Back Side - Our WORST Celebrity Encounter, Top 5 Down Bad People Of All Time & The Tale of the Frogman

Episode Date: November 28, 2024

Tom reveals WAY too much as he has a sexy encounter with a celeb in his local shop! Theo gets confused as the lads rank their top 5 down bad people of all time and Reev has issue with this weeks fact, The Frogman...Produced by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:Worm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. No, you can do three. I do the bird because I think I get nervous and wouldn't be able to sustain an erection. Or I just get...

Or just die the virgin! You know, like... I didn't really understand that bad. So I got Kamala Harris. If you need a poo quite recently after eating, does that mean you have a fast metabolism or irritable bowels? I don't know. It's an interesting one, isn't it?

My mate's like that. He literally, as soon as he's finished eating, he goes to the nurse every single time. ASAP? Yeah, no matter what he eats. Sometimes he'll be mid Eating He's like Oh my god

That's crazy That's gotta be IBS Yeah yeah yeah There's no way it produces that fast I went to the loo In the Guinness factory And I've never Had a beer the week

It was It was two toilets So it was like Uni 6 toilets right So It was me and this woman Waiting outside She was like

Oh it brings me back. It was the worst thing I've ever smelt in my life. I went, this bloke, massive. It was a big fella. He comes out, I walk in, and it just hits me like a tidal wave. I've never smelt. Yeah. It's like, you know the toilet downstairs here the other day?

Worse than that. Oh, no, yeah. And I actually gagged. I physically gagged i physically and i was like trying to go for a wee like this as i came out i said fucking hell in a cubicle it was two cubes and i came out high rocks and the and the woman said nah nah i'm not going in there you are not and i saw that that guy three times for the rest of the day. And every time I looked I was fucking you're wrong. You're the shit man.

You're the shit man, yeah. The shit man. Anyways. Thanks for all the nice comments on the new set. Have we got nice comments on the new set? I don't know.

It's not out yet. Oh. Lou, ever since you got a load of money sent to your bank account recently, you actually look cooler. I'm actually badass these days. Why have you got one shoe on, though? Because I've got these pedals here

and I need to feel what button I'm pressing. So, like, look, I'm changing the license. Do you drive with no shoes on as well? Fucking hell. Roses? I could drive with no shoes on. You're driving too fast, mate. That's why. I could drive with no shoes on you're driving too fast mate that's why

I could drive with no shoes on your shirt's looking very sporty you almost look like you're trying to be me I'm back in athlete mode now

kill or be killed I'm kind of a dangerous man is that true or is it you said that you went back for your first session

and then put yourself out for another six months are you fighting up misfits in Qatar they wish they can't pit afford me

big shot now I've afford me big shot now I've got a big shot now it's because fire of the night over there is like one million grey bridge I just want you all to know I don't need this actually right now

so what happens in two months when the money's all gone yeah it already is all gone I want that because as soon as it came in we were all at the pub and at work and I wanted to get around it

and we were going around I was like wrapping up I think Cal felt bad and he's like stop and he sort of were going around and it was like wrapping up a thing and Kyle felt bad and he's like stop and he sort of split it with us he was like you're going to go through this

so quick it wasn't even that much in the end it wasn't even that much it was only like it was like a hundred quid but like not even that much

well not for me not when you're not when you're me guys have you booked any holidays yet no the problem is I just discovered that like apparently

I have to pay like loads of tax on it or some shit. Oh yeah, that magical thing with pay tax. Yeah, but like how the fuck are they supposed to know

number one, that I got it and number two, if I just spend it first. Because the company that pays you would put it on their tax bill as well. What are you on about? But what's it to them?

Also, Lewis, you know when we started this show and we told you to set up a business account? Did you do that? No. Oh well, so now you're going to be paying 50% tax on you to set up a business account? Did you do that? No. Oh, well. So now you're going to pay 50% tax on whatever you just got.

Do you pay tax on the lottery? No, it's winnings. Yeah, so what? That's not winnings though. Oh, is it not? It's a bonus. Bonus. It's a bonus for being the best fighter Misfits has ever seen.

Yeah, I went back to boxer. So you're actually going to lose 50% of all of that? I don't know how it works. So you actually have no money left? I'll just not give it to them. It's like when the fucking TV licence people rock up at your door. You can say you're not going to pay tax

so everyone can see. Have you got a warrant? Yes or no? Have you got a warrant? The difference is you're going to get arrested. I haven't got a warrant. Right. Lewis, tax evasion is fraud.

Do you know what the thing is? I guarantee they couldn't get me. No, no, no. What's the other one? Evasion or avoidance? Avoidance is legal. They couldn't get me because my address

on everything that's relevant is not my actual address because I've never changed it from when I first moved. In the court of law, you're going to look like a right idiot. They'll just rock up

at my parents' house. They don't know where I live. I swear on my bank statements and everything, it's still back home. They could just... They don't know where I live. Lewis, I'm telling you now

the police could find out. You're really off the grid, man. All I have to do is track down where you work I won't take long really whose name is on your rental agreement on your business

well you're undercover it's you isn't it yeah he's trying to he works at the tax office no but I did go back to boxing and I instantly did

my meniscus again so that's funny do you know that yeah how do you know that it hurts a lot well have you done the scan like we told you to get

I'm not doing a scan we're not all that rich I'm rich but like only funny rich Lewis you'd happily spend £100 on beers it's like where you've got

it's like when your student loan comes in and you're rich for like a month but then it's gone and you go back to your reality that's what I am you'd happily spend

£100 on beers or £200 on dinner or whatever but spending £400 on an MRI to actually fix your body which you're going to have for life

I had a £300 dinner with Charlie. I was felt like old foil. Yeah, I know, but you know what I mean. No, I'm with you, it's honest. Fuck him. Your body isn't that one thing that you have forever. It's going to get better. This is the thing, like, the only thing I can say,

yeah, it's that, do the same exercises. They're not going to say that, though, are they? They might not say that. No, don't forget. How are you ever going to box again if you don't forget. You're in training session with someone from 9th. How are you ever, how are you ever, how are you ever going to box again

if you don't know what's up with your knee? Do you realise how boring people find this fitness shit chat that you always do every fucking episode? It's not fitness chat.

No one cares about his shit knee. I don't want to hear about him shitting his pants when he was four. I'm already undefeated boxer with one leg so I don't need two legs.

They're all shit. Just keep doing what you do. Yeah. Never do that again. I won't care. I've got more wins than Danny Aaron's. Hold that.

He was on, see that clip on Fellas? Which? He was on Fellas and he was like, Lewis Bowden's got more wins than me, man. I'm like,

I have to live with that. I'm like, hey, that's a bit rude. It's also true though. Yeah, but what's wrong with that? Why is he making out like he's fucking tyson fury well to be fair look at me my glasses are i've got all this money these are still broken glasses you boxed better than danny boxed nah but he had a better opponent by far like true but nothing on stokey but he was like he's been an elite athlete all his life sort of thing he's not a boxer Danny Simpson can't box he's stokey

I don't think Danny was that bad do you think I don't think he was that bad but you your performance was better than Danny Aaron's I don't know why he's saying that

I have a question for you fucking rude Danny yeah very weird no more Danny Hick Danny Hick gets Danny gets lots of hit I'm not hating anyone I know but we do not advocate

we advocate Danny Love no I hate everyone what if he ends up fighting you he won't advocate. We advocate Danny Love. No, I hate everyone. What if he ends up fighting you? He won't. He's too big of a name for me. I need to stick for the shitter people who people don't really care about. I have a question for you.

You will get one... What's your favourite scam you can get? You'll get one million pounds, but you have to last either five minutes in the ring with Mike Tyson or five minutes in the ring with Mike Tyson or five minutes

in the bedroom with whoever you want. Your mum. No, as in, what's her name? I knew that was coming. In Wolf Wall Street.

Margot Robbie. Margot Robbie. Which, that's not her name in Wolf Wall Street. She's pregnant now. Well, I think Mike Rison's ring would be really tight.

I don't think I could last one. Yeah, it would be very clenched. Well, you've seen a picture of it didn't you exactly because i understand maybe in the changing room you're just walking around naked but he's got he's like belt thing on or whatever yeah but doesn't he not wear boxers then maybe not no

probably just very drafty old school where do you touch yourself last five minutes imagine that coming at you what's the answer

what to either fight Mark Tyson or in the bedroom with Sydney Swinney if you don't last five minutes you die but if you do

you get one million pound I'd do the bird I'd do the bird because I think I'd get nervous and wouldn't be able to sustain an erection. I'll just get...

I'll just put it in and then just leave it there for five minutes. No, no, no, you have to like... But what... After what? Wait, what? You have to go like in, out, in, out. So how many thrusts per five seconds? Also, I'm doing a five-minute round with Mike Tyson.

Yeah, that's long. So three thrusts per five seconds with the lady. Say that again. Three thrusts per five seconds. So you have to get at least... That's a lot. That's quite short. One, two, three... No, but you're counting in and out as one.

