Back Side - 15: Pitch Side Almost ENDED Over This! Filthy Bedroom Talk & Declaring War on the Sea…

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

The lads reveal their HUGE argument, Lewis reveals too much talking about his bedroom antics & Reev returns with his hardest philosophical question yet...If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Right, what are we talking about tonight? You look like a skateboarder. I am a skateboarder. Watch this, Lou.

I did that again? You've never seen anyone do that? Lou, I have you down as a skateboarder straight on? You look like a skateboarder. I am a skateboarder. Watch this, Lou. Lewis, I actually... Do that again. You've never seen anyone do that? Lou, I have you down as a skateboarder straight on. You definitely had a skateboard. Oh, no, you had a longboard, didn't you? Or a pennyboard.

I have no idea. You didn't have any friends when you were on the boat? Yes, I had a pennyboard. Did you have an imaginary friend? No. Hmm. No imagination, actually.

That's probably why. I do, but they're current. I imagine you're all my friends. But you're not, are you? No, we're just colleagues. Do you know how... No,

I don't have an imagination. How about this? Watch out! I imagine many, many different ways that you die. I die, yeah.

Many ways. What's the best one? A bear eats him. Oh, damn. But while he's alive, he eats his insides while he's alive

and he's just screaming. He's just absolutely crying, screaming. And I'm there with two assault rifles and he's just screaming he's just absolutely crying screaming would you say he's telling the help and I'm there with two assault rifles and I'm just going

do you know like when Ethan was like we're just colleagues not friends are we colleagues or are we friends no you lot are actually my friends

which is weird but it's embarrassing well he wasn't listening last episode do you want to answer this question you're all colleagues

to me oh that's actually obvious to me actually no you've just bridged the gap now into friendship because you're getting

big time I don't like you having that cramping my peck there hear that don't put it on the set hear it no

ah Lewis I actually am oh my god I can't even cross that off I was tasked with something today wasn't I to bring you information

on Australia in World War 2 no we're not doing it now because they weren't in World War 2 that was never the question no no we didn't think about that

I thought they were. They never took part. Shit, man, really? Yeah. So everything that we suggested was wrong. Also, you idiot. We're going to look like fools. Yeah, but if you look at the comments,

they all agree with me about the E-Mu War. You said it was after the fucking war. It was. Was it E-Mu War? But I just had the wrong war. I don't know. Because that's what he said. Now he doesn't know, eh?

Where's research Reeve if you look at the ceiling it says gullible up there as well no two have you watched the Zac Efron documentary in the space

of the last episode no I don't watch documentaries on boring things you actually don't care about this show man I thought about this more and more this is the most like

Theo and Reeve thing to watch they watch a documentary on water I actually haven't watched it but I know what he's on about a documentary on water yeah because you already did the research you I know what he's on about. A documentary on water? Yeah, because you already did the research.

You've been looking at the papers. Do you want to know the difference between soft and hard water? One's ice, one's liquid. It's to do with the minerals they contain.

I said this earlier. This is such boring content. This might be worse than such boring content. We're not talking about the difference between soft and hard fucking water. You boring bastard. You could have a superpower. Which one would you have? The ability to detect soft and hard fucking water. You boring bastard.

If you could have a superpower, which one would you have? The ability to detect soft and hard water. Shut up. I was thinking about nipples for some reason. Probably. Nipple man. The man who had many nipples. Manipulate time.

Okay. I thought you were going to go with a weird one there, but that's fine. What if... I could do weird things with it. What would you do if you were invisible? Nipple... No, okay. I wouldn't really be,

I don't really want to be invisible. Oh my God, how cool would it seem You move forward in time and you move back in time depending on which one you're going.

Oh, you're going to say like your nipples like elongate and they can grab things. They're like sticky webs. No one going with flight then?

No. That's a boring one. That's already invented. I feel like I'd be scared. Right, how about this? Invent a new superpower when you're in the air

because you're the bravest no but when you're in the air and you're flying oh I can fly in the back of your mind you'll be like what happens if my superhero power runs out

and you're dead invent a new superpower that's never been invented um oh do you know what have you ever seen the film What Women Want with Mel Gibson

shock you I watched that as a kid yeah um rowdy reckless kid watcher kid watching it anyways uh in in that in the in the film i've recommended it's a good film actually in the film he gets a power where he can hear women's thoughts i've seen on tiktok and can you imagine you could hear everyone's thoughts? I would not want to hear that. Would you go insane?

I don't want to hear that. I just want to hear what he's said about me. Professor X. I just wouldn't... I'd rather be blissfully unaware than actually know what people think.

What's something you've thought about one of us today but you didn't say out loud? I don't really have any. Let's see. Give us a little insight. He doesn't have many thoughts. Oh, yeah, he doesn't have thoughts.

He doesn't have any power, by the way. Go on. Whatever you say that is an object whenever I'm around you you projectile vomit that up so if you're like

Dishwash Tiano that would kill you mine would be the ability to speak things into existence what like so I could say there's a lion this horse is going to win oh it wins will you? Yeah, it would. Mine would be the ability to speak things into existence.

What like? So I could say There's a lion! This horse is going to win. Oh, it wins. So you go straight to Ben. I'll actually tell you

a serious one. Lewis's willy falls off right now. It just falls off. Willy? Into your mouth. Right. I had one as a kid

that I really, and it's really practical and I think you might agree with this. You had a willy fall into your mouth as a kid? No, not that. You know, like three really practical and I think you might agree with this. You had a really fall into your mouth as a kid. No, not that.

You know, three powers, what wishes would you have? One of my wishes would to never have a blocked or runny nose. You know when you're ill and you've got a blocked nose

and you can't breathe? Oh yeah, ill. Out of the three things in the entire existence of the universe, your priority number one was fucking hell, I wish my nose

wasn't blocked or runny. Maybe I had a cold at the time. Play this out. Magic Genie's here, right? Magic Genie's here. You've just rubbed this like, Theo,

three wishes. Yeah, I could never be ill or injured. No, you have to pick one. That's two wishes. Surely that covers the runny nose. Yeah.

Surely no ill or injured. Technically a snot rocket is an injury how about always be healthy always be healthy yeah that would definitely be one that's a fair one

I'd wish for a million wishes you can't do that it's an interesting question actually you can't do that if you were always healthy it's illegal with the genie laws it actually turns you

into a lantern what else would you if you were always healthy would you appreciate having good health more or less no yeah

that is true it's like you need pain otherwise you might just kill yourself by accident yeah you can still feel pain no because I might be walking around with like

a severe heart problem but I can't feel it but no but that's not what he asked for he didn't ask to be numb from all pain if you wish to never be ill or hurt

then you wouldn't have a severe heart problem but if I was never in pain it's not the ability to not all the pain if you wish to never be ill or hurt then you wouldn't have a severe heart but if I was never pain if I could always be pain that's not it's not the ability to not feel pain

Lewis if you wish to always be healthy you jump in front of a bus what happens you're still going to die mate so you're indestructible no oh don't be so stupid

no no this is the important question if you wish to always be healthy you're not going to walk around with an underlying heart condition are you because you're healthy that's why you need pain

what you need pain you don't understand what I'm saying you don't understand what I'm? Because you're healthy. That's why you need pain. What? You need pain. You don't understand what I'm saying. You don't understand what I'm saying. No, you're being stupid. God, this is hard to watch.

Is he being stupid? He always is. He's being stupid. Why is he still holding a hammer? I'm not being stupid. Why am I being stupid? It's when he gets

annoying bits with the facts he'll start bashing. What age, here's one for you, what age do you wish you'd live to? What? bashing. What age, here's one for you, what age do you wish you'd live to? What?

