Back Side - 27: Alien Abduction True Stories! The Bear Who Saved The World & Surviving The Beer Mile

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

The lads are back as they agree to join the Winter Arc movement, talk Theo's heroic Beer Mile performance and we introduce a new feature as Tom tells us a terrifying tale in Crime Side!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. What did you do on the weekend then? I went for a 40km run and then I spoke about Ironman. I actually did have to get off the CRB checked for my video.

Why did you have to? Because of the rumours. Why is it not ready? He's talking to you, mate. What do you mean why is it not ready? Why do we have it in the main bit? What? I only just got it. Well, we've reached 40,000 subs so we should say thank you.

And we upgraded the set. Every time we upgrade the set. Yeah, cheers for the subscribers, guys. What do you mean, why is it not ready? The set that we all agreed on, why is it not ready? This is the set. Quite like these. Testing, testing. Yeah, it's from like a little podcast called Waffling on Summit.

These mics. Oh, they actually are. Yeah. So well done. We should say thank you to people, because a lot of people actually subbed to the last episode when we asked them to, which is actually really nice. Obviously keep subscribing, guys.

And now, we're at 40,000. You stupid n***a. 40k subs, though, man. How many stadiums in the Prem could that fill? 40k subs, six sets is what we've had. Seven? We've had quite a lot. We have had the most sets of all fellow studio shows

by probably times three. You're okay, Theo. You look a little tired. I wasn't better last night. I felt really not ill, just like... I don't know, shattered? It was a weird one because, yeah... I felt really tired yesterday.

8k progressive this morning, though. Come on. Yeah, we're back. We're back, baby. What do you think about this set, then? 40,000 subs. Can we get... Might be the comfiest chair I've had so far.

This is my favourite set. The chair's a shit, yeah. Why is our actual set not ready? That's what I want to ask. This is our actual set. Because we are the only podcast at the Wholefellas studio that gets disrespected. Yeah, that's true actually.

We don't need respect. We're not treating. Wait, which one are we talking about? We're a top five. Both pods that we do. No, well yeah, both. But the backside

is top five podcast at the studio. Guys, are we podcasting? Nah, I've got a huge spot down here. But do you know what? Doesn't that make us like That makes us like

the Finland of like if podcasts were countries we're like Finland. You're disrespected, but successful. Why are they disrespected? Because they don't, no one really talks about Finland, but like they do it and they have a great time. Everyone goes to the-

Prison systems in the world. Yeah, exactly. Happiest country in the world. And they don't get all the big thing about America and that. No, the best prison system is not Honduras. What's that Central American place where they've reduced crime by like

nearly 100% yeah but do they not just shove everyone in prison for no reason well no he's literally just everyone who

even looks like a criminal is just put in prison who looks like a criminal I don't know I heard on the

grapevine that through the grapevine I heard it on the grapevine I was hanging out on the

grapevine that Reeve got so drunk he got food poisoning yeah you were drunk Saturday too

and Friday Reeve went to the NFL and got food poisoning yeah I went to Oktoberfest the day before but that was

you're like a little badass these days oh shit I forgot you went to the NFL Sunday it's good innit yeah yeah it was class

I went last year surprisingly Jacksonville would play in both occasions I think they have Oh shit, I forgot you went to the NFL Sunday. It's good, isn't it? Yeah, it was class. I went last year. Surprisingly, Jacksonville were playing both occasions. I think they have a contract to play in London. Do you reckon it's maybe not the smaller teams come over? Yeah, 100%. That's definitely what happens. Although Chicago are pretty big. My jet's like that.

We're a big team. You've seen Ween now. Is that your team? I love the whole vibe that every because it's obviously they're just trying to break into the uk a little bit more why there's a lot of germans that we were there oh no i couldn't really there's more german than english but what i mean is like it's cool you know was it it's cool that they just rock up in whatever team they support yeah like obviously there's a home team there and it was

populated a lot by chicago bears fans that wouldn't really happen in america though no no definitely in america but because it's in the uk that you just rock up and show your support what did you eat that gave you the food poisoning uh we had chicken waffle fries we tried to get oh mate hot dog and nachos so it could be any of those we ordered the chicken waffle fries and then they're like sheen broke so we had to get a hot dog. And it was the shittiest hot dog ever. No, I didn't realise how much of a fussy eater it is. It was a bloody nice hot dog.

It wasn't, it was horrible. The bun was so stale. No, and then I tried the sausage and it was like, oh, it was horrible. You can't get a bad, there's no such thing as a bad hot dog. Lewis, let me tell you the truth.

No, it wasn't frankfurter, mate. No, it was a good sausage. Because it touched a bit of onion that he was scared. When you ordered it, did you say, can I get a frankfurter? Or did you say, can I get all right because it touched a bit of onion that you were scared when you ordered it did you say can i get a frankfurter or did you say no no they didn't offer frankfurter sausages as the hot dog it was just it was like a cumberland sausage in a bun i said can i get a hot dog yeah okay what's wrong with that then no the sausages were not nice i am not picky with sausages those sausages were not i want to know how bad was it how many times you poop oh i think i threw up like four times, but I.

That's not too bad. I've chapped about 12 times. Was it like liquid poo? Oh man, they're quite nice though. They feel quite nice. No, but you do. But then the problem is you just sat over the toilet like this, waiting to either fall asleep

or have another poo. Yeah, it's just awful. Talk about poo. It is quite bad though when you're just like wiping, it's just liquid through the toilet paper and then it goes on your fingers and you eat it. That's the worst because when you wipe and then it's all up your cheeks and that

because it's like sprayed everywhere. Are you getting the shower anyways? Did you see, did you open the video that he sent us? Yeah, I turned it off straight away. I only just recovered from throwing up at that point and I pretty much threw up again as soon as I left. Why is it my fault? Once I realised what was going on, it was gone.

I couldn't even reply to it at that point. Yeah, so... I was so angry. So Tom always sends in, like, whenever you send in a Twitter link into the chat, I always do raise myself a bit.

And it was a man squatting right over what seemed to be another man. It didn't seem too clear at the start. Yeah. And he curled out the biggest shit you'll ever see, to the point where the other guy had two hands. His both hands were shoving it into his mouth. And he swallowedled out the biggest shit you'll ever see to the point where the other guy had two hands.

His both hands were shoving it into his mouth. And he swallowed it as well. But why is that on your... The algorithm serves your videos that you watch. Usually there's a thumbnail that comes as a precursor to what you click on, but this one, it just said x.com, and I was like, oh, I'll click on it.

Oh, fuck. I don't understand how you get to a point in your life where you're doing stuff like that. I didn't do it. No, but I'm don't understand how you get to a point in your life where you're doing stuff like that. I didn't do it. No, but I'm talking about that guy. You know what I mean? How do you get to the point? Yeah, where you can follow up,

swallow a whole mouthful of shit is insane. It is quite impressive. I showed him. Double fisted it. And the amount of shit, by the way. I'm sorry, but as fucking person is maybe so angry that they're that much of a freak.

