Back Side - *HEATED* We Try Couples Therapy! Reev Has a MELTDOWN & Mammoth Back From Extinction...

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

The lads plan a shock intervention as Marriage Councillor Paul surprises enters the studio to help fix Lewis and Toms relationship!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Hold my hand. Hold his hand. These are all really interesting points. No. Right.

I'm holding your hand. Tom, why are you so defensive about holding his hand? Is there something you need to open up about? Tom's a little bit flustered now. Yeah, because I don't know what's about to happen. He's better not be a therapist. We have our marriage counsellor, Paul, here. It seems like Lewis has got lots of the power,

but it doesn't look, when you watch it, as if Lewis has got lots of the power. I just simply want Tom to love me the way I love him. Get those scaly fingers off my neck. The cat phone, what they did was they tested it on a cat and they like stuck a wire in one of its ears and they stuck a wire in the other of its ears. And then they start like speaking into one ear

through the wire, like a cup. I don't know if the cat could hear the conversation as well. Oh, shh. Scientists trying to bring back the woolly mammoth, create a woolly mouse. Do you know how crazy that actually sounds when you say that out loud? Me and Lou have explained the science to you. And you don't understand. And you give me any scientific reason as to why they take the DNA that is rescued from an extinct creature and go,

you know, this would be great if we put it in a mouse. That's where you start and then put it in- No you don't! I ginger with blogging and I said, send me that fucking video now. Yeah. And then as soon as you cut the camera, Mr. Weaver's like, yeah, fuck that, I ain't doing that. I only say nice things on camera. Did he actually?

What, it's like a funny joke or? No, he's being serious. He wouldn't say, I only say nice things on camera. He's like, I just say, I just say like I pay for things on camera. It's not. Yeah. You're going to go beast mode. It's not though, is it?

For Thailand. It's not fucking beast mode, is it? Don't look at me like that. Because I'll feel sorry for you now. Shut your fucking mouth. Right, should we start the podcast? Yeah, absolutely, mate. We're all here. What?

My turtleneck. It's not a fancy dress. Well, I'm glad that these... Why are you wearing glasses? I've always worn glasses. I'm glad that you used dress for the occasion to be fair. Do you like my turtleneck by the way? It's not actually a turtleneck.

It's a quarter zip. It's a quarter zip? I hate you. It looks like it's trying to strangle you. Yeah, it is feeling it. It's meant to be like this. Oh my god. It looks better like that.

You've got to wear it. Fucking hell, it's like a cape. Fucking breathe. No, it looks better like that. You've got to wear it. Thank you for 50,000 subscribers! Yeah, thank you guys! Yay!

Thank you so much! Keep saying it! 50,000. 50k! thank you guys. Thank you so much. Keep saying it. 50,000. 50K. Why do you always got to argue against this? It's all pitch. We thank them.

You bullied me all morning on pitch side as well. Yeah, yeah. I didn't. You fucking did. You do have like a love, hate, father, son, wife. Yeah, some weird dynamic

you've got going on, man. What? I don't. There's no. It's not love, hate. There's no lover. Yeah. There's love from my side's no lover yeah there's love

on my side yeah yeah I love him totally get that are we talking about the weekend on this one or the next one

next one oh yeah so just forget everything that happened to you so yeah we basically let's not talk about

which basically is just what happens anyway yeah oh well can I talk about what I've been up to other than this weekend

or no because that's part of this week okay right well guys thanks for watching guys thanks for watching yeah thanks for watching thanks for the 50k thanks for the 50k glass of water

yeah are you nervous what's going on why are you also there's a bit of an off-fiber about you today I feel like

I've told you I want to die yeah Lewis I would like to discuss this please because not only are you now writing on your own hand wow like a Harry Potter you're giving me the rock vibes yeah I'm losing it I would like to discuss this, please, because not only are you now writing on your own hand.

Wow. Like a Harry Potter. You're giving me the rock vibes. Yeah. I'm losing it. I feel like I'm... Why have you been so stressed and depressed recently? I've sort of been like in the thick of it and I think everyone knows.

Everybody knows, yeah. Can you stop copying my t-shirt drip as well? You can't keep copying Uniqlo. He owns white t-shirts, by the way. I can't wear Uniqlo without him saying it's all his style your style's fucking

running shoes and velcro you know before you started wearing those guess what you asked me where'd you get your t-shirt from no I didn't

yeah you did I asked where you have to shave Uniqlo's quite a big thing though because no you're trying to repopularise

Uniqlo no no I'm hearing actually Harry is now trying to claim that he invented Uniqlo. Is he? Luke, why have you been so sad recently? You actually have been very stressed.

It's starting to piss me off a little bit. It's pissing, sorry. It's pissing me off because you don't need to be this stressed. Do you know what I was annoyed about? Brother, you have such a blessed life. And you moan about it constantly. Yeah, you do. I actually don't moan about it.

I just feel like you can feel it. You do. You moan about it all the time. But I can't believe what he said, by the way. So I had to move a lot of our schedule around to compensate for Theo's great opportunity that he had, which we spoke about last week. Fair enough, whatever.

But then Theo came in, he was like, on the Sunday evening and said, oh, I can't do this recording this day, by the way. The record that I booked and moved to compensate his booking, that added stress on my life because I had three records to do today to prep for. And then what he said to me is,

yeah, I've had a hard two, Lewis. Like, think about like the week I've had. Where he's had the best week of his life. And he's like, yeah, but think about the dopamine come down from that.

I was like, let's compare how much he had so much unbelievable fun that he has a come down comparing it to my just stress from compensating for that week. Is it not travelling

through different time zones? Oh, no! When he says that, I don't know if he's joking or joking. Comparing it to my just stress from compensating for that week. There's a lot of travelling through different time zones. Oh, no! When he says that, I don't know if he's joking or joking. He's had a tough week, but he's been substantially financially covered by it. Yeah, he's been paid massively

for the best week of his life. I think you'll find that yesterday you got paid substantially as well. Did I? By me. Wait, you gave him his payment like seven days late? I've been too busy. Jesus Christ.

No wonder he's stressed. They can't pay his rent. No, but do you know, sometimes at the start of the year, you used to come in with all this energy and then you get whittled down into like a tiny little worm and then you just want to go back in your hole. Then you get bullied from Tom.

I've spent like four days with Tom in the past seven days. Lewis, that is an exception. I don't want to be that guy, right? But you have a really blessed life and you should start seeing the positive in a lot more things. Also, that isn't true. What? I've seen you like twice.

You don't have a blessed life. I'm counting the times when you've been asleep. I'm sorry. Sometimes I like to be snuggled buddies. That isn't a stressful time. It is because any minute you could wake up and choke me. It doesn't stop me doing it. That's kind of like risk to reward is like kind of sexy.

Is this like your Superman era, by the way? We sort of looked at the glasses and didn't really address it. Sleeve man. Sleeve man. Sleeve man. Shit, you are sleeve man. I saw the comments, by the way. People were like, everyone's sleeping on sleeve man.

I don't think anyone said that. I think sleeve man had a good... How did the Georgia episode do? It's climbing a bit. It was hard because it's like been loads of footy and that and loads of shit happening. Oh yeah, like every week.

Yeah. It's kind of what we do, isn't it? That's kind of what we do. But we got something more important today. Yeah, discussing your... Yeah, why are you so sad? I'm not sad. You sort of danced around the bush here, lad.

I'm not sad. I think you should start practicing gratitude having i'm having an early life crisis what early early is a bit i mean that's generous isn't it explain the crisis to us open up brother it's like um do you ever just think like what the fuck is like what's the point like what are we doing this for and why does it even matter? I sometimes think about what the end goal is. But like, coming into the process,

you kind of just forget about that, don't you? Yeah, and then the weeks pass. Stop thinking about the end goal. Stop thinking about the now. Oh,

I've been telling this to you for months and you always just call me a Debbie Downer. Like, there's no point in anything. You just chill. Yeah.

That's some hardcore facts there. Also, you do find reasons to get stressed very easily. Yeah, and I don't. We go through this. You do find reasons to get stressed very easily. I don't. We go through this. You see a tiny...

That's not very nice. You see a tiny, tiny aspect of what my job is, which is these few hours here. I just think you pretend you have more to do than you actually do. Lewis, Lewis, I managed to juggle... You're a delegator, mate. You're a delegator. I managed to juggle four uploads. You're a delegator, mate. You're a delegator.

I managed to juggle four uploads a week and university. He does no work. He does no work. You do no work. I've been doing this for 10 years.

Realistically, actually. No, realistically, you were in the past the whole half of the week. You did no work. You did no work. Tell me what I just said. I don't care.

Tell me what I just said. To your current life, you don't do any work. What? You get to go on shoots and kick balls about but people are setting up the cameras for you

then they edit it for you genuine question what would you what do you consider as a baseline of work then if he was like editing them himself

and he was like setting up the cameras and I had that response because he doesn't go there with the responsibility of like is this camera going to work is the edit going to be okay because that's not his job

of course I do I'm in charge of everything no you're not Ben's running it who's this guy Ben's running it when he said to the

camera you're not saying it's that camera the right side we saw what happens yeah he does do that yeah but we saw what happens when it goes

wrong what are you on about for your Newcastle shoot yeah he takes full responsibility for when Ben or like the camera breaks yeah Yeah, it's kind of beast mode. But that's still bad. Every job feels like work eventually and even yours will. That is also true. But

when Theo Baker compares the rough week he had to maybe a rough week myself and even the same way I try to compare a rough week I had to like someone who was labouring in the rain or whatever. I'm just defending the fact labouring in the rain whatever I would never complain about I wouldn't your comparison of you driving a Formula E car and playing the Simon charity match

and going to Dubai I didn't say anything to do with that mate I just defended the fact that you said to me I don't work no I'm on about yesterday when we left

that's what you just said to me and I just said to you you're talking about all these stresses but I uploaded four times a week for three years straight whilst going to university. Yeah, I was in like the easy mood

of YouTube, you know. You saw I just go to a footy pitch and kick the ball, don't you? Bullshit. Anytime you start doing well, start uploading. He's a hater. Every time you do anything well, anytime

I do anything good, hater. You need a hater. Every time you do anything well, he's a hater, mate. Anytime I do anything good, hater. You need to start seeing the positive in him. No, no, no. Proper not hater. He's projecting because... No, you also can't punch down and we are above him in every way possible. Lewis, what I think you're having,

what I think you're actually going through right now, and obviously we can discuss this further in a minute, but what I think you're going... You wish you had our lives, that's what it is. No, I like making stuff. I feel like... Just don't worry, guys. You are afraid.