Five. That's technically six. No, you can do three. Shows again. I forgot those cameras. But do you accompany that with oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i think three yeah actually three three per four i could do that how many throws tell me your favorite bob how many for five seconds do you average in sex stereotypical bobby for five seconds i don't have much i don't can't give it the rabbit for that quickly rabbit do you know the rabbit where you're just like does anything change

nowadays does anything change if I say it's like Tyson Fury instead of Mike Tyson or something like that we understand the premise of the question

that's not the issue what are you going for then 100% the bird I could easily do that I know you're alright mate and is she trying to finish you

yeah I genuinely wouldn't be able to I'd be too nervous could easily do that. I don't know. All right, mate. And is she trying to finish you? Yeah. I genuinely wouldn't be able to. I'd be too nervous. Tom, you really sounded like you were a sex guru here. The way a girl looks in the face isn't always what gets you off. Yeah, that's true.

So Sydney Sweeney might have like hanging arm, bad. And it might turn you off badly assuming you'd easily last five minutes. I'm being honest. No, but you're doing that hypothetical

in the hypothetical situations he's perfect that's not what you said also let's break it down logically at minimum I'm having sex with the fixed girl

in the world and I lose a million pounds or I double up no he says you die in the world yeah well you can just fuck the money off

and just shag her can't you really I would never do that though because I've got a lovely girlfriend no you he said you die but what I'm saying is

I couldn't hold a retinopathy what I'm saying is you've had the sex you've had the sex and you lose a million pounds or you get knocked out no no you die

and if you don't do it you die you die what yeah if you don't complete the task you die in both scenarios yes

yeah why have you just added that in? No, he didn't. He said it earlier. I think that's from the start. So the premise is a million pounds or die? Yeah. I'll do the bird.

Fuck it. At least I'll die a happy man. Yeah, I mean, that's logical, isn't it? What point do you die? You know when you ejaculate, so you get the ejaculation. If you ejaculate, you know you're going to die. That's a good way to go. It's a bit like a bee with his stinger, isn't it?

Yeah. I might tear the box in you at that point. Nah. You get pummeled to death, but you don't actually die. I beat Mike Tyson anyway. You're dying both. Which part of this aren't you getting? No, no, no.

But provided I don't quit, or is it just getting knocked out? You get knocked out. You get knocked out and then you die. Yeah. But you might not get knocked out. I genuinely think I can last five minutes. I'd have to go into the fight with Mike Tyson. Why?

Because you started boxing. No, I wouldn't. Why? Oh, to be loyal? It's full circle. No, I wouldn't. There's no way I'd last over five minutes. Really?

No, no chance now. What do you... Apparently, allegedly. How long do you last usually? Genuinely? Five seconds. No, genuinely. How many thrusts per five seconds?

Why do you why do you say stop I don't know sometimes sometimes the good ones are just one and then it's just one pump

no I'm saying once every five seconds you give them the one pump you give them the yeah yeah you gotta sometimes like switch it up a bit yeah yeah

one big one you two are really like the sex gurus so you're saying you do lots of like half entrances and then you do no no no no you could you could easily lots of like half entrances and then you do no no no

you could easily make one in one out last five seconds you just yeah slowly that's frustrating I ain't got the car for that

what position are you thinking you're doing it I don't know you're a weirdo anyway to answer your question I'll do the bird how did we get onto this

shock well he came up with the question. Sorry, on Twitter. And you'd do Mike Tyson? I'd do Mike Tyson. You'd shag him? No, I'd try not to get knocked out by him.

And what would you do? I'd actually have to do... I'd do the last, but genuinely, I'm not even saying this as a joke. I feel like the occasion would get to me, and I just wouldn't have a boner. They'd pop a Viagra in you? They would. Up your arse. I'd take Mike Tyson. I'd be alright with Mike Tyson

that's a bit of cheating isn't it no it's not you finish then you just apparently play hard no I think he's right oh no

I don't know Viagra doesn't just give you hard on though it's still like you still have to like it gives you a massive headache apparently apparently

I've genuinely never done it I heard I heard I've genuinely never done it girl or boxer I've wrote a bow on I heard I heard I've genuinely never done it girl or boxer girl or boxer

girl or boxer wait press that in press that lump in semi innit bulge man I've just got a Gary bulge is like fuck it

so you're taking boxer yep why do you think you're confident enough to not get knocked out by Mike Tyson you just

you lack confidence just run around the ring he went wait so are you picking that because you you have such little faith that you're less than five minutes or that you have such high faith

that you could beat... Little faith. Okay, right. So what makes you think you won't last five minutes with a really attractive lady when you have an attractive lady? That's not my question.

I'd say I back myself more with Mike Tyson. That is batshit. That's the opposite of what I just asked you. That's what I meant to say, actually. You can't be that deluded. That is batshit. That's the opposite of what I just asked you. That's what I meant to say, actually. You can't be that deluded. I just run around. He'd close the ring off and perform more.

You need a boxing footwork to run around. There's got to be rules. If we're saying we have to actually be thrusting back and forth, you can't just be running around the ring

evading the boxer. I could just push her her off me and go stop it yeah or like you said just leave it in and don't move it stop doing that can you stop touching that get off five minutes come on i'm not dead get here any million pound richer yeah oh yeah i'll just throw money on a tit sorry yeah you could wait you could wait the five minutes're a million pound richer yeah oh yeah I'll just throw money on a tit sorry yeah you could wait you could wait the five minutes be a million pound richer

and then just have sex yeah you sent me a voice message oh by the way sorry I've I have actually got some mental

go on this one isn't weird not again man this one isn't weird you don't it's not weird okay so the other day I went to Decathlon what's that This one isn't weird. You don't. It's not weird. Okay.

So the other day, I went to decathlon. What's that? Decathlon. That's how rich you are. You don't even know what decathlon is. What is it? Sports wear.

Because I was looking just for, I need some like ski socks and stuff. Yeah. Because you're going skiing? No, Theo. For the fucking elements of England. Imagine like a B&Q. For skiing. For Tari sports. No, be more like the fucking elements of England. Imagine like a B&Q. For skiing.

For Tauri sports. Nah, be more like... Yeah, go on. I went in there and guess what I saw in there? The guy had a dildo up his arse. Ross Kemp. No. Mike Tyson.

No. Vernon Kaye. In Dudley. Vernon Kaye. Oh, Jack Grealish. No. The chimpanzee that Lewis interacted with. Willy Wally.

Who's famous for being from Dudley? No one. Tom Garrett? Jay. What? Is Jay from Dudley? Who? I don't know.

I know he's more of a time. Jack Grealish? He's not from Dudley, he's from Birmingham. I don't know anyone from Dudley. Lenny Henry. Oh. Oh, did you? Do you know Lenny Henry?

Yeah, of course I know who Lenny Henry is. Do you know who Lenny Henry is Do you know who Lenny Henry is? I know who Lenny Henry is. He's been doing French for ages. Yeah, the black comedian. The cook. He's Premier In guy. That's Ainsley Harriot.

He's the guy off the Premier In advert. Yeah. I don't watch telly. He does the Premier In advert. You'll know Lenny Henry. He does Children in Need. Fucking Lenny. I do know Lenny Henry. Oh, you said Ainsley Harriot.

You say hello to him though. Nah. Well, I went over, I went over, it was in passing and I went, oh, by the way, Lenny, I love your stuff. Went to shake his hand and he went to talk, coughed and spat some sweet corn in my face. Fuck off. That didn't happen though. That didn't happen. Lenny Henry projected a vomited sweet corn in my face. Fuck off. That didn't happen though. That didn't happen.

Lenny Henry projected a vomited sweet corn on your face. Thank you man. And then like, he went, oh my God, I'm really sorry. He went to pick it off and then he fell over, kegged me. Right, okay. And his mouth, his mouth just landed on my flaccid cock. He was mental. He just landed on my flaccid cock. And he bent. He was mental.

And he was down then, I was like, what are you doing in the caftan? And I obviously couldn't hear what he said back because he just had his mouth open. The chill. So did you even meet Lenny Henry? Yeah, I just told you. He went on, he obviously flustered

because he was like, oh, that's embarrassing. I've just fucking spat some sweet gun on his face. Let me suck your cock. When all he said was, oh, what are you like, how are you? Does he not think he does that just to anyone who he finds attractive? He just spits in the face and uses that as an in. He must have been slipping, then he slipped off my face.

Yeah. I must have had beard oil. No, and then he just come down and it just happened. That's crazy. That's like one in a million things to happen. Yeah, as he was walking off, he put the rest of the one on a cob in his pocket for the next icebreaker.

Somebody might have to cut one. Just spit in the face. Is he still married to Don French? No. Anyway, what was the voice like? Did you actually meet him? I think he got a good performance. You did meet him.

That's a true story. Why would I tell you a story? Then after, is it, oh, did that actually happen? Like, yes, it did. It's crazy that you you wouldn't believe that that actually occurred um

did you just look for your phone but you were sat on it the whole time wait you were looking for it I could have told you that was there

no no um I got a voice note did that just come out your arse I got a voice note from Thiel oh okay

what time was this sent oh no I remember I remember I know when I sent this I was sat next to you Phil sent this at only 20 to 1 I didn't get anything

Let's let it rock and roll It's about bring up Pyrox I think isn't it? Remind me of Backside The fact that Reeves sucked my finger And it was really fucking awkward So bring that up on Backside You sucked his finger can you not play that

on times one play that again on normal speed that was normal speed times one is normal speed bring up the fact that Reeves sucked my finger

and it was really fucking awkward it was so gay so bring that up on backside how many drinks heavy are you at this point

two yeah I'm a sniff of it it's sort of coming back to me a little bit actually yeah why did you suck your finger I don't know why did you How many drinks heavy are you at this point? Two. Yeah. Sort of coming back to me a little bit, actually. Why did you suck your finger? I don't know. Is that an innuendo? No, you did suck my finger, actually.

