Back Side - Getting Drunk at Ballers League, Going Ringside with Declan Rice & Theo Humbled by John Terry!

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. A VP at HBO said no one would ever watch Yellowstone.

Stephen King was rejected by 30 publishers. Charles Schultz was told he'd never make a living scribbling. And Missy Elliott was dropped by her label. The stories of famous names, their lesser-known rejections, and the insights those rejections provide. We regret to inform you the Rejection Podcast. Listen to Season 6 wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com Say hello to John Terry. John, keep going, mate! And, don't even smile. Oh, it's awful, isn't it? What was going through your head? John! John! John!

Keep going, John! You're doing really well! I said to him, do you sent him, I sent him. Do you know him then? I was thinking maybe Sakae. Yeah, yeah. No, never met him. So I went to the U-Bank Ben fight Saturday. There was a lot of footballers there, a lot. What's your chat to Dekkers about there? So obviously he's my...

Are you annoyed that he's replaced you with Deccan Rice? No, it's a good replacement. So obviously Rice is mates with Liv. He came over and we shook hands. He came over to you. And then he's like, Tom Garrison. Oh my God,

it's Tom Garrison for me. Gordon Ramsay was there. Oh, he's doing a half Iron Man. No. Welcome to our brand new set. Yeah, we've got new lights. And thank you for 50,000 subscribers. Thanks for 50,000.

Please like, subscribe, five stars on Spotify. We actually haven't recorded a podcast in about a month. You're up, mate. What's wrong with you? He knows he's got to do this all over again for another half an hour. Can you come in with some good vibes, please? Mate, we've had great vibes without you. Maybe you're the vibe killer.

Well, look at him. We just had a pint. We actually did have a pre-match pint, guys. How'd it go? Did you actually drink yours? I enjoyed Guinness. It was lovely. Theo left his drink.

Again? No, I left your drink. No, you poured out mine into yours, which therefore means it was yours. I finished my drink, poured yours into it. I had a different pint entirely. Why did you have such a problem finishing your drink?

Why are you not talking? What's your problem? Oh, he's got a safe word. Have you actually? Oh no! We've got to work it out. I want to kill Lewis. Die, Lewis.

Die. That's got to be bleep. That's horrendous. That's fucking bad for you. He says it all the time. Safe word. No, no, no. He's gaslighting us now.

He's never even said that. He always says that penis bumhole sperm spunk fanny vagina ax wound

ax wound ass wound do you know what I think he's actually more sophisticated than that I don't think he's going to be Clarence Sadoff I actually have a genuine question

which I came to the floor with originally. What do you mean? Also, it's his fault if he doesn't end up talking. Before we do that, can I just say shout out to Reeves Bad Wolf.

Reeves unleashed a wolf today. Yeah, it's actually class. It's philosophy. No, it's the dragon. It's good to have bad wolf back. Yeah, you know, when the sun comes out.

Well, the dragon was released yesterday. We went for a little first time pitch side drink after the pod. We did. Someone left with half a pint.

Someone did leave with half a pint. I finished the pint. You left one and a half pints actually. You left one and a half pints. And. You left one and a half pints. And I'll explain why I wasn't feeling well later in the episode, Lewis.

Oh, foreshadowing. Very good. Do you want my question or should we talk about drinking pint? Oh, I know what it is. It's brother. Yeah. Brother.

It's what? Brother. Brother. My brother. Wait, how did you wait how did you get that from him pointing at you because I was going

like that to Lewis so we went out you let down the team you were fucking embarrassing as always do you know what

because we were saying he was giving like the big one before like nothing better than a pint with the lads oh it's just amazing

oh I wish I was there now it's a facade mate it's a facade yeah it's a lie no I do love it I am hearing rumours though

that he went home because we were meant to go for a pint with the lads just as for It's a facade, mate. It's a facade. Yeah, it's a lie. No, I do love it. I am hearing rumours, though, that he went home because we were meant to go for a pint with the lads just us four for once, not on camera and you got your vlogging camera out.

I don't agree. That is true. I don't agree to that. I vlog my life now. Yeah. There's literally... No, you don't. No, you don't.

You wait until you're with your more interesting friends and film them. My bit back... Hey, you don't watch my vlogs. Charlie's the main star. kept poking at us to do things,

kept poking at us to do things on the vlog. Oh, do something funny for the vlog. What did you do today? You said to Reeve, take this camera now,

neck your drink with the camera underneath the pint and if you don't do that, I'm leaving. That's what you said. You're going to have to fucking hold that.

Hundreds of thousands of people weird to watch this stuff. This is a little behind the curtains Easter egg on Lewis's vlogs by the way. Yesterday, he said something that he thought was going to get a response from everyone this is a little behind the curtains easter egg on Lewis's vlogs by the way yesterday

he said something that he thought was going to get a response from everyone and nobody laughed and then he went oh just do a laugh off camera

and cut that in what did he say yeah yeah yeah what did I say you made like five minutes later said Reeve just laugh Reeve did a laugh

and he's like I'm going to edit that so he laughs he laughed he said a shit joke he's trying to don't ruin the art of the vlog. He said a shit joke. He's trying to do something. Don't ruin the art of the deal, man. No, you know what you are? You're snide, mate.

Oh, he said the S word. You are snide. Wesley Schneider. It's not legitimate content. You're just snide. You've never seen a single one of my vlogs. You know the funniest thing about your vlog? I watched one where the ones where you were mentioning me in the first two seconds. My ones are completely wrong. By the way, this is a I watched your 5am vlog where you lied about what time you got up. I'm saying that's the only one I watched all the ones where you were mentioning me in the first two seconds. My ones are completely wrong. By the way, this is the only time

I've done... I watched your 5am vlog where you lied about what time you got up. I'm saying that's the only one I watched. That's the only time all the others have been

based around what I'm doing. I'm not saying you don't. The bike one. I didn't watch it. I know you didn't. I knew you did because I dropped your bike like four times

around the house and I thought I would have got a message. Say that again. Nothing. Say that again. He said he dropped Jodie four times. I said I I thought I would have got a message. Say that again. Nothing. No, say that again. He said he dropped Jodie four times.

I said I was dropping game on the bike ride. Can't say that, mate. Well, what? I say, why would I have commented again? Nothing. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. You would know if you watched. Yeah, yeah. You're obviously just not a real friend. It's interesting. You're not a real friend. I watch all of

Theo Baker's videos. Thanks, mate. I watch all of Theo Baker's videos. I watch all of Theo Baker's videos. I watch all of his videos. Thanks, mate. I appreciate it Theo Baker's videos. You are more than I do. I watch all Theo Baker's videos. I watch all of Reid's videos. Thanks, mate.

I appreciate it. You watch them because they're entertaining. I don't watch yours because they're not entertaining. Oh. That's got to be a bit of it. It's actually true. You're a streamer now.

I'm a streamer actually now. It is you rocking up halfway between these shows and whipping it out for 10 seconds and then putting it away. Genuinely, my vlogs are complete shit. I genuinely tried to watch your stream. Tried?

I couldn't fucking... I felt like such a boom watch your stream. Tried? I couldn't fucking, I felt like such a boomer. I couldn't type in the correct Twitch username. I've had Twitch in the past. I clicked the link and it just wasn't, it was like opening Instagram and like,

I just gave up. I felt like such a loser. I couldn't work it out. I felt like a boomer. Damn, you missed out on a stream of a lifetime. Did you stream last night? No. Oh.

You should become an Inbroadcast streamer. What's that? I'm not going to lie. Half your streams have been me half your streams have been me smash trying to fix technical problems. You should have done a real-life stream of us drinking at a pub, mate.

Have you not got friends to go out with and life spends on with? In London. Do you have a girlfriend? He's looking at them. Huh? Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah.

Me and Charlie do stuff. Why don't you hang out with her? When's the last time you went out? You need to kiss that seafood bowl that me and Liv went to. I don't like seafood. You get to keep two cuisines to eat for the rest of your life. I'll give you options.

Oh, I see. Give me the options. So we have Italian, Thai, Spanish, Mexican, American, Japanese,

Argentinian, Greek, Turkish, French, Brazilian, Portuguese, Chinese, Indian, or Indonesian. I'll take Italian. yep greek turkish french yep brazilian yep portuguese all of the above chinese indian or indonesian i'll take indian italian gosh i am no you get to you get to you can only eat two for

the rest of your life for sure oh okay really for show and then turkish interesting i would i i personally would go greek and turkish and japanese i would go spend and Turkish. You would say Turkish. Greek and Japanese I would go. You spend a lot of time in Turkey. No, Turkish is like chicken, kebab, rice.