Don't worry about it. I just won't chat. I don't think I... Literally in the middle of a sentence. Go on, then. And you both interrupt it. Go on, sorry. What I think is going on here, Lewis,

is that what the fuck is wrong with your glasses? It's broken, man. You know you talk about your early life crisis you're having. What I think has happened is actually you've hit so much success so quick since coming back from afghanistan success that you don't know how to handle this success and the the joy that your life is now i think i think and this is an so i think you put value on what you deem success but i don't necessarily deem that as success you might deem on screen stuff and do that as success,

but that is not my definition of success. I'm not saying that. Bro, you were getting fucking... You had a lot of fans there on Saturday night. I see success.

But is that success, Tom? Lewis, I see success as you are now... It depends what you value. Lewis, you're living in a flat with your girlfriend. That's a great... You're not sharing rent

with your friends anymore. You have a very successful job, which financially does very well. I get bullied up daily at my job. You won a very successful job, which financially does very well. I get bullied up daily at my job. You've won a boxing fight in front of thousands of people with the biggest bonus on the night. You're one of the lead content roles

and one of the best podcasts in the world. Well, that's... All right, come on, you have great friends. That's a round table of what everyone's definition of success is because I'm quite sure you can see the difference.

I don't really have one. Yeah, I thought that might be the case. What about yours? Feel... Come to me last. No, no, no. But you had a definition of what it would be being successful.

I feel like you're progressing. I don't know. Me personally, I think success would be being able to live a comfortable life. But yeah, do that,

but with enough freedom to have... That's exactly the word that I was going to use. That's my definition of success. To have social, time freedom, financial freedom,

health freedom. Freedom's a good one. Do you think as well... Freedom is the most important word, I think. I think you're right. And also stability.

I think having stability in your life is a success Would you do insta- insta- insta- insta- what is it? Instability? Instability creates havoc and chaos Mm-hmm, which can cause stresses. Yes, so having More stability will decrease your stresses. So it's like someone could be earning- so do you view Success is just a lack of stress. Sorry's okay it's all right oh it depends what type of stress though because good their stress is good in certain scenarios stress yeah for example what's that you stress so like when you're like physical stress physical yeah through an iron man yes yeah but no you know what you it's impossible to not have any stress in your life it doesn't mean it doesn't matter how much money you earn or whatever you do.

You know when billionaires are complaining or whatever. Relative though, isn't it? It's all relative. Oh, everything's relative. The life we live is better than an 18th century monarch right now. No. I don't know. Do you think?

No, why? They have orgy after orgy. They're eating the best meat. Killing anyone they want. They've go beast mode every day. Do you know when they die? Be funny or you die.

Do you know when they died? About 35. So they had 35 better years than you. Better than what I've been doing. Yeah. I sincerely disagree. No way. No way.

I think anyone has the right to complain. Yes. Of course. Yes, but you have to be wary who you're complaining to. Everyone has the right to complain,

but it's it's about being aware it's about being aware of maybe other people have it a bit tougher than you maybe just

even if you even if it is true and you think it maybe just don't say it I think the thing for me I feel the same now as I did when I was working at

Sandries and then at Radio or whatever so like I don't think it doesn't actually change. He's just a

bully. But I think complaining works as well. If you use that for positive correction. I think that's

quite fitting actually, because I opened up vulnerably. Say it one more time. You opened up

what? I opened up vulnerably and you guys were listening and taking my feelings on account and Tom

interesting didn't interesting yeah very interesting hang on a second hang on wow that's so fucking interesting I need to put up

you fucking put my cape up no but you you don't get it around your neck it's not meant to be you were the one who said you got sucked up by your manager

at Sainsbury's. Again, I told you that in confidence. Tom, you think we look very open right now? Pardon? What are you wearing? Those trousers. Is that the word you were looking for? Hold my hand. Open? No, they're scaly. They're horrible. Hold his hand, darling.

Hold my hand. Hold his hand. These are all really interesting points. I'm not holding your hand. Tom, why are you so defensive about holding his hand? Is this something you need to open up about? It's not. Oh, honestly, come on, feel his hand. I can't throw up by it.

They're disgusting. You know what, Lewis? I think there's something he needs to really open up a little bit about. Yeah. There's clearly something holding him back right now. All right. Here we go. What's the plan?

What's the plan of the podcast? Could you? I think, Tom, obviously, you talk about bumming him openly, but yet you won't hold his hand. Yeah, because I'll have... I will have sex with him. I just don't want to be... Also, I still can't go over the fact

that Lewis said, I don't work. I actually find that incredibly rude. I'll just battle him here at the job. A bit very quickly. Tom's a little bit flustered now because I don't

know what's about to happen he's better not be a fucking therapist I'm not doing a therapy session there's a very

big difference mate between therapist and marriage counselling fuck off come on in Paul thank you

Paul you are joking hold my hand. You are fucking joking. I'm reaching out to you as a couple. You have not got a fucking marriage counselling room. Mate, we're in a relationship. And these are also for the day.

The one I sent you an email. Yeah. Background. So, Paul, can you introduce yourself, please? Can you pull that mic in there just a bit tighter? Can you introduce yourself, please, for those at home? Sorry about the mic. Oh, God, it keeps me...

Do you want to try and fix the mic before we get started? That'll do. That'll do. That's fine. Okay. I'm guessing you've just been told who I am, yeah? Well, yeah. Sorry, Tom.

Yeah, it's all right. Tom. They must be paying you a lot for these. Touch my hand. No, I don't want to touch you. They're scaly. See, this is what I'm on about, ref. Ref!

Ref! Ref! It's not football, mate. Maybe we should start with you, Lewis, shall we? Yeah. Tell us what you hope for. Oh, it's another drive, right? Yeah, it is.

If you're bringing him in, you're getting it as well. If you're listening at home, we have our marriage counsellor, Paul, here, joined by the core counsellors of Theo Baker, going by Dr. Bacotron and Dr. Reefy. I was going to go by the reference. How much do you know about these two? Very little.

Well, would you like us to quickly fill you in? Pardon? I actually did. On the show. That is not the plan. So, Lewis, I know you've sent an email before. Lewis is a nice guy, but he deals a lot with stress.

Your hand's off me. He deals very badly with stress. He creates a lot of stressful scenarios in his own head. He overthinks a lot of things. And I think that can cause a bit of friction between the two. Doctor, I'd like to think. No, Lewis, you'll have your time. Can we object in these sessions?

Can we go i'm just trying to give a bit of background judge he's just he's there to mend your relationship and i'd say tom is we'll come back to you lewis we'll check out in a second but let tom is definitely on the other end of the spectrum where he he has his approach to life is everything's chill man why worry about anything because i feel like they might clash sometimes over that sort of thing get your hands get those scaly fingers off one do you have anything to add to about i i gave Why worry about anything? Because I feel like they might clash sometimes over that sort of thing. Get your hands, get those scaly fingers off one there. Do you have anything to add to that?

I gave a very thorough analysis. Oh my God. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for joining in with this. Look at him getting all defensive. You're making a sham of the marriage counsellor. See, I just feel like he's... The whole business. You're making a sham of the marriage counsellor. The whole business. You're making a sham of it. He's already degraded my thoughts and feelings in front of everyone.

Tom, this is important to me. Maybe we'll come to you. Should we come to you first as you were the one who brought me in? Yes, please. Just tell me what you hope to get from this afternoon. I just simply want Tom to love me the way I love him in terms of, you know... Get off my neck, leg, you freak. Lewis, if we're going to do this, we're going to do this properly. So Lewis, tell me, what are you communicating

by putting your hand on his leg? I think this is the most symbolic thing. I'm physically reaching out to him right now with my hand and he's turning me away. Yeah, what's wrong with that? I want you to pull me in close. Boy, megan fox to pull me in close it's not gonna happen do you do you usually do this at work yeah it's inappropriate isn't it metaphorically speaking yes although it was very real just then yeah metaphorically i always mean

i always you still do sorry sorry again i think what i need is approval from tom i think what we actually need Is a police officer For sexual assault In the workplace Not a marriage counsellor Well I'm not sure If you're reading into this

As I am But what I'm seeing Oh yeah Let's hear it From the other doctor Lewis is Lewis doesn't normally Act like this

So I think he's Maybe trying to show off Or something In front of the camera I'm trying to open up But normally He doesn't put his hand On his lap I think he's trying to Oh it oh i do oh he does okay well i think we really want to discuss

your actual relationship you know i don't want any fun and games here guys i want i want paul to really dive deep yeah okay come on so we come to you tom yeah what do you like about the relationship nothing nothing at all the monetary guy and I get from it, that's it. No, no. He's using me like... Tom, you've gained a great friend. You always tell everyone how much you love them. Well, more than that.

Not one of you, my friends, your colleagues. Tom, have we kissed? You can't lie to him. Have we? Have we kissed? I don't know. He's got a picture, mate. Now, I think there is some tension caused when Tom did actually kiss Lewis's girlfriend.

I might have led him on, to be honest. I feel like we need to get to that. I feel like, I don't know if the resentment that comes from Tom. If I had to love everyone I kissed, I'd be a lover, not a fighter. He kissed my mum and girlfriend in the same night. So when you said you'd come to that,

you meant to send them to Bayer. And for me... Lewis, I'm still not clear what you want from this afternoon. Well, yeah, me neither. This might seem weird doc but comment like

I didn't I wasn't angry about him kissing my mother and you know girlfriend it was more like the kiss that I didn't receive right

it's sort of like him choosing others before me others that he doesn't like know as well as me and like I always reach out to him metaphorically

but he pushes me away I would choose a term I was on the floor Tom you can we have less jokes now please what i would want to hear a real conversation going on where's the joke he's joking am i laughing they have to express their real feelings and it's to be thank you reverend poor yeah go on then anything else Thank you, Reverend. Poor man. Go on, man. Anything else? You big titty, Bobby. He's analysing. I don't know who's going to teleport. Are you going to let him call me, lads?

