Back Side - 24: *SPECIAL* ChrisMD & Calfreezy EXPOSE Theo! | The Trial Of Theo Baker

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

In this Special episode, we put Theo on TRIAL for crimes of re-joining the Wafflin' Podcast. Is this the end of Back Side, and who will be found guilty as special guests appear as witness'!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Tonight on Courtside, you have to defend yourself for the claims of prosecution saying you've murdered friendships and joined Waffling Podcast.

Friends become enemies. And this is a set-up! And you have left to join Waffling, you snitch! You're lucky I don't sentence you to 15 years in prison, mate. Secrets are revealed! Would you say that it is true

that Lewis Bowden has been sending you messages to lie in court? Lewis Bowden had repeatedly expressed interest in working on waffling. And basic lawyer phrases are confused. Well, everyone's put their hand on the Bible, I presume. I'm not joining waffling. I'm rejoining. Oh, very good ending. That was pretty good. That was kind of cool.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the trial of Theodore Philip George Thomas Baker, who has unfortunately arrived late to his own trial. But we have myself, Judge Side, the prosecution. The what?

The prosecution. Oh. Lewis, Ring Stingbergen, and Gaz. I'm, what's it called?

You're the jury. No, I know, but you shouldn't know. No, you're the jury. I shouldn't be known. Yeah, who are you? An unknown male with an inaccurate description of what...

He said I'm a female. Well, I suppose we just wait here until... Did you just assume my gender? The defendant. I'm a female juror. I feel like we've been late. He loses points, no? It's like a point system how court works.

Also, I have a bit of an issue With the fact that I'm a judge And I remain at the same height as everyone else You're taller, your chair is way more grander Bro, it's the same fucking chair You can't do that No, no, no You've got the gavel, look

Oh, I do, order Yeah, actually don't, just hammer it on the paint bucket That's probably the best way to do it Order, order Yeah, actually, don't just hammer it on the paint bucket. That's probably the best way to do it. Order! Order! Did you... Me, myself and the jury have come to a decision. He's guilty. I feel like...

15 years in prison! Welcome. Welcome. Come on in. You are so rude. The defence joins the court. Court is in session. He said he was... The defence joins the court. Court is in session. He said he was coming on backside.

I've got, um... So he said he was coming on backside. So he said, wait for me. So I waited for him. We don't care. Then he said... We don't care. You're late.

You're late. What the fuck's going on? Court is in session, ladies and gentlemen. We shall presume. Welcome to the trial of Theodore Philip Thomas George Baker. George. It's not my name. Excuse me, Judge.

George, George. Why are you so close to the mic? George. I'm a judge? Just do a top-loss to me. George, George, George Baker. Excuse me, Judge. You're a jury.

Be quiet. I've come to my conclusion already. I'm the judge. Why's your bowl so big? I've got a big keg. Order! Tell him to shut up! Order!

Court is- I put his glasses again. Shut the fuck up. You're being very unprofessional. We're in fucking court. Yeah. You're lucky I don't sentence you to 15 years in prison, mate.

Yeah. Court! I heard something about you. What? I heard something about you. Will you shut the fuck up? Will you shut the fuck up? You're on trial! You're lying! What are you talking about? You're rude! You came on trial. You're lying. What are you talking about? You're rude. You came on trial.

He doesn't even care. So the court is now in session. As the defendant, we have Theodore Philip Thomas George George George Baker and the prosecution, Lewis Pete Doherty Ring Singh Baker. Pete Doherty. You do the Lauren Will choice to go and get the fucking booze.

It's D-R-U-G-E-S. I'm a man. First up to the stand. Wait, what the fuck? What is it? First up to the stand, the opening statement of the prosecution.

Please. Boo. Wait, what's going on? Boo. Oh my God. Wait, where did he get this thing? Order! Order! What is going on? Thank you.

What? Who are you? You're waving to me. I'm fucking... You look met. Why are you giving me this guy's... The court's over there as well. I'm just joining up. My glasses don't work. Google judging phrases. Ladies and gentlemen

of the court, I thank you for making the journey for this session. Shouldn't you be addressing the jury? It's of the jury, isn't it? Hello? I can't see. Also, Lewis,

why are you now standing there? Shut up! Stood like Noel Gallagher. First off, I'd like to apologize. Neil Gallagher. I'd like to... I'd like to...

Leave it. I'd like to apologize for Theo's lateness and his tidiness. He's clearly not dressed for court and not dressed for the occasion. And I think that underlines the problem. What the fuck's he doing? My name is Lewis Borden, a.k.a. Ringsting, undefeated boxer. And I am the most famous

boxer in the world. I am here on behalf of backside enterprises

to expose Theo for the bold snake that he is. He has betrayed the trust of

the clan of brothers. Can we have some order in the court after seeing the horrible, dreadful news of Theo betraying backside to join Wafflin. The victim stands accused... You may proceed. The victim stands accused of murdering friendships and the betrayal of trust. And I am here to claim £1 million in restitutions or a single apology for his wrongdoings.