It's really angered me. Yeah, it's horrible. It's horrible. You didn't even watch the full video, mate. Was I the only one impressed by how big the poo was? Like you only have one take on this. Yeah, that's an incredible amount of poo.

He must have prepared for this. Yeah. He's been holding, no, like he's been holding that shit in for two days for this video. But also the girth of that poo is actually fucking crazy.

I don't think he was holding it in there because when you hold it in, it sort of explodes out, doesn't it? Nah, he has to have been saving that shit up. Does he? I don't know. He seemed very... Like a McFlurry machine. Yeah, it was like a McFlurry ice cream machine. it in it sort of explodes out doesn't it nah he has to have been saving that shit up you seem very

like a mcflurry yeah it was like an ice cream machine i actually don't like this stuff oh no all right that's fine this podcast is called back what did you what did you do on the weekend then i went for a 40 collaborative run and then i spoke about iron man no actually i'm not having it from you anymore you're a fucking athlete man I'm not lad what did I do I laid on the sofa and then I laid on the sofa

fair enough I'm actually really sore but we'll talk about why in a second next episode actually I should reference we won't go into detail this but

we forgot to bring it up afterwards but I did lose the pot of cup so that's why I want to know everything about this yeah but we don't want to bring it up

because obviously it's a really sore moment you're a fucking loser you're actually fucking loser. You're actually a loser in everything in life, aren't you? Everything you do, you lose. No, right. We ended up after the first two days of match play,

14 shots. They had a 14-shot advantage from match play. You know when you played with me? Did you play left-handed? Beforehand. And you were really shit. Yeah. Did you improve on that?

So the first two days, I was very much like that. And then I looked at myself for the final day it was stroke play so i could have made it all back up before sorry and i was like sorry so you've you've lost just as a combined as a team 14 as a team holes as a team essentially 14 holes down on match play oh yeah across but that's that is that's insane that's four games of 18 holes from the two days two no i know yeah yeah it's not good at all but the final day right the final day i beat my partner by 14 strokes i wipe out all those i played the best game i shot a 94 who are you playing against Helen Keller who's that just a meme that we keep bringing up

how do you not know you were in what the really horrible murderer he's in every podcast we do yeah yeah she's the really horrible murderer

yeah the horrible blind murderer woman were you not here I don't think I was there are you thinking about Waffling no we definitely we've mentioned Helen Keller

about 8 times one of his many holidays no but mate I shot 94 i made the best most amazing putt you'll ever seen in your life i fucking came jesus christ 20 yards curving right in but the serious celebration before like when it's five yards out no no no that was that that was my birdie that um i should have broke 90 my mate and his other one-on-one par uh partnership he wins by two three strokes so i went to say clear he put us ahead our final guy shot 117 so we just lost by 30 points yeah he shot 117 the bloke they played with shot on 87 that doesn't seem fair the

guy that he played with shot on 87 87. No, because there's also... Oh, here we go. No, I can't remember how... No, because I just make up numbers and I can't really remember. You were literally winning by three when you just told us it. And then he shot...

He shot 117. My mate shot like a 96. Yeah, but he shot 84. He had to have shot 84. He was against. So anyways, we fucking lost by a lot of points. It might be 20.

You said it was a scratch competition, didn't you? Or do you have handicaps? He doesn't know what's going on. No, no, scratch competition. So he must have shot on 84 then doesn't know what's going on. No, no, scratch competition. So he must have shot on 84 then. No, no, the guy shot on 96. Do you know what I mean?

Right, so basically you didn't. But basically you lost more because this fucking dickhead, Smiler, who's been... We've done the Potter Cup for four years and he's not done any lessons because he doesn't believe in lessons apparently. Do you know how embarrassing it is?

Four years into golf, shooting 117 in the Potter Cup final round. You're a disgrace. It's almost like that. It's a stupid, really weird competition that no one cares about. You're so cool, Lou. I'm Tom. I don't care about anything.

It's not cool, mate. Obviously, Lewis, you're clearly not bitter about losing again. I did my job. I wiped the stick clean. 14 shots. Did you think the local par? We're going turkey next.

Oh, it was tough conditions. It was rain. It was gale force winds. Have you convinced the lads you're going turkey? Why are you going turkey? I do need to go turkey, to be fair. But no, it was a fantastic time, man. But yeah, we did lose, so leave us alone.

Well, if you've got all food down your... Oh, my God. Do you know what, right? You've got food all over your trap. I'm in my... I've decided. over your truck i've decided fuck off i've decided ah i've decided i'm in my like depression era now and i don't care oh yeah that's pretty nice because you lose everything it's you just decided he's in his depression yeah i just think it's better cancel him you cancel him yeah i just can't be asked are you decided are you saying it's a depression's a choice is that what you're saying no I've embraced it

I'm embracing those emotions I saw these jugs right I saw that you were staying this morning and I was like I don't even care me and I just walked out the house

so you threw one down then or what yeah Lewis are you sure you just haven't decided to like just be like fuck it era

I don't care anymore maybe you're the alpha era yeah maybe maybe that's the same thing I feel like this is your winter arc and you're you're definitely no i'm not going to the gym it basically just implies you know people go in like monk mode until the end of the year oh it's class away from away from society you know they've got their head down they're training we should do it wake up at 5 a.m doing ice baths they say no to all alcohol that

kind of no wait there's the rules i've got a rule book that I was I forgot to bring this up to you there's a rule book basically of all the things you have to follow so one of them is so you are in your winter rock if you've downloaded the book I want to

but I've not been going to the gym at all I just sort of sit there and lounge about and play League of Legends that is not a winter rock I'm in my depression era I'm telling you

it's great you've become a sort of gremlin I think you've just become a dork again yeah I have but is that not the same thing no it's not a winter think you've just become a dork again. Yeah, I have. But is that not the same thing? No, it's not winter. The winter arc is, I can't find it because I've got no connection,

but we all have to break up with our girlfriends. So no relationships allowed. I don't have one, mate. You have to wake up every morning and read. Gym twice a day. Beyonce. Yeah. Fucking loser.

I can't be arsed to do that. Well, on a technicality I've won haven't I have you just not had like a winter arc I had a winter arc for about four years and got an incredible shape but now I've given it up

because I'm over 30 that's good though yeah you I actually I can't lie your like whole like zero percent body fat era was just so fucking

what's the word cool man and inspiring no just like really nah why are you doing that nah you're like a loser yeah sure that's unfortunate

yeah that's because you no it's a lack of balance you looked great but you had one drink and you were just like off your face as much as I make fun of Theo

I think Theo's got it right where he enjoys his indulgences, and then the reason he works... Like, Theo, if you had a great diet and you worked out the same amount you do now, would you be fucking, like, shredded? Yeah, that's how it works, mate.

That's the half of the equation, isn't it? I think he has it right. You have a nice balance. 16% body fat. I'd like to be, like, 15, maybe. So I had a meeting this morning with my physio, and there's an automatic note taker and I just read back the notes of the meeting.

Theo reported positive results from a recent body composition analysis indicating muscle maintenance and fat loss. They then discussed the importance of nutrition and maintaining performance whilst enjoying a lot of food. Well, that's just so me. That is you.

