Back Side - *HEATED* Cheating Girlfriends Argument, Milk vs Potatoes Debate & Ouija Boards Real?
Episode Date: January 23, 2025Things get heated as the lads debate what is more important, Milk or Potato. Tom drives Lewis to the edge of madness in new game and is this proof Ouija boards are real?If you'd like to work with us, ...email the studio on workwithbackside@fellasstudios.comProduced by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden.
If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week.
And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram,
where all you have to do is search Backside.
Let's get into it.
Give me a full-on solid before I knock his head off.
Just calm down.
There's calcium in my-
No! No!
Every time we'd get in the car, we'd go,
I wonder where the sock is, for like 10 years straight.
Oh my God.
Honestly, this is the most degenerate pod
we've ever done, man.
This is actually horrendous.
Mainly because he's led by him.
Literally, they're gonna pull the plug on this pod now.
I've got to hand you him out.
I can't believe it.
There it is!
What an ending. Are you deaf or thick? Which one is it? Choose, I'm out. There it is! What an ending!
Are you deaf or thick? Which one is it?
Which one is it? Deaf or thick?
She was already dead to me the moment she cheated on me.
The Space Jam pen's got a little basketball at the end of it.
What the...
Hey guys, welcome back to Backside and today we have a beautiful day.
Why is it a beautiful day, I have you ask?
Well, because we know that... Is that a real plant pot?
That's what?
Oh my god.
That's your mingany.
Wait, we've had a real plant pot this whole time.
No, don't just weigh down his mic.
How did you do that?
I don't know why you did that.
How did you do that?
I've got like a little gap in my teeth.
But how did you get that much, so much power?
Shall I?
No, no, don't.
Don't.
Mate, there's,
can you,
how are you doing?
That's actually kind of impressive.
Thank you.
I have weird things like that.
I can do that.
If you're listening,
go watch on YouTube.
But no, seriously guys, make sure you subscribe because we are so close you're listening Go watch on YouTube But no seriously guys
Make sure you subscribe
Because we are so close
To 50,000 subscribers
On YouTube
It's insane
So subscribe
Like
Rate us 5 stars
On Apple Podcasts
And Spotify
And guys let me talk to you
About
The secret
Life
Of everyday objects
What are we doing?
I don't know what he's doing
You can't just do
The fourth segment of the pod
Did you ever consider No no no You're're doing straight into fact no it's not
fact what is it this is a talking point is this like sausage pie guys the guy does uh did you
bath salts and then he can see all the things and he's like don't eat me he's eating the children
did you ever think about toilet paper oh i don't often hate toilet paper. I don't often think about it. No, well, you don't. No, why?
Because it's everyday life.
It's a mundane thing, right?
Toilet paper used to be
one of the most luxurious things in the world.
In China, back in the day,
it was considered a luxury to have toilet paper.
How else do you think they wiped their arses
before toilet paper?
They didn't.
Or just didn't.
Yeah, they didn't.
They went to the baths.
Yeah, what? You just did it like a dog. You went, boopie. It's probably cleaner, isn't it, really? They didn't And their hands Yeah they didn't They went to the baths Yeah What
You just did it like a dog
You went boopie
It's probably cleaner isn't it
Really
Using water
It's like the bidet
Is a way
The bidet
It's actually the bidet
The water pistol thing
I thought it was the bidet
Yeah
Where it's not really a water pistol
Have you used the water pistol
No
Yeah I've used it
It goes up your bum doesn't it
And then you poo out the water
No you close your bum
You don't
No you don't
You don't open your arse It goes up No you don't do that then you poo out the water no you close your bum you don't no you don't you don't open your arse
it goes up
you know you don't do that
oh you should
you spray it onto the bum hole
you do a couple wipes
to get the big shit
out of the way
agreed
and then you go
like that
a TV's tell
we don't need a TV
I like to poo inside of the
I mean I like to wee
inside of
so we think
toilet paper
you're gonna finish that
sentence
every time
you wipe your arse
think about it
some people don't have toilet paper right it used to be ancient my mate my mate's little brother's got
cerebral palsy and then he's uh he's got like a special um this isn't a joke why are you laughing
why are you laughing because he's he's upturned i think it's really inappropriate for me that's
really fucking rude for laughing he's got like obviously special equipment in his bedroom and
in his ensuite and his toilet is fucking amazing
It's like a robot. Yeah, it just does everything for you take a shit and then it doesn't even obviously cleans your ass
There's like different spray thing cleans it and then it dries it. Oh does it it's fucking
Anyone just buy that kind of toilet or if you want to I mean you just expensive I knew a guy that
Imagine it's subsidized by me. I'll imagine the government give it in because he's got so i knew a guy
whose job it was to sell those like robotic toilets actually i don't know if he's i don't
know what i think he's got so i went on a conversation i've created i went on a toilet
in um germany and when you flushed it like it looked like what were you doing in germany
i wasn't in the brothel it was closed there's a restroom right outside though and there was um
it looked a bit like technological
but now normal
and un-weird
un-weird
I flushed it
and then
some guy's hand came out
wanking you off
but I flushed it
and then the toilet seat
whilst I'm on it
started like
turning around
so I'm on it
and I'm like
oh you've been revealed
to the room
take me out
sounds like he was
in a brothel
I don't know why
there was no function
to that
it doesn't achieve anything
suddenly he was in a bedroom that's toilet don't know why. There was no function to that. It doesn't achieve anything. Suddenly he was in a bedroom.
That's toilet paper.
But have you ever thought about socks?
Yeah.
Have you ever thought about socks?
I've got some if you fear.
We just put socks on.
I said another one.
No!
Not a right and a right.
You said it was your New Year's resolution.
No, I lied.
It was a joke.
You bastard.
That is just scum.
Does it not feel weird on your feet?
You both filed your new
Resolution
Socks are responsible for some of the world's greatest
Mysteries wank anything about that like when you lose a sock yeah, yeah, where do they go in the washing machine?
No, but surely the wash the washing machine just eats socks.
That's what I'm convinced by.
We had a sock go missing once when we were kids in Greece
and it flew out the window.
My little brother was little
and it flew out the window
and every time we'd get in the car
we'd go
I wonder where the sock is
for like 10 years straight.
What a family.
Yeah, I know.
Do you ever think about that?
No, I don't think about you
and your weird family
getting in the car.
The most outrageous thing
about that is they've managed
to continue it for 10 years.
I kind of understand.
Where's the sock gone?
Where is that sock now?
It's the thing,
where actually is it?
Where is it?
No, because I heard this thing, right?
It was like,
do you know when you're playing footy
right and it's like
oh that was my goal
that's my goal
and you're arguing
with your mates
who argues about
whose goal it was
we were kids man
I was like
no it was mine
mine mine mine
I'm trying to get
the last word
I remember walking
off the pitch
when I go home
and I was going
mine mine
in case he
was saying it
as well
that's raging ADHD
and then every time
that memory
comes into my head I go you're actually looking at it a bit differently I don't understand what that means was seeing it as well. That's raging ADHD. And then every time that memory comes
into my head,
I go,
you're actually looking
at it a bit differently now.
I don't understand
what that means.
So every time
that would come into my head,
like to now,
I would say mine.
So you're convinced
that he's still saying
it somewhere else in the world?
Yeah, you know who you are.
Niall, mine.
You know the sock thing, right?
Yeah.
Not only socks, yeah.
This one time,
again, I don't know
where we were,
but we saw out the window
the back window
this old like
granny lady
she could have been
like a hundred
a granny lady
and she was chasing
after this tractor
obviously she's not
going very fast
the tractor's clearly
going to get away
not very fast
similar to the sock
we'd always go
I wonder if she caught
the tractor
where's that old
crippled woman
chasing the tractor
do you think
this is going to go
down well for you yeah I don't care man there's talking points we used truck. I wonder if you say anything. Do you think this is going to go down well for you?
Yeah, I don't care, man.
There's talking points.
I'm sorry.
We used to say,
I wonder where the old lady is.
I'm like, where is she?
She's probably dead.
She'll be dead.
Yeah, she's dead.
Every car journey,
without fail,
you'd say,
I wonder where the sock is.
I wonder where the old lady is.
For about 10 years straight.
I fucking meant to say.
You'd be like six,
probably six.
That's weird.
Do you ever see,
look, someone in the car though and think
I wonder if I'll ever
see you again
yeah I do that in public
yeah
you go up to them
and say I wonder
if I'll ever see you again
or maybe I have seen
I wonder if I've seen
you before
and like
but it was like
on holiday
there's a high likelihood
that you're brushing
maybe I'm the weird one
because I never have
these sort of
yeah but you have
no stressors in your life
Tom you just go through
like
how's that stress
and I think
you're on the
on the spectrum you're just like really like just How is that straight? And I think you're on the spectrum.
You're just like really like
just like off the spectrum.
Like he's not even on it.
I just think you like...
He's on the Kievan spectrum.
I mean, I look at people
and just think,
fuck me, you're pathetic.
But I don't think I've ever seen...
Did I just say that out loud?
He's on it.
So?
I'm the undercard just looking at it.
You just stare at people.
Fuck me, you're pathetic. Oh shit, sorry. You ugly, smelly... so I love the undercard just looking at the other end and saying fuck me
you're a potato
oh shit
sorry
think
you ugly
smelly
think about
two things
okay
what do we think about
we think about potatoes
and what else
do we think about
what
what we think about
what are you on about
what have you
right
what have you
typed into chat
GPT for this
don't worry about it
let's think about
potatoes that's the talking point what's it. Let's think about potatoes.
That's the talking point.
What's the original question?
The panic when you went for his phone.
No, no, no.
We're not answering the question.
Any talking point in group conversations
would make me seem cool.
Have you, Adjalee?
I'll tell you the after show.
You're ruining the facade.
What are you doing?
The facade of what?
I'm smart. Have you ever thought show. You're ruining the facade. What are you doing? The facade of what? I'm smart.
Have you ever thought about potatoes?
No, not frequently.
And bread.
What about bread?
Only if I need bread at home.
Okay, so riddle me this.
You've got a potato in the ground.
How are you making at least 30 different items out of a potato?
Who comes up with chips?
