Back Side - Chip Reveals Stag Secrets, Joins A Cult & Almost Kills A Child!

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis Bowden:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Get Game Day Ready at BetMGM, an official sports betting partner of the National Football League in Canada. From improved parlay selection features to original bets, player props, and more, you'll have all the tools to create unforgettable moments with this season. Download the app today and elevate every play with BetMGM.

Betmgmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conax Ontario at 1866-531-260 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Anyway, welcome Chip. I actually am Dreddy. Must I do. Oh, that's horrible.

I hate a five-year-old, nearly killed to five-year-old. Oh, wow! Whoa! He's actually a fuming! Oh, what, you're mooning in front of them, kids? No, no, no. He's f***ing weirdo. If you read there, they didn't have to take the trousers of the flood.

You're Shaganeer and I'm Shaganeer, but they're both pillows. Yeah. You piece him with a pillow. Yeah, so like, no, no, no, he had his own pillow. No, no. Yeah, he's getting their own pillow. Yeah, he had his own pillow.

Yeah. I would chug my pillow and he'd shag his. You're high five. I should have my wife. I'm glad. Oh, my hell, man. Yeah. What were you picturing when you were fucking the pillow?

You made. iPad screen around the pillows. Well, mine was probably, like, Cheryl Cole that is. Would have been like Megan, um, from Transformers. Megan Fox. Oh. She's opening the bonnet and she's cleaning the cap. So yeah, you see there, you're just,

Megan Trina. It's the same as like doing wrestling moves on your pillow, but instead you're shagging it. It's not one week. One week it's John Cena. The next day, it's fucking me. Wait, hang I sec. The pillow is.

Ah. Things going on there. This podcast is. You know, when you, did they grow back properly? They look like you shaved him again recently. What my eyebrows? Zoom in on me. You also look weird that you have eyebrows again.

Someone's in, there I am. That looks normal. There I am. Anyway, welcome Chip. Oh, we look, we look quality. Who's part of the we? Didn't you? Yeah.

Not bad yourself. Yeah. You need to come in a bit there. You're falling out the print. He all looks like a little cook. Let me see. Let me see myself. You can.

No, the other one. Look, you're fucking tired. You can have to tuck in. Oh. Don't forget their wrong. Why is Chip looks so small, man. Guys, I've got a crabby corner. No, no.

That's not where we start. You know how the call by the show were. Hey, thanks for 50K. I've never said it before. Thanks, 50K guys. Main character. 50K what? 50K?

Dislikes. Yeah. Yeah, 50K disliked per show. On subs. Everything. Hey, Chip, how does it feel? To know that backside's the biggest show at their whole fellow studio. I'm happy about that.

That didn't stand. Also just is true. It is true. It is true. It's pitch side. Then it's back side. What's your favorite? Oh, come stop.

Goofy's out. Yeah. We could actually talk about it, apparently. We can talk about it. Yeah, it's out. Yeah, talk about it. No one can fucking remember what happened. Oh, yeah, literally.

We got pretty fucking con-carnied. Yeah, but I don't remember what. Remember Greg's? No. I feel like, yeah, about a year ago. Everyone ran off to Greg. We were just still at the pub. I remember Luce's just saying.

I actually think most people are gonna expect me and ship to be like, we were actually pretty tame. Yeah, we were. We were just by having us a nice time. We had a nice time. There was nothing going on. You went in the toilet for like half hours to have a shit at the one pub. That was actually for a shit.

Oh, I actually remember. I was like, fucking hell. We're literally going to be late. I was doomed scrolling though, multitasking. You got to get it in while you can. You know what, boy, you ever go on the toilet, go through a shit and you'll be leaning forward on your knees, right? And then when you stand up, you literally fucking fall over. It's because they get dead.

No, I can't say that. It's mental. I get pimps. It's all right. It means you know you've had a good toilet. Yeah, it means, yeah, it does. You know what you've had a good toilet? Well, you sat there.

Now you've had a good toilet. Half hour. You can sit there. Have you ever in the world? Have you ever managed to master it where, do you know when your arm goes, Norman? They say you're supposed to wank when it does that? Does that actually work? It's not even good.

Dead Ang, shit. It's not good. It's not real Lewis. It's not good. I'm walking up with a dead aunt. Hey, speaking of stag news though. Reeve, you've obviously had one out of the four you're going to have. Two more video ones and then your real one.

Two more video stags. Yeah. And then obviously you're also getting engaged. I'm married. You're done. Thank you. When's your stag do? Dada.

Next year. Who's your best man? Carl probably. Oh, boring. I had a big argument about this. He's actually mad at him. No, I'm not joking. You was expecting me to be here?

I actually felt well about it would have got on. I was like Googling, can you have two best men? Yeah, you can. People do do that. No, you don't. No, you're poor. The pity best man. Yeah, like, oh, you know what, mate?

You were right. Like, come on. You can have a good. Yeah, a lot of people I know have done that. It's the other one. I personally wouldn't. You've got a bit of pop out. That's what I just said. Yeah, I guess it is.

But it's hard, though, isn't it? Well, you think Reeves a cop out? Me personally, I wouldn't do it. I would feel like I'm coping out. It's your wedding. He's tried to be pleasant to me there, but he thinks I'm a piece of shit. No, I don't. No, I don't.

Because literally, I think, I actually. Well, Mike, I've got too. I've got the life before YouTube, so that's Adam. Yeah, the second one is... I get that, but... See, I've got that too. It's completely fine. I'm not saying I'm right.

More people now actually do multiple best men. But I've got a lot of goonsmen. Dido. Goonsman? Yeah, do you have like 15 groomsmen or something? 10, like 10. That's a lot. Yeah, but it's hard, and you've got to buy them all preserves.

What the fuck can they even do? Hey, just stand there. They look good. Do they? You got to buy them all suit. I'm in the same, though. You got, you got, I might, you've got a whittlet it down because buy a groomsmen equals it means less to be a groomsmen.

Right, they can all get a suit from River Island there, done. Now what? Yeah, but it's also your day and you get to. choose what happened. Yeah, that's very soon. Actually, I'm the biggest advocate of that of you. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to do, um, what the... You have somebody loving friends. Groomsmen. And all those friends love you back as well. You feel bad as well, you're like, you're going by all you're amazing. You'll leave someone out.

You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Where's your dream stag? Out of interest. Um, we're doing it from mate in, uh, fucking oh, what's it called? Nashville. That's it. Nashville, that's it. A girl. A cowboy? Yeah, it's a good shout. Where are you getting married? Huh? Where are you getting married? Where? I don't know. In England?

Nah. Somewhere else. How long? Is it if you go in Nashville for your stag? You could go back to the homeland? What, man? Old. Well?

I meant a different way. It'd be cheaper. It would be cheap. Cost of a call there. How long is your stag do you're going to be then if it's in Nashville? I don't know. A week? A week?

Yeah, but we'll treat it as like, we'll go there, chill out for a bit and then we'll start the stag whilst with that. I like, day three is like, now the tag begin. Boy's holiday! Because otherwise, you've gone all that way for three days or whatever. You know, a weak stag do? Yeah.

Jesus. Is that in Texas? Yeah. No. No, it's not in Texas. Tennessee, sorry. They're all the same at that point. And Reeve, I'm interested.

What's your dream stag do? It'd be Ibithra or Vegas, but I don't know which one. Benadorm it is. Do you know what? I don't mind where it is, so long as I have the people there. I guarantee. I honestly think you'd have a better time in Benadorn than I-Bee. I agree.

I've probably agree with it. But I've never been Ibith before, so I don't actually know what that feels like. But Benedorms don't have. I can just go with Tom on I write. They don't have the Vicky knocking about now. They don't know. Maybe said, he said the daughter.

She picked up the tip. Passed on the baton? Yeah. What, fucking amazing. Good. Yeah. You can take care of your life.

I bet is she like, did she live up to the, like, yeah, she's still getting fucked about on the, yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was like a Romeo Beckham job where he's not looked up to his dad. No, no, no.

It's not, I can't do this anymore. He's like, it's like taking it to new level. That's your turn, love. Thanks, Mom. What? What's going on? Just passing it down.

There's the sole separate thing happening in the Reeves' cart. Lewis, what's your dream statue location? I don't know. Shera Quora. I'll go wherever, to be fair, like. In Cook's Club. I'm not, yeah. I'm not even too arse, just as long as it's like a good turnout.

Because you're not actually from there. It'd be nice for you to visit. I actually think it doesn't matter where you are for a night out of about who you're with. That's what I said a bit less. See, I wouldn't mind like, say, when we went away before, when we went away for, But when we went with a potter cup, we just got like... Oh, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, babe, right. But we went away and, uh, you just had the house and hot tub and, like, golf and, like,

just loads of drinking in there. Yeah, we get it. I don't mind. I don't have to go abroad. I don't have to go abroad. Yeah, well, what's their names? But you can't even name their names. You don't have friends outside of us.

