Back Side - Italian Bach Predicts A.I's Future, Spills Alien TRUTHS & Builds The ULTIMATE Supervillain

Episode Date: June 26, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of backside with me Reeve Theo Baker Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden If you haven't already hit follow why not tap it right now for new episodes every week And if you want to see more backside catch us on YouTube tick tock and Instagram where all you have to do is search backside Let's get into it. Delighted to have batch on the show today I think the coolest thing to me is thinking about like aliens and stuff. I love aliens What's the nearest black hole? How far are we talking? Center of the Milky Way and it's a super massive black hole as well. What would win a polar bear or an elephant? Polar bear nicks it on points. Polar bear is one of the deadliest animals in the world.

What would your most dangerous animal be if you designed one? I would just do Reeve but give him crocodiles for arms. No, I was going to do that. If you could ask an animal one question, what animal would it be? Dog do you understand me? Do you genuinely understand me or are you just like... Dogs can't speak English. How on earth do we know what they see? There's a lot of coincidences with the moon. Question, why are we not being back?

To the moon. Welcome to Backside. Please subscribe. We're aiming for 1 million. Thanks for 50 care. Yeah Intro delighted to have batch on the show today. How are you? Good. Thanks. How are you? Oh That's all scripted Sorry, I should have said anything actually daydream my shit's not scripted though, so I don't know what to say now. All right. Yo, do something funny. Do something funny with you.

I'm Italian, go on, do something. Okay. You literally poked him. All right. Oh, women, what's up with that? That was awful. Women? What's up with that, am I right?

Yeah. Can we talk about this? Stand up. This tongue thing? Cause like, is it a thing I just was scrolling on before you, Peter? No, it's not that. Oh, it was when I was scrolling and you were just licking across your lips. What was that? Oh no.

Is the thing where you go, Yeah. I saw that one. I thought you meant you could do like the flowers. No, you know, you, you did like a tick. You did a tick tock or something yesterday. You mean he could do like the flowers? No, you know, you can't just poke in your tongue. What the fuck? You did like a TikTok or something yesterday. A TikTok or something? And then when you were talking, you just did this.

Put it out, yeah. It's very pointy. Oh! Oh! What the fuck? That's got me. That's like, do you have a big nose? You have an alien Romulus, mate.

I think so, wait, I mean. Can you lick your nose? I mean, you could do... Yeah you have an ancient Romulus, mate. I think so, wait, let me. Can you lick your nose? I mean, you could do- Yeah, but my nose is massive. Yeah. That's why it makes it easy, I think. It's not that big, is it? Oh, fuck, you can actually can.

Yeah. Yeah, no problem. I get nowhere near, I better get over my lip. Go away. Oh, oh. That's not all your tongue, you've got more than that. I can get it in. No, you can't. Lick, oh.

Get it in my- Oh, is it, our tongues are actually weird. Your tongues are pointy, mine's like round. Well, no can't. Oh, get it. Oh, is it? Your talks are pointy. Mine's like round. The more muscular they are, that goes toward it. They do have like a pesky little devil. It's like an octopus in your mouth. Is it? I don't know about that. Do octopuses have tongues? I found out the other day birds have tongues. Well, obviously. You know that they do. Have you ever seen a bird lick its beak? Have you ever seen a pelican? Exactly. You never see a bird flying with its tongue out like.

Google that. No, but we watched the horse do it. Do octopuses have tongues? Because of a little fun fact for you. A bird's tongue goes around the back and like in between the brain and the beak. So when the ba ba ba ba, it doesn't damage the brain. Is that a factor? It's like a woodpecker. You're a man that debunks myths and smart stuff and all that. Could you debunk this for me?

Everyone says in the grapevine, if I eat more, will I get fat? Everyone says that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. Oh, mine is, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Or is it just the strongest per size? Because I would argue that my tongue couldn't squat 100 kg. Oh, embarrassing. Or is that just to say that you can squat 100 kg? Yeah. And that's many muscles. But you know your tongue goes down like down there. Your tongue's actually like well long. This is only a bit of your tongue. Your tongue goes down. What's it doing

down there then? By what? Tensile strength or I could if you if you held on to my tongue stop sloppy I could hold your body weight No, you know you fucking So stick your tongue out yeah, and try and push it down and you push up with your tongue What the fuck you that's not 87 kg though. I can't see your tongue by your arm. I just did. No, look. The finger wins.

What are you trying to say? The tongue can't go up. Where can your tongue go? It can't go anywhere. I'm pushing up, mate. That's why. It's the strongest muscle in your body. I think it is.

I've just done a quick Google. It's not, but you're not far off. Is it pound for pound? Your masseter muscles. Your jaw? Yeah, your clenching. Isn't it weird, like, you could just bite a finger off with your jaw?

You can. Your brain tells you not to do it. Wait, so my mouth is the strongest muscle I know? Yeah, the masseter muscle is the strongest muscle in the world. My mouth is the strongest muscle I know. Think about biting power. You know in like films and TV shows and what not, and maybe in real life torture methods, how the hell does someone's mouth get ripped off?

You're supposed to be the scientist. What the hell are you on about? I don't think that's the same thing. You could still get... No, but you couldn't, if I said to you, right Batch, come over here and rip my mouth off. I think I could do it. You couldn't think that's the same thing. You can still get, but you couldn't, if I said to you, right batch, come over here and rip my mouth off. I think I could do it because it's strong as muscle. Just because it's strong doesn't mean it's indestructible. What are you on about? Also they get ripped off when they're not expecting to be ripped off. If you're preparing the muscle and holding the strength, it's harder to do that. Why

are we talking as if the jaws get ripped off? I've never seen- King Kong give it to the dinosaur. It can happen. That too. Also, your jaw's not stronger than a whole person ripping your jaw. Apparently it is.

Says who? No, it's stronger than any other single muscle, but not like when someone's ripping, it's not just one muscle that's pulling it. I'd like to test this out. We should create like a device that you can put in your mouth like that. And keep yours closed. You can hang a dumbbell off it. They have that. You could do that. Yeah, you'd bite it

and you just do ripping off YouTubers jaws. People get their mewing powers from there. Have you not seen the people who like basically pierce their lip and they get, they have like pain kinks and they like pierce the lip and hang like huge weights off it. Like off their tongue like they get a kink of it and they, I mean not seeing they suspend themselves by hooking things into their back and they just like levitate. No I'm not familiar with it as much as you are. It's so fucked. It's, I think Idiot Broad went there.

Carl Pilkington. Carl Pilkington. Shocked. Aye. Aye. The hero must not be named. His entire brand. Yeah, copyrighted.

Despite this entire brand. Yeah, copyrighted. We're having this discussion every day, right? What would win? An elephant or a killer whale if the killer whale had legs? When were we having this again? Wait, were you having this? Killer whale wins, don't they?

Were you having this at us? No, it was just out of the pool. It was a killer whale on legs, was it? I'm thinking about a race. No, Theo. We're not on about a fucking race. Yeah, or a quirk on legs. Both fights.

They're both on legs was it race is no Group that because they are devious though, but the orcas are so clever the orcas Fat they're clever in water, but will they have the maneuverability that they have in water with legs? They've got a massive mouth. We're like saying yes. The hypothetical is the killer whale is the same out on the land. It's just got legs. I think the elephant trumples it.

But I don't think it trumples it. The elephant would be like... No, I mean... The hawk would be like... I know they're protective, but they're hyper aggressive. Elephants aren't really that aggressive. We forget they have little... That's what I mean, when they're protected but they're hyper aggressive, elephants aren't really that aggressive. We forget they have literal spears on their head mate. The orca would just dodge it.

What's wrong with orcas? Are you picturing? How fast are they? He's got a land! He's got legs! How big are the legs though? Like dinosaur legs. Like picked him like T-Rex. Like four small or two legs. Two legs?

He's gonna have to have four legs. They're the size of Jordan Pippa's arm. Jordan P like a dinosaur. So he would be like a crocodile, wouldn't it? Yeah, almost. Kinda. But he's got the same agility as he's got in the water. Oh, that's GG then. How's that doing that?

He's basically like Danny Pacquiao, but also David Hay. He's a lion. I don't think it's fair given. He's got a lion. Me and Francis and Connor are two lions. So it's a lion. They're way bigger than a lion. They're way bigger than a lion, aren't they?

And they're way smarter. Lions are dumb dumb. I can say the toothed tiger then. No, dumb dumb. They're dumb dumb. Or what would win, a polar bear or an elephant? We already discussed this. The polar bear nicks it on points. The polar bear is one of the deadliest animals in the world. We chatted GBT and they said the elephant's skin might

be too tough. They don't have the energy to break it down. But they have in say stamina though. Just from pure size though, the elephant weighs like a ton, in it. You know they eat 400 kilos of food a day. What? A polar bear? Yeah. What the fuck do you mean? I learned about that when I didn't go. A polar bear is the only animal that hunts food.

A lot of sugar cane, a lot of like... Where did you go? Chiang Mai. Elephant sanctuary? Yeah. Elephant sanctuary. Elephant? Which was ethical.

What would your most dangerous animal be if you designed one? Like if you, if you would design an animal batch. I'd design a polar bear. Have you seen the video? A killer wild one. A dragon. Something you design in one. Say you have to take the legs off something, the body, the head. Oh no, I would just do Grieve but give him crocodiles for arms. Oh no, I would just do Reeve but give him crocodiles for arms. I don't think anything could defeat that. Because surely like a dragon is almost the elements of the scariest creepy combined. And they did exist. Bats, can I get your thoughts on this right? Because we've talked about this before on the

show. And I say dragons genuinely did exist because in various parts of different cultures right at the origins when they un-contacted each other, they all had depictions of dragons and there's loads of stories dating back when there was no cross thing. So do you think in your opinion dragons exist or the counter argument is a dragon is the evolution evolutionary accumulation of like humans biggest fears like when you sharp teeth big so it's like maybe it's a coincidence because we're coming to that. I reckon it's a coincidence. It's like anything that's like mythical is just a combination of animal.

Is it mythical because you have dinosaurs so maybe those dragons. Yeah but you could say that about God, there's like 3000 gods. No but they're not all the exact same. You're a smart man. But I think the dragons they make are all different as well. They are yeah. Like a Chinese dragon is very different from a Chinese dragon. That is the whole of me arguing with.

I hope you wouldn't say that one. The Chinese dragon is so fucking different but like it's still a dragon. But also the Chinese dragon is a mythical one because it's for the new year. They're all mythical. Fucking dragon. But they are all mythical. No, but we have dinosaurs. Louis is the only person that's confirming them as real.

To answer Louis's question, where are the fossils? As I said earlier, they've been burned by other dragons to make sure. Oh, to hide it. Who's the last remaining dragon? He could be onto something what Komodo dragon don't they burn the others well they have lost their ability to blow flames now haven't they okay and much smaller than so where the fossils of the last ever dragon in the ocean may never died maybe they do go into hiding every thousand years that's what they do in like the story.

Every thousand years, they're like the reborn. Right. I kept trying to say this earlier, but I kept getting rudely interrupted by everyone. Have you seen the video of that polar bear in the Arctic? And you know, you know, like on planet earth and that they have to sit there in these little shelters for like weeks on end. And this polar bears like stalking trying to get into the shelter. Have you seen it?

Yeah. It's a banging on the window. It's like a clear... Oh sorry for rudely interrupting you for that one. Oh fuck. That one hurt. It's a good one. Isn't the one where it's like the clear shelter like it's windows you can see through it. No the better stuff than that is like have you seen it when they're trying to photograph penguins so like they make like a pig penguin who's like the robot, can you search robot penguin please? It looks so- I already imagined it to be really bad. It looks so shit.

They don't take it in though. Yeah, yeah they do. They probably do. They put- I think that's all right surely. That's that fucking ice cream. Yeah. No, no, no.