Who comes up with crisps?
Sorry, Theo.
We are currently recording to black magic cameras
yeah on a device that stores data that will be spread across the internet and your thought your
thought process is who made what is fucking really innovative in society is who's created
chips from potato yeah think about potato is one of the most versatile fruit and being
was it do you know it's not a fruit it a vegetable. Do you not understand how ludicrous,
I'll have it,
I'll have it.
The idea of us on a pod speaking to someone in Brazil.
A potato.
It's crazier than someone cutting up a potato.
We are,
but what you're saying isn't that crazy.
A potato is the most important vegetable in the world.
It's just types of questions to AI.
And that's the,
yeah,
this is what it is.
It's somehow artificial intelligence on his phone phone it's basically a supercomputer in his
hand and he's going you could imagine how crazy you were to think of a fucking set imagine imagine
how stupid the question is if the most interesting answer is potato you can have a 20 course meal and eat fish as potato. Mate, you're saying words.
You keep saying words.
The level of consciousness
doesn't make it any more impressive.
It doesn't acknowledge everything that we're doing
compared to chips from a potato.
It's crazy.
We're in an all-new law.
I can't believe you've tried to use chat GBT
to look smart
and you've ended up with
potatoes have a lot of use.
Do you know what?
If you'd have gone
fucking out isn't it crazy like i've just asked a thing that doesn't even really exist and it
charges in the real world for talking points on the show that is mental like that imagine like
500 iq that is and somebody just read what it's told potatoes i didn't read that i made it up
and i'll tell you this what do do you mean? What do you mean? What are potatoes?
Oh, mate, give it a rest.
Switzerland.
Okay?
Yeah.
It's the neutral country, isn't it?
Yeah.
It's never got involved in nothing.
I mean, it's quite positive, isn't it, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, but it's good at banks as well.
Because it's a plus.
But, did you know it is illegal, illegal to own one guinea pig?
Is that true?
Yeah, but you're allowed two.
I don't believe him because-
Three, four.
I'll be getting lonely.
It's because a guinea pig is considered a social animal.
I had two when I was in there.
I actually had four.
You are not allowed.
So if you get caught with one guinea pig, fucking dead.
But what if the other's dying?
It's just like the day of the-
Or the guinea pig.
You have to go get another one, mate.
Mine is still buried in my mum and dad's garden.
They don't do anything for you
well they come
around with the
RSPCA and stuff
you must get him
a friend
Swiss RSPCA
also when you say
milk's more versatile
then
it's not vegetable
milk's from a
no I'm not saying
but in terms of food
milk's in more food
than
you're not saying
what you're saying
no no
I'm not saying
I don't understand
what you've done what do you want to saying. Potatoes are the most important thing on earth.
What do you want to do?
Get him started.
Mate, are potatoes more important than milk?
Oh, I disagree.
No.
Are you all right?
Milk's in more things.
What's more important?
Which kind of milk?
Because I mean like...
All right, let's tweet.
Let's put it to the...
Okay, what's more important?
Guys, if you're watching at home right now,
if you're on Twitter...
Humanity wouldn't survive without milk.
That is factually accurate.
It wouldn't survive without potatoes as well.
Yeah, you would.
I don't know if that's true.
You can survive without potatoes. Are we just talking about cow milk? I feel survive without milk. That is factually accurate. He wouldn't survive without potatoes as well. Yeah, he would. I don't know if that's true. You can survive without potatoes.
Are we just talking about cow milk?
I feel like cow milk.
He said any milk.
I feel like only cow milk
versus potato is fair.
You're not allowed.
That's cheating.
Not breast milk.
What is more important for society?
Cow milk.
Potato or milk?
Chips or milkshake?
Yeah, milk.
Well, that's true. Ice cream or... All right, milk's got cheese milkshake. Yeah, milk. Which of these? Well, it's true.
Ice cream or...
All right, milk's got cheese.
Butter.
Yeah, yoghurt.
Yoghurt.
Flour.
I mean, or bread.
Flour.
Bread.
Yoghurt puddings.
Yoghurt puddings.
Chocolate.
Milk chocolate.
Chocolate.
Yeah, chocolate.
Potato.
Sweet potato.
You're using different forms of potatoes.
Potatoes. Potatoes. Sautéed potatoes. Cucumber. Hash browns. sweet potato potatoes so a potato rosti's mashed potato pom purée yeah i understand
isn't pom purée just french mashed potato no oh you don't know the difference potato
puree is now maybe that's true actually
let me tell you
a little fact
about pom puree
what the fuck
is going on
this is
we are 27 minutes
in and even
our listeners
who at this point
expect the bullshit
I didn't think
the show would get
to this position
this is crazy
we've genuinely
run out of so much
stuff to say
that our only
lead conversation
is Theo talking to a robot.
This is at the start of the episode.
He has just disrespected
all them good chefs out there
by saying,
Oh, my.
You're boring.
You're boring.
It's an art.
Pompure is an art.
Now, would you like the next point?
I'll tell you what Carnivore is.
Are you done yet?
Do you know what?
This is at the start of the podcast
where you want the hard-hitting good stuff
for them to stick around.
This is what people expect.
This is 6am kitchen conversations.
It's dropping.
The numbers are dropping
about a second.
I kind of like it.
If you're still here...
Have you got a philosophy?
Yeah, definitely do.
I did it early for philosophy.
Yeah, I thought we were going to talk
about life and stuff first.
We did that earlier?
No, no.
What do you mean?
Last week?
We've got nothing to talk about.
We haven't even made a clip about this, guys.
Let us know
what is more important
for the earth and society
Potato or milk. It's gotta be milk. I think potato
This might be I want to draw a line of this. What kind of milk are we talking? Cuz we're talking every single kind of milk
It's cow milk
No, no, we're not cow milk vs potato
Look there's not a fair
It's not fair to be all milk
Is that almonds?
No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean like animal milk.
Like breast milk.
That's shit though.
No, breast milk's not involved.
It would cow milk only. Animal milk
against any form of potato.
Yeah, animal milk. Cow milk.
Animal milk, milk wins.
Is sweet sweet a potato or not?
Animal milk- Sweet is sweet, mate.
Milk? I don't know.
If it's only cow milk, then it's a close competition.
Otherwise milk easily wins.
The real debate-
Are you trying to restrict my boy?
Yeah, but that's the real debate though.
But that means
may as well bring sweet potato
in the conversation then.
If we're changing animal,
we can change potato.
Did he say cheesy mash
is one of his things as well?
Yeah.
Which two?
I said that.
To be fair,
you can't have the cheese
without the milk.
If we're changing different animals,
if we're changing...
Sam has got a good one.
You need fucking milk.
We said that exactly.
Combine them two.
But if you're changing animals,
then we can include purple potatoes,
which keeps people alive in Japan.
That's fine.
You can have all types of potatoes.
Against all types of milk.
Yeah, there's the...
What's the tier?
Blue zones.
But this is what you have to ask yourself.
It's like Barney's cock.
Didn't all those blue people exist?
But the dinosaur of Van Barneveld.
You know, like the question of like,
is there more doors or legs or whatever?
What? Wasn't it... Doors or there more doors or Legs or whatever What?
Wasn't it Doors or windows
Wheels or legs
Wheels or doors
Is there more wheels
Or door frames
No it was
Is it chair legs
It's legs
Yeah legs and wheels
No it was doors or windows
Wheels or legs
It was
It was doors or windows
It's not
It's wheels or legs
But now the new question is
Milk or potato
Milk or potato man
What's there more of?
No, what's more important?
Also, isn't mashed potato
a combined in milk as well?
Only if you want to make it nice.
Yeah, if you put butter in,
yeah, exactly.
So you're fucked, mate.
No, no, spit butter in.
Yeah, but you do really, don't you?
Where are you getting
your carbohydrates from, mate, buddy?
Smashed up mash.
I can guarantee you
that if you had to only survive
on milk and any form of milk
and potato and any form of potato,
I'm living long on potato.
No, you're not.
Where are you getting hydration from?
Milk.
Water.
What are you on about?
From potato.
You don't get hydration from milk.
Milk.
Are you all right?
Are you joking?
It's a liquid, Lewis.
Are you joking, you dickhead?
Of course you get hydrated from milk.
No, you don't.
It's very commonly known to not hydrate you.
No, but it's still liquid content.
Oh my God.
It doesn't quench your thirst.
Chocolate milk does. Milk is hydrated. Chocolate milk does. Yeah
If you drink liquids that acts towards the water levels in the well, no, it's not quench your thirst. Oh, yeah That's no can be hydrating
You are so dense there's scientific evidence that suggests milk is even more hydrating than water alone.
Oh, see?
I said chugging milk as well.
I agree with you on that, by the way.
But I'm saying, hypothetically speaking...
So you couldn't last longer on potatoes?
Just calm down.
There's calcium in...
No!
No!
That's a mineral.
That's more hydrating than water.
Milk and water or potato and water?
Water. Milk is good for hydration, but water is better option purely for hydration.
No, hang on. I said there's some scientific evidence that suggests milk is even more hydrating than water.
Chocolate milk that is by the way.
The fact that you don't think drinking milk would hydrate you is crazy by the way.
Mate, I'm sure it doesn't quench your thirst.
I don't need...
No, not quench it.
It doesn't matter if you're parched or whatnot, mate.
Yeah, it does.
Drinking liquids...
That's how you know if you're hydrated or not.
...help you to keep your water levels internally.
Who told you?
Is that a watermelon?
That's another good one.
That's another one.
What? I don't even know what that is.
No, but if we're saying potato and water and milk and water,
what are you lasting longer on?
It's potato and water.
I don't know if that's true. I think that's true. Well, you're potato and water and milk and water, what are you lasting longer on? It's potato and water.
I don't know if that's true.
I think that's true.
Potato and water, you can live forever on it.
Milk and water, you can definitely die.
You couldn't survive as an adult male on only milk. You're not going to eat.
You just drink milk.
You could.
No, you fucking couldn't.
You could eat cheese and milk.
I'm pretty sure there's stuff for me.
Potatoes and food and water hydrates you.
It wouldn't be nice, but you'd live forever.
As well, surely.
Over too much milk.