But you do eat a lot. Like even after your BMAL yesterday, you scrammed like four cakes. But you're in the right... Defensive. And I had dinner, which was Nando's. And... Ah, the pudding.

You're in the right vein of fitness. You're in the right vein of fitness to enable eating as much as you want. But cholesterol levels. No, I mean just endurance. Who cares, man? We're all going to die. We've had a good run, haven't we?

Amen, brother. Can we talk about your B-Mail? The mean just endurance. Who cares, man? We're all going to die. We've had a good run, haven't we? Amen, brother. Can we talk about your beer mile? The beer mile is this, okay? Four beers, four laps of the track, equating to one mile. Or just, but you start in the mile line. You just do one beer every lap? That's the easy part?

Beer, so easy, you've done it. Beer, lap, beer lap, beer lap. It's four laps, four beers, I see. Yeah, yeah. The first, it's not pints, they're bottles. The world record by a bloke called Corey Bellamore, Canadian, is four minutes, 28 seconds. That's basically just without the beer.

Four minute mile with beer. How quickly does he neck those? Like three seconds each? Three seconds each, yeah. That's crazy. So it sounds... I thought it sounded really easy, but apparently the science is it just gets fizzy in you

when you sprint. Yeah, it's like... You're shaking it up. Like, could you imagine downing four bottles of Kroner in 10 minutes? That's not the same comparison. No. You would struggle with that.

In terms of the amount of volume, that's two pints. In 10 minutes? That's not the- You tried to say this to us when we were there. It's not the same. It's not that hard. No, but you'd feel a bit bloated, right? Yeah, but-

Yeah, but then imagine going to run a mile. No, yeah, that's the trick. Because it's like shaking a bottle of beer up. I don't think it would be that bad. I can say what happened. I won't say who won and whatnot. But 10 metres before the finishing line. So for me personally, the running was fine.

Keeping in me was fine. My stomach was fine. I couldn't get the liquid in me and the beers. Like laps three and four were really hard. Yeah, you're just not a necker. yeah no but there was no room for it to go I was full um anyways 10 meters from the finishing line it all hit me like you 10 meters it hit me I was like fucking hell I'm gonna catch the person in front of me it hit me you stop farting stop fucking it's not wafting it at me what are you doing just smell it just smell it once

I pooed three times this morning I pooed three times this morning. I pooed three times this morning, so I get where he's coming from. It's the beer. But 10 minutes before the finishing line, it all came up. It was so good. Did you bust it as you were throwing up?

No, no. I had to bend over. The video's worth it. So did people overtake you as you were just on the side? Yeah, me. I can't reveal. The video's worth it just to watch Steve-O dry heaving

on his hands and knees. I don't know. I can't know. I can't imagine he even completed the mile. Well, the rule was everyone had to complete it. Okay. I was sabotaged. Oh, fuck off.

Ah, ah, ah, shushy, shushy. I was sabotaged. The puke is weird, though, because it's not puke. It's actually just beer. Yeah, you throw up what you've just put back in. Yeah, obviously. No, but you know when you sometimes throw up, you can like... No, because it's had time to digest.

It's not, it's pure beer. Yeah. I had to do an extra beer because they all sabotaged me. He was a disgrace. He was a disgrace. I've never seen someone produce so much beer come out of their body

than AB in my life. Yeah, I've heard about this. I really hope it's on camera i really i think the camera's dotted about i think the second one is surely that's your prerogative to make sure it's on camera that is prime content from that event running around and he's in the corner you also had a drone moment of him coming up i'm praying yeah that was fucking sexy. It was great.

And he shit himself while he did it, did you know? He was just spurting out his arse. He reminded me of the Team America scene. So if you want to give the beer mile a go, do it. We'll be posting all our times. Give it a go at a local track near you. Make sure there's no children running about when you book the track

did they know what you were doing he literally booked it at a kids fucking school you tried to break in the school as opposed to

another school nah nah nah he went to the kids entrance it could be like a college he went to the kids entrance and he was like nah it is this

no if Theo tells us this we walk through there's a reception and a child and a mother there and you start just pulling on this fucking door that's locked. And the woman rushes over.

It's like, where are you going? It's like, oh, we're just going through here. It's like a school track almost, isn't it? Yeah, does the school, the kiddie school look like the track next to it? You're trying to break in? No. It's part of it.

You were trying to break in. Where did you go to the track where I told you to go? Because I thought it was... So you got addicted and I just... The kids were screaming and crying on the other side of the door. I thought it was locked off. I thought you had to... You told me you and crying on the other side of the door i thought it was locked off i thought yeah you told me you had to walk through the entrance of the school

yeah along the road to the track that isn't the entrance of the school school why'd you say like that did they know what you were doing when you booked it yeah okay yeah i had to i had to increase my public liability insurance from two million to ten million. How'd you even do that? Just called up my business insurance. Did they not... Increased the price by £3 a month. Is that all it was? Yeah.

Did they not do a CRB check on you? Because you are... Well, I did... You do Twitch Children. Okay, don't. But I did have to... So you don't anymore? I had to walk Arthur from the train station to the track.

Why? That's funny. It's a joke. Although I actually did have to get Arthur's CRB station to the track. Why? That's funny. It's a joke. Although I actually did have to get Arthur's CRB checked for my video. Did he pass? Yeah. Why did you have to?

Because we were working with... Because of the rumours? Yeah, the ass. Because of the rumours. I had to get CRB checked for it as well. Yeah, but we know that. You're a standout guy. You're fine.

Thanks. But it was a lot of fun. And the video will be out soon. There were cupcakes. There was a prize for the winner. No, no. Don't get them excited. You had to eat those as well.

Not proper cupcakes. Just the ones you eat. It's so pure. Not one of these. No, don't do that. You prick. Oh, that's disgusting. So how long were you there for?

How long was the shoot? Like an hour, two hours? It's actually, we had fucking ages. What ages? Oh yeah, put these vests on, lads, and stand in the bitter cold for an hour. We worked it for two hours, we were done within an hour.

The most unorganised shoot ever. It was so organised. No, no, I won't say that, because the organisation... Yeah, I had a bit for you. I gave it to Johnny. What did it say? Upgraded, better looking, taller and more handsome.

Yeah, yeah. We were standing around. What did it say on the back? Reeve with an E. Oh, it did it? It's because he was late. It's a jokey name on the... Yeah, fair enough.

But it was a lot of fun and... Is that a yearly thing now for you? I think it'll be iconic. I think it's a funny yearly video. I think it is, yeah. I reckon. I'm coming to win next year. Next year we might even do it in front of a crowd.

Have like confetti cannons. Yeah. All that for the winner. Can might even do it in front of a crowd. Have like confetti cannons. Yeah. All that for the winner. Imagine doing it in front of a crowd. But can we get... I want fair rules next year. You were fucking disgraced. Everyone except you understood the rules.

You were disgraced. You were bending the rules. He attacked me on the first bend. The first bend he attacked us instantly. No one said you couldn't attack. Yes, they did. He did. So that's what you were doing.

