Back Side - Sleeping With Best Friends GF! Truth Behind King Charles Dog & Football vs Music Debate…

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1Link to Gorgeous George Go Fund Me: https://gofund.me/c096b4e8 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of backside with me Reeve Theobaker Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden If you haven't already hit follow why not tap it right now for new episodes every week And if you want to see more backside catch us on YouTube tick tock and Instagram where all you have to do is search backside Let's get into it full party on COD or a full boys lineup on pro clubs again another segment when Lewis tries to make us have sex. Why you not fucking me boys? Why you fucking nipple out? It's called the loyalty dilemma.

All right, you can either have sex with them to save their life or their partner. Wait, who's the friend though in this situation? Say it's Theo. I have to either shag Theo or his last to save Theo's life. I'll be looking into those exact same eyes. A new backside record this is ladies and gentlemen. Tom is 35 minutes late. I'm sure you broke that at some point.

You were the late. Just by process of deduction. No, I am late regularly by like five minutes. Are we gonna dress? What the fuck you're wearing? So aggregate timing. Also something crazy by the way, check out Theo's drip. I hate this.

He's got running shoes on with a cycling kit. He looks like the world's worst superhero. I got running shoes on with a cycling kit. No mate, the world's worst superhero. I got running shoes on with a cycling kit. No mate, running socks on. Oh, that's what I meant. ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] Here he is! Sweating.

Hello, Tom. Oh, it's a lovely day, isn't it? Someone's had a glow-up. Someone's got new haircuts. Oh, someone's got a new t-shirt. It's definitely new. Is that Aime Leon de Bourg Paris? No.

This isn't a new t-shirt. They're new trainers. Yeah, they're fucking sexy trainers. ASICS, yeah, they're fucking beast mode. They're right there, right there. The t-shirt's not new, I just... By the way, Tom, we have breaking news. I tend to just wear shit clothes.

We have breaking news. Two bits of breaking news. Number one, you've broken the record. Now 36 minutes late. That's a new backside record. No, it's not. You've been later than that. I said that after.

Chewy Aspyn. Not for backside. Chewy Aspyn. And do you know the difference is, I have legitimate excuses. I can't help but try in being delayed 40 minutes. You live 10 minutes down the road. You could get an earlier train.

Hey, what you meant to say is, what you meant to say is, sorry. I'm sorry. That's the first thing I said when I walked in. Second of all, don't bring pitch side into this, cause yes, I hold the record. And back side. Calendar. Not back side.

No, I'm regularly five minutes late. So it adds up to what I do. No, that's not how it works. I'm never late. It doesn't add up. Anyways, we'll forgive you. He's got a point actually. That needs to be April.

No, but it should be June by the time this goes out. Yeah, it should be. Why? January, February, March, April, May. Oh shit, April's before May point actually that needs to be April. No, but it should be June by the time this goes out Yeah, it should be why January we match April me. Oh shit April to ball me. Yeah It should be june also Tom you ready for breaking news number two What what's next on the calendar let's see oh should we guess I Can't remember what you guys are making news number two. Oh, do we not remember what June was? What is the point of this set? I just gotta hold it, man. Wait, nobody remembers what June was. Oh, this is the most chaotic show ever.

He's getting Keir Van Anger at it. Oh, now he's dropping his drink. Now everything's falling off. What the fuck is he doing? This is shit. This is June, buddy. This is chaos. Oh, no.

Yes! So if you listen to this, June is the one where I've got me cock out. Which you insisted on. That was a workplace violation that day. Bro, you look hella tatted in the shot, you know. I look beast mode. The quad and the-

Yeah, I'm looking good. Is this going in? Is Will being on set going in? Yeah. All right, nice. Maybe, I don't know. I just want it so I don't have to keep moving it, because that's all I do all episode.

Well, if you want it. There you go. All right. So that. Hey, Jude. There you go, that works. Go that way, mate. Go on.

I was opted. That's fucking rogue, but fair play. All right, what's your big announcement there? Oh, I hate what we looked. Put the specs on. Really making me angry. How's even the glasses at any gas? It's so aerodynamic to be sat down for the next hour and 10 minutes. You're going to fly through this episode.

Yeah, it's like people when I did my bike when I did my bike fit yesterday, I was like why are you wearing a helmet indoors? I was like man, you never know what's around the corner. Who said that? No one said that to you. I've so many people were playing. They didn't. All right. I saw one Strava comment.

I actually think it's an improvement. Mate, you can see less of my face. You can't look like a beluga whale. It's like he's got a bullet. A beluga whale. I will say this, number two announcement. This is a big one. Lewis Bowden has generated general.

Generational. Generational. Lewis, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Number two announcement. I am not happy, wait, wait, wait. Number two. I am not happy about this. Lewis Bowden has generated generational wealth by selling over 100 shirts in the first day. Have you really sold 100 shirts?

It will be high. How much, you owe me at least 50% of that. Why? Why have you taken Beast Mode? Because you tried to, not all my, you're doing a Theo here. Because you tried to commandeer Beast Mode. I've joined in with you and taken this to a new level.

You have about four followers. Let's not do this. Wait, so you're telling me the only, if these numbers are Tom Garrett numbers, then you've fallen off. These are Lewis Borden numbers. Oh, this is not very Beat Nation you got. He's doing a Theo.

I started moving and then also now it's had a bit of success and Tom's like, this is all me. Aren't you opposing the whole philosophy of like everyone's beastish? Everyone's beastish. I said you owe me 50%. You don't even want it. It's not even worth your time. There's barely any profit on it really. Oh yeah. No, I make no money. I put it on as cheap as possible. I am now standing down as the beast mode No, this is not your fucking free brand new But you're putting this more than we've done Description lads you are shameless. He brought hope he's not even listening. I dropped so he's trying to get a cold sponsorship

Yes, frozen friend is definitely now. He's trying to put it down So you have a little look at yourself, friend. What the fuck is going on? Just adding to the chaos. He's trying to do an Ashton Hall in the corner. What's an Ashton Hall? No, no, no. I stood by you, supported you, and now you throw me under the bus.

Because I'm not giving you money. Yeah. Wow, we see real colours here, Tom. He is actually on massive hater energy there. We are not friends. You're on some crazy hater energy. As the song goes, and I see your true colours.

What's a look to the beast, Gav? I see your true colours. I don't even want the money. That's why I hate you. I want you to give me the money so I can burn it in front of him. I should stress that Lou actually doesn't accept money if he wins.

This might be the most chaotic start ever. I was just saying, you don't accept money even when you win money. Yeah, Louis, I owe you for all the producing you've been doing for my channel. And he actually- You all technically owe me money in some form. And I denied it all.

Let's not talk about people owing people money. I denied it all. You are still like your entire career. Let's not play that game. Hence why I'm not taking any money. I'd like to take that back, because you work fucking hard, and actually you don't get the all. You are worth still like your entire career. That's not fair. That's why I'm not taking anybody. I'd like to take that back, because you work fucking hard, and actually you don't get the credit that you deserve.

Thank you. You're not on that hater energy. I appreciate that, you know. I want to say that one day, you actually might turn into a beast. He used to work hard. Yeah, but he is dressed like that. Take him with a pinch of salt, mate.

Why the glasses upside down? Do you know what's funny? That's how it slips in. He's going to be that in three months. You are actually on that trajectory right now. He bought Lycra. Yeah. I know, but the glass is upside down? Do you know what's funny? He's going to be there in three months. You are actually on that trajectory right now. He bought Lycra. Yeah. I know, but the thing is, everyone likes to see an underdog win.

You know what's crazy? When Theo unzipped his t-shirt. Until they win. I know, you know, it's going to get a bit teemish here. Can I ask, what's so underdog about you being a part of one of the big... Why do you fucking nipple out? He's gone. Lewis went, ew, what are you wearing?

Like it's a giant thong. I guarantee you in less than three months you have bought one of those. Also he's acting like this isn't normal for a cyclist to wear. Yeah. Well, it just depends what type of cycle you do. I mean, you're not doing a competition.

He has cycled 15 minutes into work. I know, yeah. I do cycle competitions. No, I know, but you only live 10 minutes down the road. I'd cycle before I came in. How long for? An hour, and I've got another 30. Well, I've done more than an hour cycle.

I didn't have to wear all that shit. I really did hope that you cycled before you came here. And then I'm also going to Stripe Street after this as well. No, you got on the tube like that without a bike. Yeah. Okay. I didn't do that. What is going on? Oh no.

I did something cool yesterday. Oh, go on then. Paid at the Emirates. Ah, another one. Another one? How many? These are not just boring. No. Why would it ever get boring?

Why were you playing at the Emirates yesterday? Paid in the celebrity soccer game with all the other celebrities. I didn't see any of that online. I haven't posted it, but I will do. No, but no one else has in either? No, no. Was it under embargo? No. Yeah, it was posted on like... Were No, but no one else has in either. No, no. Was it under embargo? No.