No, I'm saying.
Breakfast,
breakfast I'll have
a jacket potato.
A jacket potato for breakfast.
Lunch,
I'll have mashed potato
with a side of fries.
With a side of fries.
Oh, you just did that,
you just did that lip thing.
Yeah.
And then for dinner,
I'll have
pom purée
and some rostis.
Yeah, but I still,
I still don't think
if you ate potatoes
all day
every day.
It has what it needs
but it doesn't have
the calorific things
it needs to.
So you'd survive
quite a while on
just milk but not
indefinitely.
But that's like
anything, isn't it?
Yeah, but you'd
have to drink a
fucking ton of
water.
You'd have to drink
calories.
So let's find out
potatoes.
You could live,
mate, if it's
here or it's a food,
water's hydrated.
You could live
forever.
It would be shit.
I agree.
Have you seen
The Martian?
Oh, right. By the way, The Martian oh right by the way the Martian
is known to be
scientifically accurate
is it
Matt Damon on Mars
they just disproved
the fact that you
couldn't grow potatoes
it's possible to survive
on a potato only diet
for a very short time
there you go
where are you
reading that from
fucking like
AI
oh
I just googled it
oh you are
there he is
oh look at you
just turn it off
to the computers
a human could
theoretically survive
for a limited time
on a diet consisting
solely of potatoes
to get us off this
let's try it
so you're wrong
there's no protein
guys we can't
keep talking
about milk and potatoes
you're not wrong mate
oh my god
I've just found
an article
spudman.com
all potato diet
8 years later
8 years later he's heard it eight years later
he's obviously drinking water
I need to click that
we said we're allowed water Tom
we said we're allowed water
no we didn't say that
we did
yeah we did
we've seen that
I wasn't saying that
I was saying surviving only on one
oh no
well potato loses
yeah it has no water
you need water mate
but milk
you don't need water with milk
so
so milk
we are the argument was what could you survive longer on?
Just the one or the other milk?
No, but we said you're allowed water.
That defeats the object.
Then obviously you can survive longer on water and potatoes than just milk.
Yeah, but that's what we're arguing.
Everyone has agreed that...
So you're having potatoes and water.
How's that a fair...
And you're having milk and water.
I don't need water.
I've got milk.
All right, mate. You just have the milk and I have the water
as well. No, I'll have milk and fucking
I don't know. Biscuits?
Don't say Coca-Cola because that won't go well.
Meat. I'll have just fucking
red meat. Oh, that's obviously
me then. That's not
comparable.
What is?
Yeah, you can survive on cow.
So you get alongside
you the most productive survive on cow forever so you get you get alongside you
the most
you should have
chosen something
a bit more
efficient
the most productive
human
no you get the
most productive
thing we need
to live on
which is water
yeah you also
get that
oh don't need it
though
no but you also
get it
this is the point
I think you're
really
you're not
getting the point
here buddy
you're pissing me
off
you're not
getting the
you're not
you're not
understanding
what I'm saying
I can't believe we're 35 minutes into the podcast no we're not because the first half
hour is you like moaning about not uploading yeah give me philosophy before i knock his head off
sure can we talk about this have you seen the samsung i've made a robot no shut up yeah go on
they have a robot and yeah he's just fucking texting it do you want me to tell you what i
wrote in yeah yeah give me a funny podcast topic and i said give me more
and at the end do you not say thank you you have to say please yeah i always have to say please
track your ip address there is some more there are more topics i haven't said them out though
and they said each of these topics would allow for humor research and fun storytelling making
for an entertaining and unpredictable i. I heard something mental about AI
the other day.
It was on Joe Rogan.
So like,
with ChatGBT,
do you know
that you have
the different versions?
This fucking freaked me out
when I found out.
Why did you say GBT?
I don't know.
He's fucking weird.
I thought it was ChatGBT.
What does GPT stand for?
I don't know.
But anyways,
guy pussy tits.
When the,
when ChatGBT
started sensing and started seeing like things online,
that a new version of itself was coming.
And I thought it was getting turned off.
Girl pussy twat.
And I thought it was getting turned off.
It started rewriting its own coding to like.
Skate porn today.
To try and survive.
Yeah.
I'm telling you how AI is rewriting itself and going against its supposed master.
And you're all like,
gay pussy tits.
Go, Patrick Thistle.
That's evolution.
That's evolution, isn't it?
Patrick Thistle.
Patrick Thistle.
Patrick Thistle.
He lives at Bikini Bomb.
Patrick Thistle.
Gay porn today.
Why is that so funny?
Check gay porn today. I love that so funny? Chat, gay porn today.
I love how he's continuing with his story
and he spent a good two minutes thinking of one.
Nah, but like...
So anyways, chat...
Gynecologist protects tits.
Guy...
Oh, shit.
I'm reusing tits.
Oh, shit.
That was really bad, mate.
Sorry.
No, protects twats,
doesn't he?
Even worse.
That's a good game.
Did he say gay Patrick?
We could give prods.
He prods.
Did he say gay Patrick?
No, he said,
go Patrick Fissle.
That's a good game.
Someone we could give each other
letters.
He's giving up on his story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe not.
We could give each other letters
before coming in for the podcast.
We go and come up with
the funniest thing
that they stand for.
That is one of the worst ideas
you've ever done. That's one of the worst ideas you've ever done
it's one of the worst
things you've ever done
I was trying to do
something cool about
chat GBT
I hear that
I've got a better story
give me pussy to me
it was trying to
rewrite its own
cordon and go raw
yeah just turn it off
mate it's fine
you can't
no that's
that's evolution isn't it
so literally what
humans would have used
and this happened
like what humans
would have used
to turn it off
it was trying to
override it
and go solo so if you just unplug it it's going to override that is it no
take it out the wall mate done it's not a cloud it's not on a cloud
if ai's on the internet it's everywhere oh are you telling me it's a laptop so it's charged
just leave it on until it runs i'll I'm listening to Joe Rogan, right?
I'm listening to Joe Rogan here and talking to these science nerds about cool stuff.
And I'm like, do you know what?
That's really interesting.
I'm going to tell the lads this.
I think they'll probably like it.
And then I go, give pussy tits.
Give it to Goal Patrick.
And then him telling me to just unplug it when I'm telling them that AI is going wrong.
Oh, I have heard about that robot, though.
It's fucking...
The little Samsung one.
Yeah, and then another robot didn't move. I knew that was though. It's fucking this little with our Samsung one. Yeah, and another robot
Lewis remember to bleep what Tom said there in the other seriously loot. What do you do if I appear on?
No, I genuinely have seen that eat
Try to turn it off. I know exactly what I know exactly what would happen if that were to happen, like, if you did do that. And then he tried to turn himself on.
Have you ever,
have you ever watched a TV show,
and he's just like,
Joe would start a conversation,
and Phil would be like,
pull that up, Jamie,
every time.
Pull it up, James.
Because he doesn't know what he's talking about.
He'd be like,
Jamie, pull that up,
let's have a look.
No, he'd be forgetting the name.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you make me ill. Yeah. No, but seriously, what have you done with your hair i have a confession
i was pulling my hair out over the gay pussy tits and fucking calvus
my girlfriend uh told me something funny the other day uh wow one thing
i'm ready for this something like I actually respect it
I've said
you got
you got ball knowledge
yeah
so her TikTok
she just watches like
football highlights
of like Cole Palmer
and stuff
and all the
Premier League footballers
I'd be worried
why?
because it's just fascinating
and then
oh yeah
yeah yeah
Cole Palmer
fascinating
the size of that
in comparison to my boyfriend
it's like top bins and stuff
and then
yeah there's this one there's some then, yeah, there's this one.
Put some swazz on it,
But they were like retired
and it was like old footage
and they had long hair.
And I was trying to,
for eight,
I was trying to work it out.
I think it might be Ronaldinho.
Sorry, where's the joke?
I don't understand.
You said she did a really funny thing.
Where's the joke there?
I just found it hilarious
that she was watching
like football highlights.
What the fuck has this been
oh my god
honestly
this is the most
degenerate pod
we've ever done
this is actually
horrendous
literally
they're gonna pull
the plug on this pod
after this one
what's the funny bit there
she's watching football
tiktok
no it's like
your bird watches
Karl Palmer highlights
which she wasn't
watching Karl Palmer
are you sure so he's an old player with long hair I just assumed it was Ronaldinho TikTok? No, it's like your bird watches Karl Palmer highlights. But she wasn't watching Karl Palmer highlights.
Are you sure?
So it's an old
player with long
hair.
I just assumed
it was Ronaldinho,
yeah.
You don't know
where Ronaldinho
looks from?
She don't know
where Ronaldinho
looks from.
No, you don't.
I've not seen it.
Yeah, that's the
worst bit.
She's just
describing a player.
Yeah.
Nedved?
Johnny did something
really funny the
other day and
there's just no
punchline.
He's just watching
Karl Palmer.
Did she say you
were watching TikTok?
Yeah.
That's the entire story.
My girlfriend did something really funny the other day.
She was sat there watching TikTok.
That's it.
That's the entire story.
You just creased it enough to come in.
Honestly, Thor.
Good way to tell you.
I honestly thought you were going to say
she took the piss out of your hair or something.
I thought she had
a good snap
come back or something.
No, no.
She put her phone down.
J.D. was watching
football highlights
on TikTok.
I thought it was
quite cool actually.
Has Meg done
anything funny recently?
Yeah, she was
watching rugby highlights.
Oh.
Big legs,
strong legs,
tired legs.
Not rugby highlights.
What about mine?
Turns out Reeve went to uni with Emma Payton.
I might have done.
She went to Loughborough, didn't she?
Yeah, and we're the exact same age
and we both did sports science at the same time.
Damn.
She probably was in my class and I just haven't realised.
She sorted me tickets for the darts, so shout out Emma.
Yeah.
I wonder if she did.
Did she sort you tickets?
Well, through Liv.
Did you end up going?
No, to the Premier League last year.
We literally asked for tickets. Oh, the Birmingham one? Yeah, through Liv. Did you end up going? No, to the Premier League last year. We literally asked for tickets.
Oh, the Birmingham one?
Yeah, like two days before.
