Back Side - 7: Tom's FILTHY Night Out! Theo’s Camping NIGHTMARE & Are Mermaids Real?

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

Tom reveals how a recent night out in Manchester went VERY WRONG. Theo proves he is a man of the people by going camping. And Reev almost implodes as the lads ask the question... Do fish have hair?If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Name me a single fish that has fucking hair. Spot of Axe throwing ya. That is awful. Not real. I've got a stress factor in my foot, I believe,

which I'll get officially confirmed at the end of the week. So are you putting out the 100k race? Don't know yet. You should. If they say it's fine, then I'm going to run it, aren't I? If they say it's not fine. What happens if you actually die? I'm actually a bit concerned for you.

I'm not going to die if my foot you know what I watched a film yesterday about a boxer a true story who broke his spine

he broke his spine had like the whole rigging where they like they screw it in his head and shit was it a documentary like you walk around like this

and they're all like you're not going to walk again he's like I'm going to box again and they're all like you're not going to that's Miles Teller

in it did you watch Forrest Gump that is Miles Teller no it's Vin watch Forrest Gump that is Miles Teller no it's Vinnie Summit Vinnie Teller it's called Bleed for this

but then but then the doctor so the Bleed for this which is Miles Teller I thought you were talking about the boxer who was called Miles Teller oh yeah

I thought you meant the boxer aye but then if he listened to the doctors he would have still been in a wheelchair but no

he won the world title I'm saying don't listen to the doctors he would have still been in a wheelchair but no he won the world title I'm saying don't listen to the doctors they chat shit maybe if that is true you have cancer no they do chat shit

we've been on this when I had a finger in my bum so like clearly they just say things sometimes Lewis listen to what you're saying stop talking shit

if you get diagnosed with AIDS okay you're not going to go to the doctor no I don't believe you I'd say they're right more than

they're wrong. With a physical injury, I reckon you can just blag it. What are you on about? You can blag it. Blag it. I want you to like...

Well, you proved it. He didn't blag it. What do you mean blag it? You have surgery to correct his arm. by that logic,

why don't you just see better? Why don't we just kiss? Yeah, he's got you there. Oi, I've actually noticed that's my eyesight. Why don't you just look around better without glasses on bro

you know when you obviously you just touched 30 have you noticed your eyes are going yet no mate i find in the evening especially if i'm at like a train station you know those like you know the signs you know the glowing sign dim light yeah mate i find every time i get to the evening i'm like, what is that? I was waiting to see my physio the other day and I was in the waiting room and I was looking at where he normally walks out and there was loads of people walking out.

I was like, fuck, he could be any of them. No, seriously, like in the evening, my eyes get bad. Have you never met him before? I have, yeah. But I feel like I don't want to go to the opticians though because your eyes do get worse I didn't realise

I couldn't see for years they rely on the glasses so they get lazy so I'm holding out for as long as I can but it's only in the evenings and it's only when it gets dark in the evening

now they do now they do the little lazy bastards look at Harry Harry right he wears glasses a lot now used to be only for golf

yeah and if he plays golf without glasses they don't get lazy they get lazy how would you know fucking clear seeing eyes think about Thomas again He plays glasses a lot now. It used to be only for golf. Yeah. And if he plays golf without glasses... They don't get lazy. They get lazy. How would you not fucking clear seeing eyes? Think about it, Thomas.

They're all easy. They don't get lazy. They get lazy. Mate, you're basically wearing a sling for your eyes, okay? So if you hurt your arm and your thing, what happens when you wear a cast? Your leg wastes away. They start to rely on it, yeah.

They're not lazy. They are lazy. You can't be. No, because they could do it. They could do it. Listen to what you're saying for a second. Don't be dumb, okay? Oh on it, yeah. They're not lazy. They are lazy. They can't be. No, because they could do it. They could do it. Listen to what you're saying for a second. Don't be dumb, okay? Oh, yeah, sorry.

Your eyes become lazy because they're relying on the glasses. I get it. Then you take the glasses away and the eyes are kind of... You need to do eye work, Hal. They begin to rely on... No, yeah. So they get lazy. They can't...

It's not being lazy. Yes, it is, because they could do it before, but now they're like... They're not choosing not to do it. Well, I think they are. This one, definitely. You've got blindness, innit? When you're blind, you don't see dark.

You see nothing. No, you do see... People who are blind can actually see as well. No, you don't. That is true. Most people aren't 100% blind. No, but also,

say you're fully blind, right? So this is... That is very... That's so rare. No, you've seen, you see nothing that is black. No, it's not. How do you know?

You see nothing. How do you know? You don't see anything. How do you know? Okay, do you see nothing that is black no it's not how do you know you see nothing how do you know anything how do you know okay do you see out your fingers no listen to what i'm saying can you see out your fingers lou lame kook try and see out your fingers right you can't so you're seeing nothing you're not seeing darkness you're not seeing black you see nothing i'm actually speaking this is actually true yeah carry on this is actually true so for example okay close one eye right yeah close one eye do it now close it cover it up close it you're not seeing black out of that eye you'll see nothing i see black if you close both eyes then you see black no i see black out this eye when you close one eye all your light only goes in one eye right so you're only seeing that one eye so this was basically turning off you see nothing no he thinks he's cooking

he thinks he's doing something no I actually it's actually but if you close both eyes you then see darkness one eye you see nothing two eyes you see darkness you have to see something Theo

you fuck you you don't no I'm serious I'm so serious I'm so serious if you're blind don't see darkness

you see nothing should we just do the rest of the pod like this yeah what you actually don't you don't believe me because it's me saying it do the rest of the pod like this yeah what you actually don't you don't believe me because it's me saying it yeah because you're the guy

who I'll prove it the finger thing is true you can't see out your fingers I agree I believe you can't see out your hands no you're right

yeah I know it sounds a bit stupid but what I'm saying is actually true but we aren't we aren't medical professionals, are we? Well, clearly I am. I'll be kidding.

