Back Side - Theo Makes An Old Lady Cry! Inside KSI's YouTuber FPL Holiday & We Answer Your WOULD YOU RATHER Questions

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of backside with me Reeve Theo Baker Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden If you haven't already hit follow why not tap it right now for new episodes every week And if you want to see more backside catch us on YouTube tick tock and Instagram where all you have to do is search backside Let's get into it. You've got your life together. She's got a life together like you live together You've been together three four years probably probably time is it? You've been together three, four years, probably time. Probably time, isn't it? It's probably time. Have you looked at rings ever?

No. I swear I haven't. Yeah, that was a... How was your camping trip? Really fun, actually. I've been limping. This is so embarrassing. Oh, don't get your f***ing spores out.

And it's so, it's honestly so painful. Fair play to Reeve, by the way. Came on the holiday in top form. Open up! Harry got food poisoning. Worst food I've ever had. Food poisoning from what? Lobster.

Big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big It's honestly so painful. Fair play to Reeve by the way. Came on the holiday in top form. Open up! Harry got food poisoning. Worst food I've ever had. Food poisoning from what? Lobster. Think about that lady at Portugal in the paddle thing.

Oh, apparently screamed at an old lady. She was in her forties and she was a... Ha ha ha! When was the last time we recorded? Cause what's happened, Sid? Two weeks. Two weeks ago, innit? What's happened?

Camping the weekend. Camping. FPL trip. FPL trip. Sam Two weeks. Two weeks ago, innit? Camping the weekend. Camping. FPL trip. FPL trip. Sam Fender. Sam Fender. Sam who? How dare you?

What have you done? Hello there. Jodie's birthday. Well, that's a natural one to start with. FPL trip, yeah. Being ill. And what have you done at home, and have you subscribed? Please subscribe.

Thanks for 50k. Also, thoughts on Lewis's Adidas. Oh, cameras over there. they didn't receive you louis adidas jeans yeah look at these no but more importantly guys cal freezy's engaged yeah he went a little bit under the road. Yeah. Good reason to miss the FPL trip to be fair. Yeah. He just went. Oh, is that when it happened? Oh, FPL trip happened as well. That's how long it's been.

We've said that like four times. Four times, five times. But congratulations to Cal and truffle pig. You're not going to say her actual name. They don't know her name. Yeah. Under the radar. Who's she? Shaniqua. Shaniqua. Shaniqua. Shalom. Yeah, what do you think of that? I'm really happy for him.

I'm feeling all right. Was he like the natural one for who's next, I guess? And now it's like... No, because I don't think people... They've been together a while, haven't they? ...in the friend group because obviously it was a little while, but... It was a very like out of the blue... It was out of the blue.

Do you know how long he'd planned it for? No idea. Obviously quite a while. I always felt he was like sort of next in line a little bit, weren't they? Yeah, but you're only doing that based off time spent in a relationship, not necessarily. Yeah, that's completely my-

Oh, I didn't think that. No, I think he was outdated. I think he should have done it fucking years ago. Well, no, it's not like time in relationship and like how old are you? How long have you been in yours? I, uh, three to four years. Oh, so you've been...

What do you mean three to four? But Charlie's a bit younger than me. So it's like when you both go slower. It's like as you get closer to your 30s, you're going to get engaged, aren't you, naturally? Depends. Depends. What you thought that happened. Yeah, I knew you were going.

There's no right or wrong. We all know who were going. There's no right or wrong answer. There's no right or wrong answer. I agree. But like, no. Yeah, some people don't want to get my rematch. No, I mean, when you get my, when you're, it's all personal, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely.

Do we know how we did it, or is it like private? I like the piece of string. I know how it happened, but I think it is a private thing. What's that? We contributed to it. I don't think we should. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's pretty beautiful.

No, I don't know. If he's already spoke about it like publicly. I don't know if he has. I haven't heard it, so let's just knock. Let's shoot ourselves in the face. One thing though, Louis, surely like- I don't like people being happy. If you've been together three to four years,

surely you're dropping the knee soon, no? Drop, dropping the knee? How long have you been with me, I don't think? Three to four years. All right. See, the reason, like you don't have the exact date. Four years in November. Which? Three to four years. All right. See, the reason you don't have the exact date. Four years in November. Which is three to four years.

And you've got your lives together. She's got a life together. Like, you live together. You've been together three, four years. Probably time. Probably time, isn't it? It's probably not time. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow.

Maybe you are doing it tomorrow. Have you looked at rings ever? No. I swear I haven't. Yeah, that was a hurt. Why do you have to ask? Do you think when you propose, do you think you'll cry when you're making the speech? No. I swear I haven't. Yeah that was a hurt. Do you think when you propose, do you think you'll cry when you're making like the speech like sort of? Yes. Do you know what I mean? Probably. He will cry. I think he will have a nice speech. He will cry bowing the ring. Oh it's just so beautiful.

Imagine when he's doing it on a rock. It's lasting off. I'll be crying about how expensive it's going to be. Oh. Now you are probably next in the you wouldn't cause you so rich you wouldn't know is it? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we go on the list of your like YouTube friend group. I feel like you're, you're next in line. It looks like few that's left actually for anything. Nah, Chris, he's not got a missus. Well, talking about, yeah, you're definitely next. Maybe I'm, maybe I'm not but hey how would I do it without saying what how you're actually gonna do it cuz they're not a spoiler oh yes a great story yeah just in case you ever come back to it

wouldn't it wouldn't be it wouldn't be like extravagant Will it involve any sort of time up? On Romeo's... Yeah, we get it. Will it have flown out like you don't know? I feel like you'd do it at the end of a really scenic run. She's into a run in now as well. She's into a run in. That was awesome.

I actually explicitly told her I can't do that and I wouldn't do that because that makes it all about you. That wouldn't be that because that makes it all about you. Yeah, she's- That wouldn't be like you at all. But she thought you might win. What happened to me? I got knocked off on the knee, I get cramped. Joy, I love, she said you won't do that

but you'd still got told you can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I tell you, as a person that has done it, I'll give you- Off a race? No, no, no, I'll give you one tip for free. Make sure you propose at the start of the holiday because then you get loads of free stuff throughout.

I did it right. Oh, oh. What do you mean free stuff? Riggs on about getting loads of blow jobs. Yeah, is that what you- No, I'm kidding. I didn't even think of that. When did you buy stuff?

No, I'm talking about stuff from the hotels. Oh, I didn't think you meant that. When you go around, tell them all like- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, Reeve, in hindsight, like you did it at the end of the holidays, that's your shit move. Yeah, it really was. Because you're like- Yeah, because I'm the fifth of all time. Now we're fighting home now. It was so- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, wait, even hindsight, like you did it in the holidays, that's your shit move. Yeah, it really was.

Cause you're like, yeah, I'm just at home now. It was so- Yeah, let's celebrate. Yeah, it was supposed to be way earlier, but where I actually proposed got like rained off. So- You've got-

Rearrange it with the weather. Rearrange it. You could just lie. Yeah. You could just say we've got engaged. I'll do that with birthdays all the time. It's my birthday. So you had a birthday. At dinner.

Actually, you do it fucking frequently. What do I do? You say your birthday. I do it at my anniversary. At my anniversary. It works. You go into a restaurant and say, oh, it's my mate's birthday.

You get free cake. Although to be fair, when me and Liv went out for our anniversary. I was glad it happened. I know, right? Because you're trying too hard there. An anniversary is when you're married. Oh, he's trying too hard to be the cool blog. I'm really nice.

I hate it. Birthday. Let's get that right. Yes. It was the only time we've ever been to a restaurant. They said, are you celebrating anything special? And we said, they went great great, and just sat us down. Oh, no, sorry. No, sorry.

Great, we've got a table for you. Yeah, we got, no, that's actually not true. They give us, I don't know why I'm telling this story now. They did actually give us some Prosecco, I think. Oh, see, you just, yeah. Oh, no! Me and Charlie did it just recently. Shut the fuck up!

Congratulations, congratulations. You finally had sex. Yeah, not yet. But you did really not yet food around your mouth as well why are you shouting I don't know but we got like free dessert there's two free drinks still there lick it lick your fingers and do it have you had more anniversaries with males at restaurants or feet you've got food all around there oh my god you have it's teeth one ratio yeah now lick your fingers and get it off because it's all sriracha.

Yeah, okay. Oh, I was still there. It's fine. I'm annoyed. I'm really annoyed now. No, you've got a cold sore. Shh. Sorry.

Go ahead. It's not really a good sign. Just got three to two drinks. Talk to us about Sam Fender then. I think it's quite cool that you and Charlie went out on the piss together. Yeah. I saw the video of you at Sam Fender.

No, I didn't see any video. Or was it me sucking someone off in the toilet? No, it's... I should have said. It was good to be fair. I was fucking... Actually him? No, it's going to be something. It looks like him with long hair.

What did you do during the day? Just go out? Go out on the Pee Vee Con Carney. No. How was it being back in Newcastle? We did have to wear a hat and sunglasses. I did actually have a bucket hat and custom Sam Fender sunglasses that Charlie made just coincidentally. She made them She means so I thought you'd bought all his merch

No, I got the heart but then she put some unfendo on each of the glasses and I was aware That's not really a good letter to letter ratio. No, no, it doesn't she did them in uneven spots I love the door. I love the effort Charlie. You did you did I will say you look like major super fans. I look like major super fans. You both do. Oh okay, okay, yeah, get with me. Like serious, like intensely. Well Charlie, this is the thing right, I asked Charlie, I was like, sorry I found it.

What is going on? If you're listening to this, Tom does the arrow. Cutting off on the story. Just a guy in glasses dancing. With a... With... How should we describe... How should we describe the company?