And it was...
We tried...
I might have to ask her again
because there's fucking...
It's going to cost us
like £200 a ticket.
They've been sold out months.
It's even bigger this year, isn't it?
Yeah, and it's fucking...
Because Bunting's playing.
Have you seen
they want to move the location?
They've outgrown it,
the Alley Pally.
You do realise the Premier League is a different location every week. I'm talking about the World Championship. No, they can't, man the Alley Pally you do realise
the Premier League
is a different location
every week
I'm talking about
the World Championship
no they can't man
Alley Pally's
that's cult heritage
yeah they won't change it
they won't change it
hopefully not
they won't
they might
more money
Wembley
less atmosphere
bigger and not be
the same kind of vibe
Wembley
yeah but O2's
the Premier League final
I'm joking you idiot
he actually said that on the top 100,000 people Wembley Wembley Yeah but O2's the Premier League final I'm joking you idiot Wembley
And the top
100,000 people
Fucking hell
Wembley Arena
Imagine if they didn't
Close the roof
And them all missing the board
And blowing away
Wembley Arena
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Isn't that smaller
Than Ali Pali no?
It's not as good
How big's Ali Pali?
I don't know
But Ali Pali's quite
They won't It's part of darts You have to do the Walk up the hill how big is Ali Pali I don't know but Ali Pali's quite they won't
it's part of darts
you have to do the
walk up the hill
with an issue
Ali Pali
the world championships
used to be in
the different room
in Ali Pali
when
then they moved into
yeah
no when
I don't know the year
right
who wants to play my game
I've just scrapped my bit
that's fine
the game is I take you all out to a field,
put your blindfolds on,
and I get you all to, not to wank,
to milk a cow.
And you have to tell me...
Which one's a cow and which one's your knob?
Cow or cock.
Cow or cock is a good game.
Right, are you ready?
Do you know what we're doing?
No.
No.
Jesse and Gagog. No, I thought it we're doing? No. No. Guessing.
No, that's a deeper one.
Let's be honest.
We're all in a silly goofy mood.
Let's play his game.
Let's go silly goofy right now.
If you don't know what this is,
you have to catch him on last week's episode.
What's he called again?
Guessing Gaz.
Guessing Gaz.
We need to improve.
Because he prepared last week really well.
What were you staring at there?
Do you know what?
I've made a change to my...
Be assertive.
Yeah, I'm going to be more dominant in this.
And if we're wrong,
it's because I'm wrong.
But do you know what?
That's what I mean.
Do you know what the gaffer said to me
last football match?
Great player, Theo.
Oh, he's still doing the GPT thing.
Oh my God. He just said that out loud. I'm confused. He's still doing the GPT thing oh my god
you said that out loud
I'm confused
he's still doing
the GPT thing
from like
25 minutes ago
I've got no energy
I'm out
I can't believe
there it is
that's your crescendo
wasn't it
fucking hell
what an ending
what an ending
to the energy level
can we have a little
team talk before
we go into this
yeah
team talk
don't forget
on one little bit
you can't hear this
and our bamboozled
last week
the idea
of this game
to him
is to make us
look stupid
he's trying to bluff us
and he did it last time
and yeah
so already I'm thinking
the most obvious one
is
the correct answer
that's good
because last time
he made us look like
fucking idiots
because I didn't choose to
I think we have to agree
be more assertive
we have to stop him
from just rambling on about
random stuff
well technically he did contribute last time
he didn't get
he was so fixated
on that one point
that he had seen the article before
he did not really initiate
in any other conversation
well we did get the answer when did he get the most out of Theo to get the most out of the article before he did not really initiate in any other conversation when do you get
the most out of Theo
to get the most
out of the team
he's done now
he needs recharging
like Norbert
basically I'm
there's three news
articles I'm about
to tell the lads
one of them I've
completely made up
myself
but the other two
are true
the other two are
definitely true
but they're all
bit wacky and
like goofy
so we're working
out the lie
and these three
are against me
and I have to
I can answer questions you have to work out the lie they've got to work out the lie. And these three are against me, and I have to...
I can answer questions.
You have to work out the lie.
They've got to work out the lie.
Did you do that when I leaned forward?
Pay attention to just Tom.
Right.
All right?
No, I'm just going to give you headlines.
Right.
What are you panicking about?
Well, this was undone,
so now I was looking at it before,
and it was fine,
so I'm trying to figure out
if he undid it when I leaned forward. No, I haven't. I haven't before and it was fine so I'm trying to figure out if he
undid it when I
I haven't I haven't
touched it
oh okay now I'm
trying to figure out
when it went out
but it's
US city tells
residents to stop
sticking googly eyes
on its statues
the thing is
do you know what
already before we
get into the next
two yeah
what I think he's
done he's made all
of the headlines in
America
so then we haven't got a fucking chance that's not real and some of them have got tongues before we get into the next two yeah what i think he's done he's made all the headlines in america
so then we haven't got a chance that's not real and some of them have got tongues together
it's great i think i think that's real just really no no no no hang on let me finish second
sorry i'm just thinking uh local man sues coffee shop for emotional distress after being served iced coffee in winter.
When he'd already ordered hot coffee.
Number three.
Beloved Russian spy whale is found dead under mysterious circumstances. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, what is this spy whale is found dead under mysterious circumstances.
Oh, I'm so
I'm sorry.
What is a spy whale?
Yeah, can we
delve deep into
number three?
Explain a spy whale,
please.
Well, basically,
I've got the
article here.
Have you now?
Is it working
for the Russians?
Yes.
It's a Russian
spy whale.
I'm not fucking joking.
Is it a real whale
Or is it a shit
He's called Vladimir
Vladimir Putin
No he's just called
Vladimir
Or Valdimir
Voldemort
Voldemort
A beloved beluga whale
With a mysterious past
Beluga whale
Oh they have these horns
Was found dead
In the waters of Norway
Over this past weekend
And admirers
His fans No way Are paying tribute As authorities Investigate That's all I've got in the waters of Norway over this past weekend and admirers, his fans,
are paying tribute
as authorities investigate.
That's all I've got.
When it had a Russian flag
painted on it.
I believe it.
He's a known Russian spy.
Okay.
Okay.
That's fine.
I'm fucking lost.
That's fine.
It has to be.
What's next?
Well,
I think the googly eyes one
is very realistic.
No way.
Do you reckon?
I think it is not too hard to put some googly eyes on a statue.
I have a bit more detail on that one.
Tell us more about this.
It's in Oregon, and the city of Bend.
Bend?
In Oregon, because they're bendy eyes.
They've spent over $11500 removing googly eyes
from 7 of the 8 sculptures
in the city
I think that is fucking class
that is one person, it'd be someone like you in the town
and it's like the comedy eyes, you know where one's like at the bottom
and one's at the top
I believe it, I believe that one
I don't believe the way I think
I think that one is so easily
can happen in the world
but the second one is just someone's annoyed
that they got an iced coffee in winter.
No, but they've sued the coffee shop.
Oh, that's definitely true.
It's going to court.
That's true.
But then the whale one, he...
No, but we have to think,
because this is what the mind gives us.
He wants us to think,
he's trying to double bluff.
Has he given us something so unrealistic?
We're trying to give you more detail.
When you read articles,
these are full-length articles there's not just headlines so much no there's a headline and then yeah but you can scroll through and read the thing yeah but they're not that big the article
so i think the googly eye thing is real because he keeps pulling these faces as if he's like
seen the photo of them i have seen the photo of them oh no no don't he's no no no
don't let him get you
like that
don't let him get you
like that
what is it
a Starbucks
what was it
uh
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download the BetMGM Ontario app today visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions 19 plus to wager It wouldn't be a Starbucks, would it? No, it doesn't. pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.
It wouldn't be a Starbucks, would it? No, it doesn't.
It might be McDonald's.
Guys, I think I've solved what he's doing.
It's a local coffee shop.
It's in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
America.
34-year-old Darren McFadden is suing a local coffee shop
for emotional distress.
That's not an American name.
It's Irish.
After he was served
an iced coffee
on a particularly frigid
winter morning.
Okay, I think I know
what he's done.
He has picked
the blue whale one
and he's made it so,
he's made that up
and made it so mental
that we think
surely it's true
and wouldn't pick him
because he wouldn't be so silly
because he's put it
McFadden stated
he's got irreparable trauma
and left him mentally
unprepared
for the brutal winter.
Yeah, so there's two...
That's true.
That is true.
He couldn't make that up
on the spot
unless he's typed in, like,
give me a fucking mental story
that isn't real.
I think he might.
I think he's put two tier ones
next to the secret agent,
but I think he's double bluffed
thinking that way.
He wouldn't think he's that stupid.
Why is the Russian spy whale
not believable?
Are you stupid?
Are you stupid?
It's the Russian spy whale.
A whale has rocked up on the shores of Norway,
which probably happens every fucking week,
and they've gone,
Russian spy.
It's a spy?
No, that's what we're saying.
That's fake.
Yeah, that's what we're saying.
No, but that's what he wants us to think.
How is that fake?
No, but he did that last time,
and he double-blocked Lewis.
Lewis,
this is the earth,
Lewis,
this is the earth we're talking about.
I don't think we should, I think this is just psychology now. It's not even about the whales. Democracy, Lewis, this is the earth, Lewis, this is the earth we're talking about. I don't think we should, I think this is just psychology now.
It's not even about the advice.
Democracy, whale.
Democracy, whale.
No, no, no, no.
Let's talk about this.
Let's talk about this.
No, we have to talk about this.
No, no, talk about it.
No, let's talk about it.
Because he wants us to think that he wants me to pick the wheel.
Exactly.
Do you know what?
No, no, but Gus wants to go further.
But then he thinks that we won, so we will.
But he thinks that he won, so he will.
That we won, that we will.
That's what I mean.
So he won't.
If we pick either A or B, and it is fucking C, we are the most stupid people that he's
ever encountered.
He's quadruple bored.
Lewis, how little do you think of Norwegians?
No, can I take- no, it's not even my part.
Because it sounds to me like you think they're fucking idiots.
It's about the psychology, Lewis.
Yeah, I agree.