I order Turkish all the time. You spend a lot of time in them. I'm Greek actually. Maybe I'll go Greek over Turkish. I'll go Greek.

I'll go Greek. Mediterranean. I would go Argentinian and steak. That's a close one. What the fuck do Argentinians make? Steak. Gaucho. Argentinians mean? Steak.

Steak. Gaucho. Gaucho is shite. Don't you ever bring up gaucho and steak again. No, it's an Argentinian steakhouse. Don't you dare. I'm trying to give him an example. I'd probably go Argentinian and Italian.

Really? I'm 100% on Japanese. It's pizza and Italian. Japanese or Indian. You're up there though. Yeah. Pizza and Italian. Sorry, are we doing...

You keep two for the rest of your life. I'm sorry, where are they? English. Oh yeah, brilliant, mate. It's not... That's got not a scratch on anything. We're going to have fish and chips for the rest of your life. You'll never have a home comfort meal again in your life,

are you telling me? Which is what? What's your home comfort meal? Chicken tikka masala, is that what you're going to say? Corned beef. Corned beef casserole. That's Britain's greatest dish. Do you like shepherd's pie?

I like shepherd's pie. I really like shepherd's pie. I like shepherd's pie. Bangers and mash? I mean, you never have bangers and mash again. No. So you'd have bangers? I really like shepherd's pie. Bangers and mash? I mean, you never have bangers and mash again. No. I like British food. I like British food.

I couldn't give up a nice steak pie. Oh. You're giving that up. A parm or you're never having it again. It's like you're trying to do a profession of an orphan. Yeah, you really are trying hard here, mate. Like, we all know. We all know that you'd rather have pizza.

I actually think I'm right there. I'd miss my home comfort food No Italian is objectively Just better than British I'd say Italian and England It is 100% I'd have those two You'd never have chicken

You'd never have chicken and rice Ever again True My daily life You are going to have this But that's what Tom You're a terrible shaman

It's a joke Let us know your meals At the bottom I think it's quite a close one though. A lot of people, you know, like they do live

like a Portuguese peri-peri. It's a joke. Fucking hell. There's quite a lot of beast mode nation stuff that's been happening recently.

I mean, you did the Boston Marathon. We went beast mode at Baller League. You went to the boxing fight. Beast mode boxing, beast mode Baller League, beast mode Boston.athon. We went beast mode at Baller League. You went to the boxing fight. Beast mode boxing, beast mode Baller League,

beast mode Boston. Right. I went beast mode nation. Damn, loads of humdingers there. What was... What do you want to start? What was the most boring? Theo, how was your marathon going?

It was all right. Okay, what was the next one? Did you shit yourself at any point? Yeah, did you happen to shit yourself after we laughed at Tom for shitting himself? That's a genuine question. You shit yourself. I followed him

all race and he stopped for a bit thanks for clipping out the bit where he goes again and it's like no one responds to it like

I have done that before it will happen on the TikTok of us talking about it I say oh I shit myself the other day and you go

again and then it just cuts to me carrying on with the story like and the comments are like that's pretty funny again why is that

just being skipped past like I just agreed I shit myself multiple times that's a funny edit it's funny you did though yeah that's a funny edit that's getting caught

as well no I didn't shit myself in the race oh oh he actually did oh go on tell the story you pooed your pants

he pooed his pants in bed no no no after laughing at Tom for that that You pooed your pants. They pooed his pants in bed. No, no, no. After laughing at Tom for that, that's actually mental. He woke up with poo in his bed. That's karma. That's not what happened. It actually makes me worry, like,

who's next out of me and you now? So you're, like, basically on the borderline of death. You do have a loose arsehole, so it's probably you. I had a big shit this morning. I just made it to the toilet. So what happened was,

all right, here we go. I was on the way home and I went to order the chicken for dinner how much of this story you're about to tell

is completely irrelevant no this is very relevant wait what are you talking about on the way home from Boston on the plane right I went to order the chicken

they go sorry it was sold out of chicken sold out so what did I choose the next best thing lobster mac and cheese I thought you said you don't like lobster no I do like lobster but now I don't like lobster Of chicken. Sold out. So what did I choose? The next best thing.

Lobster mac and cheese. I thought you said you don't like lobster at all. No, I do like lobster, but now I don't like lobster. Hush flight, innit? Lobster mac and cheese. Lobster? Oh, yeah. I did ask to pay for it. Thank you.

Are the parents still on the board? You got business on the way back. They paid for my flights? No, it was a genuine question. I thought you were economy both ways. No. Business on both. Obviously.

He's not going to go on economy. How dare you? You've been such an adorable Obviously. He's not going to go on economy. I dare you. You've been such an adorable thing. That's crazy. Fair play though. I've got to rest my legs. Yeah, no, that's good. Sorry guys,

I can't do economy because my legs are so tight. Meanwhile, your mum and dad are still on the way back from Australia. They didn't come to watch. No, they're on a cruise, mate. They're still on the way home.

They're on a fucking dingy anyway as i was eating i was like oh this is all right but a bit like why am i eating all this anyways i land at 7am get out of the airport at eight and it's a two-hour drive back there's lots of traffic and i'm in the car and i'm like oh don't feel too good i'll just stop and get some gaviscon what's gaviscon heartburn i thought i'd had heartburn i was like fuck you're not seeing the advert with the little five the throat yeah i was not feeling good windows down i was like oh i almost pulled over to just be sick on the side of the road but i thought that's going to be if i do that as recipe for or a point's gone and i was getting it like 10 instantly on the toilet can you lose any explosive diarrhea

projectile vomit overdraftdraft of aura. Wait, wait. Out on the side of the road? No, get home finally. It was a really tough journey. Next few hours proceeded to, you know, we've all had food poisoning, right? Yeah, we have.

We have. What do you think, Poisonja? The lobster rod. You know, when you get food poisoning, you can always tell what it was. The scent of people in economy. Or the flight attendants. You can tell what it was.

Why didn't you stop eating it? Why didn't you think, oh, these peasants. No, Why didn't you stop eating it? Why didn't you think... No, Lewis. When you're eating it, you don't think it's giving you food poisoning. When you get food poisoning... I'm far too close to economy here. You've had food poisoning, right?

I've never had it. What? Fuck off, mate. You have had it. You just didn't know it was out. Use eat. No, use eat. It's substantially more weird food to me.

You can get it from lettuce, mate. You can get it from anything. You can't get food poisoning from lettuce. Get it from every food. You can. Pretty much. No, but You can get it from anything. You can't get food poisoning from lettuce. Get it from every food. You can. Pretty much. No, but you can look at lettuces and be like, that's all right.

No, you can't see bacteria. I've never had food poisoning. I've never had it. You can sort it. I literally couldn't even drink anything without being sick. It's awful. It's not fun.

You almost have like a feeling of, this is what I got it from. Like I've had it before. I said, no, it's the carbonara. You have to feel it. Well, usually, yeah, you go back to what you ate and then when you became ill. So usually, yeah, you know, you think twice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, usually, yeah, you go back to what you ate and then when you became ill.

So usually, yeah, you know, you think twice. Yeah, he's got a point to be fair. Anyways, that's the whole... It's not a week later and you go, well, that's Tuesday. I didn't have that Tuesday.

It was rough. I was like, in that sleep, just like projecting and just like diarrhea. You do projects a lot. It was a bad time. Astral projection.

What does it last for when you're doing all this? You weren't even there. She was out in bed. Get me over off your cuck. I was on my own. I was a bit like, I've just finished the Boston Marathon. My fucking legs didn't work. Johnny. Johnny. Mate, my legs didn't work. Johnny, I've shabby self. My legs didn't work. I'm going to work. Johnny, please. I'm coming in poo. Give me a double

neck of this. Please. That's all I wanted. Johnny, I thought it was sweat. Johnny, please. Stop ruining the story I've got I've got poo and cum everywhere no definitely not cum no it makes you feel better that cures every illness

now all I wanted to do after the marathon was just eat eat like loads of food but I couldn't eat anything but anyway you're used to telling this story

yeah you're talking about cumming where was I yeah you're a projectile vomiting event you got food I'll suck it off you're a projectile vomit in the bed you got food poisoning

anyway so I mean you shit your panties I finally stopped throwing up and like the diary is non-stop it's relentless man it's awful and I was like

I go to sleep I bet you it wasn't that bad about 4am about 4am I was like about 4am it was quite hot and I was like

oh I was like a bit sweaty I felt my shorts it was a bit sweaty you sleep in shorts like pyjama shorts yeah oh my god how old are you and then I wake up and I was like oh I was like a bit sweaty I felt my shorts it was a bit sweaty you sleep in shorts like pajama shorts yeah oh my god how old are you

and then I wake up and I was like oh I don't feel good and I come back to the bed I look at the bed like oh my god it's leaked out of me during the night

oh it's all brown on your bed it weren't a lot yeah it was oh what were the shorts on oh shorts and picture

shorts and picture oh it's shitty bed a lot. Yeah, it was. Oh, what were they? Take a picture. Show us a picture. Show us a picture. Oh, it's shitty, babe. His arse was leaking. Are you sure that's food? Are you sure that you weren't bleeding pus or something? I was shitting water. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. A VP at HBO said no one would ever watch Yellowstone. Stephen King was rejected by 30 publishers. Charles Schultz was told he'd never make a living scribbling. And Missy Elliott was dropped by her label. The stories of famous names, their lesser-known rejections, and the insights those rejections provide. We regret to inform you the Rejection Podcast.