Did I? Yeah, I sort of said like, oh, I was high rocks and then you just grabbed my finger and sucked it. Because if you've not seen Passed Up Swords, when you go to foreign countries, you do get a bit sexual yeah it's always

without my permission or knowing I'm starting to think you're the instigator because like you keep going back it's like you're getting fondled

but you keep going back to him so why do you suck your finger also he's obviously really enjoyed it if he's made sure to send you a voice note

I think I remember looking at you and being like what did you do that for what did you do that for this is going to make a really good anecdote if I tell did you know why he sucked your finger i don't even remember doing that why did you suck my finger i promise you i don't remember

doing that on the entire night charlie bit my finger did i you suck my finger when this is when this is premium podcast right in the bar when did he yeah it was in the bar in the in the bar in the bar at the o'neill's i'm holding in the bath is that o'neill's oh my god this is great content you know i've got a great video i've got a great video of reeve down in his drink right wow and there was this couple the g videos that made us this couple oh yeah it was horrendous fucking hell mate they were just down into this throat for non he had the biggest rod on as well like you could just see it who this couple behind sat behind us in the o'neill's in a bar he had a stiffen yeah they were in a pub

and then guess what happened they moved into the other corner we were leaving he's fingering her really though yeah i don't know if they were but also but also they literally hadn't moved from kissing in about two and a half hours you're gonna see the video wait talking to fingering i actually have a really really no this is a gen i've got picture proof oh well i was in centuries the other day did i ever tell you the story about that in the pub hang on here it is yeah look i'm in the back. Are they going back in again or what?

Oh, them. That's about the only time that they weren't kissing then. Oh, they're going back in. That's kind of hot. Have you farted? No. You said you got four proof of this fingering story. Do you remember when you come to my local

and I told you about the story about the old man and the older woman? Yes. Have I told you this story? I can't remember too much. Oh my fucking god. You see it because these wouldn't have been there. Yeah, so basically at my local we used to have like it's not as mental or crazy anymore

because we've grown up a bit. An unnamed location. Yeah, with the old owners we used to basically just keep it open to like one half one basically whenever we fancy going home on like a Thursday

or Friday and they'd always be like the old Wednesday or Tuesday the old locals or whatever who'd get involved not involved

but they'd be there and the one day I swear obviously I don't think I won't be able to show this photo to them but you'll have to back me up this is photo proof.

It got to the end of the night and we looked over and there was this guy who's about 50, 60. Oh, I've seen this before. Fingering this like 80 year old woman. I'm not joking, like 80. And the reason I know she's about 80, because next to them, so he's fingering this girl, this old woman, and next to him is so he's fingering this girl, this old woman,

and next to him is her son just sat there. Oh, I think I've seen this video. Why is he just sitting there then? You tell me. I'm going to have to try and find it in the fucking chat. You've shown us this before. I've definitely showed you the photo.

How bizarre is that? How long was that going on for? I don't know. I was too busy laughing. So he didn't know what was happening? Yeah. The son had no idea? No, he was sat there waiting for his mom to finish,

to go home. Have I not shown you? Wait, the photo is like extraordinary. I've just asked Coop to send it in because Coop's got it. Extraordinary. So what were you going to tell us off the back of that

though whilst you were in no that was it because he mentioned fingering and it's just a good story that I think he's mental yeah that doesn't happen to my locals have you fingered anyone

well me and Reeve went to Dublin over the weekend yeah you keep you keep talking I'll find the phone that was fun wasn't it it was fun

had a good night out or a couple I think well just one really wasn't it? It was fun. Had a good night out? Yeah. Or a couple? I think, well, just one really, wasn't it? Or did you have a couple? Oh, you had a couple. You're a fucking badass. I was a pretty badass out there.

Had a couple out of Guinness. Anything crazy up in there? No. We had a good night, though. Wow, this is content. If we didn't go on that night, I would have been a bit of a... I am... Reeves, three months sober. Yeah, I'm still going, still going you guys no good job i i went to a comedy club

did you where i realized that i am autistic at the club oh we've told you that for a long how did you realize that at the club so like they tell them the jokes and that and you're going and everyone's like having a good time and stuff and then like probably it's like five ten minutes in I realise I'm not listening

at all to what he's saying I'm instead watching everyone else seeing who's laughing and who's not and I was just like I was just like but like

surely that is that's like I was thinking and then I sort of switched on I was like why am I not listening to the joke man

well I'm sure I'm sure he's got a name but do you know what I mean I was more interested like people watching Well, I'm sure he's got a name. But do you know what I mean? I was more interested in people watching. I was getting distracted by people's laughter. Isn't that just more ADHD? Or you're just a human observer. Is that weird, isn't it?

Also, what do you mean? It's all cook stuff, isn't it? I don't think it necessarily means you're straight autistic, but that's a weird behaviour to have. It's ADHD. Going to a comedy club where a comedian's on and you go, do you know what? I won't actually listen to him.

I'm going to watch everyone's reactions to the jokes. So you didn't find it funny? I found some of them funny. It's quite awkward when they're not funny. And I'm watching some of them and I'm like,

you didn't find it funny. No, they're the favourite comedians at comedy clubs though. The ones that absolutely bomb and you go, oh, this is so horrible. No, I can't stand that. It's uncomfortable, isn't it?

I hate it. I laugh just because I feel bad. It got me thinking though, that should definitely be like a forfeit for something one day. I can't think of anything better that should definitely be like a forfeit for something one day whatever we do

the forfeit is the loser has to do a stand up set five minutes well there is a quiz today definitely not it has to be

something bigger when we do a video you are a dance actually so does he he's done him he has one more we posted the dancers I don't know anything

Lou I feel like you actually want to do stand up. Lou, I feel like you actually want to do stand-up comedy though. No, I think like I'm alright just making an idiot of myself but that doesn't you can't just go up and go

and be an idiot. It's interesting how it took you that long to realise that there's something wrong with you. I knew there was this tinge of something and then like Charlie kept diagnosing me.

Which one did you go to? Comedy Cellar. I just went to city comedy or something i don't know comedy seller in common on it andrew mentor i don't know there's just there's some uh there's some northern bloke who's quite funny oh did you have the um mentors mentors like quite a short black guy no no when i went to the comedy seller when there was this like um london bloke he's like bald and he looks proper like he said he's from um phil mitchell mile endway and he's like proper like gangster he's like he's a gangster that's

his character but he's the complete opposite mickey flanagan no okay i don't know what it is but he's hilarious glenn johnson tom hardy you say bald and like London thinks he's odd. Theo Baker. Yeah, because he's from Ireland. Why would you laugh at that? Because you're not bald, that's why. Yeah. Anyway.

Whilst I was watching it though as well, I was like... You came. I came. I was having... Do you ever have like these weird intrusive thoughts? Because this is why I wanted to do what we're about to do

in a second have you watched any of this comedy night have you watched any of these you've been thinking about backside content he's spent the whole time

analysing his own psyche do you think you might have ADHD Lou because you've gone to a comedy night to watch comedy and you've not watched a second of it

I know but I came up with some good questions you came up with questions you were working during a comedy night with your girlfriend yeah I love it I think you need to go speak to someone I know but it was a good point You came up with a question You were working During a comedy night With your girlfriend Yeah I love it

I think you need to go Speak to someone I know but it was a good point Because I couldn't listen To what they were saying And then I'd go off On my own thought And like think stuff

Oh I fucking lie man So like one of them was How many times Could you bang your head Until you forgot Why you started So if you think about it How long

How shit was this comedy night For you to be thinking About that No if you think about it no genuinely how long could you bang your head against a wall

before you get memory loss and forget why you started banging your head I've got no idea why did that come to mind

what was the joke made I remember how would I maybe you started banging your head and you forgot exactly

but do you know what I mean wouldn't that be better because then you were like in an eternal loop how do you know I haven't already

done that just and I can't remember right bang yeah maybe we've all just been doing that you just stopped it hurts too much before you forget

you actually remember next question that's a stupid question what point do you start breathing another country's air the air doesn't belong to any country that's quite a good one actually

air doesn't belong to any country when do you start air's constantly moving it's moving from country to country nah at one point at one point it's Spanish air

and it goes French what about the other way because I don't think it's at the border's moving from country to country nah at one point at one point it's Spanish air and it goes French what about the other way because I don't think it's at the border I think it'll like merge percentage wise into that new country British Airways

10 miles into sea no you only do it when you what's the land border though yeah it's got to be in the middle of the ocean

where there's the only place there's not somebody else there no a land border though can't believe we're the ocean where there's the only place that's not somebody no a land border though can't believe we're discussing this oh that's a good one oh that that's interesting isn't it

no because at the border it would be like intertwined so actually the air would start like more in not on the border of the country

more like five miles in oh yeah and it becomes so what you're saying is Vatican City air is just never Vatican City air at what point

up are you breathing space air like 10 miles into this stratosphere it's not no they can't really have space air because

it's not air and space yeah ozone air so you're actually an idiot ozone air um when kiev

when kiev women have periods did they think they were dying? Probably, yeah. They probably did. No, maybe the first time, but once word got round, I think they got used to it.

So this is where it comes into the down bad bit, because I was thinking like, if you're a caveman- Cavewoman on periods are down bad. If you're a caveman, right, and you shag and think, like, number one, like, what do you use as lube?