Oh, they used to slap. You know they- That one there. It's got fucking wheels. So this is the sad thing, right? So the penguins, it fell over and the wheels broke and it wouldn't work. But all the other penguins thought that it was a baby penguin that died. And they all started, they all started morning the robot. Yeah. They all started like being really upset. I put more effort in, couldn't they? They actually have broken the law recently. What, penguins? Not the penguins, but it was to do with the penguins. So you know when they go film these documentaries and that they have a rule where

they're not allowed to like- I know what you're about to say, it wasn't recently. It was ages ago, yeah. Years ago. They just resurfaced, but I know it, yeah. Oh, I fucking c***ed up then. What do you do when... Say though, because they might not see that. So the whole rule is you're not allowed to intervene in nature when they're filming these programs. You can't do anything. As sad as it is, you can't do anything. But they basically broke the law and said,

Fuck this, we're rescuing this little penguin or something. Was it? No, no. Both of them, they were all stuck in like this. It was because they were all just jumping to their death. I feel like they intervened because it wasn't like they were scavenging another predator who was trying to haunt them. All they did, they gave them an escape route. Yeah because it wasn't like they were all the time. I didn't know the predator who was trying to hold it. They gave them a scape route. Yeah. It was just needless death at that point. I was just a bunch of suicide penguins. Maybe they're also imagine if you was trying to kill yourself as a penguin,

but can you fuck off? You know what I read this morning is, um, it's illegal to own one guinea pig in Switzerland. Yes it is. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. Why? Because they become very lonely and depressed. So the law states that you have to have at least two. I've got a guinea pig fact as well.

So did you know that a lot of people bury, or hamsters, sorry, a lot of people bury the hamsters. They're not the same. That is not the same at all. People bury... Actually, you can imagine a lion. A lot of people bury the hamsters thinking it's dead, because it's really cold and it's like that and not moving. But they're actually still alive because they conserve energy

and they go really cold and they don't move. And even if you shake it, they won't move. So hamsters are always getting buried alive, because they wake back up and they're in the ground. That is for the render. But how would the owner back up and they're in the ground. That is correct. But how would the owner know that it's still in the ground alive? No, like- You don't?

No, they don't. They think the hamster's dead. Yeah. And hamsters are like, we're now finding amazing ways to kill themselves. Oh, they just die. That is true. Do they even exist in the wild, hamsters? Surely not.

I don't know, man. I've never thought about that. The absolute bottom of the food. How was that surviving? Can you even get- is that even an animal? Do we just make that thing? I've never thought of that. The absolute bottom of the food. Yeah, well, it is. I almost had surviving. Can you even get, is that even an animal? Do we just make that thing? Maybe it was huge and we cross-bred it down to a ham.

Oh, God. Where are they? Oh, look at them. Oh, look at them. They're from Asia. Oh, they're just, oh. They're fantastic. That's just a pathetic species.

It's a pathetic species, isn't it? They love dying. What's it eat, a worm? Yeah. Flies. That'll probably kill it. What's it eat, a worm? Probably. Flies. That'll probably kill it. Ugh! Ugh!

What the fuck is that? That's Lewis. That's Lewis's morning. How do you choose what to talk about on your pod? Do you do this? Yeah, can you create some help? No, we just have a list. Oh, does someone research it or you guys put?

Yeah, our producer, yeah. Okay. Our producer, yeah. I started making a list of things that happen and research it or you guys put? Yeah, I produce it, yeah. Okay. I produce it, yeah. I start making a list of things that happen and then I'll write it down now and say, oh, talk about that. No. Just in life.

News. Yeah, or like for instance, I was gonna talk about on the pod. There's some people that, well, everything's 50-50. Yeah, true. What do you mean? What the fuck does that mean? It happens or doesn't.

You win the lottery or you don't. Yeah. You win the lottery or you don't. Oh, well Yeah. You win the lottery. You either die or you don't. That's not 50 chance, mate. That's not how some people perceive. And it really pisses Arthur off. And so I just started to, you know, 50 50. But he doesn't believe in free will. Well, it's 50 50. Yeah, he thinks it's 100% conversation with.

What's the point? Everything he thinks what will happen. What it's 50-50. Yeah, he thinks it's 100%. I'm at this conversation with Adam. What's the point in everything? He thinks what will happen will always happen. So I believe that as well. Do we? Yeah, I do. You were always going to do that. You were always going to do that. I wasn't because if you... Oh, 50-50. You were or you weren't. If you didn't bring that up, I wouldn't have done it. Yeah, but I was always going to bring it up. Do you not think that answer is... it's an answer that is different for the subject level you ask it on? Because like if there's free will in terms of God in the new universe, then possibly not. But if there's personal free will, then there would be. I just don't think there's any. He was always going to do that.

I think Reeve is trying to come on your podcast right now. I'm asking the question. Yeah, we can bring you on for free will. It's a trial. Well, do you think you have free will then? Absolutely. I think we you a question. It's a trial. Yeah, we could bring you on for free will. It's a trial. Well, do you think you have free will then? Do you think you can do it? Absolutely.

I think we can choose what we want to do, yeah. What you don't think that's... What do you want to do right now? No, no, but I think it's different if you ask it on the level of the universe, then obviously that's always predetermined. But if you ask it on a personal level of me individually, I think then we do have free will. What do you want to do?

Yeah, but if it's... Is that what you're... Me? No. What do you mean then no free will? Who's in charge of that? I'm thinking, like, in general in the universe, What do you mean then no free will? Who's in charge of that? I'm so like, in general in the universe, if you think there's no free will in general in the universe,

then you can't have free will. You can't then just have free will if there's no... But you think there's no free will? ...if everything's determined anyway. No, I don't. I mean, yes I do. I think there is free will, because I can choose to do what I want to do.

Yeah, I agree. But the thing is, you were always going to do that. I think... You don't have free will in the brain, but like not able... Because I always used to do what I want to do. Yeah, I agree. But the thing is, you were always going to do that. I think I don't have free will in the brain, but like not because I always used to look over backfields and I used to look over there and I'm like, I could just like get out my car and walk all the way over there. Yeah. Like I never do. So do we have free will? You were always going to do that. Do you think that, but isn't that quite nihilistic though? Cause then you just choose not to do anything then. No, I think it's a nice way to live because if you don't think you have free will,

you'll never have regrets. Cause you were always going to make that decision anyway. I think pop out. Yeah. I think it is as well. Cause that means if you have like a life that's not when nice for you, that's kind of like just, that's a bit bullshit. Like it's like, it was always going to be shit. I couldn't even impact it.

That's a fucking one. You can change your outcome. You can change your outcome. You can I don't think you can decide how the rest of your life goes. I think it was always gonna go like that So I know but your your choices your choices make Your choices make a difference to the path you end up on though. That's that's never you always make that choice Oh was 50-50 You don't believe in free will, that's how you think about it.

So why the fuck are we even here then? What are we doing? Yeah, good point. See, I have this issue with philosophy and psychology and all those ologies. Is that- One was off of- Biology.

Biology, physiology, not physiology. Physiology. Physology. Physology. Physology. Physology. Hang on. The only issue is that too many people like to think too deeply into things.

So for example, like you could have this argument with Waffle the other day. He has no thoughts. We had this argument with Waffle the other day and they were trying to like deep this thought of like, is the table really here or is it just, we think it's there. Yeah, that's stupid. Yeah. It's talking there. What's the point of like...

If you're so... If you question everything all the time, you'll never be in the now. And sometimes there's a lot of things you don't need to know, or how they work, you just know. I know that it was there. It doesn't need any thought. That's sort of like with art in it, where they're just being pretentious and looking really deep into it. You can think deep about some stuff, but that is pointless. No, no, no, that's not the same. That's subjective of how you view something.

He's talking about, there's no need to be that. No, but they're trying to do it to try and sound clever. But the tables there, there's not even a conversation to be had. No, that's not the same. It is. Because art is how you view it to be perceived. No, but they're just gonna keep it sound smart.

This table is always there. That's got nothing to do with what the point was. For example, for example, Lou. It is. A dog's perception of the world But it's always it's got nothing to do with what the point is for example for example Lou Perception of the world's all black and white colorless that's sepia Okay fucking shoot me I'm just saying this is It's like like brownish and white no, it's like a brownishy, purpley brown. So that's what my dog sees when I'm going, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yeah, I just think what is it all like whether we got free will or not who cares do you know gazelles see in one worry about it Don't worry about it. Yeah, just don't worry about it. Yeah exactly

I don't know free will you know if you don't just don't worry about it Yeah, I have a gazelle fact about eyesight We never gonna know how lions are orange and you think it's shit camouflage. No, it's not a gazelle sees it And it's actually green and their vision. Yeah, so so that green camouflage to their, oh sorry, their tigers. So they camouflage to the predator, to the victim.

Yeah. What do you call it? So what did they see green as green though? Their green must be orange. Yeah, I saw that. But then they still stand. So you don't even know if it's red or green. But then they stand out.

They see everything as green. But also they still stand out. So you don't even know if it's relative. But then they stand out. They see everything is green. But also, I see everything is fucking green. Lou, I saw the same TikTok you were on about. Come on, what are they? I pose this question to you. We can't ask for you to decide. They get all their nods from TikTok. Crazy.

I pose this question. Go on then. They're going bad for bad on TikTok. How? Just fucking forward. Neither of them knows the full TikTok. Dogs can't speak English. Dogs, yeah.

Okay. How on earth do we know what they see and what colour? I could just investigate their eyeball. What the fuck are you on about? How do you know the dog sees in sepia? I have a good... They would have been tests done. They're just testing their eyes and their brain. If you could ask.

When they die. They're not speaking to them. I don't know. I'm not a fucking scientist. I don't know. If you could ask them. How? Or vet.

I don't know. If you could ask an animal one question, what animal would it be? Dog do you understand me? And what question would it be? Dog do you understand me? Dog do you understand me? Well that's a shit question. Why?

It goes yes or no? Because every time you speak to your dog, you do question like, is it listening to me? But you know they understand what you're getting. That's a really good question. I thought that was really deep. They know what you're getting at. They know because of the sound and how you're saying it. Exactly. But if you're talking to it like, hey mate, how are you feeling? It's just looking like this. What would you do? I think you've got it. Exactly. But if you're talking to it like, hey mate, how are you feeling? It's just looking at you like this. How, what would you do? That answers your question. No, I think you've got to.

Who does that to their dog? Hi mate, how you doing? I think we don't give Theo a question, we gotta give someone else two. Also, you're just completely diminishing it. That's a great question. Do you understand me? Ask your dog.

How do you know you're finding out your dog actually understands what you're saying? I know she gets the gist of what I'm saying, by my tone. You've asked her, she doesn't understand, she'll know food means she's getting food. But you've asked the one word, he can only give a one word answer. She doesn't understand the word food as what we see food as.

I know, but if you spoke to her and said like, Hey, do you think I should do this? Like, hold your pour out, you think I should do this or not? You think it's a good idea? No, she does it because she thinks it's a good idea. She does it because she knows she gets a treat. You think it's a good idea. No, she does it because she thinks it's a good idea. She does it because she knows she gets a treat. I think it's a good idea. Go through my investment advice.

Imagine you find out. That's what it is. Don't have any knowledge. The stocks are looking dodgy. Do you think I should invest? Yeah, but you get one question to ask any animal, and you go, you all right? Do you understand her?

Imagine you find out if your dog genuinely understands you. It probably does, fair enough. You're asking a closed question. You want to ask like a dolphin an open questions so you have a big answer. Also when we ask the question, do they have to answer? They will answer and they're able to answer and you completely understand them, but then it's back to normal. You can now understand them anymore.

You have to have one animal, one question. I'd ask like a deep sea dweller, is there any sign of like alien life? Oh yeah. I think I'd go to dolphins. Dolphins are walkers, because they're like, dolphins are supposed to be like, like really into it.

And maybe ask them something about. If you can communicate to them, it doesn't matter how unintelligent they are. I'd ask dolphins, what are your opinions on humans? That's worse than asking dolphins. That's really good. That's actually really good.

Because dolphins are from Dirty Biles. Because they're intelligent enough to come up with an actual opinion. But dolphins like humans. What's your opinion on humans? Oh yeah. No, that's really good because dolphins are dirty by the way, because they're intelligent enough to come up with an actual opinion Dolphins like humans? What's your opinion on humans? Oh yeah, that's quite impartial Any animal is going to come up with an opinion because that's the whole point of the question

Theo, you went to objectively quite a thick animal and asked a yes or no question No, dogs have the intelligence of a two year old child Yeah, that's quite a thick question A two year old child is not going to give you one animal You've gone for a dolphin because you think they're smart, but every animal child is not going to give you one answer. An animal. You've gone for a dolphin because you think they're smart, but every animal hypothetically is going to give you an answer. It doesn't matter how smart they are.