Listen to Season 6 wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. ACAST.com Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. You sure it's not weird? His arm leaked. No, it was weird. It was made from his arm.

My shorts were like... It looks like it's seeping pus from a wound or his poo juice. Yeah, it was really bad. It was... You know when you felt degraded in yourself? I felt really degraded. I shit myself in the sleep. It was just leaking out

like I couldn't do anything you shit yourself in like a beach rag I was asleep I felt like what's wrong with me exactly you've almost been violated like a little leaky I'm leaking out my bum

I'll just sit there I'll just stood up and shit my pants but mate it was really hard to like have food poisoning and your legs not work as well yeah because like getting to the toilet was quite hard sitting down in food poisoning and your legs not work as well. Yeah. Because like getting to the toilet was quite hard.

Sitting down on the toilet. Jodie, look at me. Look at the fucking state of me, Jodie. I can't get much lower. Instead of my dream, my dream is like to eat unlimited food after exercise. It's the best feeling ever because you have no guilt. Is that a dream? But instead I lost 4kg this week.

His dream is to quit his job. I lost 4kg. I. His dream is to quit his job. I lost 4kg. I look gaunt. Gaunt. Anyway. Yeah, but my problem was this success.

So you had one of the best days of your life to one of the worst degrees. Was it one of the best days of your life? Yeah, it was unbelievable. That's kind of beast mode.

That is cool. That's beast mode, yeah. Imagine carrying a muscle. Oh, that's nice. I hate when you do that and comment on the quality of it. I didn't. I didn't. Oh, that's nice. I hate when you do that

and comment on the quality of it. I didn't. I didn't. I just let it happen. I think today's the first day I feel like normal again after food poisoning. Is that why you bottled the beer?

That's why I bottled the beer. Are you going to come for beers later with us? No, I've got to go to gym. I came to beers all with something. You didn't come for beers before. You came for beer.

No, we just went for a beer and you weren't there. It's work hours. It's not. You don't work. No, we just went for a beer and you weren't there. It's work hours. It's not. You don't work. Also, you used us for an ad. Let's not act like

you want me to go for beer. You forced me to get drunk on camera. I didn't want to have a pint. You said you weren't even drinking. I didn't particularly want to have a pint. I only had one because

I wasn't actually, but it's weird to do a Guinness advert where you go and then nothing comes out of the glass, and then put it back. You're not sipping on that, Reeve. That's a waste of good quality orange juice. Hey, I'm hot on the street, mate. Don't fucking...

Oh, you beer watching out, people like you. Also, got another question for you. Let's carry it over from the next one. Oh, you're homosexual? No questions from Boston, then. Nothing, okay. No, I want to ask you a minute. Mate, you, like, I'm not being funny.

What are you, like, it's a marathon. You do it all the time. Yeah, we're proud of you for running it with one working leg. I was proud of you, I'm not being funny. What are you like? It's a marathon. You do it all the time. We're proud of you for running it with one working leg. I was proud of you. You did well. Great. But I put one foot in front of the other for 26 miles. There we go, guys.

To be fair, you did vlog quite a lot of it. So it just sort of played down his life achievement there. No, but I'm sorry. Like what? Okay, maybe I'm being a prick, but what are we going to talk about, about him running for 26 miles? 300m elevation gain. No, but I'm like, okay, maybe I'm being a prick, but what are we going to talk about, about him running for 26 miles? 300-meter elevation gain.

No, Theo, that is so boring. I'm joking. You want to hear me shit myself? Yeah, we've done that. So let's talk about him. I've heard about you, mate. I've heard about you. I've heard about something you've done.

What? I need answers. Go on. Because I've heard you were caught in the office doing something the other day. There we go. Streaming. No, no. Oh, you have been doing that.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I'm on about? I don't know. I presume I was wanking or something. No. He's actually quite scared. No, I presume he's going to say I'm wanking or something. No, this is genuine.

Okay. You have no idea. I don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't, actually.'re talking about no I don't actually why are you getting so weird though yeah you are being a bit weird you look a bit weird you are very defensive right now

yeah look you've got to cross your arms I was not here before I was not like this before you started you genuinely have no idea what I'm going to say well I imagine when you see it

I'll be like ah last Wednesday I think it was oh Lucy do you do that oh my god do you do that many bad things that you don't know what's going to come out of his mouth?

Maybe. Probably. He can't even speak now. What are you going to tell me? By the sofas. By the dark board. You know that end where you work on the desk? Oh, mate, you actually look rattled here.

You did something by the sofas, no? I actually have no idea what you're on about. I genuinely have no idea what you're on about. I genuinely have no idea what you're on about. You look so rattled right now. You flashed. Oh. What? Your cock.

Oh, okay, yeah. Why are you getting so weird about this? It's just a bit weird. I flashed my cock. You flashed your cock in front of like eight people and you were windmilling it. You were getting really weird about it.

I know, it's just going on for a reason, I was trying to remember. What do you do in the office on your own? Is it true? Yes.

Are you being serious? Well, I can't really windmill mine, it's not more of a grower. But you got your fuck out to employees, friends. Well,

it's about certain dominance mainly in the workplace. Sorry, I don't know if this is serious or not, this actually happened because you seem

like really rattled right now. Yeah. You did do that. But like, he wasn't supposed to know is serious or not. This actually happened because you seem like really rattled right now. Yeah. You did do that. But like, he wasn't supposed to know. What, on a Thursday? No, it was Wednesday. He told me.

Heard he's not here. Oh, wait, so it wasn't real? No, he genuinely didn't. Were there women involved? You did actually get your cock out. No, there's no lass at all, bro. Lass? Sorry, you got your cock out

in front of the fellow studio. It was just a joke. Not girls, though. It was just a joke. Not girls though, it was just that. Who weren't girls? How old were they? What, the employee? Of age.

Of age. You have to be of age to know that. Why are you backing him now? He liked it. I don't see anything wrong with it, you just surprised me

you've done that. I didn't know he had a penis. Why are you so scared right now? Because I didn't expect him to know that. You look hella vulnerable. I am.

I only before windmilling my penis. Well, no, apparently you're not that. Well, yeah, this is why you can't get much spin is the problem. Yeah, so I just wanted to...

Did you ejaculate in it? I didn't ask you that anyway. No. He went to... No, but I mean, if it's that small, spinning it around is basically the same thing, isn't it?

Yeah, we went to win the sport. Chip and Kyle did that. For the boys. Said hello to John Terry. I've seen a video of John Terry please insert the clip insert the clip send in the clip insert the clip

oh it's awful isn't it what was going through your head John John keep going John you're doing really

well I said to him do you know him then I was thinking maybe Soccer Aid no never met him there's a previous

connection what the fuck are you shouting to John Terry like you know him? JT! JT, you're doing great! It's me!

JT, it's me! What were you actually thinking? Keep running, J! It was on the fellow's vlog, innit? It was funny. No, but no, but your camera's also like this.

Yeah, no, I did it for the vlog. For the vlog and that. Yeah, so they're using your phone footage for the vlog. Right, can I film a banning? That we're actually interested in or what? Yeah. We went to Baller League. No, don I ask you a real question that we're actually interested in or what? Yeah?

We went to Baller League. No, don't worry about it. We went to Baller League. It was kind of beast mode. I got lost outside London. Outside London. Go on, explain yourself. I was just on a line bike and I just kept riding.

