Back Side - Theo is Kidnapped in North Korea, Our Top 5 Guilty Pleasures & Calfreezy Crashes Our Set

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Theo talks about entering the North Korea marathon, the lads confess their filthiest guilty pleasures and Calfreezy invades the studio with BIG news!If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden100:01 - Theo’s HUGE Announcement04:30 - Why Do We Hate on Theo10:00 - The World is about to end16:00 - Theo’s going to North Korea16:40 - Calfreezy crashes the set17:15 - North Korea killed American prisoner22:00 - Ranking Our Top 5 Guilty Pleasures34:00 - Tom smells his own farts…38:00 - ParadoxOllie52:00 - Lewis gets emotional58:00 - Theo’s perfect last day on Earth01:00:00 - The Monkey who found the Titanic01:09:00 - Theo’s Fact01:14:40 - Gaz Gobbles Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. Let's talk about our top five guilty pleasures. Relentlessly watching British rom-coms. It's not a guilty pleasure.

Do you know the story about a wombler? He was made a prisoner of North Korea. He just looks like there's nothing going on behind his eyes. Theo, do you have any thoughts in your head you want to express? I just think it's a bit harsh that you keep getting shut down. Every week we do this and we spend 20 minutes arguing. What are we doing? Is it a podcast or is it just a silent podcast?

What are we doing here? Do you want to sit here and not talk about things? You should let him express himself. I do feel like I'm shut down. Lewis gives an answer and it reads behind, get shut down. So it just makes me wonder,

like, why do I try and why do I even come into... Sorry, I can't. How they found the Titanic. So I want you to meet Jack Grimm. Loads invested, scientists on board, ready to go. Mr. Grimm, thank you.

You know, you've made our dreams come true. Like, we're so excited to go find the Titanic. That's not the only surprise I got for you. We got like a new crew, man. Oh, God, Lewis. There's like a beam of light coming through and he like walks into the light and he looks up and it's a...

Guys, I got an announcement. That's a piece of... You got an announcement. Go on, man. He finally did it. After that Valentine's Day episode. Well done, man. He's done it. Yeah.

I'm no longer, you already know this, but I'm no longer running the Paris Marathon. That's not a good announcement. That's a bad announcement. Because I'm running the Boston Marathon. Oh. Are you not worried about the hair?

Yeah. about the hair I don't understand this hate thing well you for people who don't fingers crossed it happens again for people who don't do marathons

good job because it's boring but like essentially Boston Marathon you have to qualify don't you and Biel just like

got in without a qualifying time so he's going to get loads of hate. No, no, you're actually inciting that now. B.O.'s going to get bullied and hated on. Basically, there's basically four main ways of entering the marathon. There's, as Lewis said, the

qualifying time. Right, bro. And the qualifying time for someone in my age category is 2 hours 55 minutes. Is that what it is? And you have to actually run 6 minutes faster than the qualifying time. So it's technically two hours, 49. And have you done that time? Four minutes. It's quicker.

Half marathon time. Oh, 4.17 is a three-hour marathon. You have to run it in like four minutes, five seconds per kilometer. Yeah. So for the camera, can you please confirm if you've met that time? Well, I'm about to say the other three ways of getting in. I'm just confused. I'm just confused. I'm just confused.

I'm just confused. Being a world famous influencer. The second way of getting in is a charity spot similar to London Marathon. You know how it's like a ballot system. Oh, so you've been given a charity spot. It's a lot harder to get a charity spot in the Boston Marathon than London.

And it's very hard to get a London spot anyway. They would have believed you though. Third spot, you have to get a bib as a professional. But you have to be a professional runner so that's what you are and a fourth spot is a sponsored spot

through one of the leading sponsors who are Adidas yeah you're gonna get you're gonna get hate all the people

does that mean you're just gonna come last why are you such negative why would I get hate I've been working so freaking hard no you haven't because you didn't qualify

yeah you've been working hard you didn't qualify. Yeah, you've been working hard. You didn't qualify. Oh, what? The charity runner's qualified today. Oh, it's the Paris Marathon. Not good enough for you anymore. Do you know what's sad?

What's the qualifying time? What's the qualifying time for it? 2.59. 2.55. So imagine there's someone out there who has 2.56, worked all their life to try and get the Boston Marathon, just missed out by a minute, and now Theo Baker's never taken that spot.

Do you know what's funny? That's actually completely irrelevant. I'm not taking anyone's spot. It's like when someone said... You've said that wrong there. It should have been 254. No, because they would have qualified. Yeah, but 256,

they wouldn't have qualified anyway. Yeah, they wouldn't have done it. I know, but they just missed out by a wimper. So it's irrelevant. That's what I'm saying. I know, but they were much closer than him. That is half marathon time.

No, I know that part, but the anecdote doesn't work. You're the kind of football fan that goes, when like you guys, you two, you two get free tickets to the Champions League final.

When have I ever had free tickets anywhere? When have you taken it away from a real fan? Actually, I've free tickets once. You're not taking it. You're talking about yourself. I've free tickets once and it's from him.

He's talking about Champions League final. I mean, you took it. It's like saying, you took away a ticket to a match-going fan in the Newcastle game. I did, I did. No, you didn't. Because they never would have been available because you're in a box. I did. No, I took away a ticket to a match going fan. Yeah, he did. I did. No, you didn't.

Because they never would have been available because you're in a box. I did. No, I took away a seat. Oh, so yeah, right. I'll see where you go with this. I thought you were supposed to be happy for me, but clearly you're not my friends.

I've never claimed to be your friend. I'd be happy for you if you know you didn't rob someone who just worked their life but he's in a German spot you using that 256 analogy doesn't work because they wouldn't have got but they were closer than him

clearly it doesn't no they were then he went home in tears but if you're not first you're last and then they see on Instagram

Theo Big has just done the box mouth and he's like what the frick it is crazy this is a crazy world I'm just trying to warn you.

I'm trying to say don't hate on Theo. Yeah. Please don't incite hate. He deserves his spot. He's worked really hard.

He's worked really hard for this. I have. He's done a half marathon in two hours ten. You're just being dickheads.

I thought you'd be happy for me, man. I am happy. Clearly you're not. I'm just pulling your chain, you know. You're not pulling no chain, man. Jesus Christ. I'm pulling his chain. What is the point of this podcast if we're just going to sit here and go, I'm be happy for me man I am happy Clearly you're not I'm just pulling your chain you know You're not pulling my chain

Jesus Christ I'm pulling his chain What is the point of this podcast If we're just going to sit here And go I'm so happy for you Well yeah That's what you should do Say it now

No Say it In fact Shout out the Paris Marathon Are they not good enough for you Do you know what He says all this When's he ever been

When have you ever been nice No I don't think he has ever When have you ever said When have you actually ever Been ticking into Oh no that's lovely Lewis Good job I'm happy for you When have you ever said that I can't I don't think he has ever. When have you ever said, when have you actually ever been ticking into it and said, oh, no, that's lovely, Lewis. Good job. I'm happy for you.

When have you ever said that? I can't remember how he said that to you, actually. It seems like he's always on about his own achievements. Yeah, yeah, he is, yeah. He did kidnap you for eight hours. Have you said well done to Tom

on his new vlog performance? Yeah, I did. When? I did. In the group chat. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I also said,

also said your thumbnails are brilliant. You also didn't. Yeah, I did. You didn't. You were hating last night. I wasn't hating. I just said, actually, you were hating on everyone. Yeah, he was, brilliant. You also didn't. Yeah, I did. You were hating last night. I was not hating. I just said,

actually, you were hating on everyone. Yeah, he was, yeah. You said, we're not good enough because he keeps uploading. You're hating on me. He knows that's not true. We were just pushing you to do it.

I'm so glad you have because your vlogs are banging. But also, we should connect you to Tom because now he's uploaded enough to see a ranking system. Yeah. So there you go, man.

Now you have a comparison. Is it true before? This was happening before though, don't you remember? Yeah, I there you go. Now you have a comparison. Is it true before? This was happening before though, don't you remember? Yeah, I think YouTube forgets if they were a while ago and you have to start again. I had like 20 videos

up at one point and it still wasn't within the same time frame. Yeah, that's what we think. But your first ranking was a two out of ten. That's right. It's gone up to one now.

Oh! See how we bring people up on this show. So now what? You see, now he's only trying to be nice. He wants to be nice. Now what will happen? It's not going to happen!

I don't think you'll understand. I'm so grateful to get this spot right. It's the oldest annual marathon in the world. It's so prestigious. Honestly. It can't be the oldest. Does that mean the oldest annual marathon? This isn't taking a dig.

Older than London. Is it going to come last? The oldest annual marathon. So it's the oldest marathon that's been held every single year Older than London Come be slow I don't know We have Matt here

we can actually fact check this Oldest annual marathon it's different to the oldest marathon But the London marathon is annually Yeah

All marathons are annual Boston marathon there you go 1897 it started Nice No so genuinely When did London start then So it won't come last

Are you going to come in like the last 10 because if everyone's like so professional and stuff oh no because there'll be other people who've been sponsored

yeah yeah how many though there can't be that many sponsored spots they'll be trying to be like the puma influencers why are they trying to be like not everyone can

compete in our marathon that's a scarekeeper 1981 was London because of the amount of people who would run yeah yeah yeah I mean it's the oldest one isn't it

so you have to kind of vet the process it was 100 years before London that's kind, yeah. I mean, it's the oldest one, isn't it? So you have to kind of vet the process. It was a hundred years before London. That's kind of mad. Fucking hell, really? Yeah. It's peace mode.

That is actually mad. It was only in 81, London. What the fuck were we doing all that time? It's the most prestigious one, so they have to... Which? Obviously Boston.

No, I don't agree. I don't agree. Fair enough. Well, I'm super grateful and I can't wait to do it and I've got a time I'm going for as well. What's the time?

3.30. Jesus Christ. you're walking it I love the banter at the 4.40 pace oh is it? or it's 4.30 oh wow I love the running chat

we do on this I feel like the fans love it as well the viewers love it when we talk about running there's so many runners you said two minutes before we do on this. I feel like I'm surrounded by runners these days. I love it when we talk about running. There's so many runners. You said two minutes before we started the thing when I said I've just finished a run,

you went, I miss running. My knees ruined it for me. I think I just miss moving. Right. Luke, before you did your knee, you ran twice a week saying I love it. Was I? Yeah.

If I ran twice a week, I would have qualified for Boston Mountain. It's that easy. I actually wouldn't have qualified. It's fucking all this like it's easy why do I bring up serious shit

you know what I wish I saved that for Waffling actually don't worry Waffling will get it first because it'll go up before this episode oh god forbid

so you'll fucking put two episodes to sleep anyway there's a meteor going to kill us all there is a meteor going to kill us all. There is a meteor going to kill us all.

Did you watch the film last night? I've seen this at the end of the week. I haven't seen any of these. Not last night, that's last week. You said that we were

supposed to be dead already from an alien invasion. Well, they managed to cut, no, I said not, we wouldn't die from it. I said there'll be war in the skies. And there wasn't.

No, there wasn't. I predicted it. You have zero proof of that happening. There's pictures worldwide news, you knobhead. There wasn't a war. No, there wasn't. I predicted it. You have zero proof of that happening. There's pictures worldwide. News, you're not there. There wasn't a war. No, there wasn't a worldwide news of a war in the sky.

I must have missed that. Trump got an office. I managed to calm it down. We did miss the monkeys eating the wires. Yeah. Every time he gets something wrong, he just goes, well, we don't actually know. We do know there wasn't a war.