If you're using your spit, it's like disgusting non- I think caveman sex was probably a little bit more rugged. Just like a hairy, smelly mess. Why do you need lube? Just like, well, I'm surprised... Do you know women are meant to get wet?

I know, but like, even still, there's no hygiene. Like, the cavewoman would have been repulsive, man. I saw what a caveman... Lube is less hygienic than normal. I'm saying that whole sexual encounter must have been unpleasant

and stinking for everyone you have to use lube it's like back in the day everyone stunk that was just a normal smell for people still smell bad no it doesn't though

because you're used to it you're used to it I'm surprised that the human race survived past that point because you'd be like I've seen you in the mornings alright

there's quite a similarity between that and a caveman well that's why I was saying can we do our down bad top five down bad things of all time because for me cavemen was fifth you always bring up your your segue into down bad was like cavemen and women having sex i just can't believe that we like existed past that period it's relative to the that time imagine going back to that cave

woman and you know yeah but now she's looking at caveman Yeah because you're in Fucking 21st century society Right now It's not standards man Yeah you're right Mate Out of anyone You would not have had Much of a choice

There'll be places like that Around the world That exist today Oh What places are those Well I'm sure it doesn't smell great In like

I don't know Where are you going to sit here Where Like there'll be people Who live on the edge of like Where? Where? Go on where?

Like rivers and sewers But where? People don't live on sewers Of course there will be But where? Why would people live in the sewer? They will live next to a sewer They live in the Vatican

Giant rats and turtles I mean not the Vatican The underground bit Of course people live near sewers Of course that is That's not Who? I don't fucking know

how do I know? Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael and Leonardo I was going to say they're the rats there will be people that live near sewers no but you're saying

place where where I'll tell you where it fucking stinks where? in the middle of New Zealand oh I'm sorry if you're listening from New Zealand

we've probably got a further location in the North Island near Lake Taupo it stinks of egg do you know what

sulfur there you go that's fucking out of order yeah you shit your pants a bit there didn't you we're doing our

down bad top five of all time if anyone was down bad that's you boys who even put any thought in your head about stuff

actually about what we just asked a question he still doesn't get it yeah yeah since I'll start with Kip man because I smashed through with mine and then we'll get yours you boys are even putting any thought in your head about stuff actually about what we just asked a question he still doesn't get it yeah yeah see so I'll start

with caveman because I smashed through with mine and then we'll get yours yeah go on fourth I just posted this is an

easy one me in lockdown oh that was just like a rough period you're just a really horny guy it was just lockdown innit and I was

just fucking in Bahrain as well that's quite a cool place to be in lockdown Bahrain is it did they have any lockdown rules?

Yeah, like the same as everywhere, really. You just fucking can't do it. You had the sun. It's pretty too hot, though. My glasses used to steam up as soon as I left the house. I swear to God, I'd walk out, I couldn't see. What did you use? Shagabarainian?

Sir Isaac Newton. Because while Sir Isaac Newton, he was doing all the laws of physics and shit, apples and that, died a virgin. He died a virgin? You fucking dabber. You know, like...

Married to science, wasn't he? Yeah, but that's so down. What a fucking virgin. That's like, he's a virgin. No wonder he fucking discovered gravity, big virgin. Keep your apples to yourself mate at least I'll have

fucking shat ah you big virgin you're saying have you I've got one over you're saying you've had more of an impact on society than

I didn't know well at least I've fucking shat yeah this is not virgin my guy yeah mate he did great

stuff for the world he has Sancho as his profile picture as well the big virgin second one Steve Shubbin so he was an ex-police officer uh and his wife was actually a top five ranked tennis player now this is crazy

um they got pregnant with a new kid with a kid and because they were like older like 40s the doctor's like don't shag while she's pregnant because it's dangerous for the baby or whatever so instead of wanking or just like abstain for a little bit he has this conversation his wife and he agrees the best thing he can do is create a fake vagina um so he went into his garage using mineral oil and plastic bear in mind his pregnant wife is next door and he's fucking cooking together all this shit and he creates the fleshlight in his garage no he's the creator of the fleshlight his pregnant wife

is in the living room and he's so horny and one quote do it for him he makes a fleshlight out of plastic almost down breaking bad

you could argue that is he down bad or is he now just like a multi fucking millionaire with his wife yeah he will but he's still shagging plastic

yeah it's like people like you are buying it though aren't they sound like you're projecting there though, aren't they? Sound like you're projecting there. Allegedly.

And my final one speaks for itself. Bevo. I mean, I'm calling him out. It's a call out. Bevo's a fucking sausage, isn't he? He is a sausage. Right then. I thought everyone would have this,

so I'll put it fifth. Anyone in the line for Bonnie Blue? Yeah. That's the air fan. Can I specify, especially people numbers 70 to 100 yeah have you seen this thing where she's talking about this she's saying like who who's the hundredth and apparently there's a guy who wanted to be hundredth and he was like really protective over it oh like really and like but someone else turned up after him so there was 101st man so she was like so scared of him kicking off like no i want to be the last shag yeah she had to like hide them from each other and sneak in an extra shag

it's okay honestly it's yeah you need seek help so bad it's that pizza from uh number four smithers for mr burns he fancies his boss he needs to let that that go. Number three, Dana White for Jon Jones. Yeah. We get it, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. Just make him fight Aspinall, please. We can get the belt back to the UK.

Number two, Gerald Kwanzaa. Oh, he's a lot as well, yeah. I don't think much else needs to be said on that. Yeah. And number one, I'm surprised you went for Bahrain, but I went for Louis Bowden in Germany. I didn't go in to those rooms. Oh, yeah, you did.

You did tell us about that. I just wrote from where he lived and apparently knew everything about it, but never went in. I heard stories. It closed down sadly, not sadly, before I went in.

Yeah. Okay. Allegedly. Allegedly. I didn't say anything there. Yeah, I've got two what Tom said so I'll try and make this

a bit different Drake with Rihanna oh was he like did he not shag her yeah but I guess you'd be down bad after the shag

if you're still like licking her ass for ages yeah I'll be alright yeah straight after the shag giving her a little salad toss

what's that this is obviously tossing the salad I don't know what that means eating ass okay that's a weird tossing the salad

I got loads this is obviously before he gets with her but Aladdin he used his unlimited power genie wishes to get with the girl do you know

I've never actually watched Aladdin was she fit I've not seen it was she fit enough the real life one with Will Smith is really good it's not seen it was she fit enough the real life one with Will Smith is really good

it's not real it's not real it's not real life it's as real as the fucking hamster you think's real Stuart Little there he is

he's also a real actor first of all he's a rat yeah and he's in Back to the Future yeah yeah um

this one's actually not a sexual one but it's definitely an interesting one uh jeremy stirred event who's that he spent 10 000 bitcoin on a pizza in 2010 oh that yeah i've heard about this geezer yeah yeah but that's not down bad no i know but i mean he's down horrendously millionaire yeah he still is probably like crying himself wanking how much is that 1.6 billion it's a lot it's a. One Bitcoin is 80 grand now, isn't it?

It's for pizza. Yeah, 10,000. You must have been hungry though. 10,000. And then the, the most down bad person. Come on,

he's the worst. That is so bad. The most down bad person of all time is Young Ross from Friends. Who's that? Yeah, for Rachel,

yeah. You ever watch Friends? I thought you said Friends from Friends. Young Ross. He was proper virgin him as well you said Friends. From Friends. Young Ross. He was proper virgin him as well, wasn't he? It's like sizing him. He was like,

proper. Like he really was. Yeah, but he did get the girl. No, but that's what I'm saying. Young Ross. Anything prior. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's only because he had the money as well.

If you tell me if he worked in a... I don't think he was that rich. He was a fucking... He's a paleontologist. He's a paleontologist. He would have had dollar like. She was a fucking waiter. She needed some money He would have had Dollar like She was a Fucking waiter She needed some money

If he worked In the coffee shop If he worked In the coffee shop Yeah but they already Shagged before then If they She worked

In a If he worked In a coffee shop There's no way She's letting him Penetrate She was way Fitter than him

She was so much Fitter than him Are you crazy Ross wouldn't have Been that rich Are you going out With Rachel Aniston Rachel Aniston Jennifer Aniston in those early years of friends was so much more fitter than him she was using him

for his money yeah oh she's fit and just go with it as well allegedly okay right uh right i also had cancer and the average salary for a paleontologist is 25 grand. No, it's not. He was a fucking doctor, mate. He was a paleontologist. A doctor. Fuck off. Fuck off.

He had money. He was always wearing a suit. He was like one of the big boys. Doctor. More experienced museum staff or teachers. He wasn't at a museum. Salaries expect to be around 26 to 35 grand a year he wasn't at a museum

he was actually doing research he literally worked at a museum £129,000 average $73,000 where's this fucking here

dollars yeah in USA you know what about the top earners average that's a lot bigger also they live in

central New York so how much money do you think he's coming away with every week I'm saying if he was a postman he might have

loved his life was it so much more in America than the UK because their money's different anyway but yeah he wouldn't have been like a million

she wouldn't have shagged him though she would not have shagged him you know she wouldn't how am I an idiot you know she wouldn't shag him

I don't think you're any like trust me any way of telling wouldn't shag him. No, I don't think you're any, any like... Trust me. Any way of telling who can shag who. Wait, what? Was that English? Yeah, anyway.