Thank you and good night. Can I ask a question? Wait, let me ask a question. Prosecution, please specify what restitution means. Please give us the meaning of that word you just said. Prostitution? Monkey prostitute? What's the question?

What does restitution mean? Please specify what your closing statement, opening statement was. I want money. Or... An apology. Okay. Okay. Let's proceed.

Thank you. Thank you, uh, prosecution. Thank you. I call to the stand the defence. Theodore Philip Thomas George George George Baker. That's not my name. Thank you, uh, prosecution. Thank you. I call to the stand, the defence. Boop. Theodore Philip Thomas George George George Baker.

Boop. Boop. Whacka, whacka, whacka! Our order! Sorry. Order, leading. He's bald. I don't know what I'm saying.

He's got no hair. Tell him to take his hat off, judge. Judge, tell him to take his hat off. Will we, can we please have some normality and calmness in the court, please? He needs to take his hat off, it's rude. Take your hat off. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh Jesus. I hate my sentence, you're the death. Sorry. Why are you so red as well? You stole my fedora, ref. The defence, please. Ref. We need to go up on your statement.

If you address the jury, you might win. Hello jury, sexy motherfucker. He's not a titlist. He's not a titlist. Yeah, he's not. This is a serious issue. You betrayed us. Is it? What was I saying?

It's your opinion. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Please address the judge as well. Master. My name. Master Bater. What am I doing? What am I defending myself? You have to defend yourself for the claims of the prosecution Master......and Thing. Master Baiter.

What am I doing? What am I defending myself for? You have to defend yourself for the claims of the prosecution saying you have murdered friendships and joined Waffling Podcast. For all of the money and none of the fame. You need to stop. The audio listeners are going to hear us. That's the air. That's the slight Tourette's we have. And the wanking. I'd like to apologise.

Oh, well, that's it. They caught you. They're absolutely nothing! I didn't expect that. What's going on? You're both backside. You have to defend yourself. Oh, you mean the podcast that existed

before you were even here? I shouldn't really be gasping for that. That's very unprofessional. Do you mean the podcast that existed before you were even here? I shouldn't really be gasping for that. I'm very unprofessional. Do you mean the podcast that was around before you were even in England? Why are you addressing me? This is your opening statement. Jury don't give a shit. This is your opening statement.

You have to come up with some sort of idea of why you deserve to be on Waffling and not. Basically, it explains just why you're innocent. Why would I be guilty? Otherwise, you get 15 years. Stop asking questions. Stop asking questions. Otherwise, you'd be sentenced to 15 years in community service because it says

guilty until proven innocent in front of you. I ask this to the audience and the jury and the master. Good, I don't like that. What am I guilty of? Guilty of seeing my friends?

Ooh. Guilty of having fun? Am I guilty of a crime that I didn't commit? Well, he said you did, so. Oh, the only thing I'm guilty of is love. And that is love towards all my friends, family, and even special ones. You know? This is a better opening stab than the other one.

What have I done wrong in life? I think we're just a Joe in the court right now. What have I done wrong in life? You know? He might be right. I'm just out here trying to grind, make an honest, decent living. Instead I've got a Federo wearing...

Federo? Loser. Fedora, Fedora, Fedora. Who clearly is not appreciating what we've done for him. You know, this man was lost in translation.

He was stuck in Afghanistan. Dancing around the bush. Dancing around the bush. I was not in Afghanistan. He was in Yemen. You know? Let's keep it out of the political side. And we saved him.

We saved him from a life that, you know, ultimately, he could have turned to crime. And we saved him. We saved him from a life that, you know, ultimately, he could have turned to crime, for all we know. Leading. This is beside the point. Leading. He was on a path

destined for failure. Also leading. And we rescued him. What's this got to do with you? We gave him a job and this is how, if anything, I feel betrayed. Who are we talking about here?

Joe Welliver or Lewis Bowden? Lewis Bowden. Ah, okay. You know, I feel betrayed, you know. Ultimately, at the end of the day, at the end of the day at the end of the day you know we pay him an honest living a real honest living and this is how i get treated excuse me i seem to think you've misunderstood the assignment for the stand this is not the trial of lewis bowden this is a trial of theo baker this is where defend yourself Do not attack the prosecution. Otherwise, you'll both be sentenced

to 15 years community service and going on holiday to Tenerife with Tom. You know, part of me is like, do I want to go on holiday with Tom to Tenerife? And I would say... Maybe we'll be on there 20 minutes. I would say, yeah. Just to point out, order, order, order.

To point out, we have a second backside recording in about four hours' time. Because I would argue that actually spending one-on-one time with my good friend Tom Garrett is something I would love to do. And I feel like we don't get to do it enough. He's trying to... This is manipulation of the jury.

Why did he leave backside? Why is he left backside? You're not on the stand, Sean. I like to address these false accusations from fedora-wearing loser. Insults! Yeah, that is... He's bored.

I'll let him slide. This reminds me of a trial I watched recently on Presumed Innocent. Proceed. Where the lawyer just didn't like the guy that was on trial. Do you know what? Even though... He bored me to death.