Where are you only... Potter one? Potter two, potter. So, where's your dream tag? Maybe Vegas. Yeah. Columbia? What's that, what do you mean by that, boy?

Was that one? No, explain. It's a great place. Isn't it quite dangerous over there? What? What do you mean about that? Colombia's actually like genuinely quite... Not if you know the people are now, mate.

Anyway, it's dangerous. Keep your head down. Oh, is it? Yeah, Seaford. Seaford. Are you? There's a murder in Seaford two weeks ago. Oh, you haven't stopped shutting up about it.

It's scary though, isn't it? Seafood is not dangerous. Someone got... The murder in Seabler. It's really sad. Oh! More times of being attacked by a Seagull than anything. Well, I have.

As you know. And they thought it was a love bite. It wasn't as a sea going to that. Is that what you told Dodey? Where'd your record is more dangerous? Columbia or Seaford. Oh, it's a tough one that. Depends what part of Seaford.

Oh, yeah. The Seaford massive and not to be messed with. The most dangerous part of Seafin is the cliffs. Not even in Seaford. Exactly. That was scary, though. What was? Yeah, so you'd go big.

You went to them, guys. I mean, you've got two comments on. You've never been Vega. No. I'd honestly, I actually wouldn't care. I'm not that arse about. I agree. I agree.

It's expensive. I actually am dreading my stag-do. Why? Oh, so you are having a stag-dew? If I do, yeah, I mean... You cannot flip the... They will. They will.

The stag-dos I've been... I've thought, like, I couldn't... I actually don't think I could do what the stags does. Yeah, but you can tell them before on that. It's the only things I don't want. No, there's no... No, it's kind of no off limits, man. Yeah, Tom, you might actually...

No, you might actually get married. No, yeah, I could die. I'm lying. I've had a good run and I'll do you and what I love. I do think a stag, though, like, there is, surely there's a line of having a good time and actually just ruining your friend's life. No, no, no, because the whole bit of both in it. The stag itself has the worst time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what that's a fucking point? That's how some sort shit? Do you know the worst thing, I think, on a stack? You know, like, when they, you see the videos, then, like, give in, like, a giant thing, that you actually get in the flight tonight and we're all going this morning. That is shit. That's just not, that's just not, actually.

Shit, in an airport for 12 hours on you. You got here for yours, though. Wait, what's that one? I don't. Sometimes there's been ones where, like, they all get to the airport and you know, they print off those massive tickets. Like, ha ha, you've got a massive ticket. Oh, and also, our flights now, yours is tonight at, like,

in eight hours. That's just sat there. Nah, that's fucking shit. I just bought myself. That's actually just shit. Turn around and buck yourself, on. Yeah, but, yeah. Now, you're fucking daff.

You're getting nervous, man. I'm fucking stressed. fucking stressed about that. No, I think they wait as they're boreding. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, that's horrible. By the way, you're actually not on this flight.

You're flying next week. Imagine. We put you on Interpol's Most Wanted so you can't even fucking go. Oh, I might not have an other stag at this way. You've said all this. It makes me not want to get married. Yeah, like what's the point?

That's the reason I don't get married. Yeah. Anyway, what's your crabby corner? Is that how I look? Oh, you guys might relate to this, actually. As a fellow line bike cyclist. Yeah. Third world problems again from Theo.

That, it's not just line, it's not a line, it's the cyclist. It's people that walk into the cycling lane just without looking. That just doesn't happen that often. I fell off my bike. I fell off my bike. I think we should applaud whoever walked into the bike list. It was really bad. So you...

So basically, what happened? Oh, I don't believe you. I was approaching it. It was green light. And you know when a car's like signature. left to come across you. As I come across the green light, there's people waiting, yeah,

green light, go through, check my right shoulder, car's letting me go. And then as I look back, bloke just walked in front of the being and collided with the bike. No way. Was the bike all right?

No. I was livid. I went at him. No, you fucking didn't. No, no, no. Everyone, let's hear him out. Here comes the bullshit. You fucking run into me,

man, sorry, man. No, no, everyone, he said he went out. Let's hear about. Yeah, go on. Say it work for work. Yeah, word for word. It's actually quite apologetic.

Word for word. What'd you think? No thinking about it. You idiot. You really stupid man. Imagine. With your helmet on. What are you doing?

You idiot. How dare you do that? My bite! Oh, flipping hell! Why would you do that? You silly man. It's a green light for us. It's red for you.

That's for you should have walked out. I don't know. Calm him down. Calm him down. He's fucking crazy this guy. Get him off the road. I would think of it though. If he didn't hit me, he would have just walked into that car.

Oh, I think you hit him. Yeah, he's got a claim then. He didn't hit you, didn't run into you? He ran into the middle of a cycling. Why aren't you watching where you're going? Yeah. Are you taking the fucking? Why aren't you watching where you're going?

It's a good point. Like, do you not hear me say I checked the car that was sign- So you weren't looking? No, it might have been his fault, but you weren't looking. Yeah. If you were going at a normal speed, you'd be able to break. If I have right away in a cycling lane. You're not listening to what I said.

I know what happened. You saw him coming and you went, You know, listen to what I said? It may have been his fault. We don't know this because we're right there. But you would have run into him regardless of whether it is his fault or not. Okay, I get what you're saying. Yeah, but fuck him.

I reckon, if he didn't hit me, he would have walked out. Yeah, I reckon what? If I didn't hit him. If I didn't hit him. I think the whole stories are like, like, there's no cyclists. I reckon what happened is he just cycles straight through the traffic lines. Also, just come up with his stuff.

I watched him park his car earlier. I cycled this, I didn't drive. No. No, I think you're lying, mate. Yeah. Because I saw you pull in, in your Tesla. Oh, well, model three. Right, Theo, when you say you went flying off your bike?

Theo, when you said you went flying off your bike, did you just... Did you stumble over? Did you go over the handlebars? No. I slammed on the brake, skidded into him and fell off the side. You just went, ah. So, okay, so you've just berated this man.

You've got up and like, you fucking c- What's he said? I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I'm trying to put it. apologising then I felt bad I'm getting the line back up for you

because it's true Theo oh I'm sorry man right there 1020 am wait it was this morning that it happened that's yesterday

no it was last week oh 29th September he's a fucking lie mate you just said it happened so yeah well he said he said

he saw you drive in and you were like no I didn't I got a line bike I got a line back why wouldn't you just said you drove into your own car it was last week

I didn't once say it was today there's so many else in this fucking story do you want to go check the review on the tape Get game day ready at BetMGM, an official sports betting partner of the National Football League in Canada. From improved parley selection features to original bets, player props, and more.

You'll have all the tools to create unforgettable moments with this season. Download the app today and elevate every play with BetMGM. Betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, Please contact Conax, Ontario at 1866-531-260 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario.

You've got a video of it, have you? No way have you got a cycle. Cycling, Mikey! What? What do you mean the tape? He said I said today. I never said it was today. Oh, okay.

I thought you recorded hitting the guy. This story's a mess. It is a fucking... Grabby corner. This is classic, people are walking around. walk into cycling lanes without looking all the time. And it's actually really dangerous. See, I'm not

that dangerous. It's Milene Road. You don't die from getting hit by your bike. I don't know. You know the one. Yeah, that is actually always... I've never experienced that genuinely. I feel like people are not that bad with that. My lane road is bad for it. It happens all the time. It's fucking war zone down. Maybe you should be so then... Kind of be psyched. People slamming on

bricks. Wait, no, if he knows it's bad for it, shouldn't he be more aware? You think so. Oh. Shouldn't it be more aware to be more aware. That's a good point. Yeah. He was stood there. When I looked at him. No green lights on. So you saw him stood there and you still carried on and hit him.

Fucking hell. Oh, you are horrible. Oh, are you getting angry? Angry, picky. Is this how angry you got in the guy? And somebody got hit by a car recently. And it was my fault. Oh, see?

Taking responsibility. Yeah, it was his fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. You know it's not my fault. I don't forget. Let's just be less reckless because we don't put people's lives out there.

And also, I don't want you to get hurt, mate. Yeah. I want you to be more. Stan fan who was like, don't mean to be your, no, he's not, oh no, what's this? Why is this, don't mean to be your dad? No, they're fucking, they're fucking, I'll say it, you say it. Yeah, go on, I don't mean to be your dad, but are you okay? Like, is everything right?

I don't mean to be your fucking dad, but are you okay, mate? And ask him if you want some pie and leeks off. Why pie and leaks? Is that what that what they are? Liquor, liquor, not leek sauce. Leak sauce. Me, you fucking. Well, that's your, well, that, do you have a crabby corner is a made-up story about you

crashing into some. Anyone else? Make a story. What a noise you in life? Yeah, make up a story about how you almost got ran over. Well, I've been hit by a line bike

twice. No, I've been in a line bike accent twice. What? On my land? Not in my land. Oh, I thought you... You are a nervous cyclist? Um, but...