Never mind. That was a risky early one. As in, you could wish to live to 200 but it's not going to be great. 85.

Ooh. You might get there anyway. No, no, I'd probably die at 85. Are you talking about you maintain a little bit of youthfulness past the point

of like 100? Yeah. How old am I when I'm 100? 70. How old am I when I'm 150? 110. That's fucking pointless. What the fuck is this?

I'd be dead anyway. 85. Sorry me off. I'll keep living. Are you crying? I want to be frozen. 101. I'm thinking about dying.

So you get a letter from the Queen. Yeah, we're king now and it's not as cool. So Lewis and Tom went to Qatar. Yes. That would be better for a pitch side pod though,

wouldn't it? Nah, we can use that here. This is like the out of the scene soft channel. A little bit real life shit. We obviously sent them there. Hey, do you know about, does Tom know about

where they were originally going? Neither of them do. Yeah, you were going to send us We were going to send you to Cote d'Ivoire Ivory Coast oh yeah but by the way

so these were given if you've seen the vlog spoiler but we sent them to Scotland via Norway because there was no direct flights

there was no direct flights it was not our fault we tried to get you the fastest John and it was really funny I can't believe you're still running with that idea

there was no direct flights it must have been bad weather. London to fucking Scotland. There's like 20 flights a day. By the way, on Gribble, you went to two countries. No, no, no. Also, failing that, London to Edinburgh by train is like, what, five hours? I didn't think of that.

You got to Scotland faster than that. You're welcome. We actually did it. No, we didn't. It took eight hours to get to Scotland. It took like eight hours from start to finish. By the way, these little buses. We got didn't. No, we didn't. How long did it take to fly to Norway? It took eight hours to get to Scotland. It took like eight hours from start to finish. By the way,

these little buses, these twats. We got up at 4am and we got to Scotland at 2.30. Oh, cry your eyes out. What they planned for us. We were travelling

for 24 hours. We didn't have guaranteed tickets. We would have had like, what was it, seven hours on the ground and had to go fly to Scotland.

That's what you were planning to do to us. You would have experienced Africa. We would have been there for six hours. You sent us. You would have experienced Africa. We would have been there for six hours. You sent us, you would have experienced the country

and got a taxi and then we'd go to Scotland. You sent us to a fucking airport. We would have had two days travel and seven hours on land. I might not even have had a ticket. We didn't leave the airport.

Also, it would have been absolutely perfect because at the time it was Egypt versus Ghana, which was Kudus versus Salah. Yeah, and Tom hated that. That's why we were sending you there. But yeah, you were going to,

that would have been, that would have been funny. You were acting like we put no thought into it. You put no thought into ours. We put plenty of thought into it. Sabotaging our fucking day. By the way, we put you on Qatar Airways.

Do you know the fucking resort we put you in was unreal. It wasn't that one. Oh, shut up. It wasn't. You are a great little swine. It was, it was.

Whoa, you had a hot tub. Did we have a great It wasn't It was Whoa You had a hot tub Did we have a hot tub No We didn't have a hot tub By the way No We paid extra for the hot tub You went

Oh rich man Do you know what else We paid for We paid extra For bedding Yeah I didn't sort that He sorted your bedding

You're a strangled Cameraman with cables as well Just so you know Kane nearly died Yeah because of you No because of you no because of you because you didn't give him any

fucking bedclothes yeah he froze to death I gave him bedclothes you bought us a fucking Airbnb with just mattresses it wasn't Airbnb

mate it was a hut I got flowers no you didn't no you fucking didn't there was flowers there the reason we got put in a nicer hut happy anniversary

because we'd shout out her little heart village on the video she swindled you there because I paid extra for flowers I said it was your anniversary yeah

we know that but the point still stands you nearly killed us from that that's crazy that was such a fun day we went bagpiping

you saw some great football we had a great day we actually had a great day yeah we did but hand on heart we were so fucking tired yeah we got up at 4am

there was no direct flight we flew to Norway do you know how far that flight is mate there was no direct flight no it's only a couple hours to Norway but then you've got

a flight to Scotland yeah which is another couple hours we couldn't get no no no it's only 4 hours on a plane don't act like 4 hours on a train

is not the same as getting 2 flights there was no train it is tiring four hours on a bike don't act like four hours like on a train or whatever it's not the same as getting two bikes there was no trains it is tiring you tell me it was severe weather I'm sorry you tell me how we were supposed

to get you there do you know how excited we were by the way we flew into Norway it was really funny and there was snow Tom snow everywhere

oh my god we're going to go see snow we're going to see a Norwegian I can't wait it was really funny do you like the fact that we got used to wear the hats

so then you had that sort of moment where you realised we're going to go straight in the fact that we got used to wear the hats so then you had that sort of moment where you realised. And then they went straight in the bin, shall we? We're wearing the hats in the bin

wasting money. How much? How much was that diversion to Norway? I'm telling you now, you fucking hate the environment. It was like 25 quid

to send you to Norway. It was so cheap. You're going with or without, yeah? It was so, it was so worth it. Oh, just like Taylor Swift's private jet was going

with or without her, is it? No, it's not. I don't think that's relevant. I think that's a bit different. Well, you still have the opportunity to punish us you hate the environment do you know what

I feel ungrateful but you'll have the opportunity to live down the line you went to two fucking countries we went to one oh I don't think going to Oslo airport counts as visiting

I've been to three of course it doesn't you can't you've got to see Norway no way in fact you I'm so jealous of you if you don't leave the airport

you've not visited that country. I'm so jealous. Here you are. We put you on a world tour. We didn't even leave... We were technically not even in Norway. You basically did the whole of Europe. We weren't even in Norway.

We hadn't gone through passport control. Yeah, that is true. No, the airport is still classed as Norway. You know what they say about Norway? The best part of it is the airport. Yeah, they do say that. No, it's not. The expensive Norway airport is.

Nah, they say... Yeah, because it's top quality stuff well then you shouldn't have thrown away your hat what

you can't sell the hat to get money well yeah you could have could sell myself I just think

you're really ungrateful and I'm sorry but Lewis told me and I believe him that that was the only way

we could get you to Scotland I looked for a solid 20 minutes not like LNER does trips to Edinburgh no they were off leave him that was the only way we could get you to Scott I looked for a solid 20 minutes yeah not like LNER does trips to Edinburgh

like every time no no no they were off there was no train there was strikes on do you know the best part about it is you know

is that you know when we were trolling Lewis and he was stressed and he was going to get fired yeah he hasn't put that in the vlog no he hasn't

I was going to say we can talk about this here because that can't go in the vlog because the way the vlog's cut together it's obviously it's shot at different times. We've got Elliot to film it. Being spoiled brats.

Ew. Reeve and Theo. Why? Because they have to go on a nice date out in Scotland. Oh, my life. I get paid really well. Oh, bloody hell. Don't know how they manage, you know.