He's innocent. There was no case. There was no case whatsoever here. You know, I've not left anything. If anything, I've gained something. What have I gained? Yeah. While you're innocent.

I've gained lifelong friends. And I thought maybe and I thought maybe, I thought maybe they looked at me the same way, but clearly, after being brought to the stand, maybe it's not so. Do you remember when you left

Joe for KSI? Ah, ah, ah, the jury is not part of the prosecution. Can we? Remember when you left

Joe for KSI? If I'm guilty, so be it. This is an open statement. I'm guilty of being a loving friend. It's not a novel. I am. You may be seated.

I'm not done yet. Get him off the stage. Oh, so please be seated. Court is now in session. I'd like to make one more point. Oh, for fuck's sake. This is the worst idea. I might quit this job.

One more point. I've been adjudicating for 60 years For fuck's sake! This is the worst idea we have. I might quit this job. One more point. One more point. I've been adjudicating No, one more, look, look, look. Closing statement, closing statement. for 60 years and this is the worst. No, it's not a closing statement. Closing statement after witnesses

and everything else in the court. Closing statement. Mate, no, it's a lobster. He's brought the angry lobster out. We have to hear what he's going to say. You go through a closing statement, yet you bald twat. I would like to also address the elephant in the room.

Please be seated. Objection. Wait, wait, wait, let me correct. There's one thing I am hurt about. No, sit down. The fact that you're redder than the lobster. We should turn on him. No, you're defending yourself. A coup of the court.

You're defending yourself for joining Waffling. A coup de matata. You're not also joining the prosecution of prosecuting Lewis for being on backside. And I will say this as my final statement. What the hell? I'm not joining, Wafflin. I'm rejoining. Oh, very good ending. That was pretty good.

That was kinda cool. Um, now what? Please, up to the stand, prosecution, Mr. Doherty Bowden. Ooh. Wait, that's the same person. Ooh. No, he's got a call. Is he not calling him now?

Today I will bring a mass of evidence. Speak up! I have sat through five days worth of Theo Baker interviews and podcasts, and that is enough torture for any man. That's only a week's worth as well. Gathering evidence. And I would like to call my first witness to the stand. Mr. Callum Leighton Airey.

Boo. Check your messages. We call- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He said check your messages. No, he said check his messages. He's been messaging Carl Friese separately. We call to the stand Mr. Callum Airey.

He's been tapping on my witnesses. Will you shut the f- Tapping on them? What? Fucking- Please proceed. Oh, he's readjusted the mic. That's very professional. Can you please say f***ing tapping on them? Please proceed. Can you please say your name to the camera?

Calamary, better known as Calfreezy. Owner of everybody. With a recent one out of ten, no less! What did he say? To the recent one out of ten. Ah, yes. At the Drunk Marathon! So, Callum, you are CEO of the Fellow Studios, correct?

For now. And the owner of all podcasts at the Fellow Studios, including Backside and Waffling. In partnership with the talent. So, you could say that you are Theo Baker's boss. No. Do you have the power to terminate? Objection.

Leading. Technically, I'm the boss. No, no, no. Theo Baker is our client. Oh. Client. Client. If you look at that in the thesaurus, I want to point out it means boss. technically I'm the boss no no no Theo Baker is our client client if you look at that in the thesaurus

I want to point out it means boss bitch no it doesn't so he's the boss please please only answer

the questions I ask you so how is Theo as an employee I'm sorry lady client objection client

as a client Theo has his days. He can be one of the best people to work with, but also difficult to work with at times. Difficult. Expand on that. Sometimes Theo struggles to see things from the other side. But what I would say is what I would say is that often we come to a resolution

and he can be quite fair in those moments. Would you say Theo's a man who likes to sometimes, let's say, manipulate the truth? No. No, Theo is not somebody with a bad moral compass.

Theo is not somebody that lies. He's not someone who lies. But he can sometimes simply be misinformed or misled. Okay, so I would like to say that Carl Friese, a dear friend of Theo Big of Years, said, Theo does not lie. Did we all hear that? Stanley, could you please pull up clip two?

Okay, so now we have American comic books in America, which is all caused by Franz Ferdinand. It would be Japanese comic books though, wouldn't it? Shut up! But you said they bring American comic books back to America. That would be a Japanese comic book. I literally never once said that. Theo Baker does

not lie. Like I said, he simply Baker does not lie. Like I said, he simply looked misinformed there. Misinformed. It was his words. He said them and said that he didn't.

Now I think, Palfreys, you have came to offend your friend. Objection. What is the accusation? What was he being accused for?

I don't really know what I'm... I'll tell you what I'm being accused for. I don't know why I'm here. No, I'll tell you. I'm being accused for being a loving man. No, no, no.

If that's my time, then I'm guilty. The defendant has been accused of murdering friendships and joining another podcast just for financial gain. Ah, okay. So that's why I'm here. Now, I understand being Theo's boss takes up much of your time, so I won't keep you too much longer. Objection! Leading!