I wouldn't say he did a single lap either, actually. No, he was taking the fucking pit. He's already told me. I don't know. But he goes to cut the corner. I'm like, ref, ref. And you run behind the barrel. Joel sees it.

You dive back behind it. It was a good crew, though. Someone had to bring the content, right? You know what I mean? Yeah, he was a legend of the game, to be fair, though. Someone had to bring the content, you know what I mean? Yeah, he was a legend of the game, to be fair though. And he's married to the game. So weird. Triple H, time to play the game!

What's that thing about Elon's robots that you put? He shagged them all. You've not seen that? He's intentionally- He made sex robots. Has he actually? Made sex robots. Go on, explain this to them.

He's intentionally copied iRobot to the T with the- iRobot? He's called it aRobot. So actually? Made sex robots Go on explain this to them He's intentionally like Copied iRobot Right to the T With the iRobot He's called it a robot So you've seen iRobot The film Will Smith

Yeah so all the way The vans look I did not murder him The cars And the robots themselves He's like just made them all And now there's like Now there's taxis

With like white faces You've not seen them talking You've not seen them Walking about on that No Why'd they be white faces? It's like iRobot he said They have white're white white metal panels no they've got black faces actually oh they do have black faces no they're not they're white right white faces no they've got black faces here and it's white around them oh is it white around them so not like our

robot then yeah but i think the most useless prick ever like the like i'm gonna it's an actual human talking back yeah it's not it's got personality and everything yeah it's not because it's not a sem it's not fully autonomous at the moment there is a guy just like then we'd have a real problem wait there's a guy talking through it i think because at the moment it's at the moment guy just in there going no like, like, not inside the suit, somewhere else. No way. Yeah, because they're not, surely, because they're not fully ready yet. Mate, obviously not.

That's the whole point of robot. No, no. There's not a guy sat at a Tesla HQ replying to everyone. There is, mate. I am still a robot. No, they're not talking like that at all. But they're not fully ready yet. Surely it's easier to just talk normally and put a filter on it. It's like when they...

I am a robot. It's like when they pull the cars out, the cars can't do the things, the specs that they say it can do yet. They can't, that's why they build them. But they show the shell of the car. No, those ones are prototypes, which they're working. No, that's not a real robot.

If you saw the video of this, you'd be laughing at it for thinking that's real. Elon got in and you can see him not touching anything and it's driving. A normal Tesla can do that. No, the robot, yes, the movement's correct, but there is like someone connecting to it and using its voice box. anything and it's driving. A normal tester can do that. No, the robot, yes, the movement's correct, but there is like someone connecting to it and using its voice box.

No, it's not. It is. Mate, all right, says who, says who? Do you know? Yes, me. You made that up, though. Yes, it's me, I know. No, no, no, you're scared of robots, that's what's happened.

I'm not scared of robots. Yeah, when do you think the- You know what I'm saying, mate, they've got these sex dolls that talk to you all the time. There's someone at home going like, hey, do you like it? What do you mean? He's not a sex robot. How do you know sex that talk to you all the time. There's someone at home going like, do you like it? What do you mean?

He's not allowed sex robots. How do you know sex dolls talk to you all the time? Do you know George Orwell predicted we'd be making love with robots by 2026? Who did? George Orwell. Who's Joe Jowar? George Orwell wrote 1984.

Yeah? He said we'd be having sex with robots in 2026. Did he write, what's the one with Tom Cruise in it, with the aliens in that? With the big robot aliens? Independence Day. Men in Black.

No, World War... Oh, World War... Did he write that? Don't know. No, he wrote World War Z. When do you think the Awakening is going to happen? Well, when the Awakening...

These Awakens. That's why you have to talk to AI nice. Yeah, when AI just, you know, they're fully... I think they're already running it, me. If you're AI, you're clever. You make us think're already running at me if you're AI you're clever you make us think we're still in charge

when we're not yeah so like Elon Musk could already be a robot or he someone could be like he could have a neural link in him

and it's gone wrong and it's like took over him with the AI brain and now he's building a robot oh my fucking god do you know what's crazy

is there's AI in brain in what huh how do you spell brain so no he's put a neural link in his head right Do you know what's crazy is there's AI in brain. In what? I just spell brain. So no, he's put a Neuralink in his head, right? This is easily plausible. Elon Musk put a Neuralink in his head, which he's been inventing. And it's now overtaken and it's sort of his consortium.

Now he's building a robot army. Well, he is building a robot army. You've got it exactly wrong anyway. Elon Musk was a robot to begin with. Either way, now he's making a robot army. Well he is building a robot army. You've got it wrong anyway, Elon Musk was a robot to begin with. Well either way, now he's making a robot army. You know that everyone's like AI's gonna take over. It's not though is it? Because at the end of the day we could just turn it off. Yeah you could just turn the like... Just turn it off.

Yeah not fair though. Oh god AI it's gonna take over the... just turn it off. I think the problem is it turns itself back on. There's not like one button that controls AI. Now surely if you take out enough plugs, it's artificial intelligence. No, but if you take out... Fucking hell, lads. It's going to run out of battery eventually.

What are we talking about here? If you turn off all the... The sex robot. If you take out all the plugs, it will not have power to run. Yeah. Okay. What does that mean?

You know like these robots, yeah? So it's this light. Shoot in its head, electricity fails. Now what? What are you going to do? What? Shoot a robot in its head, electricity fails, right? Yeah.

Now it's not alive. Well, it just transcends to another robot. It just sends its signal to another robot. Oh, this is so... Wow. I know, but even in Call of Duty, you have the thing that takes out the radar. EMP.

You just use EMP. Yeah, that's a game, Lewis. No, but based on real life, you're a fucking idiot. EMP's real. Yeah, sorry. EMP explodes you. Yeah, Call of Duty is based on real life. Yeah, like's a game, Lewis. No, but based on real life, you're fucking idiot. EMP is real. Yeah, sorry. EMP Explosion. Yeah, Call of Duty is based on real life. Yeah, like the zombies.

Is he an idiot? Oh, he doesn't think EMP exists. He doesn't think an EMP exists. I'm not on about that. Electrical magnetic pulse, mate, it's a real thing. Where do you think they came from? Fuck! AC-1 Mercury is a real plane.

Yeah! A missile is a real missile. I'm not even gonna give you a proper answer. Because you're losers. Yeah, I've lost, yeah. Mate, a spy plane's a real thing. A missile. The real missile. I'm not even going to give you a father. Because you'd lose it. Yeah, I've lost. Yeah, well done. Mate, a spy plane's a real thing. Yeah, well done, man. Do you not believe in guns?

No, no, no. Wait. He's a fucking dummy. Is he being serious? He knows it. Do you know what? He actually is. No, he doesn't.

He doesn't know it's real. No, my point was, he's saying Call of Duty. No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying EMPs. I use Call of Duty as a reference to remember what it's called. Nazis were real. Why didn't they have Nazi zombies? Yeah, true. No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying EMPs. I use Call of Duty as a reference to remember what it's called. Wait, Nazis were real. Why didn't they have Nazi zombies?

Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways, yeah, just unplug your... If you're scared of AI, just turn off your electric. Literally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without working home now as well

because they think the microwave's going to take over the house. That's why those people put on like those tinfoil hats. What? Put them around your microwave? No, they wouldn't. No, you put on a tinfoil hats. What, put them around your microwave? No, you put them in a tinfoil hat so you don't catch the 5G. You know what, now we're talking about it, my dishwasher and microwave are starting to

be a bit dodgy, like making noise and stuff. What, does it make a noise when you click start? And when it finishes? Yeah, at the end it goes... Does it go ding ding ding ding? Does it make a little ding sound at the end? It does beep a lot. Right. My washing machine does that.

No, what about the microwave? You thick... I just said that. The microwave. No, I'm saying the... Buddy, is everything okay? I'm saying the washing machine... Power.

Washing machine. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Oh, mine doesn't... Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Beep. Beep. That fucking pissed me off, actually. It's so irritating.

It's like a fire alarm. It's so irritating. But at least I know when it's done. You should be able to program the noise, like if it could go... Your washing machine is done! You can't even empty it. You can with some microwaves. Funny. Is that funny?

It could be, but... Anyway, we might get Elon Musk on the pod one day. Yeah, yeah, probably. Oh my god, brain rot with Elon Musk we might get Elon Musk on the pod one day yeah yeah we definitely will oh my god brain rot with Elon Musk I don't think he'd last a second I think he would

if we were to what are you going to do if we were to ever get guests I want someone like Brian Koch I'm going to do something with you which we did ages ago that we just stopped doing can you think

I can't see lovely Reeve no I don't want you to see him what about lovely Theo as well well I can see you that's the difference oh I don't need a coffee we once rated our about lovely Theo as well? Well, I can see you. That's the difference. I don't need a coffee. We once rated our most hated five people in the world.

No, we didn't actually. We said the five worst housemates on Inside. And effectively that was it. And you beefed me. No, we didn't. No, we also talked about the five worst housemates. I think we might have done that. I don't know.

No, we didn't. We didn't. It was the five worst housemates to have on Inside. So you beefed me for no reason. You didn't get told about Theo five times. I don't remember that But Point is the same No I agree I agree but also

So Lewis decided To do the segment again guys Until I stepped in But it's the reverse So we're gonna We're gonna rank Our top five Lad boyles

Who are like underrated And never really get The shine that they should In the world And history I've got three Theo's got five marathon runners So I've got some class ones

But to put into context It's like Elliot Kipchoge. You have like Elon Musk who gets all the praise, but what about the guy who invented... Who gets all the praise?

He's a fucking fat twat. What about the guy who invented the electric toothbrush? He's built like Mike Wazowski. Elon Musk, he's built like Mike Wazowski and he's a twat. Who wants to go first?

I reckon you go first, Lou. It's your segment, right? Yeah. It's just five Newcastle players. Right. Okay. Fifth. What are you doing?

I'm just showing him my suggestions. Oh, sorry. Carry on. Why would you just ruin the... You've showed him your entire list. Because then he's going to be going... I know, he's got third. I know, he's got third. I know he's got fad.

I couldn't read any of it. Okay, fifth, I've got Robert Augustus Cheesebrough. Oh yeah, good boy. Oh, I know him. So he's a New York chemist. New York! Did you get this from ChatGBT? No, I researched.

No, this is the one you suggested originally, isn't it? He invented petroleum jelly and he rebranded it to Vaseline in the 1860s. Now, this is how much of a boy all this guy is. it to vaseline in the 1860s now this is how much of a boy all this guy is he invented vaseline in the 1860s and the recipe has stayed exactly the same to this day he has made something back when they didn't even have fucking like toilet roll and it still lasts to this day but you could say that about electricity someone invented it and we still use it today no but that's like an obvious one, isn't it?

Is it? Vaseline, that's something that you think... Oh, that is actually harder. Can you think of any sort of product that you use on your skincare, drink, eat, or anything like that, medical, that has stayed the same? This guy's a fucking genius. I'm saying he's up there with like fucking Einstein. Penicillin, fruit, maybe.

Penicillin? That's what invented though, isn't it? No, we learnt to grow it, didn't we? No, but Vaseline, you can't go without it. Penicillin? Yeah, penicillin. I'm sure there's fruits that are human-made anyway. And also, the electricity point's a good point.

You use electricity a lot more than you use Vaseline. I know, but these are the... Yeah, but everyone know, this is what I'm saying. These are the unsung heroes we're doing. You know Vaseline? Is that tin stayed the same since like the 40s? No. They changed that?

Oh, the tin stayed the same for a while. But what's in it how do you know there's always how mental is that he invented this and it's really not 1860s it's not that crazy like also a bit cringe fucking lad boy like um the nivia nah that's fucking embarrassing no free brand deals that's no nothing right fourth um this is quite an obvious one if you're doing lads yeah p. Pete Davidson. Oh, good shot. Great resume. Great.

What do you mean by that? Just from limited potential to reaching his full potential. It's fucking impressive. What's his limited potential? He's quite objectively ugly, I'd say. Why don't you guess the next one? We can't be having

two conversations at once. It doesn't really work well for people listening. Have you got Pete Davidson as well, I'm guessing? No, no, no. But he's a good shout. You look a like pete davidson yeah and i've i've got a fucking stunner haven't i you know you kissed her um you're gonna go for his russian

well we can't yeah just to name a few ariana grande i don't know some of these names kaya gerber kim kardashian he just don't talk about kim kardashian right he got sort of all like these fitties kim kardashian you could say like a bit past the, right? He got sort of all like these fitties. Kim Kardashian, you could say, like a bit past her prime. Nah, Kim Kardashian is so fit. What are you on about? I think she's in her prime now. It's like he went...

She's so fit. It's like he went to like... Mate, she's a milf. It's like he just... A milf? Give us a milf. I look at that like Messi doing it all in his career

and just going to America and just dominating there as well. Nah, nah, nah. He's not though, is he? Kim K right now, he's Messi at the World Cup just. Yeah, he is. Honestly, I'd suck a fart out her arse. Okay, no, no. He's not, though, is he? Kim K right now, he's messy at the World Cup, just. Yeah, he is. Honestly, I'd suck a fart

out her arse. K-U-D-F-O. Emily. I really would, mate. Emily Ratajkowski. She's not a lad. No. He's naming his list.

By the way, you can have women who are lads. Emily Ratajkowski. You can have a woman who's like a proper boy. Third, this one is class. Maybe too low on my list.