Probably mine. I hate a five-year-old. Nearly killed to five-year-old. What the fuck is just happening there? So I was Broadway market going down the market. This five-year-old's looking to cross-road but looking the wrong way

and just walked. Oh, yeah. Last minute as well and I just went over the... What, you fucking... How big was his five-year-old? Well, I've slammed on the brakes and I've just literally front tire

mowed the kid down and then gone over. And then we'll see you later! Loads of people with that, looking at me and someone does. You're all right, mate, I'm just dying on the floor. Jesus. I know exactly what, you know, when you hurt your elbow. Kids crying.

I'll be like... How long are you? You know what? I see this up. I had to him. I'm like, I'm like... It's like, gosh,

Kong away. And he's like, I can't fucking move. I can't move me. No, but when I got, let me finish the fucking story. Yeah, that doesn't happen. It's an impossible to say anything that is. Welcome to this show. Welcome to the backslide.

So, I'm going to tell you the story. He just wouldn't stop it. Me, why he's in like a dress. Can I continue this fucking story? So I've just said to get up, but I didn't want to get back on the line bike in front of people. So I dragged the line. I'll like to push the line back around the corner.

Oh my god, you went and tried round the corner All of my point He's like, we know he's round there He's round there He's round the corner like Fuck! And the kid and the kid

I was like, oh you're all right love Yeah, he just left the kid on the floor Oh, go on the floor No, I went up to the kid and a dad picked her up And I was like, you're all right love Wait, how's the kid? But no, it's probably got What is it?

He just went over a fight ROP man No, but the dad was obviously knew It was his fault because he wasn't looking After her and then I mean, yeah You've got to be, you've got to be aware of your

surroundings at all times, guys. I've never had a line bike incident. I don't think. Right, so what is this? Yeah, I don't know what it is like. Shrecking. What the fuck's this? Damn.

So, a new trend from Gen Z's dating culture has entered the pop culture lexicon. Shrecking, fuck me. He's going to make me feel really old, in it. Shrecking refers to a dating trend where people intentionally choose a partner, they believe, is less good

looking than themselves in the hope that they will be treated better. This ain't new, is it? I think Charlie did this with me. I'm not even joke. It comes as Gen Zeders have been dating up the age range, have been dating at the end, reportedly rejecting men their own age in favor of older men.

That's just for money, though. A 2024 survey from Bumble found that 63% of users were comfortable dating outside of their age group reflecting the rise of the so-called Gen Blend. This is not new. Trekkers, it used to be called, like, Catch the Orga. No, what was it called? Did they used to call them that?

No one ever said that. No, it's when you go out. The fact that you know that terminology means that you have been straight. Pull a pig. Pull a pig. And I used to be the pig. Yeah, but this is for the reverse. Yeah, sometimes you'd check a word for dare or something.

Not really. To a word. I'm actually around the curve. Allegedly. I'm actually around the curb when it comes to a new slang by the kids these days. Because like Charlie gets learned from work like all the words. So I know like six, seven. What does that mean?

What? I don't know, but they keep saying... So you don't know what it means. Six, seven. Yeah, but you don't know what it means. Yeah, but you don't explain what it means. I don't know, but they keep saying it. Right.

So you've... So that was just useless information. Anyway, so first question, what do we think of this, lads? I'm dead... No, it says, who is one of the latter? What the fuck? What the fuck is, you're on about? Um, it says exactly what he just said, like, choose who it is out of us?

What have you read that? I just saw one of the lads. I said, choose who it is out of us. No, what do we think of it? Well, yeah, I mean, I don't want to name name. People dating down the rating scale to make a deal. You're not? Yeah, I'm.

No, you're not. He definitely. That'd be rude. Say yes. Why would I say yes? Say I'm punching. You're fucking punching, mate. I am.

You're not. You guys are on the same level. You're good looking, lad. Anyway, so what other Gen Z trends do we find weird? I don't know what Gen Z is. I don't know what is it? What year is Gen Z? 2000 onwards?

Is it? Is it? No, that's millennials, any. Well, we'll check it. So what are we? We're millennials. We grew up in the... Oh, we're millennial?

Late 90s to early 2010s. Wait, Lewis, how old you? I'm 9098. Oh, he's a Gen Z. You're Gen Z. Yeah, you're Gen Z. So I'm... We're a fucking...

Gen Z is the shit one though, everyone to be millennial. Gen Z, could be between 97 to 2012, can it? Yeah, when you're born. Can it? Really? Nah, I don't know, man. We're just old now and they're doing the weird thing. The lingo of Gen Z is a bit like brain, isn't it?

They're all fucking one. weird. I've seen a thing the other day actually where it was like a kid and a kid didn't they were like, got asked, what's your favorite cartoon? And they were like, what's that? And they're like, I watch YouTube. They didn't watch cartoons. Weird, yeah. Like they didn't watch Tom and Jerry.

So are they not like watching like Cartoon Network and shit now? May I think they're like chronically on TikTok and YouTube. Go-blocks and stuff. YouTube kids. No, like proper just like TikTok. I'm not sure, man. I still. No, not a lot of them will be like in America. I'm not saying all of them. I feel like we got a

to that though? No. No, when I was a kid, people would be like, no, but we'd be on PlayStation or whatever. All you do is play that game. We used to be fucking eating dirt. Surely we were outside until like... No, I was, that's my point.

And I said this year of the week, like my mom and dad live right by a park, not in a weird way. And... Excuse me. Sorry. I'm expecting off here. Lucky them.

And recently, I have noticed the park is full. Like, people do, kids do still go out. Yeah. You check every day to you? He's like, really knows the pad. There's a piece. Yeah, there was a fucking truck for the last 10 years,

but now the kids are back, lad. Full of, I can't believe it. Full of talent. The world. What the? Oh, wow. No, the talented footballers. Oh, right.

The world is dealing. The other kids were out. No, the eight-year-olds. And they're tight shorts. Do you reckon we'll like Wrong so many levels Oh shit Do you think it's just like

What is it downhill from Do you reckon? 35 You reckon For you about it Nah I reckon Boy

Do you reckon we're doing this pod At 35 Well I asked Well actually might I think we could do I'm like that's only four I asked this question On another show

That I can't name But You'd do it anyway You name it on the show When I can't name it Wofflin Maybe excluding being a child When is the happiest

You've ever been because child's an easy cop out. I don't know because I feel like you also get clouded memories like you look back and think of all the great memories at school but also there was some shit days at school like double it double fucking like

English chemistry and stuff oh fucking shoot me or like yeah but you had no problems in school that was your problem though but definitely I had a relative to but I had a lot of problems in school

and like even like I could say like when I was at uni yeah it was amazing but I was skinned and then you're actually It could be now. It could be now. We have so much freedom to do what we want. Yeah, but now all I think about is my fucking tax bill.

That's what I was going to see. Like, we should keep doing this C35 because it forces you, you're not, I will not know you by the age of 35. Tom, we're going to be good friends. It's like a picture. I don't know if it's true or not. It could be bollocks off the internet. But there was a group of four lads from like the 1940s that have been going to the pub every Thursday. Legends.

That's cool. We should do that. But they've never missed. They've never missed a week for like 60 years. They've been on holiday. I don't think I have since I've probably been doing that for 10 years. Yeah, these guys, 56 years. I met every Thursday.

That's unreal, man. Which ones do you think was like the Shagga? I don't think so. Maybe they go holiday month to Wednesday. The one. Can't miss that. Can't scroll up. Which one was the shagger?

Rick Astley? I think it was, I think it's the one on the right there. No, the cap. One with the cap on. Oh, yeah. The way he's holding it a bit. It is quite cool. That's unreal, though.

And he's in the middle, so he's top. any really like you don't think it's weird to think like we'll probably know each other in two of seven eight no we won't no we will no we will we'll know of each other oh you don't reckon we'll all know it sure like we'll look up every now and then it is a kiss you always look like I think always the long guys what in the grave well might be that in Colombia if I'll make it why do you bring it out if I'll make it to 60 I'll take it then after that then after that it's good that I'll let the The world's swallowing me up.

Because after 60, there ain't fucking much. When's the habit you've ever been, Joshua? I don't know. Obviously, when you got engaged. Yeah. There you go. Easy answer. Well, you're asking, you're not asking for a specific moment, are you talking about.