Ooh. No, overruled. It's overruled, I'm just saying. It's fact. It's fact. He owns you, bitch. Ah! Um, so I- I can just not pay him. So, recently, um...

Um, what's your thoughts on Theo's recent accomplishment, completing an Ironman? Ooh, actually a half Ironman, I should say. Objection! Yeah. Overruled. Look, uh, completing a half Ironman, I should say. Objection. Everald. Look, completing a half Ironman,

I'm sure he's very happy with it. I don't think anyone else is very impressed. I don't think everyone else is impressed by it. But nonetheless, congratulations. You were very vocal about the half marathons, half Ironmans. You think he's half man because of that, really? Objection.

I feel uncomfortable commenting on his sexuality or his gender. Why not a full Ironman? Do you think Theo's the guy who takes the easy way out, you could say? Such as, you know, rather than building a small podcast, you would jump to the easy moneymaker. If it's true. Don't tell me this is true. I'd be led to believe that Theo could be inclined to make a decision like that.

Under certain circumstances. Theo's a man who likes to take the easy way out. Interesting. Now I have one more thing I just want to talk to you about. Surely the easy way out would just be to leave every podcast. That would not be in your financial interest. Listen to your boss. So final question.

You are a member of a very successful golf channel. Can you recite to me who the members are of this channel? Don't make me recite them. I'll miss one out. Well, can you confirm that Harry is a member of the Big Wedge? Yep. I wish Theo was part of it, actually. Interesting.

You could have asked then. I do wish Theo was part of it, but I was vetoed by the group. It's more... Have you ever heard of a channel called... Have you ever heard of a channel called The Goal Golfers? It's a bit smaller. Personally, one of my favourite golf channels, actually.

New video coming out this week. Right in court. You've said that for my favourite golf channels new video coming out this week right in court you've said that for four weeks exactly it's actually coming out this week that's what I love Harry also a member of the gold golfers

yes yeah yeah yeah so gold golfers which was founded before the big wedge a bigger channel had Harry part of it Harry then left

to join the big wedge a bigger channel a bigger monetary game. Could you say that Theo maybe got an idea of his own? Could you say that Theo maybe

took inspiration from the betrayal of Harry and thought, I will betray others for my own monetary gain? No. I don't see where Theo has betrayed anybody here.

Is it maybe, Lewis, your own insecurities? Ah, slander on the court! Is it maybe Lewis your own insecurities? Is it maybe your own insecurities that you feel Theo is simply too important for backside that him spending time anywhere else is simply at the detriment of backside. Come back backside not coexist with waffling? And why is your lip quivering? Antagonation. I would say

the CEO, Theo's boss is correct there. Theo is a valuable member of backside and I thought of him as a valuable friend. The betrayal did in fact Where is the betrayal? what is the betrayal here he did not tell us he just launched a podcast last sunday out the blue you were you were well aware of the in fact in fact i'd like to point something out lewis was extremely aware of the development of waffling in fact i had seen him join um waffling's producer for several brainstorming sessions and creative sessions well

proceedings have developed interestingly not it's now the trial of Lewis Bowden. Not only that, Lewis Bowden had repeatedly expressed interest in working on waffling until we had to step in and say, you're already too stretched. So I found this whole video quite funny. And it's totally out. Have you got any evidence of your claims? In my calendar there are several. Actually, one second. Let me get up some WhatsApps.

Let me get up some WhatsApps from Lewis. The Waffling producers were shadowing Lewis for the last couple of months. He wasn't even working here for two months. Here we go. You got a sec. That was a moment he wanted to have in a private meeting room

conversation. One second. There's another one. I'm appalled. Sorry, I'm the jury. I shouldn't be sitting here talking. I'm appalled.

There are several messages in here where Lewis expressed an interest upon finding out that Waffling was returning. You got a sec to be about absolutely anything. Now, I need you to only answer the questions I ask you. I have rested my case though. You are open for cross-examination.

That's for you to say. You're allowed to cross-examine him now. You have to say something like, you can ask him questions. Cross-examination is now open. Nothing more to say? Well, that's not really good content. Just remember this goes on audio platforms as well, mate. I'd like to just point out the word that Lewis keeps mentioning.

Yeah. He keeps saying joining. Oh, interesting. Very interesting. I've mentioned this before and I would like to reiterate it. Interesting. It's not joining, is it, Callum?

It's not joining Waffling, is it? It's rejoining. No. Rejoining. Well, I would argue that it's not even rejoining. I mean, that was there long before Backside existed.

Well before. Before, as I've mentioned, Lewis was in Afghanistan when we were uploading in Waffling. You're right. You're right. You know? You're on the front line.

I'll have you know. I'll have you know. I'll have you know. Objection. I'll have you also know. Is it not true that Pitchside and Waffling coexisted for at least a year? At the same time, before Lewis Bowden. You were having Simple Simon on at that time. It wasn't a good podcast.

There was no animosity. There was nothing there. It was just love and friendship. The only animosity that came into play is when Lewis Bowden joined. So I would argue that actually the only person guilty here is Lewis.