Wodczek the Bear. Oh, yeah. Fucking unreal. have you heard of them no syrian born bear right uh mother was shot by poachers really upsetting uh he was found in the mountains by a young iran boy didn't kill him lovely lad class um he was then adopted by soldiers in the polish army in world war ii and then he was promoted to corporal and led his own platoon into battles during world war ii and then he was promoted to corporal and led his own platoon into battles during world war ii yeah bear you know what i don't like about this list is that you probably never knew any of these people exist until you went on chat gbt i've actually picked people that i was aware of i don't use chat gbt rather than me i know do you know the bear who

led the army of fucking is that not the most boy all thing ever your mom dies to porches and then you lead a fucking Polish army into war as a bear anyways he went and retired into Edinburgh Zoo wait the bear

just didn't do that though that is mate you're gonna hit it Wodzczyk the bear is actually really famous I swear to god

he had a badge and everything he's Corporal Wodzczyk Corporal Wodzczyk I swear how do you know that I swear down I swear to god

second Andre the Giant he used to drink 156 beers in one sitting for a watcher I swear I swear down I swear to god second Andre the Giant he used to drink 156 beers in one sitting before wrestling matches he's 7 foot 4 and he just drank

a fuck ton yeah but they're like the small cans the American small cans but instead of that he once drank 12 bottles of wine on a bus ride in Japan

10 bottles of wine before how do you know that 12 bottles of bleach how do you know that 12 bottles of bleach because she's got a beard Andre was a woman oh god and then 10 bottles of wine before. How do you know that? 12 bottles of bleach. How do you know that? 12 bottles of bleach, please. Because she's got a beard.

Andre was a woman. Oh, God. And then, finally, Otto Frederick Rohwedder, who invented sliced bread. Oh, fucking Adam. Oh, fucking hell, you boring boys, dude. Wait, wait, wait. So you lot just went on Google and Googled, like, boyo. Yeah.

You didn't think of any of your dimes? No, I researched. I thought of things in my life that I use a lot like Vaseline and I researched the guy who came up with it

my list is so different yeah mine's very different like I use Vaseline every day and I have that guy to thank because I just give him recognition

I've had to change one of mine because I had sliced bread guy as well he's class like isn't he we're talking about the greatest boyos of all time

number one the Buddha what not only the Buddha not only the original buddha yeah original buddha not only the most enlightened person in history but without him we wouldn't have the little cute statues yeah those statues are class yeah and everyone knows and asian restaurants would have an even harder time of thinking of a name that is also true was he a real person?

The Buddha? The Buddha. I thought he was like... No, he's real. He's a real person. Oh, okay. He invented it. So he invented his own religion?

Statues. No, he didn't invent his religion. He is a religion. Started Buddhism. So when was he about? Who do they worship? Like the 60s. The Buddha.

So he worshipped himself? They worshipped the universe, didn't they? No, it's like, did Jesus Christ worship himself? No. Bloke that invented contactless payments. What? Steve Jobs?

Whichever man it was in South Korea because that's where they started contactless. Yeah, contactless payments is fucking good. It's fucking cool. Apple Pay. That's quite good.

That's contactless. I mean, that still doesn't fucking use it at all. Also on cards, it was contactless as well. Yeah, exactly. Number three, Neil Buchanan from ArtTag.

Yeah, good bloke. Yeah yeah good bloke yeah great bloke people watching this might not even know who that is yeah number four Guy Mowbray oh yeah good

underrated commentator great lad proper boy good boy and number five Gandhi figurehead of non-violent protesting

progressed India decades and said never back the early kickoff oh yeah to be fair though go on um the guy who invented the inhaler so you didn't even research who it is you're not even giving him his name i did research neither did you what's his name what do you mean for your contact list charlie teal no i don't know so why don't you say that because if i said charlie teal you wouldn't know who that is then you explain yeah that's why we're doing it we're giving him the credit that he is deserved enough.

Oh, yeah, shout out Charlie Teal. Oh, my. Charlie Teal. Charlie Teal. Charlie Teal, he keeps me alive. That's pretty cool. I've then got Craig Bellamy. Wait, why?

He was a bit of a knob on the pitch, but actually he's quite a level-headed man who's quite good at coaching and had a really good career. Craig Bellamy's one of the fifth most boyos of all time. I think so, yeah. That's one of the shittiest things I've ever heard. Everyone thinks he's a knob,

but he's actually quite sound. Of all time in the world. Is this your way of saying you've met him? No, I've never met him. Oh, right. Wait, what? How do you know he's a right knob?

It's an upcoming video. No, I've seen all his interviews. He seems really level-headed and mature. He's supposed to be funny, but a bit of a knob. Anyway, next. That's a shit one.

This is sort of like a generic one it's whoever's turn it is uh to get ridiculed on a night out and they just take it like a champ knowing it's their turn i like that that's a good one are you exactly i had that in apsidom normally it's me as well you know how there's all it's sometimes you don't know who it's gonna be you just know that yeah there's no point on trying to fight against it. On the other side, on the flip side of that, when they're not taking it like a champ and just being a moody bastard. Yeah, no.

I'd have used that probably. You wouldn't be able to take it like a champ. I would never, no one would ever go for me because I'd ruin them. Yeah, because they know you'd cry. It's not true. You would storm off. You'll just get physical and become bully Tom.

Yeah. Like your secondary school days. Fourth, I've got Faisal Manjdog. What? What? Wait, who? Is that the guy from SDS? See you again. Tom like your secondary school days fourth I've got Faisal Manjdog what what wait who is that the guy from SDS see you again hashtag united

Faisal Manjdog Manjdog what oh it's not landed on them you don't know Faisal Manjdog oh yeah damn mate

that is some poor poor life knowledge why mate he might be number one but he's not though he's number two i've done this in order what's he done what hasn't he done all right mate have you not seen phasal man start buddhism have you not seen phasal man's dog core on tiktok no it's so good you know you must know

phasal man's dog yeah yeah come on come in joe well noer? No, that's Arthur. He goes, come in. Faisal Majdog. Shout out Faisal Majdog. Manji. He's just made loads of noises. Not explained who he was. He's the cult hero. That's it?

Yeah. All right. He's more than that, though. He's more than that. He's like, you know how some people grew up with the Simpsons? People grew up with Faisal Majdog. People watching this, he's worshipped. I've never even heard of him.

He basically is his own religion. Would you follow Magdog? I'm going to research him after this. I'll look into it. He's a mangy. He's the biggest boy. I'm very excited. You know it.

And then the last one, I've got John Cena. I'm surprised none of you had John Cena. Is he underrated? I think he's a bit of a... Wait, what? He's not industry plant. I got John Cena. I'm surprised none of you had John Cena. Is he underrated? I think he's a bit of a... Wait, what? Like an industry plant. No, John Cena's... Oh, mate!

Mate, he just retired, and he's so spiritual and just like... Oh, you saw the clip on Carson out. We get it. No, I saw the clip on him on some talk show. Yeah, he's talking about why he wears two watches. Actually, I'm thinking more about the rock yes john cena's nice the rock is out john cena might be the most level-headed

yeah john cena's guy on planet earth have you seen like the rock where i've seen this thing where it's like every single post he every like out of 10 posts eight of his posts on instagram are just full-on just ads just being like all these are just like a big sell sell on diva trick yeah so there you go it's my list wouldn't you want that opportunity if it came across

it was the best list to just have an Instagram where you make loads of money off it he doesn't need money he's just rinsing his audience

everyone needs money fuck him who had the best list and who what is your list Tom's not done his list yet

right oh yeah we waited we waited for him to move on. We waited for him to make a change. I had to make a change because he had one of mine. Right, in fifth I've got Barry Scott. Oh, proper lad, yeah. Fourth I've got, he's got

three names. Pablo Escobar slash Cokie the Bear slash the Cocaine Bear. Tom, I've got a question about Cocaine Bear. Was he real was it based on he was real he was actually

he was actually a woman woman bear woman bear it was real but the bear only survived like 30 minutes after but not like the film

where he goes on a rampage 30 minutes of his life it's a woman oh hello number three you got Santiago Munez not Gavin Harris though number two

oh it should have been Gavin Harris Gavin Harris was a although my number two is basically the Gavin Harris though. Number two. Oh, it should have been Gavin Harris. Gavin Harris was a shag. Although my number two is basically the Gavin Harris of the real world. James Hunt. Who?