Yeah, there wasn't a war. There was a war in the sky. There was a couple of drones in the sky, man. You're an idiot. They weren't drawn to aliens. Okay, maybe there was, know there wasn't a war yeah there wasn't a war there was a war there was a couple drones in the sky man you idiot they weren't drawn to aliens okay maybe there was but there wasn't a war

in the sky like you predicted it was actually showing off either way I was pretty coarse like I know no you weren't

no you weren't do you know what would have looked closer to the aliens it's your Newcastle light show mate imagine you don't know what's going on

you look up it's fucking Joe Linton in the sky you predicted to the day something that didn't happen that doesn't count as a prediction I predicted when that would happen you know there was a coincidence

I was pretty close it also wasn't the day you were out by like 12 days the amount of people messaging me saying holy shit Lewis you're actually right no she doesn't watch this shit I was close but anyways you did watch this film

last week it's a good film yeah Meteor's gonna come for us very frustrating film to watch what's this story this is the end of

the world or something no what's it called don't look up don't look up wait you've only just seen don't look up this is the end of

the world wait you've only just seen don't look up no I watched it again the other week and then just so happened that this news broke that we're

gonna die in like seven years when have I I haven't seen this news mate this news broke that we're going to die in like seven years. When have I seen this news? Mate, this kind of bollocks happens all the time. Like 2012, we were supposed to die. Rapture was supposed to happen.

No, this is scientific. This is scientific. Those are based off like, those are based off like the calendars running out. Like this is like a genuine meteor. It's quite rare

that we can track it this far out. Yeah, but we can also send things up to block it. No, what I'm saying, before we just get all shutting it down, let's just hear this. We haven't even looked at the headline.

You're just like, no, we want, we want. What's an MEO meant to strike a few years back? We just blew it up. We just get rid of them, don't we? Don't we shoot things at them? Yeah, we do. Do you know how that happens?

We've never done that. That literally happens. Tom, hypothetically, we could try that. We've never had to. No, we haven't. I don't think that's right. I think you're wrong.

Matt, can you search if we've ever shot a meteor out of the sky, please? I think you're wrong here. I think we have knocked some off course before. I don't think that's right. I think you're wrong. Can you search if we've ever shot a meteor out of the sky, please? I think you're wrong here. I think we have knocked some off course before. I swear to God, we haven't. Like, there's been times where we've tracked them. But anyways. Yeah, we shoot up...

No. By the way, if you haven't seen this, scientists... Do you know that... Also, just before we say this, scientists estimate that 48 tonnes of meteoric material hits Earth every day. Oh, there we go. Yes, NASA's double asteroid redirection test successfully redirected an asteroid's path in 2022.

That's good. Say sorry. Sorry. Oh, good boy. So this meteor is actually like much bigger and it's like 10 kilometers long. Don't forget, he knows all about space. It's like 10 kilometres long. We could just run away from it

in 44 minutes. How much damage would that do? So that would, it wouldn't like, it's not a world killer, but it would be like, What's the diameter of a meteor required to be a world killer?

It's not that big, you know. You'd be surprised, but like 10 kilometres. Like 30k? Yeah, something like that. That's pretty big. What this would do, they basically have a band,

there's like a band on the earth where they know this will land. It's like, it could land off the coast of Ireland and it would cause tsunamis and everything. That would get us a little bit probably. Yeah, we'd be done. But it means like,

it's not even, it's like the dinosaurs, wasn't there like a ridiculous, not a heat wave, like we call a heat wave, a heat wave, like catastrophic heat wave across the earth. Also, there's a scene here from a map breaking news it could actually hit um the moon we'd have two moons

no if we hit that'd be way worse yeah that's oh apparently for us why because all the tides would be fucked and then yeah we'd drown to death yeah if it hit the moon it'll be worse for us and hit an earth yeah we're having a mature conversation. You're about to see something about it. I'm reading what it says. The impact zones look like it could be India. Delhi. New Delhi to become Old Delhi.

I don't get it. Is that a joke? Well, that's what it says. New Delhi. Is Old Delhi a real place? It's called New... New Delhi is the capital of India.

Yeah, I know, but is there Old Delhi as well? No. Why would it be Old Delhi? Because it's been destroyed. It's not Old York. Old York. know, but is there Old Delhi as well? No. Why would it be Old Delhi? Because it's been destroyed. It's not Old York. Old York.

It's also like there isn't Old Jersey. No, but if it hit the moon, that would be fucked. But then we'd, then loads of Egyptians would fall to Earth. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Or maybe they have some weapons to stop it. I just think that's quite interesting. They'd redirect it to Earth and we'd redirect it and then he'd just be like, wow, it's like a tennis match.

On the meteor thing like genuinely so apparently like a world killing like strike like the dinosaurs that happens like however I can't remember the time frame it's like every million two million years or whatever

but we're like overdue a planet killing meteor like overdue it by like 5000 years like if you look throughout history of them like coming through but 5000 years in the grand scheme of 2 million is probably not that bad I know but it's

I feel like we're too far advanced to be able to prevent it from happening now as well. We are due a giant killer. Also, how the fuck do we know that? Yeah, but we have the resources now to be able to prevent it from happening. We do, but this is... The dinosaurs didn't really offer much in terms of defence. How do we know that a huge meteor hits Earth every 2 million years?

It's like saying a pig is right every 100 days. Are you trying to make that stick? I think so. Oh, look at that. It's called the City Killer Asteroid 2024 YR4 is to hit in 2032.

Two days before Christmas? Oh, not Christmas, Bruna. That's annoying, isn't it? Well, let's hope it doesn't hit London. Let's hope it's after Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah.

Big night out. Do you know what the thing is? I do feel like this would end up like Don't Look Up, wouldn't it? Like, it would just be all like fucking, oh, what can we do? That film is so great because no one would believe it.

I don't think that's true. It would not. I think it would become very political. The film is a dig at the media. I don't think anyone would believe it. I wouldn't care. I'd be like, it's not going to hit it. We'll fix it.

We just say the scientists will fix it. No, but that's what I mean. But we wouldn't actively stop them from fixing it like that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that was a bit weird. That was more like a political conundrum. I feel like it'd be

worldwide. It's like, well, why should we spend money fixing it? Well, why should we? Why not? And then it'll be like... No, no, no.

The UN would come together, wouldn't they? I think when it comes to an actual global crisis, most people would align their views. Yeah, I don't think that... But we don't do that for wars.

What do you mean? We don't do that for wars what do you mean we don't do that for war they do though actually they do because no one no one no one nukes anyone because if they do

the whole world's going to fucking Kim Jong Il would like say hi boys Kim Jong Un was it Kim Jong Il the second Kim Jong Il Kim Jong Il he's dead

what about Kim Jong Un Kim Jong Un he's the current dictator of North Korea yeah he I reckon he'd be like you know what boys I'm sorry let's come Korea. Yeah, I reckon he'd be like, you know what, boys?

I'm sorry. Let's come together and save the world. Nah, he'd just let us do it. He'd send it for firework. No, like I said, I think in something like that, it would be the UN who would sort it and they're obviously not part of the UN. What do you do?

That's the interview. Oh, the interview. That's such a good film. You'd have, yeah, the UN would just sort it. NASA basically would sort it. They just redirected it. Did you see Kim Jong-il?

He's not alive. Kim Jong-un. Did you see he banned South Korean football from being aired now? What do you mean? Yeah, so Son just doesn't exist anymore.

We're still meant to go to his ski resort. Oh yeah, in North Korea. No, only recently. Not across the planet. I watched Son on the weekend. No, recently. He just banned it.

In his country? Yeah, yeah. Obviously not worldwide he also told them they won the 2010 World Cup so I don't know so look I had a video idea

but I don't know how like right it is to do right so there is a North Korea 10k half marathon marathon yeah and you go into North Korea

yeah but that what was your idea we got a ski resort ski resort in North Korea yeah you was your idea? We go to a ski resort. A ski resort. In North Korea? Yeah. We talked about it on Buckside. Yeah, yeah.

We spoke about it in the old set. Did we? Yeah. Korea has snow. Yeah. North Korea. Mate, yeah. It's really hot over there.

No. Cold. What do you think about going to North Korea for a marathon? What the frick? You've been begging me. Would you go North Korea for a marathon? On frick you've been you've been begging you've been begging would you go North Korea for a marathon

on the 10k run wait do they have a marathon yeah yeah you finish in a stadium you can't do it for a video though

finish in a stadium of course you can people go to North Korea all the time I want to film fucking YouTube no you get you get guided

by a tourist obviously to make sure you're not exposing not a tourist but there are fake like fans yeah there are fake fans. Yeah, there are fake fans there and whatnot. This runner, during the run, lost his guide

and he started filming. I've seen it on YouTube. I dare you. That seems legit. Do you know the story of Wambler? Of who? Wambler? The American that went over there, stole a poster.

He was made a prisoner of North Korea. No. Then they held him for like a prisoner of north korea then they they held him for like a quite a number of years they said yeah he's in good health they used him as a political pawn for the u.s eventually the u.s struck a deal they're like cool um sent him back on the plane he comes off this picture type in otto you see the picture of him coming off the plane. Otto Wombler. A-O-T-T-O-W. And it should pop up. No, why did you just put I-U?

I love when my types get so panicky. Dyslexic. It's just W. There's no I. He's panicking. He's panicking. He's panicking. He's done scrotum.

W-A-M. Otto Wombler. Yeah. Otto Watto. Nope. I'm going to lose my job. Yeah, there you go. There you go, Wombler. Yeah, Otto, Otto. Nope. I'm going to lose my job. Yeah, there you go. There you go, Wombler.

Yeah, there you go. Right. Bottom left, bottom left. Yeah, so that's... Just for stealing a poster. Right, so he nicked a poster, right? And he comes back, he comes off the plane

and he's like, you can see, he just looks like there's nothing going on behind his eyes. He walks off, two days later he dies in the US.

What? So they essentially reckon and they're like, there's no exact, there's an amazing article that New York Times did on the whole thing, but they reckon he was subjected

like some of the worst torture. Jesus. His brain just like gave up on itself by the time he got back. What the hell? Well, that's him there. So how can he be dead?

How long was he there for? Was that not him there to the right? No. But yeah, it was a few days after he arrived in the US can he be dead? How long was he there for? Was that not in there to the right? No. But yeah, it was a few days after he arrived in the US, he died. But how long was he kept for, sorry?

Like, we're talking years. I'm going to be good with that. And it was all because he nicked a poster, and I think the poster was from the hotel that he was staying in. Yeah. It's an insane story. Well, you should try that and see what happens.

Shit, yeah, maybe I what happens shit yeah 17 months and so yeah this is the only reason why because if your country is not mates with North Korea they want to

nick CEO Baker and use you as a little pawn I'll be honest with you nobody's coming to get you do you think he gets more hate for running the North Korea

half marathon or the Boston marathon I don't know why you're trying to put this as your hate for the Boston Brody told me that he why you're trying to put this as your hate for the Boston. Proddy told me that he's going to get hit.

No, fuck that, bro. The weird guys. Strange hate. Strange behaviour. Strange behaviour. Right, in a bit. Thank you. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later.

See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. See you later. Looking good lads What were you saying? Something about That's fucking I'm going to I'm going to get fucking mental like I've just come What?

What? I didn't mean to say that So maybe I won't do the North Creme Arifin Yeah Imagine they take you I think they let you go I think you'll be fine

I'll go live on Instagram What are they going to do? Take them back If I go live on Instagram I'll be a coward They'd give you back immediately Hey guys What you wearing? A violin? All you've got to do is start filming If I go live on Instagram, I'll be a coward. They'd give you back immediately.

