Back Side - How Money Changed Us, We Made A HUGE Mistake & Scientists Create a Humanzee!

Episode Date: December 12, 2024

The lads reflect on the making of their sexy calendar, Lewis talks about how he is now living the high life, and we hear the terrifying true story of the Humanzee.Produced by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:Worm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Fish! I look like Ryan Guffman. Yeah, we get it.

The police, their pants and then they turned up. He! Oh! What if I was? I'm in love with him! Tom's in a terrible mood today. Yeah. Let's address it.

But also, I know why he's in a bad mood. I'm actually not in that bad of a mood. I'm just ill. Let's undress him. Come on. You're ill. That's why you're in a bad mood. Yeah, when are we getting a fish then?

Can we actually establish this properly? What do you mean? Also, I saw a lot of comments about last week the fish I saw a lot of comments about last week saying they also themselves like I did when we thought we thought it was made of glass Yeah for the come on. Oh, come on. Why would you kill the fish the imaginary fish that we have living in there fish burn fish burn come on let's go for the pod now man you're a bit of a cooly guy started it i've got a bit of a cold that's all what kind of ill person are you arthur did it well he didn't mean to do it i bought it

mainstream though oh yeah sure man come on trying trying to claim Arthur's I'm trying to claim Arthur's phrase I made it I turned it into a catchphrase no Arthur kept doing it but he didn't realise he was doing it

then I noticed that he was doing it so I started mocking him doing it and now everyone can't get it out of their head come on I've seen a comment

saying every funny joke Theo says and he's already heard on Waffling and he's just repeated it here it's just such a bad show

that's why just conspiracy theory it's so much better than the weenie it's crazy how badly Waffling

lives rent free in your head every time he gets really on it I've just seen a comment you're the only

one that brings it up around this table I've just seen a comment we don't really care I'm a big fan

no one cares about it except you we know he prefers those guys so it's okay you do bring

it up a lot. Don't fart. He bites a lot and he's like, why is this all rent-free in your head? He's not biting at his own bite. Yeah, you're biting, mate. These are going to stink, by the way. I had a curry yesterday, probably gel free.

A curry? What's a curry? Gel free. It's fucking bad. Can we address the elephant in the room, guys? Oh, that's rude. You can't call him that. Lewis Bowden has officially let fame and money gone to his head.

Have I? Yep. How? Well, every day you tell us how all you've been doing for that previous day was shopping. I've never heard that. How much did he spend in Uniqlo? I spent a lot of money in Uniqlo.

Well, not a lot to me. I'm going to claim facilitators that, by the way. I told you to buy loads of clothes. Yeah, Reeve money in Uniqlo. Well, no, no. Not a lot to me because it was pennies to me. I'm going to claim facilitators that, by the way. I told you to buy loads of clothes. Yeah, Reeve also discovered Uniqlo. Basically, essentially, I always get rinsed for not looking very good

and my defence is I'm not trying to look good. But the biggest problem I have recently is like I never have stuff washed and then like everything's mix-mashing so I've just threw everything out

and I've just got plain t-shirts. Yeah, it's like Justin Bieber. He's a Uniqlo. You hear that plenty yeah he's Justin Bieber instead of washing his clothes he just chucks them and buys new in the bulge yeah washing clothes Lewis Bowden chucks them and buys new ones don't even give him charity he's chucks them and buys new clothes I have been the charity of used to for ages. I am the charity. Yeah are you a vinted or a depop guy? Fuck that I'd rather bid that I've given to him to charity now. I am the charity. Yeah, are you a Vinted or a Depop guy?

Fuck that, I'd rather be this. I've actually, oh, accidentally, oh, this is the annoying thing. So I went to that gala thing

the other day. You're too good for money now as well. I went to a nice gala where I had to wear like bow ties and that. So I ordered all the clothes like to the hotel because I had now.

Sorry? You ordered new clothes to a hotel? Well, I had to, I didn't have a bow tie or a fucking shirt how does that even work

how does it work so just order it there and then mate I thought only celebrities do that who takes the delivery Elliot told me to do it but I accidentally

ordered it to our old office and then so like and I've not went I'm so this is the thing I'm so by returns I've not went back

and it's just sat there and it's probably like 90 quid at my office yeah can you pick it up For me please So you're just gonna leave Yeah I just

Cause for me That 90 pound Is like Kind of like I'll have to just chalk it up To a loss of me Being an idiot And not being asked

To go all the way there But you don't care About 90 quid Yeah your time's worth More than 90 quid Is that what you're saying You've got too much money bro Yeah and also

Just like the time And also just the inconvenience What is the What is the minimum threshold now for you to it would take you like 10 minute walk to get there

I've been like that even when I was poor that's a genuine question woah woah woah woah woah woah hang on no no no you were not here

we just met I've been like that even when I was poor I'm already rich for like a month or more now and then I'm gonna be poor again we're Christians

around the corner mate so unfortunately everyone loses a lot. What did you wear to this gala if your clothes were at the other office? I had to go,

when I got there, to the fucking shop and then buy more. Like, next? I'm not that fucking rich. But yeah. Next is pretty expensive. Next suits are pretty expensive.

Yeah, they are. I have a next suit, actually. How much do you reckon half an hour of your time's worth? It doesn't fit me anymore. I think half an hour of my time, if you were to say, I think it's worth like £100.

Do you want a job? Also, you need to sort your fucking life out, Rave. What? Why do you keep doing that? Oh, they're only on the other way around.

I hate it. My mum... I hate it. You've got a right sock on your lap. No, but if I put them like that, they look normal to you. No, oh, it's really... Oh, that's awful. How do you wake up in the morning and think it You've got a right sock on your left No but if I put them like that They look normal to you No oh it's really

Oh that's awful How do you wake up in the morning And think it's acceptable To put a sock with the letter R On it on your left foot Because I get on with my day Immediately I don't get Yeah

But the sock isn't designed It's designed Oh My mum asked me to ask you To actually stop taking your shoes off Because she doesn't like it It's a bit rude Take my socks off as well

If you're watching No free No free No free feet deals That was awful When are we going to do it's a bit rude I'll take my socks off as well if you're watching no free no free no free fee deals that was awful when are we going to do our backside

YouTube awards of the year what oh that's a good idea Theo we haven't had a year of backside we'll do it

we'll do it on the Christmas the Christmas special where we're drinking aren't we Reeve yep people have been wanting to drink in Epsil Fridges it's Christmas when is that Lou Dog I where we're drinking, aren't we, Reeve? Yeah. People have been wanting to drink in Epsil for ages.

It's Christmas. When is that, Lou Dog? I think we're recording it next week. Well, I'm not here next week. Oh, it'll be the week after that. What, Christmas? I'm in another country.

Yeah. Yeah, I think we should do like YouTube video of the year. Yeah. Can I just say now we got a really good, I feel like I've cooked up a great idea

for our Christmas special never before seen on YouTube. What's it? It's just all four of us drinking no no but there's a there's a bed added unique thing in it which i told you as well so stay tuned for that when christmas comes around in the podcast doing a new video okay it's called pub golf christmas edition one of my favorite pub golf moments is when you're in the wheelchair after your hip thing and the old lever man is just rolling down in the fucking...

I wasn't actually in the wheelchair because of my hip. That's a skit. Was it? It was still funny. It was still funny. I still find it funny. I think Harry...

Did you see the bit when Harry pushed Chip down the stairs in the wheelchair? No. It didn't go well for Chip. Did he hurt himself? He broke his arm. Oh, shit. Oh, that was in the wheelchair no it didn't go well for chip did he hurt himself broke his arm oh shit oh the end of it wasn't it oh yeah funny like uh we did make something recently though didn't we yeah we did it was actually my favorite day of the year i've thoroughly enjoyed it what are you talking about the calendar the calendar is out get your backside calendar right now have we decided whether it's going to charity or to backside well the people

watching this will know it hasn't got we have to decide the charity specifics but yeah charity man it's all for charities it's Christmas BSPH

what that's a cherry that's not hygiene oh that's very specific did you enjoy the day of the calendar shoot not particularly it was so much better than I thought it was going to be I thought you were going to do something really horrendous to us and we'd have to do Oh. That's very specific. Did you enjoy the day of the calendar shoot?

Not particularly. It was so much better than I thought it was going to be. I thought you were going to do something really horrendous to us and we'd have to do something horrendous. My eyes lit up when I knew.

We should say, yeah. We should say that genuinely on the vlog. I know it's like YouTube's things normally fake but you genuinely didn't have a clue what we were doing.

No, we didn't know what was going on. And I honestly, before and I can say- It was very weird you insisted on making yourself naked considering we said

we wanted to give you they've seen the video they saw you force me considering we wanted to donate you to a children's charity and you wanted to get naked on a fucking calendar

that is weird I was nervous we had to force you to keep the helmet there it's not true you've told me to do the I haven't seen the edit so you've obviously

edited it to make it look like you did it I've seen the edit and let me just tell you it make it look like you did it I've seen the edit and let me just say it's out I've actually done notes for you guys what's out

you done notes on the video no I'm too busy I give him a chance so basically I've watched it I sent the note if you listen to this so for the pitch side vlogs

and back side vlogs I'll send the frame link only to Theo because Theo's the only one who leaves notes and Reeve was like oh what when he found out

so I sent it to him and I was like here's a chance for redemption zero notes you sent it at a point when I was making sure my video was to be prepped to be uploaded

and Misfits was on at the same time it's still like three days later right now you have had three days what what are you talking about you've had three days

of not giving time I wake up early to do honestly I did the voiceover and frame notes at 7.30 in the morning. Oh.

Guess what, Lou? We care about this shit. But this is a fine though. No, because you're good at leaving notes, I can always get you for a voiceover and you're just a good guy.

You never send it, mate, so. I don't know. I don't think Tom would know how to work a computer, to be honest. I don't even have one. What? No, no,

if I give it to Tom it'll be like I don't care I found out you know how AB edits his videos on his phone on his phone yeah

yeah that's mental he doesn't own a laptop he's used to doing it on his phone isn't he that's crazy I don't need one how do you do like

booking flights and that phone that's a laptop job well a phone's just a mini computer anyway? Phone. That's a laptop job. Well, a phone's just a mini computer anyway now. Yeah, but flights is a laptop job. What, SkyScanner? It's easy.

How do you book hotels? You get to book four of these. Go on booking.com. Go on booking.com. It's not hard, mate. Most people book things on the phone. Yeah, but surely you're at the age where certain things must be done on a laptop. Like what? Spending too much money on your phone is not allowed is it what does that mean like i have

to book flights if it's a big expensive flight i went to thailand i have to book on my laptop i don't why i don't you got apple pen your phone yeah yeah but surely like what come on maybe you're a boomer bro yeah yeah am i the farmer yeah I don't book big expensive flights. I don't really go anywhere that far. Hmm. Why don't you get flying to Vegas? I'm not going anywhere. That was paid anyway. Did your visa get rejected?