Was that a coherent sentence? You can't find his way to the end of the level. He's trying to find it. Hold on then. I didn't really understand damn bad. So I got Kamala Harris. She lost to Donald Trump. That's quite bad.

That's not really what I meant, though. Okay. It's true, though. She's down bad. It's Theo's version of down bad. Then I got London rent prices.

That's not... That's not... They are up ridiculously. Yeah, down bad for us, up Ridiculously Yeah down bad For us though This is what Down bad means Do you understand

Down bad He's like London rent prices Are down bad That's not what Leggy horny begs Like I've then got

My hair After having a hair transplant It's down bad Don't look He just doesn't get it He just really Does not understand The lid down It's really horny After you had it And then I've got Chris MD's sex life That's down bad he just doesn't get it he just really does not understand the lid

he's really horny after you had it and then I got Chris MD's sex life that's down bad it could be down bad it could be a down bad choice you just think

saying sex life is redundant yeah you gotta just say just Chris MD is down bad you always tell me that he's shagging allegedly

allegedly allegedly he says he gets girls back and like shows him his edits and stuff look at this new video he doesn't do that

allegedly allegedly then I was been listening to you lot a bit like John Joe Shelving

afters you've seen that when he gets you've seen that film he's in afters I think he might be with Chris Wood

and two girls and he's searching his goals on YouTube fucking hilarious I then heard you lot talking about I think he might be with Chris Wood and two girls. Chris Wood? And he's searching his goals on YouTube. Fucking hilarious. I then heard you lot talking about what down bad actually means. I've added one onto my list.

And this is actually a real one. Joe Weller, age 12, in his dad's van. What did he do in his dad's van? What does that mean? Did he get... Was his dad a payday? No, he just had wanks in his dad's van. Why? Why? Because he's a horny 12-year-old. Why would he do it in the van, though? I thought just had wanks in his dad's van. What? Why?

Because he's a horny 12-year-old. What would he do in the van, though? I don't know if I was wanking at all. I don't know what he did in the van. A 13, perhaps, maybe? How was he getting in his dad's van without his dad being there? Work experience. Oh, my God.

So he's at work and dearly wanking in his van. This story doesn't add up. So where was his dad? I don't know. Out of the van and work. I think his dad... Wait, so he's wanking and his dad's driving him around?

I think maybe it's like they parked in Tesco's and his dad's in the shops or something. Sort of did. He did. He's gone with him and then gone, right. I can't remember the story.

He called out a waffling. His dad's around to the back. Yeah, but this doesn't... So he's in the car park of Tesco wanking. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Where other people are... Yeah. Wait, is he in the back or of Tesco wanking. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Where other people are... Yeah.

Wait, is he in the back or the front? The front. Oh, my God. We've said it on The Waffling before. Oh. Do you reckon you can go... I know you're trying to use the cross promo. Do you know what's down bad?

Waffling podcast advertising on here. Do you know what you... No waffling. No waffling. Do you reckon you can go one backside episode without mentioning Joe or Waffling? He's trying to cross promo. Anyway, I want to know more about this story

because ring him. Ring him right now. Call him. Go on, ring him. Are you afraid you won't answer? No, I want to ask him questions. Call him. I want to see... I want to know why

this is the crossover everyone was playing yeah he's not going to answer he's not going to answer man it's going to be so funny he's testing out I'll send you about quickly

please can I talk to you no just ring him just ring him let's just test would you be okay to discuss the wanking you should if you ring him

without any prior warning well I think I know where he actually is right now and I don't know if he can answer in his dad's van just try if he doesn't answer

we'll move on that's down bad segment let us know you're down bad please subscribe as well because we're really close to 50,000 how close like 45 at the moment

so we're not 45 subs away no we're 5,000 off okay right that's pretty cool yeah that's fucking amazing I can't i can't wait to go home and have a wine cover it right should we get deep side no well we can do yeah

i've got some serious talking points oh tom you were down bad in ireland with those irish swedish men that's a good one yeah i remember you specifically sent us a voice note at 4 a.m saying hey guys i'm thinking i'm going to shag these three swedish blokes that was they want me they think i'm obviously a joke right everyone i don't remember but i'll probably do deep side okay guys here we go no let's get serious here i got a special request from someone in the room to get really serious today too is it le today too he enlightened us last time

you know you got you were he didn't even do it last time you actually managed to get a sentence out without an insult

and it was covered with maturity and grace what? grace? when he's talking about what makes him happy grace is on on the sled isn't she?

that's not what I was going to say but yeah we could do that if you want no it's out it's out next week this so okay guys hello serious question yeah That's not what I was going to say, but yeah, we could do that if you want. No, it's out next week,

this, so. Okay. Guys. Hello. Serious question. Yeah. Do we actually have free will or is there an element

of predeterminism in everyday life? This is, I hate this question already. I've had this argument a couple of times. Yeah, it's free will,

I can do this. Is that really the limit to your free will? Yes, it is free will. The whole thing of you like, oh, but is it action?

It's not free will because you could get up and leave this room, but you won't. It's free will. Yes, it is free will. The whole thing of you like, oh, but is it action- It's not free will because you could get up and leave this room but you won't. It's free will because you're expected to be here. You can do whatever you want whenever you want

but there'll be consequences. Right, leave the room and don't come back then. No. Exactly. Because it is- I don't want to do that. That's what I don't want to do.

My free will is staying here right now. Predeterminism implies that there is an element that you can't always do what you want. No, people who say shit like that are trying to deep things and they don't need to be deeped. I don't think that's true.

I disagree. You're here because you have to be here. I feel like you have free will, but despite that, choose to stick in the confines you're supposed to be in. More confines. You punched me.

For example, you had a good day in doing the shoot. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Because it's agreed. That's slightly predetermined. We all agree on a date to come the shoot. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Because it's agreed. That's slightly predetermined. We all agree on a date to come in. Exactly.

You're saying everything. Yeah, but that agreed. We agreed that through our own free will. Or was it? Or was it you just having the free will? Is it? Yeah, but the

origin story of me and Theo meeting, we might have always been destined to... Destined by who? By who? What are you talking about? Are you talking about a higher power? Are you saying like God was like, oh yeah boss, let's meet these two people at Wembley Stadium?

No. We're both doing YouTube. We both got invited to go to events. This is what annoys me, because he shuts off whatever he doesn't agree with straight away rather than in the conversation. I'm just trying to... He asked me to put a really serious, deep out it's a good one it's a good one

yeah it's a good one but it's just bollocks i'm trying to work out what you mean by not predetermined by something else or from our previous actions or yeah from from consequences of things that we've chosen so there's no higher power that is predetermining things not necessarily if we don't want to look at it like that but you make choices earlier on in life that would then fall your path is already written

your path is already written and it cannot be unwritten no but there's elements of determinism that are like harder than others everything that can

happen will happen no not to the same degree but because I can kill someone but I'm not going to do it not that you know see what

what we'll be doing in five years is already set in the actions that we will do it's not at all it's literally not at all through the actions

that we're going to do although you have free will you're already you're completely incorrect because everything that is set according to you in five years

if you go outside and get run over not going to happen but what I'm going to do is already set no it's not though I I'm going to do is already set. No, it's not. I'm already going to do that thing. But set by what and who?

I don't get it. You need to choose what you believe. You need to choose if you believe in the butterfly effect or what I'm saying. Because only one of them can be true. No. Your path is already set or anything can change at any point.

I think anything in terms of... So you believe in the butterfly effect. Brilliant. So after all these episodes, you actually believe in the butterfly effect. You've been down there, to be fair. If that's what the butterfly effect? Brilliant. So after all these episodes, you actually believe in the butterfly effect? You've been down there, to be fair. If that's what the butterfly effect means, then yeah.

Well, yeah, it's like you hit me there. It might have forced me into a different chain of actions. No, because the butterfly effect goes to like, oh, if I scratch my face now, that now means that what happens to me in 10 years is because I... No, it's not. That's not what it means.

No, no, but there's elements that are just like micro and macro, aren't there? Like, for example... I was talking about the gym. What? That's not what I mean. No, no, but there's elements that are just like micro and macro, aren't there? Like, for example... I was talking about the gym. What? That's gym terms, isn't it? No, micro is small, macro is large. It's macro, micro influencers.

It just means small and large. I'm not an influencer with a micro car. But like, there's stuff that you do every day, for example, that will determine over a long period of time how you look or how you feel or... Yeah, but out of free will.