It's like trying to achieve a different sense, let's say, of, I don't know, taste with your eyeballs. You can't do that. For example. Only certain parts of your body achieve certain senses. Have you seen like a scary movie where aliens piss out the fingers? No, I haven't seen that. It's like, do you know how we see our eyes maybe aliens do

yeah yeah yeah I do well think how helpful that is see you can see how your finger right and he's like if you want to look around the corner in war yeah yeah over the top yeah

where's he at why are you living in one room if you're a footballer actually if you could see out your finger you scan about quick as you quick but you could do that with your head no but that's quicker

this is like turn your head this quick hang on you're telling me when aliens achieve this amazing feat of seeing out their fingers and whatnot

and they play football the way they play football is they've got they're running around like this when they cross that then they cross it forward the whole pitch oh right so they don't even have. No, they can't do that. Then they can't see forward. The whole pitch.

Oh, right. So they don't even have eyes eyes. No, they don't have these. They just have these. Oh my God. That's even worse. I'd sort of play with these. They've got more vision out of my fucking eyes

than my fingers. You know what I mean? You know a chicken or another example is a sperm whale or a blue whale, right? Do they see GoPro 360? Because if you're... We see straight.

If your eyes are on your temples, looking out sideways, how would you create a field of vision? Do you just see two screens? They sense vibrations. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but it kind of makes up the rest of what... No, they sense vibrations.

To look forward, they have to do this. Look forward? Yeah. But then one eye... It's like we have a blind... No, most fishes are blind because they have to do this. Look forward? Yeah. But then one eye... It's like we have a blind eye. No, most fishes are blind because they don't need eyes. Horses don't need to turn to see forward. They can sort of see forward though,

but like some animals literally are like full on sideways. Because they have better ears. What's their vision? You're not talking about their ears. They can move. I'm sure they can see forward. What's their vision though? Do you see what I mean?

Is it like a GoPro 360 where it has like 180 field of view? I'm saying they need they use other sensors so we rely lords on our eyes. I get what you're saying but that's not what I'm asking. I get what you're saying

but they don't need to say hold. Wales have sonar I get that but we can't use sonar so we can only relate through the eyes. That's why we look

through the eyes. We created sonar though. Alright. Tell us about your trip to Manchester boys how was that? We got invited by the City Pitch and I did It's Tell us about your trip to Manchester, boys. How was that? We got invited by the City Pitch.

Yes, he had. He had, Tom. Yeah, yeah. Let's look at the end story straight away.

So it was a fantastic opportunity, Tom, you know, to go play at the champion. The weather was shit anyway.

The Premier League champions play out their pitch and we stayed at the hotel. You relished that opportunity, didn't you yeah I was so

excited man I was excited to see what it's like I'm not like you big dogs playing on pitches every day you literally played on one last week

you've literally played twice in a week yeah how times change you know and then we went for a little beer on the night yeah we joined by

Aaron Hunt and then one beer turned into two you can always tell when Tom's drunk, you know, when he starts posting stories and it's just the same thing

on every story. It's Tom going, oh, you're so lucky to be here, man. Oh, you're so lucky to be here, man. Oh, it's the same joke every time, man.

I like the, I like the, what's the paragraph? Oh, is Aaron Hunt so lucky? No, everyone's like, fair play. It's not so lucky.

Fair play to Aaron Hunt. Oh, fair play. The joke that he hated in our group chat and all of a sudden it's not so lucky. Fair play. The joke that he hated in our group chat and all of a sudden it's on his story. My favourite ones are when Tom does

five consecutive stories of splitting the G. It's just him just like, and then like zooming into Mullet and he's just like, what? You know your Mullet mate,

what's his name again? Oh, Jack. You'd be like, oh, good shot mate. He wasn't there though. You'd be like, oh good, Jack. He wasn't there though, I'm talking about a specific... Why'd you ruin him? Why'd you ruin him?

Carry on with your night. I'm like him. How many pints did you guys get through? I don't know. We didn't eat was a big problem because we were meant to get food. We went to get food and when we went into the place,

they stopped serving so we literally just had crisps and nuts. That was it then about you could have gone somewhere to eat yeah we could have it was

no we were settled we were watching the foot it was only me and him and then Aaron came it was your rugby league final yeah yeah you gotta watch

the football with the drinks man Aaron came and then Jack we went over the road Jack Joseph and Cole came and there

I saw your story about Jack Joseph what what it and they're like... I saw your story about Jack Joseph. What? What? It was mean to him. Oh, isn't it? You were like calling him a fat lard.

Was I? Yeah. What? Bambino Becky. Jack's meant to be really good on that out. Yeah, it was a good laugh and then it went

into Albert Schloss and then all I remember was only me and Aaron left. Wait, you went Albert Schloss and Manny? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so... You all left

and then it was just me and Aaron left. Do you know why we left because we had a 9 o'clock bus the morning after to go play at the Yeti yard I was fucking smashed I'm a lightweight as it is

then I'm getting messages off him oh no no no no no because I looked through these yesterday because I was like throwing up in the sink

and it looked like a chicken tikka masala nah nah nah so I just got disgusting I listened to the voice messages and I was like, fuck's sake.

You really hammered? Yeah. I was gone. I got home. How many minutes did you play the day after? We'll get into that. Why are you saying that?

Why the fuck have you not... Why have you done it in the sink? Why is the plug not... Yeah, so this is the... Why haven't you done it down the corner? Have you pushed the plug down to make sure you...

This is the thing. Lewis, how old are you? This is the thing. You're a 25-year-old man asking tips on how to get rid of sick. Three in the morning. I was drunk, so I managed to do this, but I had to put my hand into the sick. And I had to like twizzle about. I'm one of the voice messengers.