No, I just can't get an interviewing time for it. You've got to do an interview. No, it's happened before. No, it's not that. You've just got to go down to the embassy. Is that why you're sure you don't like the national anthem and that? No, I just have to show them that the case got dropped and you show you know like the national anthem and that no I just have to show them that the case got

dropped and then my visa would be fine oh you drop them you could just show them your highlight reel as well of what football

the Tom Caron highlight reel guys trust me look this is what I did in America America that's how you know I'm American

and if they say have you seen Tim America you have to say yes yeah even though that would be another lie. Yeah, I've got better things to do like sleep.

Back to the calendar. I was genuinely nervous beforehand because I thought, I don't know how yous were going to take it. I didn't know if I was going to catch yous on a sassy day. Lewis. You mean Theo? Sorry, I'm the most willing to do anything on camera

you just need the problem is like you always go through phases where one of you really doesn't want to do something the problem is if I strike a deal where there's three of you

at the same time you don't want to do it why do you have to like we're all you're worse than us huh I'm on the range isn't it I'm not

I'm not I obviously want to do it by the way guys I've watched the footage back and let me tell you this the in between this thing at the end he does not come across well

yeah oh no yeah Yeah, but I Is that because of his accent or not he even cut himself throwing a hissy fit out in the Amsterdam vlog as well I was actually editing is this one where I kept it in and the Amsterdam one. I didn't add that. Yeah. And who cut it out? The person who works below you. I didn't. I did not.

I didn't call that out. I actually made myself look like a dick in this video. Like you just said, I made it look like that. No, you didn't. I made it look worse. There was no music. There was no funny music underneath. It was just raw me being in a mood.

So there is a segment. To be fair to Lou, he's done a very good job. And it's very funny. I did very good content. I made my return to Edison, guys. My favourite part of the film

was the Ken scene. Why is that your favourite part? That shocks me. That's your favourite part. Because, babe, babe, babe, I wanted this moment ever since the film came out. I said, I need to,

as soon as I saw it on Lick, I said, I've got to do it. Yeah. I look like Ryan Gosling. Yeah, we get it. You're the main character. I look like Ryan Gosling. I showed it to the missus. As everyone knows. And she said to me, she said, we've got to go on. Yeah. I look like Ryan Gosling. Yeah, we get it. You're the main character. I look like Ryan Gosling. I showed it to the missus.

As everyone knows. And she said to me, she said... We've got to go on a break. She said, after the haircut you had last week, this might be the second sexiest you've ever looked. I think she was joking. She must be joking. Or she's blind.

It is like that. Haircut, and then Ken Baker. Yeah. You do look like Ryan Gosling to be fair I've met him Ryan goes missing

I looked at him he looked at me and said we did the whole Spider-Man thing it's interesting because as we record this we have no idea

how it all went down but I imagine it's two great applause I reckon we have at least five purchases of the calendar how much are we selling it for like five pound I think it's like a are we selling it for? Like £5?

I think it's like a tenner. That's way too expensive. Ten quid. You have to make it. No, because the thing is, it's not expensive. It's like you have to make it. £9.99.

It's less than a pound a month. Make it £12. And like we're not making... £11.99. It will be £10. We're trying to keep it as low as we can, but it'll be like £10 to £12. £9.99. Because the problem is when you get big calendars, like they make them in mass bulk. Obviously, we're not making keep as low as we can but it'll be like 10 to 12 9.99 because the problem is when you get

big counters like they make them in mass bulk obviously we're not making 10,000 orders obviously we need to make this in mass bulk we're going to send

10,000 if you know if you use the code Reeve you can get 20% off is that true Reeve with an E on the end no it's not true

but we should do of course we should Reeve with an E on the end to get 20% off and that's for viewers who are listening and watching to this only

we won't put it anywhere else but Reeve with an E at the end of it 20% off. And that's for viewers who are listening and watching to this only. We won't put it anywhere else, but Reeve with an E at the end of it, 20% off. Make it happen. You have to spell it correctly, otherwise you won't get the discount.

I know what I want us to do next year, because we sort of naturally did, we were talking about this, naturally did the six month Australia tour. Christmas song. Then the calendar.

Where'd you go from there? Nativity. Nativity player. No, definitely. And not only that, Tom, we're doing it with a live audience that's fine I've actually done a theater before so it's all good

and then after that we do a Christmas film the year after next thing you know we're movie stars mate we're gonna make you famous this is the five year plan think about Tom year one what do we do

song year two calendar year three nativity play feature length film year four feature length film yeah with the Avengers Hollywood superstars there's gonna be a bullet in my head by

August so I'm gonna be what's really funny about this calendar is right I know if you don't watch it go back but fucking Christmas spirit it literally the amount of work this

calendar because the Christmas video music video was literally like just me and I'm pretty that might be the worst use of our time we've ever spent yeah this not only

wasted your time in my time we had biz getting involved we had calm getting involved and we have Hannah on the merge side they all the business came together for what for this

calendar oh no I meant I meant the Christmas song last year oh last year this year's actually it seems more then find out that e17 said no you can't use our song yeah

exactly we're really releasing it yeah last year last year was like, that's the most stressful thing I've ever had to do in my life was that. You're telling me that's the thing in front of four other men?

No, like the workload around that was so fucking... Bro makes a music video and calls it work and stress. How about that time when you got caught in the brothel in Germany and you had to explain it to them?

I didn't get caught. They sadly, I mean, not sadly, closed it. It was closed. He was literally closed it. I was next in line. They're like,

right, we're shutting down. How about that time you got caught eating the dog's poo at your mum and dad's house? That's a different story from another time. Wait, what? You don't hear about that?

You don't hear about that story? Yeah, accidentally ate his dog's poo. Shut up. Yeah, I thought it was like Christmas because there was chocolate mousse like for dessert. Fuck off. Oh. Why did someone put your dog poo in a bowl? Is that that Simpsons episode? dog's poo shut up yeah I thought it was like Christmas because there was chocolate mousse like for dessert fuck off oh

well I had someone put your dog poo in a bowl so mate and the thing is like it I only had like a little spoon

but like the first bite I didn't notice on the first bite I just thought I had like a bitter bit so I went in for a second you're not noticing yeah yeah

dog shit well no what the revelation from that is dog shit doesn't taste as bad as you think oh it's just the smell, is it? It definitely tastes bad.

Yeah, it's actually quite good. It depends what they get fed with. If it's raw meat, it's usually quite good. If you feed them biscuits and dry food, the shit's horrible. You also didn't need to have sex with the dog after, did you? Well, I had to apologise to him somehow. Oh. How much is this causing?

Tom, you're going away soon. Yeah. You excited for much is this causing? Tom, you're going away soon. Yeah. Are you excited for your first ski trip? It's not my first ski trip. Oh.

Is it because you're a Tory? No, I have wanked my mate off, but I also have been skiing before. Are you, can you ski?

Are you getting lessons? I've had a few lessons. I'm capable. Are you going for the Beverly Genies? Tom. What? We're so cool. Oh my God, you're can you ski are you getting lessons I've had a few lessons I'm capable are you going for the Bebber Arginis Tom

what we're so cool oh my god you're mad that might be the most cringe thing guess what guess what

you don't have the same trainers on either oh my god yeah my brain sucks that's more cringe no yeah I'm capable now I've seen you at high

you look alright no it's like i can i can parallel ski now which is all i'm all about parallel ski me yeah so you're like instead of snow plowing you can actually move so like tom surely you need to get one of your mates to record your skin and send it back into the chat well wait we need to define when you say skiing is this like a sequel of a time about right there's such a dead banner because that we already made that are you even here you're talking about um i mean i we don't do things like that it's a bit cringe now get your mate to say record me skiing what's cringe video on each other having fun video and eat oh video me skiing just enjoy it man yeah just live

your life drink beer you have to you have to send a video in for us to critique you imagine we all live like top no because you don't want that you obviously will try yeah then you have to send i really don't care okay no can you please make a day in the life of you skiing one day let's all send one clip of us skiing into a group chat and see what people say i'll send the clip in of me skiing straight into a wall have you seen this this is a real video mate we're going you know those you know sometimes you have the the kid parks

the kids park the fun rides the little junks and you go through little things and there's a tunnel no no no there was two

wasn't there there were two tunnels yeah because I missed I was like which one do I fucking go in I didn't know which tunnel to go in

have you got the video yeah we'll put it on screen when there's a snow park what's a snow park so What's a snow park? So like, it'd be like an off-piste thing for where kids go down

and they like whack like bells and. I've never seen that. All right. What's that place called we went to? What would the group chat be called? La Plaine, was it? I can't remember. No, it's like Musselman.

Oh, I can't remember. Ski? But yeah, anyway, so there's like little tiny ramps for kids and then, you know, up and like half pipes so they can really enjoy themselves and like tight corners. And then, you know, up in like half pipes so they can really enjoy themselves in like tight corners.

And then there was this one section where it's like two tunnels, but for children. So you have to tuck in and then go right underneath it. Otherwise you hit your head on the top. But I couldn't decide which one I should have gone in.

So I went, straight into the wall in between them. Mate, it was oh, oh, oh, straight into the wall in between them. Mate, it was the, oh my God, let me find, this is the funniest thing

I've ever seen. Is it though? No joke. Is it really the funniest thing you've ever seen? At the time it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

You've got a sad, sad life. Oh. Anyway, where are you skiing? Where are you going? Um, I haven't booked it.

So, uh, France, Austria, Italy? It's right by... We're flying into Geneva. Okay. But it's France. Sure. So it might be like Val Therain or something.

No, it's not Val Therain. How far is the drive? Because we went Val Therain last time, I think. How far is the drive? Val d'Isere? No, it's not Val d'Isere. Champagny? No.

How far is the drive? You say the name, I'll know it. Tien? No. Lapland? No. I think it begins with an M. Majev? I'll know it. Tien? No. Lapland? No. I think it begins with an M. Mijev?

Oh, Maribel. Maribel. You like Maribel? Yeah. It's crazy that you know all these ski places. Well, you ski through each of them. It's really not that crazy. They're all really well connected.

They're in the Alps together. Do you think it's not crazy? It shows that you are from a privileged background. If you've been to two or three ski trips, you'll ski through a lot of the common ones why did you pull that

face originally my face you went because I said you came from Puebla

no I just saw my haircut from 2022 no when I said Mary Bell is it shit or

oh no it's like Mary Bell's good aren't they all just the same it's a pricey

place to go Tom you've got money mate it didn't cost that much no

well it's to you genuinely it was I mean no I know it's a lot when you're there you go folly douche I I mean, no, I know it's a lot when you're there.

Then you go folly douche. Folly douche. Party! I think it's cost like 700 quid for a week for accommodation, travel, everything. It's actually pretty good. Yeah, it's fine. Especially to Maribel.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how far. Last time we went, though, it took us nearly five hours to get up there. So it was traffic jams, mate. It was the worst journey of my life. Yeah, up the hills.