You're choosing to do that. Yeah, yeah yeah of course but but the way the determinism works is there's definitely a scale of things so like for example you choose that you don't like somebody therefore you spend less time with them and more time with another person before you get married but i don't agree with that i don't think you choose that to dislike people i think you just that's natural but you choose how to spend your time though yes which so you're right she's saying if you don't like someone you choose not to hang around them yeah yeah out of free will yeah but you can't okay that's true though it's not that deep yeah but the whole idea of it being totally your free will is never actually fully accurate because there's things that you have to do and you you i don't have to do anything you have the things that you

do you don't always want to do no but you don't have to do anything free will is it you don't have to pay tax but there'll be consequences so you do have to that is you don't have to though people go to jail for not paying tax all the time but then that's not free will if you're that's a good you're gonna do something because you're pigeonholed into doing it that is a good point you don't you don't ever want to pay tax but you have to i can just go and you will i can just move to dubai and not pay tax but you won't you've never done that i don't want to move to dubai exactly exactly so you pay free will so you're so i want to live what you are my friends you have the ability to do things like you're saying yeah but what we're saying is you won't,

so therefore you will be more moulded into this path that's been set up here by the rules and regulations put on you. Right, okay, that's a better argument. My point is, Lou, I know I won't, but I can. But you won't, so therefore... No, no, no, I have the option to. No, but the argument of saying I have the option to, even though you're never going to choose that option,

doesn't imply that you have that option. You're living the same as someone who didn't have the option, as do. What do you mean? You're not utilising the option. It doesn't mean that you don't have the option. No, because in that case, that would imply that you'd never choose that option. No, because David Beckham might have an option

to go to Barcelona instead of Real Madrid, but he only chose Real Madrid. Doesn't mean he wasn't going to... No, no, no. No, because the tax argument is a really good one, because you can have the option to never do that yeah but you're never going to do that because of what the consequences are which therefore implies that you're always going to do this thing yeah but if i pay tax i get to have free nhs i get to drive on the roads in the uk

you go private yeah but you're not but the point the point is you would never choose the alternative i don't know free will i might do at some point i'm not like you used to get my chest you're not you i do i might get my inhalers from the nhs another example is that aren't just obviously based on taxed it but you know what i mean though like i have like who knows who's to say that in 10 years time i don't just like move to monaco me you don't know because you will i know i don't know that but i have the opportunity i will choose to i'm in the middle here i'm do you see what i'm saying but it's more of a discussion than he originally said like it's not a discussion what so my question would be so like you would argue no so if i went well i don't want to murder someone but you'd go yeah but you don't want to murder someone because the consequence of that is going to prison blah blah but i'd go

no i just i just don't want to do that i I don't want... So that is complete free will now. How many more murders would there be if you could murder someone? A lot more. Yeah, a lot more. Like, daily. Do you think you'd see people like us murder? If law and consequences didn't exist, people would do a lot more crazy shit

than they currently do, mate. It would be, like, yeah. It would be carny. There's some fucked up people out there. Like the Viking does, innit? It wouldn't even be that. Imagine how many people would just kill people on a night out,

or like, having a few beers and get angry, and like, getting a rash. That's what happened. Yeah, that's true. That's what happened back in the Viking days,

didn't they? Just kill people. Yeah, I'd say, I'd say, I'd say I could see both sides, and I don't think it's 100% either way. But also,

I mean, we haven't even discussed luck elements of things. Yeah. I mean, that, that, that completely U-turns everybody's life, and that's completely randomly determined. That win the lottery. So. I mean, that completely U-turns everybody's life and that's completely

randomly determined. That win the lottery. So, I didn't have free will about Lenny Henry, did I? Yeah, exactly.

But you did have luck. Yeah. Because you got blowy. No, because if he wasn't eating sweet corn that day, it wouldn't have happened. So,

you're saying that was predetermined. I don't really think luck exists. I think it's just like some people say no to things and other people say yes. And if you say yes to things, you'll get lucky.

If you spin a ball on a roulette wheel and you think that it doesn't matter what you think, it's going to come out differently to what you think. That's a very, I thought you were thinking in terms of life. No, but okay. But luck in a gambling sense can be applied

to luck everywhere else. Also, luck in gambling is just a guess. Yeah, that is more luck. But like say, luck in life is like, somebody will be like oh do you want to go out today you might say no someone might say yes and you go out and you might meet someone and that person might give you so like a lot of people just don't do stuff and then you might be boarding a plane and then you feel ill not get on the plane next thing you know that was 9-11 and you survived that's luck that's what happened wouldn't it yeah yeah's what's happened with McFarlane

yeah the family guy the writer of Family Guy he was meant to get on that plane he didn't yeah we know he was ill that's not

but again no he was hungover was he hungover he was hungover yeah that'd be a butterfly effect see that advocates drinking but then again there's an element

of soft predeterminism there maybe he was maybe he was supposed to write Family Guy. Maybe that's the... You know what I mean? I'm leaning more towards we have free will

but I understand that not everything... You have to pose... I don't know necessarily which one is true but the whole point of him telling me to bring this kind of shit

to the pod is so we can chat about it and fucking talk about both sides. So what do you believe? I believe it's just free will. Fuck off. But that's the whole point of the discussion.

I have to be the mediator. Yeah, I'd lean towards free will. But I can see... I'm on your side completely from what you said. I can see the logic. But the point is... You're playing devs advocate. Yeah, you can't just have a discussion if you go... you said I can see the logic but the point is you're playing devs yeah you can't

it'd be boring if you just went yeah it's definitely free world no point if we closed it off after his first line then it wouldn't be a philosophy

it's like when I say Arteta's the fourth best manager in the world I can't agree with that you meant it though no football anyway that was philosophy

thanks for that some people might that was one of your better ones well yeah should we end do you want to do your shit first

and then we do the quiz? Oh, yeah. I've got a fucking good one for you as well. Is this going to annoy me? You say this every week, Lou. No, this one's actually class. Fucking hell, it's three o'clock. So a little warm-up fact for you.

Didn't know this. It's quite mad. The Bermuda Triangle's actually a square. Oh, that's cool. Pretty cool. Oh, Lou. That's an interesting fact. Is it actually

like a genuine square? I think the reason they called it the... The reason they called it the Bermuda Triangle was, I think, marketing purposes. It's just like,

cut you. You know, I totally don't understand that. Marketing purposes. It's a square. But surely marketing would imply that they're encouraging people to go there or discover Marketing. It's a square. But surely marketing would imply

that they're encouraging people to go there or discover it. It's just good publicity. You're not for Bermuda, really. Sure. It's just a square. Another fact about that, by the way, you know, obviously,

that planes can't fly over it. It's not true. No, it's true. That is true. They can't. No, that's false. They actually can. No, they can't.

Yeah, we know. It's banned. No one said that. No, it's not banned. See, you're falling for the oldest trick in the book, buddy. I researched this. You thought it was a triangle, mate. No, they can't. Yeah, we know. It's banned. No one said that. No, it's not banned. See, you're falling for the oldest trick in the book, buddy. I research this. You thought it was a triangle, mate.

No, go on. What's the oldest trick in the book? I want to know this one. Not everything you read online is right. So where did you read the oldest one? That's the oldest trick in the book. Where did you read that online? No, I read it in a book, obviously.

That's not the oldest trick. I'll tell you where I read it. I read it in the Trinity College library Next to the Book of Quails On the computer Quails? It should be the quadruple college Book of Quails

The oldest book in the world Actually You read that? Date back to you That's the only question I was going to ask I think it's about like Four hundred

Damn Yeah so anyways The binding Is not the real binding though They had to replace the binding Because it Oh a shipathesis argument Is it still the same book

no it's not pages are fucking lit though but anyways um yeah so if you may ever talk about the Bermuda Triangle make sure to remind

them it's in fact a square I will not be doing that because that is the one way to completely shut down the conversation the vast majority of

Caribbean cruises pass through the Bermuda Triangle so you can sail through it and you can also fly through it yeah just like we said isn't that right Tom Bermuda Square so you're wrong it's a Bermuda Triangle. So you can sail through it and you can also fly through it.

Just like we said, isn't that right, Tom? Bermuda Square. So you're wrong. It's a Bermuda Square. So don't call this wrong there, please. It's pretty silly. Okay. Right.

You ready for this? I think you might like this one. Go on then. Here is the story and tale of the Loveland Frogman. Oh, wait, no. Bermuda Triangle is actually a triangle. It's a square, but it's not. No media triangle is actually a triangle it's a square it's not no it's definitely a triangle maybe fall falling for the mark yeah this is the propaganda they put out what would they call it a triangle if it's a square though the exact boundaries of the media

triangle are not universally agreed upon you're in it you fall for anything like ships and planes crossing through it daily yes the square my issue with your thing is I don't understand

how it would therefore be people go to Bermuda now you know what Bermuda is no no no but the point is a square is equally sided right

no well I'm talking a triangle is very different to that I'm talking in terms of four sides so that's not even a square then?

Yeah but it's more squarish It's a Bermuda rhombus No it's not that rectangle Not rhombus What? It's definitely a triangle Rhombus is a four sided shape Did you used to call it oblong?

Oblong I haven't said oblong in ages Luke can I ask Where did you find that So called fact from? I can't remember Just something you learn along the way It's definitely a triangle

It's like 100% a triangle. Quick question. What is a word that you haven't said in fucking ages? Don't know. Like, think. I've not said oblong.

Yeah, okay. Like a diamond. I've not said oblong since I was like seven. We just said it four times. Perplexed. Perplexed. Bobble.