And then I must have went the wrong way at one point because everything was just flat and green and the city was miles away in the distance. Here's a question. What? Where were you if you think you're outside of London? I don't know. Hackney Marshes. marshes yeah yeah whatever's outside of london my line bike stopped working have you not ever heard of like google maps i was using that

how drunk were you i wasn't drunk i was sober he's drunk peppered was he wait um wait hang on wait so what happened look wait tom was this after Ballers League? Yeah, you were on a cycle home. What, from the, from the Copperwood all the way to Mansion House

or wherever it is, Manor House. Your place is like 15 minutes away from there. Yeah, that's what I thought, mate. I cycled so far out of London

and then my bike stopped working. My legs are weak as it is. I'm like, I'm fucked because it's like not letting me ride it. I reckon you didn't cycle out of London.

Get your line bike account now yeah let's have a look where you went oh that's a good one I reckon he's just like in the park next to his flat yeah with a flat bike

my building's quite tall so normally I can look out to it as like you know Minecraft where you build like one big stack yeah so it's like a vantage point

but I couldn't even see it yeah what day was it yeah he was he was in good form, though. No, seriously. How many men would it take to beat a gorilla in a fight?

That's a good shout. This question's annoying, though, because are we taking into account... Average build men. No, no, no. Really strong gorilla. No, no, no. Are we taking into account...

Is it random men or are the first 10 willing to die? I think it's people that would be conscripted, I think. That's the... So they have the fear factor

in them. What? So, if the men have instilled fear of the gorilla, it's not like they're just like zombies who are just like

willing to go. Yeah, normal humans. I think 30 men. I said 30. I said 25 to 30. Because the first few are getting whacked out. How are you even... No, but whilst he's trying to kill the first five,

the other 20 are on top. How are you killing it? Strangling it? I don't think... It would be like just a swarm. I think 200 men isn't enough now. 200 men versus one gorilla. Have you seen how big... You are... They're not 200 men versus one gorilla. Have you seen how big? You are.

They're not as big as you think. Have you seen how big its neck is? They're not as big as you think. Lads, you say 30, right? That's not possible. It's too many men. Too many men. It is too many men.

Why is it too many men? Because where are they all going to go? Gorillas are like five foot. They're not even big. Yeah, but how... 30 men on top of you. Men are going to get crushed to death. Mate, you've seen the size of a gorilla's neck.

It's like this. You can't even choke it. Yeah, but you take its eyes and then you take its... You just pummel it. You just pummel it to death. Do you think you're going to hurt a gorilla with your punch? Not one of me.

In his face. 30 of me would. It would be like a little toddler punching you. It really wouldn't, Lewis. It fucking would. It really wouldn't. Have you seen that? They have fangs.

They've got the big man gorilla over here, don't they? They have fangs. Well, how many do you think it would be I'm not saying any person could hurt a gorilla but 30 of me could

you need 200 at least just kick in the bollocks so many people just kick the gorilla in the bollocks or the vag 30 of them aren't even

do gorillas have vaginas female ones do mate yeah oh god do they no they lay eggs well what do you think happens between a male

and female gorilla they just kick their babies. It feels like in the animal kingdom, it just always goes in the arse. What? Does it not? You're an idiot. You might be the stupidest bro.

Oh my God. A dog shagged the arse. No, they don't. What are you talking about? What are you on about? Puppies come from dogs having sex. Dogs don't have flaps. What the fuck?

First of all, what are you looking at? What are you looking at your dog's pussy? I'm not. I think we should question your... Clearly, I'm not looking. I think we should question your search history. How do you know they haven't got flaps? Because he's seen it.

What do they piss from? Their vagina. Where do you think they come from? It doesn't look like a human one, does it? Well, no, because they're not human. So a gorilla has flaps. I don't know. I don't know.

Female gorillas have vaginas. That's it. Why is that funny? Why are you thinking like Joseph? Do you? I don't know what I imagined. What is that funny? Why are you giggling like Joseph? I don't know what I imagined, but like- What do you think, so you thought they shagged each other up the arse and then got pregnant?

Do you know what reproductive organs are? I've never, I've never really thought about, does a gorilla cock look like a human cock? I don't know, I've never seen one. That's what I mean, it's so weird to like- Jamie, pull it up. Pull up his cock. Like, is it weird to search what a gorilla's cock looks like? No, I'm doing it now. Out of curiosity, I feel like we have to know pull it up like is it weird to search what a

gorilla's cock looks like no I'm doing it now out of curiosity I feel like we have to know what it looks like it's a picture of

mine oh it's not actually oh it looks like that I'm going to search gorilla cock no gorilla penis no but Reeves

already done it I've just shown you it and you laughed at it what's funny about that I would quite like to see it oh they look like this well they're tiny let me see cock. No, you're in a penis. No, but Reeve's already done it. I've just shown you it and you laughed at it. What's funny about that? I would quite like to see it. Oh, they look like this.

Well, they're tiny. Let me see. They are pretty small, you know. Which one is it? I reckon I... Weird that you haven't got one.

Yes, they fucking have. That is 100%. All right, whoever's put this in, that's Louis. That looks like a vagina to me. Whoever's put that in,

that's Louis's. I don't think they are penises. I generally don't think they do. Okay, they do, so let's put that in, that's Lewis's. I don't think they are penises. I generally don't think they do. Okay, they do, so let's just stop talking about that.

What are they? What are they? That's exactly what people think when they see yours, so I don't know what you're on about. People?

Person. Look, anyway, yeah, we went to Ballers. Why do you keep showing me that? It's just like interesting animal kingdom, isn't it? We did go to Ballers. For someone keep showing me that it's just like interesting animal

kingdom we did go to ballers for someone that's actually relatively smart the fact that you didn't know gorillas have

vaginas is crazy it's not it's not that i didn't know they had vaginas i know there's probably a hole there but it's just like i've never

considered it before why would you think about a gorilla because no because then i started thinking about it and then i just thought i've never seen a gorilla cock with i just, just, like, a fucking...

How often do you see gorillas? But maybe it's small because it hits against all the brushes, so it hurts, so it must, like, go inside. The brushes? Yeah, because if you're out in nature and you have a big fucking cock banging off your legs... The bushes. It'll hit off the bark on the trees.

It would fucking hurt. What do you think... It would. It would hurt. Like a horse. Or with the hug in the trees. Yeah, they'd just... They'd just grate the cock against it. Yeah, swinging a fucking 10-foot penis against it. It'd be like a dog. With, like in the trees and just creeping the cock against it yeah swinging a fucking

ten foot penis it'd be like a dog with like he's got like a little cover yeah so what's about the girl they don't have a penis yeah

they don't have a cock they don't need to swing no they don't have a penis but like just what like this sounds like stupid oh you're annoying me now

actually you're annoying me a little bit I find it genuine we can move on I just what's do you remember women go for so much?

I find that genuinely interesting. What's interesting to know that mammals have penises if they're men and vaginas if they're women. I don't get it. What's so fucking... It's just when you hear the word... He's fucking yawning.

When you hear the word vagina, you just think about how it looks on a human. So then imagine how it might look differently is like a weird concept. Why do you... Don't worry about it. Yeah, I'm not worrying. It's just interesting. I don't think it is. It's like a weird concept. Why do you... Don't worry about it. Yeah, I'm not worrying. It's just interesting.

It's really... I don't think it is. It's evolution, brother. I went to Chick-fil-A. And I got free Chick-fil-A. Because you're so famous and they knew you. No, the guy... The guy there, some guy... What is this, by the way?

Everyone got them. Where? What's the runner gave it Saw us, everyone got them. Oh. Where? The runner gave it to me, everyone got them. Friendship bracelet. Oh. London got them as well.

Don't act like you wouldn't wear it if you'd given it. I didn't say that. I also, congratulations, you're welcome. For what? Runner, celebrating runner's achievements.

Oh, congratulations, I'm welcome for pulling up your friendship bracelet. Yeah, they saw us filming, and then they just came over and gave us loads of fucking vouchers for Chick-fil-A. And they last two years.

Wow. So next time you go to America, I can give you some. It's banging. Chicken was banging. That's the crazy thing. I actually do want to try it. Gorilla vagina into Chick-fil-A vouchers

in two minutes. Raising canes, by the way. Have you tried raising canes? No, I haven't actually. why people watch the show. Raising Cane's, by the way. Have you tried Raising Cane's? No, I haven't actually. No, I haven't. Raising Cane's. Chicken was shit. The toast was banging, though.

Chick-fil-A is good. I like it. Chick-fil-A is really good. It was banging. And Moe's on a Sunday, though. Did you have a... Really? Have In-N-Out?