I don't know how far. The winding roads are horrible even before then there was a massive traffic jam it genuinely took us like we flew into France

that one what about the camping trip journey the camping trip oh no it was worse six hours late yeah that

that was different no he parked up at Nando's for three hours don't worry about that no the one I can't believe we're still not moving

the one in the one in France was worse than that because I don't worry about that no I can't believe we're still not moving the one in the one in France was worse than that because I don't know what it was really hot right we were stuck

in this minivan until you get that is so bad it was disgusting yeah my camping trip journey was pretty horrible as well actually

because I had to drive him oh being near being in a close vicinity with him is horrible because he stinks are you ready to rock big savings rackettons big give week is a festival of savings with up to 15 cash back at your favorite stores we're talking up to 15 cash

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Hurry, Big Give Week runs May 5th to May 12th, and there won't be an encore. Go to Rakuten.ca or download the Rakuten app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Rakuten.ca Yeah, that's boring. Who wants to murder mystery? Yeah. Come on, Theo, clock in.

Let's get some murder mystery going on. I enjoyed this last week. Yeah, right. So, um... Although, um... We've solved it very quickly. Well, I just listened to what he said and I was focusing on my character too much

I wasn't even allowed to be the correct character and let us know who you think the best actor is as well so go go the giggling gadget was murdered on one freezing Friday the police spunk their pants and then they turned up they all got explanations of what

everyone at the house was doing that day now everyone I want you to tell the viewers are you a character now? yeah have we got the same character? I think so are you?

what was the explanation you gave to the police? I was cooking some nice steak with some pepperoni sauce and some onions. Pepperoni sauce? Are you Theo? No, that would be them. Why are you so tall all of a sudden? I was doing it for my lovely husband. He works really hard.

So you're the wife who was just cooking dinner? Oh yeah, my beautiful husband. I was just instantly cooking dinner. So you didn't kill your husband because you were cooking dinner apparently? He's dead! Well that's a voice change. What are you on?

I didn't listen to the first bit. I didn't realise he died. Go-Go was murdered. Yeah, the whole thing. Go-Go was my wife. You're the wife? Yeah. Although I just had a husband.

I did not go. Fuck! Why would you? Yeah. Although I just had a husband. I did not go. Fuck. Why would you? It's looking at it like a rope. Yeah. That's not my character. So you're Mrs. Go-Go Gadget? Yeah.

Oh, shit. Next up. I was in the bedroom cleaning away. So the maid was dusting the bedroom, apparently. I am from Essex. And then finally, Baldy. Well, hello there, everybody. How are we doing?

Spiffing day today. No one's there. This is a murder mystery. My husband is dead. The murder on the dance floor was not me. This isn't a testimony. You're not on the stand. Who are you? Just explain who you are stand! He's asking... Who are you?

Just explain who you are. I was busy... by the pool, cleaning the pool. He's the mayor as well. No, no, no, I'm the butler. He should've just used your name. I'm the butler. Yeah, you've just been funny.

So we've got the butler who was cleaning the pool. I was asking the bedroom. The maid who was just in the bedroom and the wife who was cooking dinner. The butler's already ate the dinner! You were shagging him, weren't you? What if I was? I'm in love with him.

Gogo was my best friend. Where was he found? Found? He doesn't say where he was found. I know who did it. You say it was freezing night and he was cleaning pool, he would be frozen. It's a whole liar. You fucking fool layer It was

You fucking fraud It was so cold Well I'd have you know everybody that just because it's zero degrees outside doesn't mean the water is zero degrees you fucking dingo What what To be fair you would be cleaning You would be cleaning You were cleaning ice You'd be cleaning ice

It wasn't frozen you prick No you He said it was a freezing cold night Hey listen here- Yeah, not literally! The pool would be freezing! Okay, but- That's why they put a layer on it!

Okay, if that's the truth- No. How come in the Arctic, there's water? Are you talking about- It's correct, there's water in the Arctic! Yeah, because of the ocean warmth level- What happened to your accent?! The temperature in the ocean!

You fucking idiot, the pool is heated! It's got a cover on it, it could be cleaner around it. I would know because I'm the pool cleaner and I know it's heated. Are you the pool heater-upper as well? What were you doing there, you fucking idiot? What, do you think someone says they're blowing on the pool? No. It's not frozen, the whole pool doesn't freeze to ice.

Why are you defending- Because what, are you cheating on my fucking husband? I don't fuck you up, slut! What were you doing? I always knew you were Dumbo. What were you doing? Right, so who do you think did it and why? What was the beard doing?

Well, it won't be me because the pool is heated, so it can't be... That's not the fucking argument! You're the murderer, you stupid idiot! What was the beard doing? What time does she finish her shift? Her shift finishes at 4pm! And why is she cleaning at 10pm? I don't know.

Because she's covering up a murder. She left at 10 to 4 to a dentist appointment. I did not know that he returned. I've just inspected the bedroom and there's a window open. It's a riddle, mate. You don't argue the case. One of us is the murderer. Oh, John.

Defensive. Defensive. High vote. It was the maid. No, you're both wrong, High vote It was the maid It sounded like It's the maid Maid Maid

Maid Killer Well The people have spoken And you're under arrest Okay do you want the answer We can't vote me Because the pool is heated

Is it me It's Theo man It's Theo He's cleaning a fucking Frozen pool you donkey It's not frozen though That's not how it works It was a freezing Friday It was freezing Yeah but the pool pool You donkey It's not frozen though He was a freezing Friday

It was freezing Yeah but the pool is heated No it's not Not in a fucking normal household Yes it is You're both idiots by the way By the way He might have killed my husband

But I'm still You're going away And I'm glad you cheated on him I'm two for two on this You're an idiot You're not two for two Because you're in prison prick No

The maid is in prison Yeah you're in prison I am not You are not tuning up You are not tuning for two because you're in prison, prick. No, the maid is in prison. Yeah, you're in prison. I am not. You are not. Two nil up. You are not two nil up. When it's freezing, do you think London Fields Lido

freezes over? No, because it's heated. Because that's a public structure. You lose because your back garden pool is not always heated, mate. I'm a butler. They can afford heated pools.

Exactly. I've got a clue. That's not spoken about in the riddle, is it? The point is, you work it out from the words that he said. If he said heated pool, then I would go, oh, someone else has to not spoken about I'm telling you The point is You work it out From the words that he said If he said heated pool

Then I would've gone Oh someone else I'm a butler I'm there I'm literally there Cleaning it I know it's heated Do you know how pools work

If it wasn't frozen There'd have to be a sheet Over the top of it There was a sheet Therefore You wouldn't be cleaning anyway No it'd be heated Because the smoke's coming up

The steam You are Also butlers don't tend To clean pools Pool cleaners clean pools as well no I'm just doing a favour yeah I asked him to stay back

because you went to your dentist appointment I was like do you mind doing some remainder of the cleaning you murderous bitch yeah you fucking murderous well I did it

but you both anyway Reeve was correct thank you I enjoyed that but I'm glad that you're in prison because you fucking shagged me husband no he is my lover

no we can have a nice dinner together because we're actually dear lovers. Yeah, because you're in cahoots, Pat. Finally. Oh, no, I'm not.

I'm a girl. You killed your own husband. Maybe we're shagging. Maybe we are. You killed him. Who was your character going to be? The fourth one was...

You killed him because you know he was in love with me. The first one was... Maybe he was shagging the wall. I would have been the child who was

watching TV. Wanking in the corner. Right, well, it's a child. A child. You were a child once. But I wasn't wanking in the corner as Right, well, it's a child. A child. You were a child once. But I wasn't wanking in the corner as a child. Well,

you probably were at some point. No, I wasn't. You were wanking at some point, no? I know,

I wasn't wanking until I was like 12, 13. That's quite young. Nah, sounds about right. That's also a teenager. I wouldn't class a teenager

as a child. Bob is not a teenager. Huh? I said 13. Well, I enjoyed Garrett's Mysteries. Yeah? I said 13. Well, I enjoyed Garrett's Mysteries. Yeah, that's a

good one, mate. You two are thick. No. No. I still think we might have got the right person. I don't think.

I actually have to choose. I have to actually choose the thicker ones because you two and you still can't get them. And he gets them

straight away. I'm not even trying to get them. I'm just trying to play character. That's not boring. There's much harder ones. Do a much harder one now. I didn't even have to get him. I'm just trying to play character. That's not boring. There's much harder ones.

Do a much harder one now. I didn't even have to work it out. Let's do another one, but make it harder. Okay, this one is genuinely hard. Also, he started out and went, ladies and gentlemen of the court, no one's here. Yeah.

Yeah, but you don't actually work out. You play your character, man. Let the characters work out. It'll prove an innocent. I'll do a hard one. Do a hard one. Give us a character. And I don't even... Reeve will probably get this

If he thinks about it But you two will not get this Right Baby in India So a famous chemist Scientist Ball Bulea

Was found murdered In his own lab He's a ball bulea He's a ball bulea Ball bulea There was no evidence Except for a piece of paper With the names

Of chemical substances On it Which he wrote Right before he died The chemicals on the list There was no evidence except for a piece of paper with the names of chemical substances on it, which he wrote right before he died. The chemicals on the list were oxygen, carbon, nickel, lanthanum, and sulfur. That's funny, because nickel isn't a chemical. What? Nickel's not on the periodic table.

I'm just reading what it is. It was Nicholas. Therefore, he was lying. On the day he was murdered the so this is my character hang on that's also not true you're the piece of paper mate it is it's got a chemical symbol i know no you definitely didn't um so the chemicals on the list were oxygen carbon nickel lanthanum and sulfur on the day he oxygen carbon, nickel, lanthanum and sulfur, on the day he was murdered the chemist had only three visitors

his wife Mary you have to sign the character your Mary I'm the wife again his nephew Nicholas and his friend Jonathan oh I've got to be Jonathan haven't I really the police arrested the murderer right away

how do they know who it was and why who is it Jonathan Mary and Joseph Jonathan Mary Nicholas and Jonathan

where were you due in the murder Nicholas you need to explain why because he wrote nickel he tried to write

who was murdering him but instead of saying Nicholas he didn't manage to finish Nicholas so it was just nickel so why did he write oxygen, carbon

lanthanum and sulphur he was doing his shopping list and then got murdered and then finished it making air no well

you could elaborate that their chemical symbols would be a clue as well yeah I don't know what chemical oxygen is O yeah exactly

nickel is N oxygen is O and then what's N nickel is N oxygen is O and then what's the other one what's the other ones carbon C nickel N I

lanthanum L and then S sulfur S Nicholas there you go it's Nicholas

it was Nicholas see we're too dumb you said it was Nicholas because he wrote nickel no he wouldn't it's the chemical symbol for each of the things.

By the way, why wouldn't he just write Nicholas killed me? Yeah, fair enough. Why is he writing oxygen? Because then whoever came to the scene of the crime afterwards

would go, oh, actually, fucking hell, there's the evidence. Why didn't you figure that out, man? I figured it out before you. I literally said the reason why.

You said it's because you wrote nickel. You said it's because you wrote nickel on the thing. I said it's because it's correct. Hey, Theo, because you wrote nickel on the thing. I said it's because it's correct. Hey, Theo, it doesn't matter how you get there,

Theo, you were there. For different reasons. It'd be N-I-C-O-L-S. Was I correct? He was right. He got there first. Ask me if I was correct first. What do you mean?