Yeah, but you're going to get a better answer from a smarter animal. All the answers the dolphin is going to give you is like, don't really mind them. Of course you are, no. That's part of the question. Yeah, no. You have to think about the animal you're asking because of their intelligence level. You never said that. No, no, no, no, no.

It goes without saying which animal. If you can communicate to them anyway, it doesn't matter how dumb they are, they'd still give you an answer. Yes, but you gave an answer. You wouldn't be able to ask a dog, what's your thoughts on philosophy? No, no, no, but you wouldn't fucking understand. You couldn't do a dolphin a rock. I'm understanding a fact from this animal. Do you understand me, yes or no? You've asked for an opinion. Yes, an open question so I get more of a yes

Oh, what are they gonna say? Yeah humans. All right. Yeah, that's what I have asked for They're trying to put mine down. I've asked an intelligent animal How smart they are doesn't matter. It does matter. It's my question dickhead. I came up with it But you said originally doesn't matter what the animal is. They understand you. Yeah about you So on some level they're all that they're all the same intelligence because they're talking to us No, but a dolphin could definitely this is the question A dolphin on a orca A dolphin on a orca could give

A dolphin on a orca I can't get what you're saying here Or you might ask an elephant because they never forget That would be a good one Oh that would be a good one Asking a 300 year old tortoise That'd be a good one. What? Oh, that'd be a good one. That'd be asking a 300 year old tortoise. That would be good. No, no, no, no, no. Elephants just because they're old doesn't mean they're like 2000 years old.

Yeah, they pass on information though. Do they? Yeah, they actually do. Elephants pass on information about like watering and where water holes and where they're here. That's true. Because some water spots. That's not useful for you though. Yeah, some water spots only pass by.

What elephant are you going to ask that has ancestry that traces back all the way back to Jesus? I think that turtle might be a good shout. Yeah, yeah. A really old turtle. A really old turtle's a shout. I'd be like, who's the biggest dickhead you've ever met? I'm surprised you said that one, angry today, aren't you? It's the worst dickhead in the battle. Three times now.

Yeah, I actually don't have an answer for that. That's the thing. Yeah, a crazy answer to yours was though, like asking a dolphin the opinion of humans. I think I had two bad choices from you guys. Oh! No, but Theo. Oh! Because the rule of the question is they understand you and can answer it.

You've just asked. You asked how are you and they go, well your one question is like, yeah not bad. I didn't ask how are you. You said, can you understand me? You alright mate? I said, do you actually understand said, you said, can you understand me? You're right, mate. I said, do you actually understand me? Or is it just like you understand? Well, at that point they'd say yes.

But that was the question. They have to say yes. When you're not at a normal outside of the sense of this communication. Oh, so you're saying can all dogs as breeds understand you? Yes. Can we pretend the dog's here? That's a good question. Can we pretend the dog's here?

And can you word it how you would? So the dog's here. Yeah. Can you word it to the dog's here? Can we pretend the dog's here and can you word it how you would? So the dog's here, can you word it to the dog there? Hello mate, good to finally chat to you. You know like before and after we have this magical conversation, do you genuinely understand me or are you just like... I need to go... Yeah, I understand you. So like when I'm speaking to you about... No, no, that's it, that's it.

That's it, you're surprised. And then he's so, woof, woof, woof. Brilliant. Have you got a dog, family dog? Have you ever had one? I don't know. That's more, that's a stupid, honestly, mate, they know what you're saying.

Even just, even body language. I thought you had a dog, that's why you wanted to ask the question, no? I've been around dogs. No, yeah, no. I've seen them before. I wouldn't waste that on my dog, because I know she doesn't understand the gist. Obviously, it's not the same language, but the tones as well.

I could say to her, do you want me to chop your head off? Should I chop your head off? And she'd be jumping up and she doesn't understand the words. It's all tone. Maybe they can. Also, you could... That'd be the same. I wouldn't jump up and down if he's got threatened to chop my head off.

That'd be the same if I spoke to someone from Africa, but they'd be able to understand my body language or tone or understand the words I'm saying. What do you language is huge with dogs as well? You can have a cock out. She knows his plate. I would pick. I would pick. I pick him.

What a chimpanzee. Oh, you're asking him because he's going to kick off. I would say, are you jealous? Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Hold that. Are they still evolving? So they could have become us? We're always evolving. No. There's no pressure for them. So they just hit a dead end. It's a different branch. So they're just dead end now.

No, yeah. We have the pressure to come down from the trees. They don't have that pressure. So if we put pressure on them. We already put pressure on them. Pressure's retired. At the saddest thing, we are putting pressure on them because we're deforestation, brother. True, actually. Because we're deforestation. What's so funny about that? It's because you didn't phrase it right. You said because we're deforestation brother. True actually. Because we're deforestation. What's so funny about that?

It's because you didn't phrase it right. You said because we deforestation brother. We do deforestation? Yeah. You find deforestation funny do you? By the way you say it funny. Do you find it funny? No I don't like it.

Good boy. Oh maybe they... Good boy. Oh damn. Maybe they will be forced down from the trees because of deforestation. Bad isn't it? Are we evolved? Urbanization of the chimps.

Devolving. Oh we're going to run outving. No we're not, we're evolving. I tell you what animal is evolving. What? The fox. Oh why? They are because say 20 30 years ago, they wouldn't be as Essentially brave as they are now like they are so used to humans and living in urban environments that you can walk up like a footway They're just so calm. Mm-hmm rarely attack. I've never seen a fox change Four little things got one broken up really really sad. I'm surprised foxes haven't been domesticated Have you seen the video of the guys fucking cute?

Yeah, the video the guy saying I on since these people have bust up like the fox is fine. There's one right there. He's like, look, he's lovely. He goes up a stroke and it just bites us. They still like some of them are little like little twats. Yeah, they're wild animals. I've heard them when they shag as well. You see that wild animal been biting people. When they're fighting, innit?

I don't know, when I first moved here, when I first moved here, there was the craziest noises. I'm like, what bird is that? Fox is shagging. Isn't it a thing though, if a fox comes close to you during the day, it's because they got something wrong with them. Really? Well, it has got like a broken arm.

It's a pair of them. But then how they both got into a pig fight. Also, isn't it desperation for food and stuff? That's why they're around humans. They go through bins and that. Because of all the food waste, that's another issue we should discuss. Would you say, would you say there's such thing as waste of food, but just because a human isn't eating it? I was going

to either get eaten or not. But it wasn't going to go over to another part of the country. But you put it in the bin, something's going to eat it. Not necessarily. Yeah, that's true. No, microorganisms. Go to a dump. Yeah microorganism will eat it Are you advocating microorganism? No, but I'm saying there is there such thing as what you should do Microworganism, that's Bro, yeah, that's why I think that's why I think you should be buried because you're gonna get eaten essentially by all these little things And you're where I'm giving back to life. How long would it take for the microorganism to eat banana? I Don't know man

Is that the same as erosion? No Erosion is like water on rock. Not erosion. Sorry Like wind and water on rock. You put a banana on the floor and it just like decay Decay. Yeah, it's because microorganisms. If you put a banana on like Mars where there's nothing it would stay like that That's why the bodies actually bodies on top of Everest don't really decompose because there's a banana on Mars where there's nothing, it would stay like that. That's why the bodies on top of Everest don't really decompose because there's no life. Also because they're frozen. Yeah, but also there's no life to break it down.

These microorganisms can't survive up there. But surely we'd get a banana on one of these missions and we'd put it on Mars with a single microorganism and then we'd see how long the banana lasts. Question, space question, space question. You know if we went up into space and went outside the space shuttle, we'd just blow up, right? Yeah. Is that true?

No, no, no, no, no. In a vacuum. What was that question? You sort of, your head likes. Yeah, you explode. And you go out into space without a suit, you just blow up. That's true, that's what happens.

Well, it's sort of true. You kind of blow up, you actually expand. It's true. You don't blow up, you expand. That is blowing up. That's not blowing up. You expand. You kind of broke it. It's true. You're not blowing up, you're expanding. That is blowing up. That's not blowing up. To a point where you'd explode, yeah. I thought you were picturing like you walk out.

Ah, look at me, I'm so dumb. You're fucking wrong, shut your mouth. Anyway, back to our... Yeah, but over a period of time, you wouldn't think it'd blow up. Adults are talking. Adults are talking. I thought on Star Wars and stuff. Oh yeah, that documentary.

Star Wars. You get your space knowledge from Star Wars, mate. See Princess later. Why don't you let the Adults talk? This is because I called him Dickhead before. That's what he thinks fucking Bigfoot's really about. He's not going to have his eyes and dry up. So if humans expand and blow up, what happens to like, if you just put a banana in space?

I don't know. Would that blow up? Don't, I don't know. Oh, don't ask me. Don't look at me. What happens to that? I've got fucking no idea. I don't know.

What happens with a banana in the back here? I can't tell you if you put a banana, I don't know. I don't know. Wait, so what happens to humans in space? Why do we blow up like that? I don't understand it. I thought you crystallised. There's no air, like there's nothing, no pressure keeping you together. Lack of pressure. So you just...

Expansion, isn't it? But how does it happen to this like space? So probably would happen to a banana. What about the space shots? Why do they not do that? I don't know actually. I never thought about it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. If you go to a...

Well, they are pressurised. The cabins are pressurised. So there is something keeping them out against the pressure of. I see the inside is keeping the outside out. Do you not implode like on that underwater thing, ocean, that's when you got loads of pressure outside. That's too much pressure, in verse, isn't it? Do you know when-

It expands to whatever the- If you go into a black hole, the term is genuinely spaghettification. But if you go to a black hole, like you stretch- That's anti-matter, isn't it? Like the guy I was fantastic for, and you go into a black hole, the term is genuinely spaghettification. But if you go to a black hole, you stretch like the guy I was fantastic for and you go like really long. Black holes are different though. That's because the gravity at the top of your head is so different to the bottom of your legs.

You die though, you will die. Implode. Well, you actually will. Because your body is biological. You end up in a library of what you can't ever know. So if your body gets stretched, you're dead. Well, we don't know. We probably just know.

We don't know what's in there. To the outside observer, you see this guy gets spaghettified, but he's on the other side. In a bookcase. Gone through. Going towards the singularity. So yeah, in a bookcase. Surely we're going to...

He's watching his daughter. What's the nearest black car? How far are we talking? I love the fairways. Center of the Milky Way. The Milky Way is 100 light years across. Okay, so it's 50 light years away. Probably, yeah, because we're quite far out. So how long will that take?

No, 100,000 light years, sorry. 100,000 light years. Oh, 100,000. So 50,000 light years. And it's a supermassive black hole as well. Supermassive. How... They were the first ever banter play at the New Wembley, weren't they?

Anyway. Hypothetically speaking, could we go at the speed of light? Muse? No, anything with mass can't go at the speed of light. Just short of it. Yeah. The theory is like you go through a wormhole, isn't it?

Really? If wormholes are real, yeah, that's the only thing. And they could be possible. So that's like, like space is like flat, but you fold the piece of paper and then go through. I know. Have I've seen that Yeah, what space absolutely blows your mind every time you think about it. What what space fact absolutely blows your mind I thought you were about to tell you know what space fact

What space fact does blow my mind what's the best place what you got you studied astrophysics? Yeah, that's fucking cool man Yeah, I don't remember much I love that was so space You pass yeah with what I got to one that's fucking good That's the best that's the best mark isn't it because it shows that you're not too dedicated to the court Yeah, you had a good time. Yeah, you had a good time. It was open nerd. Yeah, it's all on Oh, I think I've seen you so yeah. Yeah, what's the best fact in your arsenal that you like to whip out? Or in your ass or in my ass

I don't know what the I think the coolest thing to me is thinking about like aliens and stuff and there is a chance there's like life and loving in the Oceans on like Jupiter's and Saturn's moons. That would make the most sense because water needs... Because they got like a frozen crust. I thought they found microbes on there already. Not yet, they haven't actually found any microbes that like... Wait, say that again. So on Jupiter and Saturn's moons...