Yeah, it was posted on like- Were there fans there? Yeah, it was like a hundred, 150. 100 fans. So not fans then, it's like people's friends and family. No, people bought tickets. They only sold a few. They only allowed a few, they only allowed like

the max capacity was like a hundred, 150. What, in a 60,000 seater stadium? Yes, because they didn't have all the security that would cost too much money. Oh, you would have sold it out otherwise, yeah. Obviously I would have sold it out otherwise. But it was really sad. He was raising money for this guy called George,

who died three years ago, and he literally was a healthy kid, and then he got a tumor in his brain and died 11 months later. If you do want to read up more, it's gonna be linked in the description, but I will say the actual football match- Yeah, shout out George.

Yeah, shout out George. The actual football match... Yeah, shout out George! Yeah, shout out George! The actual football match was fucking mental. Here we go. It ended up being about 16 on 16 on the football pitch. Then what happened in the game? We lost 9-5. Ooh, that's a lot of goals. There were 16 men on 16 on that match.

16 men on 16 men in the second half. It was like I was at Playground, actually. At the end, I must say. When I was a half. Yeah, it was like I was at playground. That's cool. At the end last week. When I was a kid. Yeah. Not when I was a kid. He's not a nonce. No.

What? Well, allegedly. But I played really well. Well done, mate. And I should have scored twice. What, three times? I'm really sorry, right? I hate this.

I find this chat so inane. Like my mate does this to me after he's played football. He's like, so I got the ball. I'm like, you expect me to like picture this Sunday? You've just like. You don't have to picture it Tom because it's coming soon to the Instagram. My highlight reel with my throw in.

Yeah. Another highlight reel. I just find that type of chuck. No, we're all happy for you mate. Wouldn't you love to play at the Hawthorns? I played there. When? Years ago for a chuck.

No, when did I ask? So mean, he heard your entire sentence. I knew you were about to say that and I just? No. When did I ask? So mean. He heard your entire sentence. I knew you were about to say that and I just carried on. How old were you? You know what we need to do with this whole when what thing with you? Just carry on and pretend it's not there.

I agree. I don't like it. I'm an angry piggy today. Where were you? I'm angry. I might have a bit of anger. You've always got a little, you've always got some anger. That's normal.

You're bubbling under the surface. You just tried to take down Beast Nation ten seconds ago. No, that's done. Address the elephant in the room of Tom's got some anger. That's normal. You're bubbling up to the surface. You just tried to tick down Beast Nation ten seconds after. No, that's done. Address the elephant in the room of Tom's breakfast this morning. Yeah, did you like it? I've rated it. I said class. I thought it might have been the worst thing I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, sorry. Is it not poached egg on toast and a bagel with cream cheese and avocado? That's not true. That's not true. It wasn't a white monster. Oh, sorry. You've done me there then. It wasn't a white monster.

I like avocado. It was a monster. No, you said a white monster. It's the best monster gooey. Gooey? That was the most normal gooey. Have you ever had the Alta Rosa? Oh God. I don't know. I had about four.

It is strawberry, right? I don't really know. No, it's like. It can't be that much strawberry. I'm surprised you don't know because you are an addict. I don't know what that is or what you're talking about. That and the pipeline punch are the best. That's the best.

How much caffeine is in a monster? 180, 160. Not actually that bad. Yeah, it's not that bad. But I will say something. It made me piss like a race horse. Oh mate, there's such a... Did they?

I have four pissies on the train. They make you piss your life away. I don't know, just the stuff they have inside, isn't it? Chemicals. Oh yeah, it is, isn't it? Everything's a chemical. It's flushing out all the cum inside me. Right.

So did it come out of your ass? You really, why do you look so proud when you say that? He looked at me with pride there, like he said the word cum. I'll never play golf again. Oh, welcome to the club, man. Fucking honestly, so depressing. Why?

He was the new hybrid. Oh no, the new sevenwood. He's so depressing. Why? Even with the new hybrid. Oh no, the new 7wood. He's so good. You need to use it. He's been upsold by Sevco Michael Brown. I went and bought a 7wood the other day. How much was it, Tom? Because Sev told you to.

Tom, how much was it? That Sev video's a 9wood. I tried to, I asked for a 7wood or a 9wood. I was a bit drunk. How many, yeah. A 9wood on it. Seven, but carry on. Are you sure?

I'm 100% sure. It's a 7wood, Tom. He's posted five videos about his 7wood. The Sev video I saw, I'm on it seven but carry on I Would he's posted what I videos about seven would the said video I saw I'm sure was annoying would what does a seven would even Look like it's just a really hard word with a bigger. Honestly, mate. You can't lost. Yes, really good How much did you buy for? Holy shit man, you got it from a pro shop 330. Holy shit, man. Really good. You got it from a pro shop. He was drunk. I was a bit drunk. It was the shop he came out. It was when we went out on the. Was that the AG at Canary Wharf? Yeah. You bought it from. Stratford, innit?

Oh, is that. No. Canary. Granite. The Stratford. Or two driving. Yeah, Granite, sorry. Not Canary. Yeah, it's more Stratford than Canary Wharf, innit? It's nowhere near Stratford. It's neither. Literally on the other side of the river. Yeah. It's boys. It's not thatary Wharf, ain't it? It's nowhere near strapped. It's neither. Literally on the other side of the river. Yeah.

It's boys, it's not that far. We drove past the West Ham ground. Yeah, probably about 15 minutes prior. Yeah, we didn't, it only took us 15 minutes to get there. Did you play the mini golf course? No, I just hit some balls. Anyway. I can't believe you bought it from there.

That's hilarious. Some balls. Well, that's just a normal golf course. It's hilarious. American golf. Then I went and played golf yesterday. Only a par three, nine, nine holes. Right. It's like a seven wood with you.

No, no. Can you stop? It's not in front of you. Piggy. You've just fucked it up now. It was in a position there. Oh, that's a sort of talk like that on a fucking pond. If you show up, you've only been doing it for three years.

People will be able to listen. If you shut your fucking point, man, what's your face? I can't. Yeah. be able to listen if you shut your fucking polymath. I can't. Yeah, maybe talk into the mic. I can't. Try it. He's not angry though guys.

You make me angry you little gym by fixing your mic. No, he's not angry though. Talking shit. So anyway, so when I played, I was on for my best ever round there, six holes in. I was two over. That's pretty good. Very good for me.

Yeah, on a par three. I ended up 15 over. Oh no. I rate the fact that you're never playing again because I would be the same. I've got a golf day next Friday, Edgbaston, I've got to play. Edgbaston? What, the cricket ground?

It's Edgbaston Golf Club. Oh, it's that. Edgbaston's an area. Yeah. You fat cunt. He also said it was sweet for him. Sorry. He's the one that saved the cricket.

Sorry, he's rambling. I literally went, Edgbaston and he goes, what the cricket Grau. Just an easy target when you're wearing that today though. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Blame him. So I've booked a lesson this week. What's the problem then? I don't know.

Because honestly, usually my short game is okay. When I say okay, I can hit the ball and like, he's shanking it everywhere then it's going that way. Yeah. Off the hosel. Yeah. I don't know why. What you should do. If you, you won't play golf. Why do you aim over there? No, that's not how it works. And then the last two holes, I am not joking.

I lost all ability to just hit the ball. Well, you got a 17. I don't understand. I don't get to just hit the ball. Well, you got a 17 once. I don't understand. I don't get it. That's golf, man. So annoying. It's so annoying, but I'm having fun. You're not though.

That is the sport in a nutshell, to be fair. This Mike. Has anyone seen that fucking alpha dog? Don't be talking like this. I love him. The King Charles. Oh, fuck, trust you. Just like, trust you.

Do you want to go home? Trust you take the fun out of anything. You go home. I've read the- Just sort your head off, you boy. I've read the theories on this, and I think it's because it's the owner's dog. So- Oh no, he's the alpha.

I know, but the reason why is because he's the owner of the kennel's dog. And obviously all those other dogs are treated by the owner. Oh, is this the one where the dog just lies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It walks through and the giant black dog goes. No, so I know, so essentially. This one, giant black dog.

If you don't, if you have no idea what. Why did you bring that into it? Because I don't know what the breed's called. He's also, by the way, these dogs are funnies because that dog is a bitch. If you have no idea what we're on about and you're listening, essentially at this dog kennel, there's the dog King Arthur or King whatever it is.

King Charles and he has German shepherds, big fucking fuck off dogs shitting themselves as soon as he walks in. The dog comment, no teeth bed, no bark, not even a grout. It's the number one one that's crazy. He's not even a big dog. What on earth?

Yeah, look, watch this one here, bang. On this one here, the key moment, watch it, can we go back? Watch the German shepherd. As soon as he sees him, he goes, Oh, he's trying to announce that he's coming, he's warning. He said bowing, bowing! It's crazy, it's actually crazy. Did you not see though, he got challenged the other day by a new dog.

So a new dog wouldn't back down to him. Why does everyone fear him? Oh, why's that one? It's not fear, it's respect. Yeah. So this is where he's putting him in and making him submit. Why is everyone talking about Marlborough? The dog has done some serious shit.