Period of life. Yeah, that's hard. It's too hard to do that. Mine's now. Yeah, I thought, yeah. It's not bad. Well, congrats to you, mate, fucking up. Enjoy.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think that's a fair answer. But, yeah. I just think, I wish I was 24. you always look back a few years I feel like forever you're gonna always look back a few years and be like then I just like yeah

the amount of things I just think I can't be doing that I'm nearly 30 like yeah that's just oh man I'm like can I really be fucking just no I'm gonna wait a thing

30 that's that's the point you fucking idiot we're talking about how yeah but you look like 40 so I could get away with it yeah you know like when we were 21 and we'd see people on nights and stuff

and you'd be like fucking out with us what's going on here I'm walking to a place now and I go I'm on the other side of that coin now that is not

I actually can't remember the last time I went into to a club for that reason other than like on holiday or something but I just can't do it yeah

just stick to war in it is I don't know they are shit anyway but like it's just a pub that's the one right Jordan Belfort

known universally as a real Wolf of Wals also a known Charlotte and a known frauds are a known knobbed by the way and lawyer, carry on.

Has revealed how he managed to blow an eye-watering 2.5 million in one month. I hate the fact he still gets like people talk about him. He's a pretty... Is that not like quite possible though? Some bits are fictionalised, don't they? Well, why am I just reading it out? Could you spend two and a half million

dollars? Right, you just... Yes. I had it, yeah, definitely. What would you spend it on? See, it says he lost a million dollars gambling, by the way. That's what I mean. You could easily do that. Yeah, play poker. You're not allowed to gamble. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I could buy a fucking mad house or mad car.

Yeah, it's actually really easy. Could you spend two and a half million? That's very easy. Could you spend two and a half million if you're not like to buy a house? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could buy cars. But can you buy a car like that though?

Pretty sure. Fucker. You buy a private jet. You're making it too. Right, let's do our, let's do our PowerPoint. Buy a jet, couldn't you? Yeah. That's two and a half mil.

Yeah, let's do the power point. And the rest? A jet? Oh, is it way more than that? A private jet? Maybe if you bought a really small. I thought the one Harry one was like. That was what?

That was two and a half million actually, yeah. Yeah, I thought that was two and a half million. Was it? Yeah, it was actually, you're right. It was more than that. Great point in every way. Oh. Let them talk to you like that.

Thank you. Anyways, you have a new segment we like to call, present your point. No, there is not a new segment and there is a name for it. It's called pitch it. Yeah. And what are we pitching today, Theo? Well, we're pitching a brand new cult we'd like to bring to the table.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's going to include information. Yeah. Yes. God, you bring... Can I get mine out the way, Will, because I feel like every time I go... Yeah, we'll go round, we go around.

This one. Well, I'd rather get the shittest one out of the way. There's yours actually... I think yours is going to be good. Fuck off. Theo was Saty and creasing her here. Yeah, that's why it's shit. He's... I find it funny, but it's so bad.

No, I'm expecting... Close your eyes, everyone. I'm full well... All right. Eyes closed, guys close. Remember there's audio listeners, so read out everything on the... Yes. Yeah, I'm sort of going to spitball it as well.

Was that? I can't believe people listen to this podcast. Okay, hello, everyone. This may be the worst thing I've ever done. No, it's not. I could think of 20 things off the top of the moment. Let's come back to that. Today alone.

How are we? Pound town. Two more. A spunk on it. Oh, it has got sponk on it as well. Yeah. It's actually sweat. Get game day ready at BetMGM,

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Your hair's... How would it sweat there? How would you know it's sweat as well? Also, how would the sweat get to there? Because it's sweat, doesn't it? Why are you sweating on the outside of the hut? Why is the dripp-driplets on the outside? You are what, idiot.

You're dripping on yourself. You're just dripping on your hat, man. Sweat goes through your cap, didn't you? He threw his peevee and he had a one. I wouldn't wear this hat on a rug. They're gonna stuck on you? You wear it on the sunbed, don't you? So you don't burn your head?

I don't know, man. You're fucking your head. He don't want to burn your head, do you? You're the one who has four holidays, everyone. You fund this. Funged it. Fund, fund. Right, guys, welcome to pitch it.

Why are you- What you do, it's a fucking final thing, you idiot. Oh, what you do? Oh, yeah! Whoa! He's actually fuming. He said he was shit. He's just said, he's just said how shit it was, he wants to get to

to get it out of the way and he's in the wrong order and he's gone, you've ruined it. Oh, that feels, that's Neil's still on Tom, Tom, you're right. Right, okay. You can never leave. All right, Theo, come on. Oh, he's now dropped. Oh, what the fuck is going on? You just broke a mug guy. Oh my god, producer will having a fucking nightmare. That was a bad minute for you, man. Yeah, oh my god. Disciplinary. H.R.

He's having a howler. Right then He's so upset by the way We've written the big reveal You can never leave You can never leave You can never leave By the way

I just want to say If you're listening right Before this Bless him He was on his laptop He kept giggling He was there for about 25, 30 minutes Giggling saying this is the best thing

I've ever done You can never leave Did the audio listeners even know what just happened? I don't know, but he's... It's the worst thing I've ever done. You can never leave. Will, you should put the reveal of the bonus slide on the... If you're listening, the last slide came up on the screen.

Pretend you didn't get revealed and ruined, guys, okay? Okay. Yeah, but last slide got shown first pretty much. Look, and then you sort of... You can never leave. The men in black thing. Oh, yeah. Beep.

All right, come on then. All right. Space bar. Let me guess. I wonder if Ned Flanders is going to tell. Space bar. Feels like he's wearing nothing and all. Nothing at all.

Welcome, guys, to the Lycra Brigade. Yeah. In Lycra. It feels like I'm wearing. He's fucking skiing. Nothing at all. Nah, it's not even cycling. Look at the fucking shape of it.

Mate, is that not the fit? Oh my God. You could eat a cookie from it. Why is your example? For cyclists in Lycra, a guy that's skiing. Is that how, be honest, have you done the pause in Lycra and that in your mirror just to see? I've got a photo of him in that. Also, why would you not get someone in Lycra on a bike?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because you look good in Lycra and no matter what sport you're doing. that's Lycra? He's even got the shadow under his ass. Like he's got a proper... They're deadly. Just saying how good you can look if you... It would tickle of being sucked you off. Why'd you always make it weird? I'm making it a weird. You said...

Why are you thinking about Ned Flanders sucking you are? Or suckily duck. Well, it could be anyone. It could be you. Oh no. Backly dackly and you cockily duck. Sorry. Right.

Right. Keep going. Space. Spaceball. That's not... I've just got back from my... Be proud in your lycra. Do you like the spark? No, it's good.

This is good. Yeah, yeah. Be proud in your liker. Yeah. You are cool. Oh my God. Fuck, you know. Is this what you were kicking about?

How'd you recruit people then? How'd you recruit people? It is crazy because people say you're like one of the funniest guys, you know, and then you fucking pull out something like this. So this is all about, you know, when you wear you like, you should be proud in it, you know, you are a cool guy. We can't read. Were you quite, were you getting it when you type.

You are cool in. I don't think, I like the way he's literally said. be any more to the point, be proud in your Lycra, you are cool, then gone. This basically means you need to be proud in your Lycra and you are cool. How is this a cult? Where's the cool? Is this the whole side of you? By the way, this cult exists.

Yeah, it's just called people that's cycle. They were called cyclists. Space bar. Space bar. Such examples of great cool Lycra men. That's called cycling. Yeah. You've invented a cult called cyclone.

They're called cycling. So Chris Hoyle was part of this Lycra gang, Lycra Brigade and fellow other Olympians. Spaceball, please. It's... Our leader is Lance Armstrong. Oh, go on that. As if you thought he ruined this. Yeah, I know.

Like, as if it was, this is great. Yellow for the Tour de France, or is he notoriously cheated? He's not even wearing Lycra there. He's fucking nude. If he did, he... That's a terrible example of what you're trying to promote. What do you think the pants are made out of, buddy? You said a full suit of Lycra.

Is that real picture? Why is he? Triathlars. I said these two triathlon. Was he good without the drugs? Yeah, he was the best. They were all on drugs, but he was the best of all the drugs.

Okay. Obviously, he is a notorious cheat, seven-time Tour de France champion, well, ex-champion, actually. Overcame a load of odds to really be proud in his Lycra whilst taking loads of drugs. He's our leader.

Our leader? I mean, he's the leader. Hang on, who's in it? Well, obviously we want a controversial leader, so it drives engagement to build other people to join. Yeah. Like Tom Cruise and Scientology. Spacebar.

You call on Scientology, cool, because they're called for you. Yeah, that's true. They are a cult. Spacebar. Oh my God. When does this cult take place and where? Well, space up. What the fuck is that?

As a coffee shop. Is it a cafe? Oh my God, our courts are similar. So it's going to, yeah, Space Bar. It's going to take place every Saturday. morning. This is a cycling club. It's not cool. It's a cycling club. The only thing you could think of with an hour to go for the show is everything you do on Saturday morning. Yeah. It's fucking deal. There's four main mantras of this cult. You have to be proud. You'd like to bring

your friends along to get more involved in the cult. It's a club. You have to enjoy caking coffee and you have to wear your lycra. Let's go. There's spacebar. Do they not actually go cycling here? They just drinking coffee and lycra. Spaceball. The rituals. Gorn on a 10-kier bike ride. You have to pray to Joseph Shivers every day. Who's that? Who's that?

