to their new family.

Yeah. No spoilers, no spoilers. And, you know, that's as far as I'll go with that. But it's really funny. Some of the people they meet along the way are hilarious. You know, you've got people like Jennifer Anston, Tyre Burrell, Kegan Michael Key. There's loads of them. It's really, really good.

I mean, it's not just for the kids. I would go and see it again on my own. Oh, wow, okay. It's funny. Stalks, guys. I've heard that, yeah, the humor in it is on a pot. You know, um, Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Don't anyone see that?

Well, that's Andy Sandberg as well. Okay, yeah. So it's like a whole, there's a level for the children and then there's another level for anybody who's not drunk. And yeah, I've heard it. But to be fair, I'm a bit of a kid as well. So I was laughing at the stuff that's supposed to be funny for kids. Well, I love about animation.

Yeah, I know. Well, I've got, as you guys know, because I'm just like a baby-making machine, ladies for anyone out there I have three I have three boys and so you know I take two of them to the cinema a lot

and that sounds like thing that would be right up there street they would love it take them take them yeah I want to go definitely cool well I saw what did I see so I saw a lot of film

it stalks out now sorry it is out now yeah Storks is out now guys I went to see a girl on the train yeah what did you think because of last week you reviewed it and I was like yeah I'm gonna go

definitely go see that yeah it was good again once you've seen seen it, you know everything, so I don't know if I would watch it. Have you read the book? No, no. So I went in completely not knowing. I did as well and I think I prefer that. I don't understand the people that have seen, I've read the book

but no. I have a question for you guys. I have a question for you guys? Because every girl I meet is like, oh my God, have you read the book? I'm like, I've never even heard of this damn book. So like, what the fuck? To be fair, I hadn't. Is it, is it a book that, like, you know, I'm not being sexist here, but there are some books that are kind of geared towards, is it a book

that was geared towards women? Because I've never heard of this book, and every girl I meet, like, I'm a You've got to have read the book. I'm not, I haven't read the fucking book. No. I don't know. It's a thriller, so I think you can... It's sort of in the same vein as Gone Girl. Gone Girl. Which was massive as well. I mean, someone gave that to me a year before the film even came out. I read Gone Girl before.

And I was like, why does she give me this? I don't read stuff like this. And then when I watched the film, I was like, oh, right, that's why you were giving it to me because it's that good. I think it's just word of mouth type thing. Okay. But it is centered around essentially three women. Ah, so maybe it was pushed. So the woman, yeah, it's in all the women. makes sense by the end of it, these three women are connected.

And it's good, I think it's like, pace well. I was interested and then I don't want to give away any spoilers because once you know, I don't want people who know. You can't say a lot, can you? But I enjoyed it, I did enjoy it, but it was just, so that was dark film number one for my week. Then I went to see actually the home for peculiar children, Miss Peregrine's home again. Yes, I did you? I still haven't gone to say it.

No, I don't know. I didn't want my sister and I saw it a second time, and it was just as interesting second time around. I might go as one of the children to the comic con because I've got tickets to comic con this month so I'm trying to pick my who, what character I want to be and I think I might be the girl with the lead shoes who floats. Oh, excellent. And then I went to see...

Yes, Johanna does cosplay. I do cosplay. I'm a geek, yes. Nocturnal animals, which is not out yet. It's a new Tom Ford film. I'm so jealous that you got to see them. So Tom Ford guys, for you guys, don't know. Tom Ford did, remember, did a single man with Nicholas Holston, Colin Firth. And there was Oscars up for that, wasn't they?

There was an... Yeah. I mean, so the whole premise of the film, Noctanil Animals, is Amy Adams, is like the lead lady in it. And she plays this really lonely art, really wealthy,

in that rich art circle, you know, like the upper crust of arty fashion people. And she has a husband who's cheating on her, and she has an ex-husband who she doesn't have contact with anymore, and he sent her,

he was a writer, like a romantic, lovely writer person. And he sent her this novel and called Nocturnal Animals and he dedicated to her and he said this is like thank you the inspiration for this novel and the novel is like the darkest

most violent story I love stuff like that. The film is switching between the real life Amy Adams reading this novel and how it's affecting her and then you actually go into the story it's a story within a story and the story is this

young family which is headed by oh my gosh his name is like, jumped out of Jake Jenner Hall. I love him. So he plays the actual husband, ex-husband in real life, and the lead guy in the movie. And he's going along with his wife. Oh, I see, because she's picturing him, I guess.