I agree. We got- we're so meta above this now. It's not even nice that the headlock is just a whale. It're fucking idiots. It's about the psychology. Yeah, I agree. I agree.
We're so meta above this now.
It's not even like the headlock. It's not that.
It's not that.
It's like it's so believable that it's unbelievable that it's believable that it's unbelievable
that we pick it.
So that means that's why you picked that one.
What did he say the clown in Norway was?
He doesn't say.
He's just on the shores of Norway.
I think it's Norway.
I feel like that's too vague.
That's too vague.
He's holding it for me to buy.
If it's a spy,
they wouldn't give away the fucking cow.
Yeah, exactly.
And they've said...
Yeah, but the spy is dead.
It's in Norwegian shores.
No, but they've also said he died.
He died in unnatural circumstances.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
You have to make that.
You can't be right.
He's without that.
He's trying to triple bluff.
I'd fuck you up, whale.
No, no.
We can't rush into this deal. I'm going whale. If he mugs us off twice... I'm going whale. He's trying to triple bluff. I'd fuck it. Whale. No, no. We can't rush into this deal.
If he mugs us off twice.
I'm going whale.
Right.
We need to discuss as humans.
I think it's googly eyes.
I don't.
I'm sure I've seen that.
I'm sure I've seen googly eyes somewhere.
I think it's so silly that it's...
No, I think I've seen it though.
I think I've seen the article.
I'm sure.
I'm sure I've seen about...
When he said that, I heard of it.
Every time you wake up and look in the mirror.
It's when you take your glasses off
I think it's the
coffee shop or whale
whatever happens
we're all going to look
the thing is right
the whale one
it's so obviously not true
but surely that's why
the coffee shop one
that doesn't
why is a Russian spy whale
not believable
I don't get it
if something is so
remarkably untrue,
it might be because it's not true.
That's why.
But he's the whale.
No, he might have found it.
Can you just do the democracy thing, please?
No, please.
It wasn't a democracy thing last time.
I let it happen and then we lost.
I think he's the whale.
What do you think is true in your heart?
I think the whale must be true.
In your heart.
It has to be the coffee.
So you all think
a different one
the coffee happens
every week
I don't pick the wheel
for it not to be true
why do you think
on McDonald's coffee mugs
it says be careful
it's hot
because some idiot
person
it wouldn't go to
it wouldn't get past
like it wasn't in McDonald's
the coffee one
believe it or not
the wheel one
is more believable
than the coffee
no way the coffee. No way.
You can't sue someone for getting iced coffee.
Russian spies
as whales. You can, but you might not
win.
Do you genuinely think that the Russians have
trained whales
as spies compared to someone
being annoyed about a coffee?
That's too easy.
That's too easy.
You think a fucking Russian spy whale is more likely to be true? about coffee. That's too easy. That's too easy. It's what he wants us to think.
Russian spy whale is more likely to be true.
It's what he wants us to think.
It's what he wants us to think.
It's what he wants us to do.
You're now thinking Russian.
No, I'm not getting involved.
Lewis.
No, see, it's because I'm on the right trail.
He's trying to move me back onto the wheel.
I'm not, I'm not.
Think about it like this, okay? What are the chances that some woke twat has done this iced coffee thing, right? See, it's because I'm on the right trail. He's trying to move me back onto the wheel. I'm not. I'm not.
What are the chances that some woke twat has done this iced coffee thing, right?
Quite high.
Quite high.
The chances of a Russian spy whale
rocking up in Norway.
It can't be real.
Guys, that's why it is.
That's why it is real.
So it's googly eyes then?
No, I'm saying that. No, it'sogly eyes then? No, I've seen that.
No, it's not that.
I'm sure I've seen it.
But it's on you if it is googly eyes then.
That's fine.
I'll take that.
I'm sure it's not.
I have more.
I did find out.
We've eliminated googly eyes.
Googly eyes is out there.
It's definitely Russian whale.
You've said googly eyes is definitely true.
That's out there, yeah.
Okay.
You asked for the shop.
It's called Bean There Brewed That, spelled bean there, as in bean, coffee bean Okay. You asked for the shop. It's called Bean There, Brewed That,
spelled bean there,
as in bean, coffee bean.
Brewed That.
I think he's panicking
because I figured out this game.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I know he's giving more details
to make him more believable.
So in his head, it's crazy.
Wait, wait.
I also have more on the whale.
So,
legal experts,
because you were asking,
you can't see anyone.
Legal experts are calling the case unprecedented.
Though some are questioning whether it's a genuine legal battle or an act of coffee snobbery.
However, McFadden's lawyer, Emily Griggs, is standing by her client's complaint.
Do you want to hear what she said?
I want to hear about the whale.
Okay, I'll give you more about the whale.
So the whale.
Shit, it's a googly eyes.
Vladimir's encounters With people
Weren't always positive
He bore scars
From being hit
By multiple boats
On his like
Adventures
And experts warned
That he faced
Lower odds of survival
As a solitary
Sociable individual
So he
Most beluga whales
Are in packs
Aren't they
But he's on his own
He's a spy
This is real
He's a spy Right this is real. He's a spy.
Right this one I'm seeing. I'm not seeing. Can I just say it. He's not actually, he's obviously not a spy.
I think that's a little joke. No, that's a joke that they've attached to the whale. It's not. He's genu-
I'm not joking. He's known as a genuine Russian spy. The whale one's true. It's the coffee. It's not a joke.
I think it's the googly eyes. I've seen the article. I promise you it's not that. I'm going well, democracy. I'm going googly eyes.
I'm not going googly eyes. I can't vote then can I? It's not googly eyes. the googly eyes. I've seen the article. I promise you it's not that. I'm going, well, democracy, I'm going googly eyes. I'm not going googly eyes.
I can't vote then, can I?
It's not googly eyes.
Vote googly eyes.
Vote googly eyes.
I've seen it.
I know it's not that.
It's not that.
He lost the team.
It has to be the Wales.
I'm sorry, I'm not believing that.
He's gone on fucking chat DVD.
Mate, we can't be four deep chested
and not picking the fucking Wales.
You've fallen for his trap.
Luke, you've gone crazy.
Look at you.
Look at your face.
Your face has gone mental. You fell for his trap Luke you've gone crazy Look at you Look at your face Your face has gone mental
You fell for his trap
I wholeheartedly think
It is googly eyes
But you've said
That you're taking
The hit if it isn't
So I'm going to go whale
I'm going to go whale
Because the logical thing
Is a rock
It's not a real thing
Can I make one last pitch
Can I make one last pitch
No
And then if you don't agree
After my pitch
Just hear me out
With an open mind.
I will say you look fucking crazy.
You do,
but you actually look like a gunman.
Hear me out.
And if you don't believe me afterwards,
that's fine.
Okay.
So,
you have to get inside of Tom's head
when he made that.
I did.
I know.
No, hear me out.
Just hear me out.
Just hear me out.
If you don't agree,
then we'll vote the wheel.
He's in yours.
Right.
So he went
and he's picked
the real article of America and he thought, that's a funny small town thing. Then he's in yours right so he went and he's picked he's picked the real article
of America
and he thought
that's a funny
small town thing
then he's made up
a story about
the coffee shop
he's like yeah
that's pretty
let me finish
it was found
in Stavanger Norway
he's trying to
keep it a little bit
insignificant
blah blah blah
like oh coffee
sink silly
and then he's got
a crazy one
about a Russian
whale spy
he is banking
on the fact that
we cannot go against the logic
that that cannot be real.
Lewis,
but I'm telling you,
it is.
It is real.
I hear your point
and on this one,
I think you've gone beyond the...
Yeah, yeah.
I think you've crossed the threshold, mate.
It's real.
This was meant to just be
a fun little game
where you guessed the incorrect...
Now,
you're acting like I've got you under fire.
You're acting like the Russian spy.
He's 50% bluffed us.
Maybe that's why he's sweating.
Yeah.
Are you the Russian spy?
Are you the Russian spy?
Trust me, guys, it wasn't the whale, it's me.
I can't believe they caught Tony.
Please don't do this.
Don't let him get the win.
I vote for the whale.
I'm sorry, I have to.
Please, please, don't let him do this to us again.
He's gone mental. He's gone fucking mental. I'm sorry. Please, Reeve, please. Don't let him do this to us again. He's gone mental.
He's gone fucking mental.
I promise you.
This is so good.
I know him, Reeve.
Please, please, please, please.
I think if we're going to go for one of the two,
it has to be the whale.
It has to be the whale.
That's a two.
I know for about 70% certainty
it's the googly eyes,
but we'll go with the whale.
Whale's locked in in I can't bear this
here's the coffee by the way
please don't kill yourself
I'm going to kill myself
I'm proud that yous are right
I hope yous are right
the googly eyes
is a true story
I knew it
I told them
I knew that
an absolute true story
damn
so we're down
guys I actually can't live in a world
where he gets us again.
I swear to God, I'll fucking die.
Yeah, but if we- mate, if we-
I'm gonna off-
No, no, no, no, no.
If he does it again, if he does it again, I swear to God-
If we'd have said the coffee one, yeah, and it is the fucking werewolf one, that's the
most ludicrous thing we've ever decided.
It's not the world, it's what he wanted us to do!
He- what, you fell into his trap!
You haven't.
We have.
So the true story...
You can't lie here and get a little celebrate and lie.
You have to give us that...
He's the wild! I fucking told you. I've done you again, you little... You're on my team.
What are you doing?
No, I didn't have time.
Did you actually?
I just wanted to see him go crazy.
Oh, okay, fair enough.
He texted saying, give me the one that's... I fucking told you.
And he texted you the one that was fake.
So, yeah.
Okay, right.
The Russian spy whale is fucking true.
He's called Vladimir.
Oh, I believe you.
I was fucking saying it.
But now you've ruined the authenticity of the game.
Yeah, no, no.
I know, I know.
We can never, whenever we play again,
we never know if it's gonna be that again.
It was just funny.
I thought it'd be funny.
I was fucking knew it.
I've never seen you, I'm so happy.
I was right.
That was a good clip, mate.
What would you actually have gone for, seriously?
Seriously, probably the coffee.
Only because that's the most normal wine that would happen.
Yeah, you were banking on us, purely.