Nah, that's quite common. Oh, dude. You've played football. How do you do that? That live thing. No, I don't think so. perplexed bobble nah that's quite common oh did you played football you played football that lived thing no I don't think she had a

she dropped she dropped a bobble and she was I was like oh you've bobble we were playing we were playing ice pie

because that's how good our relationship is we were playing ice pie and ice she had a bobble wait wait hang on a second you were playing ice pie

it's a good game when you're out oh out as in you're in a that's class while you're waiting for the food to come

yeah it's fun man I'll play ice five I swear to god it's fun but anyway she had a bobble what I call a bobble on the table and then

she didn't get it and she was like it's a hair tie I was like it's a bobble lad bobble yeah I don't know what you're on about

hair bobble for girls that tie their hair with what's a word you haven't said in ages A hair band what you on about you thick Onomatopoeia You probably have said that French fry

French fly fry French fry Abstract Centipede Phil Gilchrist Aquaman You havenchrist Aquaman you haven't said Aquaman in

this is peak podcasting like saying words that you've not Scatman it's quite a fun game isn't it Scatman Dave

no Scatman Dave isn't he Burger Boy Gangnam Style Burger Boy yeah throw me up against the wall

burgers nah you say that every week no gotcha notre dame no i'm trying to think of things you said at school so dank or augustus oh do you know what mint i said mint i said augustus on saturday i saw i saw his head next to shakespeare's head hey let us know what words you haven't said No the Bermuda Triangle Is not a square that's wrong by the way It is a square the Bermuda Triangle is a square

You push for that mate you push for that and see how far you get with it It's true Did you get this from the song Aruba Jamaica Ooh I wanna take ya To the Bermuda Square square no bermuda bahama right the loveland frogman this is class so it's nine it's 1955 when a traveling salesman was driving through loveland you're not listening to the

loveland sorry what are you doing i'm just gonna sort lou where's love land it's like america right i'm ready it hit me it was it where is love land i'm actually interested it's like america what do you mean like america where is love land mississippi i don't know fucking hell man type in now don't type it don't type it in because they're gonna to try to ruin the story. No, no, just tell me where is Loveland. No fun checking, man. Loveland is in Colorado. Yeah, close enough. Okay. The Loveland Frogman.

Phone's away. North of Denver next to the Rocky Mountain National Park, Tom. It's 1955 when a travelling salesman was driving through Loveland. I think I've... It's good.

I feel like I've heard this. Late at night, he was just chilling, you know, driving along, listening to a bit of Frank Sinatra. Flying to the moon. You've told this story before

because you said Frank Sinatra before Frank Sinatra. Right, okay. It just so happens at the same time. That song wasn't out. It was. We had this exact conversation.

He brought it out for the release of the moon, didn't he? Yeah, he brought it out For the release of the moon Didn't he Yeah he brought it out For the release Of the moon He's a gentleman The moon

Yeah yeah When did Frank Sinatra's Fly me to the moon When did he bring the moon out It was like When did he land on the moon 68 or 66 69

1966 69 0800 00 1066 Producer Battle of Hastings When did Fly me to the moon come out No when did the moon exist We did this 0800 00 1066 producer battle of hasties when did fly me to the moon come out no when did the moon exist

we did this we're getting a bit derailed here when did they release the moon yeah when did they release the moon I'm trying to tell you about the frogman fly me to the moon when did it come out the new gen of the moon

when did they release it it was out in 1955 also he didn't say fly me to the moon he said they were listening to Frank Sinatra oh 2024 oh brilliant just searching the film what are you doing Also, he didn't say he'd fly me to the moon. He said he'd never listen to Frank Sinatra. Oh, 2024. I'll get a film. 2024.

Oh, brilliant. Just searching the film. What are you doing? It doesn't matter when it was out. This year. They brought the moon out this year.

Oh, my God. 2008. Okay, 2000. Lads, I don't care. 54. By Kay Ballard. There you are. There you are.

The 64's version. So perfect time. Sinatra at 64. There you go. there you are there you go 64's version so perfect time 64 there you go there you are okay so late at night listening to a bit of

Frank Sinatra my way that wasn't him was it yeah my way suddenly I took the blows he spotted

three large strange figures ahead of him on the road. Right. Just off in the distance. The Beatles. Was he Spogman? Each were about four foot tall.

Was it the Dogman and the Wolfman? Was it the Four Seasons? Four foot tall, leathery skin. Was it Lizardman? Was it Lizardman? Sadly not. Leathery skin, but even stranger. Can I just say, isn't this around the same time in the same area as Lizardman?

Could be, man. Yeah. So they connect. Wait, are you two fucking... Oh, it's an amphibian and a reptile, isn't it? They're close enough. So each were four foot tall, leathery skin, but even stranger than the leathery skin.

Oh, right. Yeah, that's not... They had frog faces. They killed. So the salesman shits himself. He's like, fucking three frogmen there. Grab it! Turns around, drives off terrifiedits himself he's like fucking three frogmen there turns around

drives off terrified by what he's seen and the entire local law went that fucking hell watch out for these frogmen but because of one

one person going around saying if someone went into the police station tomorrow they'd get sectioned I just saw the frogman no no don't search it

because they'll ruin they'll do it they'll ruin it yeah no fact checking otherwise the facts will come up yeah yeah don't prove that he's not

talking bollocks so he comes back and there's started being more like local sightings in the area so it started like the police were saying like don't go out late

because there's fucking frog men yeah what's the frog man going to do then what's he going to do to you well that's the thing what is he going to do lick you yeah

unknown fucking intentions. Your poison lip. So suddenly, 1972, a police officer logged an official report. 72? 18 years later. Many years later. That's a long time.

Look, how many sightings in the 18 years? Oh, there's a few. Three crackheads. There's a few. There's a few. Anyways, so 1972, a police officer logged an official report and Ray Shockley

was driving around a patrol when a huge creature ran in front of his vehicle he said huge four foot isn't huge yeah it's true

his headlight illuminated it as the four foot long leathery creature was reported crouched like a frog so he hang on

so they've got leather skin but frog head yeah so it's half cow, half frog. It's not even... How is it leathery? What?

Well, only after you make that leather, yeah. Go on. I think I've just seen the photo. So before...

Oh, I've got a few photos. So before standing up tall and climbing over guardrail towards the riverbank, the officer managed to catch a picture before it disappeared.

So I've got so I've got I've got say one picture that he genuinely caught of this frog man don't say genuinely erm yeah please stop

it's not fair so he genuinely caught this picture no no no but then there's there's a couple others from other sightings as well which I'll show you afterwards

okay so erm be careful I might pass this around but go and swipe because there's more so this is the frog man in the water you can see that he's more so this is the frog man in the water

you can see that he's like way bigger yeah fair enough man you can see that's fucking Mike Wazowski that's

exactly the frog man tell me he doesn't look like a frog that's an oil painting mate that doesn't look like anything that's an oil painting what's with the eyes

the eyes glow wait they're meant to be the eyes yeah it's his eyes who's the artist that painted the polka dot with the dot that The eyes glow. Wait, they're meant to be the eyes? Yeah, it's his eyes. Who's the artist that painted the polka dot with the dot? That doesn't look like anything.

That's meant to be a frog. Who did the dot? Frogman. You're a fucking idiot. You can see his fucking pectorals. No. And his arms. It wasn't Andy Warhol.

So why is his head flashing? Like the can. Heinz can shit. That is nothing. I don't understand. That is nothing. Right, you're going gonna have to carry on so anyways

there's a few more you're a fucking invalid so a few more that's not that's not a frog man that's lizard man he's walking on two legs zoom out

what frog that is zoom that's a zoom that looks like no that looks like a rodent Lou I hate to break it to you I think Lou I think you might have like

killed this whole like segment that looks like a meerkat. Not a frog. That one's just something random. I'm just full of... What are you doing?

Fact checking Theo's discussion. So essentially... Sorry for just one second They all look so different They are the most Unrelated three photos

You could have possibly found You're trying to tell me He looks like the third one The second one The second one He's mental The second Oh is that a frog

That's not a frog mate Lewis I think you've You've now lost all Credibility for this That just That looks like a wild dog with giant legs. That doesn't look like a wild dog, it looks like a fucking frog. That does not look like a frog.

Have you ever seen a frog's legs? That looks like a lizard with double giant legs. Do you know what, I'm annoyed because these pictures are actually here. You're annoyed that we don't believe it based off these photos? Is that what you're trying to say? Because look, the reflections are real. It's an oil painting. That's not a photo.

Do you know what's hilarious? You can see the frog, man. Here is it with his tongue out. Yeah, but how do they get him in for a fucking... How do they get him in for a photography studio? Do you know what's hilarious? With all these sightings or batshit crazy things that are always American, it's always a grainy photo

or like... Because they're in the distance. How did they get that final frog for its end of year portrait, eh? I think that's on a night vision camera like at night.

Yeah, of course it is. That's why they got him in a photo studio. It's got a real, see this tongue, it's fucking... Yeah, that's so realistic, mate. I will,

out of the news of being like unbiased, it is worth saying that's what they look like they just looked nothing like what you put it's worth saying

another police officer also saw the creature around the same time however this one pulled out his rifle and shot it dead oh right so that's alright

how do they cut it then so we've got the body so he brought it back to the station and apparently it was an iguana with its tail chopped off but the sightings of the frogman continued afterwards and there's actually a film coming out and apparently it was an iguana with its tail chopped off but

the sightings of the frogman continued afterwards and there's actually a film coming out this year if you search the frogman film

the size of an iguana compared to a human sized frog is actually ridiculous you cite some stupid things search frogman film yeah go on all just lose the love land

it's like highly rated frogman film not rated frog man film not frog film frog film the frog man there you are horror film fuck off

it's a fucking true shit it's got four point wait what that's a different one frog man highly rated I'm telling you this is real stuff

see there's something and now suddenly there's a film about it and you think yeah there's some validity in this. It's Star Wars, really, isn't it? Go back a second. Who's Reddit?