Is he considered God? He's very well... What to the Jordies? You're so aggressive, isn't he today? He's really looking, yeah, yeah, he's very well looked. What to the Jordys? You then? You're so aggressive, isn't he today? He's really looking for a fight. Tom the conversation killer. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me interrupt this with an insult. Wait, am I right? What are you a Jordy? No. Okay. No, he's very, yeah, yeah, he's got class M. Do you know what the thing is, right? Brilliant, class. So Charlie, I asked Charlie, I was like, who's your like, slow crush?

And like naturally you think- He's the whole pack. Well, not naturally you think like, okay, it's gonna be like fucking, I don't know, Hugh Jackman or something like that. Hugh Jackman? Hugh Jackman, mine would be like, I don't know, Sabrina Carmen or something like-

Something like that. Someone who I'm never gonna meet ever. Yeah, Charlie's like- Wait, yours is Hugh Jackman? It would have been if I was a girl. Hers is him, but Yeah, Charlie's like. Well, yours is Hugh Jackman. It would have been if I was a girl. Hers is who? She's like Sam Fender. The thing is though, she literally,

she lives like five minutes down the road from Sam Fender where he's walked her home from like night out with her and her mates and that. Wait, what? Wait, he's walked her home? Nothing happened. How do you know that? That was really weird. Just because they all went to, like it's just because he's from, like. How do you know that? That was really weird.

Just cause he's from, like, How do you know nothing happened? That was his talk. She promised me. That might be the weirdest thing you've ever said in your life. She promised me. No, but the thing, guys,

He shagged my girl. Do you know the Peter Keir thing where, Do you know the Peter Keir thing where his wife's going to him, he's like, go on, who's your crew? She's like, nah, nah. Claire from work. Claire from work.

It's kind of like that. It's not because she's not my... You can't pick some fender. Are they like the same age? No, some fenders older than me. Wait, so... Tobi can not put that on some fenders, Niamh. Wait, so she knows him really, she knows him.

Are they friends or... She's seen him. Are they friends or... No. Well, how are they walking over from home? So he walks him home. So if I'm... You look like a little friendly gnome.

If you're talking about your celebrity crush, you can't then name the person who's like you see at the pool. That doesn't cut. He's still going through his local pub on that. Oh my goodness. He's classy. He brought on like a hello. You meant to say don't talk about my girlfriend like that. She isn't Norm, I think she looks like a Kathy Barra. Oh, that makes me feel bad. Louis, it could be worse. Her whole past could be like Theo or Reeve or me.

Wait, so you're two. That's the worst. Yeah, the worst would be Tommy. Wait, so Louis, so, but like, your mates, you're technically, your mates are a mate of Dan Bender. Nah, but it's classic, how were the three tickets?

During the show, they were free. There's my Christmas present. They were free. They're free for you. They're free for you. I wish I was that big time. But he brought on like a, he brought on a 15 year old busker

who busked the last show from outside with a bike full. He brought on his old guitar teacher who used to like, he teaches everyone in the area. Did you do any singing? Yeah, he did. Well, he brought on like, it's nice that he makes some children. And next up it's the man who sold me all those goods back in the day. No but he brings on loads of people from the local area which is pretty beastful.

He brought on the dancing Geordie, do you remember him? What soccer I am? He used to do all the kicks. Oh no. Do you remember him? Can you stop kicking the table? What's his songs? Name his songs. Hypersunny Missed Eyes. Hypersunny Missed Eyes came on my shuffle the other day just as you were going to the concert.

He's alright. Rufus Rice put on his fucking story the other day saying he's over it and he's shit. I was like, this guy's fucked. He's not shit. I must admit, I do think a lot of his songs are samey-samey. I feel like that's a lot more. He'd have a similar sound. He's so nice in James's Park. He's obviously pretty. Same as Sabrina Carpenter. Second time he's done this. Are we gonna, is it, can I just ask you a question? I'm not giving an opinion. Is it cringe wearing a football top to his concert? How many people want to... Because I feel like...

I actually feel like he segregates, like Sunderland fans. Yeah, well, this is the thing. Like, the Sunderland fans would never go to... Why though? That's stupid. I don't think Sunderland fans would like something because of his... But no, I think that's so stupid. They don't think Sunderland fans would like Sam Fenger because of his outfit. No, I think that's so stupid. He talks shit about Sunderland and everything.

In one of his gigs he was like, I've seen the Cup final or something, or the play-off final, they had my severed head on a Sunderland flag. I fucking made it. I love that. George Russell's a Wolves fan, I still want him to win the GP. It's just like a lot of Newcastle fans and people from that area go, The only reason I ask, and I'm not being, can you stop doing that please? Oh my god. Do you like Michael Jackson?

No. I was just about to say. Do you like his music? Yeah. Oh, you like his music? What the fuck's going on there? Well, that's sort of... You like his music, don't you?

Yeah, I do. Do you like him? But I can compartmentalise the difference between... What's going on there? Well, that's sort of... You like his music, don't you? Yeah, I do. Do you like him? But I can compartmentalise the difference between... What the fuck are you on about? He's not a massive Swindler fan. Are you insinuating Michael Jackson being a paedophile is the same as something fans go into a Newcastle fans gig?

Well, he was both black and white. That's not a good analogy to make. That was good. Yeah, that was probably the most mental problem I've ever had. I think it's a sort of thing where it's cringe from the outside, but if you're a Newcastle fan it's class. No, the only reason I say that is because I was singing Newcastle Chances Beast Mode. I will probably wear that Oasis Man City shirt to Oasis.

That's cringe. Do you reckon? That's cringe. I don't know. I think we just have fun man. It'll be you like the fifth of a house of people wearing it. I think it's good. It's true actually. I don't know. It'll be you like the fifth of the house with people wearing it. I think it's good. It's true actually, yeah.

I'm fucking a hunk of that as well. He's not a man's city. You think loads of people will be wearing Oasis things. I see that as more of an Oasis thing. Does that make sense? I'm gonna wear like a long jacket as well. Yeah, I'm gonna get sideburns. I got a question though, right?

So like for Sam Fender, for Sam Fender, playing St. James' Park, like only a few years ago, he was like local scene in the area. Never thought he'd do that. That's his like absolute Everest. Yeah. what's your would your number one Everest be? Where you think it's only downhill from here scoring the winner in front of the Moline for the album for the album That'll be your all-time Everest moment. No fucking port Vale

Winning the Ryder Cup for Europe probably no. No wait hang something that could happen That's boring in it. No, I think ground it a, that could happen. That's boring, isn't it? No, I think ground it a bit. I could play for Albion. No, but I tell you what could happen, West Brom could do like Chris Brunt testimonial. What, sorry? Testimonial, and they invite you to play.

I think they've already done it. Well, whoever, name a player. Livermore? Name a player. He wasn't there. Name a player who might have a testimonial. Oh God, we haven't got many at the minute. Imagine there's one. Anyone. Josh Madger. My dad. Okay, your dad has a testimonial and they invite you down to play and you score. I wouldn't be my Everest. I've played at the Hawthorns. Watch Everest, that's grounded. No, no, but their testimonial would be in front of a sold out Hawthorns and you score a winner.

That's not the same. It wouldn't mean anything. Because like I said, Rory's was winning the Masters. That wouldn't mean anything. No, I swear to God it wouldn't. Why do you fucking say it like that? That would be like scoring on a Thursday night at 6 o'clock. I think that is fucking mental.

Because it's a nothing game. How are you saying? If I played for the Albion and scored against the Wolves in front of the Wolves' home end, that I'll dread that moment. But that's never going to happen. But you've just said, you've just said, Scoring the U6 aside on a Thursday would mean the same to you as scoring a winner for Chris Brunt's testimonial in a Soliard 4-4. Have you ever watched a testimonial?

It's like soccer aid. It doesn't, it's still sick. Why are you downplaying it? That's what it is still. I'd be more like buzzing for that soccer raid than like a Christmas testimony. No one cares. Yeah. They're all pissing about.

Alright, soccer raid then. I mean, I wouldn't, that would be cool. Or red pick soccer. That wouldn't be my... What's Everest then? What is it? I don't know. You put me on the spot now.

You've started with Pompadourine. How's that negative? How's that negative? Because I think scoring at the Hawthorns in front of sold out crowds is probably a bit more cool than scoring on your Thursday night five a star. That's your opinion. They're not going to cheer with passion is what you're saying. It would be fun and it would be great, but it wouldn't like the feeling I imagine like when I said like scoring in front of the fucking dingles and I'll just go If you ever watched the testimonial have been to one they

Pissing about no one cares. It's just to celebrate Personally would have fought as a West Brom diehard West Brom fan. That would be fucking cool. Well, it's not to me. I'm sorry My every I'll tell you what my every should be What do you think of that? I understand what you're saying, but what he's saying is, it's like... He offered you an actual one. And you said that wasn't good enough? And then you said you can't have that one. But it's not realistic. It's never going to happen.

And then that's not Everest, then, is it? Well, then, yeah. Monkite, my Everest... Sam Senders was unrealistic, but it was within current reality. Yeah, but... He's not going to go play championship football. Okay then, watching Albion win the Champions League or the Premier League. Yeah, but that's obviously not...

It doesn't matter that much, does it? Okay, more and more... That's fair. More would be to watch Albion win the Champions League or the Premier League. That's fair. So really... That's fair. In theory, yours should have already happened.