Yeah, she's picturing him, and she casts him, and then she's got, so Amy Adams is a redhead. There's so many redheads in this film. Then there's, the wife in the book is played by, Isla Fisher. Isle Fisher. And then they have a 16-year-old daughter, and they're going along the high, like the Nevada Desert Highway in the book.

And they go head to head with this car of guys headed by Aaron Taylor Johnson. I love him as well. Oh God. Get the mop. Someone gets them up. Someone needs. Get the mop, please guys.

And he plays an absolute... Sorry, Dad. He plays an absolute psychopath. He plays an absolute psychopath. Just rolling my jeans up. There's water everywhere. Flood. Anyway, stop it now.

I'm in a mid. So, yeah, so they're going side by side in the car. the premise of the book and they end up trying to overtake but them getting offended and then getting knocked off the road and then there's a punctured tyres so they can't go anywhere and they end up taking the girl and the mum away

and it's about him trying to get revenge for the attack on the wife and their daughter and there's a murder mystery. There's very much going on. That sounds very good guys I'm putting that at the top of my list too. Yeah I'm definitely going to go into that. It's a good film but you're sitting there and it's tense you love stuff like that. Aaron

Taylor, his performance, Aron Taylor Johnson's performance is it unnerves you because you know those psychopaths who are quite silent you're not really aware of them. So, so charismatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ted Bundy. So, yeah. Actually, I'm pretty sure he said that he used him

as inspiration. Yeah. So someone who you're not sure whether he's, someone's like smiling at you like but they're going to hurt you but they're smiling and-nerving. Yeah, it's like real like kind of like, well I just want to help you change your tyre and I might rape your wife. Like it's kind of like that like whoa. And also I've got a

I've got to give a shout out to the opening of the film. I've never seen anything like it. They had an extended opening of the film, which was slow-mo, older, obese women, totally in the nude, dancing. I'm there. Why? Guys, I'm off to see nocturnal animals. Dancing with only wearing cowboy boots, twirling a baton and wearing those, like, marionette head.

there a reason for that. Major-Ect type things. Major-Ret, exactly. So, hold on, when you say totally nude, boobs out. As in, what, like, waving, so as in,

Fanny out. Fannie, everything. Out. Fanny's out. In slow, man. I'm on my way. Someone, if you bought my ticket

for not turning animals, we're going to go tonight. I'm there. And, yeah, so the opening of the film, you're like, this is bizarre, and it's got these...

I bet it's hypnotic. Yeah. You're kind of, at first you're really shocked and then you just can't stop watching these breasts and these pyjolas and then And then you realize when it opens out, it's the opening...

What opens out? No, the camera. And then you realize that it's the opening art event for the lady, Amy Adams' art, she's putting on an art event and it's a piece of art that they're filming. So it kind of makes sense. But honestly, everyone was uncomfortable, but also intrigued and like... As to why this was happening. It was the most craziest hope.

So I think people should go see the film just for the experience. I'm going. Also, guys, you have to remember, Tom Ford is a... is a fashion designer. Yeah, primarily, that's what he did. So his films,

his films look spectacular. Does it look? Oh, yeah. It's so fashion and like, lovely. High art and each scene is, and there's like a mood and a tone.

You can tell that he thought, he thought about the makeup. He thought about everything. He's that guy. So, so what else you got? You got something else? So,

yeah, so Noctown Animals was good. And then I went to see Porto, which was spoken about already, which again was like a a love story, but again it's quite dark and heavy

it's more like a happy love story it's about true you know you meet someone for someone and then it doesn't work out so I'm feeling a little bit I think I need to go see stalks I was gonna say I think you do you've had a week of it I've had some nightmares coming from from the nocturnal animals and I got to meet

I went to yesterday even I interviewed Aaron Taylor Johnson from the film Oh Johanna I just literally could turn green with jealousy I was in the hotel it was in Soho Hotel and I was waiting to go in with my little I was down there why didn't you remember Were you not? Are you at her? Of course I was.