Yeah, but a dog came in and wouldn't submit, so all the other dogs started beating him up because they wouldn't submit to the king and they had to take the dog out of the yard. Is it not because that's the owner's dog of the kennel though? No, it's normally whoever has the strongest scent. Oh. Man, what a fucking ball. He is actually... He actually is a con. That's the owner's dog of the kennel though. No, it's normally whoever has the strongest scent. Oh. Man, what a fucking board. He is actually, I can't think of any animal in the world right now who has, or human,

who has more aura than this guy. It doesn't look like a King Charles Cavalier. I think it's actually- Was his name King Charles? Yeah, it's not a King Charles Cavalier, they're a farm. But yeah, imagine if humans operated like that, whoever had like the biggest, like stunk the most.

Oh, well you'd be first. Then you're just like, people bow. It's about a nice smell. No, it won't be a nice smell to us. It'll stink as shit. That's a grill. It's not even that big. Honestly, they're all fannies.

That's what it is. He leads with honor though, and he's a fair leader. You do not know that. I've watched so many videos. He fucking leads with honor. He leads with honor though, and he's a fair leader. You do not know that. I've watched so many videos. He leads with honor. He leads with honor. There's no way you put that in a description. I love animal videos, but I just don't get the obsession with it.

I've got a theory on this. I think, you know how like that dog, oh fucking hell, this is a real, you know how he's learned to put his paws on their belly like that? A lot of dogs, I've never seen that before. Dogs do that. It's a thing, it's like they're supposed to basically submit and then once they submit he'll get off. Oh, fair enough.

Poppy does that to my arm if I stop stroking her. Yeah, well he's clearly like... He's certain dominance there. Look at that, power stance, letting them know and when they start licking the lips, the other dog, that's when they're trying to say, look, I'll be friends, I'll be friends. He's the most wolf-like out of all the dogs there as well. No eye contact, love that. and one of them started licking the lips of the other dog that's when they're trying to say, look, I'll be friends I'll be friends. He's the most wolf like out of all the dogs there as well. No eye contact. Love that.

Bro's just an alpha man. He is such a fucking big dick dog. Just get videos of dogs, guilty dogs, they're better. Oh, I've watched them this morning. It's literally what my brother said. It's fine, he's like, the dog's eating a whole chicken Parmesan dinner, and he just goes in the corner and stares at the corner. The best one. We're like, what did you do there? Dogs eating a whole chicken parmesan dinner

What did you Whole chicken parmesan He's invisible the best one the best one is when there's when there's two guilt there's two dogs and there's literally like- No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Who did it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You fucking little rat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good. Look at this video, mate.

Why'd you split this up? There's a pair of them that's so much funnier because they rat the other one out so quickly. Yeah, guilty dogs are so fucking good. Fucking do me up the arse swiftly. Not the dog. They literally hit themselves straight away. Dogs are fucking...

Mate, it's crazy how much loyalty they have to the owners, right? Dogs are class, man. Would you fuck a dog for one million pounds and he's live on match of the day? Mate, I got- Match of the day? So, no, no, shut up, I'm asking a question.

No. No. 10 million. No. 20 million. No. 500 million. You'd be remembered- That's such a lie. I'm not sag. 500 million. You'd be remembered for-

That's such a lie. I'm not dragging a dog live on matches a day. You'd be remembered for the rest of history there, wouldn't you? That's a snuff for free. They got your shitty ass. Can I ask a question? On this, is it like part of a segment on the show,

or is it even on the pitch, and it's part of the highlights package? So, Gary Lineker goes, well, not Gary Lineker anymore, whoever goes. Hello and welcome to Match of the Day. Wayne Lineker. The games we've got on today. Yeah, Wayne Lineker. Hello, so on Match of the Day. The games we've got on today. Wayne Lineker. Hello so on Match of the Day today. Here we go.

You're not loading the dogs right now. And the announcers of the games, we've got Ian Wright and we've got fucking, I don't know, Marbollocks next to me. Alan Fiery. In the analysis. Just before we start, Theocles Ruining On starts fucking a dog. That's it. Oh so it's part of the highlights package. It's not like a skills and tricks segment. It's the introduction mate. The start of the opening package. It's not like a skills and tricks segment. No, it's the introduction, mate. No, it's the start of the openings. Yeah, the introduction. Wow. So before we go over to Garry Mowbray, who's doing-

Da da da da da da da da da da. Oh, fuck. Oh my God, have you seen- So, 500 million. Have you? No. Come on, seriously, 500 million. Have you been remembered for the rest of time?

You know, you know, you know, you know, as the guy that fucked the dog up last year. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,

you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, Remember liver king? No, who's he? He's got a documentary out and the only thing I've seen Oh, I watched it the other day Is he's talking dead serious and he goes, I remember the first time I came was a bench press He's not Australian Fucking crocodile Dundee I think it was a nose and a I remember the first day mate The first time I came

The first time I came It was no surprise when I did an overhead shoulder press Almost admit it And it cuts to a video of him going, ugh It has annoyed me Primal ancestors in me made me cum. It's annoyed me a bit he's got that documentary cause he is a fucking fraud.

Oh yeah, he is absolutely a fraud. He got out of being a fraud and just went down that entire route like, yeah my fucking. But that documentary is like, Yeah he spent a year saying he never did drugs. He's kind of him like telling his story and he's, he's a fucking liar. He's a lying cunt and do you know how much he makes a month?

Oh so much. Do you know why he got- From pretending to eat testicles. They reckon he has 250,000 orders a lying cunt. And do you know how much he makes a month? Oh, so much. Do you know why he got- From pretending to eat testicles. They reckon he has 250,000 orders a month. I thought you do. Jesus. He's pretending to eat testicles. That's like an ejecting trend.

You know, like, his audience, right? Like, they actually, obviously lost a lot of them, but they actually didn't care because they want his supplements. They still want to do this shit. But they don't give a fuck. That's what I mean. It's so stupid. He lied to everyone, but then they don't give a fuck. I went what I mean, it's so stupid. He lied to everyone, but then they don't give a fuck. I went to co-op, bought our-

Here we go, get ready for a riveting story. You know the little chicken satay dips, I just needed something in me. And then, mate, dairy milk chocolate orange cookies. Have you had them? Yep. I just went on about these cookies. You've bought them in and made us some of them before.

I had two. I literally gave you- Oh fuck! Have you seen the new Bounty Crispy Rolls? Oh my God. What is going on with- B.O., you love Bounty, yeah? Not really, but I do.

I do, I do. I love Bounty. You remember the old, they've bought out Bounty Crispy Rolls? Yeah, I'm all over that. I'll try that. It's so good! That's my bad, B.O.

Oh, sorry. Why was that so- Yeah, I don't know. Out of the- But I will say- I had him yesterday. That was a Bratheo Baker moment. Yeah, I'm all over that. He remembered something from I had him yesterday. That was a very Theo Baker moment. He remembered something from-

No, it's because I thought you love bounties. I thought you'd been buzzing. I will like that though. Fuck! Wentomaki's got cheese dippers. Coconut! Chicken Katsu wrap. If you added the chicken Katsu wrap, class.

And the new peppercorn double smoke out. Right, we got- Oh yeah, right. I tried oysters. Not in the food section, man. Oh yeah, she's talking about our little date. Oh yeah, go on. Talk about your date night.

So, well essentially we've gone off to- You've got to stop getting these show members drunk and then asking them out on this. So he forced me to come on a video with him. We're not forced, he asked and I said yes. Oh wait. But he lied to me. Tom, I thought you were just hanging out.

No, he lied to me. I was all for content now. He was meant to be rating the best Guinness around London. So I was like, cool. Come here, ask us. After one Guinness, it turned turned into let's just go to the shitties pubs and have the shitties Guinness possible I was like I won't even I won't even in the mood to drink that day I could be outside of the drink interject it so you change your video to I tested the worst

It's not even that it's me. I'm gonna had to get pissed. And then we had a few drinks. I was like, should we just go to a driving range? And he was like, yeah, fuck it. We found that online, got an Uber there. We were a bit drunk actually. We didn't eat. We all smashed. Why didn't you eat?

Shock. No, no, none of that. It was, we know we did go for food after. Then we were there. We were like, let's go for a nice meal. I was like, oh, there's this one in Leicester Square that's banging. You're in Leicester Square?

No, no, we didn't in the end. Anyway, we went to Hawksmoor. Went to Hawksmoor. Oh, by the way, when he mentioned that I was there, because I'd just been with Charlie for anniversary and it was fucking fortune. Sure, that's a good one actually, yeah. But it's tasty, yeah, Sean.

So good. But what did I, I put in the chat, didn't know something about it. He said he's been weird, but I got a save it. He said you ordered him something. He didn't ask for order, it's so- I didn't know I'd ordered. He's been weird, but I had a goal. He ordered him something. He didn't know how to order. It's so, it's so. I didn't know how to order it. I was smashed though. And then we got a voice note of you going, shut up, have the nerve. I'm literally was there to do it. I don't know how to make an order.