He's not your mum. It seems like this is the way you communicate, no? Yeah. No. I don't want to communicate like that anymore. He calls me a worm. He calls me a termite that he wants to shoot. He tells me he wants me to die daily.

When you talk, you need to let other people talk. So how would you like it to be? Hello, Lewis. How are you? I'm good, Tom. You have a good weekend? Yeah, mate. It was good.

And has it ever been like that? Never. Never. Never. And how long have you been together? Sorry. Let's not do this. Working together. Working together. Not together. together? Sorry. Let's not do this. Working together.

Working together. Not together. Together's right. It's approaching. It's approaching. Delusions of grandeur again, Lewis. It's approaching three years. Get your scaly paws off my leg.

Sorry. You get very aggressive. Reign it in, actually. Do we need the talking? How would you feel if you were being sexually assaulted at work? Pardon? Well, at least you might get some. But fuck you feel if you were being sexually assaulted at work? Well, at least you might get some, but...

Fuck you. Is that what the water's for? No. It's emotions. Let's take this seriously. Well, Reverend, have you said anything yet? I'm actually just observing.

Yeah. I'm ready to see what Paul says. Yeah. So, Lewis, you would like a certain way of communicating with Tom, but you've never had that

since you've met. We've had it in spurts, but... No, we haven't. But I feel like Tom's trying to hide from... Let's not lie. I feel like when me and Tom are alone, we sort of have a lot more of an intimate relationship. But when Tom's in front of an audience,

it's when he really plays up and uses me as the worm to pick on to make others laugh. And I'd just rather him treat me like an equal when people are around. So should we bring Tom and ask him what he thinks of what you've just said? I think that'd be good. It's okay.

Get your hands off me. Do you want to know what I think of that? I think he's a fucking idiot. I think he needs to grow up. Tom, that's not how we talk in here, is it? As to give a real serious answer, please. That is my serious answer. does anyone think i'm joking and what keeps you stop touching me tell me what keeps you together because it sounds tough after three years that it's still i think

sorry what do you mean to keep us together no i'll answer this one i think it's we work together you click buttons for the show i'm on that is it he just diminishes me down to this like useless little worm you are I mean you keep adding those words yeah I didn't actually say that

he calls me worm he did just say you are he did say you are so you're stuck with each other I know he likes to pretend it's that

but I know deep down I have no say in who the producer is he just happens to be the idiot behind the keyboard or whatever do you always speak to producers like that

no no just him just him so he's special he gets oh he's special indeed He just happens to be the idiot behind the keyboard or whatever. Do you always speak to producers like that? No, no, just him. Just him, so he's special. Oh, he's special indeed. Oh, he's special, yeah. Can I ask, is that something you see often where maybe at school, I saw this a lot, you know, you fancy a girl and you maybe kick a football at them or something like that. Who's doing that?

I don't know. But you, Tom, I notice that you don't speak to any other producers like that, but you feel you can talk to Lewis like that who's doing that i don't know but you but you tom i noticed that you don't speak to any other producers like that but you feel you can talk to lewis like that does that say anything to you paul it says something about self-esteem i would say your self-esteem lewis what does that mean because who's got more power in the relationship would you say he's the power bottom and i'm like the lewis he's got you've got more power he's the power bottom and you've got someone who speaks to you regularly in a I don't have power I'm

comfortable way and you carry on you don't check it stop it I don't have power you do Lewis he also he also speaks to me in the exact same way often that's a that's

a lie your honor I'm guessing you just do this to each other you don't do this no I'm not even the team you don't do these to these guys oh yeah I'll speak to you to these guys he's not as nasty

sorry that is not true you're scared of Reeve I speak to them I tell them to die daily he's scared of Reeve and Theo attacked him once on a stream oh that was an accident

actually yeah should we talk about that there's not much to talk about it's a pure accident yeah doctor really where do you where do you see the power dynamic

in this room well I'm also interested in how conflicts resolved in the organisation how do you resolve conflict when you're clearly not I sort of deep

well this is why you're here Paul because you just absorb it I absorb it I'm like a sponge but this sponge is starting to burst

and they criticise me for a sponge doesn I'm like a sponge, but this sponge is starting to burst and they criticise me for... A sponge doesn't burst. How can a sponge burst? They keep criticising me for like... You talk about a sponge... Guys, I'm just trying to feel my feelings in front of you. Could you say you're more of a water balloon? You know?

The water fills up, you take it, you take it, you take it until there's too much. Yeah, he's filling me in. Up. In. You explode like a water balloon. Is that... We're mixing our metaphors that's okay oh i can't believe you got a fucking marriage yeah so what

so what is the power dynamic looking like between either the two of them or the four of us here well it looks very imbalanced there's a kind of you'd kind of call it an arranged marriage in a way wouldn't you so yes one person didn't really have a choice about sort of entering it yeah and then it seems like lewis has got lots of the power but it doesn't look when you watch it as if lewis has got lots of the power no the ironic thing as well is that lewis is actually the one that invited tom into the marriage in the first place i liked him that isn't true and it would suggest there's something quite masochistic about lewis he kind of likes being kicked yeah no you definitely do no you definitely do bring it on yourself like you do like to like have people go at you.

I feel like you like get off on it a lot of the times. No, you do. I'm getting bullied. That's like bullying the twerp in the corner. I'd said you like this really. It's like, no, don't bully me, please. Lewis likes to say things that antagonize people and people online. I've never once antagonized Tom.

Generally speaking, Hillers. So you like to get reaction from people? Yes. Yes. antagonize people and people online i've never once antagonized tom i'm talking generally speaking hillers so you like to get a reaction from people yes yes not those close to me and we're not close get your hands off sorry if you try to do it a slightly different way then you get people's backs up get the what you don't get the same response i i think i think only what this comes down to is tom has homosexual feelings and I think that's safe to say there's a video that I think we should talk about that's quite relevant here.

That's an annoying video. We're not playing that, are we? Why did you bring that up? I thought that was irrelevant. Well, because it's relevant to our relationship. It's relevant to our relationship. That was a really traumatic experience of my life. You always talk about wanting to get bummed

and I'm a male who also feels emotions towards you, but yet you push me away and I feel like you're running. I wanna get bummed by Brad Pitt, not fucking Goonie from the Sloth. You're running from those emotions. Sloth from the Goonies, fuck's sake. Guys, we're getting off track here. It's called the Sloth from the Goonies, ref.

Okay, you two need to calm it down. You do look like him though. We're getting off track here. Reeve, I slothed from the Goonies ref. Okay, you two need to calm it down. You do look like him though. We're getting off track here. Reeve, I believe you sent an email. I did send an email. What the fuck? Can we start going through the email if that's okay with you?

They're so fucking busy with their lives. Guys, for one second, if you mind, stop talking to me. You're all saddos. Can we just hold hands through this bit?

Can we just do this seriously? Can we actually hold hands through this bit? Because I'm really I'm really I'm just sick of our relationship. Hold my hand.

So just How many of you brought this poor bloke in to do this? Does it get serious? It does. We want it to get serious but I think that's

that may be actually one of the issues. How do you do that? How do you make it serious? How do you get it serious? We change the lighting normally. Yeah. Press the

It's already on serious though. Your hand hands off my oh wait we're already on time tommy lewis i that is that is actually a good question you know for the next 10 minutes can we just do this properly i've done the whole thing honestly and properly and i would no more acting from you no water on your eyes and you have to respect tom he's clearly uncomfortable if you touch on his legs So maybe stop that. I was like, I'm going to work through this email. It's all about me with you.

That's the problem in this relationship. Finally, you're opening up. Me, me, me. I want to do this. I want to do that. Well, I fucking don't.

I wake up each day and pray for the news. Lewis Bowden has passed, unfortunately, at the age of 27. Boys, because this is quite a unique opportunity

we have with Paul here, so I'd really like to take this seriously. So my email... Stop being serious. So you two, we're going to put you two on pause for the next 10 minutes.

So my email, to summarise, obviously you've read this first hand. For everyone else in the group, pay attention. Yes, sir. General overview

of the relationship. Substantial abuse of power, certainly in general conversation, Tom being higher in the company hierarchy than Lewis. I think that's fair. Wait, I abuse my power? Yes. How do I abuse my power?

Tom definitely assuming the primary position in this relationship. He's the power boy. There's a collective drinking issue. Drinking? For when you're both together, I feel like you consume too much alcohol. You're just a fanny, mate.

Name calling. Name calling. This brought you together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drinking's cool, isn't it? These are fucking nerds. Deep down, truly love each other, but superficially bully each other.

There you go. See, not one way. Two, incredibly... No, because I'm not a bitch, but... He acts the same way I act. Sly Diggs. It's uncalled for. I just don't play the bullying card.

That was uncalled for. Sorry, your honour. Lewis, give it now. Give it here. Okay. Two incredibly stubborn people as individuals. I'm not stubborn. So is he.

Okay, good point. Mutual hatred for each other's work ethic. Lewis works too hard tom works too little lewis has a creative mind tom is very skeptic of his ideas and often lewis has outlandish suggestions not always successful or smart but relentless in his pursuit for progress tom has a very logical mind, whereas Lewis can be very illogical. Can you stop touching my leg?

Sorry, I keep forgetting to have it. Guys, can we actually do this properly, please? I spent 45 minutes last night with this guy. Seriously, because... Then you need a life. Seriously, seriously, guys. Can we have it on the side quest? What do you think about him

spending 45 minutes on that message? You told me to do this. You told me to do this because he said, I'm too busy with everything. I can't bother. I've got to play golf. Anyway, we are

getting through these bullet points. Tom has a very laissez-faire approach to content. Lewis always finds an imperative need to know what's going on

where and when. What the fuck's laissez-faire? It basically means like hands off. You always use fancy words I don't know why.