And guilty of what crime I say? Objection. By the way, you're not doing another... And paganism. You're meant to be asking him questions. Guilty of jealousy. Wow. Is that a crime?

He wishes he was on Waffling. Is that a crime? Can we stop doing the monologues? You haven't asked him a single question. Any questions there? Ask him something. No questions, Your Honour. Ask him something.

I'm Your Honour. I'm Your Honour. Why are you looking at him? No questions, Your Hon your honor he's a fucking witness you idiot but i will i will allow okay ask him what about tom you got any questions

man yeah you can ask someone though yeah jump in on this you get one question per witness the jury's out. No, otherwise you don't get a talk all episode. Okay. Is this the whole episode?

Yeah, this is a good one. Oh yeah, we got some witnesses though. Callum, my question for you is, yes or no, does Theo need to have a hair transplant? No. No more questions. Is that because it won't work anyway?

Because he is a man that thrives off of energy, spirit and vibes and he's got that in abundance. He's a biased witness. I would never have called him to the stand. Can I just say, I think there's something going on here. He tapped them up, he messaged them. They are in cahoots. I would like, I would like. Actually, honour, honour.

Can I see his time? Order. Order. I'm asking. Order. I'd like to. No, no, no. You have your chance. Get order. I'd like...

Order! Otherwise, you're both sentenced to death. Mr. Airy, can you confirm or deny this is you? That is him. Is he? Take a closer look if you need. Show the camera. Finding it quite interesting that the jury's a better prosecution

than the actual prosecution here. Would we say, can we all agree this is Calamari, CEO? Yes. It looks similar. It does look similar. It does seem similar. Now, this photo was sent in by a Theodore Baker, as you can all see.

Yes. At 10.04 this morning, four minutes after, we were meant to be in court. So I would argue to the jury myself. Leading, objection. I am arguing to myself that these two are in cahoots and this is a set up. Your honor.

To follow on from this point, I would like the witness to show his last message with Theodore Baker on WhatsApp. Cause I have led to believe. He's deleted. He's deleted! I'm on Lewis' channel because I want to show you something. No, no, you have to do what you're asked for. You have to do what you're asked for.

Lewis, you're on an order. Sir, everyone- I'd like to cross-examine you sir. Order! I'd like to cross-examine you. I have a rather large issue now that we don't even have a jury anymore because he's actually the one prosecuting

the defendant. Calamari, you may leave the stand. Thank you so much for joining us. I'd like a final statement. Closing statement kind of applies to the prosecution and defendant, but you know. I'd like a final statement. I feel as though Theo has been wrongly targeted. Oh, interesting. I feel as though this has been a projection of Lewis's insecurities, jealousies, and desire to be in the spotlight. Oh. Has unfortunately compromised the integrity of everyone's friendship here.

Yeah. I would like for the judge to take, and the jury, of course, to take my recommendation of a full exoneration of Theo Baker. Oh, wow. Thank you for having me, guys. Before you leave, before you leave, before you leave. Okay, he does not even have to defend it.

I would just like to point out that we have established that Callum Leighton-Airey is the CEO of the Fellow Studios and he would have an invested interest in Waffling existing because he gets the monetary gain also. And he's also one of Theo's oldest friends. So it would make sense for him

to back Theodore in any Waffling endeavour because he benefits himself monetarily. We cannot eat in the courtroom! Sorry. Do we have any more witnesses? We do. Before we do ask, I'd like to ask one question, though.

Who is it, Lewis, who fought for you for backside? Who is it who fought for you for pitch side? Who is it who fought for you in life? Court, jury, master, as Steele calls you. If it does you pleasure, I would, Mr. Master, I would like to call my second witness to the stand. Christopher

Dixon! Michael, Michael Dixon. Oh. Can he, Theo? I'm just going to adjust this. Oh! Can he say that? Quiet in the court. Shut the fuck up, jury. I was delayed because I just had to take a photo of someone in the corridor. Let the record show that Jura. I was delayed because I just had to take a photo of someone in the corridor. Let the record show that, guys.

I like his court words already. This witness might be the coolest witness I've ever seen in my life. Tapping up the witness. Again. Objection. Sustained.

Shut up. Federo. For the audience here, can you say your name, please, to the camera? Christopher Michael Dixon. Michael. Is that true?

I thought it was Michael Dix-Long. What's your relationship to Mr. Theodore Baker? Relationship, I would say... I have none! I would say acquaintance, friend,

lover. Were you friends with Theo before you were famous? I was not I was not So Theo sort of, you could say, used you I would say there was no friendship before I had a million subscribers, yes Oh, that's really, really telling

Interesting, Jury, so we can look at the historical records of him abandoning Joelle for KSI Being someone who's spent a lot of time with Theo, has he ever injury so we can look at you know the historical records of him abandoning joel for ksi okay yeah um being someone who spent a lot of time with theo has he ever sort of say snaked you in any way oh it's a great question i have a couple of examples actually prepared already um would you like me to reel off the first one please i believe there's a story including a certain Mbappe? Oh, no. It is. So, myself and Theo Baker had a scheduled day in the calendar

to visit children in hospital with terminal illnesses. Oh, very... Valiant... Fuck. Valiant pastime. Brilliant. He then got the opportunity...