And then suddenly the door flung open And then this like Little redhead ran out And I was like, oh, that's Amy Adams And like she looked at me as if she knew me like Hi, and I was just like, oh dear, hello Did you speak to Amy Adams as well? She was escorted by like a

She was all happy and like, hello But her auntarons were like, don't talk to Amy. And then so Amy walked down Aaron was still in the room And then they were like, wait Aaron needs to pee Aaron needs to pee Mr Taylor Johnson needs to pee And the poor bloke couldn't even go and pee on his own.

Oh, bless. It had to go and I was just like, and then he came back in. And then I was... Because you two might jump on him if he's on, that's why. Oh, absolutely. I mean, he is, I was worried I was going to fangull over him because he was like my teenage crush of, you know. The thing is that you do find within you the calm.

You find your call, don't you when things like that happen? Yeah, like, because obviously I'm sitting here and you're still cool. Well, people can't actually see me now. So anyway, I saw a film called Moonlight. Moonlight, okay. like at the BFI LFF, BFI London Film Festival. And this film is interesting because it's a film out of Miami. And it has an entirely black cast.

Now, the interesting thing about that is anyone who's not remotely racist or anyone who doesn't think about it. After five minutes, you don't even notice. Yeah. You're just watching a film. And it's about this kid who grows up in a rough neighborhood in Miami. And from a very early age realizes that he's gay. Oh, my God, I saw a train of this.

early age realizes that he's gay he doesn't he never acts upon it he never does anything really but a lot of the other kids know yeah and it's at three stages in his life when he's like seven yeah then it jumps to like when he's like 14 when he really starts defending himself and then it jumps to like when he's in his 20s and then the

Naomi Harris Naomi Harris from MoneyPenny from Bond British actors plays his mother throughout the whole film and is a crack addict and her performance is absolutely out of this world like out of this world like unbelievable for all the years and the older kid

what's his name again I forget what the character's name is the other kid is played by Trevante Rhodes who is Travante Rhodes You guys would like the look at them as well I think Mrs Bennett would love it it yeah Google Trevante Ruth

And he essentially is one that's tip to be like the next like that guy like Denzel or something like that and you know it's a really powerful points Now I know a lot of people kind of maybe a lot of listeners or people that would watch my film to be like yeah I don't want to watch that

but actually it's a really interesting insight into rough neighborhoods and what it's like to potentially be gay in a rough neighbourhood. Yeah man. You know, and it's really, really important film and I think everybody should try and seek it out and watch it.

It's called Moonlight. Moonlight. Sounds good. I'll definitely be going to watch that. Yes, please do. Also, I've got a couple of VHS reviews that I've watched. Went on to Netflix and had a look what's on there.

Because I can't get my American Netflix up anymore, so I'm having to look through what's on the English version. Yeah, I've got to stop doing that. They've not stopped mine yet I mean I don't have it What are you talking about? So I watched There's a film called Stargate

From 1994 I mean it's like It's good cheese It's good cheesy It's good cheesy sci-fi Good cheesy sci-fi About like a jip If you like all sort of

How do you explain it So like Egyptian pyramids With they find a gate A portal You know there was like Seven eight nine seasons Of a TV show Yeah but people don't

people who were... Stargate, it's G1 on something or other. Yeah, but I didn't touch the TV show, but the actual original film I found was really enjoyable. I put it on, my mates were like, yeah, this is the mummy. I was like, no, no, no. No, it's not, wait. It's not the mummy, you idiot.

We're going to another world, and then there's a really hot girl in it, and I couldn't remember, because I saw it years ago, but I re-watched it this week, and I thought it was interesting. So if you're looking for something fun and sci-fi... I might have to re-watch that, actually, because I know I just like that. Hit your Netflix, and check out Stargate. And the two other one on the Netflix is still on Netflix is 12 Angry Men.

I have never seen that. And do you know what? I look at it all the time and it's always on lists of greatest films ever made. And I just never have. It's 1957. So it's an oldie and it's actually in black and white. But again, once you start watching it,

you forget entirely. And I actually saw it. I saw the stage show and it was so good. I went and thought, oh, I'll watch the movie. And it's basically about, it's set in the downtown, rough area of New York in the 1940s. And it's the 12 jurors on a jury.

Oh, yeah. I've seen that. This young black guy, young black guy gets accused of murder, of murdering his, of stabbing his stepdad. And basically the whole film is the jurors trying to, and it's at the beginning of the film, all the jurors say this guy's guilt, this kid's guilty, he's just from the rough tide of town, he's black, like he's guilty. And then one juror goes, but what if he's not? Let's just take a moment and let's just see if he's not. What, if he's not?