It's French. We're English. English motherfucker do you speak it? Stop talking. Tom has a very relaxed view on life and doesn't get

easily stressed. Vice versa for Lewis, finds constant stress in many things. That's the word, find. They do enjoy each other's company,

though, even though it may not seem that way. I think you can both agree on that one, can't you? It took me 45 minutes to put that tell me

you like your time you talk uh both really good people at heart with true care for each other and both fairly selfless when it comes to each other's needs lewis is an authoritarian when it comes to both podcasts though and uh both have an adult and both have a concerning frequency of using the phrase beast mode dictator i'd say paul what's your thoughts on what you've seen so far? I was wondering if you could do to each other what he just did. Could you do that to each other without A breakdown. falling into insults and

I think that's a fair assessment. No, I think we should do it to each other. I don't think we should. I think So the answer's no. You don't think you could do it? No, we'll go for it. No, I mean, I just agree with all that.

I couldn't add anything to that. Oh, you can't. Other than the fact that I think you strongly remind me of Adolf that. I couldn't add anything to that. Oh, you can. Other than the fact I think you strongly remind me of Adolf Hitler. I think Tom has love for me and he's scared to show it in public, but he does show snippets of it.

So for me, it's more like breaking through that barrier with Tom. I'm like, what does he need to be able to show it in person? What are we doing? That's actually true. You're laughing, but that's actually very true. What do I need to be able to show in person? What are we doing? That's actually true.

You're laughing, but that's actually very true. What do I need to give him to make him feel comfortable to show the love that I know he feels? Yeah. What's your need for love? Yeah. Why do you see weird love from Tom? I think being a youngest child, the need for attention and love is something that drives deep. You don't have enough people in your life?

That's a breakthrough. That is a breakthrough. Do you need validation yes but only mainly from Tom why do you need it from me

do you not have enough people in your life you're the one man who won't give me I was going to ask do you usually

go after people who are unavailable yeah see ya I like part of me does like the challenge of Tom

because I know when I do get a sip on the like the nectar of his love then it's going to be it will be delightful are we able to dive a little bit deeper

into maybe Lewis if he's more willing to open up a little bit I feel like that's we need to make sure Tom does open up no because I think

I don't know if this is what you're reading here Tom Paul sorry if I feel like if Tom sees Lewis open up a little bit more, maybe you'll be more inclined to open up a little bit more. There's nothing to open up. Vulnerability is a powerful thing.

Stop touching me. Tom, did you say that is correct? Yeah. There you go. Are we able to focus in on it? Yeah, we're able to focus in on it. Why would you want Lewis to open up? Funny.

Isn't he funny when he opens up? He wants me to open up so he can laugh at me. He's laughing at him being all vulnerable and like, ooh, look at me. So you carry on doing what you do? Yeah. And this kind of works? Three years you've been playing these roles and it kind of works? Yeah, yeah. No, because I'm not happy. I'm not happy. Well, you can quit, can't you?

Yeah, Tom cannot. Ref? I can't quit. Actually, Lewis, you're not allowed to quit either. I'm sort of trapped in this perpetual state of hell. But it kind of works I can't quit actually Lewis you're not allowed to quit either I'm sort of like trapped in this perpetual state of hell but it kind of works

though no no I've seen lots lots worse marriages than this yeah I don't feel like it's working

I feel really sad he has financial freedom he has great friends Doc did you hear that though me me me I I I self self self it's all about him isn't it

I care about you greatly Tom do you i love you yeah i don't know why you can't say that i love you thank you and are there other people you love i love him i love him you don't like me i love everyone yeah i love those close to me okay and i look but tom won't tell me he loves me do you do the same with them as you do with Tom I've never felt any love from Lewis towards me I only get

you're late where are you and why are you not here strangely my relationship is almost the opposite Lewis shows me love a lot do you know why because he's on time

very tactile with me especially after a couple of drinks as well and also he has the ability to not listen a lot of the time so even when we are doing something correct that he's asked for and we've already done it as well. And also he has the ability to not listen a lot of the time.

So even when we are doing something correct that he's asked for and we've already done it, his brain is so elsewhere. He's a control freak. I find he's not present in the moment so we do something

and he said, you haven't done it and we go, we have done it and he goes, do it again. Ref, I would like to point out that Theo's a multi-millionaire

and he just feels like he's used to people fixing his problems for him so he sort of he sort of just says anything on camera and I'll try and politely explain

Theo I need these words exactly just for like for this reason that reason he'll then go on a 10 minute rant on why I'm an idiot and then he'll eventually

say the words that we could have said originally but I'm guessing also it's kind of hard to hear the team feedback to you especially when we've already done what you've asked they haven't they didn't otherwise I wouldn't ask for it it's kind of hard to hear the team feedback to you especially when we've already done

what you've asked you haven't you didn't otherwise I wouldn't ask for it it's the stubborn that we're talking about

yes because all of us were there at the time we all agreed we'd already done it he wasn't and it was also actually on camera

so you can look back at it yeah true and he just refused to listen to our opinions and he does it quite often

I feel like we're getting off topic you feel a bit ganged up on nah this is what he does again he'll like he'll try and

change the subject he knows he's wrong look Tom only opens up when it's getting at me why don't you talk dickhead now you're seeing

the real relationship you don't understand he's such a poor little bully man, isn't he, in the corner? Lewis. Get those... I wasn't touching you. Disgusting sandpaper hands away from me. Lewis.

Have you heard how he speaks to me? Have you felt his hands? I was wondering if they were smooth, whether it would be okay to put them there, would it? Yeah. It would. Yeah. Paul, honestly, feel his hands.

They are. Just have to have smooth hands and then it'll be okay. Is that not disgusting? He feels like a lizard. He's going, honestly, feel his hand. They are. They just have to have smooth hands and then it'll be okay. Is that not disgusting? He feels like a lizard. He's going to say, yeah. Guys,

we're getting off topic here because I feel like stroking an alligator's cock. We're going to do the... Why would he... I told you, homoerotacy swarms Tom at every turn.

I think that's where it gets down to. Because he's funny. Pass that rap, please. What would you like to tell us, Tom? I don't want to tell anything. I've got nothing to say down to. Because he's funny. Can you pass that rap, please? What would you like to tell us, Tom? I don't want to tell anything. I've got nothing to say.

Okay. I can answer questions. It's only Lewis that seems to have something to say. Well, yeah, as always. You have to open up. Get your hands off me. I keep forgetting.

He keeps communicating with touch. Well, no, he suddenly started to do this for this episode to try and wind me up, I think. I always do this. And let's just go back a little bit.

So three years together. Stop it. Obviously, reasonably successful. Yeah. So why change? Exactly. That's my point.

Stop doing that. Now that is weird. Yeah. Come on, guys. Let's be serious. Sorry. Tom just said it kind of works.

Let's carry on. Why change? Because I'm getting bullied and I'm not happy with how it is. Okay. Because the way it works for him is making people laugh by using me as a punching bag. And that isn't really a good... How would you suggest a friend dealt with a bully? You want me to fight him?

Punch him? What would you suggest if a friend said to you, I'm being bullied? What do you suggest? I'd laugh at him. Yeah, you'd sort of be like, come on, mate, you're 26. You're 26? I know it doesn't seem it i'm 26 yeah how would you advise a friend who said i'm being you'd stop maybe being their friend but the problem is i'm locked i'm locked in eternal i'm locked for you i'm locked in eternal work in relationship with this man if my mate said to me i'm being bullied i'll be like mate

you're 28 are you getting bullied so if if reeve came said to me I'm being bullied, I'd be like, mate, you're 28, how are you getting bullied? So if Reeve came to you saying he was being bullied, you'd stop being Reeve's friend? Yeah. I came to you saying I'm being bullied. What are you going to do?

I've came to you today saying I'm being bullied by Tom Garrett. What are you going to do? Well, first of all, I won't stop being your friend. I instructed a marriage counsellor of every point I felt relevant.

Yeah. That's what I did. I'm shutting off, Sam. I'm shutting off. Oh, no. God forbid you actually shut the fuck up. I'm closed. You're doing that thing where nothing that's relevant. Yeah. That's what I did. I'm shutting off, I'm shutting off. Oh no, God forbid you actually shut the fuck up. I'm closed.

You're doing that thing where nothing makes sense again. Yeah. Punching bag. You're closing down because... Oh shit, everyone bullies you now. Is it just me?

Punching bag. Is it just me? Feel scared of Tom. Paul asked you a question, Lewis. Asked you a question. You didn't hear him because you're too busy.

Yeah. Sly digs. Do you feel bullied I'm getting bullied everyone's ganged up on me right now ref because he's not opening up

and I'm the only one willing to put my feelings out there can I just check out are you the most powerful one out of this no I'm like the bitch he definitely is

so when you came in was the culture like this before no they were nice to the last producer I've never had I'd say we're nice to you. You are.

I think we treat you very well. I think we've done a lot more for you than anyone at this company has done. He holds that over my head, ref.

I reckon if we, I've done a lot more for you than you've even given 5% to me. I'm trying to pay it back in love. Tell us a bit more, Tom. Yeah, nice.

We spent quite a lot of money on him for a Christmas present for one of his favourite players signed shirts. Yeah, nice. We spent quite a lot of money on him for a Christmas present for one of his favourite players, signed shirts. That's true. A substantial amount

of money. We surprised him with his favourite footballer of all time. Yeah. And sent him to a Newcastle match with his dad.

Tom, you're just listing things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you said we. I thought you said collective thing. I wasn't involved in

that, was I no but it's your idea Tom uh okay uh yeah we've helped him I've helped him

be a part of two massive stop touching me sorry two massive podcasts help him grow personally on the face of most of his TikTok

I don't do TikToks anymore where they've done well um because he uses me for content. The list goes on and then him to me... Let me just check out,

what's it like hearing Tom say all these things? It feels like he puts value on the materialistic, but I just want love. I just want his friendship. All that is fantastic. We're back at work.

We're back at work. That's not how... You know, I don't judge... Aren't those actions... Aren't those actions... don't those actions prove love and like and whatever, whatever you want to feel? You just want me to have sex with you, that's what it is. You do seem to want more than the working relationship, don't you? We have more than a working relationship.