I'm voice messaging you whilst my hand's in the sink and I'm going I'm going I'm guessing he stood out at this point no no I was back at that point then I remember

then I put in the I don't know why I thought I'd wait so by the time that you got home which was about three o'clock he's still just diddy dally

yeah I went home ages ago this is how bad it was this is how bad it was I This is how bad it was. I was in bed, I woke up the morning after and I went on safari and on safari,

my last search was how to stop drank. So like, I was, must've been fucking smashed in the bed. I was sober up, man,

I was sober up. So desperate to sober up, I was like, Googled it and passed out. Fucking, and then, yeah, so then,

I'll put in the group chat at like half, like three in the morning what time have we got to be up tomorrow obviously no one

was going to answer because no one actually had confirmed when it was nine it was confirmed in the chat

everyone knew everyone knew so you and Aaron Hunt stayed up till three I wasn't told that

and then the next thing I remember that he's the cleaner Wagon Wheel bear in mind I only had one missed

call Lewis rang me once that was it no one was that worried he rejected you

it rang twice and you declined it maybe but I thought he's either

on his way right now or he was just like so drunk I didn't know you someone would have known you could have asked the reception by the way you can't blame us or he was just like so drunk he didn't care. Why don't you knock on his door? Yeah, why didn't you come to my room? I didn't know your room.

Someone would have known. You could have asked the reception. By the way, you can't blame us. You, Celestin, you're a big boy. I'm just saying. By the way, if that was you, I would have come to your room. By the way, can I be honest? I did not give a shit about you,

because I was hanging on for dear life. I was fucking, I came down, and I was, that's Jack when you see him, I was there just leaning like, ugh. I was stinking of puke. We had to get on the bus there, and he was stop, stop when you see him I was there just leaning like we have to get on the bus then he was stop start you know what

you after throwing up and mouth breathing must be the worst concoction I can't that breath must have been

I can't express how bad it was am I weird here but when you's ill does a wank help you what no

I don't have the energy you had a wank in the morning? I tried. I thought it would make me feel less sick. When I'm feeling ill, all I want to do is just go. No, no, no. Let's ask the real question. What are we thinking of?

Nah, you just try and get a bit. Scoring up my team, man. Imagine the goal. No, but I thought it cures you a little bit. It makes you feel a bit better. But I couldn't. My dick was work. That's what you do the night before.

My dick was like like I'm asleep man wait what time do you wake up I go up like half eight and stumble down and then I mean I was so sick I swear to god I thought I was going to be

like the first person to be sick on the pitch like we're having a runabout first person to be sick on the pitch oh it was so fucking bad you were only playing for like 20 minutes I didn't really miss much

no I fell down on the pitch after a while I started running about but then the train back I was I had to go to the toilet I just like was fucking gonna be sick again

yeah it was brutal can't believe it so you get this great opportunity yeah to play at the Etihad and both of you can't handle your drink

and decided I know what we'll do we'll go on a mad one instead say it recently you traded your nights out for nights in a tent nights outside yeah so you in a tent nights outside

yeah so you should have said nights outside yeah guys went camping well just to flake the people yeah cause you know by the way

I guarantee it was glamping yeah it was glamping I'll show you my tent if you want I can't wait I had the ultrasonic

hot 3000 with extra thermal conditioning yeah there it is there it is most people just buy like a pop-up one you have to get like

it's number one rated on fucking homes for you that's the normal thing it's literally an Amazon base what's your sleeping bag

that is not 15 quid what's your sleeping bag double bed yeah what are you nah I had a mattress you had a you had an air bed

what do you mean a mattress you took a bed mattress and put it in your I'll show you oh my god this Tory conference is going to be crazy that's even worse

that's worse you took a bed mattress nah I'll show you what it is did you bring pillows from home as well no spare bed at home so we bought this like foldable

so we bought this like foldable mattress oh you're such a Tory so I just whacked it in the car yeah it was just spare in the house like this foldable mattress yeah trouble're such a toy so I just whacked it in the car yeah it was just spare in the house like this foldable mattress yeah trouble light

and that you know what's that thing there look one of the people one of these things oh my he brought a proper mattress that's a proper mattress

that is a proper fucking he's got a mattress he brought a mattress camping why did you fit it in the car why not I need good lumbar support for my injuries what injuries

I had to get my 8.5 hours in. It says on my whoop. Yeah, I actually did. Went into Brighton and just bumped into all my mates. Bummed into all your mates. Oh, he did bump them as well. Bumped into them.

It was class. Had a few drinks. It's the first time you see them in like 10 years before you made it. A couple of weeks. Wait, so you went into Brighton Central

and then went back out to the campsite? Yeah. Are they the ones you cut off when you went all the way to the campsite? When your friends were KSI and are they the ones you cut off when you're all the sides when your friends are KSI

best mates Harry and Dan those are made up names have you ever had a wild shit before no I did it and someone was like

walk past with a dog and that it's like started licking my it was like a beater I only put peanut butter on it and they were like

you can go inside Lewis you don't have to do it on the front lawn tell us right there, mate. Now, showering outside is quite wholesome. It's like vibey. It's like, whoa, whoa. I bet you did it with your boxers on, didn't you?

What? I bet you did. How about, why don't we do pitch side camp, I mean, backside camping? I'd love to do it. Backside camping trip. I'd do that. I'd go to a rural field like we were at.

There was no facilities there. No, not rural field. You want to go like wild camping. I'd happily drive to a lake, man. You're going to go wild camping. I'd happily drive a car into a lake, man. You've got to go serious camping like in Scotland. What? Yeah, in the Highlands. Oh, do you know what?