Oh, sorry. Sorry. Brilliant. Well done. Brilliant. Thank you. He then got the opportunity to film The Best Friend Tag

with Kylian Mbappe and left me to go to the hospital by myself. Sent me a text saying, I'd rather make a legacy than a wish. Wow. Court. Objection. Court. Objection.

Overruled. Objection. Prove it. Objection. Prove it. Prove it. Can we get up the video of Mbappé? No, prove the messages now.

Oh. Prove it. Objection, Your Honour. Lawyer. Objection, Your Honour. Prove it. Overruled. Prove it. Objection, Your Honour. Lawyer. Objection, Your Honour. Prove it. Overruled. Prove it.

I have the power here. Shut up. Would you like my second testament? Well, I do want to say, Theo has a strange interest in your romantic life, doesn't he? Yes. He often said you are a shagger. Yes.

That's a great thing to call him. Have you ever overstepped the mark with him? It's a lie. He has made me uncomfortable before, and I do have an example to share with the jury. Say it isn't so. After becoming newly single last year, I went on a holiday with Theo Baker.

The first time I chatted to a girl, he filmed me and said female leaving the club in slow motion on his iPhone camera. He then immediately went home from the club, loaded up Premiere, and added Peter Drury commentary over it, labelling me as the little boy from Rosario. Oh, please tell me you got the clip.

He then sent me the video at 3am, along with detailed analysis of how he touched himself to it and how he took heart on an all-inclusive to pound town. It took me months of therapy to recover. Objection, Your Honour. I was busy cleaning up Oliver Fletcher Warrington's puke. That is true, but you did still make the video. Good time, though.

Have a rose. But true. You've got a bloody good time. Bloody good amount of sick as well. Your objection, please tell me you have the clip. I never knew this was real until Theo has admitted

that he has serial masturbated or the video of Chris MD. Objection, Your Honour. False allegations. You just said it's real. I haven't got the video. But the video is real and it might be my greatest masterpiece ever.

It actually is one of the greatest masterpieces ever. Masterpiece and press as well, isn't it? I'll be on board. It's like jokes. You're lawyer. No, you're the lawyer. You're jury. What we have established there is Theo will drop anyone in the search for fame.

Yeah. And he's only interested with you depending on the number of subscribers you have. Objection, Your Honour. That's what I heard as well. Objection, Your Honour. How? I think I also... How from that point?

He's made his point. How is that? Objection, Your Honour. How is that? His serious addiction to masturbation or his serious addiction to masturbation as well proves that he'll do anything for a quick fix. That's what I heard as well.

I rest my case. That isn't under questioning. So let's not go down that route. Objection, Your Hon fix. That's what I heard as well. I rest my case. That isn't under questioning. So let's not go down that route. Objection, Your Honour. What's your time to question? Not really a word in court. Sustained. Here's a bullshit note.

Would you like to cross-examine the... I would, yes. The small man on the... Cross-examination, please proceed. Chris, on a scale of one to ten, ten being one of the funniest things

you've ever watched and one being one of the least funny things, when you woke up that morning and watched that video, what scale were you laughing at that video? Oh, it was ten.

It was ten. It was a great video. It was. It was very funny. Thank you, man. Good video. One more question for you, please. I was just as strong as Igor.

On a scale of one to ten... It was really funny. On you, man. Good video. One more question for you, please. I was just as strong as Igor. On a scale of one to ten... It was really funny. On a scale of one to ten, when you left Christopher for helping out children in the hospital, what number did the Mbappé video finish on? What do you... It's about a seven, isn't it?

My next question, sir. Would you say that it is true that Lewis Bowden has been sending you messages to lie in court in return for payment, fame, and or both? Contempt of court is very serious, Mr. Bowden. And I'd like to say that you are on God, brother. Those are big allegations. Well, no, no, everyone's put their hand on the Bible, I presume.

We ain't got a bloody Bible. We've got a lobster. It's made in us. Those are pretty serious allegations you're throwing around there. But are they true? And to that I have to say, you're waffling. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'mling. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. Objection, Your Honour. Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though?

Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though?

Would you say it's still true, though? Would you say it's still true, though? He's just admitted to loose bowden tampering a witness. Your lawyer. I would never ask him to come in and say First off, I'm not your lawyer.

Stop saying that phrase. And secondly, put your glasses on properly you idiot. Now you've got it, zombie. As the juror, can you please explain

to me what tampering with a witness means? You tampered with his witness? Yeah, tampering with a witness means? You tampered with his witness? Yeah, tampering with a witness means rubbing them up the wrong way, trying to bribe them. More sexual innuendos. He has sexually abused this man and serially masturbated over a video of him. My final question, Your Honour, is would you say that... Your Honour, thank you.