He was. But for different reasons. But it doesn't matter. He got the murderer locked up. Yeah, true, fair enough. Well, one murderer's off the street. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Quickest one. One nil to me. Let's go. And I helped you as well. That's why I go in He got the murderer Locked up Yeah true fair enough Well one murder is off the street Yeah Thank you

Quickest one One nil to me Let's go And I helped you as well Would you want an even harder one Yeah you bet man That's fucking easy Give us a character

Make him a Australian Oh my god I've got a new I thought of a new segment For you Tom These ones are Tom Riddle

Oh that's what this Could be called Tom Riddle Tom Riddle Even when Even when I read this explanation, I still didn't get it. Shock.

Alia was found dead in the Central Park of London. Alia? Alia. Why have they got such weird names? I don't know. Alia has written the murderer's name in the cipher on the floor as DQVXF. Oh, fuck that.

I'm going to write this down. DQVXF. DQVXF. There are four suspects. Harry, Costa, Pedro, William. Who is it and why? Who am I? Can it be Pedro?

What are the letters? DQVFX. You can be whoever you want. I don't have the brain power. And what's the cipher? The police were unable to solve the mystery so they called Detective Mule. After a minute

Mule was able to decipher and capture the murderer. What was it? DQ VXF? Yeah. DQ VXF. And she wrote it

in the cipher. It's really difficult, this. Hang on a second. What are the suspect's names? Harry, Costa, Pedro, William. Harry, Costa, Pedro, William. Yeah. So from what I'm saying here, it's Pedro.

I think it is Pedro, yeah. It is Pedro, yeah. Why? It doesn't matter. It's just Pedro, mate. Why? It doesn't matter. It's just Pedro, mate. Why? It doesn't matter. It's just Pedro, mate.

It's just Pedro, mate. It's just Pedro, mate. It is. Explain why. Yeah, because it's Pedro. Lock him up. No, give me an explanation. I'll tell you if you're right or wrong.

It's Pedro because Harry is called Harry. Costa is obviously named after Costa Coffee. William is the king's son. And Pedro is the killer. DQVFX. Is he right? No. That means there's three left.

It must be Harry, Costa or William. I said no, you're wrong in your explanation. Has he got the killer? I'm not telling you. Wait, so what's her name Aaliyah she wrote on the floor DQVFX

why wouldn't you just write as near if you're dead you'd write fucking the person as near it's almost like this isn't real

it's a riddle to make you think what's your thoughts so far Geoffrey each letter corresponds to another letter of the actual person's name but it's got

you've got to work out what the trigger is. So like D to C would be one letter apart. O to Q is two letters apart. I feel like you're just chatting absolutely wassa wassa. I'm not even trying to speak

so just think you're overcomplicating it. No, but that's how you work out what a cipher is. What's a cipher? Things to work out another code. I'd say it's pretty easy to be honest. It's a cipher? Things to work out another code. I'd say it's

pretty easy to be honest. It's William. Okay, why? Why? X is one of the last letters in the alphabet which is next to W. Right. Wait. I know who it is. I know who it is. I actually know who it is.

It's not Harry. It's not Harry. Because there's two R's. Right. It can't be Costa. Right. Why? Because

there is only one Q in it. So that Q would be A. What? What does that, what makes you say that? Am I, what? Do you see what I'm saying here? No.

I've got no idea what you're, Pedro, William, Costa, and Harry. William. Why? Because, D, no idea what you pedro william costa and william why because d d is four letters at this from you two are fucking miles listen listen d is four letters into the alphabet so you reverse it and go four letters from the bath why it's costa because c to d is one letter

o to q is two letters in the alphabet i think v to s is three letters uh t to x is one letter, O to Q is two letters in the alphabet, I think. V to S is three letters, T to X is four, and A to F is five. I was right with looking at the alphabet. But why does that mean it's Costa? He's absolutely bang on. That's how a cipher works. That's exactly what that is. That's the answer, yeah.

I think we worked together on that one. So a cipher, wait, what? No, cipher just implies a code or a structure required isn't it so like the next one would be uh let's what seven six letters apart in the alphabet um it'd be like a to g yeah like the next one would be if his name was costar yeah g is this the smartest thing we've ever done on the pod that was i'm very impressed you got brief have you not ever thought about going into like code cracking i did one code they never found that I'm very impressed you got that. Reeve, have you not ever thought about going into like code cracking? I did one code. Well,

they never found the Zodiac Killer. That's quite impressive that you figured that out. That is very, very good. I don't think, genuinely.

You two are fucking idiots. I don't think I was onto the alphabet, which is a good idea. Well, clearly, yeah,

because the code was a fucking alphabet. I did tell you it was Costa. Yeah, but I had the alphabet up. Did tell you it was Costa. Yeah,

you never once said it was Costa. You should have figured that out way quicker. I only just started thinking. All I did was have two names to look at. I only just started thinking. Right. Did tell you it was Costa. Yeah, he never once said it was Costa. You should have figured that out way quicker. I only just started thinking. All I did was have two names to look at. I only just started thinking.

Right. I helped you out by removing Pedro, though. No, I knew it wasn't Pedro anyway. Yeah, because... It had to do with the letters. It wasn't Harry because there was two R's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. William was a longer name.

See what I mean? I have to dumb them down for you two to participate. I dumbed it down for him. I like the ones where you give us a line on that. Not that. What? Not that kind of line. Wait, Tom Riddle Tom riddle do more than rules in future. Yeah You should do a video where you crack the world's hardest codes. Well, I wouldn't do it because you could break the fine

Discover the killer. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we know who it is. Yeah, it's a fucking fat line carried I don't know. You just do like code cracking from honestly, it wasn't as impressive as you're making it There were two options and I just attributed one correctly to the other. No, I didn't guess. I told him the answer. I wouldn't have been able to get it. Philosoli? Yeah, sure mate.

From one brainiac thing to another brainiac thing, am I right? Yeah, interesting topic this. Whether or not how you view human life. So stop springing it up. Is it ethical to grow fully formed brainless clones

of humans for harvesting organs yes yeah why not say that again it has no soul if it's got no brain is it ethical

to grow fully formed brainless clones for harvesting organs what if you wanted yeah yeah what if you needed well just keep cloning

but what if you needed a brain hypothetically would you be able to do a specific... Oh, you've got far enough with that. Also, can I ask you a question, Reeve? How do they function without brains? That's the point.

Are they plugged in? They'd be in stasis, wouldn't they? Hypothetically. You grow them for the organs and then you... For just the functioning. Yeah, that's absolutely fine. They're basically like a vegetable then, aren't they?

Yeah. Are we growing... Well, that's what aliens are doing with us. Are we growing extra human life? It's like just growing a plant, isn't it? I think that's ethical. Because there's no brain, so it has no soul. Is that what you're saying? No, no, no. Who do they not waste? No, like just growing a plant, isn't it? I think that's ethical. Because there's no brain so it has no soul,

is that what you're saying? No, they're not conscious. Where is your soul? That's an even bigger question and we could have asked that. Who do they look like? Like the clones? You.

It would look exactly like you but it would be... But do they have heads? So there's an empty head. Well, they'd still have heads. But what's the point of having a head if there's no brain?

They're not breathing. I'd say yes, it's ethical because it's empty head. Well, they'd still have head. But what's the point of having a head if there's no brain? They're not breathing. I'd say yes, it's ethical because it's just like growing a carrot to eat. Yeah, if that's how we view it. Why would you grow it with a head if it didn't have a brain? You tick away the ethicalness. I don't understand why. They probably wouldn't be conscious if they don't have brains. So it's just like, oh, okay, well, let's change the question then.

Is it ethical to grow clones for harvest? No. Because brainless, we've all agreed that obviously they can't think properly. No, because they got souls. No, not really a soul. It's not a real person.

It's just the exact copy. It's not a soul. We cloned sheep before. Yeah, Dolly was an interesting... Once. Yeah. But that's the point. What happened to that sheep? Died. What? It just died straight away? No, it lived for a bit. Yeah, ally was an interesting... Once. Yeah. But that's the point. What happened to that sheep?

Died. What? He just died straight away? No, he lived for a bit. Yeah, a tiny amount. I don't know. Well, that's what they say aliens are doing with us, but for souls, not other...

No one says that other than you. That's what they say. No, they don't. If only a clone for a minute second, then it's no longer a clone. Why? Because it's having its own memories and life experiences. No, but by definition

it's come from the exact DNA of somebody else. Yeah, but are you saying that a human is only DNA and physical structure or does a human have life because of the memories and purposes that it's lived?

I mean, that's a valid question but if you're originally growing it for organs... This clone is a clone. It has a life. It has a soul. It's lived. It has memories. It has feelings which are different to its counterpart. So it has a life it has a soul it's lived it has memories has feelings which are different to its counterpart so it's a different person they may look the same is a

twin a clone no it's a twin yeah shit does a cow have like a drop knowledge like that i mean i mean that's exactly the kind of line of questioning i was looking for mate proud of me there aren't you a little bit um so would you no does a cow or like a chicken like have a soul yeah but louis a soul isn't like a physical thing i don't believe in souls some people do what are you then i believe in cells what do you mean like you i'm a conscious human being this is your vessel then this is your vessel here right quite a good looking model Dot dot dot dot But what is the The ticker

The thing that makes you tick My brain Yeah but like Where does the Personality come from My brain and experiences Yeah So your personality

Is just chemical reactions It's experiences But that's all life isn't it Do you know when people Hear like voices in their heads Where's your instinct from It's like saying I've got my personalities Because I was born in March Where He's got where's your in believe in all that shit

Where'd you get instinct from from experiences? How you bought up? Things you surround yourself if it meant we could Jeans and DNA and then we could fight all diseases. Would you be? agreeable to it What it would put you in a constant state of like, what if I'm the clone? Because if the clone is identical to you in every way, then you will never know if you are not the clone

and you have just been imprinted yesterday with the memories to be harvested. Have you ever seen that? And if they break free, then you have a nightmare. The Island, right? Whatever it's called. With Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor.

Oh no, I wasn't thinking about that. That's a great film, though. Yeah. I was thinking about the one on Apple TV recently where he goes into different realities

and there's loads of him. Oh, Dark Matter. Dark Matter, yeah. Yeah, but then... That's just different possibilities in the universe. Yeah, but there's still many of him.

Also, though, just going back to that... No, because they're in different timelines. That's the point. Yeah, but then they emerge into one timeline. No, but it's like

if I shook my right hand now, I'll be in a different timeline if I chose to shake my right hand left hand instead you split yeah but then they come into the same timeline that's my point

yeah yeah but they're not clones they're just different they're alternate versions of people yeah but my point is that's exactly my point this clone is no longer

a clone after like five seconds because it has different experiences and stuff not really no but you've produced it as a clone

no no no it is a clone that just went on its own path from there yeah but is that no longer a clone then produced it as a clone. No, no, no, no, no. It is a clone. That just went on its own path from there. Yeah, but is that no longer a clone then? No, it is a clone. No, but no, no, no. No, because my point is, if you met this clone,

say you have a clone, right? And in a year's time, you meet your clone. You're going to be two different people. But you're still here, but it's still a clone though. It's like, just because it has different experiences to you now.