Not on a campsite. That's like proper camping where you find your spot, you gather some things. Yeah, I did notice. Catch some fish from the river. It is like, if you go there, it's very important you actually get good tanks. Obviously, mine was...

Oh, for fuck's sake. No, no, no, mate. No, you don't. No, you don't. No, you don't. Let me talk, man. Otherwise... Mine was freezing. Mine was freezing.

My head was a grizzly bear. No, as in... I don't know who designed this tent like this, but the top of it was just like air vent mesh. And then it had like a... It's probably for summer, though. It had like a rain cover, but it meant like we were just outside, basically.

It was fucking freezing. Yeah, it's probably for summer. It's probably for like really hot summer nights. You bought a summer tent. Anyway, I want to talk about my favourite part of the show. And you've been researching. I've done loads of research this week, by the way. Is it your favourite part?

I mean, like, we kind of hate it. Yeah, I hate it, but I love it. I've done some research for you today. We've got the jingle. Yeah, go on, jingle boy. Lewis and his weird facts. That's not what you did last time. What did I do last time?

I can't remember. It was like, Lewis has learned stuff. Lewis has learned stuff. Lewis and learned. No, Lewis has learned stuff. Lewis and his learning. Lewis has learned stuff. Just sign, Lewis has learned stuff. He didn't say it. Lewis and his learning. No. Lewis has learned stuff. Just saying.

Lewis has learned stuff. So what did we, last week, what did we learn? I taught you about. We didn't learn anything. No, we did. We did.

Mushrooms. I learned that you can tell me one thing and it makes me want to actually hurt you physically. Oh, you said mushrooms are aliens. Mushrooms are aliens. Yeah, mushrooms are from space. We learned about about you thought cats were pyramids

no you thought pyramids were cats you can't even remember what we said we used to brush our teeth with mouse brains that's true and some other shite

and all these people there were giant animals during the Egyptian time that's why they made these things that was your thing that was your thing you're just misremembering

other people's facts now the final one was some fucking dog shit fact anyway. We were going to go into

space and stuff. To the people correcting my facts in the comments, fuck you off because mine's

correct. It honestly annoys me so much. I've got quite a few this week. I think should we start off

with an easy one? Because we were on about brains earlier. Before you get into these, can I start off with an easy one? Because we were on about brains earlier. You know, before you get into these, can I ask how you

come about finding... Oh, I know how he does it. The mushroom one. He just watched Jeremy Clarkson's Farm. And that's how he found it. They told him in there.

It's just from my day-to-day life where I've learned stuff. So I've been watching Clarkson's Farm. So you hear something and you go, that's probably a fact. I'm going to not research that. I'm guessingash as well. So you hear something and you go, I'll write it down and I'll learn about it.

That's probably a fact. I'm going to not research that. I'm guessing like Caleb or someone has mentioned it. I'll research it. It's like scrolling TikTok, seeing videos, you know. I've learned facts to blow your mind. So what, this one. This is Mojo's top five weirdest facts.

So let me start with this one. So this is Clash. It's called, it's essentially the world. It's not every single one. it's called it's essentially the world every single one it's called last thursday ism and essentially it means got me hooked already come on it's so good so essentially like can you prove to me that the world wasn't invented last thursday what can you prove that uh well yeah i've got footage and photos of me from before that yeah i i remembered last wednesday so i know yeah wrong oh sorry yeah sorry go on carry on so

essentially what if that was created also last thursday how can you prove that the world and the universe around us did not begin last thursday because is from 10 years ago because I'm not a week I'm not a week I'm not a week old no no no so you could have been created in your current form now last Thursday

with all the memories as if you lived all this life but the world was created there and then yeah but I've got things that yes but the Gregorian calendar

shows that I existed longer than 8 days ago there's ample amounts of proof that we yeah but what was that created last Thursday let's like branch it out

so say I was creating a simulation I'm creating a world I say back I'm not hooked anymore so say I was creating a world I would you need to create adults

in that world and you have to give those adults memories so that they feel like because if you create like a world of people some have to be adults and the adults can't be like

I can't remember 20 years ago so you'd implant memories into each of them and then you could've just created them like that they think they've existed all this time

but in reality they've been around since last Thursday I set a timer two weeks ago and it's still going is that related or no but the point is

you can't prove it it doesn't let you you cannot prove it start a timer from like an hour in that's the whole thing with last death it's a big movement

at the moment no you can prove it there's so much proof it's a big movement it's not a big movement it a big movement it is it goes by some people call last tuesday is but those people are wrong it's last thursday what about the dinosaurs so that's all like been created last thursday by who who's created this now you get onto the right questions now you're asking the right things simulation no right no no think about right the way ai is going right now how would they how if it was a simulation surely you'd simulate it so the people

inside it wouldn't figure out it's a simulation last well do you know what they made us so smart that the ai has made us so smart that we are now smarter than the ai essentially and you figure it out and also you can't say that because I'm the only one who switched on. Use the thick bastards thinking the world existed beyond my Thursday. He has a point because, I'll give you two examples, right? One example. You're in the Amazon rainforest and you see a bunch of ants. And you find a tent.

Imagine you can talk to ants. Just imagine, right? Yeah, right. You say to this ant. Already this is not great no you say to this and just so you know but the whole world is like bigger than this little area and there are humans there's other and it's fish that fly all this stuff but there are fish that fly yes there are called. What? They're briefly out of the water. Let's go back. There's not fish.

That's not what I'm saying. I can fly. If you said this, and the ant would go, I don't believe you. That's crazy. That's doolally. That's not what...

You're just talking about different species in the animal kingdom that don't experience different parts of the world that we do. We're not saying it's been created last week.

Okay, then we go on to the uncontacted tribes in the Amazon rainforest. Uncontacted. And they also speak to ants. No, they don't speak to ants. Fucking idiot. They speak to monkeys.