I've long thought you should respect me. you say that your honour thank you it's been long I've long thought you should respect me man the prosecutor would you say

the prosecution man the prosecutor is borderline just a prosecutor it's alright going insane would you say

that his eyes terrify you would you say actually that actually everything he is talking about right now Is completely made up and fabricated Within his own mind

Because Prince doesn't do many famous does he Because As I said before He's an insecure Blind man Ah He is coming at me

For my inability to see That is prejudice Oh that is Why is my inability to see A bad thing about my character? I feel attacked. Stating fact. Continue.

That's not an objection. I don't really know how to answer the question, to be fair. He's talking the truth. Do you think people who can't see are lesser humans? That's not what I said, Your Honour. Objection.

No, leading. We're not doing this. Come on. I said, would you say that he is making this up in his head because he's gone beyond insane? I was simply asked to present some stories to the jury. Fabricated stories.

And I have done so. Fabricated stories. There was a video. He wanted us to pull it up. I like how Theo's actually getting a little bit of nothing. Why do you not like the sick children in the hospital? Oh, that's a good question. Do you value their lives less than your friendship with Mbappe?

Other than the fabricated lives, I've done more charity work in my life than you've ever done. So I'm not hearing it from you. Chris, a question. Do you think, given the choice for Theo, would he attend, say, my birthday party or go see Mbappe and shoot a video with him? Would he put friendship above fame?

I don't think I'll be filming with Mbappe. Well, I asked the witness a question. You have been a long- video with him would he put friendship above fame I don't think I'll be filming I asked the witness a question good question you have been a long term friend would he put friendship above fame would he come to my birthday party or film with Mbappé I think Theo Baker

would come to your birthday party thank you I think he's a nice man deep down deep down he's a nice man thank you man appreciate it

I think he would he's a family man he has his paella evenings every month. Happening this Saturday, actually, will you enough? Are you? I would like to ask this man a question.

Jury can't speak. Jury has a question for each witness. You're going far too out of control. When was the last time you saw or spoke to Theo? It was... That's a bit strange. In the... I think it was in the video that we last filmed. I didn't think there was... That was a bit strange. In the video. I think it was in the video that we last filmed.

I didn't think there was... Oh. In Spain. I didn't think there was... In Spain. You could say there's a running theme that you only hang out when working. When it benefits.

When there's... I mean, but that did benefit me in fairness. I don't think this is good for both of us. It benefited him. Yeah. We must have spoken since then. Chris MD, how many subscribers

does your channel have? 6,100,984. How many does Theo Baker's channel have? I'm not familiar with the number. Are you? Is it less than yours?

I'm not familiar with the number. I can tell you it's only just over 1 million. 1.5 so you could say his attendance

in your videos is not maybe down to your friendship but maybe down to his claim to fame 1.5 similar to his initial relationship

with Joe Weller he gained subscribers and then abandoned him for KSI after he lost the fight you did do that I think 10,000 subscribers is a bit

different. I have no further questions. Well, if that's the end of the questioning, thank you very much for joining us. Witness Christopher

Dixon. And all the best for the next few videos and all that shit. I'll text you for my next video. Cool. No worries about it,

pal. Bye, Chris. Your honour. Well, that's a bit of evidence. What the fuck? He's pal. Bye Chris. Your honour. Well that's a miserable evidence. What the fuck? He's in cahoots. My final question

for the prosecutor. No you can't do that. You can pull me to the stand later but I would like to say one more thing. We have one more witness. Do you want to

cross examine me? Everything so far he's tried to get out of witnesses has been bullshit and fabricated. Leading. Leading. Pull me to the stand.

Leading. Objection. Stand. Think I will. I'd Leading. Pull me to the stand. Leading. Objection. Stand. Think I will. I'd like to call Thomas Garrett to the stand. He can pull

people. People have stuff to do. Thomas Garrett, welcome to the stand, sir. Hello. Would you say

that... No, you better do this at the end. You've got someone else. State your name.

Coz. I prefer not to give that information because I'm the fair enough ah yeah witness protection would you say that sometimes tom lewis is you've given his name stress jealousy and insecurity actually is a detriment to you and others around you? No comment. I plead the fifth! Can you read the question, please? Would you say that joining pitch side was a great thing? Can you use it in a sentence?

What's pitch side? I'd like to ask this man to leave the stand. Well done. Good well done good job good job that's a good try Ron court is adjourned until the final witness I need to ask him

to the stand who is it that's what I'm saying hurry up you want me to go up mate you're in big shit now who's in the stand oh you're fucked

who's in the stands hello hope you all have a good it's a good time thank you custom ray don't forget you can get

your ball snacks hope you're having a good time Liam Gallagher's on at the next break

stick around for that make sure to buy your raffle tickets big giveaway lot of meat big giveaway

at the end big great day out we got one more witness big pot of chilli tell them that big pot of chilli yeah at the back yeah at the end big great day out we got one more witness got a big pot of chilli tell them that big pot of chilli yeah at the back

yeah at the back please put your cutlery into the pot so we don't have to collect it at the end of the day but my final witness I would like to call

the man himself Theodore Baker Theodore Baker you may proceed to the start. I've already been up. I'm a wonder... Hello, Theo.