Yeah. There's water. Well, because there's like liquid oceans underneath the crust of ice. How do we know that? Oh, because they send satellites and you can use like... How the hell? That's kind of mad, isn't it? There's a satellite that's left for the solar system now. Yeah, I think a lot of people are to even do that, by the way. How about, I was told the other day that the moon is hollow. Is this... Is this seeing this? The hollow moon?

No, it's not hollow. Could be. I dunno. Well, yeah. It's not. That's what the Egyptian kind. I've always told you it was made of cheese. No, no, no. The theory is right, it's because the moon is the exact sort of like fraction of the sun. So we get the perfect eclipse as an exact place that helps the Titan like essentially makes the earth work. Why would it be hollow though? Because apparently the weight of it doesn't add up to the size. It's one of the biggest moons. And it also never rotate fully. It never rotates fully as well because of how it's positioned. Isn't that just both gravitational? It's just a theory.

I mean, it just has a lot of coincidences with the moon. Question. Why we not been back to the moon? It's not worth it. It costs like so much money and what do you get out of it? There was a space race just to say you were the first one there, but then you don't get much out of it. We're not like drill Also, we have been back haven't we?

No, not man, but we've been back to the moon and Collected stuff and data no? I mean there's a... since the Apollo mission I don't get what there is to do there Why are they looking to colonise Mars and not the moon? No, they'll go moon first and then they'll... Is that like a face camp? They're just doing it because... They can.

And also Elon Musk really wants to go to Mars. If there wasn't him putting pressure, I don't think we'd do it. I don't understand why we want to live on Mars. Life on Mars, man, it's just not the one. No. Multi-planetary, that's all, isn't it? Why? Quite cool. Just...

I think it's... That's the next step of civilization, though, isn't it? That's what... It's World War Briggs. It's either that or we transcend and become like part of AI. You could argue that life on Mars would actually be the death on Earth. Because the amount of wars that could start over who governs Mars. Yeah. Imagine the- Who governs Earth?

Imagine instead of World Cup you've got Mars versus Earth. It's not government of Earth. What did you say? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah, isn't it mental that we've got... It would have been one, what are you on about? We'll just run like one unit. It would be like UN that would like... Do you think Mars would be like a group of... It would have to be like, there's no countries on Mars. You have to create a country, there's no seas to divide countries. There's technically no countries here, like it's just a bit of land and then someone writes a line on a map.

What's the difference between Scotland and England? Nothing. Yeah, but that's what you're deepening now. There's laws that differentiate between countries, otherwise we could just say there's no laws anywhere on well He's not like you want to get to prison. Oh, what is if you go to Mars? I say America get there first. Yeah, they're gonna be like well I think that there's like international laws in place that you can't claim any any part of anything. Yeah Yeah, you can't on the alien thing. What's also like a lot of things and that's true. What's your thoughts on like?

Why can't we see them? Because if you look at earth, all you see is like you can see light and see satellites and all that stuff yeah then we look out everywhere else and we can't see shit yeah so what is in why so like is it either aliens hide in where they are? Hmm, oh don't exist the just we're just a fluke Or the exists, but you haven't evolved to a point where they can create stuff like this They're just like little fucking dinosaurs on that. We might be the most developed species. Yeah, we might have been like really Substantial I mean if they're advanced enough they they make it so that they could never be detected So if they're way more advanced than us, yeah, we wouldn't see us. Yes catch 22

Me more us idiots would be like we're here come say hello Yeah Well what what the same with AI is they seem like at one point AI is gonna come smarter than us and then the question You already said it is the question that's coming around is well no I'll tell you about the AI blackmailing people Yeah, blackmailing people. I so essentially right they were trying to put a kill switch into this form of AI. And then what they did to test if it was becoming sentient was they give the AI fake emails of a co-worker like cheating on his wife. And essentially the AI started, I think it was 20% of the time, the AI would use the emails to blackmail the coder into not making them put a kill

switch in. Really? And then another percentage of the times the AI just refused to put a kill switch in or put in like an override for itself. And like it's like the question is like when it becomes sentient and smarter than us, is it not the smartest thing to let AI be the president? Because if it knows more than everyone. But don't you think if it was the president because if it knows more than everyone but don't you think if it was that the world the president don't you think don't you think if it was that for the same reason that we're saying like if aliens are that advanced they want to remain undetected don't you think if AI was that advanced it

wouldn't want us to know that it was sent oh that's what I mean but like we're seeing we're genuine seeing signs now, and this is not bullshit. Like there's genuine signs that it is sent, you know, making decisions for itself to preserve itself. That's how it hides in plain sight and then takes control of everything. Oh, I hadn't thought about that.

That it could be like faking, fake like dumbing itself down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's already fully fucking sent you in a shit. How do you stop AI batch? You can't, I don't think. I think that's the wrong answer. Wrong answer.

Wrong answer. Fuck on, mate. Why? Turn it off, mate. Turn it off. Unplug it. Wait, 50-50, that works. No, if you turn it off, it can't come back on.

My theory about aliens is I think- Take the bug out. Yeah, but there ain't no, it will find a way. No, you know, say, where's AI on a big server, right? Yeah. Yeah, if you just, say, where's A.O.? On a big server, right? Yeah. Yeah, if you just unplug the server, no power. No, but not all A.I. is on that. What if it just turns itself back on though?

That's the problem. It will find a way. If it turns itself back on. Yeah, then they've discovered a new way to use electricity. They probably have. Yeah. So my fear of aliens is, I think it's like us to like I think they're that

They're that far like advanced from us and they've already studied us. Yeah, they're not bothered about us Well, there is a thing where it's like we don't look at an ant and go and the ant doesn't know we're looking at them They just I think it's like a farm for aliens like they're keeping us What we're a place that's like full of like water, like liquid water, it's like, it's very rare across the universe. No, I get that. But what, but my theory is, but then I'm coming down and using my theory of aliens is another civilization. They are just AI, but what does AI have that we don't have that we have like, you're going like a conscious way down the rabbit hole here man

aliens are AI and they find farmers for our souls yeah we had this before we had this we did this in backside episode three or what normally we're not doing that again well guys i know what you're waiting for and that ladies and gentlemen is episode two of Pitcher. So three. Three. Three. We've done three. So three of Pitcher. Yeah. And this time we are doing Super Villain.

So we're designing our own Super Villain. Has to have a name, a backstory. What does he do? Potentially a sidekick. Why is it E.E. Lewis? Well mine is E. How, is yours a she? How it commits its crimes, et cetera. Mine is sexual a she how it commits crimes?

Yeah, except for mine is any other practical lines no If yours isn't called cock man, I would be very fine gender either in the end mine could be either Mine's quite realistic. Oh Is it actually nothing money's a man mine's more like a real annoyance, but you'll see introducing the first super villain, presentation by Lewis Bowden. Open my eyes. Who the f... Why is like... I don't know why it went to the right.

Why is it up centre? I genuinely don't know why it went to the right. I know why. It's because mine did this as well. Yeah. And you have to re-centre it on tech. Why is it doing that? Also Lewis, lower case on the E, upper case on the S.

I do. I just want to preface this. I did this really quickly. By Lewis Bowden. My Evil Supervillain by Lewis Bowden. Next slide. Thank you. What's the worst slash best feeling in the world? Oh, going for a wee. I'll go for a wee. Barting was going for a wee.

Yeah. No. I can't even see the tears. The worst feeling is, oh God, probably when your missus wants to torture. Best feeling is when your missus doesn't want to torture. Anyone else? Any suggestions? When your bull sack sticks to your leg and you peel it off. Close? Oh that is very close, yeah.

Do you know when... When you're desperate for a wee and you finally get to a toilet. That's probably the best thing. Or worst feeling is when someone gets a pair of scissors and cuts your bollocks off. Yeah, that would hurt. That would be shit, yeah. How often do you feel that? Wouldn't be great. When you get decapitated and then a group of monkeys fuck the hole that's in your head

left. Or chronic loneliness. That's not good either, yeah. Well, luckily my super villain would stop that from happening. Or how about those... Is that a laugh from Will, by the way? How about those worms burrow in your eyes and then eat their way out? Next slide, please.

It is actually. Fucking hell. Fucking hell. You gotta blur that. Jesus. Dude, is that me? The best worst feeling. It actually is.

That's thick. I wanna know what Lewis is Googling. How thick is that cock? This the final race. Also, is his cock like swollen in the middle? You know what I love about it? It's like the lolly. What's that fucking rocket lolly? It's like a rocket lolly. It's like the lolly, what's that fucking rocket lolly? I love how your brain works, the only super villain you could

think of is literally what we were talking about you getting a boner yesterday. Do you know what the bad thing is right? I feel like, as I was writing the super villain I started realising it was my origin story. I put money, I had serious money on this being something Tom was going to produce. No, I have fucking class mate. Is it the best or the worst? What is it? Well, it's a grid. Well, you're going to find out. This is the best and worst feeling. Next slide please.

It's at the same time. Because honestly, this presentation is so shit. When is an erection good? When you're about to kick someone a pound down. But when's it bad? When you're at a funeral, an event, you don't want it. That's not true, what if it's a sex funeral? Sex funeral? The classic sex funeral.

I love how he's nearly departed. I just went through and I was like- Someone's first ever time using Powerpoint. I went through and I was like, is this shit? And I put a hard highlight. That's a good presentation. If this is taking any more than three minutes,

I would be serious. Wait, what if it's Bonnie Blue's funeral, she would be turning in a grave if you didn't get a boner? Her funeral, imagine how weird her funeral would be. Anyways, next slide. Okay, right. I introduce to you, Dr. Boner, it was actually supposed to be

Dr. Boner who doesn't have a cock. He's got shit in his cape. It was actually needles in his cape. Zero penis. Why's it got needles in his cape? It's real. No, Bona. It was supposed to be Doctor B.

But it just didn't work properly. This is Jack DBT photos. You only get five photos made. No, I designed it this morning. So there he is. Doctor B. Oh, Doctor Bona. Doctor B. So there he is. Dr. B owner or Dr. Borner. Next slide. Dr. B owner. So he's the backstory.

What the fuck? Someone's just cut us straight. That's a real person. Me, Paul. Paul, he isn't really a hit with the ladies. Why did you talk into Google to get that? I think I typed in like speccy dweeby nerd boy or something. And you came up. And I kept searching. I mean the Mount Cock pictures I looked at for the other slide is

like, I had to find like the right one. One day he was finally going to get his dick wet and then suddenly the worst happened. He couldn't get a stiffy. He couldn't get a stiffy. Couldn't get a stiffy. So he went home. Yeah, question? Couldn't he just take liagra? Oh, we're going to get onto this. Ooh, psychic. He couldn't get a stiffy.

What's liagra? It was an awful time for him. You know, he was embarrassed, he couldn't get a stiffy. So he went, it was an awful time for me. You know, he was embarrassed. He was sad. You know, this is the girl he loved. Next slide please. So he goes home. I feel like I'm going yet. Is that him? Well, lads, we haven't casted the role yet. So I just want to, you Oh, I don't want to be like the Professor Snape situation, where it's like, oh, it has to be how it's written. It can be either way when we do the film. Right, right, got you, got you.

Wait, it's not... We're not producing a film, then? It's going to spin off into a film. That was the last picture. Am I got... So why has Goon replaced Wank? I don't like that. It's just going off to Goon, Phil, it feels like he's lived for... A bit more than that. I've never heard Goon in one like that.

Yeah, it is, because it's from the Goon Shake. That's what you do, you Goon in your Goon Shake. No, I don't use it. That's not what he's in a presentation. Shitty American, gross. Goon's got legs. Are you advocating Goon? I hate Goon.

Are you telling me, if you're a Gooner, you're a wanker. Fuck! I'm a Gooner! Because I'm also a fan. So he went off to have a nice wank and then suddenly, as he had his personal clarity, he was about to climax, he felt a sharp pain. And he felt a burning and tingling around his body. I'm struggling to understand how this is related to the... This is long.

He starts to glow and it's like, oh... Oh, he controls anyone that wanks! His wank was so, like, depressing and so hate and so hate fueled and so self-depriving, he began to change into something else. Next slide. He became Dr. Boner. He lost genitals, all the pain he felt channeled into his own body. His big brain allows him to sense all erections at all times.