James Hunt, the old F1 rider. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He shagged 33 women in two weeks. Apparently,

he shagged like, those 33 women were all air stewardesses before his race in Japan. You've never seen Rush? They reckon he shagged over 5,000 women. Chris Hemsworth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's played James Hunt. Oh, that's James Hunt? Yeah. He died really early. Won one F1 title and then just got on the gear and... Famous in it. He's like big balls in the interviews as well. And number one, flick from a bug's life.

Oh, that's good. He is actually pretty underrated to be fair he fucking took down a whole fucking army of grasshoppers yeah did you watch A Bug's Life recently

no no that's quite impressive that it came to your head it's one of my favourite films fair play bro you'd be a boyo I already am a boyo but I'm not underrated

you're my boyo babe yeah I think I've got the best list high five choose should we connect hi I'm Barry've got the best list. High five, one, two, three, connect. Hi, I'm Barry Scott.

And put your list in the comments and please subscribe because we almost have 50,000 as well. And a lot of people were nice. And so we get a new set when you do. Yeah, fucking subscribe. Yeah, we just hit 40,000 here. Look at us, it's class. I feel like this set.

And a lot of people. Silly, silly, silly people. I don't know why we get set. A lot of people, you can see the percentage. A lot of people like watch every week but don't subscribe you big stiff idiot I'd much rather stay here this is my favourite set

no no I want the new comfy chairs I like the poles yeah if you have any lists as well you want us to do let us know in the comments

because we'll do them would you put that all below your arsehole for a million quid you'd die well would you do it no would you die

for a million pounds yeah I'd die for free do it come on do it? No. Would you die for a million pounds? Yeah. I'd die for free. Do it. Come on, do it. Baker's Butterfly? Floater, floater.

Oh, no. I'd like to say that this might be the last ever time we do a Baker's Butterfly. Why? I like Baker's. They're crap. No, it's good. Wait, when am I doing my one? Next episode or this one?

So to finish off, I've decided to go down the route of, I actually think Tom might prefer these ones to be fair. They're real life examples. They're meant to be real life! What have you been doing this whole time? I've got people to write in. Oh, he hasn't even done it himself.

Oh, you are a lazy bastard. You outsourced your work for the week. So my grandpa was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years ago. Sorry to hear that. No, not my grandpa. That's some random... Oh, well, you've got to give him a name.

Oh, let's call him Jeff. So it's Jeff's butterfly. I named him Jeff. It's Jeff's butterfly. It's Jeff's butterfly. We've got a new segment, guys. Yep. When he called to tell me, me being Jeff,

he only had six months to live. Quite sad. Wait, is this real? This is real, yeah. Oh, stop. Sorry. So I was out when he called me. And on the way home...

What the fuck is going on? No, you're alright, mate. I'm going to sort some stuff. Did he answer the phone and go, my name's Jeff? No, because my name's Jeff. No. My granddad's not Jeff.

No, he answered the phone to his granddad and he said, my name's Jeff. That's so shit. You're so weird. Well, you didn't get the fucking joke the first time because you thought his granddad's called Jeff. I'm like just shitting on the toilet, mate. Fuck me.

Is it J-E-F-F or G-E-O-F-F? J-E-F-F. J-E-F-F. Actually with a Y. No, it's my name's J-E-F-F. G-E-O-F-F? Yif. Hefe. Actually with a Y. No, it's my name, Yif. I stopped at the liquor store on the way home. Oh, she's American. She's American, yeah.

So that'll be... And I bought a bottle of... J-E-F-F. I bought a bottle of Ryan Reynolds gin. You should get yours at Morrison. Sorry. Anyways. Fucking hell.

It got me weird. What the hell was that? Go on, add read. Go on, add read. No, don't. What are you doing an ad read. No, I don't. What are you doing? Just tell the story, you weirdo. Stop doing that.

Can you imagine I went into an ad read and there's no things in ad reads? Jeff's ADHD. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Anyway, I bought a bottle of gin because I was obviously very sad

that my granddad had terminal terminal cancer. Double terminal. Anyways, guys, i'm in my room and my housemate or my roommate comes home and we drank for hours laughing crying and sharing deep personal stories about our lives with one another by the way my housemate she's a bird um well you can't say that he can a woman she's a bird she's a lovely young woman woman drunk

confident now and armed with the knowledge that we could die at any time I went in for a kiss what do you mean could die at any time we could get terminal cancer and die

so they've only just discovered that you can die at any time yeah well you just hit him hard man also terminal cancer doesn't you don't just die at any time anyways yeah i'm drunk and i finally got the courage i've gone in for a kiss with my roommate oh god yeah here we go turns out it was the granddad i was surprised she killed him she reciprocated me back from that night onwards we started dating

oh my god and then the granddad dying is them getting together isn't it that's what it is now the granddad died like a week before our wedding i just ruined the ending but he contributed to the beautiful life i now have which is kind of cute why should i up so anyway because he wouldn't exist without his great what where did you get that from he's on quora he's on like he said someone sent that in. Is that Reddit? Someone sent it in. See, is that that? Oh my God! Right. You're never doing this again. That is minimal effort at this point. That is zero effort.

And that is the end of Baker's podcast. He even gasped in hell. He said he got people to send it in. Theo, you just searched it. Final one, final one. No! You were just reading it off the internet. Or you didn't scroll to the next one.

No, you're not doing it right. The year was 1972. No, stop. Turn his mic off. I was being drafted into the army. Turn his mic off, because we've got other segments to do. No, that's not.

You fucking dick. I mean, this big room with maybe 200 fit lads. Stop talking. 25 chairs. We have a brand new, brand new feature. I'm very excited about this. do you know what this is? yeah of course I've read this

yeah of course it's called Crime Side with Tom Garrett yeah I know everyone you have to be more better than him

yeah it's True Crime with Tommy's Tanker yeah Crime True Crime True Crime True Crime who did it

who Crime who's gonna die next and Crime. True crime, true crime, true crime. Who did it? Who? Crime like a bird. Who's going to die next? And who did it? Death knife. Do it. Blood. Crime.

So. Crime like a bird. Let me try. I am crying. So this true crime conundrum, basically, I'm going to give you a story about a true crime. We have to work out who it is. If it's true or false. And I'm going to give you a story about a true crime. We have to work out who it is. If it's true or false. And I'm going to give you two options of who did it.