Hey guys, what do you want to mile in? All you've got to do is start filming us. What are you going to do? The shit is food, haven't I? Oh my God, this is... What supplements do you take each day? We need to know. You're looking a bit... Taylor Swift and white noise on the audio over and over and over again.

This is great. This is the best trip ever. Oh, I'm taking back. Look at his plate. Damn, the jealousy is wild right now. What, of being a prisoner of war? What, jealousy? I thought you were jealous of me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it, right. Loving all food, loving great music. I don't think that's a good idea. I think you should go. It's a tourist thing. You wouldn't be able to film it. You can. It's on YouTube. I think you should go. It's a tourist thing. You wouldn't be able to film it. You can.

It's on YouTube. I've watched a video on it. What? And it's verified as that's actually North Korea? Yeah. I think you should go.

I think it'd be hilarious. As I was saying, if they try to arrest me, I'll just go live on Instagram. Just run away from it. They don't have internet, mate. I'll get an eSIM and VPN. A North Korean VPN this video is

sponsored by he's gone to a country that's shut up I'll just go on Instagram fuck it I'll do a Revolut brand deal

out there this is how I paid for my North Korean sandwich but how would you you do realize he controls everything the internet

everything yeah I know right I'll fucking overthrow him yeah North Korea he might no I won't do that he

might think revolution is short for revolution in which case you would be banged up yeah that would be good would i be able to like play spotify no uh i don't know you don't have internet well no if it's like my phone i think spotify spotify does work but the only artist they have is Katy Perry why? firework yeah that's fucking that's rude Katy Perry

talking about Katy Perry in the film being found guilty in North Korea what about our guilty pleasures because I did a good like

I did a good segway yeah go on then talking about being found guilty in North Korea let's talk about our top five guilty pleasures going North Korea

is the guilty pleasure. You're correct. I actually think I've cooked. Hey, video idea. Should we do one eat? I tried to smuggle myself into North Korea. Wow, that's a good idea. I think four through five is tall.

Do you want to go first? I can. This is going to be nothing short of very embarrassing, but I did the segment honestly. So start off with something very plain and boring. It's obviously pizza and cookie dough. How's that a guilty pleasure?

That's not a guilty! Wait, together? Or do you feel guilty when you eat it? Pizza and cookie dough is a guilty pleasure. But together? Like on each other?

No, no, as in like just That is not a guilty pleasure, mate. Why do you feel guilty over that? Okay, well, that was actually My guilty pleasure is having sex with beautiful women. Oh, right. No, but it's unhealthy.

I'll take off my other one then. No, that was actually a pretty shit one to start with. That's not a guilty pleasure. A guilty pleasure is something you're embarrassed about.

Number two, relentlessly watching British rom-coms. Oh, like what? Like Notting Hill. I've never seen that, you know. What?

You've never seen Notting Hill? Good film, good film. Fucking great film. I watched Bridget Jones all that. Yeah, I watched Bridget Jones Mad About a Boy. I've never seen that, you know. What? You've never seen Notting Hill? Good film, good film. Fucking great film. I've watched Bridget Jones all that. Yeah, I've watched Bridget Jones Mad About a Boy. I've never watched it. They don't appeal to me.

I've never watched Bridget Jones. What? What do you say like that? Bridget Jones? Yeah, you've got to say it in a Welsh accent. Bridget Jones? She's English. She's not Welsh?

Bridget Jones is a Welsh surname. This doesn't make a difference. Carry on. Carry on. Ignore me. A really nice bubble bath with Epsom salts. That's not guilty. That is a guilty place.

Theo exposes himself. For the general public, I feel like it applies, but I knew that you'd go, that's fine. I have it all the time. I love it. I think bathing in general is weird. Bathing? Yes, Theo.

We've established we have different accents and we say words differently. Wearing my fluffy crocs to pretty much every place. Oh, I don't mind them. Fluffy crocs? What do you mean fluffy? The inside is fluffy. I've never seen them fluffy.

And then my final one is playing Pokemon. Currently, I'm playing Brilliant Diamond. On what? On what? Switch. Oh, I don't think that's bad. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I thought't think that's bad. Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, that is bad. I thought that was quite nerdy. I'm 30 years old. You're 30 years old playing Pokemon, mate. I just said that. I don't think that's bad. If Pokemon Go,

then yeah, that would be fucking... Oh, no, no, I don't play that. He's playing Pokemon at 30. That's embarrassing by having a barf. A few years ago, on a plane journey the other day, I downloaded an app on my phone

where you could... It was like a Game Boy on your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I played Pokemon Red and that. Pokemon's pretty beast mode, though. Oh, come on. Yeah and I played Pokemon Red and that Pokemon's pretty beast mode though oh come on yeah I think Pokemon Go

is a bit weird Pokemon Go is fucking for me Pokemon Go's got to a point where people are like the only people that still play are like competitive players

like nobody plays as in like you go around and battle people in person on your phone and shit when I played it I caught a Snorlax and he sucked me off

and then a Jigglypuff come on okay okay let's do his next I caught a Snorlax and he sucked me off. And then a Jigglypuff come along. I get you. Okay. Let's do his next. Mine aren't that boring. Mine are really boring. I'm excited for yours.

I bet you think they're not guilty. No, they actually are really boring. I think I got the wrong end of the stick on this one. We just answered them honestly, didn't we?

Going to the gym. A cold orange Fanta after a run. What's the point of this that hits different man hits a crack it's not a guilty pleasure that's not yeah

a guilty pleasure is something that you enjoy doing that most people would find embarrassing or cringe or a white kinder bueno that's the point

of doing these what's the point can I can I interject here are all five food and drink? My mid-morning cappuccino, I go to bed excited

about my coffee the next day. I don't believe you. I hear what he says, mid-morning. Oh, man. Just in morning. Do you know, I saw a TikTok about this,

do you not go to bed so excited for your morning coffee and then your mid-morning coffee? No. Do you know what? I think that's quite nice because I think you must live a nice life

like you've got a sad life if you're looking forward to a coffee no because he must go to bed quite nice and relaxed and he's like looking forward to his coffee

no not relaxed take the ages to go to sleep but I'm excited for my coffee because he's having coffee the whole time these aren't guilty pleasures though okay chocolate orange mini eggs it's four out of five

of food oh my fucking god four out of five of edible things I'm sorry guys this is ridiculous there's got to be something that you

do in your life that's like you know watching well I was going to say watching I've got loads you've just named

things you like you've just got a list of five things you like rolling the sole of my foot over a tennis ball

why is he laughing that's some exercise that one's weird that one's just there like no sport Why is he... That's so exercise. No, that one's weird. The other one, he's just there like... No, no, no.

No sport. A lot of sports players do that, don't they? It feels great. Does it? It feels great. You should get a tennis ball and try it, mate.

What's guilty about it? Where's the guiltiness in it? It feels not you doing it. I don't know. Why do you feel guilty doing that? I don't know. Right.

I just love it. And then the last one. No, you've already had five. You've said five. And all you're naming is just food you like. Oh. So what's the point?

Don't have the last one? Oh, a nice cold beer. Go on then. I forgot it. I had it but I forgot. I didn't write this one down. You were looking at your phone. What are we talking about?

What are we talking about? There's no way you're not doing that on purpose I had it but then you fucking started talking about the golf ball why were you looking

at your phone if you didn't write it down you also said a tennis ball not a golf ball right I'll go spant a coffee a chocolate bar guilty pleasures

tennis ball under his foot. Oh yeah, that's what it is. I can't read books unless it's about like a... This is embarrassing. This is actually embarrassing. Go on then, this is it. I can't read books unless it's about like a sporting journey or something someone's done.

It's not a guilty pleasure. That's not a guilty pleasure though. It doesn't make any sense. It's just what you like. It's just your taste. That's just a weird thing you have. It's not... A weird thing you have is literally the definition of just a weird that's just your interest thing you have it's not a weird thing you have

it's literally the definition of no it's not I don't think it's weird I think it's just what you're interested in a better one would have been like listening to only Taylor Swift in the car

I don't do that you do do that I've been in these journeys when we do these shoots it's only Taylor Swift I can't fucking stand her that's right five

winding up Theo it's not really guilty but it's quite nice four you don't feel guilty about it so it's the same as the kinder brother then four

do you know when you're walking through have you done them in order yeah do you know when you're walking through like a park or something in London

and like people are like handing you their pamphlets do you know when you lie to them and say oh I'm just going to work I just don't care about I don't understand why that's say oh I'm just going to work I just don't care about I don't understand why that's it because I'm not going to work

what's the pleasure Tom it's a power trip it's a power trip oh right okay no you can't that's alright my excuse is usually I just say

I donated a couple days ago mate like we're not accepting money mate no well I've I've paid I've contributed to the charity before I feel like that absolves me from having to pay again

I haven't and I won't I can't pay 10 quid every time I walk past my own fucking head I feel like that absolves me from having to pay again I can't pay 10 quid every time I walk past my own fucking head I feel like you're going to like what about stopping your run at like 4km 99 that's not a guilty pleasure and they're triggering people

okay that might be yeah that's more of a guilty pleasure people get so their OCD gets focused can other people do their list or would you give me about your food you like well it wasn't

nothing to do with food there so he was going to get the food why don't you I want to stop at a food. Why don't you... I want to stop at a 599. Why don't you take some anger management lessons,

huh? How about that? I will. Go ahead, darling. Well, I've got a guilty pleasure that would apply for you. God forbid. Don't you interrupt here.

Go on, have a go. Have a go. Have a go. Putting your chips in your McDonald's milkshake. Who does that? You do. That's weird.

I don't. It's fucking so weird. You advocate that, don't you? You tell people to do it. Anyways. No, eat crisps after chocolate this is a good one

watching someone miss the tube and like they get clashing to the doors that's a great one that's a good one it's even better when they make it

on the train because like they just fucking bash them out and they're still half stuck and they drag the bag out and then they have to

just like act normal and sometimes they've got like a black mark on them and they've been missing the covers

that is good that's a really good one next one finding any excuse to undress you or just dress

you up in general yeah that actually I just find it so funny the ironic thing is you were the

one who's actually the only one here who's actually got fully naked that is true but this is what I get off on.

Well, you made me take my top off for the last backside thumbnail which I didn't even make. I said to I didn't even make the thumbnail. I was like,

I wonder if Reeves is going to notice I made him take the top off for Norris. The thumbnail was you versus Joe in the end. Yeah. I just put a picture

of Joe on it. Really? Yeah. You were in it. I was in the photo shoot, but they didn't use that picture. He was in it at the start. Yeah, he was.

I think we had a version of you, but it didn't last. It didn't last. Oh, yeah. When Theo was going mad about it, it means shit. Okay. And then final one,

laughing at children falling over. So you just like to watch the world fall over? No, I'm sorry. How often do you see kids fall over? All the time, mate. When they fucking proper stack it when you say

your guilty pleasures are just seeing other people in pain though no I fell over in my time imagine people laughed at me as a child essentially

your guilty pleasures are all schadenfreude you like schadenfreude yeah schadenfreude as in like you watch you enjoy watching

people in pain what us taking our kit off seeing us squirm yeah people missing the chew they deserve it Yeah, schadenfreude. As in like you enjoy watching people in pain. What? Us taking our kit off, seeing a squirm. Yeah. People missing the tube. They deserve it. They deserve pain.