I don't know. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I'll just go on and I'll, next thing I knew, Tom had like six oysters coming out. I ordered scallops. Scallops. Scallops are nice. We had sea bone steak, a lob lobster on the side, bottle of really expensive wine. Shatter nerve to pop. It was your video right? So did you pay? Yeah, it was like nearly £4.500. I paid for half of it except from the wine. Oh you spent £200. By the way, I can't lie. And we were doing bets in the pub. And I lost bets in the pub. Mate, I can't afford.

She had to send me 300 quid? Hence why, please buy the t-shirts, because paying for the fucking steak, I can't, I woke up the day after. Look, you know you have to grow an adult that makes adult decisions and like controls your life. I know, but I wanted a nice steak when we were out all day.

And a pudding age, you had a banging pudding age. Oh, I had said happy anniversary. You spent 500 quid at home. No, I think it comes to 450 quid. Oh, okay had said happy anniversary. You spent 500 quid at Hornsworth. No, I think it comes to 450 quid. I sent him 300 quid the day after. So it only cost me 150. So you didn't get half of it. No, he owed me £100 from bets.

But mate, I felt sick the day after. I was like, oh, it's a nice day. Do you not have a girlfriend? Yes. It was banging stuff. Why is that relevant? It It was a banging state. Why is that relevant? It never sounds like you spend any time with her. She's not here at the moment.

Do you wanna go out some day? No, I don't man. I'm trying to not dream. I wanna- Well we don't, well we know. You literally said you're gonna come ballers Monday. Do you wanna come ballers Monday? Can I ask about this Hawksmoor experience then?

Ballers. Is it a final four now? Are you going ballers? Monday, yeah. Final four, innit? Yeah, I'll go for that one. My mate's coming, actually. Well, I'm not gonna be with him.

He's with his wife and his kids, but. Nah, but Tom was sick as well that night. Oh yeah. Were you? Oh my God. Oh, this is a good story, actually. So we went for a few drinks after, obviously, cause we're lads.

After you shat enough to pop. Yeah, and we got in there and I actually think, I went to the toilet and I think the smell of... what made me sick can you remember? Well no because what happened was I was there and he wanted to tip them so he left without telling me where he was going. He was gone for like 15 minutes. He walked more. It took me ages to find the cash point. The waiter was coming up to me and he was like have you been left? I thought I'd run away from him. Has he done a runner? I was battered though, I walked the wrong way.

Why don't you just tip my card? Because she said if I tip my card it goes to everyone, and I don't like doing that. I want to tip her personally. She was very good, wasn't she? Yeah, she was lovely. You could have just given her your number, that's a tip. Well yeah, they thought she left.

Anyways, it was after you had a little bit of dessert, you left your dessert, and then that made you feel a bit wheezy at the bar. Oh yeah, it was very... What did you have? It was like an apple was it was very rich. It was like an apple. It was very sugary. You should try the cheese. Anyway I threw up, threw up. I threw up. Come back and I swear to God it tasted so nice in my mouth.

All I could taste was the steak, the wine, the lobster. So I was just sat there tasting my own sick, you know, usually you're sick in your mouth. He's like, oh, it was fucking- It was gone to me afterwards. He's like- He's like regurgitating his food. No, it was quite like, after he was like, mmm.

Oh, I just saw Nathan lobster-y. I'm like, that is awful, mate. It's a steak. Skull rancid. Can we rewind a second? I would like to just like delve deeper into obviously Lewis Bowden at Hawksmoor, if you don't mind, dear Tom.

Oh, it was embarrassing. So let's start with the- It's not embarrassing. We ordered it like- It was our anniversary, right? How did you find the scallops and the, what did you get? Honestly, I think I was-

Oysters. He had oysters from the first round. I feel like he might eat those saw-bell with a jar because that was smashed. Did you get really horny? They're in Aphrodis yet, right? Well, that was the end of the night. Oh, we kissed?

Did we? Yeah, because I kept telling them- But you didn't remember. You got your eyes closed. No, no, no, because I kept telling them that it was our anniversary. But you keep't remember, you were like, you had your eyes closed. No, no, no, because I kept telling him that it was our anniversary. But you keep doing this. Yeah, it was funny.

No, but then you say, right, prove it, and then you lean forward and pouted, and then I kissed you, and then you started laughing. Lewis, you do have a habit of doing this every time you're drunk now. Can you just stop doing that? He whined and died in two out of the three. That was your idea, and it was your idea.

It wasn't my idea to tell everyone it was our anniversary and then pretend to hold hands the whole time.. When Lewis gets drunk it's almost like he actually goes into his own little like world and like everything around him doesn't, it's not real life. It's just like a game he's playing. Please stop tapping the table. Please I beg you with all my heart. Have you noticed that? So okay. What are you trying to say? When you're really drunk. Like the thugden of drunk people. Yes. Nah, just like, it wasn't anything nasty. She obviously knew we were drunk

and same with the weird thing with us. Laughing on, like it's not being rude, it's just being silly. Wait, what did you think of the scallops and the lobster? I remember I tried lobster only once before. That's when Cal took me for dinner actually. You have full lobster. You're too cultured now, man.

It's kind of a surprise. The oyster was- I think it was in a half, yeah, I can't remember. And I can tell you, they're good oysters, because you know it's a good oyster if it doesn't stick to the bottom. Fuck it, that's what these are. Do you know what it was like?

It tastes like anything. They're just like slimy and salty. I've never had them. I was so drunk, but it was like, you could feel the sensation of it. No, but you can't. Oh, I can imagine. Oh, God.

I'm not a fan of them. You just swallow them whole. No, you can chew them, they taste nice. I chewed the second one, I wasn't too sure. It's like sea bogeys. You just swallow them whole. No, you can chew them. They taste nice. I chewed the second one. It's like sea bogeys. Yeah, you're eating sea bogeys. When you were sick, you were probably sick out of home.

No, I didn't, because I chewed them. What did you think of the lobster, then? I don't always chew them, actually. Lobster was lovely. Lobster was really nice. The sculptor was nice. Really nice. I think the T-bone stayed.

Yeah. You were feeding me little bits of lobster with your fingers actually. That never happened. What did the waiter think of you ordering everything with a golf club on? What did the waiter think of you ordering everything with a golf club on? I thought that you were putting a golf club to eat the lobster. I'm sorry Tom, that was a golf club.

Is there a video in the chat? You were feeding me lobster with your hand. Mate, he was, and at the same time he was putting on this leather glove. A leather glove? Yeah, a leather golf glove. Oh the same time he was putting on this leather glove. A leather glove? Yeah, a leather golf glove. It was my oyster glove. Did you eat the oysters with your golf glove? I think I took it off. I think I was just being a silly guy.

I must admit I didn't realise how drunk we was until towards the end. What do you think of the T-bone steak? You can't be wrong with the T-bone steak. What do you think of the Chateau Nerf de Pape? Chateau Nerf de Poppe? Did you have a glass? You had a glass, didn't you? You had a whole pot of it, didn't you?

No way. I had a glass. I left a bit. I had a glass. I left a bit. It was expensive. I was fucking trollied. Like I don't know why.

If you drink red wine though, is your head not the next thing? Just pound it. Bang, bang it. I felt grim with the after. Yeah, just get over it, don't you? It was funny though. So you love the Hawkeyes, do you?

Yeah, I only not be go like once a year, like I'll take Charlie there for my birthday. Did you get told off by them when they were laughing too loud? He did. No, it was quite empty. We weren't that loud. We weren't actually being that loud. We had a noise complaint.

No, I didn't. That's not okay. He just kept trying to touch my cock under the table. Why'd you bring that up? It was just- You brought it up by standing. I was intrigued to see if obviously like one rule- If anyone else- If it's one rule for one person, another rule for another.

No, mate, it's just really romantic. No, mate, we've got respect for others around. Yeah, I did have respect as well actually. Hmm clearly not We said I do have respect for others act well actually anyway, are you ready for a generational gas goggles? This room we can do that. Yeah We get that done first. Well, just want to get out of the way. I know I don't like it goes on for too long No, we get, this one's unreal. I promise you. All right. But let's just give it a chase.

The fans, you are going to love this. Right. Here we, and also shout out to certain people in my Instagram DMs who've helped me with this. You're the guilts. Just to let you know, all three are from America. Do it. And they're absolutely- I could be stumped here are from America And they're absolutely back shit crazy. So number one octopus predicts stock market with 80% accuracy

How can you predict Before NASA intern accidentally replies to alien transmission Oh, you should know about that one. Town elects chicken as mayor to protest corruption. True. The animals are always mayors. No, they weren't though, because that was the fake one last time. I promise you. The goat one in Vermont was fake. That was real. No, it wasn't real. It was real and I was right about it. Get off your phone. I've got a question for you. Get off your phone. Am I misremembering here? I swear that was the fake one. The gort one was real. Tom.

And I, cause I said the same, animals are always mares. I think that was the fake one. I need to know, What's going on here? Who's the alien they were talking to? Okay, so in Houston, Texas, That's a good question.

Oh, that's where NASA is. Yep. A summit intern at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory reportedly replied, LOL, to what experts believe was an intelligence signal from deep space. The intern who believed the message was a prank from a coworker clicked reply all

and sent the response back. Now astronomers are scrambling to intercept potential followups. One senior scientist was quoted as saying, I think this was tongue in cheek, if they invade, this is on coil. I will say, lads, we've cracked the code, okay? Think about it, okay?