Apparently that's really good, too. That's only in the West Coast. West Coast, bro. Did anything else crazy up in our ball league? I can't remember. You were there. You don't remember.'s too drunk we how many times how many drinks you have at that night i know you just kept saying do you want another and i was like yeah you can't you don't count when you're on it the problem is right i'm sensible until i get like

tipsy which is very quick you're not so like after so after two pints i'm just like yeah i'll just keep drinking and then it gets stupid But like, you should know that. Lou, can you not say, can you not, do you not have the capabilities to stop drinking? Your customers are scrolling past your social ads, using ad blockers, and paying for ad-free streaming. But when they're listening to a podcast, they're hearing Acast ads, which are 4.4 times more engaging than with display ads. So if you want real attention, start advertising on podcasts with Acast. Start today at go.acast.com slash ads. I don't if you said it out yesterday I would have been on for the long one I'm really glad you went on

Tom definitely does have the capabilities to stop drinking I met Chunks for the first time and he smells incredible he smells fucking minty but he's given me his aftershave that he gave me I'm under strict instructions not to tell anybody

he smells amazing and after he's gone you sit there and enjoy 20 20 seconds of his scent. So you couldn't remember what you actually did there but you couldn't remember what chunks he had. That's how good he smelled.

It's not as expensive as you'd think. It's about 250 quid. Ah! That's expensive. Not for good. But how much? Not 40 mils?

I don't know, actually. I'd have to check. But... Superb. I bought like... It is. It's so fucking good. Like, considering I have like... Do you think that's a secret to hisb. I bought like... It is. It's so fucking good. Like considering I have like...

Do you think that's a secret to his success? I bought like Tom Ford before and that's like 220 quid and it's way better than that. Tom Ford's 220 quid? The nice ones, aren't they?

I'll be Nora. For like a decent one. I'm bringing them ours for like 400 pounds. We didn't ask. I'm wounded that Alan Shearer weren't there though. Yeah, he was.

He was in your vlog. Yeah, he was in your vlog. You made him and hooked him. Nah. Alright, don't worry about it. I'm really... No, I hate when... that Alan Shearer weren't there though yeah he was he was in your vlog yeah he was in your vlog you may have unhooked him alright don't worry about it I'm really I was no

if you're going to do it live by it live live by the sword mate if you're going to I do not care okay

about what he just apologised yeah he apologised I was just trying to contribute to the conversation and then he basically bullied him. Yeah.

No, but Alan Shearer, I imagine Alan Shearer was there. I would have been like, you talked to me, Richard. I could have chatted Alan Shearer. Wasn't that the only reason you went as well? Or because you...

Is that why you're going to go every week for the physical future? Am I just sitting here and trying to meet Alan Shearer? No, do you know what? I'm glad I didn't because I was so gone there. If I met Alan Shearer

in that state, I would have... Do you reckon, how do you think I would have... Do you reckon? How do you think it will go? Do you think you will be like a crazy lunatic Newcastle fan and he will love it or he knows who you are

or he finds you... He won't know. He won't have a clue who I am but I will be able to keep my composure. Why not? He looks at the podcast. He doesn't watch Pitchside.

I don't think he'd know. He posts. I've seen Pitchside on his posts when he posts top sports. I don't think my creatures knew who I was. I don't think he knows what he's posting. I've seen Pitchside on his posts when he posts top sports. I don't think he knows what he's posting. They don't look at

what YouTubers are doing. Yeah, Lineker knows who you are. That's for sure. He sees the competition. I don't think so either. Alan Shearer's watching right now. I think I just get

really nervous and like, if I met him with you, hopefully you could like smooth it over and make me seem cooler than I am when I'm like struggling

to speak. Is that how you view me? You think I'm cool? I feel like in that situation you could either look at me like I seem cooler than I am when I'm like struggling is that how you view me you think I'm cool I feel like in that situation you could either look at me like I'm an idiot

and let me drown or save me and I'd hope that you'd save me when it's Alan Shearer no but do you think I'm cool yeah

good boy oh that's horrendous you actually stroked him afterwards so subservient you're not even drunk mate

are you gonna go tonight don't know even drunk mate are you going to go tonight don't know maybe might do are you going to go tonight it's just like a whole evening thing and like

a hell of a drink I'd rather like a few beers in the you don't have to drink and you don't have to go for the whole evening I do like the ideas of a beer garden tonight

it's so hot and nice and we've been inside shooting all day yeah should we wrap this up then oh happily my life no no no don't worry we care too much

you got oh he got rattled by the crowd Tom Garrett absolutely done in did he no yeah so right

there were some lads there I'm saying he doesn't care about other people oh there were some lads there right and they were all they were all chanting Tom Garrett's punching

Tom Garrett's punching oh right that's not a rattle that's not a rattle that's a compliment Garrett's punching and then that's not a rattle that's a compliment that's a literal

compliment exactly if people start saying about me it's on the vlog Tom turns

to me end of the day they spent 20 quid to go to baller league what if

Adil does that no no what if Adil comes in a group and sends 20 quid

on tickets that sounds believable first of all it's a compliment second of all I was like first of all it's a compliment second of all it is a compliment

imagine coming to ballers league with four of your mates in Hawaiian shirts paying 20 pound while I'm sat here in VIP having free

also they don't have the self-awareness to know that to a lad that's actually complimentary if you're in a group of guys going

oh you're a fucking punchy mate what you think my missus is hot? Yeah. Actually, mate. You get free tickets to the event, right? Greatly accepted you in with open arms.

And you're going, look at these idiots. Look at these idiots who actually come to this shit. It's quite rude about Ballers League, aren't they? It was a shtick for the vlog. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. back track and Barry will call you from now on yeah Barry Barry back track and Barry back what back charred back shot Barry oh that's pretty

but yeah we did have a fun night Ginger's there Chunks was there all the SDS boys we had a good laugh anyone else want to name drop any other

events you went to oh yeah no come on we haven't talked about that no yeah I did have one of the best nights of my life

at the boxing Saturday go on now what you have to do is hear him out and then tell him how stupid it is. I'm not going to name stuff. Oh, come on. I need someone for the title. I need someone for the title.

Give me the names. Me and my big ears. Come on. Me and the whole England squad. I didn't speak to any of them. What did you do? I didn't. Who did you speak to then?

I spoke to... I can't remember. Where did you... You haven't said where you went yet. Go on. Oh, so I went to the Eubank Ben fight Saturday. One of the greatest fights in British boxing history.

Yeah, agreed, agreed, agreed. And it's the first boxing event I've ever... First professional boxing event I've... Sorry. I'm stumbling everywhere! No, because he went to his fight. Mine's professional. Sorry, yeah.

First elite... No, sorry. We literally went to his fight. Theo didn't get the joke. No, he didn't. I wasn't there. Oh, yeah, you didn't turn up. He does look like that.

I was in the middle of an iron, man. He does look like that, yeah. It's the first professional boxing event I've been to Which is crazy to think Is it really? Yeah No it's not Even I've been to like

More Wow I would have Expected you to go all the time Well done you're better than me Cool well done Anyway That's not how I meant it here buddy Just because you get

I've been to loads I've been to A lot of white collar stuff I've been to One of my mates And then obviously here I just thought as an avid Boxing fan you would have

Gone to a lot of fights But go ahead. Carry on name dropping. Let's keep going. Come on. I haven't name dropped anyone. You're about to though. Am I?

Yeah, you're going to have to though. I'm not going to? Yeah. You're going to have to though. No. Oh, he's such a big man. Stop joking. No, yeah.

So we... Yeah, no, sorry. No, let me carry on. So obviously Liv was working the event and that's how I got... That's the first name drop. That's how I first got in why are you looking at me for

with a work they gave me a working wristband but obviously I didn't realise what's that mean so you can go anywhere you get all access the ring well no

pretty much if you're working you get access to everywhere don't you to the ring it was honestly fucking old Tom Garrett to the ring

it is mental walking around just like with access to everywhere around do what you want first aid can't go in there. I can.

Yeah. Well, no, they just went, oh, we know you. You can go in. Anyway, there was, it was a star studied event. Who did you see in the last one? Dizzy Rascal was there. Was he? I really had to stop myself.

Why didn't you get a photo? I love Dizzy Rascal. Why did you not talk too far? That's like my strong target. Some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free. He seems like. Possibly, but I just thought, even the just think I'm free He seems like Possibly But I just thought

Even the footballers Over there He's one I would have Definitely I was so close But I just thought Michael Ward was there actually Oh nice

No no The only person I said hello to Was Declan That was it Declan First name basis First name basis Robert Eglist

Footballer What did you chat to Declan Rice about? Wait have you not met Michael Ward before? No Never What were you with? Declan Rice about? Wait, have you not met Michael Ward before? No. Never. What were you in there? And again, I did think I could have brought

you two up to him about what you told us but... Oh, yeah. I bet you didn't do that. Yeah, I didn't know how that would have gone but yeah, there was like...