There's another tube in a fucking minute, man. Are you breathing to me? Are you secretly like a dominatrix? Do you like to be dominated? Do you like to be whipped and shit? No, I feel like it's just... Took a weird turn.

It seems like you just seem quite miserable. These are guilty pleasures. I've used just listed things that you like. These are guilty pleasures. I've used just listed things that you like. These are guilty pleasures. I laugh when kids fall over. It's funny.

You might be a psychopath. What about if they fall onto your lap? Do you have feelings? Yeah, feelings of laughter when I see them stack it on their scooter. No, because the falls

are never dangerous. They like fall and they're there. And then they're like, Lewis, I can't lie, you enjoying seeing people in

I used to see I don't walk through the well we used to go to Careful. Yeah, I don't be aware of that one, mate.

I'm banned from walking through the parks. You see it often. You know, you enjoying seeing people in pain and stuff is not helping

your nickname. Yeah, it's true. I don't think I think you gaslighted me. I think a lot of people... You said you enjoy seeing babies hurt themselves.

That's not what I said though, is it? No, it's great though because whenever I've worked with Charlie, we can just go to the play park and they all think she's my kid.

I don't know. Because that's the only place that you'd see children. Right. Then what do you do with her? You tell me you don't laugh when kids fall off scooters and they're...

No. I can't remember the last time I saw a kid fall out. Fucking whore bat. I'm probably not. No, I'd probably be like you tell me you don't laugh when kids fall off scooters and they're no I can't remember the last time I saw a kid fall over I'm probably not no I'll probably be like you might have some issues I scream that's beef

I'd laugh because my friend fell over or if I fell over I'd probably go and say oh you alright kid you go talk to them I thought of a really good one but weird

I'll wait for your list because if I say it and it's on yours then I'll feel bad people spilling pints in pubs. Oh no, I don't like that. Why? It's all sticky.

Because it's a waste of a pint. Yeah, but it's not my pint. No, but it could have been my pint. Or people smashing glasses. But no, no, no. That's fucking... I would never laugh at that because that could have been me.

That could have been me. How can you? You spill them all the time on me on these fucking vlogs. You know, like three in one day. Or like an accident. I don't find it funny though. You drop glasses on a train,

everyone goes, hey! Yeah, but not a pint. Yeah, coffee and that, but not a pint. What about a clean dap?

Ugh. Anyway, my list is, my first one is musicals. So like, Jersey, Jersey Boys. Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore. Yeah, Jersey Shore. Although, yeah. Geordie Shore. The fact that you like musicals and not like rom-com. Jersey Shore. Yeah. Although, yeah. Geordie Shore. The fact that you like musicals and not like rom-coms

interests me. Yeah. I hate musicals. Sherry. Did you like Greatest Showman? I've never seen it. You should watch it. Oh,

that is right. It's the best one you'll ever watch. But I'm also a creature of habit. I don't like trying new things. And my second one is N-dubs, but I don't know how guilty that is. That's not guilty there. I'm not really guilty.

So my second one could... Oh, shit. I just thought I wanted to replace that with, but now I've just forgot it. So I'll try and think of that again. My third one is biting my nails until they're genuinely sore and it hurts to pick things up

because I then stop biting the skin around it. Well, stop doing that, probably. Oh, do you ever do... To be fair, this could be one. Do you ever do this? Like you put your nails under each other? No, that makes me feel weird. I thought you ever do to be fair this could be do you ever do this like you put your nails under each other no no

that makes me feel weird I thought you were going to say pop it in and you like press in it hurts just my teeth you're kind of too short no no but it's quite nice

I have to do it like every 10 minutes my fourth one that's more like a bad habit though isn't it well that's a guilty pleasure there you go I bought mine as well

it feels great my fourth one is self-cupcaking yeah we've been over that. That's so... That is like actually like fucking rancid. Yeah, like fighting

your own cup. He farts. He dutch ovens himself, doesn't he? So good. Yeah, sorry, not self-cupcaking, self-dutch oven.

That is actually like, I feel like when we did that on the pod, like it got zero reaction from like the comments. Because people do that. I know people who do that. I know.

Do you smell your balls? No, no, but the next one is scratching my arse and sniffing my fingers. no, but the next one, he's scratching my ass and sniffing my fingers. Yeah, fair enough. And I'm talking like my arsehole. Not inside of boxes. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait, what? The sweaty bit. Stop lying. You don't go inside boxes, you go outside of boxes. No, you smell your own gooch. No, you go outside of boxes.

Oh, man, it's a smell. How many times do you want me to answer? No, I don't. I cannot be. I think 95% of males do that. No, it's easy. I think that's the only smell. No, you're outside of boxing. You're not making inside. How many times do you want me to answer? No, I don't. I cannot be. I think 95% of males do that. Do you know what's easy? I think that's the only smell. No, just generally.

I feel like it's the only smell that you're the only person on the planet that you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the one from your own gooch. Yeah, definitely. No one else in the world likes that but you. Correct.

Why? You're going a bit low. I'm in the arsehole, mate. I'm scratching around in the arsehole. Because we've already established he doesn't wipe his arse. I've never covered in poo and... What would it be covering in poo?

You don't wipe your arse. Oh, yes, I do. You said that on the show. You don't wipe your arse. You went to go under the shower. You went to go under the shower. You do a very loose bum on. Okay.

I'll never forget it. What was that? Remember when we were in Dublin? No, I don't. I just bent over and spread my cheeks. I've seen your arsehole. You can see were in Dublin no I don't I just bent over and spread my cheeks and you can see inside his bow

yeah because I spread my arse cheeks but you know your bum hole opened fully that's what they do when you bend over and stretch your arse do you think you could

point out your arse hole out of like five arse holes probably not no why would you be able to know which one's your arse hole no I don't think

how much are you thinking of the leg just the hole oh just the hole just the hole I don't think how much are you thinking of the leg just the hole oh just the hole just the hole I don't think I've ever I think I've maybe when I was younger

bent down looked through my legs in a mirror to see my asshole I think maybe I've done that once I wouldn't now know how he's matured

and developed it might be going good what do you mean when you were younger you didn't like bend over put your head through your legs

and look in the mirror and look at your asshole I did maybe that's another guilty pleasure that's fucking bitch what's another guilty pleasure so Tom fingers his arse and smells his fart

oh I thought of a good one there that smells his arse I think it was music related sometimes there are like music TV that kind of vibe isn't it I watch Desperate Housewives all the way through

alongside me oh TV would be like I'm a bit of a whore for like old school reality shows like TOWIE Made in Chelsea Jordan Short

what about the American stuff Jersey Short X on the Beach was beast mode Jersey Short Jersey Short is the best trash reality TV show ever and I was I still am obsessed with it

kind of like the Kardashians yeah I don't mind that either that would have been a really good one yeah that's a good guilty pleasure you could have put that

on the thing I have just now that's a real guilty pleasure can we go just now. That's a real guilty pleasure. Can we go back? You actually use this word in a sentence. Schadenfreude. Yeah. How is that part of your vocabulary?

Everyone knows what it means. No, they don't. I've never heard of it. What do you mean? We just used the term schadenfreude into a sentence, which means the emotion is schadenfreude. It means second pleasure in other people's pain.

Never heard of it. Why? You have a weird vocabulary. Do you know what poltergeist means? A poltergeist? Yeah. Scary ghost. Same fucking thing.

It's just a loan word from German. No, but poltergeist is far more mainstream than shawdown fraud. Shawdown fraud is a very... They're in films and shit. Shawdown fraud is never in my life.

Alright. Sorry, I've got a better camera than you. We know you're an SS officer. It's not better. It's just... It's because he's 30. Maybe he's considerably older than all. Alright. Sorry I got a better vocabulary than you. We know you're an SS officer. It's not better. It's just... It's because he's 30. Maybe he's considerably older than all of us.

Yeah. Yeah. I think the fact that you don't know what Sheldon Freud means reflects more on you than it does on me. You're in the minority.

None of us knew what I mean. He's half a decade older than you. Remember that. That could just mean we're stupid. I've never...

I'm telling you that is a very common word. I'll tell you it's not. I personally never I'm telling you that is a very common word I'll tell you it's not I personally never heard that myself 4 out of 5 people in this room have never heard of it

and I am fine with that because I know that is a very common word and that just reflects on the people in this room it's not a common word though if none of us have heard it

yeah it's fact you got beat no as in if you make the sample size bigger let's do it let's do it Matt have you ever

heard that no I haven't oh shut up you dickhead you ain't heard fuck all sack him now can I just ask is a paradox

something that's unsolvable correct no we're solving it wow it's only the third week we've done this it's not it's actually it's actually the fourth

four weeks in Theo's just figured figured out what paradox is can I weeks in we can't actually get the right answer paradoxes no you can't get the right answer that's what way to do you have every week apparently so you're right we did get it last week all the comments said so that's about three weeks ago i don't know when it was all right Anyway, this is called the boy or girl paradox. Wait, sorry. Wait, wait. Which one?

Which one do people say we got right? Why is that? It's not out yet. They're all tied. I don't know. Oh, so you lied. I guessed. Okay.

Imagine a family has two children, one of whom we know is a boy. I pose the question to you. What then is the probability that the other child is a boy? I'd say from my past history, about 90%. Wait, hang on a second. You've just told us that one's a boy, one's a girl. No.

Oh my God, that's unbelievable. He said one sentence and you've got it wrong. I said, a family has two children, one of whom we know is a boy. What then is the probability that the other child is a boy?

Or 50%. No. No. It completely depends. No. 90%? Boy. 90%? That's not a real answer. No, I can tell you right now.

50% is a boy or 50% is a girl? I can tell you right now. So, my family... Well, yeah, that's the common answer. We'll get to that. My family,

the oldest brother was born, right? Then they're like, oh, we'll try for another one. Another boy. Yeah, that one. Then they try for another one. Obviously, they wanted a girl because you have two boys. No one wants three boys. And then they got me. Well, that tried for another one. Obviously, they wanted a girl because you have two boys.

No one wants three boys. And then they got me. Well, that's why they stopped. Anyway. I'm looking at it as a 90%, 50%. My mum had four boys. I think it completely depends on the mum. Okay.

Well, the obvious answer is to say 50% because it's either a boy or a girl. But in the case of two child families, there's either an older sister a younger sister older brother younger brother older sister younger brother older brother younger sister but because one's already a boy we know that it can't be older sister younger sister therefore it has to be one in three no it can't be a younger sister no but it can't be an older sister as well. Yeah, no, but you said it can't be an older sister

or a younger sister. That's what I'm saying. It can't be a younger sister. It can't be two sisters. It can't be two sisters because we know one's a boy. Oh, right. Sorry. But what about, I've got a younger brother and it's a two-child family.

I don't understand the... Basically, the probability should imply that it's not one in two. Mathematically, that should be the case. It's actually one and three. But is that just... Why though? That makes sense.

No, that does make sense. But also mathematically, that doesn't either make sense because you're either a boy or a girl. So that's the paradox. Are they basing these stats off like historical, just like families?

No. Well, no, no. Any family with two children, it's either older older brother younger sister older sister younger sister older brother younger brother older brother younger sister so you have four combinations yeah you see what i'm saying what not really it's not difficult to understand there's four possible combinations of a two child family and one of the combinations is gone because the first one was a boy God doesn't care

about that though what the hell are you doing now no no no so the paradox is the answer should be oh it's 50% it's a boy or a girl

because it's even going to be a boy or a girl but he's saying because there's four possible outcomes and one's gone technically now there's three possible

outcomes left so it's a one in three chance as I think about it that's the point of the paradox it left, so it's a one in three chance. That's the point of the paradox. It's one in two, but also one in three. That one in three thing, though, is completely hypothetically made up. No, it's not. A child's birth, no.