You scored a hat-trick at the home of football. No, I think I've said something better than that. What have you got? But this is what I mean. What would your. No, I think I've something better than that. What have you got? But this is what I mean. What would your Everest be Theo? What's less realistic than... Here we go. I think my Everest would be scoring a winner at a sold out Emirates for like soccer aid

or something. No, Wembley's better. But the thing with that is... But Everest means more to me. So like... Because I've done Wembley a lot. But you've played at Arsenal a lot as well. But do you know my thing with that Theo is like,

I just think as a football fan, like I thought yesterday, I don't even know who scored the winner or so. Me neither. No one will in a week. Like it's a nice thing for the day and it's a massive experience, it's quality, but the actual meaning of the game is probably

the least important thing, do you know what I mean? Not for the people playing. You're thinking about from the outside, for a person playing that means everything. Yeah, but that's the same thing that you tried to attribute to him. You said, well, you're playing at the Hawthorn, so therefore it must mean a lot to you. I think it would be like... I think to the normal person it would. No, it would be very cool.

I don't know if it's... Because I'm comparing it back to like Sam Fender's playing that, it's like meaningful for everyone there watching as well if you if you if you got to play say sock right go to St. James's Park so that your plan you score the winner you tell me that means nothing to you same as a fucking third I'm not telling you that I didn't say that Would mean all right, what about I? Nikki buts testimonial why is the key book a testimonial at Newcastle? Do you understand what testimonial is? Yes,y Buckett a testimonial at Newcastle? Do you understand what a testimonial is?

Yes I do. What's your obsession with testimonials? Yeah, yeah. You can only score a testimonial. How do you have a testimonial? Which one do you take? At testimonials, do you actually go, how do you get a testimonial? When the club offers it to you?

No. Being in the teams, who's played it? You have to be there 10 years, that's what a testimonial is. Yeah, club legend. No it's not. At the testimonials, say you score, when Saka's what a testimonial is. You're a club legend. No, it's not. Theo, at the testimonial, say you score when Saka's 10-year testimonial, whatever, it was a fucking player, and you score the winner. Everyone doesn't want you to score the winner.

They want the person who says it. I don't give a shit about it. It's for you. You score that. No, Theo, that's my point. It's not about you, so it wouldn't mean anything to me scoring on Chris Brunt's testimonial. They want to see Chris Brunt score the winner. Cause it's his testimonial. You'll be walking off going, me. Yes.

And they're all like, all of them are like, Chris Brunt me. You're literally not listening to me then. I said, if you scored that, what that means to you would be everything. No, cause all the fans are like, come on, get it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You just want to say, for this part, you just wouldn't care. No, I'd care. But if it's the winner in the testimonial, it's like they don't,

the fact anyone watching doesn't want me to be scoring the winner. We want the person who's testimonial is. Yeah, but that impacts how you think about it. Because you're embarrassed to celebrate because they don't want you to think. Embarrassed. Oh, you fucking idiots. I don't. OK, I'll put we play this game. I'll put we play this game where we see what Everest is and Dio tells us what we're wrong? Yeah, what you ask is a question we give our opinion.

You say you feel embarrassed to score like... No, I'm saying it's not as good for that. He explained it very well. I said it's not as good for that because the crowd's cheer isn't real for you. Yeah. It's not like... It's not real for you though. But it's not though.

But that's impacted by how they feel to you. It shouldn't be. But it is! Okay, why do you just go on the fucking Sunlily League pitch then? If they're fucking, if nothing matters, when you played Arsenal for the prime game, did it matter, change anything, having no fans compared to fans? I loved it. I fucking celebrated big time for that goal. Okay, yeah, so like that goal would feel the same as if it was a sold out Emirates.

No, but I've also done a lot of different things, haven't I? So perspective changes. Show off. He changed that bit, it's neat. Well it's true, perspective changes. Go on, what else have you done, Theo? Got a hat trick at Wembley in front of 9,000 people. That is cool.

So perspective changes. So is that your Everest? That's what I said earlier. Well, you see, that one, or the goal you scored when you beat like four. I'd say that's what I figure. Yeah, but that was a competitive game, and like that, the only reason I bought

the six aside, like I'm obviously being a bit silly, but that's more competitive than a fucking testimonial. So it means more, or it means you, like the Wembley goal you scored, and like you see celebration, that I get, and I'd probably be the same, you'd be buzzing. But your comparison of a testimonial is an, or like a charity game

I don't think is because it's not competitive. Yeah, everyone's there for a bit of water. Do you know I mean? Yeah, you're not there to be the star or the passion's not That's just my personal opinion and I haven't I haven't played in one. So I don't actually know I'm just guessing what It was like a charity soccer a ton thing. It would change I don't actually know, I'm just guessing what I think. So if it was like a charity soccer raid something, it would change then, like you said. I mean, why would you need to get past this? What?

We need to move past this. Wait, what's the question? So if you were like, soccer raid will came to the Hawthorns, and you play a new score in the last minute winner, that's different. I don't think it would be that. I don't know how it feels. I think it's a little different,

because the crowds march here. The crowds march here. I just don't think the game's that competitive. It's not like people aren't there. Everyone on that pitch isn't there to win. I'm not saying they want to lose, but they don't think the game's that competitive. It's not like people aren't there. Everyone on that pitch isn't there to win. Are they? I'm not saying they want to lose, but they don't care. Whereas like that game you played at Wembley,

everyone wanted to win, it's competitive. So me personally, when I go and play a game competitively, it means more whether it's for fucking dog and duck or whatever level. If I played a game at a high level where the season was dead, it doesn't mean as much, but it might mean more playing on a Sunday league where a game could win you the league or something. That's just natural inner feelings of playing sport, no? Of competitiveness?

Yeah. I get your point. I was just saying, in soccer aid, like... I get your point, but you're wrong. Everyone on that pitch wants to win. But they don't play like it so and I'm not saying they want to lose but again you've got to put me there's no point me fucking anyways. Reeve what's your Everest? Also if you want to win. Selling pitch side for 50 million pounds that's never happened. Sign what? Oh yeah in the realms of Poblyristic. 50 mil. That's fucking mean so you want to quit the show? No but it's 50 million pounds isn't it? That's fucking mean. So you want to quit the show? No, but it's 50 million

pounds, innit? That's pretty nasty. I was making a joke guys, because I was, you know. You're not allowed. I don't know, what would you want to do? Well I said winning the Ryder Cup with a pot that I'd made, but you said that doesn't... You're not going to make the Ryder Cup, are you? Don't get me started. I don't know. I feel like you have to win something or do something. And like that's, it was like, ah, I just don't know. You know what I mean? But I don't know what you'd win at this point. From this point, for me, for me, it's like, if you go through something and you win it,

that's like, oh. I think I'd like to do something like in high level sport, whatever sport, whether like, you know, like an achievement, like not high levels, but like, say like, but for you, qualify for an achieve like not high levels but like say like but for you qualify for Worlds or something in high rocks or Qualify for the world championship in I'm I did that good actually really that's sick He got 58 minutes with his partner Jesus Christ a lot controversy around high rocks as well will leave

Oh, I saw that guy going mad. I didn't get it. That's a matter rigged. Yeah Matt on the end that They've done new mat. But also, you spent a minute complaining. Just switch. He DNF'd. A lot of them DNF'd because it was just unfair. Friction. It actually was bad.

Yeah. What was wrong with it, though? Some bits didn't push as easy where others didn't. They should be standardized. The way the mat is. Because they brought a new mat. I don't know why I know so much about this. But they brought a new mat.

And essentially, it's the first time they used it. And some sledges just won't move and the other ones just go high. It was at the World Championships. That was the mixed-ship. Yeah, she'll both win that. Bad that. And I think I saw as well, like,

there was a lady who won, or maybe it was mixed doubles or whatever, they won, but their timing chip hadn't worked. So they got DNF'd. That's crazy. I'm glad that guy's- How could you just watch them? Yeah, yeah, it's a good point.

I mean, I watched it, finished. Well, it's like I'm the fastest man in the world. Yeah, you are I'm completely half marron in a sec. Yeah, but there's no proof. They did the laps. Yeah, fuck them. I Mean, yeah, fuck. It's a stupid sport. Let us know your Everest and the color horrendous segment. What was your actual Everest though? Give me the said you winning You you winning you, you winning Reeve wins. I'm a celebrity million subs. Oh fuck off. That's not, that's not the be all and end all of my life.

Having subscribers is cool. High goal though. Yes. It's, it's probably my current goal. Yeah. It's my current goal. I wouldn't say it's an Everest day. I'd love to. I feel like that wouldn't like it would be once you reach it, be like, ah nice, but then it's just like- Yeah, yeah, but you carry on.

Then it's, yeah, it's not like there's another- It's not like something happened and it's like a big moment. You might be just in your living room and be like, oh, I'm on a million now. I actually don't know. I think I have a really sick one. I actually don't know. I think my life's really cool. To have-

Be smart. What's the word? What was we talking about earlier? Like a- A brand. No, no, like a successful, sustainable business that kind of can run on itself. I've actually thought of that.

Have kids and be married. Yeah, that's exactly what I like. Be a dad. Before I'm 40. Without sounding soppy or anything, it's probably to be a dad. Yeah, to be a dad with a successful self-run business. Yeah.

Unmarried before the age of 40. I think they had good goals on me, to be a good father. Yeah, I be a dad with a successful self-run business, unmarried before dad's... I think they're good goals, aren't they? To be a good father? Yeah, with a fuck-off whack-out. My mindset's not there in life on a few of your little years' movies. You know what? I'm not even joking. That is a bit of an Everest. You could afford that now, Theo.

No, but having... You just haven't got this bank. No, but I couldn't afford that, but having the land... I think having land to do what you want. Yes, that is a good idea. That's not an average view, that's very achievable for you. I want a genuine... That would be my average, I think.

Having a home set up like that is like my dream come true. But you're like halfway to that already. Hatriga Wembley's probably just that's probably it isn't it. How about does it get better as a person? How about becoming the High Rocks world champion? Yeah I'd be fucking lit. But you gotta do with your top on and you can't post it. I'd have to put my I wouldn't wear top off. Not if you're in world champ situation. Oh mate, trust me. I'll still be eating donuts. Okay.