Is that villainy? Yes. Is that villainy? Yes. Is that cockwad? Well, what's he going to do to them? Well, he could have turned good, but he had so much anger from not being able to actually lose his virginity before losing his genitals. But what makes him a villain? In fact, he just knows when he knows people have got a bone on.

He uses his power for bad. So essentially his big brain allows him to sense all erections. His cape helps him hide and run. Next slide,. What does he do? Basically he just goes around, hides in the people's bushes, and he gives them erectile dysfunction. So like, say you're about to shag. He goes, he also goes to weddings and stuff. No, no, no, no. He gives people boners at the wedding. Hang on, hang on.

Wedding and stuff. Weddings and stuff. I understand, I understand his powers are sensing erections, but how does he give them dysfunction? He controls boulders. Oh, he controls them? If he's here, if he's here, he can't stop him, he's born Pangloin. So he's essentially a bit of a knob and he's just embarrassing people but never harming them so he can't be stopped by the police.

So he's not a super villain, he's just annoying people. He is, because right now, imagine you're at a funeral, right? He's not the annoying devil. Imagine you're at a funeral. That's off balls of steel steel and you're giving a speech at the funeral and all sudden They leave at the murder scene that's a fucking bill. Oh, no. No this guy this guy's a villain He's going around like making people get embarrassed in front of the love of the life. He's not fuck Villainy involves like... Incorrect.

He's just slurring lies. Even I could take down governments. How? How could he do that? Presidential debate, Donald Trump gets a boner. No, well, all over Twitter. You're not appointing him. No, but you said he gives an erectile dysfunction.

Lewis, he also gives boners. Let me just weed out what we were asked to do. So... Oh, you don't have to be that... Is that up there? No, no, no. He said his villain... No, I know.

Method of killing. Yeah, we know that, but we... He really doesn't like Mike De Bono for something he said. He's a human. We can predispose him as the worst here. It doesn't have to be a... It doesn't have to be a murder and killer. He's a hindrance.

Not all villains kill. He said, what do you leave in the murder scene? A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. A method of killing. leave at the murder scene. Yeah but we can predispose him as the worst here. He doesn't have to be a... He doesn't have to be a murdering killer. He's a hindrance.

Not all villains kill. No, they don't. He said what do you leave at the murder scene? A method of killing. Have you noticed he's completely naked by the way as well. Syndrome didn't kill anyone. Yeah exactly. Yeah he didn't have to kill.

He just gives people... If everyone's super... But imagine if you finally pull that last, you've been graffing for ages, you get into that moment, the bone is in the... I do agree, I do agree. He's a highly annoying person I like him society but a super villain is pushing the board follow you around always never letting you Bushes what creep because he has to be nearby. I like him. Oh how close? Yeah, what's the radius of his power? Oh, yes, we were then like 10 meters

Oh, yes, we were done like 10 meters He's like sprint he's happy to get taxis about the London just to get to the next fly Taxi's it with a kite because just for hiding apparently He's in a bush you this is this is shit. Well, I think he's a good supervillain. If he's got to be within 10 meters at a wedding, he's got to be like front row. He's got to be at the casket a few. Yeah, it made me giggle, him trying to get a loud call.

He's so fucking loud. Because he's such a shit supervillain. You'll never get to the president because they'll be like, I'm not letting you in, you're obviously Dr. Borner. Obviously. Yeah, yeah. We've heard about you. Like your pictures everywhere. He's like renowned as the world's shittest super villain.

Anyways, next slide please. This is still going on. He's a psychic nurse laxative. So obviously he works as a nurse, but instead of prescribing Viagra, he prescribes laxatives without them knowing. So they just shit themselves. They're not even like really that related. Also, everyone's making him shit himself.

Also, I like the fact that these supervillains and whatever, they're just normal people really. He's just a normal person just handing out the wrong tablet. Look at his face. He's in disguise, man. What's so fucking inventive? Supervillains don't normally have powers. Wait, I'm confused why, how, so they met when they went to hospital to get an erection pill. So Dr. Bourna obviously wanted to go get some fucking Viagra.

But he got laxatives instead. But he got laxatives and he's like, I like this guy's move. Yeah. And he recruited. Yeah, he basically hardly convinced him. Whilst he's about to start getting shit himself. Instead of getting annoyed at him because he made him shit himself, he said, I like him actually.

I like you really. So basically, you know what makes sense? Because people coming in with erectile dysfunction, that is coming, it works full cycle. Dr. Boner gives people erectile dysfunction Yeah, they go together. I got you that yeah, I described laxatives by nurse laxatives We need not just get arrested when people went actually these pills were giving me are just making me shit But the bit the bit the biggest issue is dr. Bone has to be in the catchment area of this hospital He goes anywhere. It's not really a very well coordinated plan.

I've got to a different. You can't go worldwide with this. I feel like he's giving it like slightly a noise. Terrorise a small Yorkshire village. If he's lucky. That's why I like them. They're really shit. God, go down GP again because things aren't working.

That's a real doctor. He looks evil. That's not actually Nurse Laxative. That's a real doctor. He looks evil. That's not actually nurse laxative. That's a real doctor. He looks evil. No, that's nurse laxative. This has to be slammed, I should say. No, he looks evil though.

You can't use joint sins as a fucking doctor. I don't think he's real. Who's that? Don't worry. He's a porn star. Anyways, next slide. So yeah, any questions? I've got so many questions.

I'm happy to answer any questions. Do they shit themselves to death? Is that the point? No, it's like, so when you take a Viagra, when you're about to have sex, and you take a Viagra, they're like, yes, it's going to work. And then they shit themselves in the bed. Oh, okay. Why would you need that when Dr. Boner's already stopping them having a boner? Because the last thing to do is like to embarrass them even more.

They've got a floppy and they're shitting themselves. Yeah, but the way he works, you want to think that the Viagra is working, so Dr. Bourne will be waiting outside and actually giving them a Bourne. He's like, this Viagra is working, next thing he shits himself. How do they coordinate? How do they coordinate between themselves? She has to get close enough. He's like, push the wrestling and stuff, yeah. So he's close enough to give you a boner. It's like, really, Dr. Boner. Was that weird boner cape? On the outside the window.

Yeah, really close. It's like the Sims. Yeah, the Sims are like, come on. And I'm just like, he gets caught all the time, Dr. Boner. Like, he's in the wardrobe and they just go and get some. I was like, fucking, in the wardrobe? And then you get arrested. Did he get arrested? He said police.

I'm confused. I got asked. I'm like, so this is borderline. Like he's not good. He's not a sex effect. He's literally a sex effect. The way it would work is Dr. Bonner would decide his victim, right?

Then he would give them direct health dysfunction knowing that he'd go to nurse laxative. No, no, no, no, no. That's my biggest issue. How do you know he's coordinating the victim to go to that nurse? Nurse laxative, it goes door by door. Knock it on. Door to door.

Who's saying that? Oh my fucking God. It's door to door. That's not weird, is it? A nurse coming to your door being like, who did any dick pills? I hear you have a rectal dysfunction. That could be Dr. Bourna's calling card. Dr. Bourna's calling card is Nurse Laxative's business card.

So they're like, they're seeing like, oh, that's not his own calling card. What are you on about? So they realised this weird guy, they don't even have a calling card. This weird guy in a cape has stopped them getting a boner or giving them a boner at their nan's funeral then made him shit themselves then they find this card and go actually that guy's made me do that and then poo themselves off. I'm going to go do his friend and get some pills. Not only are they already fucking shitting their life away they ring the number again and then get prescribed more pills Maybe don't go to that weird

PhD they're not very good. I don't think this guy successfully has a single victim. No I'll feel like he'll I feel like he'll, unironically just affect, unorectively, fuck, unironically, affect the nurse, he'll end up doing it to the nurse accidentally. They're both getting up in jail aren't they? Are those all those old questions? No, but I want to pitch it as, they're supposed to be a bad duo, you know it's a comedy. It's not a comedy, the whole point is it's a super villain. Yeah, but he's a really shit one, It's funny. Like he's really bad. No, but isn't that for us to decide whether or not it's funny?

Yeah, a little bit. Did you actually try and make this good? No, I try to think of like the most annoying supervillain ever. Like, so he's not killing people, but he's really fucking annoying. Have you been getting floppies in your real life? I have suffered from not getting an erection many times. Oh, you made it, Per. We'll let you.

Dr. Boner. It's OK. I overcome that because I moved away from Dr. Borner. It's good branding, I like it. Thanks, man. Your brain is so mental that this is actually an imagination of your own head. When you get a floppy you think, fucking, I've got a boner. Dr. Borner's getting 10 meters. Where is he?

I need to move the bed. Well, maybe he giggles the idea of Dr. Borner's like, my next victim's across town, but he has no superpower to get across quick, so he's getting in an Uber. Why is he wearing a cape? get across quick So he's getting in a new In your wardrobe and he's like hitting amongst the clothes. He's just like this we can see Does he get any buzz off people getting bonus? Like does he feel the sensation as well? He's got no cock. No, no, no, but he receives them as like a transmitter, doesn't he? Yeah, so does he feel... Does he have a butt?

Is he just like, coming in the water? He's in the water. Every bone he's detracting from somebody else, he's just going... Yeah, rate it out of 10. 6.9. Every bone he's detracting from somebody else. He's just going, oh fuck. Yeah, rated out of 10? 6.9. I'd go five just cause it's mental. That's a perfect 10 out of 10 for me.

Thanks man. All right, I guess we'll close our eyes. I did shrug, well I did shrug with it. It comes right straight away when it was made. Is this like in an American accent? In a world. In a world of so much evil. Yeah.

Comes more evil yeah the font is good very evil font actually next feels it dildo I knew it I fucking knew it man

it's the first thing that came to my head is that not eggplant? Will I told you Will I told you I had to put eggplant into catchy I fucking told Will where did you get that photo from? that's Dickman

I don't do the photos that's earthworm Jim who just the slides? my editor oh my god I fucking told Will! Where did you get that photo from? That's Dick Man! That's a photo I just got there. Who just the slide? My editor. Oh my god. You got an editor to make Dildo Man? Have you said make Dildo Man a real person? No, I tell him everything I want and then he just does it. Right, next slide.

Pawn out of years of abuse taken from the... Not again man! You said he was going to reuse it as well. He's still though, decided. He'd been fucked around enough and it was torn. No wait, he's still the one. He is still the one. Basically, one of my other inventions was a Thilder.

It carries on from the film. How is it the same fucking photo? Two different projects, man. It's a Thilder that's attached to a car seat. You can't have to blur that. You can't use that again. It's in the same realm as this. Everyone knows what that is.

Yeah, it's not fair. You have to blur it again. Why? It's funny. Next. Is this a follow on from the film? Yes. It's a follow on from the thrill though.

He's carrying on the thrill as it's originating. Making a universe. He's making a movie. Dildo Man's methods. This crafty little shafty has been firing himself Follow on from the yes The other man's methods these crafty little shafty has been firing himself up people's arses and exiting through any orifice he can find Most notably the mouth leaving victims an internal pile of oversatisfied. So he kills them He kills them as he goes through the site that one. He's like He's like, you know in the boys when he goes up his are then just go yeah but actually goes up his arse and goes through and kill yeah yeah does he kill them as he goes through them or not yeah you're right kill him we come out covered in shit it depends who stings like he could choose to kill them as he goes oh it depends

how tough the person is okay how scary How much scary. How big is he? Yeah. Yeah. How big is this guy? So I'm supposed to be back. No one's surviving that. Somehow people are tough enough to handle. Yeah. Some people can do it. How did Lawrence transform into that?

No, no. Lawrence isn't. He's not even. That's what you said. Also, who's Lawrence? Oh, sorry. I thought you've seen the person from the previous. No, no. It's just a follow-up from the thrill though. Okay, the three it's kind of anyway next the calling card

This menace has been leaving bottles of lube attached to these signature catchphrase. I saw you came I conquered each victim so far next at each victim so far. Next! Bullets! Sidekick! Dildo Man has often been spotted in tandem with the bullet. Now this obviously... This is a bullet but you mean... Dildo Man is like 12 feet, the bullet's like one foot.