It's not only that instance. If there's two children in a family, there are four combinations of those two children being the genders that they are. But the previous child, in terms of like when the pregnancy happens, they're not thinking or it's just simply down to the odds

of that one insertion. We're talking specific maths. We're not on about... We're talking about mathematical. I do see what you're saying. I just think it's irrelevant.

All right, thanks. You know what I mean? Yeah, but the entire point of the paradox is the question should be, oh, it's one and two because you're other boy or girl. It is one and two.

Whereas the outcome of it being a two-child family, it's actually one in three. But then we could say three-child family and then you go so far down the line. Why are you getting angry at the question? How about this? That's why the paradox is both. By the paradox, okay.

It's a paradox because it's both and neither. Imagine I had nine kids and they were all boys, okay? And we go about the paradox and we get to the point where there's a 99% chance that a husband is a boy. That is no longer a paradox. You're just doing maths at that point. What don't you understand about a paradox?

The paradox of this situation is it's both one in two and one in three. Yeah, do you think that... So basically both things exist, but both things also don't exist? No, there isn't the right answer. It's a paradox.

Lewis, the point is if it's one in two, it can't be one in three. And if it's one in three, it can't be one in two. But it's both at the same time. I sugar, it's either 50-50 boy or girl.

That's the original question. That's the original answer people give. But if you work out, boy, brother, sister, sister you work out brother, sister, sister, sister, brother, sister, sister, brother, it's one in three. It's not relevant. You just said it was relevant as well.

Actually, what you're doing is you know how there's two answers, there's also two questions. So you're actually combining two questions into one question whereas what you should be asking is what is the combination of brother and sister there's probability of that

then it's one in three or then you could ask no but the original question you see what I'm saying the original question because that is the same question no but that's the question the original question is

you know one is a boy what's the probability of the other is a boy do you know what you just asked the same question do you know what this is quite like do you know deal or no deal right so you have 20 boxes

it's not the same no no this is not that's just actual probability please stop talking no come on I was about to make a good? Do you know deal or no deal, right? So you have 20 boxes. It's not the same. That's just actual probability. Please stop talking. No, come on, I was about to make a good point. So you have deal or no deal. You have 20 boxes, right? And you choose one box at the start and you get all the way to the end, hypothetically.

And there's your box from the start and the one that's left over. Do you stick with your box or do you go to the new box? What the fuck has that got to do with it? You should go to the new one. Yeah. Probability. Because of the probability. You should go to the new one. Yeah. Probability.

Because of the probability. Because you have narrowed down out of 19 out of 20 this box where this one was a 1 in 20 chance. The one you originally picked was technically 1 in 20.

Yeah. Whereas the new one is like... 1 in 2. Yeah. So that symbolises this paradox quite nicely. It doesn't.

It doesn't. It's not. It is 1 in 2 and 1 is looking at the bigger picture you've just described a situation where mathematical probability is relevant a paradox it doesn't apply the answer is both why are you trying to figure this out like there's a real instance that very is very very the same no no but that's describing probability this that's what

this is no no no because you're either a boy or a girl. You're not either the two. You're on about the probability. When you bring into the fact that the other kids and all that, that is

probability. You are bringing probability into it. The answer is gender is either one or the other or sex is either one or the other.

So you're male or female. So that's 50-50. That's why I said sex. That's why I said sex. Whereas if you actually did the math,

the probability would be one in three. So the answer is both. But which do you choose? But Lewis, I think what they're saying... That's the point of the question. Jesus! Every week we do this and we spend 20 minutes

arguing about whether it can be solved. It can't be solved. I think what they're telling you, Lou, is that actually you shouldn't ever argue the paradox and we should just move straight on like you said the paradox. But he's not arguing that... I think I brought the deal and no deal

was a good symbolic grade. That's just normal probability, though. But it's like you're having a go at his paradox. He's bringing on something that is both true and false. I think I've got it correct, though. We've got to try and talk about it and not just go, well, it's fucking bullshit.

There isn't an answer. There isn't an answer. That's the point. 50-50. Which is the original. It's what I think is the answer. You said no. Well, that's fine.

It's because ultimately, you can put all this fancy caviar on it, but it's chicken. Caviar? I've got chicken here. It's like having a chicken, right? It's like we cooked a nice chicken. Chicken and caviar.

It's nice we cooked some nice chicken but you used to put loads of seasoning and herbs on. You're like, well, what is it? I'm like, at its core, it's fucking chicken. No, you're overcomplicating it. We're all saying it's a doulan roux.

Caviar isn't chicken. You're completely overcomplicating. I'm stripping it down to the basics. No, no, no. You're overcomplicating quite a simple thing which basically, there's two different questions,

but they're actually the same question that have different answers, but also can be the same answer depending on how you look at the question. That's all it is. What do you think, Matt? Matt thinks it's 50-50. The whole point of it is it's confusing.

It doesn't make sense because both answers can be true and be false. Exactly. You've got to be extremely specific with how you ask that question to get an answer. Do you know what I mean? There is no answer.

There is no answer. The question is how you view it. You can say what is the probability of having a boy or girl is 50-50 but what is the probability

of having a brother-sister combination one in three? Do you see what I'm saying? Imagine that family If you're trying to be super specific That's the whole point of the question.

You know what? I fucking won't take that. I didn't ask that question. I said imagine a family has two children. I'm trying to explain the specific. That's the whole point of the question. You know what? I fucking won't take that. I didn't ask that question. I said, imagine a family has two children. I'm trying to explain the situation. We know the situation. One of whom we know is a boy. What's the probability the other is a boy?

Yeah. They're not different. No, I'm saying if you wanted to try and find an answer of two different answers, one in two, one in three, you could ask it in a way that you could get those outcomes. That's how we'd ask. That wouldn't be a paradox. You're just in a way that you could get those outcomes. That's how we've asked. But that wouldn't be a paradox.

You're just asking a different question. Yeah, I know. We're trying to come up with ways of solving the paradox. You can't solve it. We have to solve it. That's what we're here for.

That's what we're here to do. We're here to solve the paradox. We're here to sit here and just like agree with everything. We're here to do it. We're trying to make strides in science

and use it to hold us back. All you do is just sit there and say like, you can't solve it. Move on. Do you know what? If we were scientists, these would be such shit scientists.

We're trying to think outside the mold, and maybe we don't get the right answer all the time, but that 1% of the time, we're gonna get the right answer. You went from this podcast, I'm gonna not try and solve it. You would've accomplished fucking nothing if you were scientists.

The discussion you bring to the table is, right, well, we can't solve it that way because it's unsolvable. No, you're wrong. No, you're wrong. You're not allowed to, no. No fresh ideas, no laboratory. You have to sit there and say, the it's unsolvable. No, you're wrong. You're wrong. You're not allowed to... No, no fresh ideas around the laboratory. You have to sit there

and say the paradox is unsolvable and we move on to the next topic. What should we do next? No, so me personally, I'd go with the one in three. You're wrong.

You're wrong. That's fine. No, you're wrong. Why Tom? You're saying you're not allowed because... Why one in three? Because that's how

I'd look at it. It's wrong because you're both. Because also, I'd look into the fact of my actual answer would be what you're doing is what lewis is doing it's not i'm not bringing a fucking deal or no deal i'm just giving you that's a good point oh you've chosen an answer same as lewis and you're explaining your answer same as lewis i'm not there you are but you are the outcome you both wanted to the question was right well well that's let's ask a more relevant question that's not how the question you're trying to change the question yeah i'm saying the question in essence comes down to a baby's a baby's sex is determined by

that one instance it doesn't if we're in this scenario it's not contained i understand the point you're making but it just does come down to that you could say but my genuine answer would be the probability of a baby's gender is completely

down to genetics the family which isn't the question though I've solved it I've solved it I've got to look at it

from a maths point of view and me personally I'd side with the one in three I've solved it I've solved it I've got to look at it from a maths point of view and me personally I'd side with the one in three I've solved it I've solved it okay

so the reason and he's siding in the one in two the reason this is so confusing I wish I said he's four you'll be in a titty about it

because you're this probability aspect that's talking about the probability of what the if you were to look strictly as a boy or girl

as these as a group, whereas the other one's focused on the individual. So it's like, they're two different questions and that's why they have two different answers. So it's not paradox. We're just arguing the answer. No, no, no, it is a paradox. It's probably...

What we're doing... No, no, now you've stripped it back again because it's the original question of, you know one's a boy, what's the other one? No, yous are answering one plus one. We're answering two plus two. And we're arguing as if it's the same question that we're asking. We're answering two plus two and we're arguing as if it's the same question that we're asking.

We're answering two plus two. They're answering one plus one and we're saying it's four. They're saying it's two. No, you're focusing on a baby's been born. What sex is it? Male or female?

That's fair. I'm looking at it as one's already a boy so I'm taking away from the one in four chance of being a... Yeah, you're looking at it as a group.

Yeah. Maybe there's a deeper meaning to that maybe we should all look at ourselves before we judge others maybe that means you're too close minded

no I'd be a career scientist and lawyer I bet you can't even spell lawyer L A W Y E R that's my G don't fall for that

ever again go on why are you staring at me angrily? I was on your team. Come on. What was I? I was just saying it's space.

Oh. Splod me, lad. Good boy. You enjoyed that one. Everyone enjoyed that one? I did enjoy that one. I think we solved two in a row now. Well, me and Theo have.

Yeah. You two are stuck in your fuck... Yous would be the shittest scientists ever, by the way. I'm the one... Yous are incapable of thinking outside the box. I'm so one of the unsolved. Do you know what? You try and change the question.

We're so lucky we have Isaac Newton because you just want to say to him, no, not possible mate. No, no, no. The Earth's flat. Isaac Newton's like,

no, I'm thinking outside the box, lads. That's a scientific fact, mate. Yeah, he discovered the telescope. What? You know I have to process how these work before I bring them to you. Didn't you do gravity? Yeah, you did the telescope. What? You know I have to process how these work

before I bring them to you. Didn't he do gravity? Yeah, he did everything. Isaac Newton. By the way, Isaac Newton accomplished all this before he was 23. 26. He's also a virgin.

Yeah, he's a fucking virgin. And he was born. One thing he couldn't accomplish was how to enter a pussy. And when was he born? Neither could you. When was he born? What day you. When was he born? What day?

Christmas Day. Yeah, correct. 18th of bloody May, 1990. That was paradoxically. Well, that was shit. Did everyone enjoy that one? I enjoyed it. I solved it.

It's a good question to ask people. That is a good question, actually. I did enjoy that one. Do you have any thoughts in your head you want to express before we move on? No, I don't want to talk. I'll just get shot down. Come on, talk to me about your grievances my grievances i just think it's a bit harsh that you keep getting shut down oh let him talk no let him talk actually right okay we're

bringing out the talking fish okay okay no i don't need the fish no you need the fish i think lewis has some really great ideas and you shut him down too quickly because you don't want him to express ideas about the paradox. The whole point of a paradox is to open up new ideas about it. But yet you both just sit there and say, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. He's got the talking fish. Sorry. And like, what are we doing?