Oh, Everest, eat unlimited donuts. Okay. Well, I think that's the end of the... How was your camping trip? Really fun actually. I've been limping. This is so embarrassing. Stinging nails.

No. He looks like a proper pussy. Basically, we played rounders. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, don't get your fucking paws out I caught all the top just knee sliding when we got a home run and that. Oh barefoot rounders And it's so it's honestly so painful rubbing against each other I know yeah, it's embarrassing but I forgot to put a plaster on. We ran for 200 meters got a blister It weren't even that much.

Did you hit it? I got a few. I fucking love camping. Although my homerun didn't get filmed, great. You say you love camping? Yeah, it's unreal. Yeah, it was really fun, we had really good weather. It was Jackaloo's birthday.

Yeah, it was. Well, he wasn't at, it's not his birthday till next weekend, but still. That's so weird. I went to a birthday party on the weekend, but it's next weekend. Maybe everyone's just pushing it for us. It party on the weekend, but it's next weekend. Maybe everyone's just pushing it for us. It's kind of annoying, but yeah, we had fun. It was good. I played a bit of cricket in the park as well, similar surroundings.

Well, Josh was meant to bring a cricket set and he forgot it. So fun, mate. But we bought a ball, played a lot. We love a game of one bounce. Yeah, played that as well. Big one bounce, not loser dancer drink. Do you know what? Any game with loser dancer drink falls funny. Have you done that in a while? Like play sports in a park?

No. I had done it in a while and I was like, fuck this is, and I had barefoot. Yeah, but that's why I fucked up all my feet. I thought this is lovely, this is great. This is great. Why don't I do this more? And it was great.

It's not an adult thing though, is it? Unless you organise- It is an adult thing. It's a very adult thing. I'm saying it takes a lot of organisations to get people to, it's not like when you're kids and you go, oh, do you want to go to a park? Yeah, I think the last time we did it was COVID. Exactly. It's the frequency of getting a lot of organisations to get people to... It's not like when you're kids and you go, oh, do you want to go to a park? Yeah, I think the last time we did it was COVID.

Exactly. Yeah. It's the frequency of getting a lot of people to a park and playing sports. Doesn't happen, does it? I think we were saying, oh, we're probably going to do that more. Like the camp, now we've got,

now everyone's got camping gear and it's cheap. Yeah. When you know... Was there a fee to park? Oh, you just... No, you park up, you get given your... Basically there was more than 10 of us. So we had to, Jack's missus had to sort sort ring them and basically get a special permit or whatever, but it was like 16 pound each

Not too far from glass though either was it? Yeah, showers, showers, toilets, food trucks, shop with balls and that was really nice High level camp, fucking hell You stayed there another two weeks mate, but this is called a snogging with the glass though Yeah, and they put us in the like the backfield so there's no kids and mate, we could have just got a snook in the glass though. Yeah, and they put us in the backfield so there's no kids and stuff, so we could just drink and play music at night. That sounds unreal.

It was really good. So you go Scotland wild camping, that's class. Cause you never know where you're gonna end up. You just drive through the mountains. I'd love to do the highland 500 mate. It scares me a bit. No, cause mate, you just drive there and it's like, this is a class little area.

RV or bikes. Bikes? Yeah, it's a lot, yeah. It's not cuz me you just drive it drive there. It's like a little area Bikes yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, it's fun. No RV RV to support though the Scottish Highland 500 Oh, what's happening with your stag do? Real one of the ones we're doing on this show this show ones. I don't know we don't know I know the least out of everyone. He doesn't know anything. I don't know anything. What your real one when we doing that I know the least out of everyone. He doesn't know anything. I don't know anything. What your real one when we doing that Thanks. Well, that's that's up to discretion isn't it? That's probably April next year someone well, it's not it's up to you Because you have to give the date We don't yeah any to any time between April and May next year really. Wow, that's fucking beast mode. Okay noted. Yeah Weird side track

How was your FPL trip there? Reeve rocked up late actually. He had to look after his dog. I did. Why would you add that in? What does that matter? Don't know. What's wrong with looking after your dog?

Fair play to Reeve by the way. Came on the show, came on the holiday in top form. He decided to, his first day was up, not drinking, not drinking, we all know what happens after that. Yeah, he starts drinking. He starts drinking. Woo! Do you wanna recount the tale in the?

You have to do it. Okay, right, anyway, this might already be out on someone's YouTube channel, is it? My YouTube channel. Oh, it is on your YouTube channel. But essentially, we all had budget to go for a meal and For some from the Yeah, yeah from the from the bottom. How much did you get from that?

He put it on his Twitter. So yeah, it was like a grand crazy couple hours. Yes mental. I'm a potato He did well on that actually yeah Six hours out of 12, but we respect it. Yeah. And I wasn't there. You got banned there, didn't you? Yeah, twice. I wasn't there when this was suggested,

but apparently there was some mystical figure. No, we need to go back. We have to go back. We've set the scene. Go on. So first night, we go to the steak house in the hotel. Really overpriced. Harry got food poisoning.

Worst food I've ever had. Food poisoning from what? Lobster. Wiped him out for two day, well, a day and a half, Really overpriced Harry got food poisoning worst food I've ever had food poisoning from what lobster? Wiped him out for two day one day and a half and he missed the best day of paddle and everything It was really peak and you're never so and then we're in the we're in the ice bath You love paddle I've never played by the in my life. You would love Paddle. I don't want to play that. How did you say you love Paddle with so much confidence

without when he's never played it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just have you down as a Paddle. No, I'm not woke. Anyways, we went campus and played Paddle. I saw Elliot Lee. I was on a different day. Who the fuck's that?

From Wrixom. Wrixom, he's on a podcast. Are you also there? I wasn't there for that, but I know what you mean now. Oh, he's Newcastle dad. Rob Lee, yeah. Come on, we'll get to that. Oh, he's got Rob Lee's son? I wasn't there for that, but I know what you mean now. Oh, he's Newcastle's dad. Rob Lee, yeah. Come on, we'll get Cyprus. Oh, is that Rob Lee's son?

I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do me not. Anyways, we're in the... Oh my God, I never knew that. That's actually... Sorry, did he play in America? Maybe, yeah, I think so, maybe.

Oh, sure? Yeah, oh, fucking hell, I never knew that. Played with him. No, no, no, I just remember hearing Rob Lee's son was out in America. No, sorry, I've got that wrong, it's Gary Speeds' son who was out in America. Oh well. And, erm, he's actually with Shear actually. Fucking hell.

Anyway, after a long hard day we get in the ice bath and- Shear is there? I wasn't here at this point. And we get chatting to this guy in the ice bath and like, where you staying? We're like, ah Villa Moro, he's like, oh lads you've got to try out, like, we've got- The Golden Marina. Sorry, where's Villa, Portugal Moro, he's like, oh lads you've got to try out like, we've got- The Golden Marina. Sorry, where's Villa, Portugal?

Yeah, it's like 20 minutes from Faro. And he's like, yeah, you've got to try out Golden Marina. We're like, oh what is that? He's like, it's like an all you can eat Asian buffet. And we're like, oh yeah, maybe, we'll check it out. I looked at our point of line, it's like 4.8 starts. I'm like, ooh, is this good, is it good? Fuck it, let's go Golden Marina.

Yes, and then I arrived. Yeah, and instantly vibes go up. Yeah, everyone's happy, there's another member of the group. I've replaced Harry. Who was there, who was there? So everyone that went, us two, Harry, Chris, Joel, Will, Ethan, Randy and Arthur. And me.

You're part of the community. That's the nine that went. So Cal, Josh and JJ didn't come with us. Anyway, we go to Golden Marina. It's absolutely insane. It's genuinely the most intense, incredible place, value for money. 18 euros, 90 for unlimited buffet.

For literally all you can eat. I don't know what's going on, scam or something. Each dish on the menu, thousands of them, they're all about 10 to 12 euros each. Yeah. Make that make sense. If you have to eat two dishes, you make your money back. But they charge you seven euros if you don't complete a dish.

So people are getting loads of stuff and then there's like a pile up of things in the middle that everyone has to just like tuck in. You've got to write on post-it notes. Yeah, we're like, it's a pile up of things in the middle that everyone has to just tuck in. You've got to write on post-it notes. Yeah, it's a coordinated attack to try and finish these meals. I don't know how you felt, but as soon as you send off the post-it notes, fucking hell, the game begins. Yeah, too soon.

Wait, so what food is it? It was... Chinese? It was Chinese and it was Japanese. Yeah. But actually, we realised just to stick with the Chinese. Yeah, yeah. You don't like Chinese, do you?

Don't like either? What? It's like chicken satay of the Chinese. Yeah. You don't like Chinese? Don't like either. What? What? It's like chicken satay, salt and pepper chicken. You don't like Chinese? I don't, I've never experienced it. It's not my go to, I can eat it.

It's not my go to at all. You're weird, so good. Indians the boys. Right, anyway. We- You like Indian boys? It was like, it felt like a race, didn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was genuinely quite intense. The amount of plates that they were bringing out, how quickly it was getting ordered. Because you wrote it on a sticky note, handed it over, and then in like two, three seconds' time, they were just bringing plates of food over. Who were the goats or the shovelers? Who was going to go? Randy did well. Me, you, Randy, Joel, and Ethan,

I think, were the five big hitters. They would have guessed any of them. Arthur was on one dish for the whole night. This is where Randy came into his own. He was like Superman at the end. And we were like, Randy, please clean this up. He's like, I got you boys. Went and went and either had a pill or threw up,

came back, finished everything up. We were like, fucking unbelievable performance. Anyway, Arthur or you, I can't remember who it was, on the first night bought baby Guinness's and I didn't want mine and Harry wasn't here. So there were two spare. Everyone went, oh, thanks for coming. I'll go, yeah, great trip.