Hello, Theo. Hello. How are you today? You're not bad yourself. Doesn't he need to state his name? Stealing. Can you please state your name for the camera? Theodore Baker.

What about your middle name? Thomas George George George. George George, my middle name. You're lying in court again. Now, tell me this. You're lying in court again. Now, tell me this. You know,

there's been a lot of said about your character, how you have a neediness for fame. I don't think any of the, none of the witnesses said that. Let me finish my question, please. Let me finish my question. Pretty sure every single witness said I was loving and caring and a family man. You get a bit angry there,

Phil. The only one come after me is you. You get a bit angry there feel the only one come after me is you get a bit angry feel are you would you characterize yourself as an angry man when you start talking yeah so you are an angry man only when you talk yes or no is only needed are you an angry emotional man no i'm going to type that as yes so he says no oh that question please can we play clip one it's just the events of the world do you mind just

that's my point about not understanding are they not shutting the fuck up I'm not even halfway through without you fucking interrupting you little

pricks god damn right is this where you started to think about joining Waffling no oh so you have a a struggleness to tell the truth it seems Theo Is this where you started to think about joining Wafflin? No. Oh.

So you have a struggleness to tell the truth, it seems, Theo. You seem to say one thing, but then you say another. You seem to have a lack of empathy for others and put yourself first. You seem to say something and act differently. So why, Theo, do you stand in this courtroom here today in front of our lovely jury and our Lord and say you do not intend to leave backside when what you've said in the past is to the contrary

and you have left to join Waffling, you snitch? I'm gay and I don't care who he is! Sorry. I'll have you know that normally when court works and you have a trial the person going on the person that goes on trial should know about it which podcast is better

backside or waffling backside liar he's lying and waffling oh the sane ones in this room aka

juror number one and the judge my lord they knew that many things can co-exist you know just because one new thing starts doesn't mean one ends you know at number one and the judge. My lord, mate. They knew that many things can coexist, you know? Just because one new thing starts doesn't mean one ends.

You know? Not everything is so... My lord. Not everything is so regimented, you know? Clearly, you don't like change. All right, so... Closing statements

from both the prosecution and defendants, please. This trial is pathetic. Okay, well... Thank you. I'll just take my wig off, then. Fuck the lock of your body voice What the fuck's the mark

On your head? Almost Jesus Has that been Cut off circulation? From the wig The only case The only thing

The only person That's guilty here Is Lewis For being main character That's it He's taken the court By hostage I call myself

Finally A position of power I can look down on all of you plebs. I will finally close this court proceeding and hereby prosecute neither the defendant nor the prosecution. Wait, he's a Jew. Oh, yeah. What have you got to say? You need to ask me whether I form a defendant guilty. Based off the evidence given

from both sides in this court, jury... Burn him! He's guilty! Sorry. Carry on. Was that him? That would just be my inner...

Jury, how do you find Theo Baker as accused for the crimes of burning friendships, murdering in fact, and leaving a show for financial gain? Guilty or not guilty? No one's left anything!

What the fuck is this shit? Well that was his prosecution, I just copied what he said. Yeah, therefore it's fucking bullshit! Oh, see you later Fedora. Oh, it's all gone wrong. Shall I stand? Oh, stand up if you want to. Oh, no, no. We the jury for the... Fucking bullshit. See you later, Fedora. Is that what I'm calling wrong? Is that what I'm saying?

I understand a bit more, yeah. We the jury, find the defendants. Not guilty. I'd like to do a... I'd like to do a retaliation. If you talk anymore, it'll be guilty. A countersuit. I'd like to countersuit. Two!

I'd like to countersuit the prosecutor for false allegations. Blasphemy. That's not a crime. Blasphemy. Blasphemy doesn't really exist. We haven't even got a Bible. Coming dressed as Pink Dottie.

Dottie. Also, defamation of character. That's a Bible. That's a Bible.'s a bible Lying On god in court I didn't There's no bible So we're not really

There is Oh where is it They can't say that And I would say The lobster Everything that I Talked about today Proves that

Main character over there Is guilty of all of the above Well if you do want to Counter sue You have to do The official Counter sue policy, which is sue!

Counter sue! No, seriously. Yeah, counter sue! No, you have to get up and do it. Counter sue! After the... After the request of the counter sue, I find

Lewis Bowden guilty of all the accusations and to be fined three months' backside wages. Hear hear! Justice is served! Give me my money! Right, everybody, just give me my money!

Yay! Just give me my money! Yay! Just give me my money. EverybodyAY! Just give me my money. Everybody like, subscribe, we- Corsets of John, thank you for watching, if you did enjoy, please leave a like. He's a free man! Just remember if you want us to never do this ever again,

10,000 likes, and we will see you in the next backside. Wait, you actually said his punishment is three months or ages. Wait, you actually said his punishment is three months or ages. Correct. Shit, that's up to me. And I put my hand on the God Lobster. Yeah. And I put my hand on the, I put my hand on the God Lobster as well. You made it to the end.

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