Think about it. How do they respond? This is not true. Yeah, wouldn't it be world new? If it was, yeah, if they had alien fucking messages, like WhatsApps, right? Yeah. It's world new.

I don't know if it's a WhatsApp. It's world news. Surely any contact with Deep Space would be like- World news. I, there's always stuff. You have to just be in that sphere. I'm in the alien sphere. There is actually stuff, I swear to God.

It's just not- What's alien rest of the world? They can't call it like alien if they don't know what it is. No, you can't if it's a headline. It's a headline. That's kind of what an alien is. You get called an alien if you go to Thailand.

If you're from like the UK. That's what they refer to people that aren't from the country. Octopussies are technically aliens. They're so far away from everything we know on this earth. Alien just means something you can't, it could be like a sound from like a star. What's alien Reddit saying? What's the-

Not Reddit, but alien news. There's a lot of alien news going on at the moment. It's his own kind, isn't it? Crop Field over in... Oh, the classic? Classic one, right? They can't hear you, mate. Are you getting your bike out?

No, I'm just getting my water. Right, do you want to hear any more questions on the others? What's the chickens name? It's the alien one. So, in Ohio, in a bold move to protest years of government scandal, residents in Ohio elected a live chicken named Maya Henny Penny. Since taking office, petty crime and traffic violations have mysteriously plummeted. And what year is this? It doesn't actually say the year. See, if it was recent, I feel like Logan Paul

would have like said something about it. He's from Ohio, isn't he? Yeah, but- That's something he would do. Oh, sorry, it does. It was 2014, this was 2014. Alas, he's a crook. Locals say the chicken just had a calming presence

while some claim corrupt officials resigned out of shame the town is now petitioning for henny yeah well we're going for the faint imagine you get replaced by a chicken now the town is petitioning for henny to run for governor governor that means yeah may join in here about the octopus yep octopi so in new York, a marine biologist from MIT has accidentally trained an octopus named Calamari Jones to predict... Calamari Jones! Fuck off! Fuck off, man.

Yeah, that's... Calamari Jones. To predict stock trends by choosing between coloured shells representing different companies. Over a six-month experiment, Calamari correctly forecasted market moves with 87% accuracy. Question. Now, major headphones are offering the lab millions to rent Calamari. A spokesperson for Goldman Sachs said,

we don't understand it, but neither does half of Wall Street will take any edge. That's not true because think about it guys. So say there's two colleagues you've got to choose between this octopus, right? Yeah. Who's in charge of putting the colour to the fucking company? Can you stop tapping?

I beg you so much. Yeah, it's really jarring. Cause I'm right next to you. A human is in charge of putting what ex company with yellow, ex company with red, right? Yeah. The octopus will most likely probably target only yellow or only red.

It has a favourite colour perhaps, right? Oh, he's an expert. Octopus is always predicted stuff. So it's down to the human to link them. Don't you remember that one that predicted the whole World Cup? Yeah. And it is just 50-50. Paul the octopus, isn't it?

It is just 50-50, isn't it? Yeah. Up or down? Well, yeah, but I imagine it's not just one... Is that what they do? Like, 87% green or red. Calamari Jones. Can you stop farting?

Surely the NASA one would... No, but they... obviously humans choose the name. Like you make out, like, his mom chucks that name. And he also... They probably choose funny names, don't they? No, no. ChatGBT chose Calamari Jones. All that, yeah.

ChatGBT chose Calamari Jones. Yeah, but no one laughed at Mayor Hennypenny. That's another animal. That's a proper name. That's a real... I can imagine, mate. We're over. But calamari's a set of barks. It's the wrong species, boys. Lewis is right. We know animals are mares. Are we guessing for the truth or false again? Fake one.

Is it false? The fake one. How many times have we done this? What are your thoughts on the alien one? Because for me that just doesn't land. Let us know in the chat what you think the fake one is. And also like and subscribe. I think aliens are real, but I don't understand how you respond to an alien. Yeah, and also the article sign-up of him going, this one's on Kyle. That's too much of a sitcom ending. You know they say she just, or whoever did it, just...

Don't worry guys, when they come on the main... You know when they put LOL? What, she just typed LOL and clicked enter on one platform? LOL yeah. On email? I don't know. Why is it going to the enter? Because she thought it was a joke. And you said it's on Kyle. But it's a girl. Hang on a second. It could be a girl called Kyle mate.

Guys, it can't be a joke because if it was a prank... Sexist. Like the prank would have had to come from a person in the office who can't send a message through space Because look in the office look I can't go into more detail kind of because then it'll give away the fake ones That's all you've got. You've got to try and work it out yourself Well, we'd be clucking mad not to pick the chicken My instinct is alien. I feel like that just be would would just be big good news and we should have heard about it Yeah, I think it's a headline that's probably blown out proportion and it's just a little

Give me a breakdown because they're always usually quite funny and wrong. Um, I think it's a headline that's probably blown out of proportion and it's just a little silly message. Give me your breakdown because they're always usually quite funny and wrong. I like the thing, I know the answer. The space one is true, but it's not actually an alien. It's just a sensationalized headline. Chicken one, definitely true because chicken, mare, that's fine. Octopus is, no that one's all true. So you just said two are definitely true, but the other one's not. They're all true then, guys. We'll see you next week. Calamari Jones. I don't think the name is the detail that you should get out of it.

Oh my god, actually, I know what he's trying to do. He knows I always go with animal mare. So now what he's done is got a fake animal mare. The animal mare last time was fake. The goat was fake. It was true. It was a goat. The goat was the. It was true. It was a goat. The goat was the fake one.

Oh yeah, true. Cause I was saying there wasn't goats in the country. Cause you were like, oh, a goat's even there. And it was the fake one. So you're going to get done by another fake animal. Come on. I think it's the alien. I think statistically I'm always wrong on this show.

Octopuses are always testing things though. And they are big brains as well. So maybe he does actually know something. And Wall Street people are fucking mental. Yeah, they'll get, they'll try and do anything to get an edge, won't they? Yeah. Even if it's octopus.

Tentacle. Octopussy. Good film. No, it's not. It's so dated. I think the real fake one is the alien. The real fake one. I think it's alien. Guys, we're going alien, we're locking in.

Locking in. The ending of that story is just so like. Calamari George. Blame it on Kyle. Yeah, just to make things clear, you said the other two were definitely real. Definitely. Should we change our mind?

No. No, you've clocked in now. Right. Clocked in. Can't remember what that says. All three are fake. Oh, right,, there you go. You can't just do that.

Yeah. We won. Yeah, we won. Yeah, technically you win. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to prove how much of a fucking idiot you are. Well, of course that's the game.

You can't keep doing that because then we're never gonna have the course. Yeah. The more times you just do stuff. Yeah, they were good. They were good. You can't use them again. Well, they're all fake.

They're all fake. You made those three good ones. I mean, chatGBC did a good job. That's. I can't use them again. Well, they're all fake. They're all fake. You know, there's three good ones I mean Chuck GVC did a good job. That's what they were so stupid though I thought you might have I thought you might have clocked on the chicken ones definitely real There's the Lords of Bears who are animals in America. No, we because that was already told you I would The other the would just take the bear was a sergeant. So basically you've got a free win there. So well, yeah Thank you. Congrats. Oh, yeah was a sergeant. So basically you've got a free win there so well done, congrats. I'll tell you that. You were hell-bent that two were actually true, like can you imagine we like just said all of them are true. He actually did, he actually did, he went these two are true

and I think the octopus one is as well. That's actually true, the one time all three are fake, Lewis thinks all three are true. That means I sensed something was off then. No, you're not taking a win there. It shows I knew something was going on. You were almost in a playing field. Anyway, moving on. Got a couple of questions guys. Yeah. Yes.

First one, Tom's not allowed to answer. I'll suck it. But on a night out, would you rather lose your phone or lose your wallet? Wallet. Wallet. Wallet. All right, Wallet. Wallet. All right, this is prime lockdown.

Obviously, well actually maybe not just generally, but like we're throwing it back a bit here. Pause. Full party on Cod or a full boys lineup on pro clubs? Oh. Party on Cod. Party on Cod. Cup at the back.

Pro clubs are, I'm a definite pro club. Nah, cup at the back with throw knives and ride shields and then you talk shit and say, yeah, you can't get all. Wait, do you remember back in the day when you were like, there'd be a seventh? I never come up the back with throw knives and ride shields and then you talk shit and say, yeah, you can't get all- Wait, do you remember back in the day when you were like, there'd be a seventh? I never really played COD with my friends because I was so shit at it.

So I'll go pro- Do you actually not like search and destroy and shit? No, I was so bad at COD. I just played FIFA when I was younger, really. Mate, like a full clan. We played like- They're both close though. We'd play like knife in games and that,

or things like that. Like search and destroy. Oh, the Mike Myers game is unreal. Everyone climbs to the top of high rise. Yeah. Okay. Anyway. Interesting one for everyone here.