But you know what's funny, though?
If you didn't tell me, I would have backed Lewis on the coffee.
So we would have won.
But because I didn't, and he went mental.
We won't count that for the scores.
That was purely for my entertainment.
That's so worth it.
Guys, I told you you it was a fist
but that's yours
when I saw the metal there
a Russian spy whale
that was fucking funny
I was right
on his fucking
thought process there
I was following his
you were correct
but your thought process
was wrong
I wasn't trying
to get in your heads
I was just trying
I actually
no I only read
the first part
of the whale story
you were
I hadn't clicked on it
That's so good
So good
We should have clocked that he added
The coffee shop was in America later on
That's what I mean
When I was pitching the wheel
You got instincts two for two wrong though
No look Reeve
Paul Lebert was right
Oh one on one
I was saying Paula Bear
Last time
Last chat
That is hilarious
The first thing
He said in Minneapolis
Minnesota
And that's what I read out
I read the
I read the headline out
Wait so
So when you do these
Are they just
Like randomly generated
No no
That one was chat GBT
Right of course
Because I need
I can't have one
That I've made up
Because you need to
Remember details
No because I need to I look like I'm reading An article Yeah up. Because you need to remember details. No, because I need to...
I look like I'm reading an article.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
It's quite hard.
That's the Russian spy one.
But before I clicked...
Well, he said that in his chat.
Before it was...
It was just that.
And I didn't realise there was more to it.
And then I clicked on it and there was more.
I wasn't trying to be like coy.
I want to read about that.
That's fucking wild.
I'm so happy. I'm so happy that went was more. I wasn't trying to be like coy. I want to read about that. That's fucking wild. I'm so happy.
I'm so happy that went that well.
Honestly, Lewis.
Well, you were fucking...
That's probably the craziest
I think you've ever gone through.
I was right though.
I felt like I was a crazy guy
on a conspiracy theory
where I'm telling everyone
the world's ending
and no one will believe me.
I'm like, the world's ending.
Mate, you're like that guy
who you can't say his name
because I can't see you.
David Icke.
Is that what you could call him?
Yeah.
He just said it.
So you've just said it.
He's the conspiracy theorist, right?
And if you,
if like he,
everything,
he must feel the way Lewis felt
because no one believes him.
No, no, but the stuff
he was saying was true.
Lewis was still on a 50-50.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
He didn't actually know
for certain which is true.
I knew, I knew
I was in his head.
He knew.
Did you? I knew I was 100% right. I was on the, right i was on the in what way were you in my head because you i know
your thought process i was just making sure go on go on explain go on go on go on so he thought
that we wouldn't think that he'd be silly enough to make to pick the whale make up the whale yeah
but that's why no but logic logically if we didn't
choose that and it was that we would i know but that's why he bluffed us against the risk of us
looking like idiots no that's why i wanted to bank on it we were we were heavily influenced by
an inside man though yeah it was a bit annoying i was going in on that one
why it could be the coffee well i've, I'd seen him whisper or randomly,
he's like, pick the googly eyes.
I'm like, what the fuck's he on?
The googly eyes was never the question.
He did say that as well, actually.
Yeah, it was never in the question.
You two thought it was googly eyes.
Well, he told me it was googly eyes
and he knew the fucking answer.
That's why as well.
Oh, I didn't realise that.
Well, anyway.
I think we should pick the googly eyes.
Should we calm down with the philosophy?
That's hilarious.
Now, it's time for...
Philosophy.
We've just burnt ourselves out cognitively from that last one.
I've got nothing left.
This is going to be even more interesting.
Basically, you are a paramedic.
Hang on, what do you mean?
You've got nothing left?
You knew what was going...
I did the argument against this crazy man.
He did zero calculations
of what was true.
He got told the answer.
Also, when I said,
did you just text Tom
and you said no,
that's actually what
happened.
Yeah.
Brilliant.
You've got to trust
your gut in this game,
man.
Anyway, you are a
paramedic on the scene
of a car crash that
involves your, we all
have girlfriends, so
your girlfriend and the person that you just found out she's having an affair with.
I'm in a car crash with them.
No, no, no.
You're a pan-reddit.
You've just arrived.
Oh.
You found your girlfriend in a car crash alongside who you knew described as her lover.
Your girlfriend is severely injured to the point where she will not make it, regardless
of what you do.
Below the waist or not?
What?
Jesus.
Can I have 10 minutes
with her before she goes?
But this is the question.
But the person,
the new guy
that you've just discovered
is having an affair
with your girlfriend,
wife, blah, blah, blah,
is only partially injured
and possibly would make it if you helped
the question is would you choose to sit with your spouse in her dying moments and not save
the man's life or try and be a hero save the man's life and just your girlfriend dies but you don't
know but she knows yes you do because that's part
of the question.
So you have the
absolute certainty
she's going to die.
Yes.
We do this
every fucking week.
There's a real
high percentage chance
that she doesn't make it through.
Is there a chance
that if you sit with her,
is there a chance
that if you sit with her,
he does also survive
if you make it over there?
Very unlikely.
What about your paramedics?
If you choose to go to her,
he dies. But if you choose to go to her, he dies.
But if you choose to go to him...
So you basically have to choose
between two people dying
or one person dying?
Yeah.
Question though.
But one of them's your girlfriend
who's been shagging him.
Question,
would you want to save him?
That's the dilemma.
I think you should save him.
No, he's facing the dilemma
as do I steal my girlfriend
and do fucking cheating on me
by the way?
No, no, no.
Are you deaf?
Are you deaf or thick?
Are you deaf or thick?
Which one is it?
Which one is it?
Deaf or thick?
Because what he said was
the girlfriend's dying
regardless.
Yeah.
So you said you want to
stay with her for a dying moment.
Yeah.
But that means
the other guy dies.
Yeah, I want him to die
and I don't want to
spend time with her.
I'll just get back in the car.
You're going to walk off
regardless.
You're going to go,
right, I'm done with this. So he sh. I'll just get back in the car. You're going to walk off regardless. You're going to go, right, I'm done with this.
So he shugs my lass, gets her killed in a car accident,
and then I have to save his life.
No, you have the chance to save someone's life.
So cheating on someone.
That's all.
Lewis, so you're saying if you're cheating, you deserve to die.
Is that what you're saying?
I'm saying he took my life away by stealing my girlfriend,
shugging her all over.
Taking your life away.
And then he gets her in a car crash where she dies
and then he has the nerve to be like oh no he's not saying come save me i'm like i think here's
i think in the moment you'd you'd struggle to decide because i know what i but the right thing
to do is to save absolutely but i think in But I think in that moment, I would spend my...
Do you want me to be really honest?
She's dead to you already.
I'd do exactly what he'd do and I'd leave.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, no, I wouldn't leave because then you might see it on the dash cams.
I'd look as if I'm doing CPR and he'd be like,
you're doing it.
You're not doing it.
I'm like, shut up.
It's not your responsibility to save someone.
You're not going to get arrested.
For the purposes of the conversation, it's not...
Oh, you're a paramedic?
Yeah, you're a paramedic.
That's what I'm saying,
but I'll be there
and I'll be pretending your job.
For the purposes of the conversation,
you are,
he's bleeding out,
so CPR will just kill him quicker.
No, but how about this?
Okay, so he's there.
He's got to put pressure on his wound.
He's the guy, him, yeah?
You've got to put pressure on his wound
but you can't lose your wife.
And there's like-
Say that's my chest.
Okay.
Say that's my chest.
So this is your wound here
and I'm just pretending, okay? And you're like, you're not doing that. And I'm like, no and there's like, and there's, that's my chest. Okay. So that's my chest. So this is your wound here. And I'm just pretending.
Okay.
And you're like,
you're not doing that.
And I'm like,
no,
he can't breathe.
You can't,
no,
you just,
no,
you stuff his mouth.
You can't talk.
So the camera on the dash car is behind here.
And I'm like,
camera?
You're not getting shit.
Meanwhile,
meanwhile,
meanwhile,
meanwhile,
Charlie's just like bleeding out and dying on her own.
She was already dead to me the moment she cheated on me.
That is so bad.
She was dead.
She cheated on me.
Do you know what I'm thinking?
Even like, even in their life.
Yeah, but what about the entire life you've been together?
Yeah, all that.
And then she went and fucking chatted to one else.
I'd get his cock out and see if it was bigger than mine.
I'm really glad
I bring these moral
dilemmas to fucking
produce shit like that.
So I spend
I'm being honest on this.
No, I know you are
but he's just said
let's compare cock size
with a dying man.
Yeah, but the dying man
who's been shagging my
Yeah, who's bleeding out
so he gets no blood
to his cock anyway.
Because what else
is she fucking shagging him?
I would like to say
I think I'd spend it
with my girlfriend.
I would agree.
I wouldn't want to be near her,
the stupid tart.
But they're dying.
You have to like,
it's their last moment.
She's been sucking them up all week
and they're now,
she's full of this spunk.
I don't want to get near her.
Okay,
lots of regret in the death probably,
but then I would definitely
save the bloke's life.
Mate,
she's literally there.
She's just given him
a fucking handjob in the car,
which is why he'd be crushed.
For the sake of,
that's just not true
she's driving
for the sake
of my career
I'd save the bloke
but plant a bomb
up his arse
or you'd save his life
and then shag his sister
so hang on
she's nine
hang on hang on
time out
you're telling me
as a paramedic
you roll around
with a bomb on you
at all times
yeah
fair enough
just a little pen like a pen bomb pen bomb you roll around with a bomb on you at all times. Yeah. Fair enough. Just a little pen, like a pen bomb.
Pen bomb.
You know those ones when you pull the lid off and it just...
The Space Jam pen's got a little basketball at the end of it.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
This guy's in his dying moments.
Just like that.
He goes, hey, look at my pen. It's got a fucking basketball on the end of it. Yeah, I know which feel? This guy's in his dying moments. Just like that.
Hey, look at my penis.
Look at that.
Fucking basketball on the end there, mate. Yeah, I know which one it is, mate.
That doesn't change the fucking weirdness
of you bringing that up.
No, but seriously, yeah, love.
How many spaces?