Frogman 2024. Major disappointment. Small spoilers. It's always going to be critics, though. It's highly rated, though. It's always going to be critics. Just because it's a film doesn't mean it's true.

You need fucking help. Do you know what's interesting? The more I delve into it, there's like America, I think it's because of the way that the country is with, like, the different climates. But there's so many, like,

animals that they have there. Yeah. Like, England's dull, but, like, they have so many different climates. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the climate that encourages... Frog man.

Yeah, men developing frog heads. It's not men. No, no, no, no. I didn't say he was a man. You're an idiot. You said he was a four-foot frog. Man. Man.

You said he's not a man. But he's idiot. You said he was a four foot frog. Man. Man. You said he's not a man. But he's more lizard-y. They're not lizards. Well, he was an iguana, apparently. Which is an iguana, man. Wrong classification of animal. Yeah, so the 1970 frog man sighting,

that was an iguana with its tail cut off. Okay, right. But the earlier one still stands the test of time. I think I get confused with an iguana. Bearing in mind the Okay, right. But the earlier one still stands the test of time. I don't get how you get confused with an iguana. Bearing in mind the size difference is mental. No, it was like this. It's not four foot two, is it? You see this and you know the tail of a frogman.

It's like, fucking frogman. Should we finish on the quiz? Yeah. I've kind of turned my brain off, to be honest. Can we get everyone's buzzer noises, please? Don't forget, you will be dancing if you lose. Oh, I was going to go with that. What?

I heard buzz. Frog man? What did you say? Frog, I was going to go with that. What? Man. Buzz. Frog man? What did you say? Frog, what are you? Buzz. What are you? A true classic. Okay.

Question number one. What is the national flower of Japan? Frog. Buzz. That was yours. Lily. Oh. I know what it looks like.

I just don't know The Bosom Lily Can I go? I was going to say The Panda Lily

Cherry Blossom Yes Of course How do you know flowers? I just know There's a fact in it Question number two How many stripes are on the US flag?

Buzz One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Eleven. Pounding in your head? No. Forty-two? No. Oh.

Twenty? No. Okay. Including the white ones? Yeah, they had the individual stripes as well, mate. Yeah. The red and white stripes. Oh, well, it's twenty-two then.

No. Frog? Eighteen. No. I actually don't know. Is that something we should know? It depends how much you know about America. I don't think there's that many.

To do with the colonies, I think, at the start. Give us the clip. It's 28. It's less than that. Frog. That's my... Oh, shit. No, it's not.

It's less than that. This is embarrassing. What did he say? 24. 14. Frog, Buzz. Oh, wait, he went before me though. So 12.

No. 13. Yeah. Yes! Why is it 13? It was a new round. It was a new round. You went first on that new round and then me and then Reeve.

I feel like Lewis had a lot more guesses than I did. No, I didn't. I think the stars represent the state. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah. I'm fucking class. 50 stars.

Right. Yeah, but I think the flag doesn't... Because they've added new stars. I think there's 48 stars. I might be wrong. Yeah. Anyway. I don't know if they update that.

Like the Japanese flag where they made it more red. Right. What is the slang name for New York City? Big Apple? Used by the locals. It is the Big Apple. Twath frog.

It is the Big Apple. What do you buy, Stan? Go ahead. Manhattan. It's Big Apple. Well, I thought you meant the actual central part. It's Big Apple. Well, I thought you meant the actual central part.

It's Manhattan, isn't it? The city. Bronx. That's an area in the thing. It's the fucking Big Apple.

No, but Manhattan is the actual... Manhattan's an area as well. No, but it's the central island. Manhattan is the island, yeah.

That's what I thought you meant. Not the city, not the city man should we have heard of it oh I hadn't heard of it oh you were American so how are we going to know

it's from a very well known film just give it to me because I was fucking closest and mine's technically right I'll skip this one out of interest

what was it Gotham ah but it is known as the Big Apple, though. I've never heard. I don't think they do call it that. Well, it's on here. Maybe it's on Batman, nerd.

I don't know. Locals call it New York. No way. Norwegian artist, Edvard Munch, is famous for painting which iconic piece? Scream. Yes. Oh, I was going to say that. Right, 1-1-0, obviously.

You're impressed by that, aren't you? Yeah. What did you get? Oh, yeah. I'm an artist, bro. It's 1-1-0 obviously You're impressed by that aren't you Yeah Oh yeah I'm an artist bro It's 1-1-1 Right I'll do closest to this one You just didn't remember the name I just know that's some random

When Did they open The London Underground Is he That is 1959 Frog Okay

1890 1898 You do realise They used the underground Frog Okay 1890 1898 You do realise they used the underground in World War 2 He didn't know that I'm not from London You know where they hid in the blitz You fucking idiot I didn't know they could tunnel underground

1890 1898 I said 1890 Theo's right It was 1863 Fucking hell That's 2-1-1 Smart stuff Yes Right 1890. 98. I said 1898. Theo's right. It was 1863. Fucking hell, that's further than that.

That's 211. Smart stuff. Yes. Right. What happened? No, that's easy. Right, this is multiple choice. Oof. When was the first issue of Vogue published?

Actually, I'll just go, I'll just go to close this too. Fucking hell. 19. 19. 20. That's what I was going to do. Oh, frog. 19.

1924. Wasn't it the 100 years recently I don't know I'll go later than him 25 I win

what did you say Lewis got the point 1892 yes 1892 so it wasn't the 100 years then we've got two points

I'm losing so 2-2-1 I've got seven questions oh okay what the fuck what the fuck 1992. So it wasn't the 100 years then. I got two points. I'm losing. So two, two, one. I've got seven questions though. Oh, okay. What the fuck? What the fuck? What city in America is Billie Eilish from? Yeah.

Oh. Um. Um. City. I actually don't know. From? From? Um.

Buzz. Um, Texas. No. What? That's, you are fucking mental. Not a city. Can we start giving out minus points, mate? These are just. It's a state. Texas. No. What? You are fucking mental. Can we start giving out minus points, mate? It's a state. LA?

Yes. Oh, wow. Three, two, one. Is this question... This is question seven. Oh, you need this. You need this, Reeve. How many keys does a classic piano have?

Oh, no. Closest wins? Well, I probably just have to. Yeah, go on. I'll do closest wins. 45. I don't think that's right. It would be seven times four.

You never thought piano. Need answer. Maybe 35. Need an answer. Maybe 35. Oh, no. I could be well off there. What did you say? 45. I was going to go 48, but...

I estimated there may be... What are you going for? 48. Reeve gets the point because he's 88. Oh, my God. We're well off. Black Keys as well. Yes.

Right, so you've won but it's a shootout between you two for the dance. A fucking shootout? Alright, which questions? I went five. How many octaves are there?

Octaves? There's eight notes in an octave. Why did I get 35? How many C's are there? I don't know. It's Black Keys as well, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Right, I'm going to do closest to interesting when was Netflix founded oh 99 yet

oh is this the inclusion of love film which it was before when they used to post dvds no clarifications it's never been love film it's always been netflix i've got this right by the way already you can't get it correct have you actually oh okay um 2001 i might be wrong i know it's just earlier. It's either, it might be 2002. I think it's 2000. 1997. Yes!

Yes! However, there's an extra hard bonus. No, there isn't. No, no, no. I'm not keeping, no, I'm not keeping this. No, we're not doing it.

On the Quizmaster? No, you said last one. That was a tiebreaker. I'm not doing it anymore. Oh, it's funny how, it's funny how, it's funny how, it's funny how you've now changed that.

No, because every, I've already had to do a dance, the double one which we posted. I absolutely promise this is the last question, but it is an extra hard part, and it's relevant. It's a sport one. I promise.

This is just a joke that we keep going until Lewis loses. To be fair, let's make a thing. If I lose today, we all just do one together because then we're all on one dance. You should just be doing it by yourself anyway.

You need to do one as well. You need to do one as well. It's funny how you... You need to do one together because then we're all on one dance. You should just be doing it by yourself anyway. You need to do one as well. You need to do one as well. You need to do one. That's my argument. I've already had to do an extra one which you uploaded because he kept doing

extra questions. You were arguing the exact opposite this last week. You still haven't done your dance. Neither have you and neither has Reid. I have. We posted dancers.

We posted them. I've done all of mine. You need to do yours after this. I'm happily doing my dance. I'm not crying about it. Yeah, we got it. I think that's fair. If I lose,

we do one together. Rather than having three in a million. You should get this. That attitude, though. Yeah, it's a bit smelly, mate, considering you're a content creator. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should do it.

You'll be the dancer. I haven't lost yet. Very diva-ish. All right. Ever since you got that money, you know. I'm good. I quit.

Who has won the most Formula One championships? Frogs. That was me. You need to answer now. That was me. That was me. But you've won.

Oh, did you both? Yeah. Three, two, one. Schumacher. Correct. You didn't know that though which is why I was really close

with Hamilton but his is bastard no so unfortunately Lewis he's not going to be doing the dance

so actually we're going to see a group dance from you three yeah what you owe one I now owe one

and he owes one no no because we've seen the one that we put in for him and this is not on the same episode he has to do it

for next week you've got to do that one I mean for this week we could just do a group one and no you have to do your solo one actually yeah as the quiz master no more group ones it's way worse when you buy yourself exactly right um please subscribe everyone please yeah make sure you subscribe please everyone please please subscribe buy more until 50k and then we can change the set again. Please. You made it to the end. Well done, you.

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