He's pretending this is a working relationship. Well, we definitely don't. We do. Well, we don't. We have more than a working relationship, Thomas. See, this is... See, are you not finding this borderline creepy now that it's this constant,

I want us to have this, I want this, I want this love, I want... Well, I don't want that. I can't just go up to a woman and go, I want you to love me. Because? Because that's illegal. So what makes it okay

to do it here I think you're right most workplaces probably wouldn't permit what's going on it's actually really unprofessional the way you're acting

all I want right now just so we can see where we're at each of us draw how we feel about the other so like maybe I draw you

I draw you and you draw me why are you doing this I just want to I just want to visualise for the audience back home how he feels about me. And he's once again taken control. It's not, to be honest, untypical of couples therapy.

So mostly when people come to couples therapy, they bring the partner and say, I'm fine. This person needs to change. Yeah. And I think this is what's going on here. Interesting. So Lewis brought me in because he wants essentially Tom to change. Yeah. But there is no relationship so this is a

very similar dynamic you actually see often it is and what what's different here is the overt challenge of boundaries this is regular infringement of tom's boundaries is unusual so this is horrendously backfired in this you're now actually on the brink of getting a call from the police. Before we show your photos, Paul, can I ask you, in this scenario, what is your usual go-to, I guess? Or is it different for everyone? You'd have to kind of go back to basics

and almost talk about how they want to kind of do the relationship. So what things do they need in place to help them manage a working relationship? Are we what things do they need in place to help them manage a working relationship are we able to do that are you able to do it are we able to do that now yeah you'd have to get their buy-in guys are you guys willing to set your own professional can we just show the photos before because i'm yeah of course although molly's basically a photo so this is how i see tom like this i see him like he's like my superman you're actually quite good at all that's how i see you back on my head why am i yeah why am i cross-eyed i didn't do the eyes well. So that's how I feel. See, Tom. Tom, how do you see me?

A worm. Is that a snake? It's a worm. Okay. Like a little... Wow, it's Lewis. Okay, we've got the fun and games over. Is that not... Look at his head.

He's got the same face. Are you guys willing to buy in and accept what is about to happen? Yes. Because you've had your laughter. All right. Yeah, we want a serious resolution. It feels like it would be very difficult

to get sort of buy-in, though. Yeah, it'd be very difficult. Yeah, no, we'll buy in. We'll buy in. Are we there, maybe? Are we it'd be very difficult. Yeah, we'll buy-in. We're bought-in. Are we there, maybe? Are we there now? What do you want us to do?

We're working out what you both want from the relationship going forward. Paul, would you say so far what you've heard and witnessed that I'm probably not the issue that I've been made out to be? Stop touching me. As a working couple,

it's always we. But you both operate with lots of I's. So we need to think about each other more. We're not a couple. That's the whole... But you're a working couple it's always we but you both operate with lots of I's so we need to think about each other more we're not a couple that's the whole we're a working couple we are a working couple we're a working couple

we're a working couple we're a duo I don't know if both of you understand working couple in the same way I do though but I don't have boundaries in that way

I think you've got a reasonable sense of what you think a working relationship is thank you I think Lewis you've got a more blurred version stop it I think, Lewis, you've got a more blurred version.

Stop it. I think we just... Why do you have me there? Lewis, can you just take this seriously? I think we would thrive if we were closer. Yes. Again, you think, you think, you think. But I can't speak for you, Thomas.

What you want is to be more physically close with Tom or emotionally close. Both, ideally, yeah. Which just isn't professionalism. But his boundaries extend to the point where he doesn't want to do that this isn't a working

relationship though I'm happy for our working relationship not we're not in a working relationship to what are we in a relationship

a personal relationship delusions of grandeur again it is a personal relationship can you listen to grandfather reeve over here

we have a personal relationship and just for once in your life for once Tom's accepting now Tom's actually doing this seriously can you actually doing this seriously.

Can you just do this seriously? We are in a personal relationship. You are in a personal relationship? Yes. But you're not in a sexual relationship? Not yet, but like as a... I can't speak for what the future holds. He wanked off his mate in Tenerife.

If we're mates now, he might wank me off at some point. How would your girlfriend feel about you talking like this? Well, she kissed him, so like... Yeah. She has no leverage. He's's kissed me you have to think like i've been sort of led down a road yeah he kissed me if he had a few drinks right now what does that mean to you

yeah it was nice to get a taste of the lions would you usually end a session like with a hug no i would probably go to you and say what can you do personally to improve the relationship i think i can treat tom how i want him to treat me that is again selfish so that doesn't sound like a relationship that sounds like just you yeah what's the right answer? No. But treating others how you want to be treated is just a general... I feel like, Paul,

I'm not going to lie. Paul, I think you're... I think you... Come on. Yeah, yeah. You have a word. Yeah. It's all Tom.

Yeah. If just Tom would do what you wanted, life would be okay. That's fine. I'm happy to take it. Now, Paul, you're actually starting

to speak well, aren't you? Luke, you know when Paul asks a couple of questions to both of you individually in the future, can you answer them properly? What question did I not answer properly? I answered questions properly there.

I said, I want Tom to stop bullying me and call me a worm and pick on me in front of people. That's fine, I can do that. Just answer them seriously. No, if he asks me a question, I would be vulnerable and answer them properly. If you do it from your perspective, because you haven't got any power over Tom, have you? No.

So what can you do? Did you hear that? Did you hear that though? This is my last roll of dice, getting a marriage counsellor in. Other than that, I don't know what else I can do. Is it divorce? See, can you divorce with

someone you're not with? Technically technically i'll have to interject here technically if lewis does divorce uh he'll be on the streets i'm trapped in hell alabama i'm trapped in hell that which which fills me what really we're looking at is an abuse of power um but i feel like let's let's just have a look how could because we've all said what we need to say let's see how we can make this better i don't think we have yeah i really don't think we have i don't think we've i don't actually think we've achieved anything yeah i don't know what you think here well i'm clearer than i was when i started about the dynamic and it looks slightly terminal but it also i agree seems to work because you've got three years under your

belt yeah you seem to both it's like sweet and sour in this sort of banter that seems to work because you've got three years under your belt you seem to both it's like sweet and sour in this sort of banter that seems to work hot and spicy and you like it stop it yeah thoughts on that

worm Lewis he says all this right but I don't know if I speak for you guys I feel like we feel the same Lewis is irreplaceable to us

and I don't think Lewis knows it or feels it. Is that true, Lewis? Do you know it or feel it? Oh, this is backfired on you,

isn't it, mate? Instead of laughing, why don't you actually open up? It is interesting the deeper we get, the less you actually want to do this.

Yeah, exactly. He thought this would be me. But at the same point, what do you think of what I just said? It makes me feel really uncomfortable. Why? Why is that? the less you actually want to do this. Yeah, exactly. You thought this would be me. But at the same point... What do you think of what I just said? It makes me feel really uncomfortable. Why?

Why is that? Tell us why. We appreciate it. Our appreciation... No, that's quite interesting because you demand more love but when you receive it, you're...

See, that's weird, isn't it? Yeah, that is strange. How do you... Weird. You're on to something. You should say that. That is strange. You can't be yearning for more love for other people and then when it's lemon it's granted you might maybe i know it makes you feel uncomfortable so i'll go the other way

yeah you actually prefer how do you see that paul it's interesting that we're in the last couple of minutes we've kind of started to sort of speak in relatively straightforward language not aggressive and it feels uncomfortable yes it feels like you can snipe and sort of accuse yes there you go

judge it feels easier maybe Paul maybe I think it's great how it is oh right that's what you said to me oh right

oh that's really sad man we were finally starting to get somewhere and you're shutting it down yeah you stupid ugly worm uh uh sorry

sometimes it's natural but that happens a lot this will trigger it back into the pattern that you used to run it yeah but I'm happy without it I'm happy without stupid, ugly worm. Uh-uh. Sorry. Sometimes it's natural. But that happens a lot. This will trigger it back into the pattern that you used to run it. Yeah, but I'm happy with how everything is. This suggests in a way

it's kind of hard to get intimate. Yeah. As we get nearer to being... Should I get intimate with a colleague? We're not a colleague. ...in how we talk.

Oh. So these guys seem to be interested in how you guys are feeling, what's going on. I don't like when you call us colleagues. It's hard to talk about. They're pretending to be. They're pretending, of course.'s going on i don't like when you call the police it's hard to talk they're pretending to be they're pretending of course

yeah yeah no i i care seriously about both of you that's not fair christ yes so do i i agree i wouldn't have done the last night if i didn't stop saying that don't do that looking at me what happens when a woman comes into the department Lewis Nomi runs

this is very male very rarely woman ever steps foot in this room actually I'm not surprised

not that you don't not that not that you don't look at me like you're an actual therapist

twiddling your pen I think this is your idea don't fucking use that if Reeve here was in your looking at me like you're an actual therapist to a linear pen. I think Reeves... This is your idea. Don't fucking use it. I didn't think it would go like this. If Reeves here was in your position, he would be vulnerable

and he'd open up. I'd be happy to leave him behind. Ask me a question, though. Yeah, because he's a wet lettuce. Okay. Does this change when there's alcohol involved? Yes, it does.

Yeah, the dyno is very different. What happens with alcohol? Tom becomes very loving and he always tells you how much he loves you. I do love you all though, but I don't need to say every two minutes.

Like you, you fairy. Actually, you've never told me you love me. I did today. Yeah, for a joke on the podcast.

Yeah, that's true actually. I've never heard it in earnest. Tom becomes more loving and more caring. Lewis does the opposite. Oh, I disagree with that.

I'm just more vocal. I'm not any less loving or caring. I'm just more vocal about it. More vocal. Whereas Lewis starts exasperating all his issues out loud. So everything he's storing up when he's sober,

when he's drunk, it all comes spilling out. Even though he has none. It's because I don't feel like... He did a video. His video idea was wake up for 30 days at 5am thinking it's like some groundbreaking thing.

What time do you wake up at 5am, Paul? What time do you wake up at 5am, Paul? I'd say 5am. I'd say I'd probably spill out and get emotional when drunk because this is not safe. You get annoying when you're drunk. While sober, these aren't a safe pair of ears to listen to. Lewis, you were messaging me drunk when I was sober last week.

Every time I speak, it's like I've said something wrong. Because you do. That's what it feels like, Paul. He was wrong. I feel like here I'm speaking, but I'm getting told off. But then they say they want me to speak more. Oh, no, no, no. I never said that.