It's a bit different. They actually do. They speak in like... What? That's what I said. No, it's true. I heard it on a podcast. I heard it on a podcast.

They do it on a podcast. Sure, that's not just another thing. What do you mean they do it on a podcast. They do it on a podcast. That's not just another thing. What do you mean they do it on a podcast? So these uncontacted tribes have flew over to like America and went on a podcast and started going, oh, oh, oh. They've heard them.

So this guy. It's not just some guy on the microphone going, oh, oh, oh. No, this guy was in, he works in the Amazon rainforest. I'd listened to a podcast actually. What's his name? Paul Rascoli.

Oh no. I think it's rascoli rascallion and um he comes into contact with him every now and again and he got scared once because you can always tell when it's not a monkey it's like them they communicate to each other through noises so you don't and even though you can't understand the language in there doing it to basically like the fuck you're getting off topic anyways the point is thanks to you the point is if you go to these um there's there's these things that right that fly around the earth you might be the most boring person and transport there's these things that fly around the earth and transport humans and

then did you know oh we can also like fly to the moon what are you even on about anymore they would say I don't believe you I don't believe you prove it

what are you on about you're saying nothing this is so boring to listen to they would say prove it you've been boring and here we go

and you could prove it right Lewis next and I've come full circle and you could prove it, right? Louis next. Louis. And I've come full circle. And you could prove it. So Louis. Wait, wait. Let me finish the circle.

And I said to Louis, I can prove it. I don't know what just happened. Right. Well, that's last Thursday-ism. So it's a big movement going on. It's not a big movement. One of the stupidest things you ever said, mate.

That gives me flat earth vibes. It is a big movement. All right. This one is fucking mint. I've done loads of research on this. I say this about every single one. Philosopher's Stone is real. I can believe that.

Isn't that like the Fountain of Youth? No, this is real. I can believe that. In the Amazon, they actually do have a lot of different medications. You watched the documentary in the Amazon. That will actually cure a lot of diseases. Yeah, but the Philos's stone is just immortality right no no it's a it's a stone that exists that's lost no no no i'm asking the embodiment of the power of the philosopher's stone provides immortality that's correct well i'm glad you asked i know what you watched recently

who indiana jones no i'm asking it, I'm asking... I'm asking for a refresh of what the Philosopher's Stone does. So it can change iron into gold and silver. It is also the elixir of life. So it can cure immortality and cured illnesses. Where is it?

Well, that's a good question, Steele. So essentially, this... In a book. It can turn stuff from on it can legitimately turn stuff from like silver to i mean i into gold come in contact with it i don't know i'm not an expert on like we make a lot of research on it so it's like apparently it's like transparent and it's shaped like an egg uh some people do think it's not even a stone but roger boyle the father of chemistry searched for the stone the father how can you

realize people have also searched for bigfoot bigfoot israel by the way saskatchewan and um we'll get on that treasure as well whose treasure was it do you know what there's something like there's some really really fucking doolally people in this world yeah two of them are here man yeah fucking hell why do you think he's banging on about someone's treasure and you're talking about a see-through egg that cures

fucking every disease on the planet no no it sounds crazy but because it is the lost inker no no

what the fuck is he on about so Isaac Newton himself mentioned the stone in some of his work. Now this is, no, because the thing about, right,

before I go on, there's lots of things from our past. I can get the idea of there's some sort of weird creation for alchemy that turns one metal

into another metal. And saves lives. No. No. But there's not a stone. That's what it does. There's not a stone where you fucking hold it.

Right, how about this you're cured of every disease right think about all the people that should have died but are still alive what does that mean

because this I was going to link it into this later on but you know you have like everyone's like worship has been like this owl god

and that and like like they have humiliation rituals uh Lou I actually might know where your

philosophy stone actually is i feel like non-existent move on no no no no no no no sir isaac newton spoke about it he invented gravity i'm sure he knows about it he discovered gravity anyways louis it might be here in france now i don't know if you guys have heard about lourdes? Yeah, the well. So there's this fountain of youth, essentially, that provides miracles to the world. And if you drink said water, it will cure your diseases. And there's been over like 200 known miracles, right? Which are actual cures.

How are you riffing this off like a team? I've got a lot up here, you know. Actually, no, I just wanted to see what it's called. I've got a lot up here. I actually knew, no, I just wanted to see what it's called. I forgot what it's called. What a load of bollocks. So why can't the philosopher's stone exist?

Maybe that is an alien science that came in a meteor that's beyond our thing and we think it's magic, but in reality, it's technology. It's a transparent egg that you have to shove up your bum.

So if no one's got it and no one knows there is, how do people know it exists? Let me tell you right now, Tom. I'm glad you asked. Nicholas Flamel. Shut up. That's literally Harry Potter, you fucking idiot.

No, no, no. No. Are you sure? Are you a Harry Potter fiction fan page right now? You know why he just said Nicholas Flamel? That's nearly Headless Nick from Harry Potter. That's literally the character in Harry Potter. John Cleese, the actor, plays that character in Harry Potter.

No, that's Sir Nick, not Nicholas Flamel. Yes, it is. It's Nicholas Flamel in Harry Potter. That's his name. Read it. Nicholas Flamel sold books in Paris. In 1382, he turned lead into wood using a historic book on alchemy.

Someone's playing a joke online. No, this is real. No, this is documented. Someone's playing a joke. It's documented. Use that name. It's fan fiction. No, it's documented.