No, but it wouldn't make sense cutting in me at home when we're trying to show us there at the same time. it wouldn't make sense cutting in me at home where we're trying to show us there at the same time yeah but you remember that time when you you got really scared that you

thought you're getting fired no I didn't get scared I was I was so what we say I was genuine I was extremely pissed off at the idea that you remember when you kept private

messaging me and fear being like no seriously you're actually okay or what yeah do you know what's worse I can bring up asking Kane Kane by the way everything he said to Kane he thought it was in private

we were there like reading it all oh no it goes without saying that Kane's probably going to show you but you keep making out like I was

shitting myself no I was really annoyed at the idea that you used it through your toys at your prom which I was more disappointed in you

because I thought you would have been better there it did not surprise me with the idea of Theo saying I was angry we did rattle you though oh no I was

that's good but I think I'm well am I right we did yeah we did in the end yeah you did you had a fantastic day out in two countries

and you rattled me I was still at my old job at the times and I was at work just getting loads messages from him being like nah

they've actually fucking lot I'm so angry I didn't know that and I was like I was like nah because you weren't like I'm so angry like he was I didn't know that and I was like I was like nah because you weren't replying in the chat

and then to begin with I was like fuck it I was like nah I was like nah just get a hold of them like Ben I was like I'm pretty sure

they wouldn't do that like it was more the fact literally there was a lot of logistics in that video and I was like that's a good moment

I was like if these have ruined it by little bean little babies I got Kane to message oh but actually you were the biggest babby so I think that goes without saying you did start crying

you big babby I got Kane to message Lewis saying yeah mate he's gone to bed he's not doing anything yeah you were like we need a nap because we're so tired

yeah god you actually believed it as well it's pathetic embarrassing we were at the top of an Edinburgh castle at that point you silly goose yeah remember when they went nap because we're so tired yeah god you actually believed it as well it's pathetic embarrassing we were at the top of an edinburgh castle at that point you silly goose yeah remember when they went at that morning though where you just went in the chat after they realized was like my favorite part yeah no

surely you believed it then yeah you definitely believe it no I I know I didn't think you it wasn't until later how bait is that no I didn't believe I thought you used to take the piss there it wasn't until later where you were like oh we're just going to go

get some hours of sleep because I know what you used to like with your fitness and tiredness and that sorry you were on about you last week going for sleep

over the England game or whatever it was you know what I mean I had a fucking massage that's not the same yeah he had a massage it's not the same he missed the England game or whatever it was you know what I mean on holiday it's not the same yeah he had a massage it's not the same he missed the England game

for a massage not the same so yeah I think that was actually quite good we'll do another one where one day we split into teams

and yous can where did you think you were going by the way when we sent you I knew we were going to Qatar oh fair enough I had no idea there was no other football on

yeah well we kind of sort of thought that we were Scotland because we looked at the live score in the morning and then we got baited anyway. Yeah.

We actually looked at the only games on that night was Scotland. Oh, maybe it's like a Norwegian needs to sort us a game. We're going to be the fucking thing.

You should have looked, man. You should have just let it. We did vlog. Yeah. I said you shouldn't have looked. Yeah. I just, there was literally

no other games on. Kane said at the start of the day, where do you guys think you're going? So we were like, oh, Scotland, there's football on. And then we actually went to going so we were like oh Scotland there's football on and then we actually went to Norway

like there's no way the fact that you sent us from Norway to Scotland is mad you know it's great content but the fact when we came up

with the idea it was like this is fucking brilliant it's incredible content for 10 seconds of content for five and a half hours of our life

but that was worth it that's why it's funny by the way can I just say we wouldn't have reacted the same way you did by the way this wasn't straight to Scotland

this wasn't like I can tell you I wouldn't have at actual level though it was actually shit yeah I know not even like on content

that's like that's all bullshit too right yeah and there's going to be more of that coming down what do you mean too right we sent you to fucking Qatar.

What were we even up to you? You have to remember your job is flying to... I hate the food. You have to remember your job is flying to a football match. You know what I mean? We didn't eat that.

No, no, no. I'm not talking to you anyway. You haven't said anything bad. He's just gone to fucking right. Yeah. Oh, sorry we've given you a job. I got paid to fly to Norway

and then Edinburgh and then I had to have a really fun day out that was all booked for me. Yeah, that is true. You put it in perspective. And you killed a fucking tree over it. Many trees, actually.

Oh, sure though. Wait until Brett watches that video, honestly. I'll accept it's annoying. I'll accept you're tired. I'll accept blah, blah, blah. But you just had a lovely day out and you got paid for it.

By the way, the barbecue didn't even work. Yeah, he couldn't light a barbecue, mate. It didn't rain. Do you know why? No, no, no. When he's lighting the barbecue. Do you know why? I've only seen the first one. Do you know why it didn't light? It was the other side of a match. Do you know why? It wasn't even work. Yeah, he couldn't light a barbecue, mate. It didn't rain. Do you know why? No, no, no. When he's lighting the barbecue.

Do you know why? I've only seen the first one. He's the other side of a match. Do you know why? It wasn't just raining. It was a fucking hurricane. The Air Force wind as well. The Air Force wind.

Can I tell you where we were going to send you? Because we were... There weren't any games on, so... No, no, no. You were going to go on different dates. It was going to be

the Prague Derby. Yeah, we tried to send you to Prague. I was trying that. Couldn't get your tickets. Couldn't do it. There was a lot of things we were looking at. Mate, I tried to send you to Prague. I was trying that. Couldn't get your tickets. Couldn't do it. There was a lot of things we were looking

at. I know Petr Cech, I could have got tickets. Nah, it just wasn't working and then we realised it was only Scotland that was on

and this was the only way to make Scotland funny. And what was funny was there was the Hibs. Yeah, that was the worst part of the day.

We just finished bagpiping and we went fucking hell, are we watching Hearts vs Hibs. This is going to be unreal. And then just like driving 45 minutes to the middle of nowhere, man. I think no matter what scenario I'm in,

I think I'd enjoy that. It's fun. You're in the airport. The airport's fun. I don't think it was that bad. I don't go to the airport often. By the way, we were on that flight

longer than you were. We flew for longer than you did. No, it wasn't about that. Two flights for like one day. We were there for like a day. No, it's completely different though. We spent more time flying than we did fucking filming. And we didn't moan.

That's completely different though. It is completely different. No. It was like a day and a half we were there. It wasn't a lot. You actually saw the place you went to though. We didn't that much. You know what we should have done?

We should have sent them back to Norway and then back back to london i was saying i was saying we were very worried that was what was going to happen i was saying in a future video like say they get a nice like hot one or expensive we send them to like italy and then send them back to scotland i don't get what you're doing now because you're pretending like we don't have the power to send you places no no you got blind back to Scotland once

okay it was a one off funny blah blah blah you go back to Scotland again you're forever now on whenever you go somewhere on a video you think we might end up in Scotland it's just going to become a thing

where we keep saying it to Scotland yeah but the difference is we won't care one bit if you do it to us you can't do anything bad to us we can did you see the comments

on the Champions League one like oh facts ain't for you when we go to the comments on the Champions League one like oh fuck St. Phil and Reid going to the expensive one the Champions League vlog yeah that's obviously come out before this one

so this one is going to bang I think this one is going to be like people are going to gasp by it but you've just left yourself open I don't think you could do anything that would

break our spirit no we should switch the parents that's why yeah that would be good what parents do we do I think it won't matter who no it doesn't matter everyone gets it would be funny I don't think it would matter what are you looking at me for I think that'll be good what parents do we do I think it won't matter who nah it doesn't matter everyone gets

it would be funny I don't think it'll matter what are you looking at me for I think that could be hilarious no we should just draw it or I think or I think we should send them two together

yeah sure I feel like I feel like oh mate yeah you actually do yeah yeah yeah I feel like we will just have like a lovely time

and then you two are just gonna argue yeah you'll be all fucking like bumming each other and like I'm gonna have to sit with this fucking lunatic I don't wanna be that guy to blow my own trumpet all the time. It's going to be so wholesome and then you two are just going to argue. Yeah, you'll be all fucking bumming each other. I'm going to have to sit with this fucking lulatic who will be stressed

I don't want to be that guy to blow my own trumpet but I think that's just me as a parent. Yeah. He's going to be stressed about everything. He's going to have a good time with me.