Is it a podcast or is it just a silent podcast? What are we doing here? Do you want to sit here and not talk about things? Do you want him to ask the question? Do you want Ollie to ask the question and Lewis to sit there and say nothing and say yeah actually it's a paradox you can't answer it and move on

yeah what do you want us to do yeah I want him to do that this guy has a seriously strange brain you should let him express himself oh sorry

I'll do it you haven't got the talk and fucking fish me you haven't got the talk and fucking fish me I'll start with an apology because sometimes we do need to

listen to your ideas obviously like the reason this podcast started is because of you I will say though you try and define the answer as being possible in which case

it isn't possible but do you know give him the top of his is that not what you want that's what you want on a podcast I've actually just sit there in fucking silence

no no you can discuss it yeah I've got the top of the podcast yeah yeah we can that's what you want? That's what you want on a podcast. I've actually just sit there in fucking silence. No, no, you can discuss it. I've got the talk. Yeah, yeah. That's what you want. We can chat about it. I really don't. I'm touching it. We were all discussing it.

We were all discussing it. No, because you gave an answer. I enjoy your train of thought when we talk. You're defeating the podcast. No, hear me out here. Lewis gives an answer and it reads behind, gets shut down. Tom then also gives an answer saying the opposite.

Like he went one and two, you went one and three and you get angry at Lewis for saying then also gives an answer saying the opposite. Like, he went one and two, you went one and three. And you get angry at Lewis for saying, like, you're doing exactly the same. The question is unanswerable. So you giving an answer and being all on your high horse

like, and Lewis getting shut down is exactly the same. The irony is crazy. Can I please have a seat? There you go, sir. Thank you, Theo. Hi. Hi, Lewis. I'm not Theo. Hi. Hi, Lewis.

I haven't looked at him for a minute. Sorry. Sorry. My name's Lewis Borden. Thank you. Elveth.

Thank you, Theo, for the... Thank you, Theo. Elveth? Of Earth. You are not of Earth, mate. Shh.

Sorry. Thank you, Theo, for his kind words. He really spoke those from the heart. I do feel like I'm shut down too often

generally he has actually just shut down he actually just did is that how is that how your programming works you say shut down

I'm trying to speak I've got the talking fish I'm getting shut down even when I've got the fish he's crying you know I do just feel like I come in here with like a positive attitude

and I really try and like try and bring something. I find it kind of disrespectful that you're actually laughing at him right now. Go on, Lee. Say what you've got to say. Poor guy's breaking down right now.

Lee, if you want the answer to be 1 and 2 we can say that it's 1 and 2 he's just laughing at me he's actually crying straight up me glasses son I just feel like oh god put them back on there is a tear

it's just like my inability to like get out of thought in this podcast and it just makes me wonder like why do I try and why do I even come into sorry I can't do this okay I think you're all bitches and you need to grow up, should we do Gaz Gobbles

are we playing again we haven't done it it's fact versus fact isn't it no no but are we playing again we haven't done it it's fact versus fact isn't it no it's no no but are we playing for consolations we know we're starting

a new game oh nice series two series two of Gaz Gobbles shit I've just won the overdraft will be how

I don't know during the podcast Gaz Gobbles this series will be topic based each week oh lovely first topic

to give you a chance of winning because you're getting fucking back. Yeah. Also, sport. Like realistically guys,

looking back last week, we should have really had a think about how an ancient language just appeared in their brain. But the brain works in mysterious ways.

Yeah, but there was no, like you can't assimilate a language. I know, but Egyptians, aliens, speaking languages, it sort of comes into.

Oh, not again. Am I going to get picked up for using another long word? I've heard of assimilate, but Egyptians, aliens, speaking languages, it sort of comes into... Oh, not again. Am I going to get picked up for using another long word? I've heard of assimilate, but I've never used it in a sentence. He uses some weird words. He said that on the pitch side

the other day where he was trying to describe a game. Because you do so much sport. Attribute. Because you're so fit and do so much sport, I forget how much of a geek you are.

I am a geek. I just admitted to everyone that I play Pokemon. But you're a fit geek, so you're like a secret geek. I got bullied at school for it. You've matched your watch jumper with your shoes, man.

That's geek life. That's kind of beast mode. I didn't pick that. I didn't pick that. Mate, I have your shoes and your jumper. It's all beast mode. Yeah, you get it.

Why are you wearing that full of trousers? Unreleased 165 coming soon. Okay, I had to say that because now they'll give me a free jumper. Fuck, I haven't got I said they have to

appear to get it on but well do you want to do fact versus fact while we wait yeah do fact versus fact I've only got I've got to get

three beast mode fact no can I go first are you actually going to continue with that fact

no the slogan that I really hate yeah well something's beast mode what else am I supposed to say well when are we doing the last day on earth because

I've written mine out we're skipping that oh yeah we kind of like skip past that which I'll tell you anyway Yeah, well, something's beast mode. What else am I supposed to say? Well, when are we doing the last day on earth? Because I've written mine out. We're skipping that. Oh, yeah. We kind of like skipped past that. Should I tell you anyway? Yeah.

If you put, yeah, yeah, you put. I went, so this is my last day on earth if the meter was coming, right? I went actually. Whoa. Yeah, that was,

that was at the very start. Is that a segment we were supposed to do? Yeah. Oh, shit. I actually went serious. Okay. Maybe he can add this to his guilty pleasures. I went serious. I thought, what would I actually do serious okay maybe he can add this

to his guilty pleasures I went serious I thought what would I actually do not a joke let's go deep side man shit nice

that's so deep who wants to do backing song for it so it's quite morbid I wake up and have my morning coffee black

I then go on my last run in nature. You wouldn't want like a nice latte or something? No. On the final day? No. Winter. Go on my last run in nature. That is so annoying to listen to.

After my last run in nature, I go play five-a-side with the boys. 20 all. Does everyone know this is the last day on earth? Yeah. So surely everyone's scrambling to the five aside pitch. We've already pre-booked it. I care. I then go to lunch at Victoria Park with Jodie and have my mid morning coffee and a lunch

at one o'clock. I then go home and make sweet, sweet love. We then go to eight hours. We then go to the pub with everyone and get absolutely battered. Play many drinking games. Beer pong.

Wine roulette. You name it. I feel like that's what would happen, right? And then I eat five guys. Cog. And then I die. Right. Fuck this, fuck that.

Guys, gobbles. Tries to do his gobbles. I've got a beast mode fact for you. Oh, beast mode. Can I go first? Go ahead, darling. Right. Would you this fact whilst Gaz Gubbles tries to do his Gubbles. I've got a beast mode fact for you. Oh, beast mode. Can I go first? Go ahead, darling. Right. Would you die in the pub?

Oh, but you're not going to listen to the fact that you're busy doing Gubbles. That's a really nice moment. Your mum want to see your parents? You're going to like this fact as well. Oh, I probably should do that, yeah. Vomit to the pub.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? I'm going to tell the fact but he's going to miss it and I think you'll like this one. No, I'm ready now. It's pretty peaceful. Right, okay.

My fact today is how they found the Titanic. Very interesting story this. So I want you to meet Jack Grimm. He was an oil tycoon and just sort of like sold all his business away. Oil tycoon.

Just like blah, blah, blah. He was like really rich and that um let's go back into normal backside um and he said she had all this money but he had an interest similar to mine and like the things that are unfindable and he wanted to find them so he used this money to like find the unfindable so he went on a huge expedition to find Noah's Ark. He's fucking crazy. He found it and he carries around like a piece of wood

from the Ark. He went on a hunt for Loch Ness Monster for like years. Apparently all he found was a picture and he claims that as a win. He threw his own.

Did he end up going to Loch Ness at all to find it? Yeah. He did. Young enough for Loch Ness Monster in the Atlantic. You know how deep Loch Ness at all to find it. Yeah? He did. You know how deep Loch Ness is?

No. I think it's the deepest lock in the UK. It's like 120 metres or something. Oh, wow. That is deep. That's deep side.

That's deep side. He searched for Bigfoot, he searched for Sasquatches, but for all this, the scientific community kind of looked down on him as they looked down on me in a way. Well, yeah, because if he's getting planks of wood from this, the scientific community kind of looked down on him as they looked down on me in a way.

Well, yeah, because if he's getting planks of wood from Noah's Ark, that kind of... Well, if it is from Noah's Ark, then... No, but I mean,

that's like anti-science, isn't it? It's science if it's real. Of course. Where did he find the wood? I don't know, Middle East somewhere? What I'm saying is

if he discovered the actual Noah's Ark, that proves... Well, he found a bit of wood. No, no. Yeah, but I'm saying in terms of the scientific community they'd go batshit crazy

because that would prove that religious things are. Yeah, but that would be good for science. What, was it signed by Noah? Noah was here. Noah was here. 4 AD.

2K 4D. Did you say 2K AD? No. 2K 4D? Like a new NBA game. Anyways, Gr 2KAD? No. 2K4D? Like a new NBA game? Anyways, Grim had a new mission. He wanted to sort of be taken serious. Grim.

So he was like, right, I'm going to find the Titanic. But that's a real thing though. Yeah, the record's there. Noah's Ark isn't necessarily a real thing. Yeah, so he wanted to be, he was like, I'm going to go. Isn't necessarily.

I'm going to find the Titanic. You know, this scientist can get on board with this. And although he's a laughingstock, he recruited like the best scientists there were about and like it was a genuine thing where like for years

they put all this research in and stuff and like they think they had like really good idea of where to go with it and like you know the scientists were like

really thankful because no one had really invested in finding the Titanic so like well surely it's somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean yeah they just don't know where that was

okay I mean they just started looking in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Yeah, they just don't know where. Okay. I mean, they've just started looking in the Indian Ocean. This is a bad place to begin. So essentially like a week before they go away on this expedition, everyone's ready. They think they've got the idea.

They've got a submarine. Lord's invested. Scientists on board, ready to go. And like, they're having a little party and they're saying, right, Jack, thank you so much for this, Mr. Grimm. Jack.

I was just about to say, is this a joke? Jack Grimm. Thank you so much for this. Listen, you're not Jack. I was just about to say, is this a joke? Jack Grimm. Thank you so much for this. Listen, you're not going to think this is real, but it's real. Jack Dorbison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, Mr. Grimm, thank you.

You've made our dreams come true. We're so excited to go find the Titanic. I don't think that's true. It's been 80 years. Well, because Mr. Grimm was like, that's not the only surprise. Oh, my God. I promise you this is real. That's not the only surprise oh my god I promise you this is real that's not the only surprise

I've got for you we've got like a new crew member fuck off if it's a monkey it's a monkey isn't it I swear to god

this is real if it's a monkey if it's a monkey and he's like he's like bring him in fuck off no

this is oh god it's the storytelling and it's like this this like shadowy figure yeah

and he's like holding hands of someone else oh fuck off Lewis I swear they wouldn't they wouldn't

allow it you can't take a monkey down to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean it could burst and it's it was a monkey

what is it then and it was like in the shadows and he like didn't say it was a monkey. What is it then? And it was like in the shadows and he like walks in holding it. It's obviously a monkey. It's an orangutan. It's on hands. And they're like,

there's like a beam of light coming through and he's like, walks into the light and he looks up and it's a monkey? It is a monkey. So after all that,

it was. Why would they dress a monkey up and put it on a submarine to go and search for the Titanic? The scientists were that's all that's what the scientists said they're like it's not true why why have you got monkey here and he's like right so what he said was what do you mean why it isn't true louis mate this is actually true it's not true it actually is true it's fucking mental so they took a monkey down to the bottom of the atlantic they haven't went

yet they haven't went yet i'm just saying grim wants to take a monkey down to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean? They haven't went yet. I'm just saying Grim wants to. Did he take a monkey to space? The pressure of... Look at what happened to that fucking... No, if humans can withstand the pressure of the time... I'm not saying he's even went yet. I'm just saying he's in the room. He's just on the ship. He's in the room. He's at the meeting. I never said he's there. He's in the meeting.