I think sometimes they ask me to speak more just so they can put me down. When have I ever want me to speak more so I oh no no no I never said that I think sometimes they asked me to speak more just so they can put me down when have I ever asked you to speak more and then when I recluse then

they're like see name a time I've ever asked you to speak more I'm more talking to them too and has it ever been different than

it is this afternoon the relationship and how the dynamic works you're looking at me like that. Because he asked you a question so we're waiting for you to answer. Yeah, you're meant to answer

when someone asks you a question. It's polite. No, it's normally like this, yeah. So you're used to it. Familiar. Things like have a needed piece of the jigsaw for them to shout at

and then they feel closer as a result. But like, if that's my role, you're gaslighting. So you're alright with it then? You're actually alright with it then? Just shut your fucking mouth?

What do you think of that? I think that Lewis is emotionally supported by us at all times. So do I. Why is that funny? You opened up to me this week

about loads of things. We converse as real friends all the time. Unfortunately, you need a reality check even if I was looking for a male companion

you'd be bottom of the list why? let's come on we've all got eyes haven't we let's not do that it keeps it going

when you keep going doesn't it it's easy to stop this yeah I tried to stop it ref but then when I stop talking then they say

I'm not talking enough and then when I keep talking then they say I'm not talking enough. And then when I keep talking, then they say I'm answering the question. That's the math-y part, isn't it, that you kind of like? No. I feel like you're joining in with them right now. Would it be not okay to have that attention, though?

Does it feel like you'd lose the attention? That's a really good point. I'm happy for us to put it over on Tom right now. I'm happy for that as well. You can ask me whatever you want. Paul, are you able to dive deeper into what you just said there? Like the attention thing. Are you able to explain a little bit more how you perceive with lewis there well it feels like it's a good listen in a very

straightforward way which is can i have five minutes of your time can we talk about something right it gets kind of masked or hidden by i'm gonna thump you i'm gonna say you're ugly or and how is that how can we resolve that situation you'd have to first of all think this is not the best way for us we're not achieving what we want and i'm not sure that's true because it seems to work quite effectively it's quite funny i agree but i imagine it's tiring yes and i imagine you don't go home at the end of the day feeling great no not at all but you come in the next day and do and then they ask me why am i stressed why you run down and it's like well you've got to say that with a straight face if you want me

do you not think that maybe part of the problem why you're feeling stressed all the time is actually a you problem can we can we take note of what just happened there so i agreed and elaborated on the point i said, the way they make me feel, it will... It hits you down, it hits you down, hits you down. But Theo, because that includes him into that collection, he said no. And he said, no, isn't it about you, Lewis?

Isn't it about you? So because that was a slant on Theo in some form, he sort of rewrote that narrative. I'm saying no, it's the way that they treat me. It whittles you down. So Theo, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, that's why. And I'd like to ask you a question.

Is the reason you're deflecting that and trying to put it on me because it is in some part your fault that I feel like this? No, I was just asking the question. I didn't actually, that's why. And I'd like to ask you a question. Is the reason you're deflecting that and trying to put it on me because it is in some part your fault that I feel like this? No, I was just asking a question. I didn't actually hear what you said. Oh, so you weren't listening, which you just had to go in for?

Yeah, because all I could think about was one thing at a time. I have a very bad memory. So excuses are okay for you, but they're not for others. It's like there's a different standard dynamic. Oh. I was actually just quite proud of you.

Oh, so the couple, I think the couple have reached change. He's got a gaslight in there because at first he said, I want you to answer a question, but now I put it on him. He's saying he was proud of you I think the couple everybody's changed he's got a gaslight in there because at first he said I want you to answer a question but now I put it on

and he's saying he was proud of me for opening up it doesn't feel safe it's not safe I don't feel safe it doesn't feel safe to be vulnerable

it really doesn't feel safe I've never been vulnerable how would you describe the dynamic we have

between the four of us as your professional opinion and would you say it's we have between the four of us as your professional opinion? And would you say it's healthy or toxic? Healthy or toxic? Healthy or toxic. It's slightly binary, isn't it? Do you know what that means? You like a bit of both?

Okay. No, as in like it's either one or the other. I think there's a nuance, isn't there? You connect with each other. Yeah. And it feels hard to connect with each other. So you go back into a comfort zone, which is where you fire a few grenades at each other. And. And it feels hard to connect with each other. So you go back into a comfort zone, which is where you fire a few grenades at each other.

And that gets a big reaction. And it's funny and it works. I just find it funny. But is that healthy, Paul? It depends on the culture here. It seems to work here, doesn't it? Yeah. I guess it would get very tiring.

You knocked at me there, by the way, guys. Yeah. And what happens when one of you guys, actually something difficult is going on and you want to talk to each other about a difficulty we're fairly open uh in terms of natural conversation outside of the job i would say but then again i do mediate a lot of the situations. Do you? Yeah. Do you get tired? No, no, no. I just say less than everyone else. I feel like they don't take me seriously sometimes.

You know, I'm a funny and laughing guy, except you. Actually, you know when I'm being serious. What? I'm a funny and laughing guy. No, as in like normally, you know how to take me serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Especially Lewis. Tom can be serious as well, but they, you know, they're always fun and games and actually sometimes he's putting a voice on now so if you know if we're going to be open and honest

he's putting a fucking voice on so no no no no Mr. Open and Honest stop saying it's all fun and games let's hear you proper let's hear you proper then let's open up

this is how I talk in my turtleneck no it's not I just try to open up and I get shot down no no no Victor he's so bad there's a no no Victor I'm hitting you

with the same sword that you hit me see what I mean that's the Evan flow that happens here talk properly talk properly and start again

not just me you actually really enjoy why we talk to each other I don't mind it they work on the same team though don't they yeah very much so

so really the key to their relationship is actually Theo is it part of it yeah really

well he can unite you two yeah you join forces immediately whoever either of them I tried opening up and I just got shut down you put the voice on

be serious you weren't serious you put the voice on deep side I'll put a voice on and you said no let's be serious be serious

Reeves is funny to go at because he just he doesn't bite he bites the most but then I'll get more pleasure from saying things to him this is back to

say to me yeah it fills me up because he acts it's my get back of him making me do stupid things all the time

and I have no real say in it so it's basically that's my get back whereas Dio me do stupid things all the time and I have no real say in it. So it's basically, that's my get back. Whereas Dio is only funny to do because he nibbles quite easily. That's all I am to do.

Dio, open up. I'm just a nibbler. That's all I am. It's quite honest, Lewis, wasn't it? Yeah.

He feels frustrated. That was honest. He's often put in a position where he has to do things that he's not really on board with, doesn't really like. But that is also my job.

So it is what it is. Man does job a bit. It's the legitimate chance to get back at you. This gives him the chance to get back at he's not really on board with, doesn't really like. But that is also my job. It is what it is. Man does job a bit. It's a legitimate chance to get back at you. This gives him a chance to get back at you. A bit like yesterday when he made me

walk down Wembley Way and was actively blackmailing me by saying, if you don't do this, I'm going to shout, Tom Garrett's here whilst we're getting

mobbed by thousands of kids. See, it's okay for him to do that. Paul, is that not funny? I also think

that is funny, but I also think it's funny to call you an ugly worm sometimes. Who's at fault for going around in circles? Yeah, you. But maybe that's all you can do. They're just forever in a circle. You brought me in, I think, to think, is it possible to break out the circle?

I'm not sure you really want to break out the circle, do you? Yeah, you don't. Well, if the alternative's like talking about me feelings and that. Let's go back in the circle circle is that not all here to do you know if we were on waffling we'd be able to talk

about feelings oh shameless plug you're embarrassing for saying that we'd be able to open up he stopped being his best friend's mate betrayed him

for KSI and then he went back to him isn't that horses for courses like you may that may be your personality and you and Joe's personality where you like to open up and talk and then he went back to him and said bye. Isn't that horses for courses? Like, you may,

that may be your personality and you and Joe's personality where you like to open up and talk. We don't. That doesn't mean we're less than you or not as good as you because he thought it'd be funny to try and embarrass me.

I thought it'd be funny. You don't think we should utilize Paul's expertise here? Not really because we're not married. I find it interesting how you brought him on and thought you wouldn't

get interrogated as one of the two people in the couple. So you agree we're a couple? Sorry. Is there anything you'd like to delve a little bit deeper in between these two? No. I think it's...

I know my limits. We broke him. He's never working again. Thank you, Paul. I feel like solving what we've got going on here. You helped me recognise my limits. Lovely soft hands, you see. Would you shake my hand?

No. Shake my hand. No, they're disgusting. Paul, are they not disgusting, be honest? Right, I'm going to put... See? Thank you, Paul. You're welcome.

And let us know about what you think about our therapy session why is he so hairy because you've got hairy legs but you got a shaved top not the meaning it wasn't really therapy though was it no it was counseling yeah therapy yeah no i agree it was kind of like that's what was far as couple counseling yeah you should have got an intervention you should have got a therapist in the only thing I could surprise someone with

a therapist that's like a bit I'd have enjoyed it I would have been like yeah ask me what you want yeah I don't think Tom would enjoy that

alright I'm Mr. Vulnerable you know again but I don't think the therapist would have targeted Tom that much I think he would have delved deeper into you

because you clearly had more issues there. Yeah. As you said, Tom actually, there's less to talk about, but what he did... I don't know why the impression that he opened up at some point. He said the same thing that he always did.

The worm thing was a bit frustrating, but when he actually did open up, he was talking truth, whereas I don't think you did. Also, I like the circle. Also, I think Tom is actually quite a very... Simplistic. No, no, the opposite.

Very sophisticated and distinguished and deep person, but he understands the boundaries between fans and real people. Like, he's a very open... Yeah, he's a very open and honest person when it's not on a public forum and it's just one-to-one. I agree. Damn, so maybe we take this after hours. You're making it

weird again. Right. I wish you could go serious, man. I was serious. Whenever I said stuff, you just shouted.

I don't know what you actually expect me to say because like the reality is I don't care. So you want me to like break through. But you do care.

No, this is what you're confused with. You want me to start saying I care. You do care. That's why you're confused with you want me to start saying I care you do care that's why you mess with us all the time about stuff you care about

listen Lewis this is the real therapist unfortunately we wanted emotional development from you and we didn't get it yeah

we're gonna have to hold that but you might get it in gas gobbles that dick are we ready yeah boy I love how we've...