But is a clone a clone that has a different mental? What do you mean? Do you see what I'm saying? No, I know what you're saying, but a clone is, by definition, if that came from your exact DNA, it would forever be your clone.

Is it a clone if your soul and your mental changes? Is it still a clone? But this is the discussion we had on the last one of like, I'm not the same person I was five minutes ago. There you go. Well, this is the mental bit. Does it mean that? No, this is the mental bit. Because we do all have an identical twin sorry it's too high IQ for me man

we do all have an identical twin in the earth who like looks like completely like you like they might be over in like australia china wherever but like because there's only so many faces what are you on about no listen there's only so many like faces that can happen. What are you on about? No. Oh, listen. The Adiver of Swimland. There's only so many like faces that can happen until they repeat naturally a new face.

It might not be right now. What the fuck are you actually on about? It might not be like right now this circumstance like, but somewhere in time there has been another face that looks identical to you.

You know how if you put me in the top belt and you can't tell the difference. That is true. Or Jamie Vardy. I'm not saying there might be people out there that don't

look exactly like me but you're saying there's only a certain amount of faces people can have. Yeah, there is. There's only a certain amount of faces.

It might be a big number but there's only a certain amount of faces. That is the most ridiculous thing ever said. It doesn't make any sense. It's true.

Everyone has like a doppelganger. Everyone has a doppelganger. Think about it for a second. If there is an unlimited amount Of different variations of cards And there's only 52 cards in the world Exactly

Yeah Think about 8 billion people And the amount of This is forever It doesn't apply to this It's forever Because when they have sex And have a child

There's that many different people That many different possible combinations Of kids With faces I think you're right In the sense that some people Do have similar face cards But

There's never other than genuinely identical twins there's never been It's like the air theory. a random person across the world that has the exact

same face as me. You say that though, right? There's photos of like portraits and that and they look really like time travellers. Yeah, but again that's just similarities.

Look, I'll show you this. No, look. I get it. When you're from certain parts of the world, you do tend to look similar to people. I look similar to a standard British brunette or whatever. People in Holland and Germany do look similar. Standard British brunette?

Well, whatever. What's her name? Or like, you can spot an Aussie, can't you? Yeah, that's true. Use the bar with fucking Eeyore words right now. They're similar face cards They're not the same. No, it's not the same Matthew McConaughey, there's nothing like him that looks fucking nothing like Matthew McConaughey You actually are an idiot off right just cuz he's got a big mustache are you joking that's just a horrible example

also that's a drawing that looks nothing like charlie there's only certain and these are the only ones who have been photographed imagine the people who have the same face you're just picking similar ones eddie mur. Right, yep. Brilliant. It looks similar, yeah. It's the same face, mate. Oh, shut up, man. You're annoying me now. Shut up.

How am I annoying? It is pretty impressive. It's crazy. Exact same black, mate. It is kind of crazy. Is that John Travolta on the right as well? Yeah. I wonder if he was after.

It's a bit like you and them things from Men in Black. Yeah, exactly. It's similar, but you know, it's not the same face, is it? I think he was a similar one, eh? Okay, give me this one at least. Oh, it might have been. It looks you know, it's not the same face, is it? I think he was a swimmer, wasn't he? Give me this one at least. Oh, it might have been. It looks similar to him.

It's the same faces. He's got a pretty different nose. Yeah, Lou, we already said this, mate. Who's that? He's a bronze medalist, mate.

He looks like you. I just think it's kind of interesting. Yeah, bronze medalist swimmer, yeah. Didn't he also win the gold? Did he win the gold as well? Did he win a gold and a bronze?

That's pretty nuts. Whiffin. Daniel Whiffin. Lewis Bowden. That looks nothing like Mark Zuckerberg. Just fucking like him like. Jesus. You've got somewhere wrong with you.

What was the question? There wasn't a question question you brought this up you started with it no it's not ethical could you not argue when he asked about would it be ethical to do with a brain could you not argue then it's completely unethical

first to farm animals and then eat for food and you still eat meat then you get into the conversation of first to farm animals and then eat for food. Yeah. Yeah, but then you... And you still eat meat. Yeah, then you get into the conversation of is a rat

on the same level as a human? That's not what I'm asking. Did you jump from that? Yeah. I think that is what he's asking. It's exactly the same

because you... We don't farm rats. Yeah, you do. But it is a cow. You literally... You don't farm rats. You use rats to test chemicals and shit.

Oh, no, I don't mean that. I mean to eat farm farm to eat but still it's arguably worse to use animals as test subjects and to eat them yeah i mean that's definitely an ethical question for sure there you go see it's exactly the same oh yeah looking so quick to shoot me now because i'm too intelligent for you well done thank you yeah that isn't what i was i was referring to i mean like animals you didn't think did you animals who are purely pure purely farmed to then just be killed and ate is that ethical what were you no but that's life yeah that's my point so you're okay

doing that but then you say it's unethical for us to do to a human i don't think it's ethical anyway but this is the thing like if you were living in a cruel world, if you go into the wild, you see a jaguar rip up a fucking reindeer or whatever. The difference there is you're not the one

killing that animal, you're just getting the pleasure without the guilt. Is that jaguar the new logo or the old one? And also,

the thing is though, a lot of these, say we stopped eating meat, half these animals would just die. We're not going to just keep, I'm not just going to

keep fucking chickens for the crack then. The food chain has changed since the caveman days. What about a fucking pig? Are you keeping a pig? No,

there could be a stink. Have you seen the people that keep pigs as pets? They're really intelligent creatures. But they go extinct is what I'm saying. You know a pig,

if you look after a pig its whole life, right, and you are in its farm cage thing and they live in, if you slip and hit look after a pig its whole life, right? And you are in its farm cage thing they live in. If you slip and hit your head and die in its cage, it'll eat you. Okay. Do you know that?

It don't care about you. You said that before and it's not true. It is true. They eat anything. They don't eat meat. I'm not sure about that. He's watched Snatch. I'm not sure about that.

Have you seen that thing where he makes them into a seal? Let's put you in a farm And I bet you the pig eats you You're like 30 years away From looking like Bricktop anyway mate You actually Lose that

How are you covering up Your hairline at the moment You're looking pretty good No but Yeah so You say it's unethical But then you're happy To eat meat

Yeah So Yeah You get all the pleasure Without the guilt You don't give a shit, mate. I was vegetarian for 17 years. What have you done in your life?

You were vegetarian for 17 years. Yeah. No, you weren't. Yeah, I was. No, you were not.

Why did you look across when you said that? You couldn't stare him in the eye. You didn't eat any meat for 17 years. Pescatarian, yeah. So,

that's not a vegetarian. You just call yourself, I didn't know what pescatarian was. That was a made up thing. Like, it's only coming to play a lot recently. What? That works.

Work pescatarianism. By vegetarianism, yeah. By eight fish fingers and salmon. So, you weren't a vegetarian then? Yeah, but a vegetarian and pescatarian is essentially the same fucking thing. So, is that why you love burgers now? No, genuinely.

Fish are animals. You know what I'm talking about. No, we don't. Fish have brains as well. What about the poor fishies? Yeah. What the fuck are you talking about? Why does it matter

if you're vegetarian or pescatarian? Because vegetarians don't hate anything. You're a hypocrite. You're not killing any brains to get your food in. Fish aren't friends. Why? No, they are friends.

Because they're from the waterlands. Yeah. Also, finger man is nice. So is this why... That's against your ethics then. Yeah, my point is... No, I wouldn't have said that. No, genuinely, is this why you're obsessed with birds then yeah my point is no no genuinely is this why you're obsessed with no but you know because i know you just used it as against you used your

ethical yeah and i was just making a banterous comment to him well like i'm a hypocrite too because i said it's unethical i'm just i'm just pointing out i'm not gonna not eat steak i fucking love steak no but genuinely did you not you're happy. Yeah, that's what it means to be a vegetarian. I didn't know you were vegetarian for 17 years. So you're happy to be unethical. Do you what?

For the sake of taste. He's been confused at me not knowing that about him. So are you. As if that's... Oh, I have a lot of morals, mate. I need protein. I'm not going to get it from pea protein, am I?

Yeah, you can get it without food. We can exist without... Yeah, well, I like a tomahawk steak, all right? But that's my point. Wrapped in gold. You're happy to be completely unethical on a piece of shit for the sake of taste of food? Yes, indeed.

Fair enough. Yeah, but then I'll also put my straws in the recycling. And you're willing to be an unethical piece of shit Bring back the plastic straws and plastic bags to do me. I didn't get rid of them. They still sell plastic bags. Yeah, but think of the turtles, bro. Have you ever seen a turtle in a plastic bag?

Yes. Yeah. It probably is the dumber turtle, though, if you're talking about natural evolution. If you're talking about natural evolution, though, the cleverer turtles will live on who don't eat plastic straws. Lewis, that is the most common L you've ever said, brother.

I don't actually think it's that big of a problem. I was swimming once off the shore. Also, did you call natural selection natural evolution? Yeah. Okay okay i was about to do a monologue sorry go on oh you know there i was deep side there i was off the coast of maui thinking i'm gonna get eaten by a shark in the dark depths of the waters deep blue sea man from man from eastbourne going to hawaii is very then it's from the coast to the coast there i was swimming for my life next thing you know a sea turtle pool pools up next to

me who's who's next to me a sea turtle came out of nowhere and said hello ride the wave dude ride the wave dude and what did i do you wrote a selfie with it what's the ending what's the ending what's the fucking moral of the story you tell some boring stories the moral of the story is this

I took a photo with a seat I looked into that turtle's eyes and it looked back at me and we connected souls and I said you're a smart creature

you're going to be living for years hundreds of years you calling them dummy dum-dums is pathetic. No, he said... No, I'm calling the ones

that we destroy. It's not their fault. I'm just saying, okay, okay, let's not bring up... I was joking, let's not bring up plastic ones, but let's get rid of the paper ones as well.

They'll be fucking all right. Plastic makes up 90% of the ocean. He said... Huh? I wouldn't repeat him. He said plastic makes up 90% of the ocean. Fuck it, man.

It doesn't. It's obviously not true, is it? 90%. I wouldn't repeat him. He said plastic makes up 90% of the ocean. Fuck it, man. It doesn't. It's obviously not true, is it? 90%. It's indifferent to me. I'm not swimming out there. But that's the point, isn't it? Yet again. That's why we got out of the water and grew legs, isn't it?