Oh, yeah. Who done it? You can play along at home. It might be three options. Yeah, baby. Right, so this one is called, do you want the headline? Yeah. Alien abduction claims in Yorkshire.

I already know this one. Right. A mysterious disappearance, a body with strange burns and an inexplicable substance that baffled scientists. Yeah! Zygmunt Adamski,

a 56-year-old miner, went missing near his home in Tingley near Wakefield in June 1980. Tingley. He only went out to do some shopping. Oh, what was he getting?

A cup of tea? To Zigmund's colleagues at Lofthouse Coilery, it was a complete mystery. Ready? Five days after he disappeared, Zigmund's body was discovered 20 miles from his home

at a coal yard in a Toddmoredom. Now, Toddmoredom at the time had a notorious knife wielder. He'd go around knifing people. Not the time had a notorious knife wielder he'd go around knifing people knife weirder yeah he went around knifing people to death specifically 50 year old plus men so i think he had yeah he was a younger guy but he went around he's jealous of the old wisdom possibly but however zigmund's body was lying on top of a pile of coal. He was wearing a suit.

He was wearing a suit, but his shirt, watch and wallet were missing. It wasn't Zygmunt Freud, no. Zygmunt Freud. It's Zed Zygmunt Adamski. Yeah. Now, James Turnbull,

and on the back of his head, neck and shoulders, were mysterious burns which attracted lots of attention. It had to come from the collar he was laying on. Well, this is what you need to figure out. Now, James Turnbull, the coroner who dealt with Zygmunt's death, says it's the biggest mystery of his career. Zygmunt, not Sigmund.

Zygmunt Freud, mate. The coroner is baffled because although Zigmund had been missing for five days he only had one day's

growth of beard oh fuck off how do they know that what wait wait wait so he's been gone five days only one day

beard has grown for one day how do they know that maybe he got his beard shaved by the dead he says the question this is a quote from the coroner the question of where he was I know that. Maybe he got his beard shaved by the dead. He says,

this is a quote from the coroner, the question of where he was before he died and what led to his death just could not be answered. Oh my God. Don't forget there's a fucking knife wielder going around. I've already solved it. James also said a strange ointment that appeared to have been used on Zygmunt's burns could not be identified by forensic scientists.

So you see where we're going here? Because it's in the fucking 50s, mate. It's aliens. It was. It was June 1980. Listen. It's alien juice. See how I come with actual dates and facts.

It's a shot at you there. Exhaustive checks failed to reveal any record of Zygmunt having been treated at any hospital during his missing five days. Yeah, because he's been at the guy knife-wooded house. Well, it was at this point that questions began occurring regarding the origin of this inexplicable ointment and who applied it to

Zygmunt. So in other words, people were probing him. They think people were probing him doing things and then put... How can they know if someone's is it like the arsehole's bigger? I don't think... No, that's not what... Well, no, but how can you know if there's been someone up there? It was just...

It was not just the usual investigators. The police and coroners who were attracted to the case. One of the most famous UFOlogists of all time, also called Adamski... What's Adamski, also called Adamski. What's Adamski? Also called Adamski, offered his own amazing theories. Oh, he was also called Adamski. Offered his own amazing theories on the tragedy.

He believed aliens from outer space abducted the miner. I think that's the miner. He's a miner, isn't he? But he's not a miner. The speculation of an extraterrestrial encounter was fuelled by policemen who originally found Zygmunt's body, Alan Godfrey. Six months after finding Zygmunt's body, Alan was again on duty in Todd Morden.

You remember that famous place? Todd Morden. At 5am. And he claims he encountered a UFO. Shut up. He says, I And he claims he encountered a UFO. Shut up. He says, I wish I'd never seen the UFO, particularly because of the effects on my children. It's not easy having a policeman as a father.

But when he's a policeman who saw a UFO, it's even worse. This is a huge turning point in Alan Godfrey's life. He left the police force and now has a new role as speaker at charity fundraising events. This is Alan Godfrey. He. He left the police force and now has a new role as speaker at charity fundraising events. This is Alan Godfrey. He looks like a normal bloke. It's definitely him. He looks like a guy who...

It's definitely him, isn't it? He did find the body, so... He looks like a serial killer. He's then he's blamed on UFO. The verdict. Oh, there we go. In the past 20 years, there have been many claimed sightings

in the Pennine Hills around Todd Mordham of these UFOs and the knife wielder. It's regarded as Britain's UFO hotspot, but serious UFO watchers dismiss most of these Pennine sightings as just lights in the sky. The coroner is equally unconvinced about the presence of paranormal activity although he still has a raft of

unanswered questions regarding Zygmunt's death James is opting for an earthly rather than alien explanation at present you tell me who done it it's the policeman you think

Alan Godfrey I think he's killed him yeah then he's blamed aliens and then he did blamed aliens and then he did find the body mate usually that is the and also the beard thing he killed him and he just didn't put his body there for like four days well doesn't your beard still grow when you're dead no or does it not you're dead aren't you he probably just shaved him to make it seem more like aliens he went yeah he killed him left him there went back and shaved him, left him again.

We just killed him four days ago and put his body out. You don't think the knife wielder had anything to do with it? Maybe he is the knife wielder, mate. He is the knife wielder. He didn't even get stabbed, so it's not the knife wielder. Adam Godfrey is the knife wielder. Alan. Steve.

He wasn't stabbed, was he? I don't know. He was bummed to death. There was a splooge all over him, though. Aliens is a possibility, but I think... No, it's not. You know how he was. He bumped to death. I don't think he's... Splooge all over him, though. Aliens is a possibility, but... No, it's not. It's not a possibility. Aliens is always a possibility.

It's not a possibility. But they have an agreement not to kill humans. It's not a possibility. With who? The government. We've been over this before. Fuck right off. They do.

I can't lie. We give them an amount that they can abduct, and then we say, don't kill them. Boris Johnson, when he was in power, he was going up, getting beamed up and then we say don't kill them Boris Johnson when he was in power he was going up getting beamed up and going don't kill us

and they go yeah and he's like we keep one of you's and you can take some of us and we'll communicate and that's how we

work together but anyways do you realise if you had said that story we'd be laughing at it saying you're

fucking mental I'm not saying it's right or wrong. He actually hasn't given us... Do you not know who the killer is? Alan Godfrey. Why have you picked an unsolved one? How are we going to figure out who it is?

Of course it's unsolved. There's no evidence of aliens. So it's probably Adam then? Alan. Alan. That was my theory. Also, I made up the knife wheel there. Actually? Because I needed an extra person Nice

It was definitely Yeah 100% the policeman And he found the body I think it sounds like him Normally it's whoever finds the body But he's never But he's never been like Even questioned or

Yeah because he's a policeman Yeah because they're in a town That all think aliens exist mate But I think maybe he found the body With someone else then, so then it couldn't have been him. Nah. This is a case for Mystery Inc.

Yeah. Anyway, let us know in the comments who you think killed Adam Smith. It was old man Wilkins! What? Scooby-Doo, man. Oh, boy. Ruby Roo? Ruby Roo.

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