Drink, two spare on the table. Remember this, right? There's a spinny table in the middle. That's how everyone's passing the food around. So you spin it around, you take your plate, blah, blah, blah, eat your food in front of you. These two baby Guinnesses are circumnavigating the table constantly.

And we were playing the 21 drinking game, you know, 1, 2, 3, skips a go, 1, 2, 3, like that kind of vibe and I said to Theo, genuinely mate, I reckon we can get these with a soy sauce shot. It looks so much like a very beginners, it's gonna happen. Yeah, it's one of those that's gonna sound horrendously shit but if you were there, oh my god, because it's like two hours into building up, he pulls out a soy sauce shot, someone loses the first one. How would they not see that it's got no white? I had a talent for the pouring.

Didn't overfill, didn't underfill. You wouldn't look too far into it because someone's finished that, the first of the two baby guinnesses that are available, playing the game of 21, we've slipped another one back onto the table, so there's two going round again. Yeah, for a group of drunk people, they don't have a go for it. And there's a little bit of baby Guinness left in the shot, so there's a little bit

of foam on top. Right. A little bit. Ethan loses. Arthur's in the toilet. Arthur goes to the toilet very important. Yeah, Arthur goes to the toilet, Ethan loses, picks it up, boom, all the way down to his stomach and then he gets straight back up into the thing.

Everyone erupts, it is going crazy. We froze up on the time. No, no, straight back into the glass. He just like spits everything back. It was deep. Genuinely like fully swallowed and then he's brought it all the way fully back and he's coughing away.

He can't see like his eyes are bleeding. He's red all over. Everyone's going crazy screaming. I stand up going, oh my god Also I saw comments on my video saying, yeah look at you brits doing us a bad subject Yeah there's a video of it Not of that one This was such a, like the people next to us were 16 lads like 50 year old blokes loving it The staff

They're all on golf trips, everyone there is on golf trips Yeah, the staff were absolutely crying with laughter They're all on golf trips. Everyone there is on that. The staff found it so funny. Yeah, the staff were absolutely crying with laughter. Anyway, Arthur's in the toilet. Other baby Guinness shot gets consumed at some point anyway. And we were like, we ain't got a clue, mate. We'll get him again. Put it back on the table, has no idea. We spend, I'd shit you not, the next five games of 21. Joel and Will next

to each other, you've got Arthur here, I'm the other side. We're trying to, because obviously you're trying to get onto him. We're going to skip. We spend five games trying to get him. Everyone's staring at him. We changed the rules, so in those five games we ever lost just did like a sip of their drink. Yeah. So it wasn't consume the shot. Oh my God. And then the one point that we got him, it flipped all the way back around. He wasn't going to do it, he was like looking at his thing going, oh what's going on here? And then Joel goes, alright, let's go! And he's like, we like to drink with our fa- and then he does it, and it's honestly the most pussy shit I've ever seen. He sips the soy sauce shot and then he goes bleh. It just starts dribbling out of his mouth.

Goes all over the table, all over the floor. Everyone's erupting with laughter again. It's like, oh my God, we've done it boys. Two out of the eight. We got 25% of the group. It was actually scenes. Because I put these sheets. You didn't have to be there though.

I realised that. That does sound funny. But the problem was, for the rest of the trip, everyone, we went back to Golden Marina both nights. No, we went there three times. We went there every night of the trip. I would be like that with faces though. I would say that.

It's good luck. If you ever go to Villamora, you've got to go Golden Marina. It will be the best night of your life. The problem was Harry didn't come with us the first night. So the second night he's heard about all these stories and how much of a great time we had, how cheap it was. You got like bonbons at the end,

like these ice cream bonbons. They were absolutely unreal. It's a Magnum Bonbon tubs. Yeah, have you not seen them? Oh my God. Anyway, and Harry was like, we've got to go there. So the second night was pretty much for Harry. And then the third night was like,

we've just had a yacht day. We looked around and we're like, boys, we've got to complete the trifecta. We've got to go back. And it ended up being just as shit as the other two nights. By shit. By shit. But like, you know, like incredible shit.

Oh, incredible shit. Good shit you want. Yeah. I will say, bottom of the barrel, dirty Chinese food. I will say, like, I think we had a discussion of this after I think maybe the second night or the first night. That first night, I put it like top three dinners of my life. It was eventful. It was so funny as well. I know it sounds a. That first night, I put it like top three dinners of my life. It was eventful.

It was so funny as well. I know it sounds a lot. It doesn't. Top three dinners of my life. How many did you remember though? Your top three dinners. He updated so frequently. No, no, he-

Whatever his last meal was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever the most recent thing he's eaten is. Best thing he's ever eaten. He hasn't eaten every three dinners. Would you not say that's top three of your life? Objectively, no. Oh.

It was an amazing dinner and it was great. Really? That's like an overall dinner experience. Really? As an experience, it's probably top 10, yeah. He's had a lot of dinners in his life. Name nine more. Anniversary.

You can't jump off my head. My anniversary. Anniversary. That's another one. Yeah, one I had when you were here. Yeah. It makes me think, doesn't it? Eaton... We should go.

Eaton misses his arse. We should go again. If you watch my vlog though, you can see it all, the events all unfold. It was a really good trip to. You should watch the video, it's a really good video. Shame, shame. I skimmed through it, I haven't seen it all yet. What the fuck?

I was going out. Shall we talk about the new feature? New feature! I've got one. I've got a... Oh shit, I'm not asking for a one. We're bringing in a new feature. New feature! I've got one. I've got a... Oh, shit, I'm not asking for one. We're bringing in a new feature.

It's kind of similar to what we used to do with me, but I don't always have... This is like room tonneau one, wouldn't it? Yeah. But we've all got it. So we've got the Krabby Corner, where each week, one of us or multiple of us will tell you something we're Krabby about, and then we will discuss it

Don't start with me. I have one Okay, right. He's been waiting for this. No, I mean it just it's a reoccurring thing because where I live There's but there's like as you come out it's two lanes into one and obviously filter lanes You just go one by one, like the right and left. The amount of fucking busy fuckers who don't, who like, scoot up to not let you in. Even like, say, say like they're already there on the left

as it's filtering and then like you come once, like stationary, and then you come to like, take your place behind the car in front naturally, and they're like, budging up, I'm not letting you in, like you're not, what do you mean let me in? It's a filter lane you fucking... You know what, that actually, that sort of like, that behaviour, you know that jarring behaviour that sort of... Just like... Bad drivers, mate.

It made me think about that lady at Portugal in the paddle thing, do you remember this? Were you there at that point? Oh, apparently he screamed at an old lady. I didn't scream. Ohhhhhhhhhh. He wasn old lady. And it screamed. Oh, cancel him. She was in her 40s and she was a bitch. Oh, clip it. Go on.

And why did you make her cry? Is this the one where she tried to get off the court even though you booked the court? Oh, mate. But this is our court. We were here first. That's literally not what happened. Ah, like we're golf. We've got your hair. So why are they not letting us in?

It's because you're saying it loudly, Theo. First of all, it was Chris who started it actually. Oh yeah, but he's a bit hard to hear. It's because it's so small. Yeah. Anyways, we booked the paddle court like one till three and will it... Oh, you want to learn? No, no, no, no. It's not what you think at all. Is this your crappy point? I can't wait to find a way to blame him for this. She was just so just like...

No, what was the problem? Tell us what happened. I think there's about 10 paddle courts and we put these, this court, okay? Any reason in particular that court or are they all the same? They're all the same. Okay. They're all outdoors. Are you sure that was your court? Yes.

Anyway, we're the only ones there. We're the only court, right? All the other nine courts are empty. These two women come down, they come storming down. They go, they just stand there hovering. I assume they were starving. At three o'clock. Were they starving?

No, no, this is like, I want to say two, quarter past two. All right. I think maybe two o'clock. We'll call it, I hope mid-way through our session, three o'clock. And then hovering,, mid-way through our session. Okay. And then hovering and we're like, what's going on? And Chris is like, oh, can I help you?

And they're like, yeah, you're on our court. And instantly we're like looking around like. Yeah, that is busy. There's like nine empty courts here. We're the only ones said like, yeah, you're on our court. And I'm like, oh no, we got moved onto this court by the people. I think you can do,

I think you'll probably be in one of these empty ones. Yeah, just take the empty I think you've probably been one of these empty ones. Yeah, just take the empty one that you've probably been reassigned to. Yeah. And they were like, ha! No, this is our court. Oh no, I think it's... Are they English? Oh yeah.

And then, and then, and then I was like, oh, you can just go check at reception and I'm sure they'll give you your court note. Oh! We're going to go check, we're going to go sort this, are we? And I'm like, what? I'm with them. And then they're like, oh, we have to sort this. He just presumed and told me to go sort it

when my court says it's the one you're on. I'm there and I'm like, it's not your turn. And they were like, yeah, you're on that court. And then they went for the empty court next door and they were fuming up. That was it? That's it. So you just shout at these old ladies over there.

I just thought like, what are these stupid people? The Krabby Corner is Karen's, is it? There's no reason to start swearing at them. Why are they, no one swore at them, we don't matter. Yeah, but as the younger gentlemen and the men in this situation, you should have gone, do you know what ladies, have this court and we'll move across. One of the nine-es.

I'm sure you're regulars here, you know. In that situation, do you want to think like, surely you've got better things to be doing, just go on then. They probably, yeah, we'll live across there. I'm sure you're regulars here, you know? In that situation, do you want to think like, surely you've got better things to be doing? Just go on them. They probably don't, mate. There's nine empty courts. Yeah, they're probably like, yeah, people like that, it's just, they're not used to anyone saying no to them.