Spacewell? This is Joseph Shivers. He invented Lycra. All right. You must wear Lycra as much as possible. And exercise enough so you can eat lots of cake. You must also judge people's coffee orders. Ooh.

Oh, it's getting a lot of techie now, is it? Yeah, because if someone goes up there and orders you know, let's actually practice this. Lewis, what coffee would you like? I'm going to order your coffee. I'll have a pumpkin spice lighter, please. Ooh. That's how she suits the cult, actually.

Yeah, it's a good order. What do you like? Vanilla rice latte. Oh, I'd like a vanilla hot latte, please. Suits the cult? Double espresso. Oh, get out. Uh, uh, uh, shoot.

A great example. Oh, so basically people who in the court. And listen. Judge people's coffee's orders, but the coffee order has to be something that doesn't taste the coffee. You're really, really not doing a good case to join this car right now. You're gone. No, I'm asking a question. You're a gone.

And the final one is a mandatory Saturday morning meetup. Instead of other cults, you know, where you go to, say, science buildings and churches, etc. We meet Saturday mornings usually at a nice cafe in a park. This is at the court. Now, obviously, obviously. Yeah, because I couldn't think of it anything better to do. There are many exit strategies, Scientology. You may have to just.

We know what I mean. Oh, it's exit strategy you can never leave. Change your name. and try and find a way out. Ours is... You can never leave. You can never leave. Brilliant.

The Lycra Brigade. That. Can I just say, you're not clapping. Hey, he's on board with that. We've got to clap because you fucking get upset otherwise. Also, Chip.

Also, Chip, at the end of that, you were getting on board of that. No, I fucking wasn't. Can I see it? You're part of it. I actually don't think you do in the world. I don't understand what he's a cool.

It's like, oh, we're going to do this. Like, extreme beliefs. Yeah. Like worship. They pray to Joseph. The devotion towards it. Tom, They have to pray to Joseph shivers every day.

No, but Theo, yours is something that exists. You do this. That prays to Joseph shivers every day. You? Think about the court where they drank cooling. They're supposed to be like abnormal things and behaviours, but like people that... Get my stinker up. I'll read you two and a half out of turn.

I'll take that. And that's because Will got your next two. Okay, so... Ah, ah, ah, guys, I'm getting on it. So you're two and a half, review. I'll give you a three, but somehow you're part of it, so weird. Josh? Yeah, but I don't think he's a court.

me. I just think he's one out of ten. I'll give him two points because Will made me laugh by what is it out of one? I'll give myself a five. Can you give yourself? By the way I just want to say Tom forgot to do this and got Will to do it about ten. Yeah so this is Will's presentation not Tom. I did a note so then sent it to Will's I don't know what's coming up. I did the same. Yeah. Okay but Tom Colt's name are the loners. Oh. Just on your own. Oh my God. The ideology God drink post Yeah

I knew it I fucking knew it You just named your lifestyle We call the loners Our ideology We thrive on solo points mainly We crave peace and quiet

And we prefer being left alone This is by everyone Leave us alone There's one point He's just left out God I can't think of another one Who is the leader It's me and Les Dennis

Dennis Or Les Diamond Les Dennis He's going to be a leader for the solo point crew because he's been an absolute loner since shagging Amanda Holden and never shagging everyone else because he couldn't peak after this.

Have you got an AI trivia already? I don't know. How did he pulled that off as well? That's kind of beast, man. The location will be any pub that doesn't cue single file because we hate orderly cues in this cult. And if we walk in and see single file cues,

First of all, we kill Second of all, we leave Actually, people do kill for their courts There we go Colty, you already You've understood it, you get it We kill for this cult Well, you don't know, Dennis

The rich Two of them You can't even join together We're just the leaders Yeah, yeah I'm gonna say Having two leaders is the opposite Of what this court should be

Two leaders And you have to go off a solo drink So you're never together Tom I'd like to poke a hole in this Isn't a cult just all about like Coming together No but we're Under the same belief,

Under the same belief, though, isn't it? They all believe they should be left alone. So, not at each other across the pub? No, we're not in the same pub. So you all go to different pubs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't have to be a pub. We just like being left alone in general.

Okay. So we will. How do you communicate? If you like it's still like life, how do you join? It's a silent pool. How do you join? You see. The ritual to join.

Here we go. Anytime, well. You have to split the G with a thong. Oh, fucking, oh. Only a thong. Where we knew that. There was something. What do you mean it was coming?

Some strange kind of date left, isn't there? Why? Why? What's the yes, don't ask? It's the yes, don't ask. Is it split the G with a G string? Oh. That one?

No, thong. Alright. You're not in the cult. Why is it called a G string? Looks like a G. Is it? Telly G. If you want to have solar points, why, Pides,

why would you join a cult with other people? It makes you feel better as you go on your own. So you can just see... Just knowing... I'm not the only one. I'm not a weirdo. I'm not doing it. Also, it gives you something to live for, because what happens then?

It's like a group where you're message into, saying, I'm having to fall the pie right now. So there's zero interaction with the members. Wait, how do you get accepted? Split the G with a phone wrong? But prove it. In front of who? Where? No proof.

We are doing Les Dennis. We have trust in our cult. How do you even know I've applied to join? Exactly. There's a lot of holes in this cult. This is crap. I'll tell you what, you'll know. When we walk into a pub and they're fucking queuing single file and I kill everyone in the fucking single file,

Then you'll know. Will you be in prison? No, I won't, mate. I'll escape. I'm in my G-wagon, in my G-string, splitting the G. It wasn't a G-string. It wasn't a G-string, actually. A thong and a G-string, not the same.

Okay, the exit strategy. It's actually not the name, I don't know. Similar though. No refunds, no early exits. You die. You die in the court. Look, I understand. It's probably not great.

I mean, if you're drinking alone, and you're probably going to die anyway. I didn't think you'd get any worse than the Lyca Brigade, I think he might have done it. Well, you created, you invented, you, you put forward. I know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you're desperate for yours not to be the word. Oh, ha ha ha ha ha, ha, he's a little rattled boy. Can't even, I can't even, I could fake join it if I wanted to.

No, you could never join. Yours is a cyclist group and yours is just let me go have a drink a Lord. Just leave me alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not even cult, though. So two non-cult, we kill. Oh, hey, lose, you could actually infiltrate his cult very easy. To be fair, yeah, you just go sit in the pub at your own.

Your filers. Killing is more cori. Yeah, yeah, that's Koty. Killing people for not believing in their thing is culty, yeah. I'll give it a... It's got to be more than fear. He's put forward sight. It's not a cult.

Three point five. Not a six. You don't even have a belief system. I'll give it four. What is it? Give me an idea how to improve it. I feel like if you were in the simple, but you would drink it across so he could see each other. And no conversation, you're just sort of like, yeah, but how would we know?

Yeah, but how would we know? You can do something. There's a secret, there's a secret. Exactly. Like, there's no way of getting in. You get a G tattoo under your eye. Yeah. So you just see each of that.

No, you get branded. You get branded. He's now changing. No, no, no, no, no, if he's changing it. It would have been better, yeah. No, I'm taking on constructive criticism unlike you. Oh. Yeah, there's actually, yeah.

You can't join it because you can't prove. That's actually a really good point on. What I just said, I'm branding my, we've just agreed for my calls. You get branded a nation of pillars that when they say it. Basically, okay, okay, the way to join is obviously split the dew with a thong on, but you have to do it in front of me or Les Dennis Dennis. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Then you're in. And then we brand you with a G just under your eye, just a little tiny G. And then they never talk to me again, go away. And then yes, never. Ever see him in the pub? You'll just go. You just have a week. You can't go.

You can't go. Guys, you two have just made this better. No, but you have to win. You have to remember that. Yeah, yeah. You didn't take any. You didn't. You didn't offer any.

I think that's a six now, isn't it? Yeah. Fuck it. Well, I might be 6.5. Yeah. Oh, 10, won't it? Yeah. Better than fear.

It's still sure. Thank you, thank you. That's still decent. Thank you. I'll give it a one. It's not a cult. Was it not a cult? You gave yourself a five.

Explain why it's not a cult. Right. We didn't know. No, that wasn't part of the house. All right. Which was also typed up. Oh, I didn't realize I had to do a presentation. How did you leave it before the pod?

I did it before I came in the room. But it doesn't mean that it's terrible. No, I know, but I've done the thing, but he's done the thing. I've done the thing, but he's put it together as a presentation. All right, go on, Will. Pull this bad boy up. Let's fucking rock your world. All right.

The eternal order of the goon. The eternal order of the goon. All right. 31 years over. Oh, we've got. That's fucking strength. We've got branding and stuff. I haven't you done that?