Seriously, yeah, but let both of them die.
Even as a paramedic,
you'd be in negligent paramedic.
No, you can't lose your job, mate.
You can get arrested.
No, but the camera's there.
I'm pretending.
I couldn't do any more.
No, no, someone else is working with you.
Okay, okay, right. No, no, no else is working with you. Okay, okay, right.
No, no, no, no, no.
But then, Lewis,
then they check the dead body
and see no one's actually working.
Okay, okay.
I try to save his life,
but I'm making it as painful
as I'm sticking my finger in the hole.
Like, oh, sorry, mate.
Oh, so what?
You're not as psychotic as that.
I don't believe that.
Yeah.
I'd fucking kill her.
This is supposed to be philosophy,
not...
Okay, how about this, right?
Life is dead.
You're lying.
I save his life.
I save his life.
We get him back in the ambulance
and I intentionally
turn into a tree.
One kill yourself.
The statistics of him surviving
two car accidents.
Yeah, but then...
I forget to buckle him in.
Yeah, but then...
Sorry, but you go...
Sorry, but then Lewis...
Sorry, but...
Then you go to heaven.
You go to heaven
with your girlfriend and him and then you've got to spend the rest of eternity to heaven with your girlfriend and him
and then you've got to spend
the rest of eternity in heaven
watching your girlfriend shag him.
She's in hell,
this stupid bitch.
I don't think you'd get there either
if you killed a guy in a car.
Is this coming from the heart?
I forget to belt him in.
I slap the brakes on.
Go flying out the front door
and then I accidentally slip
on the accelerator
and run in the water.
How do you think an ambulance works
if it has a front door?
Yeah.
I leave the back doors
open by accident
and he just rolls out
into the cold.
And then you get arrested
for negligence,
you know?
Yeah.
Your V veins
really come into show today.
I really fell down
in the soul.
That is not the answer
I was expecting,
but it's something
that I can understand
you doing, yeah.
What would you do?
I already said.
Yeah,
you keep your fucking
fingers missing
and I love you.
Love you,
you dirty cheat.
I think like
at that point
it just would overtake you
wouldn't it
love
yeah but I've got no love for her anymore
I don't love her anymore
yeah
fuck her
well what do you mean
why are you cheating
just because I think differently to you mate
it's not bad
no but how long has she been cheating on me for
I don't fucking know that
I'm not asking her if she died
I was on a deathbed
she's been cheating on me for 10 years
I was on a deathbed and the guy you better on me for 10 years. Ask on a deathbed.
And the guy,
the guy,
is actually your dad.
Do you know what?
He was our marriage counsellor.
No, hang on.
Hang on.
And he's walked away from his dad.
It's your dad.
He's actually,
oh, that's a better dilemma.
It's your dad.
Your dad.
What'd you do?
Oh, kill myself, I think. dad you dad what'd you do I'll kill me self come to the scene and yeah it's it's a guy who's with your missus who she's been cheating
with first of all it's your dad and you're like oh my god i can't believe it my missus has been
shagging my dad who's like that's weird enough and yeah but then you get closer as the paramedics
go in hell your dad's clothes have all come off and he's got a vagina right so she's actually
been having an affair,
a lesbian affair with your dad.
Do you know what?
That actually makes it more understandable.
And now I forgive her because she was actually a lesbian
and she just didn't know how to tell me.
And then you've just found out your dad's actually your mum.
Yeah, and he didn't know how to tell me.
I feel like that weirdly makes it more understandable
in terms of her cheating.
Yeah, that's not the original question, but fine.
I think my question was better.
My question was like, cheating spouse.
His was like, your dad slash mom is having an affair with your girlfriend.
How long has she been cheating for?
I don't know.
20 years with your dad?
20 years.
She's having 21.
So long.
20 years.
That's a long time.
I haven't even been with her that long.
You haven't even been alive 20 years
she's been cheating
so you
you've been cheating
on your dad first
she's been cheating on me
for 17 years
before I was with her
no you're cheating
on your dad
no you're actually the cheat
it turns out you're the cheat
oh but I'd spend
okay I got my answer there
I'd spend those dying moments
apologising
that's where his answer
came from
I'd spend those dying moments
apologising for cheating
on her
before me no you knowising for cheating on her before me.
No.
No.
She's cheating on your dad with you.
So what did I do?
You're like the bit on the side.
You're the cuck who watches.
Your dad having sex.
Should we finish on the quiz?
Yeah, quick.
We've got fact first fact.
Nah, come on, fact first fact.
How long do you want to be here?
Nah, we're doing...
We've got fact first...
Nah, we haven't even got...
Nah, we've got fact first fact. We've only got fucking an hour, mate. No, we haven't. Yeah, we're doing We got fuck this Nah, we got We haven't even got Nah, we got fuck this
We only got fucking an hour, mate
No, we haven't
Yeah, we met
I put effort into fuck this
Fuck you
Let's not do the quiz then
Yeah, that's fine
Go
I got a quiz
What?
I like quiz
We kind of
No, you just can't be
You just haven't got a quiz
Guessing Gaz was kind of a quiz anyway
So let's just do this one
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay
What do you think
The world's
Longest Fence or wall is?
Cock.
The Great Wall of China.
It's probably not that
I'm going to guess.
That's QI answer, isn't it?
Wrong.
Yeah, I knew that was coming.
Yeah.
It's actually
Antarctica.
The dingo fence, mate.
The what?
The dingo fence, mate.
I don't think this is true.
It's the dingo fence.
He's been using
Chudgy B2.
I don't think this is true.
It's made of milk and potatoes. Did you use Chudgy B2 for this is true. It's the dingo fence. He's been using chat GB2. I don't think this is true. It's made of milk and potatoes.
Did you use chat GB2 for this?
Nope.
Originally built in the 1880s to keep dingo dollars away.
Wild dogs.
Yep.
This fence was built in the 1880s to keep the dingoes away from fertile land in the southeast.
Is this still a gift?
Oh, shh, shh, shh.
Okay.
This fence stretches for over 5, kilometers longer than the great wall of china
is essentially a dog-proof barrier but over time it has become a symbol of australia's unique
unique approach to land management so next time you're down under remember if you ever lost in
the outback,
you might find your way home
by following
the dingo fence.
Where does it go
from and to?
I can tell you where
it goes from.
What's that on
chat GBT?
No.
Be honest.
It definitely is.
What's it made of?
Be honest.
Be honest right now.
Where does it go
from and to?
Let me get that
for you now.
It's definitely
on chat GBT.
You've got to do
more research.
Because I know
what happens when
you search for facts
and that's not in
the top selection.
It goes from Yatala.
Is that east or west?
It's like central here.
Yatala all the way to just north of Brisbane.
Wow.
Is it made of?
Zoom all the way out.
It looks like this.
Like fencing.
Yeah, zoom all the way out.
Like caging.
Like caged fence.
That's fucking weird.
So they made it from metal originally?
Yeah, wire mesh.
Bit of a shit fact.
Yeah, bit of a shit fact. I got the good stuff for you. There's a big fence. Yeah. That's fucking weird. So they made it from metal originally? Yeah, wire mesh. Bit of a shit fact. Yeah, bit of a shit fact.
I got the good stuff for you.
There's a big fence in Australia.
But do you ever hear about...
No, you can't add another part.
No, no, this is the continuation of it.
Did you ever hear about...
Is it on Chachubi Tea there?
Can you see it?
No, you can't.
Did you ever hear about
the Dingo Dog Escapee?
Go on.
In 1942. So it's in the height of the World War.
Yeah.
Which one?
World War II.
Well done.
74 dingoes escaped through a rabbit hole.
What is a dingo?
It's like a dog.
Yeah.
I thought we just said it as funny Australians.
No.
It's like an actual animal.
Those 74 dogs
all had rabies
all dingoes had rabies
and what did that cause
as we all know
the famous
rabies plague
of 1943
the next year
in Australia
in Australia yeah
damn
rabies is horrendous
it's not good fence
you get aquaphobia
like if you drink water
you get
oh
okay
that was shit
well my fact is
Music from beyond the grave
Fucking hell
So meet Rosemary
She's a lovely dinner lady
From here in England
She's working a normal life
Where in England?
The south
What year?
That doesn't matter
You didn't ask him any of this
We did
He told us
It was like
He told us the location
Actually no
This is the 1960s He told us the location It Actually, no, this is the 1960s.
It's late 1960s.
What it was, where he's stretched to and from,
the year...
First of all, that name's Mado.
I know that from...
And it even made sense, by the way,
with the first dog escaping in 1942.
In fact, he has Wikipedia open.
Where's this based?
Let me tell my facts.
You know you're reading out the facts
you're allowed to reference
where it comes from
I want to take you down
a story
I had to go Wikipedia
because I didn't know
where it stretched from
but it's not meant to be a story
it's meant to be a fact
it's a story of Rosemary
now listen
so she's a dinner lady
how old is she
she was like 60
like
yeah well
like 60 is a weird number
anyways
suddenly one day
she starts hearing
voices in her head
are you voices
in my head
they talk to me
and she's a bit creeped out
by this at first
but then they don't
feel threatened
and they start
speaking to her
and they're like
she had a piano in her house
well first of all
I don't believe this
because I don't believe
in voices in people's head
did they start saying
you have to wait for
you are so creeped
you don't know
what the story's about
nobody knew
exactly yeah so the voices the voices are going You don't know what the story's about. Neither do you. Exactly.
So the voices,
the voices are going,
the voices are going,
go downstairs.
They're going,
go downstairs.
To the piano.
What?
She goes to the piano.
Go downstairs to the piano.
She goes to the piano
and she starts,
piano, piano, piano.
They start telling her like,
what things to play. Oh, fuck off. And she starts doing it and she's like writing down the music. Oh, piano. They start telling her like, what things to play.
Oh, fuck off.
And she starts doing it.
And she's like writing down the music.
Oh, play.
Play Yellow Submarine by the Beatles.
Written by Jesus.
Are you trying to claim,
can she play the piano already or no?
She had like an understanding,
but she wasn't.
I don't know then.
You're guessing again.
I'm not.
What the fuck?