He's said he's going to have a good time with me. We have a good time. So maybe you'll be fine. They'd argue because Luis would be like me and you we'd cut to it

and be like and then just cut to it. Fucking hell, Luis I don't want to do it. What are you going to fucking do it, man? It's part of content. Just arguing. I know what I'd have to do to get through that, you know.

I'd just have to drink. Yeah. It's the only way to get through this, though. Well, that's way too. No, but then, I just think I'd do every vlog. The next one, yeah, we should definitely, I think we should do U2 and then us.

Yeah, let's do that. And then the next one after that, we'll do U2, me, Pia. We have to do like America or Miami anyway I have got Room Tom O' One

for you today oh go on then sing Room Tom O' One I can't remember what the jingle was there wasn't one but you have to be aggressive Room Tom O' One

you're really not aggressive that was kind of like right so okay right I was saving the aggression for what's about to happen Tomo won! You're really not aggressive. That was kind of like... Right, so... Okay, right. These are pretty... I was saving the aggression for what's about to happen. Are you aggressive in bed? You strike me as a soft lover.

No, I don't think he does. I think he's a dirty little dog. What are you like? Why are we talking about this? Why would I fucking ever say that on camera? I am. I'm getting a boner. Right.

First one. I've got three do you know you can get pink eye from cum how do you know that have you had pink eye from cum yes wait so when you

wait your own cum when you've come in with pink eye on one of the occasions has that been from yeah fart wait wait

wait hang on hang on rewind I'm joking you've cummed in your eye and got pink eye I've cummed in I've never had but I've joking. You've come to New York and got pink eye. I've come to New York and I've never had

but I've accidentally reached the high in my life. Like projectile. My question to you is how does that even end up in your eye when you have

screen protect? No, I'm not saying it's wet in my eye. It's not as a fact in life. Anyway, I've got three. And then what will you do?

You all have to decide what goes in. Oh, where am I? Where am I? Oh. You do that, don't you? Come on. Right. Number one is...

Charlie, I'm coming! I'm coming! I even got a laugh from Dom, you know. That's what he knows. If you're about to come, do you like warn your significant other? You're like, oh, there's about to go off again. Oh, man, there's a battle to go off. Who is about to go off? I whisper in Meg's ear and I go, are you ready? And then I go, good night.

Is that what Australians do? What the fuck? No, I just go, good night. Oh, fuck, sorry. I'm about to burst. Yeah, this shit I'm bursting come on Theo what are you doing

I say sorry sorry for what's about to happen I'm so sorry that's good man sorry well yeah you can't

if it's 10 seconds you obviously got to apologise oh that's what you were apologising for. Oh, shit. Fair enough. Yeah.

Anyway. She's going, is it in yet? And you're like, oh, fuck, sorry. This shit must be. Wait, sorry for what? You haven't even fucking started.

Have you ever faked? Like, coming, just know how that'd be hard. How the fuck do you manage that? I have. I've only done it once, years ago. Just, yeah,

you just pretend you have. Oh! Oh! Yeah once years ago. Just, yeah, you just pretend you have. Oh! Oh! Yeah. Wait, so Tom, how did you fake it? Reenact it? Just that. Go on then.

No, do it. Go on. Just help. Fuck it, yeah. Wait, so what's your noise? Oh, God. No, it's, I'll just, I'll just say, are you ready? Oh, girl!

I'll go, are you ready? Ready on. Wait, Lewis, say it. Do I? Ready on, eh? ready no it's Edge that's DX yeah why are you grabbing the chest really tight why is your jeans pointing up

wait Lewis really quickly though do you actually say to your other half like I'm about to cum I'll never talk about something so crude and personal

you brought it up you literally brought it up I asked you you asked if we'd ever cummed in our own eye yeah yeah anyway Lewis talking about sex

I can't even imagine like your can I get this done semi shrimp posture just like oh hi Danny Aaron's posture anyway what the fuck the first thing I can't even imagine your semi-shrimp posture. Oh, hi. Danny Aaron's posture.

Anyway, the first thing I want to put into room, Tom, I want is smelly people. Do you know why? There's no fucking... Mate, you're in it two weeks in a row. Water's free. There's no fucking excuse for stinking the gaffer. Whoa, read the room here, Tom. Water's not free for everyone. Do you think smelly people don't realise they smell? Yeah,'t some don't i think some are immune to your own bo yeah that

is true and it's and it's yeah guys that's rich mr i come on pitch side in a vest after working out when have I ever done that I've never I've never smelt him

on pitch side fuck what do I smell like Reeves smelling brilliant lately thank you damn it I can smell you

in the studio no one here has BO no one I'd fucking tell you if you stole I was only joking you didn't have to take a sip

I'd fucking tell you if you stole you know like when you're like in the queue or something for. You didn't have to take a sip. I'd fucking tell you if you're stung. You know when you're in the queue or something for something and you can just smell BO? When someone gets on the train or something and you stink,

I want to fucking punch their head in. If they've just finished a 12-hour shift at the hospital, they just want to go home. It takes me at least two days before I start smelling because I wash properly and I put deodorant on.

It shouldn't take... You're not doing a 12-hour shift at the NHS. I feel very self-conscious. I've done 12-hour shifts at jobs that make you sweat and I don't smell at the end of it. You must be like noon or something. When I'd laboured and stuff and was on building sites, it's...

Anyway, that's third, so I'm not that bothered because I do understand some people just have BO, they can't help it, whatever, but you stink. Next up, moaning Uber drivers. And I had this the other week, right? You're in your car, right? I've asked, I've requested to go from here to there. You've accepted it, accepted the money.

Then I get in and go, God, this is a bit far. This is, oh, I'm not really going to get much for this. Should I get out then? Why are you fucking accepting it then moaning wait that actually happened yes

it happened twice really I've been in them where they're like where are you going I'm like surely you know where my and then oh I don't know

if I want to go all the way over there you fucking accepted it or they'll go I had one the other day it was a woman I've never had a woman Uber driver by the way

which I thought was wow he doesn't know oh yeah he only gets he gets comfort yeah yeah um well yeah so then

she picked me up and she was like oh I don't think I've got enough electric to get you to where you're going and I went so I

oh charger and I went why did you accept it and she went oh I didn't realise where it was I was like so should I get out then

she was like oh no we'll just see and I went we'll just see and then if you break like, should I get out then? She was like, oh no, we'll just see. And I went, we'll just see, and then if you break down, I'll just get out. So what happened? Fucking don't,

we got there. Don't fucking, just really, really grinds my gears. Anyway. There are good Uber drivers. I had an Uber driver pick us up once

from Cardiff. No, 99.9% of Uber drivers are brilliant. Took us to Swansea. What is that story? Took us to Swansea. And then, do you know brilliant took us to Swansea what is that story took us to Swansea and then do you know

he went after Swansea at 3am to London wow yeah because he said oh what you doing here he goes oh it's the AJ fight so I just drove from