That should be spunk coming out of the side of all. Yeah. Well, we're working on it, so thank you. Anyway, what's the next slide? All right. True Enlightenment can only be achieved by stretching or gooning. long as humanly possible. The state of goon light is when the brain goes past

pleasure, past reason, and into a zone of pure focus. Like a monk. And we're all in on this. Well, I'll love a goon. What happens if you don't goon? Well, then you can't be part of it. Our leader! Our leader. Grandmaster Lewis Bowdo. Yes!

What the fuck. Edge lord of the seven continents. Said to have gone one's gone 72 hours straight without blinking, only leaving his chair to order a kebab and jump on River Street. And there's his portrait. Yeah, we keep that up in

all churches of the goonlight. Why? The monitor facing the wrong way. Because I'm wanting, I'm gooning. Yeah, he's just showing you the monitor. To the reflection. Yeah. That kind of looks like, yeah. It doesn't let you know that.

It's crazy. Our initial base, we have churches all over the country, but our main base is an old failing internet cafe. We have never updated the PCs. Every session is 50 p an hour and our members believe

the lag help it steepen the goon drag the lag yeah so when your shit's lagging you're like no I've got to stop but you're not

you're carrying out you know yeah yeah you're slowing the goon down for a moment rituals we've got a dress code it is joggers dressing gown and socks

that don't match that's literally you yeah which is pretty much every bloc our practices the hour of edge everyone sits in silence and we refuse to

climax chanting just a bit longer, boys. Oh, that is so great. In a circle. The sacred lube of anointing. Each new initiator is ceremonially handed a bottle of poundland lube. Did they sell lube?

And the worship of tab. Oh, don't act like you don't know. Yeah, you fucking know. They do sell lube. You must have at least 37 tabs open at all times minimum. Worship of tab. We have a diet code

and it's spicy chicken burgers from Manchester and White Monster. Damn. How'd you leave? Then exit strategy, you can leave this cult, okay? Achieving the final release. Wait, she's not a gooning cult, it's an edging cult. It's good.

We never actually get to, you're just always edging yourself. A moment so powerful that you transcend your mortal body or being physically removed by your mum. Yeah, nice. Yeah, just your mom comes in and goes, you fucking want. Get home. I'm doing a fucking lankland in an internet cafe like edging. I feel like it's where's their mothers come into the cafe. The mum's coming to the cafe.

I feel like this is like just every young boy. No, because we're getting together. We're doing it together. Wait, Josh, can I ask a question about that? We'll cover our knobs for details as well. What happens if you finish but you don't achieve the eternal light? That's a good point that you've asked there. Because you'll know if it's the final release or not.

But what happened to you can't? Because I think you have to have accumulated so many hours. You get transcended, man. Yeah. Just got to keep going, bro. It's either transcendence or posting up clarity. We're not going to judge and look down upon you if you accidentally not. So if you do, God forbid, you do end up spanking.

Yeah. Spanking. You'll be reprimanded. So this whole time you've never spanking, you've never spunked this whole time of being in the thought. No, he said you can. No, is that not the final transcendence? If you spunk back, you know, your final transcendence, you'll know when that is. I feel like, that's what I'm saying, you get kicked out.

And you've also got to do it in the church of Goonlight for the final Transcendence. In front of me, because I'm in front of Grandmaster. If you come and it's not, you're like, sinned. Yeah, you've got to be fucking screaming in front of this as you do it. So coming and sinning. Is it on my face or is it? Yeah, you got, yeah, you find? No, right.

You do have to do out of these things. Yeah, I'm a leader. I have to know that it's go un-inned. You're just under the desk getting into the internet. No, this is at the church of Goonel. I need to go on. Yeah, but the Church of Goon Street was an internet cafe with 50p per hour. There'll be a transcendence room for that, London.

So what you're saying is you're crawling underneath all of these chairs. On top of them on the knee to let them all make sure they're ready. The Church of Goon, like. Fucking hell. That was good. Well, thanks. I've really got any questions. I give it 7.5, 8.

I'll take that. I'll take that. Yeah, it's a cult for sure. It's definitely a cult. It's definitely a cult. Yeah, I like it. I could join. You could join.

You're welcome. You're welcome. I'll give you a nine. Oh, go on. 8.5 from me. Oh, thanks. Thanks, boys. All right, here we go.

Alright, next up. You have to wear your hands on plane. Reeve, if someone's to do with fitness, I'm fucking eating myself. Let's do this. Better I always now. Oh my God. So fucking weird, man. What does that spell?

B-E-A. Bean. A group of people dedicated to the worship of beans. All right. Something powerful about beans together that gives them perfect. Beans Sprout Light. That's true actually. Who are the leaders? Brother Wadch has now graduated from special training. After he's made to do that bean thing, you know, we put a bean in the end your knob. That's very good. And Mr. Bean, he doesn't actually say much, but he brings a vibe.

Yeah, that Wadge thing's very good. I begot it. Location. No, no, you don't remember when you made me do that. You know, with a bean. Bein in the end of your knob, man. Old warehouse down the back of the Heinz factory premises that people have been using for years to hide their bean worship and future plans to make the earth a better place. Always referred to as special training. Right next. They are fucking weird, so this is what I can fucking be.

A bath full of beans and cropped beans. I love beans, but like those pictures make me feel weird. Oh, bottom left looks like Theo. Absolutely horrible. I put the donut beans in for Theo. It does all that you, mate. I put the donut beans in for Theo. Not in like a negative way.

It looks bad or anything. Petty balloon. Yeah, petty full with beans, mate. All right, next. Oh, that bean a lollipol. Yeah. Oh, that's disgusting. Bean, nice, lolly, isn't it?

Next, please. That's Brother Omar. With a bean cannon. Well, he's actually... He's dead. They're all dead. They're all dead. They're all dead.

Wage didn't die, did he? No, they all... They all died, no? No, he did. That's why... Wads died and he didn't. They've been ruining it. The other guy.

You're a massive arseman. Seem what? What film? Oh, that's very much. Give me a back to your shirt. Don't worry about it then. There you go. You've not seen it?

Never seen it. He quotes it every day. I don't really need to see it. Oh, man. He doesn't know every day. Only for that. One of the best films I ever made. I know.

I just pulled out starting for your presentation. That's a bit mean, isn't it? Right, next one. How do you leave? The only way to leave as shown in special training is you put a bean in the end of your knob. So, would you do it to leave? I feel like these guys.

would want to do that a lot. Would you do it to leave? No, they're all bathing in beans. They're all having a beanie time. Beans are the only way. I'll do it. Yeah, well that's the bean. What if one like accidentally went up your knob during the bath?

Yeah, I'm putting it under me four skit, leave. It's one of those beans. Where am I putting the bean? Like, is it under my foreskin? No, no. The question is, would you be a bean fucker? Yeah. I'll do it.

I feel like it's too easy to leave. But what if I left without doing that? But only if you feel like leaving, bro, you don't have to, you don't have to, you can stay and just batting the beans? Well, what are you going to do if I just leave without putting it up my knob? No, you can't do that. No, what's it going to do?

They're going to come for me. Well, I'm asking if you... Drow me and... Would you want to leave? Bean gun, they kill you with bean gun. But they worship beans. It's actually quite a really secular moment where they put a bean in any of the... How do you join?

What? How do you join? You just go up to Brother Wadgele and Mr. Bean and ask. You never said that, though. You didn't tell us how to join? Oh, well, that's how you joined. Sorry, I thought that was like... Yeah, but how can Mr. Bean answer?

No, Brother Wadges, they're talking. Well, so you just aren't. Mr. Bean goes, and then Brother Wadges goes, come here, bro. Why did they say no? You want to join better Earth always now, bro? I like it.

Yeah, yeah. I'll give it, seven. I like it. No, it's not finished. Final thoughts. Oh, what? Go on then. After you return from special training,

just remember, people might ask where you've been. And then Brother Omar, although he's dead, Chip. That's cute. Although he's dead, Brother Romo is still part of the cook because he failed to put a bean in the end of his knob. Ah.

Tadda! How did you leave? What? Oh yeah, put bean at the end of the knob. That's the last lie. Sorry. Wait, so you join by asking and you leave by putting a bean in your knob?

Exactly, well. So if you're not enjoying it, you just put... I can't like it. It was inventive. Yeah, yeah, it was good. Give you an eight. Thanks. I'll give you a seven.

Thanks, man. I'll give you a nine. I think that's as good as me. Good, no. You know, you're handing out. That's fucking nothing, mate. I just feel. I feel a bit sorry.

Yeah, fair, fairs. Oh, nice. Okay, Lewis? Seven. Thanks, thanks, guys. I like beans, I like ice beads. Right. Brother wadgin that. Hello, if you want, my name's Lewis Borden.

My dream call. This is my dream call. Bolly Lewis Borden. By Lewis Borden. Boyd in case you don't know. Next slide, please. Did you make the presentation yourself? What the fuck?