Are you okay? Are you okay with that? Yeah, that's another ethical bit. But that's just philosophy all over again, mate. I'm fucking sound with it, me. Are you happy eating plastic straws if it means all wildlife in the sea is going to die sorry using

plastic straws I reckon you did choose straws as a child you know you do silence you used a

plastic straw up your dog's arse to suck the shit out of it didn't you that's another story I will say this paper straws

are perfect why do you keep talking in monologue I don't know I fucking ate paper straws I'm pointless you drink a do you keep talking In monologue I don't know I fucking hate paper straws I'm pointless Same with the fucking paper bag

You drink a paper straw Out of a plastic lid Yeah they are annoying Make that make sense Yeah it's Do you want Give me a paper lid And a plastic straw

Reverse it Or just do all plastic Sorry did you say Give you a paper lid Yeah No Right so you want As soon as

As soon as you get Any sort of movement Yeah It just folds in on itself it's better than sucking it through something that

collapses in on itself so the lid would do that as well so either way you're just getting I'd be seeing Capri Suns these days yeah but they still

have the originals as well don't worry about that you know you should actually carry a a straw with you in like a metal case a metal straw you can use it

to summarise to go back to the original question nah let's not do clones sure yo we should go well we've just solved a humanitarian problem

and do like some humanitarian stuff like clear up plastic and shit we should save the world let's do it let's go to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia

touch everything yeah clean a couple bits of plastic up and then do a tour if you're watching this Great Barrier Reef is extinct now it's almost dead how about this if you're watching this and you're a do a tour. You know Great Barrier Reef is extinct now. It's almost dead. How about this?

If you're watching this and you're a marine biologist... No longer the Great Barrier Reef. If you're watching this and you're a marine biologist, invite us down and we will help you save the world. Yeah. And Lewis will also go in a shotgun. Theo can... Well, we've already established that Theo can speak to sea turtles

through his vision. Yep. So we will survive. If you're a marine biologist, do you know dolphins fuck humans? And that's not a joke I'm going to be talking about this similar thing for fact They've been known to

F*** humans I'm not even joking Like insertion Genuinely How big's their dick You're talking dolphin f*** humans There's been cases of it genuinely happening Right This isn't a joke

Who's allowing that to happen. Right. This isn't a joke. This isn't one of my jokes. Who's allowing that to happen? Well, the human obviously isn't. Yeah. I'm excited to show you here. Dolphin dick. Dolphin dick. No, don't.

Whoa! Is that real? It's thin, isn't it? That can't be its cock. That is massive. It. Jesus. The Washington Post.

Oh! That's a fucking killer whale. That is massive. Shit. Jesus. The Washington Post. Oh! That's a fucking killer whale. But that's a dolphin. They have the same dicks, don't they? I mean, I know a killer whale is a dolphin. It's in the same genus, but... I mean... That is mental, dude.

Right. What are you showing us? What is it, though? He lives in his own world, man. We're looking at a dolphin. That is fucking that is crazy dude that can't be real

imagine him putting that in you wait hang on a sec that grows that big that's not real that's real can't be real it is real also that

like we know that dolphins have sex for pleasure right yeah so who's that pleasing that's what I want to know I'll kill someone. I don't even know.

That's probably the length of a human. Yeah. All right, everyone on their phones? I've had no dreams recently. Thanks for asking. Okay,

brilliant. But I feel like I dreamt about killer whales recently. I had a dream the other day that Wayne Rooney messaged us and he was really pissed off at my football takes

and he's like, come meet us. I thought he was just on about it as in a jokey way and I met him and in my dream he was just getting dug into me for the entire thing

like proper just being nasty as hell. Oh, I thought you meant... So Wayne, if you're watching this, that's really nasty. It's probably not, let's be honest. I actually woke up a bit sad. I was like, Wayne Rooney's just dug me out for like I actually woke up a bit sad I was like weirdo

he just dug me out for like the last hour of my dream and I couldn't get out of it I completely get you it's hard do you know what's crazy

that was probably like five seconds in real time yeah that's just how dreams here's a question oh wait sorry I've got that wrong

do you want to stay eternity in a dreamland dolphins don't f*** humans yeah we know they f*** other dolphins oh that okay doctor apparently doctor doctor Janet Mann in a dreamland. Dolphins don't f*** humans. Yeah, we know. They f*** other dolphins. Oh, okay.

Doctor, apparently Doctor, Doctor Janet Mann and Doctor Diana Rees, all behavioural, animal behaviourists and marine biologists disprove the myth that dolphins f*** humans. They only f*** other dolphins.

Something in the R word. What else is it? Say bape. Oh no, there's been three cases Of dolphins displaying Sexual aggression Towards humans Beeping words

Is effortful No it's more It's more the risk Sorry It's more the risk If you miss one And then it goes out And it's like

Fuck's sake Just because he keeps However though However those Are extremely rare And happen as a result Of too much human interaction Okay so

I'll take that back. I was wrong, right? I've got a fact. It's never is, though, is it? Yeah, it's not very nice, this, is it? I just had to scumple it up from the toilet. We should get an animal behaviorist on here to sort you out, pal. What's wrong with me?

Just dissect that brain of yours um cracking so uh a little quick start a fact a little quick one which one would be the way um so the origin the gruesome history of wrapping paper so back in victorian times there's no wrapping paper or out used to important victorians went around and used to start like they were stealing shit from everywhere uh this is why the museums are full of loads of stuff, history from other people's stuff. Sorry about that. Probably shouldn't have it all.

It's like King Tutankhamun, isn't it? Yeah, well, they got mummies and that, and then they used to host parties, and they'd have this mummy there, and they were like, fuck's, like, underneath there? And they'd unwrap it, and they'd unwrap the mummy.

This is, like, really bad, but genuinely, they'd unwrap the mummy, and they'd have parties to unwrap it and they'd unwrap the mummy this is like really bad but genuinely unwrap the mummy but then eventually and they'd have parties to unwrap mummies and then eventually they ran out of um mummies to unwrap and wrapping paper was born you know um you know so when you're at christmas think this all happened because we are terrible people lou you know there was 25 people who went into that king tootin carmoon's tomb yeah uh yeah huh 24 of them mysteriously died I thought it was a 24 came up with 10 went in and 24 died 25 25 okay I'll tell you on the survived is he now he's too many for something all right okay how long ago did they go in about the 1900s okay so they probably died of About the 1900s. Okay, so they probably just died of old age. No, the main guy.

I don't know. Is it Carter? It's actually amazing that one's still alive. Is it Carter? Hang on, I'll tell you. He got bit. They all went in his 1758, and for some reason, they're all dead.

Yeah. No one's seen them since. God, man. It's a GPT. They just died of old age, didn't then you're an idiot no because i think it was the tomb of uh howard carter i told you it's carter there you go he went in i don't know the story he got a um he got a mosquito bite yeah yeah died two weeks later i don't understand what you're saying saying they went in and anyone that went in that tomb died but you said one of them came out no i lied about that you said 25 when in 24 died yeah mate one bloke's come out and

everyone's everyone else everyone fucking died have you ever heard about that no they went in 100 years ago of course they're dead no you idiot they died two weeks later because of the all 25 of them no because of the you know, you know. What? If you go in there, it's haunted in there. How you must know about this? You're fucking weird. Indiana Jones is real, bro. It's haunted. Do you know what they say?

Inside the tombs, it's actually like the aliens who helped them build it rather than like the mummies, but you don't open it so you'll never find out. Yeah, pyramids, isn't it? Crazy.

Oh. Why did they make like all the little avenues inside them? Have you discovered? What have you realised now? I don't think they're that good, the pyramids, man. they make like all the little avenues inside them? It's not discovering. What are you? What have you realized? I don't think they're that good.

The pyramids. They're like, they're absolutely probably the best bits of architecture in human history. It's literally a triangle. I get that. It's big and hard, but like how big the stones are inside and inside. They're all about everything. Perfect inside. It's a fucking shit.

All like in terms of like how the avenues are. And it's nearly 10,000. You know how many, but they're like, what are inside it's a fucking shit all like in terms of like how the avenues are and like nearly 10 000 that's not me but they're like what are the i don't understand do you know how difficult is you know how difficult that would be to make sure it doesn't implode on itself to even have chambers inside a pyramid without them falling in i feel like this hollow pyramid on the outside and not a single one is collapsing. I get it's impressive but I honestly think an igloo is more impressive. Let's move on. Do you know how they make an igloo?

Do you know how big a pyramid is compared to an igloo? You're an idiot. Put the fuck out of snow and you can, I just don't know how you make the bit there

where it goes all the way. Water is wet and wet molecules stick together. You realise that, right? So ice famously actually like is a really solid structure

if you go like this have you not watched Outdoor Boys he does it all the time it's not like that impressive more impressive than the pyramids of Giza

mate here we go oh god the curse of King Tutankhamun many many members of Carter's team

died after going in it including loads of people like Prince Ali Kamel, Fahmy Bay of Egypt, shot dead by his wife, Sir Archibald Douglas Reid, mysteriously died.

Archibald Douglas Reid. Sir Lee Stack, assassinated. Arthur Mace, arsenic poisoning. Right, so how long after? Carter's secretary, Richard Bethel, smothered in his bed in 1929

they go crazy when did they go when did they go when did they go within five years of finding it no all of them here did they go to the expedition 1922 so 1929 this guy's died seven years later but they all died within five years about 10 people have died i thought it was 25 and then poor Carter who seemingly had beaten the curse dies Hodgkin's disease

so he's died dies cancer oh wow Tim Carmoon gave Hodgkin's disease now if you hear about it though

like the mosquito killed a lot of people as well wiped out half the team they kill a lot of people have you never heard of King Toon Carmoon we know about him

oh my god that's not the question that is about him. I know who Toon Kar-Moon is. That is not the question. We know who Tim Kar-Moon is. The pharaoh, yeah. We know who he is. Mate, he was cursed.

I'm telling you. Have you ever thought, wasn't he really young? I tell you what, do you know why do you want the scientific reasoning behind why they think it was cursed?

Go on, yeah. Because the the tomb hadn't been opened in thousands of years, all this hot air was trapped in there causing diseases and bacteria. And there was a mosquito

that had survived for thousands of years in there. Sure. A thousand year old killer mosquito wiping out 15 people. He's like fucking all the ground.

Wiping out 15 people who caused him to have Hodgkin's disease 10 years later. Fucking whole lad's room's tight. He grew to the size of a tiger. And you know why fucking all the ground why put out 15 people who caused him to have Hodgkin's disease 10 years later fucking Owlhead's room's tight he grew to the size of a toy guy

and you know you know why you know everyone's going fucking Owlhead can you hear that and they're going do you want to know

why Tutankhamun's tomb was so artefactly held together what preserved preserved was because when Tutankhamun died Artifactly held together What? Preserved Preserved Was because When Tutankhamun died

At the age of 18 Tell you what I mean It's been artificially Preserved Do you know why? Because it was covered up By loads of other tombs So the raiders

Of the lost Oh my Shut up man The raiders In the past Who would go into tombs And steal them back Tomb raiders

Yeah technically tomb raiders They didn't know Tutank come in's tomb existed yeah because it was covered by dirt and other tombs because when he died at 18 people didn't like him they wanted to cover him up wasn't he younger than that he was 18 get to know your egypt history mate it's crazy because my fact today was how toankhamun gave Hodgkin's disease to 10 people. Okay, right. Actually, no, I have got the human Z. Mate, one of them died of blood poisoning. I've heard about this, by the way, and it's fucking bullshit.

It's fucking class. I don't even know what to expect. Go on. Okay. It's mental, this is, honestly. A human Z. Let me just whip you off. No, don't move it. This is how I imagine you are when you first discover the headline.