This is our number court. Have you got one? And also, FYI, they were, they came to the wrong court. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's like people on trains, I hate it. They need to scrap fucking normal seats on trains. I fucking, no, but I, But it's like that, this fucking 50 empty seat.

You're telling me I'm in your seat. Fucking ball your head now. Okay. It was just like, go away. Just leave us alone. Shoo. Is that how you said it? Go away.

Welcome to Shoo. No, I didn't, I thought it. Who was there? All of us. Were you there? No. How come it was only you who had to speak up? Are you like the alpha?

I was like the protector. I don't think I was playing at that point. But Chris needed some help. He's the protector of the god. But you were just... Chris was getting overwhelmed by the situation. You were the ref. I actually think everyone was in shock

that they were even like talking to us like that. Like do you know who I am? Sort of thing. No, they were just in shock that... No, because everyone's in shock. They were like, they were just looking around like at the nine empty courts. Yeah. It's just a bit like...

That would be frustrating, but swearing and shouting at old women is not on here. You shouldn't have threw water at them either, really. Speaking of, that's my Krabby Corner. You throwing water? them either, really. Speaking of, that's my crabby corner. You throw on water? No, not quite. My crabby corner is people that, after having intense sessions on alcohol or whatever, leave their shower head on, pointing at their bathroom floor for three hours and expect the downstairs flat of next door to sort out the entire building's worth of flats getting flooded.

Sounds really specific. I must admit though, that is shoddy build work for that to affect the whole building. Lot of water. Both sides. Both sides. Yeah, they're just cowboy-berry. What? Did they say sorry? The fuck? I think they went back to bed.

Did you not hit them? Who's asleep at midday? That's what I said. I think they went back to bed. Do you know why he needed? He needed Theo to back them up. They could be shift workers though. Yeah. You need a Theo to go hit them? Who's asleep at midday? That's what I said. I think they were on a stretch mate. Do you know why he needed? He needed Theo to back them up. They could be shift workers though. Yeah.

You need a Theo to go tell them. They could be, but I also think that they just went on a night. They were on a shift alright. Oh they were gone. They were on a fucking shift. You should have been there and just to fucking rip into them. Did you see that video of the other guys? Yeah so mine is basically just negligence causing thousands of pounds worth of water

damage for six other flats in there. I think you need to just get over that to be honest. Also, Lewis, sorry to go back. Like, the way you're acting right now, how would you react if that happened to you? You know what I'm saying? He needed you. No, no, in the court, in the paddle court. How would that react? As opposed to the fucking water damage in your own flat? Yeah, that's normal.

You can react to that. He's not in a conflict. Okay, but how would you react if the paddle could hit me? So you're the lady, okay, and you're saying, we're on your court. We're on your court, get off there. I look at the seat, I'm like, oh, actually, yeah, sorry, I read this as a nine, as a six, I'm over there. Because I imagine that's actually what happened. You little cuck. I think he was reading his court the wrong way around.

You were actually on the wrong court. So you pretend to be wrong. No, I'm saying you were wrong. I'm saying you were on the wrong court. No, no to be wrong? No, I'm saying you were wrong. I'm saying you were on the wrong court. No, no, they were in the right. No, in the right. The court was re-booked for these women that it didn't realize. Yeah.

I was there in the meetings. You were on court six. But I can't imagine you doing that, like, pretend, you panic. No, no, I'll... If you're wrong. No, no, I know what it's like. If I go, oh, so sorry, I'll double check, but you could have my paddle as well. No, if I was in the... it would have been more of the same, but like, oh, so sorry, I'll double check, but you can have my paddle as well. No, if I was in the position, it would have been more of the same, but like,

like you would have, you would have to stay there till like the end time. Even if you want to leave earlier, just to make a point of them. My reaction would have been like, say you were bored of playing a half to, but you had it to three, you would have to make sure you stayed to three just to fucking like spite them. I was a bit more, more, more would have been, I think you don't understand. Joking aside, more would have been dependent on how they spoke to me. Oh, they came with an attitude as well. If they were then, yeah, I'd tell them to go and walk away. They'd wanted, I think they wanted, you know what it was, I think because they saw like eight lads.

No, but if they'd have come over, genuinely, if they'd have come over and been like, oh, I think you're on our court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I honestly might have gone, oh yeah, no problem, we'll go over there. 100%, but they came over like if you yeah if you if you if you look like start chirping off fucking chair I think they saw eight lads and we'll just thought like we'll maybe it was like maybe it was like a star fucker Paul yeah Yeah, then they went on the next one started in drills. Yeah, like training. Like, like, yeah. They were lovely people training over there. Yeah. Nah, you should have kept accidentally hitting balls. Sorry, why is that so funny?

I was like, why are they fucking running drills on holiday? They might not be on holiday, they might live there. Yeah, I think they do live there. Okay, I guess. In Lewis' defense. In my head they were like, picking, they had a little ball fire out and they were like, training and, I don't know. No they were practicing like the...

That one. Just play, you know what I mean? You don't run in drills. Oh is that what you just said? Just play. Stop fucking... Stop fucking playing about me. Stop fucking playing.

Stop trying to improve. Yeah, stop practicing and trying to better yourself. God, just play. Just play. Just play. Grow. I think that was the attitude which was what bugged me. It's just like, just treat everyone the same.

Yeah and you just don't stand for shit do you? I don't. Send a message to them if they're watching right now until that comes out. Send a message to them. Send a message to them. Send a message to them. Send a message to them. Just play. Just play. I think that was the attitude which bugged me. It's just like, just treat everyone the same. Yeah, and you just don't stand for shit, do you? Send a message to them if they're watching right now, into that camera. Just because we're young doesn't mean we're possibly not young. Firstly, you probably looked older than them.

If we've been, I mean. Hello there, old man! You can't leave the fucker back. You're the student of the hardcoreest old fellow. Just because we look young,, very... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Can you assume you make an ass out of you and me and them? Yeah, I'll make an ass out of me. Respect your elders. Respect your elders? I do respect my elders. Speak to them with respect and don't bring age into it. My lovely ladies, next time just go to the court you're assigned. Were they any good?

Yeah. A paddle. I'll tell you who was shit, a paddle. I'll tell you who was shit, a paddle. Me. Oh yeah, he was really bad. Fucking hell. That's the worst I've seen him play.

Oh, out of rotter. Genuinely horrendous. I think Paddle's like the... What did you say? You weren't there? I was there on day two. Is Paddle like the... No other stories, I don't know. Isn't the Paddle like the...

They played two days in a row. It's like a... And this is not even taking things into account, but it's like a rich person's sport, isn't it? It's like I see it was like 68 quid to play. Is he? 68 quid to play. 58 quid? 60, 80 quid to play. Fucking hell.

58 quid. 60 to 80 quid to play. If you're in London. What is there no like, is there no like public courts like tennis? You pay, no you- Rich person's sport. You pay per person, so it's like 20 quid each or 15 quid each, but it is expensive.

Which means how many there is? There's four people every time. I think- You don't have one on one? Not really, no. You don't have one-on-one paddle Not really. You can there are smaller courts for it's a doubles game. It's a double game TV Yeah, yeah, primarily. Well, if you don't have any friends, maybe I'm on 10 to 2 small for one million against one million

I think in Spain or Italy, which is now like the second biggest per person passing in Spain And yeah, I probably do have three courts like it's not in England The tennis is just better just go play tennis. Oh No, that's what put it off. We played tennis an hour before paddle it fucked me up. I Was like, holy shit. I'm shit as well. Did you have an oldie or a fucking sports day? I know they did have a sports day genuinely. I don't even know You would love it. Yeah, it was a full fitness day. Not the paddle story Oh, did you know it was in fucking that area though? Who's playing you saw? Yeah, it was a full fitness day. Not the paddle stuff. Oh, did you know who was in fucking that area though? Who's plane you saw?

Yeah, Michael Jordan. It was Jordan Jett. Saw his private jet. Yeah, I actually saw a video of him walking into some bar. Yeah, Valet de Lobo, yeah. I think he played for like a day and a half in terms of rounds and then went home. He loves golf though.

Yeah, he does. Well, he's golf haven there isn't he? We got sucked into the hole didn't he? During space jam. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, didn't he? During space jam. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Right. What we got here? We got some would you rathers sent in by you. Ladies and gentlemen, we have been sent in

some would you rather questions from you guys. So if you want to carry on sending this. Say, would you rather. Hey. Hey guys. Hey guys. Are you a YouTuber? Are you a YouTuber? Say, would you rather, and then that's the question. So tell them to keep suggesting stuff in

because this part of the pod is well technically done that now it's that was in the pod. Would you send us in some would you rather and make them dirty. Would you rather lick your mate's sloppy toe or sweaty armpit after a big workout? What's a sloppy toe? Question, question, question.

And that is from Maddox. Question, so the sloppy toe, does that mean it's been licked already by someone else? Or why is it sloppy? Could be sweaty? After a workout. Uh, the toe. Definitely the toe.

A hairy armpit. Nah. Tom Shaves is. Nah, armpit. I'll lick the armpit. I'll be your mikes in the way. Yeah, I'm not really a foot person. I'm licking the armpit like the foot stinks.

I don't like the idea of it. Nah, I'll do the toe, thanks. can't be your mic's in the way. Yeah, I'm not really a foot person. I'm licking the armpit like the foot stinks. I don't like the idea of... No, I'll do the toe, thanks. Next. Would you rather discover one mysterious truth about the universe or one about yourself from Harry? Oh, definitely the universe. 100% the universe. Definitely the universe.