What did you chat to Deckers about there? So obviously... Are you annoyed that he's replaced you with Declan Rice? No, it's a good risk for this one.

It's a big risk. How have I replaced him? Well, because's a good replacement. It's a big upgrade. It's a good replacement. I'm more interested in... Have I replaced him? Well, because you went ballers league with Lou. No, with Declan. You had a conversation with Declan Rice. Well, no. So, obviously, Rice is mates with Liv.

They've done loads of work together. What are you talking about? I want to know what Tom Garrett and Declan Rice have come through. So, he came over and we shook hands. He came over to you? No, no. Yeah, no.

Because Liv asked him to do an interview for DAZN and he was like alright then I'll come over and say hello Tom Garrison oh my god

it's Tom Garrison oh my god right I know you're jealous but let's just let's just relax so he come over and he just started

telling me he's dad's best mate he's a West Brom fan and I was like oh nice and then he was on about this story of Pitchside that he watched So he'd come over and he just started telling me his dad's best mate's a West Brom fan and I was like, oh nice. He's like, and then he was on about this story of Pitchside that he watched.

So he watches Pitchside. When I was on. Why are you claiming that as your thing? Yeah. I said something about Craig Dawson and he said, he found it really funny and he sent it to Dawson

and that was it. And then he's just asking, we was asking each other. Do you know what clip it was? I can't remember what I said. He said, I said, I called him a greedy

turncoat I think that sounds like when he moved to Wolves yeah yeah and he was like mate and he literally said to me me and my thoughts were like that

and he said I sent it to him straight away and we were just pissing our pants because you're like because your accent the way you're just going at him I was like oh fuck him

and then did he make you say any words no no he was just laughing he was like hearing him in the accent. You know when they... No, when you know like, oh, can you say like... Can you say, how can you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stuff like that. Can you say, yeah, you? I don't think he's that avid of a watcher of mine, but... No, but I mean like when you hear people... He comes up, yeah, you? Yeah. No, no, yeah, you.

I meant as in like phrases from the black country. You know, like when you go to Liverpool, when you go and say... you go, I say, chicken and a can of coke. Like that. But I was talking so he could hear me. He wouldn't have to say,

yeah, I mean, he heard the Tom Garren live in flesh. That's so cool. That is crazy. That is so cool. What an honour.

Yeah, he's genuine. That was Richard here. We had like, it was like five minutes. It wasn't that long. It was just, he was asking me

because he was telling me he wanted Ben to win because he's mates with him and stuff like that. You were so annoyed that you'd been replaced, haven't you? Yeah.

I don't think so. I heard a rumour that the entire England squad pitched side on repeat before games. There was a lot, there was a lot of footballers there, a lot.

Any others? You just said there were. You just said there were. I don't know. I don't know how many, I think a lot of footballers there. A lot. Any others? He just said there were. He just said there were. I don't know. I don't know how many. I think a lot were trying to be on the radar. What were the ones who were on the radar? Rashford was there.

Yeah, he was on the radar. He said hello to you, didn't he? No. He said, all right, I told my G. No, he didn't even. I don't think he saw me. He probably swear. All right, I told my G.

It's me, Marcus Wexford. Roy Hodgson. Tommy's back. Poor old Tommy. It's me, Michael Wickman. Brilliant. Evening. Look at me. I'm doing it the other time. Stop, stop, stop. I can't wait. a couple of trips was there really no trip oh yeah trip oh uh yeah i don't know how many of them were but okay gordon ramsey was there i did a half iron man I'm fucking mad these podcasts

so much yes why did you bring that up why is that right it's just one fact

of every person you've met we've done Luxembourg half hour man we've prodded you mate all the jewels yeah say another name He's in Luxembourg half-hour, man. With Prodigy, mate. All the duos. Yeah.

Say another name and see if you've got another round. Who else, Billy? Gibb was there. Ali? Yeah. Oh, was he?

I didn't see him there. Oh, shit. Were you because you weren't there? How would you have seen him there if you weren't there? He's a YouTuber. Ed Sheeran was there?

Oh, my God. I thought he was. No, no. He's got a Tango Icebl't there. He's a YouTuber. Ed Sheeran was there. Oh my God. I thought he was. No, no. He's got a Tango Ice Blast sponsorship. He's got to be every fight, mate. I can't believe

you thought it was Ed Sheeran, man. That is crazy. It looks... Have you ever seen him? Yeah, I met him. He looked so much like him. But only from a distance

if you're squinting. By the way, how close do you think I was to him? You can tell that it's not Ed from I was to him? He must shag. You can tell that it's not Ed from him. He would.

He must shag. He said that twice by the way. Yeah. They didn't hear me the first time. That fake Ed Sheeran is a fucking shagger.

He is shagging everywhere. I don't think he is. What are you on about? On the wall. On the floor. In the kitchen. When they see he doesn't have the tattoos they probably think he's not Ed Sheeran about? On the wall. On the floor. In the kitchen. When they see he doesn't

have the tattoos they probably think he's not Ed Sheeran. Do you think people are that clever? I see his face. I see the money. He's shagging.

I would know that wasn't Ed Sheeran only because I've seen him before. Because you've never seen that guy. I've done a TikTok with him. So I can't get off his

butt. Ed Westwick was there. Oh, gossip girl. Oh, white gold. I know. Again, I had to stop myself. I really wanted to go up to it. Ed Westwick was there oh gossip girl oh you know white gold I know again I had to stop myself I really wanted to go up to it

who else who else please Tom give me a finger JJ yeah I shall speed did he say like I didn't see speed

he was next to JJ he was next to JJ no but JJ come in on the red carpet where Liv was working so I saw him with my own eyes he's the guy sat next to JJ in the blue.

I didn't see JJ ringside. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Whoa. You've changed a lot since you came through the back or something. I didn't see him arrive. Would you say he arrived through the fire exit? I knew you were going to do that because I was going to do that as well. I don't get it.

It's a joke from the Auroys. Carry on. Inside joke. Did you see Eddie Hearn? Well, yeah. I saw him there. Did you see on inside joke did you see Eddie Hearn well yeah saw him there did you see him

you were ringside you said you were ringside yeah but he was the other

side of the ring there's like an inner inner ring you were

out of ringside you can't get any close but the inner ring is like cameras and media You were out of ringside. You can't get any closer. Why are you telling us what the story is? But the inner ring is like cameras and media.

Yeah. Or like Eddie Hurt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell us your ringside. If you're not ringside. Yeah, you're not ringside, mate. The stories have become shit. Well, all right. Yeah, so I wasn't ringside, you broke bitch.

Did you see Ring Saeed? No, you're right. I didn't really say that to anyone because obviously I was there as like, I don't know, it was weird. It wasn't that top of the line. People don't want to be bothered when they're, I wouldn't want to be bothered.

You waited for them to come say hello to you, didn't you? How far was the bar from the centre of the pit? You just paused for that weird drink. No, I know, but you did this a long way, right? It was a pretty long way, yeah, because you've got to think you're walking through the centre of the pit. And you've got to fight off all the fans as well.

And Marcus Freshman. Who else? Obviously, Bellew was there working it. Did you say that? All right. No. What are you doing?

You're sat like a rocker in your seat. No, I just sat there enjoying the fight. He's sat there shitting himself on his chair. So is this segment we just listen to Tom

talk about names for? You brought it up. You brought up Tony Bell, you mate. I went on a fight with Eddie Earn or something. Did you know? I've got a good story about Tony Bell. You said you were at home shaking. I was.

Yeah, that is weird, mate. At least I was asleep. That's fucking shit. That's worse. But no, I've never experienced... I've never experienced a boxing event, and it was really cool to experience that. I've got a story about Tony Bell

he's got a story about Tony Bell can't say it though right great great contribution it's crazy it was a mad fight and I was saying to you

it's like obviously I can tell you like I know what Chris was feeling and it must have been like fucking euphoric and I understand I've been there

as the professional fighter in Fort Stokey I did a walkout. Stop stroking your arm. Why? You're like a heroin addict. You sit there like this. Go like that

for the last two minutes. It's creeping me out. Sorry. No, no, but you, yeah, so. I understand what it takes. So Ben and you, they're walking out

and you know what that feels like. I'd argue my, I'd argue my fight had more stakes in the way that mine had a tattoo on the line. I think you're right. Are you on or not?