Like the actual article after the headline you get fed. It's just Rocky Monkey. Put your phone down. I got the human Zio. We don't care about the pharaohs. He's doing his facts. My favourite type of history is Egyptian. Egyptology, you mean.

And Roman. So not just Egyptian. Did you know the Romans and the romans and the egyptians did you know that but you didn't know that uh okay so it is the bronze age they all lived at you know romans don't have a little toe that's not true you fucking lied about that at the time and i knew it wasn't about that if you get a little feel if you get your little toe cut off you can't stand up no you're walking circles no that's the earlobes no if you get a little feel if you get your little toe cut off you can't stand up no you're walking circles no that's the ear lobes no if you get your balance just shut up and get on with your balance it's so skewed you actually can't stand if you get your little toe

off do you know if you only had one nostril you would die no you will eventually learn to no no you actually can't do it right so so basically either getting you both your legs amputated or one little toe nobody can stand. Yeah. It's like when you get when one of your ears goes all dodgy and you get loads of water and you lose equilibrium.

Yeah, I know what it is. You fall over, yeah. Right, carry on. Tell us about this human. So we should have oh my god, let me do can I do a new subject next week, Lou? Yeah, man.

Baker's history lesson. Nice. Yeah, fuck you. Hell yeah. The human Z. Yeah, man. Gordon Gallop claimed in the 1920s in a lab in u.s florida something terribly awful happened he's covering my face on the camera i like that um so 1920s was a time for major scientific revolution.

You know, you had like... 70s. Yeah, you had like Tesla inventing electricity. Yeah, he invented it. Electricity in the 70s? Tesla did. Inside the 70s? 1920s.

1920s. You had the Frankenstein films coming out. Yeah. So like, you know... Well, so was there electricity before then? There was a lot of like people were interested in. It was that kind of, no, Edison copied it off Tesla.

Okay, sure. Allegedly. No, that is actually true. Allegedly. He did steal it. Allegedly. It wasn't true, it was Tesla. Allegedly.

He changed it to the light bulb. Allegedly, you don't want Elon to sue us. Allegedly. No, Tesla's a Russian scientist. Okay. Yeah, but I don't know if you'd have known that that's the only okay are you fucking how that is so rude you didn't know if i've never heard of nikolai test you did just say there was a thousand year old mosquito that was a joke um yeah frankenstein

was out and about so people were like looking at that thinking fucking hell like are we gonna have a frankenstein one day and like that sort of fed onto many things. Like World War II. So in US, Florida, there was a chief scientist called, we'll call him Pavlov. The dog? With his dog? Oh, you're not about to tell us Pavlov's?

Pavlov's conditioning, but it's fine. You're about to tell us a psychological experiment. No. Okay. He was working really late nights

and he was unfortunately at a facility where they kept monkeys and I hate this sort of stuff because monkeys are lovely. So they're like chimps. Well, chimps. Chimps aren't monkeys.

Yeah, they're not the same thing, bro. So they had loads of monkeys there. Yeah, they're not monkeys. They're chimps. We've been over this, man. Yeah, we have. And you're wrong. Just all part of the same family.

They're not. That is outrageous, by the way. Apes aren't the same. They're not. Fish aren't friends. They about the same family they're not that is outrageous apes aren't the same they're not fish aren't friends they're the same they're not anyways there's loads

of apes there fractionally incorrect already there you go well done loads of chimps and monkeys and that

no so and they would do like he would say really late Pavlov he was sort of like he was sort of like you know

just grinding away yeah yeah his world's really committed yeah Pavlov's a very famous psychologist you need to stop

it's painful enough without you as well please but he is tell us the bit where a fucking it's true where a man

becomes a chin I'd sooner him just get through his early fact before the real one you know what he was invented cake

Pavlova yeah go on anyways he'd be the only one who'd stay late and like his co-workers would look at him and think that's a bit weird cake a pavlova yeah you know go on anyways he'd be the only one who'd stay late and like his co-workers would look at him and think that's a bit weird

whatever oh no don't you dare tell me he's having an affair with one of the fucking types that's where your head goes they were like

that's a bit if you tell me he's shagging a chimp I'm not seeing anything we're not doing this again they were like that's kind of weird but we'll let him on

and it's like he just didn't have a family is that what it is and he was he worked late and like he'd get close to the chimps don't you dare

he fingered a chimp I'm not saying he fingered a chimp I'm saying he would get close to the chimps because he could communicate a bit and like

he interacted with humans all the time like so they could play cards so he'd play he would play poker yeah yeah well it would start with things like checkers and stuff and then and then upgrades Yeah. Like, so they could play cards. So they could... They were playing poker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it would start with things like checkers and stuff.

And then... And then upgrades the cards. The thing is, they kept eating the cards and fucking shoving them in their arse. Well, we've been over this. Like, you can teach them anything as long as you have a few bananas on the go. Anyway, so he'd get them smoothies,

banana smoothies as well. What's the obsession with bananas? They don't even eat that many bananas wait can I ask you did smoothies even like exist back in the 90s no they wouldn't

have had the they wouldn't have had a blender I don't think a blender would have existed certainly not an electronic one

no you could he just chews up and then he got like penguins it in anyways oh that is horrible just do an ape sorry a chimp

god my nose is running like why don't you blow it? What? What is it? What's happened? He's not going to... Yeah, he's a zealot.

Lies to zeal. Not you. What? I'm tired. Theo went, the ape. Sorry, you mean the chimp. It's the same thing.

He's like. So anyways, he's having these good, like, nice nights with the chimp. All right, go on. Playing blackjack.

Well, yeah, banana smoothie nights and stuff like that. He came to voodoo. Yeah. And anyways, he started like fantasizing

sort of like, about like this, about this new scientific idea because you know frankenstein was just out as well i'd like to make a franken chimp so it's like the news time for science always just out yeah yeah like he's a real thing he says he's telling the boys at the at the poker table you see in the new film they go well not they'd watch films together i don't think they don't understand what's going on though do they mate they mate like

monkeys are smarter than what you think they're not monkeys so you're telling me chimps watch the full early release of Frankenstein all the way through

yeah one of the films they wouldn't have like DVD players in that you'd have to you'd have the wheel so he'd take his

little chimps out to the theatre would he and I thought they'd have to build a projector it's like a projector wouldn't they be on each other's shoulders with a hat on You'd love the wheel. So he'd take his little chimps out to the theatre, would he? And I thought... They have to feel my projector. It's like a projector, isn't it? Would they be on each other's shoulders with a hat on?

This thing, like, when these chimps... And it's awful that they are trapped indoors. They've just got a top hat and a suit on. One ticket, please. Four tickets to the theatre, please. We'll get on to that. We'll be getting on to that one. Pop right off, mate.

They say, you've got a big a big long black trench coat put it on three of them like can i see who's under there and they're just like a free chimps on top of each other um no let me uh before we move on i just do want to establish like the monkeys are smarter than what you think like it's it's really sad when they're in these confines but they do learn a lot of stuff like they play hangman he had like a black world like there's all sorts of intellectual things yeah checkers chess spell word they know every word in the human dictionary i can work out hangman anyways um he started fantasizing every round hey pavlov like one night that's the 20th time it's been banana in a row what's going on here he's yeah he's sat with the monkey there's only three letters in banana

that's crazy yeah yeah Yeah there is. Okay. Um But they teach them the You hurry up. Please hurry up mate. Anyways he's chatting with the monkey

and going back and forth. Yeah I bet he is. And he's like he thinks he has like this good idea and he starts like working on it. And he's like

secretly working on it after hours because he just wanted he wanted a surprise. Oh get on with it. He wanted to surprise everyone at work about it. Fucking painful. And one day Pavlov comes running in, in the daytime.

I was like, guys, I've fucking done it. And he's like sweating. He's not really showered, long beard and that. And everyone's proper confused. And he said the human Z. Oh. So, and this is serious. He managed to breed a monkey and human hybrid.

No, he didn't. He spanked in a monkey and human hybrid no he didn't Christ he spunked in a monkey's bum I do I don't I know that doesn't get him pregnant I don't know how this hybrid was made

it didn't he wasn't made he might have done injections I don't know it wasn't made it's not true I'd like to think but he was really close

to the monkey but I'd like to think it wasn't like that way a human cannot impregnate a fucking chin they can't yes they can made the embryos are the same theoretically it's impossible it really can't happen mate by the way it can because it did right let me google it no don't go you're gonna root because

it'll come up with this case no it won't they will because it's happen. Let me Google it. No, don't Google it because it'll come up with this case. No, it won't. It will because it's only this case. He's ruining my story. I'm not. You are. It's only the story. You're ruining the ending. Can I Google

can a human impregnate a chimp? Yes, and it'll come up with this monkey. Yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. That's on my list. Anyways, he was there. And my thought has just been flagged.

Yeah, you've just ruined it For yourself Oh fuck What does that actually say This content may violate Our terms of use And use this Apology He's gonna get

M.O.I. thought He'd just been flagged No humans cannot Impregnate chimpanzees Nor can chimpanzees Impregnate humans No they can't I said monkey number one

Anyways How do I delete this So Delete Delete All the other scientists All the other scientists all the other scientists looked at him

and was like mate that's fucking minging yeah and not true you do me Adam with this it's true it's not true it's not true mate I'll show you afterwards

I've deleted my history don't worry they were like mate well that's fucking sick like not sick like that's sick in the head yeah we understood

we know it that's sick anyways they killed the infant human Z. That's nice, isn't it? What did it look like? It was just like,

it was just really bald. Bald, not hairy. It was me. Yeah, it was more bald. It looked human. It had like a very flatter face. Yeah, so it was like a baby then. Shouldn't it have hair?

No, because it was more human. But it's half chimp. Yeah, it was half human. Yeah, but it was a half chimp. Anyways, Pavlov, he was heartbroken because it was more human but it was half chimp yeah it was half human yeah but it was a half chimp anyways Pavlov he was heartbroken because he thought

he fucking did it he leaves the lab and he like quits and whatever chimp goes missing I thought he was dead you just said they killed it no they killed the baby chimp

oh right so the mummy chimp the human Z you mean gone missing never hear of it which chimp the one who got pregnant right mummy chimp she's on the run mummy chimp she's on the mean god missing never hear of which chimp the one who got pregnant right

mommy chimp she's on the run she's on the run no one knows what happens they look for him all over whatever him him anyways a few years science works how's the male chimp giving birth none of this story is factually accurate i'm so excited because there is this is so real and you're gonna fucking see in a sec you are that you are you're you're medically unwell you do know that i can't i this is gonna feel so good when i show you and you're like and his face like oh shit you're so smart because it's it is real yeah it's disturbing how thick it is this story's disturbing this story's disturbing i've got pictures it's disturbing to listen to because he's bollocks anyways you believe it

you think that's real this is you're going to see it and you'll understand it's fucking embarrassing anyways a few years later a certain monkey called Oliver

is spotted brilliant this is not of course it is now this isn't the man this is a new dog and it's making like on backside with his fellow monkey

it's making like appearances in like, in public. Yeah. You're on YouTube. The only thing about this, I've seen more club appearances than that.