Why is there a monkey there? Obviously, like, Mr. Grim... For moral support. You have to remember, Mr. Grim isn't a guy fully embodied in science. He's been looking for Bigfoot and Loch Ness once over the last 10 years. So he said, Grimm believed Titan,

the monkey, could use extrasensory perception to find the Titanic's location whilst they were there and he would be a massive asset to the team. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the scientists at this point

are like, you're taking the piss, right? Like, we put our careers on the line to work for you. You have such a bad reputation you want to bring a fucking monkey on the mission and they

essentially went it's an ultimatum it's us or the monkey oh let me guess you see the monkey went down and found the titanic mr grim was like taken back he's like invested loads in this

and he like stands for he's like i choose monkey oh fuck shut up i promise this is thing like titan the monkey is a real thing we'll show you in a sec do you believe this i read it in a book you believe that you did i read it in a book i read it in your christmas book yeah i actually believe this it's a true thing mr grim is crazy so mr grim boards the submarine boards the submarine with his monkey a week later yeah and it goes out how many facts

are you through that Christmas oh like four five I've got the Jesus Paul McCartney one it is a fact

it happened carry on anyway so the monkey and them get on board and they're like going down and he's like are you ready

tighten and he's like oh was he a parrot obviously well they're locked and loaded loads of bananas

in there there's a lot of extra space some of the crews out there we could give monkeys bananas they love them

I don't actually think they eat them in the wild we've talked through this no they do they stole one off a baby

in Thailand that's how they sold the great airport with the hand and over of the monkey of the banana

oh my god you know this anyways general willy willy yeah corporate willy this is him corporate willy willy um you got issues anyway so they go down and like they only have a certain amount of time it's not like they're going down to see deaths it's like they have like this big camera on a submarine it's like not that technology And despite them finding like a new species of shrimp that was like this big, they found a starfish the size of a motorbike. Yeah.

Well, they send the stuff that's the actual depths. That's robotic, isn't it? Yeah. And it wasn't even at this point. This is like a bit earlier on before that science developed. I don't know. Fucking hell. But essentially, they run out of battery.

What do you mean you don't know? And him and Titan are getting a bit fucking annoyed with each other oh god catch your personality he wasn't understanding

anything he said well that's what I mean he's like Titan's not telling me where to fucking go oh right is he not and he's just there binging on bananas

I can't believe you think this is true he's just like binging on bananas when like we should be fucking finding the thing I'm running out of time I've sent my crew home

and I'm like, I'm going to be a laughingstock. Oh yeah. Oh, you're fucking showing off. Well, you've got a telescope

underwater. Oh, let me get out. I've got a telescope underwater. Then suddenly, he's pointing a banana at the Titanic

and you can see Jack Dawson on a fucking, holding onto a fucking door. Oh, oh, wow. Bunky's gone crazy looking through the telescope. You talk some shite. and you can see Jack Dawson on a fucking holding on to a fucking door funky going crazy looking through the telescope

you talk some shite like the telescope going on like that that's a periscope you're fucking so is it underwater or is it above water what

you can't look for a telescope underwater can you no it's a periscope he's oh fuck it's like that so he's like he thinks he sees a propeller and that's all they got they got like they saw this propeller and he's like grim was like we

did it monkey we did it and the monkey's like yeah anyway they go back to the top and like the celebrators like we fucking found it i told you you twat yeah unfortunately like the scientists didn't really agree that that was the propeller to the Titanic. And that was unfortunately discovered in 1985 by someone else

called Robert Ballard, who is an American oceanographer. But he did lay a credit grim and tighten the monkey for showing him where not to look.

And that is how the Titanic was found. Where not to look. Yeah. Essentially, they went in the complete wrong place. They were getting navigated by monkeys.

What did the monkey see? What was it? I don't know. Grim claims he saw the propeller, but this guy also said he's seen the Loch Ness Monster and has a bit of no rank. And he also claims... I don't believe the monkey was ever on that monkey ship.

Titan the monkeys, yeah. I don't believe that. Crazy. Crazy story. Anyways, that's my fact. I think yours blows me out of the water I'm just going to tell you about a famous player

I like that one I'm going to tell you about John Dobiny okay sounds beastly born in 1673 in the 17th century Jesus

he was a swordsman an opera singer and an all-round rebel Rapscallion born in France France oh he's a musketeer. That's bullshit.

John was trained in sword fighting from a young age by his father who worked for King Louis the... The orangutan from... XIV. Jungle Book. Copper Willy Wallop. Is that 14?

I'm the king of the swingers. Where's the monkey involved? King Louis? Yeah. I'm the king of the swingers. Where's the monkey involved? King Louie? Yeah. What, the monkey? I'm the king of the swingers. The jungle V. He wore bad man clothing.

He was a bad man. Yeah, in 1600s, he fought jewels. Did he eat fruitella? He even ran away with his fencing instructor. I don't think that's true. Yeah, after his father tried to arrange a marriage for him. Was he a monkey or not? No.

Huh? He's not a monkey. This is definitely not a monkey. So he's not an orangutan? No. Huh? He's not a monkey. This is definitely not a monkey. So he's not an orangutan? No. Well, wait, wait. Oh. Okay.

Fuck off. One of his most famous exploits involved falling in love with a young woman whose family locked her in a convent. How can they know that though? What's a convent? Prison?

A nunnery. How can they know that though? Where nuns go. How do they know that's fact? John broke into the nunnery. Little John from Robin Hood. John broke into the nunnery. How can they know that though? Where nuns go. How do they know that's fact? John broke into the nunnery. Little John from Robin Hood. John broke into the nunnery, staged a fire and helped the woman escape. This stunt got him sentenced to death in absentee.

Is that a place? Probably. Do you know what he did instead? He broke out and fled to Paris. Hurry. And kept living with her. In the wild. He later became an opera singer at Paris Opera,

where he gained loads of fame, not just for his voice, but for regularly getting into fights with noblemen who insulted him from the crowd. You'd fight the crowd. I don't... At one point, he fought three men in a single night,

and won. Oh, I bet he did. Danny G. Oh, yeah, Danny G. Yeah. And after all this, because he was such a good opera singer and he was a bad man,

King Louis XIV pardoned him from death. How'd he pardon him? He can't speak English. He went, oh, oh. His life was a mix of adventure, scandal and talent.

He lived off his own terms and he was one of the most badass figures in French history. Okay. Obviously, he fell in love with a young woman.

But what if I told you he wasn't called John? Or was he called D'Artagnan? Julie. Oh. What? It was a woman.

That's fucking beast mode oh they're little little woman and woman action yeah she was um she's a rug muncher oh that is awful but wait so she's she's been knocking out all these men in like she's one of the most like women historical figures so she's like if ronda Rousey was back then. Yeah. Yeah. Prior to her going to the WNBA. So you know when they were beating up blokes in the opera? Yeah. It was her.

Damn. That's crazy. But who told the story? Like, is she just making up the stories? No, it's in French history. That's badass. She was like a proper badass. That's fucking...

And people actually thought she was a bloke. When did they find out she wasn't? That's an old question, isn't it? I think he was doing a plot twist like you. Yeah, I know, but did they ever find out

she wasn't a bloke? Are you fucking sure? Yeah. Well, yeah, they knew it from the start. They knew all along, but he told us the story as it was.

Yeah. I thought she was masqueraded as a man to get through society back then. Not like you, no. She did dress in men's clothing

and stuff. Do you not remember when you said Djokovic was an ancient Roman boxer? And then you went well actually he's not like Djokovic.

No I thought the plot twist was like she was in a man's world but so she knew she had to dress as a man to... Yeah again you had that up in your head.

The moral of the story was you look at this famous historic bloke who's done all this fighting and whatnot. And shagging. And shagging. But women did it back in the day.

Wagwan. She was important for French history. Well, you just have to vote which fact you like better. Well, yours isn't a fact, so Theo. Mine's a fact. It happens. I kind of like Theo's one.

Because he did do a plot twist as well. I've got a fucking monkey who's went on an expedition to find the Tide Planet. You told us a made-up story. It's not me. Oh, Mr. Grim exists, mate.

Okay. I've read it in a book. Anyway. Do you want my... Jack Grim. Yeah, looks it, mate. Did Jack Grim find the Titanic?

Lewis, here's a question for you. Do you reckon Harry Potter's real? Ooh. No. I mean, technically Harry Potter is real, though. Jack Grim, there you are. The character's real. Ooh. No. I mean, technically... He's in a book.

Technically, Harry Potter is real, though. Jack Grimm, there we are. The character's real. What? I'm thinking about that one. It's a paradox. It's not real. With the ear of a monkey

named Titan. No. Yeah! He didn't find it, though, because yours wasn't a monkey. Yeah, no, but it's a fact that he didn't find it. But he went on an expedition with the monkey.

I don't believe that. I'm sorry. His stupid face. I don't believe that happened. Get it off. He's just going to start picking holes in it now. Well, what's wrong with that? Because then you're going to start saying

and doing anything to be like close to a bug. You know, it's right. He went on a mission with Titan the monkey to find the Titanic. Monkey news. Monkey news. Monkey news. Yeah you've gone full Carl Filkington.

Definitely not monkey news. The first headline today and we still haven't decided the forfeit for the original loss but

series two begins now and each week is going to be a new topic. Not necessarily recent news either. Okay. I quite like that

one. So these could be historical news. Yes I. It's up to you to ask questions. Right. Team Murder like that one. So these could be historical news. Yes, I. It's up to you to ask questions. Right. Team Murder Sharks.

Baseball double. Oh, is it sports round, is it? This is sports. They're all sports round. Sporty. So the first headline

is baseball double where basically there's a baseball player. This is a recent, well, it was some last year. I thought he was

going to say, this is a true story. There's a Boston Red Sox player Boston broke history for appearing for both teams

in the same game mid history oh that could be next one he's picked an American sport where we don't actually know next one Bonkers Conkers

scandal struck in the UK Championships as the 82 year old reigning champion who's been competing since 1977 was using a steel chestnut. True.

I've seen this. Genuinely or you just I've seen this. You actually have seen it. You've been rumbled. Okay. If that ends up being the fake one

we're never doing this again. He's been rumbled. Okay. If that ends up being the fake one, we're never doing this again. He's been rumbled. Amateur golfer breaks longest drive record due to lightning. What, it like propelled it forward? Well,

you ask questions. You know the first one? Due to lightning? What was the first one again? The baseball. What year and what was the other team? So, it was the Boston Red Sox.

I don't know who they were playing against. The Boston Red, on the 26th of June, 2024. So this was last year. They were playing against. How would you not know what the other team is? They were playing against the Toronto Blue Jays. I thought you said you didn't know. Toronto Bee Jays?

So the catcher, Danny. The Toronto Blue Jays. The catcher, Danny Johnson. Danny J? Danny J, carved out a unique piece of history as he became the first player to officially appear for two teams in the same game. There's no way that would be allowed. What about the Lightning? Unless it's an exhibition match. So the match began on the 26th of June with Johnson,

no, sorry, Jansen, not Johnson, in the middle of an at-bat for Toronto. So he was batting and it was called off due to rain in the second inning. A month later, Jansen was traded to the Red Sox and the game was resumed at Fenway Park in August. That seems believable. That does seem believable. Fenway Park in August. That seems believable. That does seem believable. Fenway's a real place.