You fucking idiot. It's documented. It's documented. He's the fiction no it's documented you fucking idiot it's documented it's documented he's the last known guy to have had the stone and he faked his own death so he could keep working on the stone

but how do they know he faked his death well see this is what I mean do you know what Nicholas Flamel looks like not the Harry Potter one do you do you

he could still be alive now with the philosopher's stone with our mortality because we don't know what he looks like oh they're not even the same person either

Nicholas Flamel is actually not nearly headless Nick. We should apologise for that. But he's actually in Harry Potter. Yeah, so... Is Flamel in Harry Potter? Yeah, but he's not

nearly headless Nick. No, he's not. Of course he's not. Well, you agreed. I didn't. You did. Except Flamel was in Harry Potter. You think someone holds a stone

and they're immortal? No, I doubt it works like that. You probably just have to add some chemicals on that. Oh, yes, don't worry. It could have been like a stone that like back in the day and it did like this one special thing. Why are you talking? No, hear doubt it works like that. You probably just have to add some chemicals on that. Oh, yes, don't worry. It could have been like a stone that like back in the day and it did like this one special thing. Why are you talking?

No, hear me out. There could have been like a stone back in the day that like did something. You've got a stone? Someone recovered from an illness and they went, oh my God, it's confirmation bias. And then next thing you know, it snowballs and snowballs. Next thing you know, it's a philosopher's stone.

It's in Harry Potter. Can I just say, see, that makes sense. Yeah. That does make sense. Can I just say, the Sir Isaac Newton thing I do think he's overrated to fuck I mean

do you know anything about him you have not the foggiest about what he's done do you know anything all I want to say all I want to say is if you put me back in time now

I would discover all that shit so quickly yeah because you already know about it you donkey no no I would be like why does my aunt do that

Isaac Newton is one of the greatest Englishmen to ever live yeah yeah but it's easy but he had it easy back then now it was sorted you donkey no no I would be like why does my hand do that Isaac Newton is one of the greatest Englishmen to ever live yeah yeah but it's easy but he had it easy back then that was sorted do you know what he was the master of

physico physico nah phylloxia mate self phylloxia he was the master of mint

what yeah why did he say that Isaac Newton former master of the mint the mint the mint no the mint's like the money shit master of the mint the mint no the mint's like the money shit

isn't the mint like money yeah there's a building in London it's not like yeah the maker of British coins he also apparently

developed maths master of mint do you want to spit think about if you did bring like an iPhone

back to like zero BC. Now, why have you gone that way? They would think like, Jesus, you're a wizard. You'd probably die. You're a wizard. Yeah, they'd kill you. Yeah, they'd kill you.

It's like you're a witch. You've rocked it. If you rocked up with like, if you're, say, a woman going back to the 1400s and you go, hello, everyone, this is my iPad. They'll go witch and burner. No, but they wouldn't because you'd have your iPad and you could just Google the hell. No, you couldn't, no. Could you, Tom? Because tom because no wi-fi back in the day it was no internet did no 5g there's no satellites in the sky it was a joke it'd be useless it wouldn't work

if it ran out of battery you wouldn't be able to charge it it was a joke that's why you take a lightning cable back with you yeah do you know back into a potato back in the day you take your ee power wi-fi power pack with you and a charger you fine you can plug it into a potato it's fine no you'd have a charger, are you fine? You can plug it into a potato, it's fine. No, no, you'd have a wireless power. No, you can literally just plug it in a potato

and it'll work. It fees a couple of potatoes. No, it's one potato, isn't it? Did they, it doesn't work. Cognitive load bias. Sorry, what have you just said?

Coconut bias, what did you say? Cognitive load bias, go on, let's explain yourself. Well, you have no cognitive thoughts, this will be interesting. So do you remember

when I told you I forgot Charlie's dad's name? Yeah. I've been trying to think of it for the last two weeks, I couldn't remember

it at all. Two weeks. You could have just asked that. Yeah, I swear to God, no, I asked her last night.

And you forgot? I feel like he just paused and went, did you get shouted at? No, I remembered it, yeah, I've got it.

I couldn't remember it and I'm still sure that's not his name. But essentially, I was thinking, did you get shouted at? No, I remember. Yeah, I've got it. I couldn't remember. And I'm still sure that's not his name. But essentially, I was thinking, how mad is that, you know, that I forgot his name?

I mean, if you've met him a lot, then yeah, that's weird. Yeah. So essentially though, the reason that is is because my cognitive load bias

is different to yours. Yeah. So essentially, when I'm taking in so much new information and everyone has their own, that you have to like choose something to yours. Yeah, so essentially, I've taken in so much new information and everyone has their own that you have to choose something to delete. Yeah.

So I've chosen to delete that and I've been taking in all so much other information. That explains a lot. This is actually the best thing you've said on this. So I have a little hard drive and it's like... Very little hard drive.

So if you tell me, tell me a fact here now. You're an idiot? Romans... Romans... Yeah? Had nine toes. What?

That's just not true. It is. They chopped one off as a kid. Why? Why? That's like a ritual, isn't it? You can't just say... That can't be right. You can't just say you don't know. That can't be right.

You can't say the fact that it isn't behind it. It's like some coming of age ritual or something. That can't be right. So they were just rocked around without a toe? Little toe, yeah. Thanks to his dribble there, I've just removed something. But I don't know what I forgot,

but he's just like, because my hard drive's cloaked. Oh, no, no, that's not how it works. No, it is. No, Mike, no, it is. No, it's not Mike. No, no, it's not. No, listen, listen. No, no, no, no. It is, it is. You're implying that, it is. No, it is. No, no, no. You're taking it the wrong way. No, no. Listen, listen.

No, no, no. It is. It is. You're implying that it's a one-in-one-out system. No, it is. It is because I'm chock-a-blocking here. I'm like fucking... Jesus, you're not.

I'm telling you, you're not. No, no, I am. My hard drive is full now. It's not. It is. It is full. Does it work with memories as well? Yeah.