Yeah. What's the mysterious truth about yourself? What if it's like that's your... What if the universe one's like a bit shit though? They give you a shit one instead of like the answer. What are you going to find out about yourself that's already joking around? What's that thing really in every fight? It's an hypothetical. It's a question bit shit though. They give you a shit one instead of like the answer. What are you going to find out about yourself? What's that been written in every fight? It's an hypothetical.

It's a question, you know. You should definitely be on the side of mysterious truth. Out of everyone here, you should definitely be on the side of mysterious truth. Yeah, I'm definitely on universe. I'd go universe. Would you rather shag AB or Rota Shaw? Rota Shaw. From Chloe?

I'd go with Rota Shaw because I don't know that well. I think Harry would be really loving. I think would be really loving and he'd make me breakfast. No he wouldn't. I think he would. I think Harry would love it up the arse. He wouldn't even look at you. Yeah I'd go with Harry I reckon. He wouldn't even want to look you in the eyes.

He'd be doggy? He'd be weird and like. I know but like he'd be weird and all. Harry's very tactile at certain points so. Me and Harry would have a good relationship. What's the problem with that? You're not having a relationship you're shagging them. Yeah but you don't know where it's going to go. Harry's very tactile at certain points. So me and Harry would have a good relationship. What's the problem with that? Would it really? You're not having a relationship.

You're shagging him. Yeah, but you don't know where it's going to go. I, I, I, I, I, I, I can see that I be a friend. So I don't, I think that would be weird. I don't know. No, I don't know. Harry really met him like twice. Does that make it easier or not?

Yeah, because then I won't see him again. His arse would jiggle. Like all my shags, am I right? His arse would jiggle as well. Well you've shagged him. I would shag Harry. What do you mean His arse would jiggle. Like all my shags, am I right? His arse would jiggle as well. Well, you dragged him. I would have shrugged Harry. You mean his arse would jiggle? He's got a bit of both.

His arse. A B don't do legs, does he? Yeah, that's true. He's got twig legs. That is true. I imagine A B as well, throwing out his cut-phrases mid-shag. It would be a bit of a...

You would be throwing out his catchphrases. Yeah. I feel it. Your family. Say your family again. Your family. By the way, at the end of this, I've got a great, not would you rather, but it's a good question.

Okay, yeah. Would you rather have permanent What's It fingers or every time you're aroused, alarm bells go off for everyone to hear from. Clarky. It has to be What's It fingers. Alarm bells? You want me to do it?

You want me to do it? Yeah, presume so. You want me to be able to do anything with your fingers. Is that from George Clark? Suck it. No. Permanent What's It fingers. Yeah, alarm bells. Suck, suck, suck. Lovely. No, I don so. You'd be able to do anything with your fingers. Is that from George Carp? Suck it. No. Permanent Watchers. Yeah, alarm bells.

Suck, suck, suck. Lovely. No, I don't like bells. Nonstop forever. Easy fingers. Yeah, but you can taste it forever. Imagine a night out on the plane. Ding, ding, ding.

Horny, horny. That'd be awful. Imagine a night out and it's like, it's shot time. How? What the fuck was that? Why did you do that? What, what, what, what, what to that? What was that supposed to be?

I don't even understand the joke Wait, is he referring to like Like the Sambuca alarm I thought you were referring to like when you get horny you want people to do shots So like... No, but when an alarm goes off in the middle of a club or something Stop talking, stop talking You're a weird guy, you're a weird guy

You need to stop talking, seriously You might end up in jail, buddy Yeah, definitely the alarm bells. I don't really care if people know I've got a bone. I don't get horny. Cody's a lucky girl. You gotta say, would you rather if you're gonna do it for the clip? Would you rather eat a spoonful of shit every day or smell like shit for the rest of your life?

You gotta eat shit. You gotta just deal with it that day. It's gonna be a bad day. Who's shit is it? I think after a while you just get used to the fact doing it. Does that make a difference? If it's your own shit it's a bit better. How big's the spoon? If it's Charlie's shit. Because you can choose what you eat. That's a better question. I'll be the spoon. And it's proven. If it's your shit you can decide what you're going to eat. Like what would you eat the day that you knew what you had to eat that spoonful of shit? Like what would you eat? I don't know. Yeah, something like celery.

Yeah, water based. No, you don't want water based because then it'll be watery. Hey! Hey! It's like juice. That's one of the worst things you've ever said. I'd eat a load of hay. Hey! Would you rather shit on that? No, I'd be a load of hi

Would you rather shit on the appointed come okay, would you? Yeah, my own come or yours Would you rather come every time you sneeze or sneeze every time you come from every time you come from the ice and in that one Yes, sneeze every time you come from Ollie. Sneeze every time you come. Apparently I sent in that one. Sneeze every time you come, definitely. Yeah, definitely. What? Why are you looking at me? You missed one, you missed one. Yeah, I was just transitioning over. Would you rather shit a pineapple or piss a grape? Piss a grape. Pineapple. You've got to get the grape out. Piss a grape mate. Oh, is that coming out your arse? Oh no, that would hurt so much. Sorry, your arse would be so big for so long after that. It already is.

It would feel kind of good on the way out though. I actually think it probably could come out. Oh, that pot. Look, I saw the inside of it. Do you know how big a pineapple is, mate? Could be a baby, Grape. Also, if the pineapple came spiky side first, that is horrendous.

No, the thing is, you're not only cutting everything, but as it gets bigger, it's got even more. You piss out kidney stones as well though, don't you? Which are like the size of grips. Exactly, so that is possible. And it's delightful like your- Yeah, you piss them out. Oh, I hate this conversation.

Oh, I'm like- Oh, you love it. It's right up your street. Not knobs, I'm not restuffing knobs, as much as we think. Oh, okay, specifically for me and Tom, would you rather wake up to find you've shagged Lewis or Theo from Jay Cartwright?

It's gotta be me, innit? Theo. No, sorry, Lewis. What? Why do you want it to be you? Yeah, I think if I wake up and shagged Lewis, it's a lot easier to process. Yeah, because we could...

I've known Theo way longer, very well. I could blackmail him. And we'd just ruin our relationship. Theo would probably actually like try and have a relationship with me. Well, yeah. He wouldn't have acknowledged it. He'd just ask you what you want from him.

What did last night actually mean? He'd have you sack him off. Is that what you're saying? No, I just know that I've banged him at that point. It'd just be like when I banged him. You'd own him. It's like dominance. Right, and then is this for me and Reeve as well?

I think so. Would you rather Theo sleep with your partner or sleep with Lewis? I think Theo sleep with Lewis. Yeah, I'd happily let him sleep with Lewis. Yeah. That's an easy one. So I've got a question for you all.

Go on then. I don't know where I saw this the other day, probably ticked off. Oh, yeah. If you could have, you've got five liquids you could use. Have we not done this on the show already? We've done this already. No.

Oh, I've done it so many times. So you get five liquids for each finger. Where do we do this? I've done it in so many groups. If an unlimited amount of liquid can spur out of each finger, what do you choose? Milk, water, Pepsi Max. And then-

Pepsi Max? Yeah. And then some sort of sauce, I reckon, like ketchup. Pepsi Max? No, cause it'll get crusty on the top. I'd go petrol. I don't think, yeah. Or electric car, mate.

What? Go electric car, instead of petrol. It's waste, you're not, mate. No, you don't get tax relief on them, no more. Petrol or diesel, whichever, I don't know. Are you practicing now? Lager. Water. Oh, I don't know. Are you practicing now? Lager, water. Oh, that's so weird.

That's weird, that's so weird. I've got to have milk. Milk's got to be there. Nah, because milk's got to have milk. I think it's either you've got water, nor piss. Yeah, it's sexual, mate. Why?

Hasn't everyone seen chocolate? It doesn't mean you can't have milk normally. Yeah, but you can have a tea or coffee or... Yeah, but that's a waste. The coffee would hurt. No, you make the coffee with the milk. Oh, tea, yeah, I'd have tea. I don't match a cup of tea.

So you're having a black tea? The perfect cup of tea already mixed. No, no, no, no, no. You can choose the liquor, you can choose what you want, mate. No, you can't do that. And it'll also be too hot. Shut up. And then...

You can have your cereal. Come. Are you just not picking piss? No, I just piss out my knob. What the fuck did you just say? Have you not seen a scary movie where they piss out the finger? You're a weird-

You're telling me you don't wanna go- You tell me you don't wanna go- Nothing that's so irrelevant. You tell me you can't say that. So say you're outright at a festival and you wanna to piss, you can't get your knob out. But Lewis, that's not the question.

You can't get your knob out anyway. What liquids would you keep? Oh, and then- Yeah, you keep piss, mate. Coca-Cola, because then you can just sell it. That's what I say, Coke's your most. No, you're being- I'm not drinking, I'm not gonna sell it.

I'm not gonna buy your coke finger. Oh, roll on up, roll on up, one pound Coca-Cola. It's for everyone. Are you generally not having ak finger. Oh, rolling up, rolling up one pound Coca-Cola. It's for everyone. Are you generally not having a piss finger? No, I just- Why can you stop asking that? Why is that, if you're out in public and you want to piss, why are you getting so angry?

Because you can't piss out your finger. No, that isn't what the question is. The question isn't that. You can choose a liquid that- You said five. It's an unlimited amount of liquid coming out. Yeah, yeah. You still have to piss.

Yeah, you have a superpower. You could choose, like, you could hold that thing. So if I piss out of the finger. Stop saying pissing out your finger. It's not relieving the bladder. No. Okay, now we're on the same page. You just asked for pissing your finger.