Would you never use social media again or never be able to go to the pub again? Never be able to go to the pub again. Cause otherwise we wouldn't have a job. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. What about everyone?

Probably could go to a bar. Ah, yes. No, but all you need could go to a bar. Ah, yes. No, but are you made to go to a club? And a restaurant with, oh, you have no seats, don't worry, I'll just sit at the bar. I know, but I love- Oh, he's a 5D chest tip, mate.

I know, but I love pubs. You kind of have to say the social media. I love the food stall, as well. I think I'd go with pubs reluctantly. Your job is the social media. Plus, yeah, I ain't going back to normal job like you schmucks. Yeah. Oh, it's a joke.

Would you rather a world with no football or a world with no music? World with no music. No music, yeah, that'll be all right. No football. No football, definitely no football. We'd have to sacrifice pitch side, but I mean, we could just not watch the games.

No music. There's other sports you could get involved in with no football, but you couldn't do no music. No music for the rest of your life is crazy. How could you do no music? I'd go insane. Or the way it works is... Without your Taylor Swift, you'd go and sing.

The way it works is every time a song comes on, your brain shuts down, you can't hear anything. No, but think about it, when you like, you know, when you listen to podcasts, whatever, but sometimes you do need music. Oh yeah, of course. Films would be better. I actually do like, I know you may not... But when you were back in the day, like when you were writing stuff, whatever, but sometimes you do need music. Oh yeah, of course. When you were back in the day, like when you were writing stuff, like,

if you did a really hard 5k, you couldn't do that with a fucking podcast. I've never, I've never. That wasn't the way I was going to go. That I was going to say like there's so much, so much of life involved music. I've never, I've never stood up. I wouldn't listen to music. But when you walk out at a football match and there's like silence. so much of life involved music. I've never, I've never stood up. I wouldn't listen to music. When you walk out at a football match and there's like silence.

Yeah, but no, there's a crowd. I've never stood up screaming at a song. I've never felt that euphoria. I've never stood up. You've never known karaoke. Aren't you going to Sam Fender in two weeks? Oh my God, you're giving up fucking football for karaoke. Aren't you going to Sam Fender in two weeks?

Yes, but I'd much rather go to a Newcastle game than Sam Fender. You had no idea. Life with no music is so sad We're not ruined, I wouldn't listen to music Okay, there's even background music I can't believe you'd go see a band You'd go see the band, you'd go see You don't have to go see like a

A guitarist I do respect, you two don't watch that much football Anyway, so you can go without it That doesn't make me feel the way When I watch a band, it doesn't make me feel the way. When I watch a band it doesn't make me feel the way when you couple score. I just feel like you under appreciate how much music is actually just in your life. I do but I know which one gives me more euphoria in life. Music gives you more euphoria. It doesn't. Euros. You

can't even trip years goal in. That's one of the best feelings I've ever felt in my life. Can't even play brain food again. I don't need to. Yeah, do you know what? The thing about the individual moments, like once a week, like music is every day. Yeah, all the time. Every day, all the time. Yeah, but that question isn't fair though, because-

No, I know, it's not supposed to be. No, no, no, but I mean, so what you're saying is, surely that just means I can't choose to listen to music if it's just on where I am. That's not Molly's fault. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's no music. Music never is on. So what happens music if it's just on where I am. That's not Molly's fault. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I think you underestimated how big of a... Maybe it isn't that big of a problem, but I know how much... Music is bigger than football.

I love music, but I know how much like... This summer's going to be so empty because football's done. No, do you know what? I think you two are right. You could get away with the rest of your life with no football. You couldn't do that without music. I don't want to though. I know I could, but I don't want to. But music, you happily get rid of. I wouldn't happily get though. I know I could, but I don't want to. Oh, but music you happily get rid of. I wouldn't happily get rid of either, but you can give me one or the other.

You can find, you will be able to find similar to the same enjoyment in another sport. Yeah, just follow a different sport. You would be able to do that. Nah, because you love for footballs, like built up from support and a team from when you were a child. It's so nostalgic. Just become a massive McLaren fan. Are you stepping over the fucking... I think they're right. Just become a massive, like, McClary fan. Are you stepping over the fucking...

I think they're right. Just, just, like... Mate, you can even follow... Football is so interesting in your life. You can become part of, like, the Barmy army and just follow England cricket. Yeah. Well, you couldn't because there's no music.

Fucking crickets. There is music because there's no football. Yeah, he's... Ah, touche. Touche. Well, Lewis, unfortunately for you, you're actually... Yeah, you actually are in the minority now, mate. Yeah.

Every time they've been... Have you got any others? I like that one. I got one more. Wake up fresh for a night out or wake up completely hung over with total anxiety, but everyone's saying how go-to'd you were last night. We'll say that again? Say that again. So you wake up completely fresh, you've had a fucking class night, completely fresh,

start at 0% boom. Do you remember? Or, yeah, you remember everything. Definitely that. I'll take that. Or, you wake up totally hungover with complete anxiety, but everyone's going, mate, you were so fucking... No way.

Nah, I'll go the other one. They wouldn't have anxiety if people see a night. It's more just hangover, I feel like. Oh no, but I was part and parcel of it. I'll roll the other one because what's the point of being called a legend this night if you can't remember it. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, good point. I agree. Yeah, that's fair enough.

Should we? I've got a fact about the meeting. We don't want your facts anymore. You said you had a really good question. Awesome. It's called the loyalty dilemma. Go on then. All right, someone asked me this yesterday.

Someone asked me this yesterday, right? You want to preface this in the thing again or not? We'll see if it's even good. You said it's the best question ever, you said it's game. I didn't say it's the best question ever, but it had me really thinking, because it tests your loyalty as a human. Someone asked me this yesterday to your friend. So say your friend is going to die, say Theo's going to die, right?

Or whoever's going to die, your friend's going to die. I've noticed it's a friend. But you can save their life by having sex with one of two people. All right, you can either have sex with them to save their life or their partner. Now, who do you have sex with? Wait, who's the friend though in this situation? So like say it's Theo,

I have to either shag Theo or his last to save Theo's life. You have to shag Theo. I've got to have sex with Theo. Mate, you have to mate. Out of loyalty. But what are you saying in this equation though? Because surely the loyalty is to whatever you give the other.

No, because if I choose to have sex with his girlfriend, I should take the pill of having sex with him to then not ruin his relationship. I think you've horribly overestimated there being loyalty in this situation. If you were going to die. It's not loyalty. I don't think it matters who I'm shagging.

I'm saving your life. It does matter because I'm like, are you there plowing me misses next door? I'm like, you could have just shagged me there. No, cause my loyalty to you- This is your way again. My loyalty to you as a friend would be- I'm keeping you alive.

Yeah, I would be alive. No, that's you seizing an opportunity, you dirty dog. Sorry, sorry. This yet again- That's you seizing an opportunity. Yet again, another segment where Lewis tries to make us have sex with him. Why are you not fucking me boys? Wait, let's do it, let's do it.

Let's hypothetically say it, right. So, let's say it's me. I don't want to have sex with you to be honest. I'll shag Joe, just keep your life. She finally gets a good shagging. Why you stay alive? Okay, what about Lewis? No, don't mix it up with me. Just to change the point a bit,

if I did then have sex with you, it would ruin my friendship with you for the- No, because you'd be like, well, bro, you really did that for me. That's not how you'd come off the back of it. You'd be like, did I, off the back of it. Like, you can talk. You've got a debate, Nick.

How would you come off the back of him? Wait, Reeve, okay, what about Lewis? Well, who's bombing who? No, you have to bomb me. You have to bomb him. You have to bomb him. You have to bomb Lewis or Charlie. I don't care who it is. I don't care who it is.

I'm fucking the girl. I got it, I'm like, you'd have to shag me. I think you've overestimated the loyalty aspect. The loyalty aspect is fucking- Damn, you guys are loyal. What happens to your mates is like- I'd do the smile on my face, honestly. I'd love it.

I'd happily shag your Mrs. to keep you alive. No, but you shagged me, now you've ruined my relationship. I don't want to shag you. Keeping him alive's not even part of it. I don't want to shag your Mrs. What if the question was, you got to shag Lewis to keep him alive, but you shag his Mrs. to kill him? I'll shag his Mrs. twice, just to make sure.

Are there, are there, are there? Oh, this is the best part of my life. Twice. Just to make sure. Are they? Are they? Are they? Oh this is the best fuck of my life. I'm there when he makes the decision and he goes in the room with Charlie. I'm like, Tom? Tom? And Lewis just starts melting away like oh my god. This was only hypothetical. This isn't real. There's two doors. One's Charlie, one's Lewis. And there's just like 10 guards with a knife. No, no. And as soon as I walk in,

it's like coming towards me. But on Norway, there's two doors and you just lock on the Lewis one. You go, oh yes, I'm saved. See you later, mate. Have a good evening. Just to let you know, man, we're gonna go pound you, Mrs.