London to Cardiff done a few jobs and drove home wow yeah pretty good don't know how it's relevant but it's quite cool

anyways moving on anyway wow and then third I think this is I think I'm between this one and the Uber drivers

people who leave rubbish and then like say oh the cleaners will do it because it's their job

oh I'd be a hypocrite called that I don't do that you literally do that you leave it in the studio

for fucking me I picked up all your shit this morning all these bottle wrappers that ain't that you literally do that you leave it in the studio for fucking me I picked up all your shit this morning all these bottle wrappers that ain't me you literally sit sometimes and each time someone sits there

and throws rubbish behind the cameras on a stream like I'm picking that up later who? Theo you do leave stuff sometimes I cleaned all my stuff

the other day oh really what about the spilled lager that you said reminded me to go clean up and then I reminded you to clean up and then after

having to fix a whole studio on a stream I went back and I was like brilliant as they're like but that wasn't left for the cleaners that was left for you

yeah it's different okay my point is it's like you know if you go to like a food hall or whatever and then you eat and then people just leave

all their shit just go to the bin and put it in that's what I mean put it in the bin and the tray on the side were you fucking born in a barn or what

it's really annoying as well Jesus was born in a barn that's it's put it in the bin and the tray on the side were you fucking born in a barn or what it's really annoying as well Jesus was born in a barn it's just it's an expression were you born in a barn like when you're the one cleaned up as well

that's so annoying what the fuck would you know you double barrelled posh twat don't you start your Tory anyway I was saying

yeah it seems just cappers like that and people are supposed to bring their trays back fucking hell no I put my stuff in there sorry you asked me to do an angry segment and then when I get angry I was saying, yeah, it seems just coffers like that and people are supposed to bring their trees back. Fucking hell. No, I put my stuff in the... Sorry, you asked me to do an angry segment

and then when I get angry, you fucking go like... I put my stuff in the bin, except... Hey! Hit him. Wake up the neighbours. Hit him with the hammer.

Except when I chuck it on the floor in front of you and I say, pick it up, son. That is not true. You leave a lot of shit on the pitch side. You do.

That's his job. I actually prefer... I prefer leaving it for you to clean up then the actual his job. I actually prefer leaving it for you to clean up then the actual cleaners. I think I'm going to go I think my vote is the Uber drivers.

They're in control of choosing the thing as well aren't they? I'm moaning Uber drivers. People leaving rubbish about. Why do you look at I don't do that.

No it is mad. I'll leave like my I left my coffee I left my coffee mug on the table this morning. I bet when I go back in the room it's gone. It's like fairies. What do you mean you don't do that. No, it is mad. I'll leave like my, I left my coffee, I left my coffee mug on the table this morning. I bet when I go back in the room, it's gone. It's like fairies.

What do you mean you don't do that? What about this wrapper right behind you? Before you left a sandwich box behind there in this actual set, which I cleaned up. You're chatting shit. But that's not,

that's not through, that's just me being, what's the word? That's me being, rude. No. Forgetful. Yes, it's forgetful.

I'm not doing it on purpose. I forget to leave my tray on the table. No, no. It's not when people stand up and go, oh, fuck it, the cleaners all did... That's what they're there for. That's what I mean. Truthful time.

Not just leaving rapidly. Truthful time. Now, pure truth. Look at me in the eye. Pure truth. That day where you spilled the beer and you walked off and I reminded you before you left,

did you forget on the way to the lift or did you think nah it'll be alright I said nah I think I said to you I ain't doing that now

no you didn't no you definitely didn't how did you clean up did he say that did I I said you never cleaned that up oh I thought I said

did you get on your hands and knees and clean it up yes I had to go get tissues by the way after i already had i had already stayed late fixing lights in the studio so the stream finished like the stream finished like what at 10 o'clock i had to go into the new studio fix an entire studio fix all the line rigging come back you know what you mo, but you got an all-expenses-paid trip to Qatar. Yeah, that is true.

You should be allowed to moan. And Guernsey. And I actually got back at quite a reasonable time, so I got a nice sleep because I didn't have to clean that up. With each other? No, man. I never mentioned it to you. It was just quite an opportune time.

No, but you bring it up now, so you have mentioned it. Yeah. She's obviously been... What else do we do that you hate? Right, what are we voting in then? Lewis is going to bitch about us to our faces. Come on, guys. What are we going to vote in right what are we voting in then Lewis is going to bitch about us to our faces

what are we going to vote in what are we going to vote in I'll go Uber drivers the morning Uber drivers yeah done

okay carry on things you do that I hate oh like you know my coffee cup on the table earlier I think

can I guess go on guess it might inspire me because nothing shoots out I don't think... I don't hate anything. Maybe when I purposely

just refuse to do things out of spite, but I do then do them. Like High Rocks. I make things... I make your life harder on purpose. Like High Rocks.

His will be... He's always late. Yeah. My time's precious. Oh, and ours isn't. No. Then Reeve. I don't think Reeve

would do anything that would really... Theo's very talented yeah as I should be big time he's very but it's not too no it's not my fault

no no no when I'm late I do try like I'm literally just like yeah Theo will help me with like lots of

Norton stuff or travel the furthest every time and I'm always there before you but that's why you're on time no

that doesn't make any sense by the way that's what annoys me time. No, that doesn't make any sense. By the way, that's what annoys me. The lateness not so much. We're making an excuse to just hold your hands up and say it.

Because there's zero excuses in the world. I never make an excuse. You do. You just did. No, my point about Tom being late is that if you live

further away, that's such bullshit. No, this is so true. I live 10 minutes away. I'm here early. The further away you live The more likely you are

To be on time That doesn't make any sense Are you fucking mental You make the same journey No Every time Don't get angry That's a well known thing

There's no excuse For you to be like There's a well known thing There's no excuse For you to be like You live 15 minutes away There is sometimes Shit comes up

You get stuck in the same traffic On the same road Every time Set off earlier set off earlier set off earlier no because that traffic is not normally there it's only when there's a crash

it is because they keep being late shhh it's only because there's a crash it's right because when I had that stint of I kept being late I then started getting an earlier train

and just getting here earlier sometimes you have to no but my point is take yourself out of the room take yourself out of the room look at it objectively the point is the further you're away

from something you always leave more, the further you're away from something, you always leave more time the further you are away. But things are more likely to go wrong if you're longer away because there's more time for things to go wrong. So you leave more time.

You have zero excuses for this. You're an idiot, mate. Sometimes life happens and people are late. Just come in and say it. I understand that, but I'll go, fuck, sorry,

my train's been delayed. Really sorry, I'm late. I do say sorry. I bring in gifts. No, you go i literally said does anyone want anything from the coffee shop wow yeah this is crazy this morning theo was first in the studio bragged about it in the chat and then somehow was last in the studio when it actually came to record it's because reeve said i'm going up now i said

i'll be two seconds because i had to send off a document a not a document a video to shore for deadline it's your fault then. Sorry, but how is that my fault for going That's why, because I was literally editing the audio which you saw me doing. Do you struggle to take responsibility for things? I was one minute late because I had to send off something for a deadline

and we still finished fine. You weren't one minute late. I don't think it was one minute. It wasn't one minute late. It was about six. Fucking grow up. Sorry. in the same building yeah you'd be like I had to send

this off to the deadline it was my fault but what about when you constantly moan and blame the traffic the same traffic

that only ever happens once in a blue moon that traffic no it's every single evening game for the premier league

fixtures no if it's an evening thing you've got a cop even it's never usually like

basically you know the slip road I'm talking about what are you looking at me for you know the road I'm talking about for the Premier League fixtures. No. If it's an even thing. You've got a cob. It's never usually like this. You know that slip road. You know the slip road I'm talking about. What are you looking at me for? Because you know the road I'm talking about. Okay. When it rains, it floods. So surely if you look out the window.

So leave earlier. So surely you look out the window. The slip road I have to come off. When it rains, it floods because they always have cones and shit out of the way. Or line bike. Or line bike. Or get the tube.