Yeah. I probably know up to 80% of how he felt when he won. Up to 80%? Yeah. Can I do like a rematch?

Yeah. So he sold out arena, ton of hotspots stadium, biggest British boxing fight in probably like 15 years or so. Yeah. You know what that felt like?

It was fast. A man that went into a fight against a bloke 15 years or so. Yeah. You know what, you know what that felt like? It was, it was, a man that went into a fight against a bloke that had two weeks training and you had one working leg. Yeah. That's why it's way more adversity

than what you bank had to go against. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. I actually agree with you. I was, I was like, I was like the Connor Ben

in that situation fighting up weight classes as well. Yeah. You know, I can really relate to that. You've got a great point, man. Yeah, thanks, mate. Well done.

But yeah, so Chris, if you're watching, I'm proud of you, man. Chris! First name basis. Yeah, have you never met him? What? I've never met him. No.

Nah, you? Is that, well, that's a normal question. Technically, you've met him. Well, no, technically I haven't. Nah, that's not me. I'm just looking from a distance. Who else did you chat to then? Come on. Keep going.

No one? Keep going. Perform. Literally no one. Parsons is there. I'm sure Parsons. Is he... I thought he was still knocking around in Budapest or wherever he was.

Budapest? I don't think he lives there, mate. He went there for a holiday. Did you see His Excellency? Who? From across the ring. Who? And Goldstein was there as well.

Oh, he's there now? No. Who did you say? I don't understand what you... Do you expect me to... Who? From across the ring Who? And the Goldstein was there I saw him Oh say hello No Who did you say? I don't understand what Do you expect me to What am I going to say I thought you had anecdotes From the evening

Get some sort of Yeah If you're on ringside VIP to that Even if you didn't Just make it up Alright You've got the box

To create content stories The only one I'll say is I saw Ollie Watkins Get annoyed with Gareth Davis Who works for Oh you can't say that, mate. Fuck it, Al. They shouted him.

Too much info. Too much. You could say it. Because I think he didn't want to be interviewed or said he was there on the broadcast and then Gareth Davis

stood up and like started shouting. No one could shout to you anymore, mate. Started shouting like, we've got England's star striker. And he was like, that's me, Mac. Me, Mac Rashford from Canada

Rashford's talking to you me Max you know me what's up Tom Rashford is he's got he's a very

questionable club I must say that's me Max my club he's got like Richmond clothing but like

with zero style whoa you've just been uninvited to the Man United pre-season tour is he going to be there next year

surely he's going to be there yeah I know I know what you mean sometimes just because he's expensive his clothes look

really expensive but it's like it doesn't look like he's that reminds you of anyone else you don't have expensive clothes

you're wearing a fucking Arsenal pair of shorts Uniqlo top isn't it anyway uh talking of stories

and shit out my mouth do you want to do Gaz Gobbles oh please I know it's what the fans want this one I don't know the current scoring I know I'm winning

I do have some sad news before we do this oh go on oh no yeah legit I don't care my tummy shrunk so I can't eat as much anymore

that's devastating and I tried I can't believe I'm so sorry yeah sorry mate I tried having a curry you can only eat the much anymore. That's devastating. And I tried. I can't believe it. I'm so sorry. Yeah, sorry, man. I tried to have a curry. You can only eat the one pizza now. No, that's why you only had half a pint.

I can't do it anymore. My tummy shrunk. Yeah. So now I'm going into training my tummy. Are we ready? Half pint, Malfoy. All right, Marcus. Sorry.

Right. I just got a Dobby rock there. You ready? Master only wants one half pint. You have to do this guy's good words in Marcus Rash's voice. So the first one is, the first title is, Town declares squirrels legal citizens after local referendum. Oh, that's so true.

Mask him, mask him. Mask him, mask him. Ask him, mask him? Man survives after being swallowed by a humpback whale. Oh, I've heard about that one. Moby Dick. I've actually seen that. What, in a book? No, I saw the news article.

It's real. Nokia. You'll get swallowed by a whale, mate. They don't eat meat. Man legally changes name to Salmon to win free sushi for a year. Oh, that's smart. That's, that, ooh. I need some guy.

I need some guy about this one today. Oh, it's a fish related one. There's actually a guy at my school whose surname was Salmon. Connor Salmon. Leaps like a salmon. No.

Does he have a free sushi? Nah, but the humpback whale one's real. I know the story. Pinocchio. They don't eat meat. That's why he spat him out.

They didn't. Out of his ass. He was swimming and he was around plankton. How do whales mate? I'm not this a bit off, but how do they lay eggs? Well, they're mammals.

They produce baby whales. Yeah, they make love. But like, they don't, there's no way whales have sex. Well, they do. Quite literally,

they do, mate. They're mammals. Underwater. I don't know how many times we need to tell you this, right? Mammals. Do you know what's crazy?

Reproduce by having sex. Do you know what's crazy? If whales watched this show they'd also ask that about you so underwater whales have sex you know I think they rotate

Luke I think they rotate to no genuine fun fact is that a humpback dick is bigger than a human is that why they're called

humpback what bigger than a human dick you're human is that why they're called humpbacks no because they might have sex different no they're called humpbacks because they have dick you're human is that why they call humpbacks no because they might have sex different no they

call humpbacks because they have going back to guys bubbles uh the humpback one's a real story okay okay we couldn't have the left legs i'm not this is let's get the let's

get the details no no no all right fine well let's just get some of the other two then hey let's just fucking sack off what do you want even though everyone enjoys where

was it what where was it it was in Cape Cod. Massachusetts. You can't say that. Massachusetts. It's not in Massachusetts. Where is it? Where is the deal?

It was June 2021 in Massachusetts. It wasn't in Massachusetts. It's no ocean in Massachusetts. It's Massachusetts. It's there again. Machu Picchu. Well, other than the Atlantic right by it. So it wasn't in Massachusetts, then it was in the Atlantic.

You can't say the word. How can you not say the word? How can it be an estate in the ocean? Say it. Sorry, what's the, what's the, is it? You're so thick. You know Florida's connected to the sea and California's connected to the sea. Yeah, I know, but when you go in the sea, you're not in California, you're in the Atlantic.

But it's part of... That's the point. Wait, so you're saying in LA, if you're on LA beach and you step in the ocean, you're no longer in LA, you're in the sea. No, you have to go a bit further than that. How far is the catchment area? Well, you should have said...

Well, there is lines what there is like actual lines until you come out of like US territory of course there is but that's quite far

into the ocean yeah but alright here's one for you then alright imagine you're swimming up the coast of America right yeah at what point are you in Florida and what point are you in New York

well I don't know that there you go no but the question the question is at what point are you in Massachusetts you what point are you in New York? Well, I don't know that. There you go. No, but the question is, you've said, you've said, after you go past the border of them, New York's not even next to Florida.

Florida's the other, complete other end. If you swam up. Well, you'd have to go through fucking all the Carolinas and Delaware and what are you on about? Yeah, so which one is it?

After you get past the one that's below New York. No, but you're saying, there's no line. You're saying, there is, there's borders. No, in the sea there isn't. It would be adjacent to the border.

Yeah, if the American... Oh, it's out far out until it becomes England. There you go. Wherever the... I'm making a... No, you're not, because the... Wherever the point... The point you're making backs what we said.

If there was a whale in that part of the world, it would technically be cast as being in that state, wouldn't it? Dublin is in New York now, is it? You've been in City now. You've actually been in City now. Is New York even on the coast? Yes, it's on the East Coast, Matt. Well, you should have said it was off the coast of Massachusetts.

It's technically the same thing, isn't it? He's not saying the whale's in the fucking high street. By the way, how big's the wheel to swallow the amount? It's a humpback whale. Is that, that's not a great white. I mean, blue. Five times the size of a great white. He can't swallow a human.

It's too big. They can and they have. And then they spit them back out again because they don't eat humans. It's called maybe dick. But he wouldn't eat them anyways. Michael Packard, a commercial lobster diver, was actually swallowed

by a humpback whale while diving off the coast of Cape Cod. Coast. Ah, there you go. It's not going to be Boston. It wasn't in the town centre, was it?

But he said that one's true, so it should call a Cape Whale. Or Cape Salmon. That's really good. That's good, mate. Don't ever say that again. Packard was about 45 feet deep when he suddenly felt a huge bump.

45 feet? The scuba diving? And then everything went dark. At first he thought he'd been attacked by a shark, but quickly realised there were no teeth and he wasn't injured.