Who the fuck is that? Is that you? That you? That could be an underage boy, mate. How the fuck? That is an underage boy. That's illegal, right? That's illegal, right?

No, you've actually just committed it. I don't look at your commit to crime. That's actually against a lot. What the fuck have you just done? I just typed in, man with ass out of the school. No, you didn't, mate. Who you got that from? Um, right, where's your laptop, we seize it?

We have to report that, genuinely. That's, so... My thing is... My thing is called... Can you get off this slide? Fucking peter. Let me... Hey, yeah, my thing's called...

My thing's called... My thing we're there. Hang on, hang on one more look. I'm trying to intro my cult. Yeah, we've seen it. Yeah, get off the slide. Next slide, please. Please.

Fucking hell. You're actually going to jail. I think it's going jail. It's on his computer. Yeah, that's crazy, actually. My idea, the ideology, so the moonites believe we came from the stars and we should return back to... You probably actually do believe this though. Next slide, please.

Oh, next bit. The only... Oh, this makes sense. The only way for us to get back there is to restart the Earth. Oh, right. So how do we do this? With charred porn. Basically, they go around, turning everything off.

So the only way for us to restart the Earth is to turn everything off. And then it all briefed off. What's got to do with a kid with his ass? You'll find out. Next slide, please. Okay, right. We only return to the moon once everything's been briefed. I don't believe he's in man with ours.

Luke, you know we actually have to report that. Yeah. He's not young. He's fine. Next slide, all this. How do you know? Is it on Google? Cheryl Cole, of course, mate.

She just randomly. Oh, some of the members. So we obviously got, we got Lance Armstrong, we got Buzz Lightyer, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Isn't that Boslund Street? That's not Lampstrong? That's the Niel. Neil Armstrong, I mean.

That's fine. Cheryl Cole. No. That's Neil Armstrong. Oh, Cheryl is snuck in there somehow. I think she's quite high ranking. Isn't it? Is everyone that we suggested for our dream dinner last week?

Who's the guy in the middle at the top? I'm not too. He just joined. Hey, he's actually just put everyone we suggested to go dinner last week. I'm not sure of the guy in the room. I'm not sure of the guy in the room. Oh, my God. How does your brain work?

You got Obama in there. What's a bomber in there? A lot of high-power people that want to be in there, you can't put an ex-president in with a slide where a guy's going fucking cock out, man. You have his cock out? Yeah, so a lot of leaders, obviously, like, we use...

That's what Buzz is staring at me? So, we use... What's his name? Neil Armstrong. I was going to say Bruce. Who's that? So Bruce, he sort of leads it a lot, but like isn't top leader.

Who's Bruce? Lance Lee, Neil. Who are you about? Lance Neil, Bruce. Next slide, please. All these people mooned to get in. What fuck is that? Now, what does moon to mean?

Like, pulling your ass out. Oh my goodness, done it again. So essentially, there's no way you downloaded the photo on the left. Charlie expects you to think that you're a straight male. So essentially to get into the... Also, that isn't moon. on the left. He's just naked.

He's just... Mooning is that on the right. You just typed in naked men. It's around his... It's just his excuse to Google naked men. It's round his ankles. Hang on. Hang on.

It's not. Read it bit by bit. You have to break into people's house. Boone them while turn their light on and off. So their lights are off already and you've got to turn them on and then turn them back off. So to get into the moon night,

you have to break into someone's house. What? Just to break him? This is fucking mental. Because what you're trying to do... I don't even know what the cults are about. I actually think I should be on the phones of the belief right now. He's talking about the stars and so you've got to turn the lights on and off.

By the way, this is... On first. You've got to turn them on first. What? It's a mental. Like, you're supposed to be a bit deranged. These think, by mooning you and turning your lights off. How about the breaking and entering? Yeah.

They're mental. The marilyn mansler ones murdered. How about the child one at the start? He wasn't a child. He wasn't a child. No, so basically, they're going... Resorted to Peter Philly and breaking an entry. The real, the reason you don't have to do these.

The reason you break in is you're trying to turn off their lights so you can restart the earth. You said they're already on. Yeah, no, they're off to be able. Then you turn them on. And then they're going to break into this house with all his lights off. Turn them on and then turn them off again. Next slide, please. Yeah, there's a good point.

So picture this, right? You're having like a birthday party. It's your... What do you have? Someone just moons the fucking cake. Yeah, there's a birthday party. Like, your mate's been travelling and you're coming around. Next slide, please.

Suddenly, the lights come around. go off. You just darken the pick. The lights are still on, by the way, in the background. Suddenly the lights are still on. They're still on. They're still on. It looks like I've squinted.

The lights go up. Next slide. Pandemonia. Everyone's screaming. What the fuck? They turn the light. It's fucking chaos. Everyone's shit in themselves.

Right. Then you turn all there and you look at it. Does everyone in this cold have to be seven then? You turn all there. To be scared of the lawyer's growing up. The birthday party is ruined. ruined! The lights are out! Can you just go turn the back?

These aren't in the cult. These are just having a birthday party, an innocent birthday party. Oh, so you would attack people at not in the club. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're screaming, ah! And then they turn to the door, next slide. Walking away. Fucking hell, mate, you are weird.

Yeah, again. Not moon. Yeah, not moon and just fucking naked. Naked man. Guys, cut out. Oh, you're fucking quads are massive. They are big legs of it. Fucking huge.

You see an excuse for him to look at naked men. That's almost Theo. So is there no women in the court? Are there no women in this cult? How do you know what cult? Why are all the photos men? So that's almost your cult. I mean, that is the story though.

They turned to the door. The lights are off. There's a shadowy thing. What is that original photo? I just typed in man light walking. Man light walking. But like he just, he's just, he's just, is that his initiation? He's just got into the cult.

You're a fucking weird guy, man. Next slide, please. You just got mooned. We didn't know. We didn't know. You just showed his legal photo. Showed his illegal photos. They went,

but he's just got moons. You just got arrested. I'm just trying to show you how he can be the phone. By the way, normally cults are like illegal, like the really bad stuff that they do. Are they? Name one.

Well, your ones, they murdered people in line. No, they don't get cool. Lou, your coach is just someone turning the lights off. And mooning them. You just got mooned. It spreads away. Yeah, but it's called trying to reset the earth to be.

I'm, you have to remember. So they can go back to the stars. Yeah, thinking about it. I'm starting to like... Wait, can I ask you, Lou, can I... How long are we allowed to stare at the naked men for? I'm sorry, Lewis, can I ask a question? You have to remember, Obama's done this. So your goal is to turn the lights off the next to the city to go to the moon?

No, it's to, it's for the Earth to reset and for us to go to the moon, you must turn everything off. So imagine if you're, if I'm part of the moon nights, I'm here, turn off those cameras, turn off the lights, I'm turning everything off because I'm like, we have to But what happens when you, what happens when this person leaves and you just turn the lights back on? Well, then, then, then, you're just turn the lights back on. Well, well, then That's the thing. That's why they believe that it makes sense because it's like, these idiots keep turn the lights back on.

That's why we're not ascending. Oh, you know what I mean? I like it. And you have to remember, Obama's went into someone's house, turn the lights off and moon them. A better way to have ended up presentation would have been a usual range

will turn the knees off and then get in your heart sad. This is comfortable brain. Let's do it now. That would have been a good way of ending it. Was this, was this derived from chat GP2 or not? No, I looked at that, but it was. That's what I searched in there.

He was just having like, No, no, no, no, that's worrying that this was in your mind. Chapman, give me the idea of the light switch. I added the mooning. Okay. He didn't come up with that idea. No, he did. No, he did.

You just got mooned. Next slide, please. Oh, there's more. Costume, option number one. So now mental, just normal clothes, just loosen up trousers, so you're always ready to moon someone. Then, for high ranking officers, option number two. Next slide, please. Wait, so they're, they're, oh, man.

So this is for high ranking officials. How can they moon that? Oh, they're part of the light. The Allegra Brigade. That's too tight. Yeah, they can't actually win. They're just getting their entire low body out. No, but is this not what you do once you joined?

Yeah, you joined your high ranking at this point. So it's essentially me and Cheryl in these ones. That's not Cheryl. Or you? I thought it was Buzz Lightyer as well. No, I'm saying like we're high ranking. And Obama. So the office is higher ranked.

Get to wear this. So they just, what do they do? They say, right, we're going to do this. We need to turn off this house's light. Go, they're sort of strategize. He's in good nick. You'll find out, because they have meat. Next slide, please.

All you've done through these presentations is coming on the men's bodies. There's loads from, I've got to say something, don't I? So the locations, next slide please, is where you can go again. Is that your bedroom? So Luce's bedroom for high-ranking officials. Is that actually your bedroom? And business meetings? Is that actually your bedroom?