Line bike, yeah. Good point, line bike or line bike or get the tube line bike yeah good point line bike yeah or get the buzz no I don't think there's anything that annoys me too much about yours I'd love to think of one for you but you're just like

oh I'm really nice maybe it annoys you how sorry that's not a detrimental point let me hit you are you like a secret maybe like be more controversial or something

no no no replay is an essential role do more just have an opinion yeah I'm a mediator you don't sit on the fence that's what my role is

if Reeve if Reeve was equally as mental as all of you it would be too much chaos it would be it would be I'm sorry but that is true

and you'll come to realise that in years gone past no no I know that I know that is true. And you'll come to realise that in years gone past. No, no, I know that. I know that. That's an essential piece. Fucking hell. If you look at every successful sort of... Absolutely.

It has that. There's always a plant potting everywhere. That's really mean. Right, shall we talk some philosophy? Thanks, man. I appreciate that. Right, there's a couple... Self-driving cars, alternate naming, or child politicians?

Which ones do you recommend? All of them are pretty all right. Child politicians. I'll go child politicians. My heart smells of sweet corn. All right, here's a question. Does sweet corn have a smell? No, it's more of a thought-provoking question here.

Child politicians, would the world be more peaceful if kids were in charge? No, it would be absolute chaos. Or if they had more important roles? It'd be chaos. No, no, let's think about this. Let's not jump to conclusions. I'm going to press this button. Don. It would be absolute chaos. Or if they had more important roles. It'd be chaos. No, no. Let's think about this. Let's not jump to conclusions. Don't be so narrow-minded.

Let's break this down. Open the question up. How old do we think it is? Don't press the red nuke button. No. I'm not giving them actual positions of power but contributing to conversations

where potentially their innocence and purity might help the situation. How old's the kid? Don't know. Maybe five, six. Oh.

Do they have a semi-understanding of the world? How are you going to let a five-year-old do the economy? No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about situations where

right and wrong is important. Give us one. Would the world be more peaceful? Not would the world be a better economy? I think they would be more peaceful

because I think it would turn to shit. Have you seen how aggressive toddlers are oh yeah i don't fucking attack you on i'll know toddlers the good a toddler could just randomly smack another i'm talking about you know early late primary school so like six seven eight they have a semi understanding of what's right and wrong but also they've not been poisoned by reality I understand what you're saying

because kids are like very pure and that they would always choose like the the so-called nice option but to be a politician

sometimes not a politician that was just the headline I created you'd probably have one kid that would rule them all no child is born a racist

or a homophobe correct yeah so I don't know how the hell. You're open, hey, this is more open. I know, I did like. It's illegal.

Yeah, so that's what my point is. It's like, what could they do as a difference to them? I don't see how they'd be. Do you know what I mean? I understand they would. I'm trying to say the choices would be based more on like vibes. Yeah. It would be vibes FC.

Vibes FC. I think that is a crazy idea I do agree fair enough mate that was the question if you like if we're talking

about Zero Dark 30 and in that room we had like like so they were watching it live and in the room the toddler's like yeah

why do you always default back to that yeah it's always Zero Dark 30 special ops event I was thinking about Sfarming Simulator last night

Sfarming Sfarming yeah as soon as that onefarming. Sfarming, yeah. As soon as that one went down like a fucking lead balloon, I'd do self-driving cars. Self-driving cars are becoming a regular occurrence, but they are not perfect.

If a self-driving car had to choose between killing a pedestrian or crashing the car and killing the occupant, what should it do? It doesn't choose between either. If.

Fucking hell, man. How many times are we going to do one of these and you don't understand it's a hypothetical question a robot doesn't think for itself it can't shoot

no it does this is the 50-50 I'm talking about automated cars have the choice between killing the pedestrian or do whatever it's programmed to do

oh my god so what should we program it to do well it would probably just break because it sees an obstacle oh my god I'm so sorry

for everyone listening and watching this no he has a point he has a point watching this. No, he has a point, man. He has a point. That's a valid point. He has a point. Reeve isn't asking what would actually happen

or what... This is not my audition for Elon Musk. It's a hypothetical what. If these are the two options, what should we do? Help him. This is what would happen

if his dilemma raised the guy. I'm on this road here and there's a pedestrian there. If the driver would die, the car would break. So there's a pedestrian there. I'm on the road here and there's a pedestrian there the driver would die the car would break so there's a pedestrian there I'm on the road here why can't we just turn there

but then you're dead that's the alternative but that's what would happen the car would always try to not hit the person so you're suggesting that it should kill the occupant then

yeah why would I how fast are we going here why am I doesn't make a difference doesn't make a difference self automated driving cars have the choice between killing pedestrian or killing occupant which one should it do reeve i tell you why because the car by missing the the pedestrian

right yep it doesn't know that it's killing the person in the process all it all the car thinks is i've avoided this it's a tree okay it thinks it's a tree so i don't know if i can do this segment anymore with these first you're not thinking big picture. You're thinking too black and white. You have to think about real world implications. You're thinking inside the box whereas we're thinking of how figurative questions.

They aren't real. They are moral dilemmas. No, they could be real. That could be real. It's a moral dilemma. That could be real. Publicly speaking, does ChatGBT have a soul?

That isn't what the question is. That's not. That doesn't count. That's next week's one. That's an opinion based question. Okay's not I mean that's next week's one that's an opinion based okay but

but you're I mean I get the points you're making because it isn't technically the driver's responsibility

isn't it yeah it's pretty simple but the base of the question is being is very simple you're either purposely being thick

or you are just I'm just putting it in a real world situation I would I would say the occupant should die. Yeah, I would agree with that. You have no choice there.

So you buy a car that will kill you? No, no, no, no, no. You have no choice. When you're driving, it's your responsibility to make sure the car isn't dangerous. So you're driving... Therefore, a car should, in theory,

take preference of not killing somebody innocent, but the person that's in control of the vehicle. I don't like the idea of self-driving cars. You're driving a car. This was an

interesting forward thinking question. You're driving a car that has programming in it to kill you. No. No.

No. Yeah. No. Yeah. In that situation it's programmed to avoid killing others. In that situation

it's looking at it. No. It can identify what a person is. In that situation because it already does that on your screen anyways when what a person is in that situation because it already does that on your screen anyways when you look

yeah so on that situation there must be some coding in this car which says in this scenario I will kill the guy in the car

so you can't no it's the opposite it said I will save this person's life it just implies that the value of innocent bystanders

or pedestrians are worth more than and also they know that the chances are the car's so safe that you're probably going to survive in the car and I should think

like this is my master it's mental isn't it how they take it stop trying to stop trying to find loopholes and dive early yeah

one person dies another person dies okay which one I'm seeing there's a so this is like murderous to even have such a thing

like this where humans programmed a car to decide... All right, Blake, give us an answer then. It's killing. I gave one. I said it should be the driver's responsibility.

So the occupant should be the one that, in theory, is the one that dies. I think whoever the human is who programmed it... That's what you said. As a practical answer. ...needs to come before us. He didn't say that, was I? No, he's still waffling on. Don't look at me as whatever he's saying.

He's still waffling on lots of Richard's programs. No, you had to go at me as well. I said a practical answer. You had to go at me. He said a practical answer. No, I agree with you. And you go, oh, Jesus Christ. You were trying to find lo his way around about... Don't look at me as whatever he's saying. He's still waffling on like Richard Kroger. No, you had to go at me as well. I said a practical answer. You had to go at me. He said a practical answer. No, I agree with you. And you go, oh, Jesus Christ. You were trying to find loopholes in the question.

These are questions that are without loopholes, guys. You have to pick the picture. You just have to answer them accordingly. It's a simple question. You have to pick the picture. It's like saying, would you rather eat a chocolate biscuit or a plain biscuit?