I'm just saying, what if he's not? And then through the film, one by one, he can, they manage, they go through the evidence again and again. and then new things pop up and then by the end of the film like you don't know it could be the way and it's just seeing it's such a good film Is it all contained in the room?

It's entirely contained in the jurors room I like films like that There you go guys This is what we're saying about this show man We're teaching news A 12 Angry Men Here up your Netflix board tonight And it could be

It could have been made It's so relevant Like again with now with police And their attitudes towards people of colour and stuff It's so And people being prejudiced It's so It could have been made in 2016

But it's just 1950s things that making a murderer and stuff like that, you know, that's got people's attention. Yeah. These things are the originals, yeah. You know, these things can be. So, and it does make you think of, you know, when people, so they look up a witness's account saying, oh, I could see from my bedroom window, I saw the murder. And then they sort of, they just pick it apart. And then one person would be like, oh, but that woman, didn't you notice that she wears

glasses? Oh, wow. And like, you can just turn. So something that you think is solid evidence suddenly can just crumble away until, and then basically you just got to judge somebody on, you're just judging them on, you're just judging them on like what their skin coat is. 12 angry men. Check out on your Netflix.

Check out on your Netflix. Yeah. Lovely. I like that idea. Pause power. Pause breaking bad. Flip out, you know, tonight after you watch the level

on ITV at 9pm, then 12 angry men on Netflix. I think that's what I'm going to do. And chill. Don't forget your Netflix and chill. Yeah. Get to get some booty after. Just in case you guys,

because this is about Roan Chill. Just in case you guys are wanting to chill right now. I thought I'd put in a bit of a chill song. Um, just a bit of it. Hey, hey, all right. You leave me alone. since I don't have you by the skyliners It's better be good Joe

What is if anyone having a bit of a cuddle on a smooch to the radio right now We're going to give them two minutes 38 of smooch time There's two minutes 38 of their life Okay We've just seen the funniest Twitter picture That's a good one All right old man Sorry is that song finished

Oh my god I think that was well romantic Hashtag I will save you guys I will save you. And you can thank me if you just got lucky. Okay. Right.

So for the closing 10 minutes of the show, it's crazy how fast the show just win this, bye! I bought back cards against humanity. We started to play it last week, but we didn't quite get the amount of time I wanted to give it. So for anyone who hasn't played before,

it's fun. Yes, I'm going to give you guys a bunch of cards. I'm so exciting. I'm going to give you a whole, just load, whole lot of cards. I love your homemade cards. I know what each file.

I printed them and cut them out myself, DIY. She grafts me. You do. There we go. Jeremy. Graff. Okay, so we'll all play. I've got to get some white cards.

So, cards against humanities. You've got black cards and white cards. And the black cards are statements that I'm going to state out. Great exposure to them. State out. I'm going to state out. She's going to state them out. And then it's up to you guys to pick out of your selected white cards, the funniest answer.

And you can submit them to me. I think you've cut something off this one, because I'm sure artsies. All right. My cutting and sticking and sticking isn't quite. isn't quite, you know. Good effort though. Good effort. You should save all these cards each time, you know. Do you save them each time? Yeah, yeah, I do. Great. My God, I've got so many choices. I'm so excited.

Okay, right, so... Okay, right, the first question, the first statement is, what's there a ton of in heaven? What's, we gotta go? Oh. Here. There's me there, go.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So, what's there a ton of in heaven? Masturbation. Well, I really hope there is. What's there a ton of in heaven? Anil beads. I really hope it's not. What's there a ton of in heaven? Don't lie, Lucy. You love it. What's there a ton of in heaven?

The gays. Okay. Right. So, I'm thinking, um... Man, how many cards you give me? I think anal beads, I gave you loads, just I want to give you a big selection. I think anal beads wins that one. Thank you. Well done.

Pop them away. Right, so on to the card number two. Right. Well, that's a lot of all I can hear. Okay. Right, let's do it. Come on. I'm just picking one.

I'm just picking one. I'm finding a good one. I'm finding a good one. In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about... Oh. Boom. What did he think about? Oh my god

I've got so... No, mind, I liked Michael Jackson so, you know, let's... This is too harsh. Oh my God, no, actually, you've got to say that one as well. That's my choice, but you've got to say that one as well

because it's just fun. Okay, have you got one, Lucy? Have you got one for the team? I haven't got anything hilariously funny. I'm annoyed. Okay. Well, I've got... No one got me too, so...