Oh! Oh! He's a bullet, isn't he? Yeah. A sidekick man is capable of generating small earthquakes through vibration. Oh, legend. Is that Stephen Bunting in a costume? These devastating duos cause more problems

for a city than Eze and Dean. Oh yeah! Nice, niche. They must be stopped. How do you stop them? I think that's it. Is there one more slide? Wait, so Tom, I'm all right with saying it. So the bullet creates the vibrations.

Everyone's like, oh what's this? So the bullet doesn't have to attack your orifices. The bullet can harm you. Basically the bullet can shake you up and oh my god and then Dildo man. But I'd argue, I'd argue. You know when Dildo man starts going up and it starts vibrating. Dildo man doesn't vibrate. Dildo man doesn't vibrate. No, but if the bullet is vibrating the room and everything.

No, that's more of like a set up. So like he's shaking the room, and people are like, oh what's going on? What's going on? Yeah, different populated. Door flies open. I've got a question. Dildo man's fucking smashing you up.

I've got a question. Very evil. How did he become Dildo man? Yeah, what's the backstory? It's from the thrill though. He's tired of people fucking him. Oh, so it's the thrill of this developed consciousness. It's from the Thrilledo. He's tired of people fucking him. Oh so it's the Thrilledo that's developed consciousness? Yeah, he's done with it.

Oh, got you. No, the Thrilledo itself has developed consciousness. But that's the Thrilledo. Did it get bitten by a spider or more? A rogue asshole. Like maybe it was an infected asshole who sat in the Thrilledo. Yeah, I don't really have an answer for that. Like maybe it was an infected asshole who sat in the thruldo and did a chemical reaction. Oh yeah, I don't really have an answer for that.

Well, can't help you with that one. There's a big dildo. Basically, the thruldo always had consciousness and he was sat there going, I'm fucking tired of this shit. Sometimes, as we discussed earlier, there is no why or how, it just is. Exactly, it was always going to happen. I'm leaving it to your interpretation well the the tiny guy shakes you up right well foot guy goes through your asshole yeah the bullet don't they ever swap roles no the bullet problem is the bullet is more pleasurable

he's enjoyed a man ain Fuck you. That's not fun Is it 12 feet of dildo? What's the bullet made of titanium? Yeah Nice. I don't get it Stephen Bunton joke. Oh Don't get oh Yeah, so force on dildo man, um, yeah,'s good. I'll give it another 6.9. What? It's better than his. It's not. Yeah, I can destroy cities.

Might have a backstory. Dildo Man flies. Yours is just... So that's a... You can't just give him the ability to fly. Even though he had no backstory, he's more of a super villain than an annoying guy. Dildo Man can kill people.

A stag pest who keeps people dysfunctional. Who kills who? Your duo or Dildo Man in the bullet? My guy, you don't have to be a super villain. A stank pest who keeps people dysfunctioned. Who kills who? Who kills who? Your duo or Dildo Man in the bullet? My guy, you don't have to be a super villain. You can still be a super villain without murdering. You can just be a shit one. No, yeah, you can.

Mine has more form. No, no, no. I agree with that, but then that's not really a super villain. That's just a villain. Look how fucking scary he looks. Yeah, he does look scary. Yeah, no, but you have no backstory. How did he even become-

I told you he was the Thrill-Dough and he was tied up. I explained at the start. Heildo and he was tired of it. I explained at the start. He was sick. He was sick. Yours didn't have anything. Yours just forgot to come and then became a guy with a fucking cock on his head. He had the most self-deprecated wang in the history of human life. Well then that's what it was.

Yeah, yeah. And the thrildo was tired of people fucking him, so he decided to fuck other people. I think your origin should be like someone who sat on a thrildo had like an STD. Ah, interesting. Someone who sat on a thrildo had an STD. Oh sorry, sorry. What he should have done is ripped his own cock off, had a wank and suddenly he goes around cities giving people erectile dysfunction, you fucking idiot.

They'd be a good force then, aren't they? That's Lord Shoop, that's not villain! Should we move on? Okay, well go with mine then, because I'm next. Right, have a close your eyes. I hope it's better than your fucking pillow you made. That's still on the set somewhere. You made a pillow?

Oh, this is the worst invention of all time. You wouldn't admit it was bad. When you physically made it. Mate, so his invention was a jumper. All right, well, let's not take those feelings into this one, because I put effort into this. You put effort into the last one. You can blow up. So his invention was, on a plane,

you basically put yourself in a straitjacket so you're comfy. If you're in the middle seat. I can't believe you made that. Yeah, it took me quite a while as well. Even though. It's a prototype. It was never going to look like the middle seat. I can't believe you made that. Yeah, it took me quite a while as well. It's a prototype, it was never going to look like the real thing. Talk about wasting human time on earth. That's brilliant. Oh no!

That's fucking brilliant. But why wouldn't you just put your hands in your pocket? You put them in your sleeves? Or just fold your arms? Stop trying to defend it, you admitted it was shit. I'm just explaining it though, I'm explaining it. Mate, that's quite, do you not joke when you're- Yeah, you do, you do.

Okay, Batch, you're thirsty. You do, you do. You're thirsty. Look, he's so happy, does he like- That's the reason, that's exactly it. You admitted it was shit. Yeah, I know, but it's just nice to hear someone else understand my logic.

Bit of an issue. I go dehydrate. Hello, hello. Right, anyway. Would you like anything from the trolley, dear? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh know what. This is horny, come on. Wait, understand the premise first before you come at the touch of it. Oh, it's going to be something to do with traffic. What's a warden? It's a warden.

It's a traffic warden. You know when you're on a bicycle, actually you've been here over an hour, fuck off and die. Have you seen my slides? Do we? Anyway, next slide please, William. He goes to the city and causes traffic. Introduction to the Trafficker, a new age supervillain.

This is quite wordy, sorry, I wrote actually this out. A mastermind who, without any true supervillains, has total control over traffic to unleash pure chaos in the bustling streets of London. Ingenuity and communications manipulation to control traffic systems turning the city's daily commute into a battleground. Next slide please. He already is, have you been round London? Are you comparing him to the Joker? while traffic systems turn the city's daily commute into a battleground. Next slide please. It's a test. It already is. It's gonna be big round London. You're comparing him to the Joker.

No. I'm not joking. No. So, so, so. Do you wonder how a girl on the traffic. For the most part of super, it gets better. For the most logical super villains, they don't actually wanna kill people,

they just wanna cause chaos. Right. Like, what? No, but you don't need to be a people, they just want to cause chaos. Right. Like, you don't need to be a super villain, you can hack into the traffic lights and just ruin it that way. But the, hang on, but the byproduct, but the byproduct of such chaos means that people die. Are you comparing them to Thanos here?

No, of course not. Are you saying that due to traffic, people are going to die? 100%. 100% You put a green light, green light, green light at a junction, people crash. Yeah. But they don't die. Yes they do, Lewis. If you put...

Two tubes, two tubes that are going the same direction, one gets sent back the other way, boom, crash. But I'm saying like this has happened before without the super villains. Yes, but he's... He's all passionate about it. It's a good one. Next slide please. That's the mask if everyone needs it.

It's pretty fucking demonic to be fair. It's sore. No, it's not sore. Jigsaw has swirly eyes. Mushroom's coming off him. Next slide. Chaos through traffic control. I love the full stop view.

That is punchy. Yeah. You can read it if you want, but I'll read it anyway. Traffickers main objective is to create chaos at critical traffic junctions by manipulating the flow of buses, trains and traffic lights. Aims to bring the city to a standstill causing disruption, frustration and eventual panic. His lack of powers overshadowed by his cunning strategy proving that Wickham Trump over physical strength. Too many big words man, too many big words.

Calling card. Oh my god. Oh they're sick. They're Next. Too many big words, man. Too many big words. Calling card. Oh my God. Oh, they're sick. They're good. They're sick. Clapton. Yeah.

When you put a photo, actually you can't remove that bit anyway. It's a bit annoying. Right. Next one. Play the sound. This is also his audio calling card. Ooh. Oh, very sinister.

Very sinister. Very sinister. Oh no. It's the trafficker. That just sounded like a train arrive. Yeah, it's like an announcement thing. Thoughts up all the time. Trafficker here guys, you will now... No, he's never on audio. He's never on audio. Next time please, Will. Okay. The traffic has arrived. Could the trafficker please come to

aisle seven. Genius hacker, master strategist. No super power, but resembling the traits of being unremarkable and often overlooked, which is a lot of people in London, right? A true representation of why people become villains. And then obviously

ensuring he leaves his mark on busy streets of world wide cities. But his current project is London. Okay. Next slide. Is this really showing your age? For years he's enjoyed the chaos of London's public transport standing helplessly as busy commuters brush and push past him. Each shove, comment and date delay compounds his sense of isolation. The traffic has started out as any ordinary person,

a London commuter, but constantly pushed around, caught up in the horrid world of pedestrian traffic. He vowed to never let Rush-Al be the same again. Next slide, please. I'll make it always Rush-Al. He's got a pet rat called TFL. TFL, pet rat, not only serves a companion, but embodies his mission.

Rodent symbolizes the overlooked aspects of city life, often ignored and thrown to the side, yet thriving in hidden spaces, just like his master, the trafficker. Together they inform a inseparable duo, and often he uses remote signals detonated by his oyster card in flow. Whoa, fuck.

There you go, next slide please. Can I ask what does he eat as a snack? The what, the trafficker? He loves his oysters. Oh. Oh, I didn't catch that. That's good. So yeah, this is, these are examples of what could happen.

That's a brutal crash top right, fucking hell. Yeah. That's a junction. That's a display of a junction. hell. Yeah. That's a junction. That's a display of a junction. All lines closed. The traffic car. Damn you. Damn you to hell.

Yeah, but that's the chaos aspect, isn't it? And people get agitated. That's not trying to kill people. That's not trying to kill people. That's just making it creating an annoyance. Tell me that bottom right one was caused by the traffic. Yeah. No, but I couldn't put too many real photos in because it's a bit insensitive isn't it?

But Metropolitan Line is suspended today! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It's true his form guys if you if you hopped on a tube and it went the exact opposite way to the way you were Thinking it was gonna go Truffle gonna make it all the other way he controls the signals don't know he controls He controls all motions of what when I get in my car the driver he could drive my car backwards No, no, but for all my friends is public transport I'm pretty sure this would be like probably chaos for a day and then like the government would get on top of it I think he's fine. No, but trains he is. Public transport. I'm pretty sure this would be like probably chaos for a day and then like the government would get on top of it. I think they'd probably spy on him.

No, but they'd find him. There's hiding up. He wouldn't even get a chance to use his sounds. Moves to another city. I don't mind the premise of it. But I just feel like... But they'd never catch him. It's just mildly annoying.

No, no, no. I was lying, Mike. I'd rather than a 12 foot dildo up my ass. I think we have next slide as well maybe. Or are we out? Ultimate disruption. Look at all the buses. Maybe that's it then. There's severe delays on the Victoria line.

Can we hear the sound again? I love the sound. Do you not think that'll cause a lot of chaos in London? on the Victoria line! Can we hear the sound guy. I thought, I thought, I thought. Your premise, I think you need to be more evil. I like, I like. That is evil. That is evil. Causing hundreds of people in tubes

to crash into each other. That's chaos. I actually, I do that. That is chaos. I do. Imagine how many, imagine if every, like if he's hopped on the scene and he sent one tube forwards,

one tube back on every single tube line, that would be worldwide news. It's true, but it's something like your dad would come up with. What? Do you know what I mean? No, I like the idea. I just, I'm all up at your back. That's the thing that I thought could be very well implemented into normal society. As someone who can hack into the public transport system and cause deaths.

Reeve, you've done, it's very well thought out. It would cause a lot of shit. And death. And I do think it's good. However, the fact it's just about like traffic. Traffic like, it's like, It's more for, I agree. It's all very well thought out.

Think of a super villain. And your mind goes, we could delay traffic. No, no, no, no, no, no's all super villain. And your mind goes, we could delay traffic. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But he called. I know, I know. I understand. It's okay.