And you go, but where's the biscuit come from? Yeah, what is it from where was the biscuit made what branded biscuit is it does it have sugar on it it's it's relevant

if that was relevant I'd have said it in the question it is relevant to me because it's my choice if you've got two biscuits here and you don't tell me who is it

is it just a basic biscuit or is it a fancy brand it's not the same is it one of those that comes in the metal tins that your gran has like there's different biscuits and no biscuit has ever been

in one of them tins it's full of sewing equipment to choose between a digestive and chocolate digestive or killing an innocent man or killing an innocent pedestrian it's the man inside innocent though

because you are driving a car this is my whole point you're asking stupid questions that's not stupid he's bought a car with murderous intent let's avoid this car question because obviously

it's not going very well you're blinded by anger I've got another one I'll sell the car we're not doing a fact then no we are yeah we'll just keep keep rolling

you said you wanted to do a longer episode this is more of a conversation starter than actual info but I think you'll actually really enjoy this one rock on my guy

what do you think the end goal of humanity is obviously you know biologically it's like reproduce perpetuate the species but what do you think what are we really here for lewis what's the meaning of life essentially i have the answer i've got no idea there isn't one we are simply here just like an ant doing what is programmed inside and then repeating the cycle until we eventually arrive. You don't think there's actually

something that we're supposed to be doing? No. I think that's us putting importance on ourselves when in reality we're just clever apes. Damn, that's crazy.

We're worthless. No, I agree, but I'm also just interested to see what you guys think. Yeah, I think... I think we're really clever apes. I think the end goal is to become... Multiplanetary.

Yeah. Eternal. That's not the universe's goal for us. That's our own goal put upon ourselves. I know, that's what the question is. What do you think the goal of humanity is? Yeah, but the goal of humanity is not necessarily the goal that we've set upon ourselves.

What the fuck do you think humanity is? There might have been a goal that was put on us by aliens who accelerated our evolution. Oh, fuck, here we go. For example, Reeve. No, this is it. I'm being very philosophical here. Okay.

Spell it. Don't fucking shut your mouth. I was all about him, by the way, not you. So, for example. Yeah. As I was saying. Don't. He was the one that picked your thing.

You judged me as well. You probably looked down on me as well. I'll fucking judge you, you idiot. So when you ask someone the meaning of life, right? Yeah. What you're asking there is, is there a meaning given us by a higher power? No, he did not. Is there a meaning given us by a spiritual meaning of why we're alive?

It's completely different. It's completely different. That isn't what he asked. What we think we're here for. The question we've given ourselves. Why do we think we're here? We give ourselves purpose. No one else gives us purpose.

Nothing else out there gives us purpose. We're the only ones that give us purpose. Correct, yeah. You haven't answered. Yeah. Well, you didn't answer. That's why I agree with Lewis by saying we're actually worth this.

There's nothing... We have no purpose apart from the purpose that we give ourselves. Yeah, but I think that too. I'm just saying, where do you think... What's humanity's

final destination? I think it's this, right? Have you ever seen um have you ever seen that alien film where matrix um it's like from the alien fans prometheus oh okay where essentially it was like these aliens are created like other aliens would expect we spoke about this so what if we were, not our own purpose, but we had a purpose to something else?

Right. How are you thinking? Like another alien. Well, like this, right? So let's say a rat. We've got a rat. Okay. What's a rat's purpose?

No, hear me out. I'm going somewhere with this. No, I'm laughing at him. What is a rat's purpose? No, hear me out. I'm going somewhere with this. No, I'm laughing at him. What is a rat's purpose in life? What is it? To eat cheese. Stop.

What is a rat's purpose in life? No, I don't know. There's no purpose, right? Yeah, I don't know. But,

now this is where it gets interesting. You take a rat, you put it in a man-made maze, right? That rat's purpose is now to find the cheese. Rats don't eat cheese.

Isn't it mice that eat it? Whatever. Fine. The rat's purpose is now to get out the maze. No. You've given that... No, you're wrong. It's to...

To escape. No, it's to become head chef of a five-star restaurant in Paris. You've now given purpose to that rat. So we are the ones that gave purpose to that rat a rat's purpose is to find food and reproduce yeah but that's what we

this is exactly what I said I was trying to say you know what guys maybe we can think bigger than fucking just you know sticking our willies

and things and making babies where are we going as a society have you just ignored everything I've just said yeah it's better to do we've given purpose

to another life you are ridiculously ridiculously ridiculously dead listen to what I'm saying here don't just laugh if fucking Gandhi said what I said

you'd listen but he wouldn't say that first of all because he's dead and he's not an idiot but what I've said we gave purpose to that rat what if someone else

has given purpose to us that we don't know about because let me figure this one out for you this rat could be stuck in, lad. This rat could be stuck in the maze, right? This rat could be

stuck in the maze. In the rat race, yeah. When it has sex and it gives birth to another rat, what is that rat? That new baby rat is born into the maze.

Okay? What are you on about? You are describing Maze Runner. That rat's purpose is solely to get out of the maze. Oh, mate, you're not as deep

as you think you are. Where are you going with this? No, it's because maybe we... Oh, I've got it. That maze rat that got born's purpose is to get out of the way. It's a different purpose for his life. I'm not saying a rat got born outside that way.

No, he's onto it. That's completely true. You're just so dim and uneducated that you can't figure it out. That's it. Yeah, you've done, mate. No, so essentially, right, our aim is we have to keep evolving,

keep getting technological. I just don't know if this is going to go down the route of aliens or fucking horses with foreheads. E-news. Do all horses not have foreheads?

Do you have one that's above their eyes? What? You're telling me that horses don't have a forehead they do actually with four heads

I thought you said he's going to talk about horses with four heads I was like well of course they have a forehead four heads the number four

they've got one above their eyes nah right it's true keep evolving getting technological on that and like getting everything grown yeah and then we will we'll start to here comes the bollocks come on no you start to evolve and other aliens become there we go there we go you are so upset you can't even finish a sentence

without saying the fucking word no so because we're to get to a point where we don't reproduce. It doesn't even make sense. We're not going to reproduce like animals anymore. We're going to start like... Here we go. No, because we're going to start putting babies together like we are with like the eggs.

Look at his eyes. We're going to start laying eggs. Eggs and sperm in the science labs. No. That's what I'm talking about. No, because then you lose your genitalia

stop talking no that's why alien draws a smooth because then when you have like that you start turning into a higher consciousness stop talking

you stop being a human and an ape and you've got a higher consciousness and you ascend into space I'm never asking a question again

you essentially turn into a god who's a god in outer space like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like who's it got I know it's space I feel like like it's like

metal like space dust you've got metal who is this guy and then that dust why do you

throw up space dust because that space dust comes together and there's the big bun and it starts all over again

have you ever looked back at you when you were talking like that your eyes go mental you had this big bun

I can't lie that is exactly the answer that I was looking for. Right. Can you give us a fact? You have five minutes starting from now. Go.

Sing. You have five minutes starting from now. Go. That's a jingle. Assassinated by the sea. Go on. So let me take you back

to ancient Rome. Will I need this? Maybe. You've had many emperors ancient Romans have in their day. Name one.

Caligula. What did you say Julius Caesar? Max Moralius. No I was not going to say that. Maximus Decimus Moralius.

Father to a murdered son. Only one though decided to go to war with the most dangerous enemy of them all and not the emus.