I feel like I've lost a lot of memories recently. Yeah, I think so. Every place where new ones... I feel like between the years of like 2018 to 21 i don't really remember so yeah so essentially if someone has a good memory of when they're young or a good memory in general it means they're not learning new things yeah i have a shit memory your neural connection isn't severed from the previous thing that you learn it is how do you improve your memory you have to delete something it's like you have a hard drive.

It's full. I can't put that on without deleting. No, because then there's going to be circumstances and situations where you might have forgot something and then someone brings something up that's not related to what you've had as a memory

and you go, oh, that's just reminding me of something, blah, blah, blah. But that's too much for you to put. That never happens to me. So don't jump down my throat on this one. Try not to.

So the lost city of Atlantis yeah that's a real thing we know that we know it's a real thing you know it's real yeah it is real

yeah we know just like the Incas they're all underneath the Amazon rainforest no but this is like oh well this was very easy

I thought you were going to tell me it's stupid so essentially Atlantis existed I'm not sure about what's his name who comes from it

Aquaman no it's not Aquaman what's his name Aquaman yeah it is Aquaman yeah Jason Momoa there's the other one who has like the spear

not Hercules Poseidon Poseidon no the little mermaid no no Poseidon's the king of there's a war one

maybe it's Aquaman is Aquaman like a Greek god or is that just a DC character he's the king of Cyprus maybe it's Aquaman is Aquaman like a Greek god or is that just a DC character he's based on like a proper Greek guy

who existed Poseidon Poseidon mate but essentially yeah there was this underwater world no I don't think it was an underwater

world it wasn't at the time but because of the way it went underwater it went underwater Lewis you know Venice right

it wasn't an underwater city okay this is where we differ no because in a hundred years time lewis venice is going to be underwater yeah it was no but back then it was so you have to so that's no you know they didn't fucking breathe underwater they were normal it just got it went underwater no no after the presuming the ice age or whatever no no no

a bit early on that Tom ice age no so this is what I mean so it's different technologies so the pyramids you had like different technologies to do this

this is another example of different technologies except for yeah but it was underwater I don't know what no it wasn't no no no

we're getting silly it wasn't why do they got stairs in it if it's underwater they I don't know what size. No, no, no, no, no. We're getting silly. It wasn't. Why do they got stairs in it if it's underwater? They could just swim up the road. Why are you presuming there's stairs? I have not told you there's stairs. You presumed there was stairs and then questioned why.

By the way, there's no like, you're acting like they're these, you know when they find these lost cities and that and there's like buildings and that. There's no like buildings of Atlantis. No, no, no these lost cities and that, and there's like buildings and that, there's no like buildings

of Atlantis. No, no, no. It's like markings you can see from like, yeah, so this is so,

it was, it was underwater, I swear down, it was underwater. People didn't live underwater, Lewis. Can you just hear me out

and then you can make a decision. So essentially, there was this underwater world called Atlantis and it was like extremely fucking modern and futuristic and they had all this like tech,

so I don't know what sort of sciences that they know of how to. called Atlantis and it was like extremely fucking modern and futuristic and they had all this like tech so I don't know what sort of sciences that they know of how to they took ghillie weeds and they could breathe underwater

but like they did something to contain either oxygen or they would like a different breed stop doing that because you're making a hard

so essentially yeah Atlantis existed and there's this geezer who heard of it over in Greece. And he's like, oh, these rumors real. So he went over to Egypt whilst they were still in the process of building.

What was his name? Plato. Troy. Yeah, Plato. Plato. I don't even know who Plato is. Do you know who Plato is? You are a fucking idiot.

Beyond belief. What? You've never heard of Plato? Yeah, no, Plato. Plato yeah so he went to Egypt oh yeah man Plato man the fucking fish man you think Plato was living

underwater in Atlantis no no no he was in Greece and this Atlantis world so this is 9th I don't want to spoil it so essentially Plato he's like I heard of this

lost city of Atlantis right underwater and he went to no no no no no no there you go again about underwater it wasn't underwater it was

this was a lost city. There's proof. There's proof this was underwater. Yeah, no. Obviously, that's when it got lost. Wait, save it until he finishes. No, no, no.

Let me just finish me. How do you think it became lost? Right. Tom, let him finish, then let Reeves think. All right. He probably doesn't know something, right? Okay, let me just refresh

man because you're making us laugh so Plato started in Greece he's like this lost city of Atlantis so then he goes to Egypt because he's like right you used to doing some crazy stuff with your pyramids and he went to speak to them and he was like yeah I've heard about this lost city of Atlantis have you heard anything and he was and the person there was like yeah 9 000 years ago a bit late man so 9 000 years ago think this is 9 600 before christ bc that they had the lost it no bc that's fucking choose to clear in what bc that's close to the fucking dinosaurs which is why they probably lived alongside them no way near the dinosaur what are you on about no way near the dinosaur dinosaurs are 20 million yeah but you have to build they didn't just appear

underwater. They had to develop and evolve. They had to develop and evolve. Over 20 million years. So if they're underwater, there's

probably a creature on land, they say, that pushed them underwater to get away. That's why they did it. 66 million years ago

dinosaurs had a bad day. Yeah. I yeah humans have existed for 66 I'm not necessarily saying these are humans you have to remember we came from the

water there's nothing to say that there wasn't a subsection of us that stayed in the water the same way that some of us stayed apes we turned into humans

other of us stayed apes so 9000 we came from the water in terms of like you know single cell organisms no no we were like a little it was like this little whale thing yeah so one could have stayed

in the water because like mermaids it's like a bit of stuff like forms there's a bit of stuff of mermaids possible not like the way you imagine the whole story yeah uh reeve just went on uh the history channel uh one of the one of the top theories Channel. One of the top theories. Corrupt media. Okay, one of the top theories about Atlantis is that it didn't exist, Plato invented it. Most historians and scientists throughout history