No. And who are the high-ranking officials? So it'll be like, well, obviously me. Bruce. Cheryl Cole. Oh, what's Charlie going to figure out of it? I was like you. Fucking out Lord's this member of two coats.

Me, Cheryl Cole and Obama, really. Obama, really. But I saw Tom. But Obama has a lot of... You're on the high-ranking official, is, mate? You're on the high-ranking official, is, mate? He's on the 12thead! You might go in the wardrobe sometimes.

That's right. And yeah, you can come on in. But you'll have to wear the Buzz Lightier outfits that we were having. And save your beard. Okay, okay. So, yeah, that's where we'll have the business meetings and strategize. Next slide, please. Next slide, please.

But quick question, do you do this with the last on or off? Oh, there's the lights are off. There are off. You're off, yeah. Always off. Next slide, please. And then for other people to stay at home, you're doing a great job. No need to come to my bedroom at all.

Rituals. So when it's full moon, members should stand up and shout moon. They should leave whatever they're doing and go turn everything off in sight. I'm talking crazy shit. They're not going to be doing that anyway. No, only when full moon. What type of crazy shit you do. Do you know how infrequent that is?

You can't do it all the time because you get arrested. You have to be strategizing, Tom, you know? Yeah. It's only when there's full moon. Next slide, please. So like, imagine you having like a family dinner, okay? Can you tell which one of these are part of the moonite? Probably the young kid.

Yeah, the bottom right, because that's a weird guy, mate. So what, you're mooning in front of them, kids? No, no, no. He's fucking weirdo. If you read there, they didn't have to take the trousers off then. Right. They just have to go, moon and run out. It's daylight.

So which one we think is the night time? Not a full moon's not out. I think I know where it is. It's the guy, it's one of the guys, obviously, because you only put fucking maple photo. It's the guy on the left that's extremely happy. Next slide, please. There's a wolf.

So weird, man. You are so weird. This might be the weirdest shit. Oh, that caught me so off guard. It's a wolf. There was a secret wolf. The monster. Oh, Louis is unreal.

He's a wolf. Like, he's there. Will, can we go back a slide? Can we go back a slide? Look, he's all laughing, happy, but we didn't, you wouldn't know beneath that smile. There's a wolf. There's a wolf.

Right. Wait, sorry, I'm so confused now. So there's now werewolves part of this. Oh, this is good. Wait, what does the wolf? I'm invested now. What does the wolf do? Good question.

Next slide. So, Bob, right. That's Lewis. That's Lewis in a morning. What did you type in? So, once you have went through training, when it's a full moon, you can ascend to the

you can ascend to the book. And look at the, look at the one he gets of the guy breaking these. Look at the fucking, ooh. Oh, Oh my God, it's fucking, right.

It's fucking four kids again. Oh my God. There's so many, why is these friends walking is fucking That's a family. That's a family at the top. That's kids. The power's out.

The power's out. Why have you got kids in the dark? There's a power outage. Why? Because they took out the power. Right. Who did? When you go through training, when it's a full moon, you're so confused now.

Okay, I'll explain. What's the wolf do we? I'll explain to you, I'll explain. And why aren't the higher ranking officer's wolf? Oh, let me answer to these at ones. Let me answer these at one. Rather than people in Lycra. So, basically, when you go through training, all right, you were sent to a wolf.

Okay, it's like a higher rank from the beginning rank. It's below the business class. At this point, when the, when the wolves are gone out, when the wolves are gone out at this point, like me and Cheryl are strategized in my bedroom. And Obama, sorry, I bought up the back. So you, you and Cheryl, Don't become wolves? And Obama.

You're not wolves, though? No, where... Wait, so you just skip... So there's people above you? No, they're below us. But how did you get to that? The wolves are below you. They're like our top people.

They're like, yes, yes. Louis, you got a hole here. You guys graduated basic training. No, we run it. No, they're the original... We run it. Think of us like the government and we have like the seals

and the SES and that. Oh, and the wolves are our special operations. Jesus Christ, he should go right, carry on. But him and Cheryl never leave the business meet. I never leave the room.

No, because it sounds weird when you say, just mean Cheryl. Obama's there as well. And Neil deGrasse. In the wardrobe. And Bruce. So, like, at that point,

the wolves ascend, and they're running out to putting out power. They're, like, fucking going crazy mode. Next slide, please. What do that mean? This is what's going to happen if we don't restart the earth. Right.

Right. It's going to burn. Next side, please. Did we need a slide for that? Way too much effort in. So, the exit strategy. Allie. Nice man there.

Next slide, please. But that's not an extra shot? Oh, okay. So just give us back your trousers, 30-day notice, no hard feelings. It's not for everyone. Give us back your trousers. So you hand out trousers. You hand out trousers to do that.

Just give us your trousers. It's like, no more, Mary. I was like, go on. Yeah, we're trying to modernise the cult thing. It has a bad name of having to kill yourselves or kill people. So you make sure anyone that leaves constantly has their ass out. Yeah, just give you your trousers. 30-day notice, mate.

It's not for everyone. Off you go. Next slide, please. I like it. I like it. Any questions. So many. So many.

What was the wolf for again? What was the wolf doing? It's so, it's when you pass basic training and become basically like an officer below... Full-time Moona. Yeah. So what? Underneath your... So they wouldn't be on burglaries, they'll be picking our power stations.

Yeah. But how do you become a wolf? How do you become a wolf? Go on enough raids. So the average court members will be putting out like lights. Enough raids. Like, Fridge. Whilst the wolves have graduated from your average.

The average cult member to like, they're taking out power bank, power station. Okay, so the average court member is enough mooning. Yeah. Oh, so it's magic. No, training. We said, just answered, go through training and you said, oh, so it's magic? No, you go through training. Oh, like, there'll be a wolf.

And then when the moon's hits. Of course, see you don't get it. Have you seen Bach run on his, like, hands and legs? Yeah, it's like that. You run around the streets like that. Is he part of it? We just don't know. I'm gonna be honest.

It's a 10. It's a cult, like. Yeah, yeah, I'll give it good, I'll give it nine. I'll give it nine. The first slide was worrying. We got Cheryl Paul. I'll give it a nine. Thank you.

Yeah. I love it. It just concerns me that that's come from your brain. I think it's brilliant. I think it's a cult. Yeah. It's definitely a cult, mate. It's weird.

I mean, you did a cycling group. This is crazy. That's what colds are. That's in your head. I'm pretty happy with the moon. You want to return to the moon by mooning. That wolf man saved the presentation. That was so funny.

The wolf was the best. Well done. That's the winner. You know when you came up with it? Were you like enjoying making the story? Really too. I was really struggling, but then, you know, when it starts flowing, it's like, yeah. And when I thought about like restart, like how we restart to Earth and mooning and more,

you got into your flow state, yeah. I would tell you what, I'd love to spend a day in your head. Can you go back to the slide with the, um, the, the, the, the deer head? There's that one. Oh, did you have an Easter? No, down, down, down, down. Down, uh, the power out above the earth. That's the different level.

Can you pull that image out? Can you pull that image from the back ride, bring it to the front? I'll move the other stuff. Oh, you can't. Edd says it, fuck it. There's some other weird pictures there. It don't matter. Anyway, you win that. Yeah, congrats to that. That's it. Gigi, no re. Right then. One final

question to finish the pod. We ask every guess this, Chip. Every guess. Would you rather fight a gorilla-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized gorilla? Oh, definitely a gorilla-sized duck. Wait, wait, wait, 100 duck-sized gorillas. I think I'd fight 100 duck-sized gorillas. Could a gorilla-sized duck

not... No, I've got a hundred gorillas in front of me, but they're all the size of ducks. Just kick them. Yeah. No, but there's a hundred They collide in your head? So? They fuck like. No, but the size of that's... That's actually a good point.

Guerrillas are smaller than humans. Yeah. So you just pick the gorilla-sized duck. You just put the... The gorilla's like 5-9, aren't there? No, you don't mess with docks. Wait, what are you saying? What?

Well, a gorilla is about 5-9. That's what I say... So a 5-9 duck, I reckon you could take it. Would you rather fight one gorilla-sized duck or 100, like, monkeys? I'd have a gorilla-sized duck, for sure. What if the duck has to gorilla's strength? No, it's just the dog. It's just the size of the gorilla.

You break its wing and then... No, because the duck could flap its wings. It's like fighting a swan. Nah. It could. It could fly it. This is like the horse thing. Nah.

It can fly. It's not possible. What? Guerrillas are strong. It's going to be strong. Even a hundred of them little. What do you say about a horse? Ducks are still.

Ducks are not big. That's a goose. All right. They're still quite big. This can get big. That's enough to, a hundred of them. It's still fuck you up. They're not that big.

I had a swan on the way to work the other day. Okay. You what? There was a swan. Amazing. Anyway, thanks for the gift to the game. We'll see you next week maybe. Make sure you like and subscribe

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