I believe that. It does seem real. The teams are real. It does seem real. Annoyingly real. I know the teams are real. Because he wouldn't be cup tight because they never anticipated that to happen.

So the World Conquer Champion, and he's known as King Conquer. This is definitely real David I promise David Jenkins who's been competing since 1977

said he's kept a steel conker on him for humour value yeah but he's been playing with it he was fucking cheating this season

well he's vanquished opponent however made the accusation that he switched his genuine conker over to the steel Conker during the game. After investigation, J. Kings was cleared by the organisers

and allowed to keep his crown. Who organises the Conker competitions? Although he was beaten for the overall title by Queen Conker. Conker Cough. 34-year-old Kelsey Banchbash, originally from Indianapolis, Indiana. That's true. Why do you know that?

How do you know that? I just know it. We work in a podcast company, man. People talk about weird shit. Okay, so it's a UK competition, but the Queen Conker is an American... Because I know this geezer had never won before, and that's why he fucking cheated.

Because he was so desperate to fucking try and do it. No, he has won it. He hasn't. Your research is wrong. I promise you, this is real. Okay, what's the third one? Put on my life.

The third one is Doug Patterson, who's an amateur golfer, has smashed, well, what do you say, smashed? He's beat

the longest drive record, this was two days ago, after his ball was struck by lightning mid-air. I don't believe that. Which course, where, how? We cannot possibly

know. Who verifies whether or not that's true? Hang on, golf balls are not made of metal. Hang on, hang on, hang on. But why would that make a fart?

It would destroy it. It wouldn't hit the ball, would it? A 43-year-old accountant was competing in his local charity tournament when he teed off on the seventh hole.

It doesn't say where. Also, that's bollocks, mate. You wouldn't be allowed to play golf in the You wouldn't be allowed to play golf on the seventh hole. It doesn't say where. Also, that's bollocks, mate. You wouldn't be allowed to play golf in the lightning storm. You wouldn't be allowed to play golf in the lightning storm. Yeah, you can't. I think we go with common sense.

The PGA has yet to determine whether the shot qualifies as an official record. There's no way. Common sense will prevail. Logically, that's the word. You said he's an amateur. Why would PGA get involved?

Golf balls aren't made of metal, so it wouldn't attract the lightning, would it? Because he's climbing, he's broken, and so is the course. Yeah, you get rained off in the storm. It aren't made of metal so it wouldn't attract the lightning would it because he's climbing he's broken and shows the course you get rained off it doesn't say the course it doesn't say the course

you wouldn't be like that comment lads say it with me common sense will prevail common sense will prevail common sense will prevail common sense will prevail see

see see see I need information here how far is the drive? Mate, it's not been struck by lightning. We don't need... We can do this like... But if the stats are wrong

and I know there's a further drive then it's bollocks, isn't it? And he also said it was an amateur competition but then the PGA is getting involved. No, it was a charity competition. No, you said amateur. No, you said amateur golf.

He's an amateur golfer. So why would the PGA get involved? He's not a professional golfer. Why would the PGA get involved? Why is PGA getting involved? Are PGA in charge of the long drive competition? I don't think they are.

They are definitely not involved. It's C. It's C. The radar tracking I don't care what you want. I don't care what comes out of your mouth.

Jesus Christ, he's asked a question. Let me answer it. Radar tracking later confirmed the ball had travelled an estimate 14.3 miles landing in the parking lot

of a nearby Denny's how would they ever verify that that's bollocks radar tracking that's such bollocks look at it he did not read

this headline before you thought that was going to get vile it's got to be seen it's got to be seen 14.3 miles no golf ball goes 14 miles

why would Leighton make a goal that far also you would also how the fuck would you ever know where it ended up? I'd like to cash that in. That was my drive

off the 7th early whilst we were playing in the sports. That's from here to Richmond Park. I want to say one thing. And knowing that it ended up there.

How would you ever validate that it ended up there? They don't know what the ball is. I want to say one thing. He's wrote Doug Patterson in his ball.

Yeah. What if that's what he wants us to think? DP. No, don't do this. He wrote DP on it. Lou, common sense will prevail is what you just preached to us. I know, but maybe he knows that now.

No, I'm both. Logically, we did this last week where logically, how would you ever absorb an ancient language from 2,000 years ago? I could have read it. All right, can we vote? Can we vote? Lightning, it could have been it alright can we vote in a coma can we vote

lightning it could have been shot away by the lightning no it's not made of metal how would you ever know that your ball ended 14 miles away

it's not made of metal no one's ringing up the course going oh right there's a ball arrived here it's got DP on the side that's exactly what

happened actually it's bollocks mate you're lying you lose a ball in the bushes you're not finding it in Richmond Park if you shot it from here

are you? If someone picked up a golf ball 14 miles away that was my ball, how would they ever backtrace that to me? Because he's an amateur golfer. He plays like a lot. So he's got his own balls. He's known in the local area.

He's DP. He's Bill Patterson. I guess we've just got to see. All right, I'm going for C. Lock it in. You can't play golf in a lightning storm lock it in

you're not allowed to yeah but that can happen without you knowing it's a carry tournament 200 yards down

the field player welfare wait a second lads no no no but look at this video

are you ready we locked it in we've locked it in are you locked in yep I just don't understand the logic behind that

being a true story one being so ridiculously unbelievable and one being here right so the bonkers bonkers conquers

is a true story you actually knew that one yeah that's cool it can't be it's not real it can't be real

it doesn't go 14 miles insane what are you laughing about you're not allowed to play it it wouldn't go 14 miles why was the light it's What are you laughing about? You're not allowed to play in a lightning-

It wouldn't go 14 miles. Why was the light- It's not Mario Kart. It's not going to speed you up randomly. The fake story is the vice post. I fucking hate this game!

I told you, it's what he wants us to think! It's not true. Look at him. He was so happy. I don't believe it. He was. He was so happy.

I don't believe it. I don't believe it. It't believe it I don't believe it it's true how how it's probably bullshit

you're not allowed to play golf in the lightning store they probably just found a ball that's his in a

local Denny's or Denny's been rang up and then he's claimed it's his because he maybe hit the ball

he got lost and the headline the old headlines take a ball 14 I'm not disputing that but the he's claimed it's his because maybe he hit the ball and he got lost. It's a headline. The old boys who had lines take a ball 14 miles. I'm not disputing that but the story's true and they're claiming it's true.

There is a true headline. We need to go. Yeah, yeah. The headline is true but that is a bonus story. We need to go to this Denny's and fucking sort them out. I told you,

it's what he wants us to think. When we hunt for lizard, man, we're doing this. We're going Denny's. We had a 50-50 chance there because I knew one of them was still fucking lost. We need to get Doug Fats there because I knew one of them we still fucking lost. We need to get Doug Patterson

on the show. Don't pull this out. 14.3 miles. You weren't What drive? I said A. Can we get Doug Patterson You weren't bullish enough

on A. I said A. No, in previous weeks you've been like I know this one leave it to me. You didn't say Nish when we were

coming with Max here. Yeah, but last week he did say I know for a fact it's I and he got it wrong so I think he's confidence is shattered

yeah next week please get Doug on the show do you think you'll ever beat me we have to speak to Doug about this

Doug Patterson the longest oh shit yeah he hit you 14 miles it's bollocks mate whether or not that's actually a real headline

that story is bollocks wait I'm not I will not hear the end of this we have to speak to him yeah we have to speak to him. Yeah. We have to do it.

I feel fucking sick of him. He's 43 years old from, he's actually from Augusta, which is in Georgia, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. He's actually, I don't think it was at Augusta, but he didn't actually say

the course he was at, but it was a charity tournament. So I think there was pros playing. Oh, that's why he hit 14 miles. No, no, that's why the PGA were... That is insane. But they aren't verifying it.

I wonder why. Also, how has he been hit by a lightning strike? Whilst he's on the court. It hasn't. That's what I mean. I think there must have been a lightning hit as he hit his ball. Then he's lost his ball.

And then a similar ball's been found at a Denny's and now he's claiming it's his. That's the gist. Who's ever relaying that information 14 miles away going, oh, I tried to ring the local course because it's the only golf course around here. Also, also.

I found a ball in the drive. Also, I'm completely lying. That was the full story. It was? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not the double bluff.

Yeah. So the baseball was true? Yeah. Do you know what's funny though? Fuck off. Yes! Yes! Not the double fluff, man. Yes! So the baseball was true? Yeah. Do you know what's funny, though? Fuck off! I told you! I was saying common sense will prevail. Someone's going to turn off before you reveal that

and go around telling everyone that. We've actually found you out. All we have to do is base our arguments in common sense. That's not true, though. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. Not with the fucking, the spy whale. Yeah, exactly. But we got that, didn't we? No, we didn't get that. I got that. I must admit, I think I got a bit cocky. That's not true though No it's not Yeah it is Not with the fucking The spy whale Yeah exactly

But we got that No we didn't get that I got that I must admit I think I got a bit cocky this week And thought I could get you with Something a bit mental Yeah

14 miles 14 miles Playing golf in a lighting store No no no But you No but you had I thought you'd have known The longest drive

I don't know that So I was going to guess And you'd have gone Well that's not true The longest I was going to guess, and you'd have gone, well, that's not true. I was going to go like 500 yards, but it's probably more than that. It's probably more than that. Yeah.

It is more than that. But then when I read 14.3 miles, I'm like, I'm fucked here. You should have said like- You should have changed it to like two miles. I should have said like a thousand yards or something. Yeah, I know. But I didn't think I was on the spot.

A lightning strike. You lost your bottle there. Yeah, I did a bit. Lightning strike. Because he already knew the conker was real. He's already guessed it. And then the more I was reading of the baseball, a lightning strike 850km yeah I did a bit lightning strike because he already knew the conker was real and then the more

I was reading of the baseball one even I was going that is really believable but I can't change the story to make it sound

fake so I have to just go with it it's funny how the game was delayed about a month replayed it

it's a bit like when Everton and Liverpool got rescheduled didn't it they started the game. I know, but they... That's quite interesting.

They would have had other games scheduled. Well, it's like in golf. If it gets called off, you can play like four or five days later. And tennis next day. Yeah. You carry on the score. It's kind of crazy. Do you know what I thought?

I didn't know in basketball they play like every three days. Sometimes back-to-back days. That's insane. Are they not tired? Yeah. You play like one minute at a time though don't they it's fine

no yeah the best players play like 40 minutes a night yeah it's beast mode do baseball do that back to back days I don't think so

is it often no I'm pretty sure baseball like a game doesn't last only one day I'm not sure I'm not sure with baseball

it could be like cricket yeah I think it might be but yeah I'd say how long no how long is a baseball game on average 162 games

that's too much two and a half hours oh no so they do they do last in say how often do baseball teams play 162 games

oh yeah one game every day game a day that's from April to September when do they train on the off season who's watching all

that that doesn't imply every team plays one a day. It just means the league. Yeah, but still, who's watching that much fucking baseball? Yeah, they can't play every...

They love it in America. Teams play roughly one game every day. I mean, yeah, it must be. Let us know in the comments. Anyway, it's 1-0 to the lads. The lads have won it up in Series 2.

We've done an Arsenal, boys. Well done. Next week, I need to come back with some heavy shit. But if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a like, subscribe, rate us five stars on Apple, Spotify, all that shite. And we will be back next week with more bollocks. Bye.

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