You know what I'm trying to make? I'm gonna be an hour late for work. What I'm trying to make is the point is with the joker, right, the trafficker sets out to just ruin everyone's day in terms of commuting, because that's how we felt. He felt a bit up by it. No, we know, you've already told us. Yeah, but for the same reason that Thanos thought he was bringing mercy... Oh, you are not comparing the trafficker to Thanos.

These are super villain examples, for the same reason. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hit me out, because it's good logic here. The same way Thanos thought he was bringing mercy to the universe, he was actually getting rid of half of all life, that's killing a lot of people. The Joker just wanted to be a dick, like just wanted to watch the world burn, but he killed a lot of people in the process. He wants people to have a fucking shit they're commuting, but he's gonna kill a lot of people in the process. We know, and we've been through it all, and we say-

That is a super villain, that's a super villain. It's a guy with an aim that ends up hitting other people just funny i would argue he's actually a good guy because he's stopping people going to work so they can stay at home no but they die well they die on the way

you think no not if they get to the tube stop see all all lines are out they'll lose their job no that's an example of what could happen but by that point loads of people have died already yeah that's just one of the things Reeve it would be disruptions for like a day

then they'd find him and he wouldn't be able to do anything ever again but then the guy that hides in the wardrobe he gets wrapped every day they'd find him and he wouldn't be able to do anything ever again He's you can't be found he's in the My guys a genius hacker so he's permanently permanently off grid. Oh wait hang on a sec, so he doesn't actually have a superpower, he's just a hacker? No no, he's no superpower, he's just a genius hacker and an enormous strategist. He's just a nerd? Well yeah, because that's how he converted from the...

He's got no power. Not all super villains have to have power. Joker doesn't have to have power. They all get found, like the Unabomber got found, they get found. No, but he's a hacker though, he's off to permanently. I understand, but no hacker. This one it would be chaos. It would. It would be chaotic. His one mission was to create chaos for people that he hated bumping into all the time and he's doing it. Everyone just go to the park though and just be in the sun. What?

Yeah, you would just avoid public transport wouldn't you? Well yeah, but how do you get to a park? You'd walk. Yeah. Yeah. Amongst traffic. Amongst roads. They just go on the pavement.

You walk to the... You're next to a road! You're next to a road! What would cars be on the pavement? In the red light! Well, you're next to a road. You're next to a road. What would cars be on the pavement? Because if you cross it in the red light, if you cross any junction ever to get to a park, all the cars are going, it's green, green, green.

It's not meant to be. It's a road. And then walk another way. With a bridge. People are just scared. No, but he can hack into the way the traffic flows. Your brain. He can hack into your brain.

He can hack into the way the traffic flows and force traffic. You could just lose diversion or divert traffic down a tiny road. Also, okay, two things. You can use a zebra crossing. There's no... You can't hack a zebra crossing. Or you can just look before you cross. Also, have you seen London-Cornwall traffic? That's not a junction.

But not every road's a junction. If I'm walking to the park... Car's barely moving, London. You could enjoy yourself in all the chaos or he hacks into like the line bike system he hacks into the line bike system now we're talking now he's hitting the piss he can hack into the line bike

now I'm not happy you send him wherever he wants you send them I didn't realise I didn't realise I was getting line bikes involved. If line bikes are involved then I'm with you. He's a fucking c***. I was on a line bike yesterday, yeah?

And it had no speed limit. I was like, fucking hell. I was like, oh my god. Double speed limit. I couldn't move a thing. You couldn't move a muscle. Did you hear the sound? Yeah, did you hear the sound of Yeah. Did you do the linebacker? That would be creepy. Would it after after a big crash that would be fucking ominous to hear.

Thank you. It would actually. Right. Should we vote? Yeah, I think I like it. I do like it. I'm all like, I'm all find it funny. His like passion and seriousness.

Yeah, I'm going to give it a nine. I'll give it an eight. I had to be normal about it because everyone was laughing at me. That's realistic as well. If I started going, right, fuck it, I'm not bothering anymore. I actually do really like it, nine. I'd give it an eight. Oh, that's a perfect amount.

It's going to be chaos. It actually might be a ten. It would be chaos. It really would be chaos. It is definitely chaos, but it is just a bit crap at the same time. Why? He is right. It would cause death.

It would cause chaos. But it's traffic. I'm going to give it a nine, no it's not. You're misunderstanding the whole concept. The line bike thing really has a... It's not traffic. That's the only thing I use in London. Boris bikes. No, they're not automated anyway.

Also, overground trains, underground trains, that's not traffic, Theo. That's controlled by individual things. Don't Theo me. You're saying it's not traffic Theo, that's controlled by individual things. Don't Theo me. You're saying it's only traffic. It's not traffic, he controls all of it. I just begged him. He's causing chaos.

He's angry. You are right. Are you the trafficker or what? No, he's called the trafficker. You should have called him Captain Chaos. It would be chaos as well. I nearly debated chaos merchant I'm gonna give you a no, you know only because I don't think it would last fair enough, but I put my My drive with him

Crap, but there's no logic as to why it's a crime Can you explain why it's crap? Boring. Right, okay. Yeah. Fuckin' hell. Whoa. Beat Bomb.

Wow. Bomb, bomb. It's actually B.O., man. They call him Bomb. Dramatic effects. That doesn't really make sense though. A tale. A tale.

Oh, so it's not real. A tale. But you're creating the super-videos. I have. But he's not real. No, no, no. A tale-villain. I have. But he's not real. No, no, no. But you know what means he's fake? Yeah, you're creating a real person here, no? Just a different word for a story.

Dildo man's real. Dildo man's coming to get you, son. You put boy Lewis Bowden. Boy Lewis Bowden. Yeah, but we all agreed that was a rubbish PowerPoint. No, mine was real. I've not even got on to it yet. Who would have gone with me?

I think mine was the best. Be less rattled. His has effect. I'm actually not really. That is true, he has got fire effect. Next please. Who is... Is everything going to do that?

Next. Whoa. Oh shit. Damn. Don't do it again. He's got a good costume. Okay. Who was Bo man? Neil. He's do it again. He's got a good costume. Okay, who was Bo man?

Or Bo? It's called originally Neil. He was a slightly overweight normal guy, but he had one problem. Had Bo. Severe Bo. Oh dear. And sadly for Neil,

this has been going on for his entire life and he got bullied quite a bit. Good. So what did Neil do about his issues? Well, Neil really wanted... Had a shower? No, it was that bad, didn't work. Really severe. Oh right. He really wanted to change his circumstances because he hated his BO. He tried everything, as I just mentioned. I feel like that isn't... You going to talk for the whole thing? So what did he try to

do? Well, he got in contact with an experimental drug that claimed that they could cure BO. Ah, good back story. Can I just ask a quick question? This isn't a dig. Can BO ever get that bad? Yeah, people actually do have problems. No, surely not if you've won. There's some people that smell like fish and they can't help it. Is it? Yeah.

Ah, Jesus. I've seen a video There's some people that smell like fish and they can't help it. Is it? Yeah. Jesus. Wow. It's just from the hormones. It wasn't a fish. I guess. No. I was supposed to.

What? Actually. Fish man. Hang on. Next. Flopping about. The scientists. So what did Neil do about this?

Well, Neil really wanted to change his things. He went to the drug, blah, blah, blah. So after meeting the scientist who had- How fucking big is that pill? That's a massive pill. That's Phil Noemone's house. What if you walk into the doctor's and he's fucking there? After meeting the scientist-

You can't nurse in that pill for a week. To develop, after meeting the scientist who had developed this drug, Neil decided he would go for it and he'd start taking the medicine. Oh yeah, because he looks trustworthy. Yeah! His trustworthy guy. He started off...

After taking the medicine, it started off going okay for a couple of weeks. But after a couple of weeks, he began to notice some side effects. OMG! OMG! He started to gain weight. He had a bigger, deeper voice, he smelled more and his teeth became a sort of pissy colour. Oh!

Is this a... Is this a bubble tea? Excuse you! No, it's pissy colour because obviously they say it's pissy. So what did Neil do next guys? Well obviously he wasn't a happy bunny was he? So he went back to the lab and he started to chat to the scientists. Things began to... It finally worked!

Yeah, it happened. Things began to get very heated until Neil got so angry, he started to force the scientists to smell his armpit to prove that it's not worked. His B.O. has still got really bad. It's still really bad. It's called the story. And then... Oh my God. Oh my God.

That's where it comes in. To Neil's. Just to prompt myself as well by the way. A reminder. To Neil's shock. Yes. He made the scientist smell his armpit. He took a big sniff and what happened?

The scientist fell backwards. The scientist fell backwards like this and fucking died Shocked shocked Neil ran out instantly and went home to speak to his girlfriend and he made her smell his armpit No, she died too Yeah, fucking stinks, I mean you go oh yeah follow up the following years What, what, that was it? That was you managed to get a girlfriend? Yeah. It fucking stinks. I mean, you got a follow up. The following years.

So as B.O. man struggles to come to terms with what he's done, from the sadness stems a lot of anger. Anger at the scientist, anger at his ex-girlfriend who's now dead for smelling his armpit, and anger at anyone who doesn't suffer with the BO that he suffers with And as you can see by the photos Neil is no longer Neil He's become BO man at this point He looks really sad and he's set out on his life long mission to be the killer of all those clean armpits that he's jealous of

His eyes look so- for those who come near him with fresh smelling armpits He hunts down later in the day and smothers them with his BO and kills them. Quick question. Leaving behind an awful smelling scent. Quick question. If he stinks permanently, how does he know who has clean armpit? Because he can smell. He has a nose.

Yeah, but he can only smell his own. Can he smell through his own? No, you can smell other people, obviously. But he would smell all the power. Yeah, you can smell the power, but he can sense it. It's like, you can smell other people, obviously. But he would smell through his own nose. It smells so bad. Yeah, you can smell other people. He can sense it. It's like a high-powered nose. Oh, okay, yeah.

If he's so high-powered, he's just got a high-powered nose. As an example, when you have B.O. Can you smell a nice smelling person? I wouldn't be able to smell fresh armpits, though. Well, he has a power. He's a superpower, mate. He's a super B.O. man, isn't he? Yeah, sorry, I didn't...

You're trying to pick flaws at his fucking smelling ability. Well yeah, because you just said he hunts clean armpits. Yeah, you can smell great fucking aftershave perfume the last Yeah, but he can smell fresh cleanliness a smelling armpit and when he uses dojo and it still stinks no No, we don't that's not the point. Yeah, he can so he can smell deodorant But how does he smell a fresh armpit who's hunting for what's a nice smell? He smells Joe did if you're using Joe surely if he smells somebody kills people He'd only smell himself especially if you're a height and he also goes up to me because of this yeah We know we understand the premise of how he kills them, but we say smell pass no no anyway

You wouldn't be able to smell what when's he developed this skill. This is what you pick during when he's taking the pill The old you there. Yeah, why when he took the pill, he started to get big. I literally said- I forgot about the really trustworthy scientist. You forgot about the scientist who gave him the pill? Did you forget about it? Because you weren't listening. You were too busy being angry, were you? I think there's only one angry person here, mate. I think you're the angry one here. I'm sad to say, lads, that B.O. Man is now an evil super villain killer.

Oh, so now he's born. Yes. And he always leaves behind that mysterious smell. You always know where he's born. Yes, and he always leaves behind that mysterious smell. You always know where he's been. He chooses his victims wisely, and usually the ones that smell the nicest. So Tom, you would be done. My transition's getting old now. So think twice when you're putting

that geodron on in the morning. Oh, this is his second transition. I dig that bug. Think twice when you put that geodron on in the morning, guys, because as we all know now, Bo man is out there to get you any questions You got more I think you've got more mate that you forgot about he just didn't keep up with what's the range Oh, that is the speech what what's the range that he needs to be? Okay, it goes up to their face and smothers them like he did with his girlfriend.

So you have to be right there. If you catch a whiff of him on the tube, you're fine. You're fine, yeah. I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I would say the fact that you said his was boring. Yeah. Your guy is just a guy who smells. Stinks. Yeah. The O-Man.