You know your This Week on the Internet thing? Yeah, it's been... Can't straight away, guys. People hate it. Really? They were like, what the fuck is this?

Why is it here? It wasn't like just a lot of people. However, Gazgobbles though, greatest thing to ever be invented. Why? People didn't like the... I don't know if it was...

You sat there laughing at things and like trying to explain why they're funny. You obviously don't have a sense of humour because I had loads of them this week yeah but imagine this is really funny

watch it well you that's what you asked me to do I was asked to film funny videos that I watch on a weekly basis

so you do whatever Lewis said jump off a cliff would you jump off a cliff I probably have to ah interesting is that Paul

interesting I don't know might as well just kept Paul for this this week's topic I honestly can't remember if I've done this topic

but if I have we're tuning it up by the way it's history so far we've done what history and planes okay

did we do sport no we did we did oh yeah sport and playing yes yeah this week's um thing sport and planes animals oh we did we did two out of three animals but that was history wasn't it that's pretty smart would you like the headlines yes yes please headline number Headlines. Yes. Yes, please. Headline number one. Parrot exposes cheating husband. Could be realistic. Yeah.

It's like the Thailand parrot I discovered. Oh, no. Hang on. Scientists trying to bring back the woolly mammoth create a woolly mouse. Hmm. a cheeto shaped like the beloved pokemon charizard is auctioned for 87 000 why do i feel like that's true that seems so legit sorry that seems really legit the last one i saw does the mouse one i think because like you always do shit in mice first i I don't know. I don't. Yeah. But think about what it implies. A woolly mouse.

Yeah. It's hairy. It's got tooths. No, it's just hairy. Yeah. They wouldn't call it a woolly mouse. It's just a mouse. No, you call it a woolly mouse.

Wait, so I know scientists obviously trying to like bring back dead animals, like extinct animals and stuff. But with the woolly mouse, would you, is that because they do a lot of testing on mice, right? So they would try. Yeah. You think they would do that? Into a mouse. with the woolly mouth would you is that because they do a lot of testing on mice right so they were trying yeah you think they would do that into a mouse so maybe it was like a genetic mutation in the mouse yeah they just called it that you know i mean they could just call it that i think that makes so much sense yeah but i don't understand what you're applying so that could be true scientifically you're implying that they would stress test put in uh the genetic code of a woolly mammoth into an elephant

prior to that they'd use a mouse. Yeah, that seems so ludicrous. They would use a mouse first, of course. No, because it's not even the same genus in the animal kingdom. Yeah, but they do all the testing on mice. Yeah, but not to recreate another species. I think they would. You're not going to start on elephant, are you?

They're not going to start on elephant. They do everything on mice first. But then that's a pointless test originally, isn't it? No, you see if the genetics stick, see if it's woolly. Yeah. But also, you've got to remember, though... Do you know how crazy that actually sounds when you say that out loud? Do you know how... He's not clever at all.

Also, it's the headline, right? The headline. It's a woolly mouse. What's so crazy? It's hairy, a mouse, unusual. The scientists might not have called it that, but the newspaper might have called it that. Explain more's a woolly mouse. What's so crazy? It's hairy, a mouse, unusual. The scientists might not have called it that, but the newspaper

might have called it that. Explain more about the woolly mouse. I've just been reading it and it doesn't really like, it's weird. I don't actually get what they did.

Just read it. They wouldn't test, they wouldn't test. Just read it to us. Bringing back the woolly mammoth on mice. Yes, they were not going to start on elephant,

are they? No, but that's not the kind of test that you'd run anyway. So what would they do? How do they get to elephant? It's saying they invoked plans in 2021 to revive the woolly mammoth and later the dodo bird. And then the biotech company has since focused on the key traits of extinct animals

with the goal of genetically engineering them into living animals. And then it's like it just basically explains what what they would what they want to do he doesn't actually say what they did but then a mouse apparently started getting long thick woolly hair yeah and then also got started to get the same metabolism as a woolly mammoth see that's entirely possible you you think a mouse has the same metabolism as a giant elephant-sized creature. If it's got its genes in, yeah. It might be so simple.

He can't wear jeans. He's got four legs. They wanted to see if they could even combine the DNA. So they had so many mice that they had so many mice that they could go through mice, mice, mice, mice, mice.

And one of them just grew long hair. He always shaked his hair as he's like, these idiots. I know we're going to be right. Scientifically, that just doesn't make sense. As a man who loves science. Why do they test fucking makeup? Why do they test makeup on mice?

They're not going to wear it, are they? They don't test makeup on mice. A mice foreground with like, plush hair. They test cosmetics on animals to see how it would translate to humans. They don't fucking input the genes of some extinct creature. So how do they do that?

They're going to start with an elephant, are they, in your mind? They'd have to start with something that is a direct descendant of mammoth. They're not allowed, though, because of rules. They're not allowed. You can't.

You might just kill an elephant, mate. You can't just kill an elephant. What are they testing, then? What are they testing? See if the mammoth genes stick. Is it woolly? See if the mammoth genes stick in a mouse. No, just see if they can combine it into it.

Inject it and go, fucking hell, hope he becomes like nine foot tall. No, he's woolly. He's just hairy. It's not about creating a woolly mammoth. He also grew tusks as well. It's not about creating the woolly mammoth through mice.

It's just seeing if, can they implement a different animal's DNA into another animal's DNA? To achieve what? A woolly mouse? It's a start. You have to start. No, no, no, no, no.

Think about what the end point is. A woolly mouse? Oh, no, man. To climb a set of stairs to get to the top, you have to take the first step. Logically, this makes no sense to me, though. I know. I think it does. It makes a lot of sense to me.

By the way, I'm going to get that printed. By the way, I think it's quite easy. I think the cheat or one easily happens because I'm sure that these do that Americans are weird woolly mouse is easy so it has to be the third for process of elimination which

is what first one he said that's on was it wait what I don't remember the other parrot revealed the cheater that could also be true though because I've no I think he's

playing on that I think he's trying to get you on the parrot stuff because you love my you believe yeah and you believe the parrot stuff who exposed the doorman for saying welcome.

So now he's trying to get you with that because you knew a parrot who did that. Well, no, let's just get the backstory of the article first. You also said that the last parrot story. Tom, where's the parrot? I genuinely think logically the second one is so far and away. It's so obvious, Tom. Kuwait. Kuwait.

In Kuwait. You know Kuwait very well, don't you? He blew the whistle on a cheating husband by repeatedly squawking a woman's name that wasn't his wife's. Because he kept shouting. In an eerily similar tone, which is obviously what they do.

Sandra. Sandra. So obviously suspiciously, she confronted the husband who denied everything until the bird just continued mimicking his voice, repeating phrases.

If you're going to sneak a bird into your flat, yeah, sneak a woman into your flat, why would you own a parrot that repeats things? What an idiot. I don't believe it. I think that's silly. I think the Cheetor Charizard,

you'd spend money on that because they'd never go out and do it. Men are definitely smart on that. There's no way they'd do that. Also, if he did put in a suggestion to ChachiPT about an animal, Charizard's not an animal, so that's a real article in my opinion.

Yeah, I agree. That would be illogical from you. It wouldn't come up with a pokemon because pokemon's not real our argument comes down to the woolly mouse and you're kind of outnumbered a bit yeah but lewis i don't understand the logic behind why they would test the genetics or like if they manage to rescue the genetics of a woolly mammoth on a mouse listen here buddy listen here buddy it's one of them ones where me and Lou have explained the science to you.

And you don't understand. And you don't understand it. You have it. You've explained it in no way once. We just frankly above like his IQ level, unfortunately.

And frankly, we've already agreed that Louis clearly has the most power here. Yeah. And I think you and I, we're going to go with A, aren't we? Your IQ's not there, buddy.

Yeah. Better luck next time, pal. Tom, we're going with A. Definitely. we your IQ's not there buddy yeah better luck next time pal Tom we're going with A yeah definitely yeah fake that's the fake one sorry the woolly man

the woolly man was the fake one you two are fucking idiots man that's so embarrassing are you sure yes do you see what I have to put up with you didn't really make a key as far as in the hits, man. That's so embarrassing. Are you sure? Yes.

Do you see what I have to put up with? You didn't really make a case for it. I did make a case saying that it scientifically makes no sense whatsoever. You two are fucking

on one side of the ground. Every other week that we've done this since we've been winning, we've come up with logical reasons. You can't hit a drive 14 miles in golf.

All right? Pilot can't eject from a plane. Got those both right. We've just fucked up. Logically, a mouse... No, there's no logic there. Lewis, there's no logic there. Give me any scientific reason

as to why they take the DNA that is rescued from an extinct creature and go, fucking hell, this would be great if we put it in a mouse. That's where you start. No, you don't. No, you don't.

You put it in a creature that's the descendant from. No, you don't. No, you don't. You put it in a creature that's the descendant from the original animal. You can't just kill an elephant, mate. Which is why it doesn't exist either. Which is why it's never coming back. How are you ever going to make a woolly mammoth if you don't make a woolly mouse?

We're not going to. We're not going to reintroduce the woolly mammoth to society or species, mate. How would you know? How would you know? Because it's fucking difficult. It is easy.

Go on then. Reeve, I don't want to embarrass you here, but I'm going to embarrass you. Go on then. As a first step, scientists have created woolly mice. With some mammoth-like traits. They did thick, hairy coats to test the feasibility of genetic modification. You've got him, haven't you?

What, no. You're a liar, aren't you? Yeah. They thought woolly mice exist. They started to know it before the Asian elephant. Oh, maybe it gave me a real story then.

Yeah, it's real. It's real. And then they went on to, and then they go on to Asian elephants afterwards, but they start with woolly mice why would they start with mice oh this is

if I see a picture of a mouse here you'll have to I know where I've gone wrong I usually ask for a fake news story and I've asked give me a bizarre news story about an animal and it's giving me a real one so they're all real

but you were wrong so even though they're all real? So they're all real? But you were wrong. So even though they were all real, you're wrong. Oh my God, I've got a picture of the woolly mouse. Oh no,

you argued so against it as well. That's it. There's nothing there, you idiot. Damn. Reeve's been cooked. It's gone.