Just to let you know, this is the end. Yeah, no. Are there any of your friends that you would choose to friend over the girlfriend? Are you trying to make this? Well, ones that don't have Mrs. is, yeah, no. Are there any of your friends that you would choose the friend over the girlfriend? Are you trying to make this- Ones that don't have Mrs. is, yeah, probably. Which one? No, which one of your mates do you want to shag? Ones that don't have girlfriend and that one doesn't.

I'd probably choose- Hypothetically. Yeah, my mate Jay, probably. Sorry, don't say that, I know. You want to shag Jay? No, no, definitely not. That was a horrendous question. I thought it was No. No. Definitely not. That was a horrendous question. We don't need to correct. I thought it's a thinker.

I think like you have to shut the vlog. It's not a thinker. Out of interest, who asked you this question? Charlie. No. No. No. No.

If you were dying, would you let me have sex with your friends? Look, mate. Look, mate. Can I please fuck one of your mates? Yeah. All right, you're dying, you're dying. Charlie just doesn't sound like that. Oh, she doesn't, I'll fuck her, mate.

Hey. Oh, oh, Louis is trying to get there. Say sorry to Charlie. Also, boy, I've already got with her, so I might as well fuck her. Wait, Louis, who actually asked you that question? Why have you just said that? He was on stream. Oh yeah, by the way, he's a beast mode streamer now.

Beast mode streaming, let's go on. What did you stream? Beast and Concarly. I was doing footy manager. Wait, your chat told you beast mode streaming. What did you stream? Beast of Kankani. I was doing footy manager. Wait, your chat told you that question. How many views you got? I got over 100 yesterday. It was actually really good.

It was unreal. How many subscribers do you have? I have six. Nice. I got six subs yesterday. That's six people. It's better than none. I know.

I was saying, I was like, because my setup's so shit, it keeps breaking. So like, give me Amazon Prime, so they don't lose money. I get money. I buy a new camera. When you're next live, let me know. I'm going to come in and give you. And bully you. Do you shoot with a MacBook or a PC?

I have my Mac. It's not a MacBook, it's like my white edit on. So how'd you do it? Mac mini. Because I tried to do, I could set it up for you. A few years ago, I did this with a laptop. It's pretty easy. That's not it.

You want the proper- No, I was getting really good viewers. I was getting like three, 400 people. Yeah, that's really good. Twitch is a savage. But people were watching me just play football manager. People love that shit, man. It's easy to do.

It's fucking just Twitch is savage, isn't it? It's fucking hard to even gain anything over 10. When? 10 what? 10 what? 10 what? It's hard to gain anything over 10. Why'd you also, I hate how he makes out like he's just like

poor little like nobody. You're part of one of like the biggest football podcasts. Oh no, I'm gonna, that's why I went to like, but it's like not like it's, oh poor little me, like you're fucking Oliver You know we're actually the third biggest football podcast in the world behind Overlap no was it overlap? Overlap will be over In the world

This is based on what though? Cause I said Oh right fair enough We're the biggest one of like creators Name bigger In the UK name bigger said. Oh right. One of like, well, name it. All right. Yeah. Spanish ones that are big in the UK. Name bigger. I don't know. We're the biggest creator. Like one. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Loose it again. I doubt there's many that get more. We're not even on it. Peter Crouch.

Shooken. Peter Crouch gets more. I don't count. We're not even in the fucking freaking. Oh my God. This is a humiliating experience Fuck's ass blog Just been a humiliation. It's just a joke fucking bullshit. It's pretty good Um, I reckon that what do we get on them? That's not good. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's just accept We're sure we do. All right. I have a really good fuck, but we'll do it No, we're not doing a fat within your journal cuz we've only got a bit left I just say I have to do it. It's just journals really I think people really loved it and but we'll do it another we're not doing a fat We're doing your journal cuz we've only got a bit left I just say I have to do it

This journal is really I think people really loved it and you're so wholesome and great we before you do this loose should we have a look at some of the The responses from your journal last step was people having to go at me for laughing or not well I haven't actually I've genuinely not check They said they said more of Lewis journal please. Mad respect to Lewis for embarrassing himself for our entertainment. He does that weekly.

The journal is the best thing I have ever heard. For sure need more journals. Theo's got some stomp her wampers on today. I must admit, I thought you'd get a lot of- Journalist, this is an old timer. Old Pilkins and Diary job. There was one in there where it was like, it literally said, it listed off the headlines.

The headlines wasn't Pilkington. Rockbusters monkey news. No, Rockbusters was different. I think what they don't realize like- Monkey news, yeah. I could- Wait, it was deleted comments. It was being educated from them.

There was a comment about you being Cole Pilkington. It's deleted. It won't be deleted. You need to just filter it differently. It might be in the filter. It hides. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's it.

People are loving it. Oh, Lewis is relentlessly trying to be Cole Pilkington. Are you on TikTok? Yeah, YouTube. Oh, I thought you meant TikTok. Yeah, Lou, you're getting great journals. Wait, have we uploaded a clip of it on TikTok? Not yet, right?

I think we did a little teaser. This has just become the Ricky Gervais show. Yeah, we just- By the way, who's fucking complaining? Oh my God, it's a complete, hang on a second. Thank you, that's a compliment. Apparently, three headlines is Ricky Gervais show.

I don't remember the headlines. By the way, I did that on student radio. It's such a bit, it's like an unusual thing. Monkey news. We haven't technically done monkey news. And apparently, Karl bought in a journal. No, he's diary. He's diary.

Same thing. He's not though. Yeah, this is from the burns. Also, so what, do you know what? Oh wait, it's funny. You know what, I won't do it then. Fuck off. No, no, you have to do it.

Oh, Messi was a Maradona region, but how good was he and how fun was he? And fuck you. Unsubbed wasn't enough high rocks and golf chat. If you missed last week, I was really putting myself down in here. Oh, you're beating yourself up. Is this a positive one?

Are we carrying on from where you left off? Yeah, we're gonna go through. So it won't always be like the day after I do it. Sometimes I might skip a month, who knows. A bit of time will pass. So yeah, we have an option. We have like a very brief one from the direct day after that, but it was very brief.

And then I guess I can do a little segment of the one. Just do it in chronological order, mate. Yeah. So this is the day after of the last entry. It's late, so I'll be brief. Who are you talking to? This is what I don't understand. That is pretty crazy.

Who are you talking to? You've got these imaginary friends. It's late, so I'll be brief. You're talking to yourself. Yeah. It's weird. I't understand. That is pretty crazy. Like who are you talking to? He's imaginary friends. It's late so I'll be brief. You're talking to yourself. Yeah, it's weird. I do break the fourth wall. Maybe I was kind of ahead of my time. It is crazy that you didn't ever expect to read it again.

No, I never thought like one day when I'm rich and famous, people will find this. I think that's where I was. Definitely. I'm talking to myself when I'm like either shit. I put myself down as like, when I'm either shit or... It would be like me when I'd be in the garden when I was like seven, I'd be like, Garret

scores the winner for England, he's only 18. What a superstar. Yeah, but you didn't go, wow, I'm playing football so I'll be great. Oh yeah, true. I think I remember like writing like, I don't know when it'll come up. Celebrating by sucking a dick. What? I'll be brief.

Anyways, it's late so I'll come over. Celebrating by sucking a dick. What? I'll be brief. Anyways, it's late, so I'll be brief. I forced myself to get up at 7am today. Not 5am. I made food and some and some of my food. It's so funny because he's writing this as if like he's in a rush. You're not in a rush, you're just in your bedroom. I made food and somehow found myself editing the video. What video?

Oh, wait, what video? I don't know. Oh, there's stuff to go alongside this. I color graded, added audio, and posted it. Good. The feedback has been great. Maybe I was just going through a phase yesterday. Oh, no, because that means that you've taken validation

for what other people think. Oh, so you can't write to other people. That's sad. That's actually really sad. I feel like, by the way, I think it's very much clear that I need validation. Yeah, you do. What video is this? Are you like, is it, it's like a secret Minecraft channel you run? No, this would have been music video or something. You're a music director. Well, you're an arse man, aren't you, watch? Or for yourself.

Yeah, I feel like I never showed you my music videos. Yeah, you were singing? For yourself? Yeah, I used to make... I feel like I never showed you my music videos. Yeah, you showed us your radio hosting, but not your music videos. No, I used to... Yeah, I used to... You've got music videos. We would know that to be a fact if we'd have been... Were you starring in them? No, I'd...

So I worked... In a ballet? They're still going, actually. But I basically, I did some editing and like directing, then I'd work with Jay who also edited and shot them. And no, it's cause when I moved with BFBS, I just couldn't, I wasn't pulling me away anymore. Oh, when you went to Afghanistan. Maybe I was just going through a phase yesterday.

I went to the gym and played some games. Got to work from nine. Yeah, went to the gym. No, I went to the gym and played some games. I didn't go to the gym to play games. Oh my God. Got to work from 9.45 to 9. Tomorrow, I'm getting up at 7 to go to the gym

and get ready for the day. Oh, this is dope. Hang on a sec, you went to work from 9.45 till 9.00 p.m.? This is just a diary though. This isn't even a journal. That's almost a 12-hour shit. This bit's a bit, like, this bit's not really too impressive. I was hoping to hear 14.