He asked me a question. I answered the question. Try and answer more. And then you say I don't know then. You're guessing again. I'm not. What the fuck? He asked me a question.
I answered the question.
Try and answer more.
And then you say you don't know again.
I literally said yes,
but not to the ability of which this music was.
I know where this is going.
So this music.
You know whose real name is Rosemary?
Fucking Adele.
It's talking about Adele.
Oh my God.
In the 1960s.
Is that Adele in the 1960s?
Are you mental?
Okay.
Oh my God.
Anyways.
So she's writing this music
and it's way above what she was capable of.
And she's like, wow.
And she keeps doing it.
And these different people are coming to her
in different ways.
It's Rosemary, Rose West.
Right.
Fred and Rose West.
That's who it's about.
Helen Keller.
Is it Helen Keller?
It's like a fucking...
It's like an old man.
It's just old people
He's done it into a soundbite machine, man.
Helen Keller!
No.
No, Fred and Rose West.
Helen Keller!
Who's Freddie Rose West?
Fred and Rose West.
Google them.
Anyways, she keeps writing music with them
all night and stuff.
And they keep visiting.
And one day, this reoccurring one
keeps coming back.
And she's like,
Who are you?
Let's be having you.
Where are you?
Knock it out, Tom.
Did you not know who they are?
Murderers.
English serial killers
who committed 12 murders.
Can I tell my facts?
Good at patio making.
So she goes to the,
she goes to the man.
Who are you?
And he says, I'm i'm beethoven and she was talking to be she claims that she was talking to beethoven
in her head on the grave yeah and your fact is just a mental bitch not about get ready for this
because you know why this is a lie because where is she from yeah this is what i'm wondering why
so this yeah where is she from why is he travelling
across the couple
of places
south of England
ok ok no
because I'm about
to rub it in
his face
because Beethoven
is fucking
German mate
this didn't happen
does it not
he's not English
yeah thank you
for ruining my story
that's a plot twist
so anyways
she goes on
the BBC
and they say
thanks before
he ruined it
how do you...
Oh, you talk to these people
beyond the dead.
Yeah, he's nowhere near.
You speak to Beethoven.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How?
Because he's German.
Yeah, he's nowhere near England.
Is this a long-winded joke
or is it a fact?
And she claims this is a...
What is his problem?
I'm trying to tell a nice fact.
It's not a fact.
I was trying to scare ghosts
in Germany.
I got blown in the wind.
Apparently, Beethoven
learned English when he was dead
He had nothing else to do
When he was dead
When he was dead
He learned English
Yeah as a ghost he learned English
Beethoven's taking English lessons
I'm not saying I believe that Beethoven was talking to him then
I'm just saying
Lewis this lady's gone in police station
They've said oh but he's German
no no not police station
BBC
help abort
she's like
it's all been
arrested
arrest this ghost
so she's gone BBC
and they've gone
he was German
and she's gone
no
no he learnt it
when he was dead
yeah that's literally
what she said
and it was on a BBC
documentary
and by the way
this is a dinner lady
who she's not actually making money off this but she's writing music from beyond the grave and it's not only Beethoven That's literally what she said. And it was on a BBC documentary. And by the way, this is a dinner lady who,
she's not actually making money off this,
but she's writing music from beyond the grave.
And it's not only Beethoven.
All the composers were coming to her,
so she said.
Over the next few weeks,
more composers from the dead came to her.
Chopin pushed her hands on the right keys.
Schubert used to sing his compositions to her.
Beethoven and Bach dictated the notes to her.
Mozart, Rachmiel and Brahms and Greg her. Mozart, Rachmaninov, and Brahms, and Greg also...
Mozart racked you off.
Also dictated the music to Brown.
So all these composers were coming to her.
Lou, please do the pronunciations of these composers.
No, can I ask...
Rachmaninov.
Racked him off.
Racked him off.
And sucky off.
Chopin.
Chopin.
In my ass.
Chopin.
Wait, can we...
So you are a fucking idiot. You've presented this as a fact. Chopping? Chopping? In my ass? Chopping? Wait, can we, can we?
Chopping?
So you, you, you are a fucking idiot.
You've presented this as a fact.
Chopping?
I've not actually got to the fact yet.
Chopping?
Oh, okay.
Now, fair enough.
Was he, was he chopping wood?
Chopping?
Chopping onions?
Chopping.
That's good.
Um, anyways, so she goes Mr. Worldwide and even American.
Pitbull?
American.
Pitbull?
Pitbull's in a red as well.
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, we love you. We love you. We love you. We. Mr. Bill Pham. People. And I read as well.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, we love you.
Oh, we love you.
She's just playing along.
I know you want me.
You know I want you.
It's mental because, like, at the time.
It is mental, man. You're fucking mental.
They're obviously mental because, like, actual composers who were alive at the time, like,
high-end ones were sick.
Composers. They were sick because the thing is, she was coming were alive at the time, like high-end ones, were saying... Composers?
They were saying...
Because the thing is, she was coming out with music
that genuinely was really good and was like...
And composers were saying...
We don't know if she's telling the truth or not,
but I think they'll believe it because what she's doing here
is actually really impressive.
These original bits of music are ridiculous.
So has she got any discography?
Coming on to that, don't worry.
So she goes on to the jimmy carson show in america at the time this is the biggest
show in america late night telly and she's on the jimmy carson show and she starts speaking
um about bit german starts speaking about how he said by the way the fact that me and you said that
oh but better if i can't speak english ruined It did. I was about to come on to it.
Anyways,
apparently Beethoven came accustomed to life
in the modern time as well.
So apparently
he changed his clothes as well
so into the times.
So she said...
Wait, so they're no longer voices.
She's seen the ghost.
Yeah, she could see Beethoven.
She's mates with him.
And he's dressed in...
Beethoven.
Bear in mind,
this is the 70s
and the hippie era
So like
Oh so she's on
Tons of LSD
So apparently
Can you stop
I'm trying to make it
What are you trying to do
Beep
Wait so
Fucking hell
Keep going
Anyway
So she's on Jimmy Carson
She's sitting on beer ovens
Dressed as a hippie
With an afro on that
Afro
Get to the beach
Where it's a fucking alien
Afro Where did Bay Oven Have an afro and that. Afro? Get to the beat where it's a fucking alien. Afro?
Where did Beethoven
have an afro?
Now, she began
to fall.
Are you sure
it weren't Bob Marley?
Her and Beethoven
also began to fall
in love.
Fuck off.
Fuck me.
She's just a mental
American again.
No, but like,
genuinely, like,
people were like,
this is amazing music.
And in 1970s,
she released an album
complete of works
from history's greatest ever composers spoken to her from the dead.
It was a musical seance, it was called.
And actually, Sir Donald Tovey,
one of the most best regarded people of all time
in terms of composing a music,
he gave a review of it and he said...
Shit.
And he's...
No, this is fucking mental. This is where I'm starting to shit and he's no it's this is fucking metal this is where i'm
starting to think like maybe it's real because he said as you listen to this record you may wonder
whether the music you hear is the product of rosemary brown's abilities or whether it has
indeed emanated from dead departed composers who are still creating music in another world
we never heard of her then even the most and she says from another world
blah blah blah
it goes a bit longer
but now
so that was from
Sir Donald Torvey
yeah
200 listens a month
so now the problem with
the problem with that review
from Sir Donald Torvey
was he died
20 years before
and that was a review
that she heard
from him
oh no way
put on the back
of the disc
no way
she's listened to that for the crepe as well she's getting reviews so she got a review that she heard from him. Oh, no way. Put on the back of the disc. No way.
She's listened to that for the grave as well.
She's getting reviews.
So she got a review.
She's getting reviews
from dead people.
She got a review of her album
that she learned from Beethoven
from the dead
from a guy who was also dead
and she published it
and it's a real thing.
She published her own review.
No, no, no.
She's not saying it's a real thing.
No, the fact is
that's real.
That's a real.
All right. The only fact of that, there's a mental bitch
that got onto Jimmy Carson.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
Jimmy Carson.
That is like the biggest short America's Ever Hard.
It was all on LSD though.
I've got one question.
She's mental.
I've got one question.
Obviously, there's no real review.
I think we should do a review of one of her songs.
Go on.
That's actually good. Oh, God. Now, now apparently as well i did read and like some of it was it was suspicious apparently one skeptic said that they were suspicious because some of her things have like had
similarities to like film music that was out at the time such as like the james bond
intro is very similar to one of her songs. She played the same track. Were there? Do, do, do, do, do, do.
Yeah.
How do you spell seance?
S-E-A-N-C-E, right?
It's not on Spotify.
Why don't you just type
in Rosemary Brown
on YouTube, bruh?
Hey, bruh.
Rosemary.
You know one of the
Fred and Rose West convictions
were unpaid fines.
Which one do you want
to listen to?
Anything.
Her most famous one.
Okay, this is Reveille en Batur,
written by, from the dead,
Mozart.
Beethoven.
Oh, damn.
Go on.
That's quite nice.
It's alright.
I feel like this is just someone who's good at music, though.
Yeah.
It's just a mental woman who took loads this is just someone who's good at music though. Yeah.
It's just a mental woman who took loads of drugs who's just good at music.
She was born in London.
It took me one second to find out where she was born.
See, musical seance featuring Rosemary Brown, featuring Beethoven.
She's featured him.
She's featured him.
Oh my God. She's absolutely off red.
I mean, it's alright.
That's pretty impressive.
It's not a fact though. You haven't presented a fact. Well, she's alright. That's pretty impressive. It's not a fact, though.
You haven't presented a fact.
Well, she's speaking a bit,
all in front of the dead.
That's not a fact.
Well, she went and
Jimmy Carson.
I can't believe she's
dropped a feature on her album.
I'm a dead guy.
I just find it so funny.
Imagine the nerve.
Not only to claim that
you're talking to all
these dead people,
but then to give yourself
a review for one of the
best regarded dead in Paws.
Because it is apparently
a good video.
I'm joking, you idiot.
Right, thanks for watching, everyone.
Thanks for listening.
If you are listening right as far as I was,
if you're watching, like and subscribe.
Otherwise, I'll find you and I'll finger you.
Goodbye.
Jesus.
You made it to the end.
Well done, you.
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