The only thing about this monkey is, it looks human. Oh, fuck you. Careful what you say next, pal. So Oliver was bald, and would walk around on two legs,

doing human stuff. Sounds like my lockdown. He couldn't understand English and he learned how to say words like mama and cup. A cup. Eventually,

What is the point of telling this story? So, what I think happened is Pavlov fucking bred another human Z or it happened again in the lab

and they re-erected, re-suscitated the whole plan to do it. And this is real. These are genuine pictures. This isn't like a funny Mothman picture.

These are real pictures that are on the internet. I hope this isn't from... Oh, not the internet. You should go to a library one day, Lou. That would be dangerous. Here he is in his tux because he dressed him up.

That's just a chimp. That's literally a chimp. That's a chimp in a suit, bro. Mate, that's a fucking chimp. No, he's more human-like, though. That's a chimp. That's a chimpanzee, man. That is more human.

Look at it. It's a chimp. No, this is human. He's in his shorts as well. He's got a full body of hair. That's a chimpanzee. I thought you said the chimp was bald. That's a chimp with a nappy on.

Hairy genes are more dominant always. There's videos of him too. He's called Ollie the Chimp. Oh, Ollie the Chimp! Ollie the Chimp! Ollie the Mumanzellie the chim oh yeah yeah no no no look i'll find the

videos of him it's a chimp louis it's a chimpanzee bro it's not mate it's spork it's a fucking chimp oh you're so

annoying it's fucking oh here we go ollie was a chimpanzee it was popular in the 1970s uh link also the 70e. It was popular in the 1970s. In the 70s?

Also, the 70s. You said this was in the 20s. Linked with the possible human Z. Oliver was known for his unusual appearance and behaviour, including walking upright. I see you fucking twats. However. Chimps can walk upright.

Tom, let me finish. However, scientists concluded and found that Oliver was not In fact A human champion Because it's impossible Because They were hiding it

Because they were ashamed Of what it was Yeah Everything's a conspiracy bro In 1996 Genetic Analysis People

At the University Of Chicago Found out Oliver had 48 chromosomes Which is the exact Number Of a normal chimpanzee of Chicago found out Oliver had 48 chromosomes, which is the exact number of a normal chimpanzee. I'll show you.

I'll find you the video of him walking about and smoking. And now lives in Florida with his... Where's he still going? Yeah, with his wife. Ollie.

He actually died of cardiac fibrosis, heart disease. Oh, man. 2012. Oh, chimp. Fucking hell. That's a long-lived chimpanzee.

You actually shouldn't be allowed to do another one after that Oh this is really By the way Let me just show you this Right now You're worryingly gullible No you're a fucking idiot

No you're a fucking idiot Guys Guys Can we just I don't know where the hell You fucking researched this shit from I know Because you said it's in Florida

This is linked by a biologist Called Ivanovich In China And Soviet A Soviet biologist In the United States Possibly by researchers called Ivanovich in China and Soviet. A Soviet biologist in the 90s possibly by researchers in China.

He's found all this out in 30 seconds. He's not looking. You have all week to prepare this. First of all, you tell us a completely false story.

Then you get all the facts wrong. It's not false, mate. It's right. Ilanova was the first person to attempt to create a hybrid between the two in 1910 in 1920

he carried out experiments with three female chimpanzees with human sperm and he failed to achieve any pregnancies

that's allegedly a real surprise experimental experiments took place in French Guinea that is a real surprise different species

not being able to breed who'd have seen that coming after that he destroyed the embryos because they were scared of what a human yeah yeah yeah well done where are you getting like you're just making it it's not making oh you i've got it here found out more than you you've looked on

wikipedia mate that's just written by anyone and you got off where tiktok right if you got you can search no no no if that's the case where have you got your right to go from? Gordon Gallop. Gordon Gallop, human Z. You'll see. You fucking pricks. Right. Should we... Also, why did you name him Pavlov? That's just ruining the reputation

of a truly controversial... Should we finish on the quiz? Yeah. Yeah, why not? All right, buzzer noises, please. Pav... Chimp. Why don't you do love?

Oh. Z. Okay. Okay. In what country are the headquarters... This is a sport quiz, by the way. Ah. Sport quiz this week. In what country are the headquarters of the IOC?

C. Which is... Canada? No. Pavlov. Oh, I haven't finished, but okay. Switzerland. Yes. What the fuck? Canada no Pavlov oh I haven't finished but okay Switzerland yes what the fuck

do you know what it is Olympic yes oh shit question number two yeah what athlete set a world record

by running the mile in under four minutes I don't know who that was. I'll go with you. Roger Bannister. Correct. Well, we're against him really, aren't we?

Let's be honest. 1-1-0. In which city are the headquarters... I don't know what those headquarters were. In which city are the headquarters of the International Cricket Council? Pavlov. India?

No. He said city. That's not a city either. You actually... We've got to dock points for answers at some point soon, mate. Would it be London? No. Chimp York.

Z? No. Leeds? No. I was going to give a clue. Yeah, we get a clue then. It's not in Europe. No. Leeds. No. I was going to give a clue. Yeah, we get a clue then. It's not in Europe. Oh.

Pavlov. Sydney. Z. You've already buzzed me. No, we both buzzed in the second one, no? No, you've already had your... What's the capital of Pakistan? Is it Karachi?

I don't think it'd be there though. I'll go... Oh! I'll go New Delhi Pavlov Z Oh wait that's the Delhi's capital of India

isn't it Yeah What I thought Mumbai was That's two points Where's what Mumbai It's in India It's not the capital It's a city in India

Yeah New Delhi's the capital Big cricketing nation. Come on, I need an answer. You've taken a while. Cape Town. No. Mumbai.

Z. Right. The Middle East. Pavlov. Abu Dhabi. For cricket? Yeah, I don't know. It might be random somewhere.

Z. Interesting question. What is the city in... What is the... Karachi is Pakistan. What's the fucking capital of Bahrain? Could be Karachi. I don't know.

Manama. Manama? No. Karachi. No. No. Is it in a cricketing nation's country? I don't associate this with cricket, no.

Oh, really? That's what I mean, yeah. I don't think we should be picking countries. Pavlov, Istanbul. That's a country, mate. Is it Turkey, Istanbul? I mean, no. I've not a clue.

More like, okay, no one's getting the points. It's Dubai. Oh, it's going to go with Dubai instead of Abu Dhabi. Yeah, that's not... Fuck! That's a country. I just didn't think it would be in Dubai. No, it's not. What? Dubai, no. instead of Abu Dhabi yeah that's not fuck that's a country I just didn't think it would be in Dubai

no it's not Dubai no the UAE the United Emirates mate oh is that why you looked and you said Abu Dhabi

you're three down here you're so how can you say three so wrong things in a row there I thought Dubai was a country it would be Dubai

Abu Dhabi still 1-1-0 why is it there what team has the most NBA championships in history? Pavlov, Chimp. Celtic, Bostock. Pardon?

Boston, Celtic. Yes. Celtic, Bostock. 2-1-0. Well, he's on minus three, so... What country has the most Davis Cup titles in tennis? Zeech. Pavlov.

Pavlov, sorry. No. That was me, wasn't it? That was me. Oh, go on, then. United Kingdom No Australia

No Pavlov C Switzerland No Serbia C No

United States Yes 2-2-0 Bullshit Are you going to know all these easy Give us it then. They're all fucking golf questions. Yeah, actually you have

lost to be fair. Ooh. What team was one of the most Stanley Cup championships? I don't know what sport that is. Boston.

It's NHL. Yeah. Do you know what that is? Toronto. Do you know what that is? Do you know what that is? It's like ice hockey. Yeah. What does NHL stand for? National Hockey League.

Well done. Who did you say? Toronto Tigers. Oh, what's that famous... There's an NHL player who's like... Do you mean a Toronto Maple Leafs player? Yeah. Fuck.

There's an NHL... Who did you play for? Don't know. But I think that's the answer. I don't know who he playedowski. Fuck. Who's this? NHL? Wayne Gretzky. Who did he play for? Don't know. But that's, I think that's the answer. I don't know who he played for. The Toronto Whitecaps. Well,

he just said Toronto. Oh, do you say, oh fuck, I don't know. Toronto Tigers. It's Toronto Maple Leafs anyway.

Some Vancouver team. Is it the New York Rangers? None of you are going to get it. It's the Montreal Canadiens. I was going to guess that next. Kiss point. Go on. Is it that Gretzky guy?

I don't know. I'm not very good with... Wait, where was the one good question? I saw the New York Rangers versus the New York... There's like two teams there. It's quite cool. Oh, MSG. I hate it.

You can't see the puck. Yeah. I've never watched it. In which sport would you find the terms bump, set and spike? Chimp. Volleyball. Correct. Three, two, zero.

You're on zero. Cheers. If you don't get one point, you've got to do the dance in your boxes. He thought India was a city, Mumbai was its capital, and Dubai was a country. So, I mean, are we actually going to let him get away with it? I thought Dubai was a country.

Yeah, I did think that. I will say I'll go Dubai. We'll do, this is the final question, and I'll let you answer first. If you don't get it right, I'm not doing it in my boxes. Because of your performance today, you have to do the dance in your boxes. I'm not doing it in my boxes. That's fair. I'm not doing it in my boxers because of your performance today you have to do the dance in your boxers

I'm not doing it in my boxers that's fair I'm not doing it in my boxers I totally agree with that I've got nothing you can't get a whitewash

you can't you've got to yes that's never been a rule you can't just make it up now I might try so what happened to your six pack it's not there

I'm fucking tubby now 75kg you were hanging out I put on 5kg 5kg 5kg yeah I was 70kg at my fight

how do you put on so much weight eat a lot of food are you like no exercise I put on 1.5kg to be fair you can get this

very different though I mean he was a fighting shape what country no which that doesn't make sense

which country is when the that doesn't make sense go on say won the most That doesn't make sense Go on say it out loud It's going to be what team I don't know why it says country What team has won The most World Series titles

In MLB history What's up with you And American questions This is just on air It's all American Okay okay I'll give you a better one And again if you don't get this

I'm not in my boxes That's never been a rule It's surely only between like three I've already got me cock out for you on a calendar what would you want the answer is the Yankees

you could have easily got that Yankees would have been the one right what country is one of the most European championships in men's football if you don't get this you're dancing in your

boxing club it'll be yeah it'll be spin nope have France nope oh it's going to be like Hungary or someone isn't it yeah it'll be Spade nope Pav France nope oh it's gonna be

like Hungary or someone isn't it Germany correct Armando Whitewash baby Whitewash dancing in his pants

that's not the real right thanks for tuning in guys and make sure you go on the backside TikTok to see Luis dancing in his pants

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we're never going to get 5,000 subs. We're off the vlog. You never know. We've been at 45 for like four months. No, we haven't. We're going up nicely.

You've got to get the backside crew and the G's, my G. You need to get your kit off. Okay, bye. I'm knocking my dick out. You made it to the end. Well done, you.

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