Okay, alright, no, go out. So, in Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about getting naked and watching Nickelodeon. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, one from Lucy.

In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about nocturnal emissions. Poor effort. While watching Nickelodeon. Noel's number two attempt is, in Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about being a motherfucking sorcerer. Amazing. And mine, it might be a bit low below the belt, but in Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about being on fire. Oh, man. I had he thought about dying here.

Mr. Jackson, I want to point out, guys, I'm a big fan of Michael Jackson. This is Johannes' game. This is terrible. Rest of peace, Michael My rest of peace, RIP, Michael I'm not you bad I think I'm getting naked and watching

Nickelodeon That was fun That was good That was well good Okay So, right, let's have a look In LA County Jail Word is you can trade

200 cigarettes for I don't even know what that is Okay Oh, okay Which prison is this LA County Jail Word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for cuddling

Lucy says. You never know what type of cuddly. Bear in mind, I've heard that L.A. County Jail is full of black people. Okay, so in L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for surprise sex. Excellent. Or, in L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for white people. Yeah, right, white people is.

Brill. Okay, let's have a look. I'm just going to pull one straight out of the pack. Oh, I should have chose this one. All right. Yeah, go, go. Right. What gives me uncontrollable gas?

What, you personally? I don't know. It's just a statement. You've got to just go for it. Okay. That's a bit low, actually. Lucy says, Dying of dysentry.

That would definitely give you. I say, all you can eat shrimp for $4.99. Absolutely. Yeah, that was definitely doing. I don't know anything. Oh, here you go. Okay.

Here you go. German dungeon porn. Possibly? Maybe. Depending on when you're putting up your butt. Well, yeah. Okay, let's go in for the... Right.

What, I didn't even know who... What's this? Yes. Okay, this is a double one, so I'm going to give you guys some extra cards. I don't need any extra. Okay, well, just... I want some of...

Because it's a double statement, so I'm going to say, for my next trick I will pull blank out of blank so we've got to go for two so for my next trick I will pull blank out of blank so give me two

oh no I will pull oh okay this is really stupid do you know which order there is yeah I do right Noel says for my next trick

I will pull a salty surprise out of the clitorium mate if you can do that you got a talent guys let me just tell you that okay if you can do that you got a talent so for my next trick I will pull Barack Obama out of Robocop can you imagine I will say for my next trick I will pull teenage pregnancy out of guys who don't call

well they don't yes because if they don't call they don't deserve the booty thus there shall be no teenage pregnancy that's actually a political statement a loss. Okay, I'm going to give myself a couple more things because I'm running out. Oh, great.

Okay, so, um, next statement. War, what is it good for? What can you think? It's just so low. It's good.

I think it's good for sexting. Logistically, yeah. What would you guys say? Okay. War, what is it good for? It's good for the hustle. It's good for the hustle. It's good for the hustle.

man. And Lucy says, war, what is it good for? Flying sex snakes. You never know when they're right about. Is that a thing?

Is that a thing? Is that like a real thing? Is that like a real thing? And there are snakes that fly and have sex at the same time? Is that just like one of your dreams, loose? One of my dreams. I don't know.

Cirque de Saleh. Okay. What gets better with age? What would we say? What gets better with age? Um. I think. think getting drunk on mouthwash.

Can that happen? It's got a bit of alcohol and you have to have a... How much mouthwash would you have to drink to get drunk? This is actually not funny but true. Probably capable. Morgan Freeman's voice does get better with age. No, no. I'm Morgan Freeman.

I play God. This is also true but not very funny. Crippling debt. Oh, that's just... You just put reality back in the room, man. Reality back in the room. We're trying to have a bit of a scoop. There's a scapeism here, Knowlington.

Okay, I think that's the end of the show. There won't be escapism, because if they go to university and study film, they will leave university with crippling debt. So, hey kids, have fun. Right, thanks so much for listening to the show. We'll be back next week at 4pm, 4-26 for Back Rote and Chill. My last musical masterpiece, Noel.

It's called Bender by Bro Safari. Thank you, Lucy, you're coming back next week. Everyone will go do their homework. This is the best film show out there. It is. Says the old man. Come back next week, we'll see you them. All right, see you guys.