Now meet Emperor Caligula. He's the third emperor of Rome. He plays for Turkey, doesn't he? Yeah, he just signed for us. Kind of ugly. He wasn't liked. He was a pretty bad man. Not a bad man,

but he was a prick. He was a bad man. As far as I could read. He was doing nasty things. How far could you read? I think this is your problem you read three lines and then leave it just get the gossip

what sort of bad things was he doing he was just like fucking getting people to like do things they don't want to do and like taking the

power off the council so like you do with us on pitch side then yeah he went down as one of Rome's worst emperors Roman Reigns

he was ballsy Roman Reigns is the worst emperor so basically he was going around like basically he was going around

like picking fights with everyone you sound like he was the fucking king bit of a bully bit of a bully and he started hearing stories

about Neptune and he's like who's this fucking guy who thinks he's all Neptune wasn't a real thing. No, that was the god of... Isn't that god of the sea in ancient Greece? No, he's king of Atlantis.

Atlantis? Wait, is he talking about the planet Neptune? He's talking about Atlantis. Go on, carry on. He's king of Atlantis. Carry on. Just get this over and done with because I'm getting angry. You've got three minutes left.

Yeah, he was king of the sea, wasn't he? He was king of Atlantis. He was like Aquaman, but like ancient times. Because Poseidon's Greek so Neptune as well no Neptune's Roman right which one had like the spikes

both one of them's Greek one's the name for each other right Roman I think Neptune is Greek Poseidon is Greek who's Poseidon

because Neptune is Roman named after the planets so Mars is the god of war I thought Neptune was Greek Neptune is the Roman god of fresh water yeah there you go

fresh water well this is a bit close to question one Poseidon's the Greek one so one day he's the counterpart of the Greek god Poseidon there you go

one day Caligula decides right we might we're going to go for a walk army and he gathers them all up like fucking like 20,000 soldiers,

20,000 soldiers, and they start marching towards the sea, and the soldiers are like whispering with each other, like, where do you think we're going? And they're like, why are we going in a straight line? I think we're going to England,

you know, going crazy over there. So they get to the sea and they're like right where's the boat and that and Caligula is like

right attack like what he's like get fucking hell it's running away so again

it's got in and out in and out as the tide yeah from the moon and they start like piking like the sea

like attacking it like 20,000 men like attacking the water like to try and get at Neptune and then this is true and then

he sends like a mission of them like to go to like a nearby lake and collect all the seashells and stuff and they were putting them in the helmet wait seashells from a lake yeah maybe and collect all the seashells and stuff and they were putting them in their helmets wait seashells from a lake? yeah

maybe maybe it was another part of the sea or river what are seashells in a lake? so like the lads are here but to be fair the soldiers weren't mining because they're like

this is a fucking easy deal like they think they're going to fight the Brits and might throw get to the bit where the sea kills them and might throw something back but like no anyways the war's done he brings but like no anyways the war's done

he brings the lads back the war's done they just stop fighting yeah he's like we've fucking done that and he built a lighthouse he built a lighthouse to like sort of

claim victory over the sea he's like ha got you now light flashing bosh did they have light and electricity

yeah it's probably a fire lighthouse so he's like he's like he's like Caesar 1 not Caesar Caesar 1 Caesar 1

he's like he's like Rome 1 C0 scoreboard C0 is that it no

that's where Caesar came from wasn't it you've got one minute yeah the end of the war he goes to the cinema or theatre cinema

the theatre the cinema or theatre cinema the theatre the cinema the theatre yeah you play on to celebrate no theatre amphitheatres

just theatre there's not a movie theatre in fucking Rome yeah it was their version of the cinema though yeah it was open air stop being so stupid you ever seen gladiator

they literally had performances of like the roman empire shit on it in the film you ever seen it we should stop being so stupid this is a well researched factual story

this is fully true it's like I was on the history channel for this so actually sorry no he goes home after the war for a bit horrid history and like some of these

councilmen that he's sort of been north they start going on councilmen they start going on like this weird they keep going to the beach every now and again

for a wormhole the beach where the lake is. For a wormhole. The beach where the lake is yeah? Yeah not to the sea. And like no one really picked up on it but like they

keep going back and forth late at night. I thought they marched for days. How long is this story? Almost there.

Late at night going back and forth back and forth. Anyways the Caesar guy king what's it called emperor?

Julius Caesar. I thought Caligoglu. Caligoglu yeah. Caligula Caligula yeah Caligula it goes to the theatre and like he's

watching a film giving a big instill about beating the sea a play chatting shit he comes out he comes out

he gets stabbed like a hundred times by the councilman so Neptune whilst we go to the beach been communing with him he was fuming about the whole sea situation

yeah and he's like he's put them up to a secret task because they had a common enemy so they this is the worst one yet so by far the other what's happened what's happened there so neptune's coming out the sea I've been through the sea it's not do you ever think that maybe these councilmen have gone to the beach to discuss

and make a secret plan to overthrow the emperor that would never happen no no no he was the sea talking to them no no

it was Neptune king of Atlantis yeah he's held up to the sea which usually happens underneath the sea yeah so that's why Atlantis

so he came up from the sea and went go and that's why Atlantis and Neptune are fuming. So he came up from the sea and went, pss, pss, go and kill... No, no, no. Yeah, so yeah. There's a shell that floated to shore and he went, hello?

Yeah. Norway, man. Are you sure this isn't a plot to, um, what's, uh, under the sea? Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid.

I'm not saying, like, the seas, uh, Okagaluglu, um... Fucking hell. This guy was like he was he was a bit like mental of an emperor

so like obviously he's a mental one who's mental like the person who did the task or the person who's telling you about them

the person who's telling him no because he did them I'm just repeating them well no because the soldiers have got to do what the emperor says what bit do you

not find believable every single part coming out of the sea and telling all the councilmen it's just a man who lived in atlantis in the sea yes lived in the sea we already established atlantis was real with underneath the sea with the hairy fish i'm sorry right i used a so close mind yeah yeah so easily animals who could have been from our space, who could have just lived alongside us, who have evolved to live underwater in the sea. We've seen the mermaids. Obviously, that picture wasn't great before.

But all this stuff, I'll try and make sure of that. I'm telling you stuff that loops together. I can't listen to it anymore. Caligula. Jan and Ogly. It's all fucking, it's all fake myth. It's not. It's a load of shit. And you're an idiot for believing it.

That does fall into the year being actually 1700 because they actually just like skipped 300 years because they wanted it to be year 2000. No, it happened between 12 and 41 AD.

Do you know the old Pope? He skipped 300 years to make it year 1000. I can't listen to it anymore. He was assassinated by the members of the Praetorian Guard possibly in collusion

with the Senate. There you go. The Senate, not Neptune. That's what I meant by the members of the Praetorian Guard possibly in collusion with the Senate. There you go. The Senate, not Neptune. That's what I meant by the Councilman. Senate. Like Star Wars. So why did you

bring Neptune into it? Yeah, but they kept going to the beach back and forth. Neptune was fucking pissed because he was stabbing up the water. The reason why

he wasn't liked because he kept having sex with his sisters and throw obscene orgies. Nah, he did loads of shit. I told you he was a bad man. He's a bad man. Not that kind of bad man.

Yeah, he's a kind of bad man, better than bad. But yeah, that's the guy who went into the sea and we've never went into the sea since.

That's your worst one yet and I feel like we should change the segment because it's getting ridiculous. I can bring it back to more like understandable terms from your thick skull

if you want. If you're so close-minded you can't think. So basically, one plus one equals two, Tom. Fact. I prefer that. Yeah. terms from your thick skull if you want if you're so close-minded you can't think so basically uh one plus one equals two tom fact i prefer that yeah not necessarily dumb dumb a dumb dumb people were stabbing the sea he did that me do what fucking go in the comments and do your research he was he got them all to start that is definitely the place to do research. That was true though. One plus one equals a window. Fuck yeah, now what?

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