He was inside the whale's mouth. Miraculously, Packard survived with only minor injuries, bruises, and a dislocated knee. Marine biologists explain that humpbacks

are not aggressive toward humans and that it was likely an accident. It's a mistake. Yeah. Hmm. That seems pretty real.

That seems fairly real. 45 foot is quite deep. It's a crazy story, but it seems fairly real. It doesn't. It swallowed a human and he didn't know it was even,

like, where he was. What did he know? What? Sorry? What? What was that? That was the ramblings of mentally ill patients.

What second is there? Hunting for lobsters. No, yeah, because the whale might have been trying to eat whatever was near him. The plankton.

And then he's accidentally consumed the human. Yes. Potentially. It's very believable. It doesn't necessarily mean that that's the true story

or fake story but that could occur it did happen so all he saw was darkness and he didn't know where he's at have you ever had

that after a night out once and I was in the toilet in the travel lodge I was in the toilet in the travel lodge

and I must have passed out and I woke up and it was pitch black I didn't know where I was and I was like drunk and I was in the toilet in the travel lodge and I must have passed out and I woke up and it was pitch black. I didn't know where I was and I was like drunk and I was like, like this.

It's not quite the same as being swallowed by a whale though, is it? Do you turn into like an alien when you drink? No, but it was like, it was like when it's darkness and all of,

I remember I was getting lost in like the, the shower curtain and I was like, what the fuck is this? So you were in your bathroom then? And I was like, what is this?

Yeah, but I didn't know where I was. Right. I didn't know I was in a toilet fuck is this and I was like what is this yeah but I didn't know where I was right I didn't know I was in a toilet you're walking I didn't know where what are you sure

you weren't on are you sure you weren't on LSD mate I don't know what was going on but like it was the most scared bit of my life

I'm not joking like it was imagine you're in this room I'm sorry that's a dramatic time for you

but getting lost in a shower we have to ask about it have you ever closed the door on a travel lodge

and seen how dark it is? What? It's fucking dark. Okay. That's real. Let's get number one then. Anyway, yeah, like Theo said, that one's real,

so you can count that off. What psychology? Which one do you want? Which one do you want now? The first one. A, please. So the town declares squirrels legal citizens after a local referendum. Is it the town of Springfield? No, it's Greystone, please. So the town declares squirrels legal citizens after a local referendum.

Is it the town of Springfield? No, it's Greystone, Vermont. Ooh. I know Greystone. So this could all be in America, in which case we have no... This was in April of 2024. Oh, recently. Well, a year ago.

You said Greystone. Greystone, Vermont. Wait, is that a squirrel park do they have local are they grey or red right in a move that left legal scholars

baffled and residents either delighted or furious the small town of Greystone Vermont has officially declared squirrels as naturalized citizens following a narrowly

passed local referendum. Were they grey or red squirrels? It doesn't say. Well, it should do because it's very important. You've been rumbled. Thick. Where do you want me to...

It doesn't say anything. Because there's a real shortage of red squirrels, Tom. They would say... It would specify what kind of squirrel. Yeah, it would always. If it was red squirrels,

that would be more believable. If it was red, it would be more believable because they are natural citizens. Sorry, surely it would be both. Oh, what's wrong? You're trying to defend it. Oh, you don't know your squirrel law, do you?

You don't know squirrels, do you, mate? That's true. Clearly don't know squirrels. Grey squirrels kill the red squirrels. What? They fight. Is it a squirrel? Grey squirrels.

Massachusetts? Squirrels. See it again? Grey skittles. Is it squirrels or Massachusetts? Squirrels. Together. Massachusetts.

Was it? it oh fuck it he does he does i'm actually you know about obviously the famous squirrel war oh no

there's a squirrel war is your tongue like too small there's a squirrel war there's a squirrel war there's a squirrel war there's a squirrel war there's a squirrel war

there's a squirrel war there's a squirrel war famous squirrel roar roar fuck squirrel roar yeah that's a quill oh uh famous squirrel roar uh roar fuck a squirrel roar you think that's the thing

yeah that's a lot of shit squirrel war it's hard it's hard you say squirrel war squirrel war it's hard though

squirrel war I think his tongue's too small so Lewis has decided that one's fake so do you want to hear the third one uh yeah please

because it actually doesn't get many right. It's weird, you can't tell us it's a real name. A man legally changed his name to Salmon to win free sushi for a year. How's it spelled? As I think it is. S-A-L-M-O-N.

Yeah, okay, so S-A-L-M-O-N. Salmon. I thought you said Salmon. S-A-M-O-N. S-A-M-M-O-N. This was in March of 2021 in Taiwan. S-A-R-U-M-E why would why would that get

free sushi so in Taiwan a restaurant chain offered a promotion if your legal name included the Chinese characters

for salmon why are they speaking Chinese you would get free sushi not just for yourself Japanese but for your entire table.

They don't speak Mandarin. Yeah, why are they asking for it? Why are they talking about Mandarin in Taiwan? Sushi's Japanese, not Chinese. In response, more than 200 people rushed to legally change their names to include salmon, creating what the media were dubbing

Salmon Chaos. No fucking way. Lord, shit that. So two fake ones then, in your ideas. Only one's fake. Oh, we're guessing the fake one, aren't we? Yeah. Mate, we've done this for like 14 episodes.

No! Fuck. Yeah, what did he say? What did it ask say? Did it ask say A? He already decided A is fake. So what are they again? Squirrel War.

The Squirrels are legal citizens now in Vermont. But you can't tell us if they're red or grey so I think that's fake. Good point actually. You would know

because they're very different. Yeah, they are. People chose their name to salmon to get free sushi. Yeah, definitely true. And someone swallowed

them that way. I think it's the Squirrel War. You know what? Locking in? You know what? It could be. Why would he be so confident when he said, oh, well, you know, that one's real.

That's very wrong. Was it Michael Dresden? No, he's trying to double bluff. All right, well, go on, genius. A. A. Okay. I'm happy with that.

Locking in? Yeah. A. Okay. We've locked in now. You can't do that after he says okay. No, end of it. Locked in.

Thank you. So we're voting on the squirrels. Right. So the whale... He's far too confident. ...was true. Told you. He's one.

Beast my mate. The salmon was fake and the squirrels are true. I knew it was a salmon one all along. I knew it. I told you we should have changed it. I said the salmon one personally.

You didn't really contribute much though, Ruf. Why blame it me? I don't know. You led the conversation saying A. Yeah.

But you should know enough to listen to me. In hindsight, the obvious answer was the salmon one. Well, yeah, I don't think they speak Mandarin in Taiwan.

But I said that. I said that. Why would they? He it said sushi which is a japanese cuisine and then they said they changed their name to chinese version of salmon so why didn't you say that i did actually say that but i won we didn't really look into it in the end i actually did say that that's on var mate japanese cuisine in china doesn't make sense looking back it was stupid yeah i'd say it's another thing like japanese cuisine in england doesn't make sense you could say looking back it was stupid yeah you could say like Japanese cuisine in England doesn't make sense

we also get told off in the comments for being shit at this yeah we are shit at it I don't know why though you are pretty shit at it so would you quite hard

odds are stacked against us yeah true are they though yeah but you're now looking back and saying that was easy to spot now but we just listened to Lewis

so they are actually citizens in the town the squirrels. Are they red or grey? That's mental. How can he be a citizen? Exactly. I just read the article.

They have little citizen cards. Yeah. Little squirrel citizen cards. Can they go on the bus? No, they've got briefcases, little briefcases. Oh, with like monocles and stuff. Do you know squirrels remember your face?

So if you wrong it, it'll like look out for you so will you say you were stupid not to pick the salmon I feel like looking back a Japanese

restaurant in China is just do you think that was stupid of you to miss that it's up to something no I don't

because I think you're lying because I think it was the squirrel one still and we are correct no you know I was just asking just to admit you're thick double check the fake one actually was the squirrel one still. And we are correct. No, you know, I was just asking. I wanted you to admit you're thick. Double check.

The fake one actually was the salmon one. Yes. Okay, he's not doing like a triple bluff. I think there's only way to sign out, isn't there? And that's the only way to sign out is Marcus Rashford signing out. Goodbye, everyone. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend ever heard a story so wild you just had to know if it was true I'm Alexis Steele from Degrassi

and on steal my story we put celebrity guests to the test join me and comedian Ian Fisher as we play a hilarious game of true or stolen story. Our guests share two stories, one from their own life and one they, shall we say, borrowed? Can you guess which one really happened to them? Subscribe to Steal My Story on the Sonar Network or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com You made it to the end.

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