have come to the conclusion that Plato's account of the lost kingdom of Atlantis was fictional. Do you know what's happened here, Lou? In like a thousand years' time, someone's going to read Harry Potter and think,

whoa, there's a fucking... No, no, they have. They found statues of it. Ooh, look. I actually do think Atlantis could be real like there's a there's a Joe Rogan

podcast episode where exactly they actually go into very intelligent depth about it but it's not going to be an underwater city it's going to be a city

that's sunk yes it's just a lost city it's just we know what that is it'd be a city that was submerged in water mate there's the floor

what don't you understand and there's an Atlantean swimming alongside look there's Hercules what don't you get about

sea levels rising look so there's no okay so I understand there's a theory for yours

and there's also a theory about sea levels rising there's a theory about them getting flooded but like it was getting flooded do you mean like it was underwater but do you mean king atlan originally so i don't know he doesn't know

what he's on so they could have had something on narnia he's seen he's seen a tiktok with statue so it's real yeah no they could have had a thing on that so this is the thing there's only so many facts i have here but in my theory they could could have had some... You don't have any facts. Because the flooding, I think it's sort of half-half true. So this is what I think. On the land, they had this thing like powering the underwater world.

Oh, this is... The flooding, the flooding, what major flood do we all know about as fact and it all like happened? Not the Great Flood. Noah's Ark.

Noah's Ark. Oh, Noah's Ark. So I'm not saying he split the sea. I'm not saying he split the sea, but Noah's Ark. He says, Noah's Ark so I'm not saying he split the sea I'm not saying he split the sea but Noah's Ark he says

Noah's Ark no we know the flood happened we're not saying necessarily Noah was there but that flood happened in the world that happened in the world

so that could have taken out their power stores was that the Ice Age melting huh what it could have been the Ice Age melting what

could have been the Ice Age melting what are you all about what flood think about it right so noah's ark you know when the ice noah's ark i'm not necessarily takes his boat all the way to the underwater kingdom drop all his animals off and then what i don't see he does that i'm saying that i believe in the water thing and those are come a bit dodgy with but um the flood with noah's ark

that happened because scientists this part in the red sea yeah i's Ark I'm a bit dodgy with but the flood with Noah's Ark that happened because science says so what about this part in the Red Sea yeah I'm not sure I'm on board with that that's like a bit far fetched for me

I'm not sure personally but it could have could he well we weren't there but to be fair we weren't there but like Atlantis

definitely fucking existed it definitely did and like it was on the water I don't know why you like why would they just make up that to the water how long ago

would you say that I could it was 9600 BC that they heard of it so i think i think like thousands of years before that and they had to start building like a thousand this is like this is something that was like 50 000 years ago you say was before last thursday this is the thing what is this is this is the ground circle of like what is true the ground circle so what is true everything that you've said isn't anyway i can't handle anymore did you know no i can't anymore i can't like anymore 90 percent i actually put all life in the rainforest lives

in the canopies okay no can i say you know when i come away from recording these i feel like i've just lost 50 million brain cells. I feel really drained. You know when they say you are the average of the five people you hang around? Oh, no, please, no. There's only four of us, though. Look, so when I say Mermaid, why are you showing me a statue of Gollum?

No, so when I say Mermaid's are real, I'm not saying, as you know but these could have easily been them is that a photo from waking up at they have these at Amsterdam Ridley's museum last year

there was this whole aliens are real thing yeah and they showed this video of an alien and then a week later said oh yeah he fucking lied it was fake

is that you look at what you're googling that's you waking up in the Manchester you're going to tell me that dementors are real next no you have to open

no I swear I'm not even these aren't even fake like they have one in the museum why are you showing me you see no you have to open no i swear i'm not even these aren't even fake like they have one in the museum why are you showing me a photo of you playing at the etihad

they have these at the museum so so these are real oh right yeah so anyone who makes a statue of something it's real no this isn't a statue that's a real fossil they have one in

fucking a fossil let's have a look pass it here pass it here but there's the most intact fossil I've ever seen in my life. There's fossilised shit as well, let's be honest. Let me see, Tom.

Has it got eyes in that? I didn't see the face. Let me please, pass it round, pass it round. Mate, it's in the museum as well. I know I'm being, it sounds like I'm being an idiot.

I know it sounds like I'm being an idiot. I know it sounds like I'm being an idiot, but it's real the museum as well. I know I'm being an... It sounds like I'm being an idiot. I know it sounds like I'm being an idiot. I know it sounds like I'm being an idiot, but it's real. It's real. Why has he called me out? I've just been bold. Also, he also showed us that.

Luke, you know the one you've got? It's got hairs on it. Yeah, so the mummified the mummified the mummified bob ross it's the bob ross also why is it why is it stuck in there it's mummified Oh my God. I swear now, even Charlie thinks these are real. Oh, fucking hell. That's what you think it lands as what?

This one literally has eyeballs. Oh God. They have arms though, they can build stuff. They can do stuff. Oh God. I know it sounds crazy, but something- You have to though. They can build stuff. They can do stuff. I know it sounds crazy, but something... You have to put the photo of that first.

The water's so deep. He's just showing us baby photos. Why if they're in the sea if they've got hair? You are an idiot. Anyway, thanks for tuning in, guys.

There's other fishes with hair. There's other fishes with hair. There's other fishes with hair. You're so good. You've got a full fucking head of hair. You might be the stupidest. There's fish with hair. What fish have hair? Watch.

If what not, name me a single fish that has fucking hair. oh my god oh my god Luke, please save that photo. Save the photo. Right. Oh, fucking hell. Oh, my God. I'm going to fucking shit myself. Jesus Christ. That looks like the fucking The Burn Off cocktail, doesn't it?

Is that real? Is that real? Is that real? Right. Thanks for tuning in, guys. We will see you this time next week. Oh, dying. I cannot wait to see what he comes up with next week.

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