Right, are you going to apologise? No, show me the picture. Apologise going to apologise? No, show me the picture. Apologise. I will apologise once you show me the picture. That isn't a woolly mouse. Fucking hell, really. That's just a slightly hairier mouse.

You're shouting at us saying there's no scientific reason and... Why would they start with mice? Because you can't kill an elephant. That's a woolly mice, right there. But they haven't killed the mouse. Right there. Fucking hell, as if it's... That's actually it.

That's a genuine... Yeah, there you go. go woolly mouse is that woolly they're short head mice are short head that's a woolly mice right no no it's long-haired mice did we win there no they're not but we can't have this i think no one gets it but that's my own fault no i can't get a pint for that i think we just call that, that's a mice compared to a woolly mice. That doesn't look that different. What? No, yeah, look, you do get woolly mice.

That's not the one we're showing you, though. No, you said they don't exist. All that's happened there is that you and I, once again... He was shouting at us. He was shouting. You're getting angry.

Very angry. I wish Paul was here. I wish Paul was here, actually. Yeah, Paul would have some words to say about that. You actually think you're smarter than me and Lou. I do, yeah.

So you got angry. You got angry and... You got angry at us. You got angry and you've just been made to look like a fool. No, the... Paul, come on, man. You were allowed to pick A. I let you pick A.

No, you screamed at us. Sorry for blessing us with your permission to pick A. You were allowed to pick A. I let you pick A. No, you screamed at us. Sorry for blessing us with your permission to pick A. You were allowed to pick A. I let you pick A. Well, you win again anyway. No, no, no. The point goes to me and Lou.

Oh, so you're not a team anymore. That's not fair. Me and George worked out the plain one when you were on the fucking wrong answer as well. That's true. How can you say that? You can't now start doing that. That is gaslighting.

No, down the head loss. Right, can I talk to you about the cat phone? Go on. Yeah. Time for... Can you do your intro? Oh, uh... We've actually done fact versus fact today, by the way.

Lewis has got a fact. Lewis has got a fact. It's probably going to be bullshit. It's probably going to be about aliens. Lewis has got a fact. Then Riveos wasn't interjected, but you know, he's... Look at him. No, that's the the full thing he's angry because you're

clearly cleverer than him yeah sorry yeah get your knowledge um okay and i'll start by educating you with this the cat's phone so it's 1929 fucking hell he's gotta die a time for magnificent science advancement and researchers at princeton Uni were on some groundbreaking stuff. So essentially, they were looking into how the auditory nerve perceives sound. Okay. And what they did was they tested it on a cat. And they stuck a wire in one of its ears. And they stuck a wire in the other one of its ears.

So headphones. And then they start speaking into one ear through the wire. Like a cup. And then they start like speaking into like one ear through the wire, like a cup, and then seeing if it could pass through the nerve through to the other cup phone. What?

So they had wires connecting and they were speaking in phones, blah, blah, blah. Oh, as in like, but how would they know that it came through the other side? Because you have another phone out the other wire.

So I'm like, ring me, hello? And this one's over there, hello? So it's just basically like the cup. Wait, so you're saying... Yeah, through and middle of a cat's head. Surely, like there's one here and one here. No, it's a wire that comes out

and this one's got a phone over there and it comes out and someone's got a phone over there. Why would that not work? Imagine a bit of string, a really long bit of string, 100 metres apart, the guy at the end with a phone on the same string

and the other guy at the end of the phone on the string, right? And there's a cat in the middle and the string is going through its head. What is the point of that though? It went through its head. No, no, no.

Yeah, because like the nerves were playing along the... No, it's two separate strings. One's in that ear, one's in that ear. Does that make sense? Got you. Yep.

So anyways, what would be the point of that? Believe it or not, just have a whole, just have a wire. Just see if the cat's head can send sound waves. Why are we checking that?

It's an important discovery. Is it? 1929, man, the discovery and shit. I said you're really cruel. So they started speaking on one side and long behold, they could hear each other

through the phone. So they were, I didn't, Sorry, I'm not, I'm not impressed by this. I think like, What are they getting out of it? The jury's out as if like,

I don't know if the cat could hear the conversation as well. Oh, shh. What the fuck? Well, he doesn't understand English, does he? Well, he could hear it, he just wouldn't be able to hear it. No, I don't know if the cat could hear the conversation as well oh shh what the fuck well he doesn't understand English does he well he could hear it he just wouldn't be able to no I don't know

because it's just going through so I don't know if like the cat was and I don't know if like of course he'd hear it I don't know if like if the cat when he goes meow

like they were getting some feedback in the head shut up you dickhead carry on that's not even a crazy thing to say you are crazy it's like he's on the line

it's like if we're on the phone and then if the other people call yeah you've taken me that far haven far and you just read the well it is the same thing so like if the cat meows that's going to vibrate through its skull and it'll be on the line still that's not even mad that's real um that's beast mode so this cat lived the rest of his life as a mobile phone that's so cruel and believe it or not, it actually did make a big significant impact to humanity because this was groundbreaking and it led to the development of cochlear implants. Ah, right.

So hearing aids and stuff was done through cat phones. So does it only work while the cat's alive? It's just knocking it... Well, they didn't kill the cat to find out. No, no, but I'm saying it's just stuck there until death. Well, most of the main part was the cat survived, working as an animal and phone which or what uh quick question sorry you know you know the cat lived as a phone for his life you know the two people speaking to each other why didn't they just like walk 10 minutes to talk to each other i think well they're just doing

research and i but it's interesting that he was asking if it would work in a dead cat because um they wondered like the same thing and after this cat like Percy did amazing things for humanity like helping develop the like hearing aids they killed it

to try and use it on a dead cat and it didn't work. So they got another real life cat. So that's the dirty backstory of the hearing aids

that kill the cat. About the dirty pussy. But why would you kill it? There's a cat that give you hearing aids and you kill it just to say like oh I. But why would you kill it? Does the cat give you hearing aids and you kill it just to say, like, oh, I wonder if it works if it's dead and just kill it?

It's my fault. I mean, yeah, if they're testing the science behind it originally. I think that's quite a good fact. That's how the hearing aid came across. You could say that was an accidental invention,

couldn't you? Well, they were onto something. Well, finally you said that because my fact had gone down a similar route. What about pussy? That's not very nice.

Why? It's a pussy cat. You look cool. Thank you. Little abs from five. Me too. What was your cat called? Percy?

Yeah. This is also about a guy called Percy. So it's not about a cat then? So, Percy. We've got a man, my man called Percy, right not percy from thomas

the tank or percy pick no he was a he was a scientist and uh he was looking at like inventing shit and um one day he was experimenting with magnetrons which are basically vacuum tubes that generate microwave radiation using like radar systems and one day while standing near an active radar set he felt something warm in his pocket it was cum he reached in and found brown

soggy poo cum chocolate chocolate has melted in his pocket he's like this is very interesting it wasn't chocolate though was it well funny you say that Tom

it was brown spunk that had been up his arse funny you say that instead of brushing the chocolate off he got bit he got curious oh

yeah so what did he do licked it he put some popcorn kernels near it it's very strange wow wow

that's the go to isn't it yeah and then what happened he put the popcorn in his pocket popcorn kernels near it. What? That's the go-to, isn't it? Yeah, and then what happened? He put the popcorn in his pocket. No way. Oh wait, so he

didn't even eat the chocolate? It starts popping. They would not be hot enough to do that. It's next to a radar thing, mate. What?

You said he was just, what are you on about? It's next to his radar set. No, it wouldn't pop. You heard that.

Radiation. That's so hot. Don't ruin the story. Well, you want to zip it, son. Then, so he's got... Now he's got popcorn and chocolate in his pocket. What does he do then? Puts an egg in his pocket.

Oh, fuck off, mate. Yeah. And what does it do? Boils the egg. Boils it. Poaches it. It exploded. It just blew up.

Oh. What happened? I don't know sorry so you can put you can put an egg in boiling water boiling and it won't explode

but in his pocket it will yeah so now he's got an exploded egg went all over his is he eating the chocolate or not

it went all over his colleague's face from his pocket what in his pocket it exploded mate how did it go out of his colleague's face

how did it go out of his pocket over his face oh gosh like the egg seeped out of there. Sorry, this is not ladding up to me. It exploded in his colleague's face. Anyway.

You mean he just threw it at his colleague? What he realised was these, like, microwave, microwaves and radiation. He was like, fucking hell, are these, like, are these, like, cooking my food in my pocket? So then he got a cow. put a cow in his pocket, and it come out with a fucking ribeye steak. So then spent the next two years from 1945 to 1947 building this huge six-foot tall, 750-pound device that cost over five grand, so it's $60,000 in today's market. During the war, yeah.

To build this giant microwave oven. So a microwave. And it was mainly used in restaurants and military settings to obviously heat stuff up. And then in 1962, 67, a company called

Amana used his design and created the first countertop microwave. Since then the microwave

has become a staple in everyone's kitchen and lets us reheat pizza and make cupcakes in the mug at 2am. And it's all because some bloke's chocolate

melted in his pocket. Wow. I think that's better and that is the microwave is the single most used item in a kitchen what about a knife and fork

is it like an appliance oh I see not like the sink or anything obviously job or bosses but cash form

I told you how the microwave was invented he ran a witch and it involved a cash form I don't believe a lot of that story it's true if I'm being honest

google it who's your bot why are you crying wait he's originally stood next to a radar system yeah for

I don't need to explain it again to you no no no I'm just working out which is a better fact right let's do it and wrap up discovering the microwave

from melted chocolate I'll go what the fuck? I had a cat phone. But yours isn't like that. For hearing aids. You're not surprised someone turned a cat into a phone

and invented the hearing aid. What more can I... You just had a guy who worked near a radar. Yeah, I use the microwave more than a hearing aid, so I'm going to go with that one. I'm going to go.

Even though I doubt a part of the story, I'm going to go with yours. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go with mine as well doubt a part of the story, I'm going to go with Theodore's. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to go with mine as well. Thanks for all 50,000 subscribers. Please subscribe,

like, rate five stars. Not bad. See you, Paul. Thanks, Paul. You made it to the end. Well done, you. If you haven't already

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