Wait, did you say 9.45 to a nine? Yeah. That's almost a 12 hour shift. Yeah, yeah, that's what, yeah. Yeah, people do that, yeah. A 12 hour shift is, look, Tom, a 12 hour shift is not normal. I'm not saying it's normal, but people do it. At the time, I know I've done it.

I had like, I did a 9 PM to 9 AM shift at McDonald's actually, so I don't use their thought downs to me. So why are you so shocked he's doing a 12am shift? Because the 12am shift is quite shocking. It was multiple jobs. So I had like three, I worked at the- You're trying to be like, oh, look at me, I worked a normal job

more recently than you. And then, fuck off. I had like, I worked at the golf club and Sainsbury's and the community club as well. So it would have been like- With the bus prostate guy. Not normal. It is for Adam.

A lot of people do 12 hour shifts normally. Just, you just had a touch mate. Carry on. I spoke more with the parents today, visit Nana and granddad. I need to go see gran. It's time to be an adult. So it's pretty shit one that.

Is that like a death? Is that it? But no, so this is what I mean. Is there no self-face? I've got a part of one where there's a bit more of a... Where's the self-face? This is a bit more... There's a bit more of a...

There's no psychoanalysis in this one. You just said what you did. I think this one will be better. So that's why that's just a people's inner loop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tuesday the 22nd. How many days are we due? Of what month?

Tuesday the 22nd of September. What year? 2020. Oh, we're closing in on lockdown. This is Covid then, are we due? Of what month? Tuesday 22nd of September. What year? 2020. Oh, we're closing in on lockdown. This is COVID then, ain't it? No, it's mid-COVID. No, it's not COVID. March 2020 was COVID.

Yeah, March 2020 was COVID. This must be the wrong calendar because it wasn't COVID when this was on. It had to be. March 2020 was lockdown. So you're a liar then. So six months on from that is September. This was like the weird stage in between summer lockdown. It's in, it's no, no.

The 22nd, 9th, 19, I've dated it here. So a year prior. Oh, before. Okay. Well, you're not far from it then. You're only like six months away. How on earth is that possible? None of this makes sense. How is that not possible?

The writing goes from right to left. No, no, no, no. I for one, how is that possible when the book itself is 2020? You get diaries beforehand. Can't you? It would have been a 1920 diary. You have them before so you can buy them in advance, don't you?

Yeah. Otherwise, if you're buying it on the 1st of January, you're already late. I don't think I'm thick enough to date it wrong. Yeah, good point. Well. You need to get them for Christmas. So I didn't write anything yesterday.

I had two shifts and got paid. Ended up spending all my money on a night out, immature of me. And nothing's changed. Bro does not want fun at the age of 20. And nothing's changed. I'm going to leave money in the works more with me. Yeah, full circle again.

There was a moment just as the taxi came, I was going to change my mind, but then I went anyways. It also means I've done nothing today because I was hungover. I'm currently sat listening to a Joe Rogan motivational video. I think I'm a fan of this. Jamie, pull that up. Look at the fucking size of this chimp. David Goggins in there somewhere. I can hear this bit and I can see myself in the reflection.

And I can see myself in the reflection. You are Joe Rogan. Yeah, no, no, no, wait. Can you imagine? Let's set the movie scene, right? He sees himself in Joe Rogan. The camera zooms in on the laptop, it's Joe Rogan. You can do this. And then the focus changes.

Yeah, and it's him looking miserable at himself in the reflection. Honk orbe, probably to my boxers. He's just looking like this in the camera, I feel like. Got no money, because he spent it all last night. Luke, what is it? He's staring at that reflection going, I wish I passed on the taxi. Oh, so much work.

Luke, you're actually like, you're like directing your own life film. I did carry on. Yeah, I literally. When you've made it in Hollywood, they will make a film out of this. Yeah, yeah. No, it's too depressing.

They won't believe it. Well, it's depressing films out there. It's like a fight club without the fucking cool. Yeah, they'll be like, no one's this sad. This past Lewis, honestly, this guy thought he was gonna win Oscars for like movies. I swear to God. this guy was crazy. He is very dramatic.

Go on, carry on. I can see my reflection on my computer. I know in 10, 20, 30 or however many years... Try your fucking novel. Fucking about when he's 50. I'll be looking in... Oh God, I'm cringing already. No, you can't.

I'll be looking into those exact same eyes. You are weird, mate. You are weird mate. Oh God. You're like 24. When I was like six, I'd be like, I'm going to play for England and West Brom and win the champions league. No, I'm fucking 23.

You sad, I wasn't 23. He's actually created such an easy to see situation of the camera is just focused on him looking at his reflection and then the reflection gets older, but his eyes stay the same. It really is. He just looks at himself 50 years. I know autism, like how visual.

It is very odd. I think it's beautiful. You've got a dream, mate. Maybe one day he will interview you. Well, maybe in 20, 30 or however many years. From now on. If this video gets 3000 likes,

we will create your movie. Yeah, you could be Joe Rogan actually. Recreate the scene. You could pretend to be Joe Rogan, like cosplay and we can do an interview. We could do it like a theater piece. Why is that funny? Oh, we could do it like a theater piece

where there's a reflective glass in the middle and you're on this side pretending to be Joe Rogan and Lewis is looking at the other side going, pull that fucking gorilla up. Sorry. Anymore? Yeah. So I know in 10, 20, 30, however many years I will be looking into those exact same eyes. Also so like seedy. Why are you saying it like that? I'll be looking into his eyes. Why are you reading it like that? Yeah.

Is this erotic? I always like contemplated my own existence. Even when I was like 10, I told you, no, even when I was eight, I used to sit there, I told you, and I used to think, I was like, one day I'm gonna be dead and I'd never ever ever, I'm just dead forever and ever and ever. You're brainy. I keep saying it until I scare myself. And then I'd never ever ever and I'm just dead forever and ever and ever. Your brain is flying.

I keep saying it until I scare myself and then I get like adrenaline and like butterflies and then I'm just never and I'm just. Happy 12th then. Anyway, carry on. How have you got through life like. He's sat in the corner eating his spaghetti hoops going and I'll be dead forever and ever and ever and he's muggling. It was in the fact.

Right Lewis Pet, you enjoying your spaghetti hoops? Lewis, you're going to go and play British Bulldog? No, because I'm going to be dead forever. ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and black crosses with his crayon. So that's why I always wanted to like work hard because it's like you only have a limited amount of time. So yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it was I look into the exact same eyes and it would either be wiser when you're eight than you are now. Yeah, you are going to die forever and ever. This is the bit that freaks myself out.

I might even be reading these exact same words. I've always thought like this, there was a thought of me as a kid on a piece of paper saying hello me when I'm older. Among the several times I wrote my school book. Yeah, you were right the way you said that. There's another page here, but I don't know if we just stop the joke.

We'll save that one next to you. Can I ask you a good entry? That was brilliant. That was brilliant. Luke, can I ask you a question? And you have to be really open and honest. Are you mentally ill? Have you got private videos of you talking

to yourself in the future? No. I've never thought to do that, no. You know how I missed the beat? I'd say if we had that, we'd have that. His form of doing that is writing though, isn't it? Your form of doing that is in writing. Yeah.

Rather than it being video. Luke, say yourself in five years time. What do you have for yourself to say? your form of doing that is in writing rather than it being video. Say yourself in five years time. What do you have for yourself to say? Hello Future Lewis. I hope the rest of the journal isn't as depressing as what I've already brought. No, no, you have to speak to actual Future Lewis.

No, I'm saying hello Future Lewis. You've got to speak to Future Lewis in 20 years time with the same eyes. Yeah. Just look down. We'll all send a message to our future self in five years time. We'll play this back in five years. Go ahead.

Hello. Hello future Lewis. It is I, Lewis from the past. I'd be down if I was you, if you're talking to yourself. I'm hopefully you and Tom are happily married. And if you're not, message him now and say, Tom, I just watched that backside episode.

You know when you're younger- I'm gonna pass on doing that for the rest of the video. No, you know when you're younger, you know your goat in your beard. What relevancy has this got? I don't know, just, you know when you're young and you look at someone who's older, that's just like the classic. I really thought he was going to say, you know, your beard and your goat, it's fucking shit innit. When you think of someone who It's a bit weird, I don't know why you say that.

When you think of someone who's just a bit older. Yeah, they do just get the shit double. Or like Al's Toy Barn. I would like to say if you want Normal Journal, because that one fell a bit flat. Robbie Nook from Shrek, Robbie Nook's got that from Shrek. We can happily stop.

No, Captain Nook, sorry, not Robbie Nook. If you don't subscribe, there's no more journals. When he plays the piano... Reeve, what do you want to say to future Reeve? Captain Hook is in... Why am I next? I haven't even thought about this. No, no, we're gonna end it now.

Right, everyone like and subscribe. If you don't subscribe, we're not doing more journals. It's a fuck-off. Do it! You made it to the end. Well done, you. If you haven't already, hit that follow button. Why not?

Tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to catch more Backside, you can find us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram by typing in Backside.