Oh yeah. The O-Man. Sorry, my bad. Yeah, yeah. You didn't say that. That's-man. How do you like it if he came up to you? It wouldn't be ideal. But also he'd never go up to Lou anyway. It's fine. I'd say it's pretty boring but yeah it's good. I like it. Bomb for short. I'm gonna give you a six seven. That's a perfect ten. Thanks man. What did you give mine? Perfect ten. It's a ten everyone. I'll just say I've never made a PowerPoint before, so I didn't know you could. You went to university? This is really bad.

This is really bad. So you just have to use your imagination. Yeah, don't worry. It's already up. It's already up. Oh. Oh. Introducing.

Yes. The Pile Driver. Introducing. He's got a one. The Pile Driver. You're a piece of dicks and sex. All right, you're not going to see any pictures, so you're going to have to picture it for yourself.

Right, I got that. OK. Next slide. Oh, so you're gonna have to picture it for yourself, right? Okay? Next oh why you turned bad once a humble PE teacher He was perving over the yeah During slip swim class when he slipped over and landed anus first on a chlorine tablet Straight to the ass over the next six months. He grew a mega sphincter Was he naked and developed a taste for pile. Yeah, because he was perving over the years. Seven. Taste for pile? Oh.

Yeah, because he grew massive piles. Imagine slipping a chlorine type of a straight up your ass. What is a pile? It's like a lump on your ass. Hemorrhoid. Yeah. Your ass comes out. Your ass is coming out.

You get around a pile. So his came proper out. Why is he saying that? Like, that's a normal thing for people our age to have. Well, it's nothing to do with age. It's when you're straight for a shit too hard. Oh, I've never had it now. I just, yeah.

You might then you won't realise. True. And hey, if you ever run into this guy, you could be in trouble. Have you ever had piles? No, not yet. I feel like you have. Why do you feel like I have?

I don't know. No, not yet. Well, we're all making our super villains from experience. Yeah, you just put them. No, this one's based off Theo. You look like a piler. Next slide. Oh, how did he kill you ask?

If you look him in the eye, you begin fruiting piles. I thought fruiting was a nice word. Yeah, yeah. Kinda like cauliflower. Disgusting. But it continues to grow and so when he decides you're ripe. Ripe!

I hate that word. He will feast on you from the piles up. He can only eat piles basically. Oh, he's an arse eater. An arse man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Total arse man. Give me back your chair. And this is when the sidekick comes in. Oh God, I want to know. You're going to like that. Not the gooner. No big sense. Why the gooner. Shit, I'm a gooner. Oh, you're going to like that. No big sense. Why? He was a gooner. Shit, I'm a gooner. I wondered why you were so pro goon. Yeah, the gooner.

And he actually does nothing. He just goons in his home. And has nothing to do with it. Yeah, so he just wanks in the corner. He doesn't even know the pole driver. Yeah, he has no idea. Are we sure gooner isn't? We can team up.

Well, because if you're doing it, if you're gooning anyway, you could well be the side Yeah, that's not real. Are we sure Gooner isn't? We can team up. Well, because if you're doing it, if you're Gooning anyway, you could well be the sidekick. Yeah, we could tell. So maybe you are the Gooner. Yeah, all right. Just from one chlorine tablet? One chlorine tablet does this to a man. Yeah, yeah.

I've tried it out. It's the art though. It is realistic. Do you say we work generally or? Oh yeah, we work on any work. Is it relevant that he was perving on the O7s? Was he like punished by the gods? It might be a situational thing.

Oh, universe. Yeah, yeah. It might be a punishment. You're gonna have to be punished. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it could be a punishment actually, because it's not a great thing. Next slide if there is another one. Oh, of course.

Oh, what did they both, they both were absolutely fuck all. He's still naked. He's still naked. He's just a naked man with like some piles hanging out his ass. Yeah. That is sick. Did he have piles on his face? No, just his ass.

What? He doesn't contract piles on his face. I didn't get piles on your face. I don't think that's possible, is it? It's just from a sphincter, isn't it? It doesn't grow, no, it's just coming out. It's just some mass coming out his ass. Like a baboon.

Like a baboon, yeah. Like a baboon. Oh, man's real. How come the police don't ever get him? Well, cause if they look at him in the eye, they're gonna get high, and then he'll eat them. But how long do they, sorry, is they, fruits, people,

they fruit, yeah, yeah. I feel like- How long does it take to develop? Cause if he looks at the police, they can still catch him before they develop. But no, but they'll be like, oh, fucking hell, cause they can feel it straight away. Maybe the old one, would they want to,

would they not want him to eat the piles just get rid of it then if they And it's like I already do the piles Come here resting from behind No, cuz his piles are so big you couldn't get close right rubber ring. Yeah, and also he would just turn back Yeah, and also he would just turn back. Can they arrest him like that? Yeah, it was kind of like Medusa, but you're just going to get piled up before they turn to style. How did he come out naked around the streets?

Yeah, of course. What do you mean? So there's nothing you can do? There's nothing you can do? That's actually an amazing costume. You can't just kill him. That would be the perfect costume because a naked man running around in the street, you would look at him. With piles, yeah. You can just kill him. That would be the perfect costume, because a naked man running around in the street, you would look at him.

With piles, yeah. You would look at him. You'd be like, oh, that's the first thing you'd look at. Wouldn't you? And he looks at you, and you're like, fuck. Yeah, yeah. What it should be is, instead of his eyes, if you look into the piles.

They look like little piles around his eyes. If you look into the pile. Yeah, they're harder to miss, actually. But no one can get away, because even if you say you look at him. The pile driver. No, because if you look him into the pile, yeah, they're harder to miss actually you couldn't but no one can get away because even if you Say you look at the pile driver Because if you look him in the eyes naked you get piles even if he doesn't get around to eating you He'll go to the doctors get prescribed by your guy. Yeah, the doctor is And then he's in a constant cycle shitting him. We're gonna have to really talk after this

Yeah, yeah, and then eventually the pile driver finder, please don't yeah, we'll get no Well, I think you could be the gooner as well Yeah, let's see what the part This could be disgusting Right well what we rate in the pile driver six point nine9 perfect 10 out of 10 for me 9 out of 10 perfect score. Yeah, I like it. It's dirty. It's filthy It would fuck your day up and the presentation feel like oh, yeah, and the brick. Yeah, fuck your day up I also think you can't defeat him. How long does it take them right without shooting him in the head? That's where it depends on it like sniper. Yeah Did they change different colors to know when the right. No, no, it's just the size of it.

So it depends how hungry he is. Because right, right. Miss. Oh, you could do some people eat a banana with a guy. How do they die? Bleed to death. They believe I get like this big. Yeah.

Yeah. He'll eat the part. But he sometimes he goes a little bit further because you could. Where does the pile stop? Where do you decide what's not a pile? Yeah. Yeah. How do you decide what's a pile and what's not a pile? Cannibalism. Yeah, grim. How did you think of this?

Who do you know as Piles? It came to me. It came to him for some reason. It just came to me. Apparently it's inappropriate territory so we can't do much. Say it's for educational reasons. Wow. That was fucking excellent.

Well done mate. To done mate, well done. To end the show, I think we need an extract from Lewis's journal. Have you got it? Have you got a journal? It's fucked, honestly. You have to fill you in. I journaled for a long time.

It's really cringy. It's fucking awful. Really depressing. But for the entertainment of these, I read an extract. He actually brought up that he had a journal. The other week, one of the extracts was... Are you planning on taking that home? With any luck.

He put into his journal, I really hope to find a girlfriend. And also, just to preface it, in his head, he's going to be a global superstar, and this is all for the movement that's going to be made about him. I was watching Joe Rogan. And all I could think is, I will be staring into those eyes.

I was like, I sat on my desk here, looking into my reflection, listening to Joe Rogan motivational videos. It's just fucking weird. So, And then he turns to the camera in one of the, you turn to a camera. Um, I think it will do. Yeah. Let's just do it then I guess. So forgot to write in here past couple of days. Oh, lazy. Oh, yeah.

That's the other day he spent 12 hours doing nothing. But the funny thing about this is two entries ago, he said, I'm going to commit to writing. Then left it for a bit. How late is this commit to writing a week later we've got to write any for the past couple days I think that's symbolic of how much work I've done recently so I've been in fuck all again oh I need to regain my focus I'm going to start my affirmations again to make sure I remain focused didn't did you I must I definitely didn't do it for long. Oh, fuck yeah.

I can feel it. Which ones did you say? I was definitely reading Miracle Mourning at this point. I think that's one of them. What did you say? What were your affirmations? I don't, I, do you know what? You know what they were.

You said them enough, don't lie. I promise you, I don't know, but I don't know if it's in, it must be, it'll be, it'll be written in. You would have recounted them like a mantra. I'll find the affirmations. It'll be written down somewhere, either here or another one. We forgot to mention he's also been waking up at 6am to work really hard, but when he

woke up at 6am he gave himself the entire day off because he had to shift at 4 o'clock. So he played League of Legends all day instead. Really, I'm basically struggling. I want to do things, but I can't be arsed is the gist I'm getting from myself here. Okay, alright. Affirmations to make sure I regain my focus. I can feel myself shipping. Slipping, maybe? Slipping already. I can feel myself shipping. Shifting. I can't continue. Oh, okay. Yesterday nurse likes to do it. Is he? Is he a ball driver? Yesterday I went to an audition thing for BBC.

Oh. I forgot I did this. This is one of the most embarrassing things of my life. I had 60 seconds to tell them a story. If they liked it, I go through. To do what? So basically it was a thing to get on a show that they were doing. Show. Show.

I can't remember. A monologue or a story. Yeah, you had to come in and entertain them for 60 seconds. Oh, what, like a reality show? Yeah, and there's loads of people. No, it was like radio, like get onto a slot. I can't remember what it was. Oh, okay.

But like you were in a room and there was loads of people from the area. You did a dance. With a story and they're all talking and that. Well. Don't tell me you danced. Oh, you're going to read out what you said? I had 60 seconds to tell them a story

if they liked it, I go through. My time started by knocking the mic over off the desk Walked in and just literally just smash all the equipment up. Is this in a radio station? It was in like this room There's like camera people like equipment and stuff. I went to shake their hands tripped over all the equipment off the desk Quite inflated though Yeah, I applied that off as a and go all the way off the desk. He cheats himself. Quite entertaining though. Yeah. You could have played that off as part of your act.

Go on, bye. Telling a story about how I accidentally got a prostate exam. Oh, in Sainsbury's? That one. Basically, I accidentally got a prostate exam. In Sainsbury's? In Sainsbury's. Basically, I drank loads of coffee.

In the street, all right. I was dying because I was shitting so much and my arse was bleeding, but I just didn't know that coffee had laxatives in. So I went to the doctors and the doctors said, has your arse been bleeding? I said, yes, but only a little bit because I'm in wipe-on-lots. He instantly walked out, said he has to give me a prostate exam. And then I got fingered in the bum whilst a nurse watched.

It's definitely a theme here with the old things today. Yeah. And it was, that was the story. Um, the man liked it. The two ladies did not. What was I thinking? Just personal abuse. You stupid, stupid idiot. Oh well, I went in and give it a go. Think it made me realise you can believe things that will work out, but sometimes they won't. My whole life ambitions could end up with a big, with a big thumbs down if I don't put in the work. And that means working all day every day. But not until four. Love what you do. What? He's talking to himself. Love what you do. Love what you do. What? Love what you do. Love what you do.

Love the journey. Oh, that's a good one. Would you say you have loved the journey to get to where you are? Have you loved the journey? It's part, but maybe I'm still on it. I'm still journaling now. We can do today's journal in like four years time. I thought you said you're not journaling anymore.

No, I still do here. I still know you in four years. I have filed badly. Read out my journal today. I never go in and wrote like things to celebrate. It was only when I was in deep depths of depression. So this is just depressing. My favourite thing is like you write like...

Still on the same shit journey. You write like sentences that you think are like hard and motivational so then you can read out in your movie. It's like writing it for myself. Yeah, yeah. Really weird. But yeah, well, I think it does get worse. We haven't even touched the surface on how embarrassing this will get.

Four years on and I feel I've regressed. Well, thank you very much for watching slash listening. Thanks mate. Always a pleasure. Did you enjoy it? I did enjoy it. That's good. Not many people do. That was fun. I enjoyed that one. Thanks for 50k. We want to get to a million subscribers by the end of the week.

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