Yeah, you just reduced him piss for no reason, mate. No, because, well, it'd still be useful in some cases. But I'm saying, if you, I was just thinking like, if a festival, I was thinking at a festival, it would like, if you need a sneaky piss. And how often is that? Or if you're in a car journey, I need a piss, I'll just hand you the bottle. Yeah, because you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't,

you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can who would like if you need a sneaky piss. And how often is that? Or if you're in a car journey, I need a piss, I'll just be handed a bottle. Out the window. You're telling me that's not good. Also, even if it's not from a bladder, you piss me off. Keep going, you'll get piss on you. Piss me off, I'll piss on you. You'd probably use it on your pinky. You wouldn't use use the main ones.

So you've got what? Mayonnaise, piss. Piss. Tomato sauce would get crusty, so probably is water. No, it's not. Beer, milk. Stop shouting at me when I give you my answers. Every hypothetical thing you try and make real.

Because I'm putting myself in a real scenario. If I'm too ticking the sauce out, it would be sticking on the tip. Yeah, but all right, fine. Your finger then smells, then your finger then smells like stale beer. Thing is, like you have to be hyper vertical question and have to put a real scenario.

He's got petrol coming out and it's not a burn his finger like. Your fingers, you're gonna smell a stale beer, which is disgusting. What are you picking? I'm picking probably water. Yeah. Electrolytes.

Yeah. Huh? Electrolytes. No, cause you just add that to the water, don't you? Are you being silly? How's that, how's that silly? You are being silly. Electrolytes aren't liquid. You asked for a pistol. Electrolytes aren't liquid.

Where you pick my fingers. Electrolytes aren't liquid. Yeah, they're not. It's sodium, potassium, magnesium. Oh, it's powdered. It's not, when you mix it together, he had the perfect cup of tea. So you can't be saying that. You got petrol?

Petrol's a mixture of all sorts of stuff. That is the point. It's an electrolyte on a liquid. It is, when you have it. You mix it with water. I want already mixed electrolytes. That's not fair. That's what he wants.

No, you said, you said electrolyte. Electrolytes. I don't know what's wrong with this. I still think, that'd be like me saying a tea bag or didn't I say the perfect cup of tea. Right, right, you know what, blood. The petrol's full of loads of stuff. I wanna keep blood.

That could be life-saving. That could be life-saving. You are full of blood. Unlimited blood, go to the hospital, you're saving lives, put it in a bag, package that up, you're saving lives. Yeah. What blood type are you? What blood type Now what? Now what? Now what?

What blood type are you? What blood type are you? I'll get all plus. Yeah, save your life mate. Now what? Do you know what? You're welcome. Give me more.

You're welcome. Or cum, so then you can just do loads of cum donations. Exactly. Now you think like a business man. No, you're not. Now that. No, the petrol's more business idea. This is so triggered.

I don't know. I'm passionate. You said a kind of a tomato sauce. You're passionate about having food. My logic of tomato sauce is food. I'll tell you what, it's not my business idea. It feels so triggered. I don't know. I'm passionate. You said I can't have a tomato sauce. You're passionate about having? My logic on tomato sauce is wrong. I tell you what, it's not a real idea, pal. Yeah, wait. Way out your dick.

He's passionate about pissing and coming out his fingers. You're a weirdo. The tomato sauce would get crusty in a real life situation. And yet, you're coming out of your fingers and you've said, yeah, but the tomato sauce wouldn't get crusty. It's not real life. You have to put yourself in a real life. If you're going to answer correctly, you have to imagine it is real life.

Why would you have beer? It's an hypothetical question that isn't real. For me to answer honestly, I have... Why would you have beer? Because... But your fingers are going to smell of crusty beer, mate. It'll get warm. It'll get warm.

It won't get crusty. It's stale beer. That's a good question. It's not called beer. Yes, it comes out exactly how you want it. Okay Yeah, I don't feel your things gonna smell a stale beer. No about piss. You can watch that He's a crusty No, you can live it off like this Lewis. It's a hypothetical situation where no matter what happens. It doesn't affect anything

It's all perfect. Why are you pouring it to speak five liquid my more to the point? Why are you pouring the fucking beer in a glass if his children's go out? Then you know how much you're drinking. Drink responsibly. Oh, okay. I don't think I'd still do it in a glass. Yeah, you can't be like, ahhh. That's weird. It's the same equipment.

You don't know how much you've had? Yeah. Exactly. No, but that's bad. You should drink responsibly. I'll just be there all right. I'd definitely water a milk. I'd go milk and Pepsi Max at the same time.

I like cereal. Go sauce, dude. Yeah, I know, but you can just buy milk. Imagine drinking your own milk. No, these liquids don't exist. You're getting cow milk from your own finger. I thought it was these liquids don't exist. Yeah, I thought they were out of circulation.

Yeah, everything does no liquid. Oh, I was still sticked. Yeah, because I've got a perfect cup of tea, it's fine. That doesn't look like it's bullshit. I can't have the perfect cup. If I've got water and milk, I can make a coffee, so I'm fine. Yeah. I've got water and milk. Can you choose the heat setting I'm fine. Yep. I've got water and milk.

Can you choose the heat setting on the water? Oh my god. That is a good question. By the way, that's a fucking good question. You can do whatever you want. Thank you for answering the question. Hot water. Cold water.

There you go. That's good. Even if you couldn't, you pour the water in the kettle. Ah yeah, kettles still exist. Wait, no, yeah, I don't think you should have... I thought you meant... Yeah, I'm like, is it hot or cold? No, no, but you can't change it. Yeah. You choose it, but you can think you should have cold water. I thought you meant hot. Yeah, I'm like, is it hot or cold? No, no, but yeah, but you can't change it.

Yeah. You choose it, but you can't change it. Cold water. Cold water, yeah. Cold water, it has to be. Yeah, but then you'd freeze. It's better, cause it would burn coming out. Yeah.

And it would burn before you say it. Well, what I could do is I could have like coffee on this one and then cold water here. I could just like, put it on. I think I would choose lager. I think I would, yeah, cause you cannot. Yeah, you're a lager. You choose pub.

You never come to the pub, you can't keep doing this. No, you could just choose an alcohol from your finger, like a tequila or something. No, but I drink. Jesus. I drink beer. Tequila finger. Yeah.

Open up. Oh, you could do the Siren again. Yeah. Oh, I can't now. The tequila. I think I might choose Fanta Orange. Oh my God. You're not having a source in that. I'm sorry, Pepsi Max is fine, but Fanta Orange. Oh my God. You're not having a source in that?

I was like him, Pepsi Max is fine, but Fanta Orange, oh my God. Yeah, because anything I said, you care about. That's a good shot. Look at you. You don't pay your energy. What are you doing? Anything I say, you're like, oh, but anything he says, you're like, oh yeah, great. Yeah, do you know why?

Because he supported and heard me out. You just shout me down and said I was wrong. You can still piss out your dick. I'd choose piss because it would come out your bladder. It would. If you're choosing the perfect cup of tea, I'm choosing piss from my bladder mate. That's how it works. That's what way. I'm going for... That is a waste of a finger. I've got one more but I don't know why. It's not at all. I'd go water the perfect cup of tea, lager, petrol

and... Petrol, you don't't have to pay for petrol every year. And you can sell it, and then you're like the only owner. And also petrol doesn't exist. So you're the only one with petrol. So you're basically the only owner. Oh, I see what you're saying there, yeah. You basically become... No, surely everyone in the world gets the same fingers.

And then maybe... The Perfect Gin and tonic. Oh, so neat. Two out of five. Picking the perfect drinks. That's two drinks. No sauce, man. No sauce.

Oh, shit, yeah, sorry, hot sauce. Some hot, some hot, like, Ancona hot sauce. I think I might replace petrol with ketchup. Yeah, ketchup's gotta be on the board. No petrol. Can you stop talking? Yeah, so I can go with letchip, but no ketchup. There's no ketchup in the world.

I said this. No ketchup in the world. Yeah, exactly. I could easily live my life without ketchup. But gin and tonic, God forbid. I've changed it for hot sauce. Well, yeah. So you're the same as me, but I'm ketchup, you're hot sauce. Yeah, but you can live with that ketchup.

Let us know what you'd pick us up. Ketchup goes with more things than hot sauce now. Hot sauce goes with everything, mate. You can have it with toast. What? I had that the other day, but with some toast. I thought, you know what? You're weird.

Pour a little hot sauce, little dip in. Oh my God. It's really good. That's weird. Try it. What's happened to you? That was weird. What was that weird?

You want to piss out your own. Also, Lewis, sorry, I hate to be that guy, but you know like how many times you have a go at us for wearing hats because it covers our face in the thumbnail. Yeah. You are a fucking... Ah boo!

Yours is the lowest hat possible then. You are it. I don't know why. You were like, half a rat's all or... Nah. Yeah, you do look like you're on the run a bit with your outfit. It does kinda look like I'm... On the run from the fashion police.

You're such a dad. He is though. And we're gonna finish off with the favorite segment. Has it come through yet? She sent six pictures, so I'm guessing. So when you said, please don't read all the pages, she's taken photos of six pages. I told her to take pictures of the door and read them.

It's time for Lucy's Journal. Didn't specify the picture. And also, before we get into Lucy's Journal, please subscribe. We're aiming to get 1 million subscribers by the end of this week. Yeah. What? So if you're not already subscribed's journal, please subscribe. We're aiming to get 1 million subscribers by the end of this week. Yeah. Yeah.

What? So if you're not already subscribed, click the subscribe button. And comment below your would you rathers for next week, or send them in to the Instagram. Have we got an Instagram? We haven't, mate. Also, feel free to DM me funny and cool stories that I could use for YouTube as gobbles.

Come on, Lewis. Tell us about your really weird journal that you did last year. It wasn't last year. So well, leaving off from what happened last week, last week I decided I wouldn't look for a girlfriend. Yeah. Wait, Lewis, explain why you're on your phone. Sorry.

Yeah, he hasn't got his book. I forgot my book. So what did you have to do? He's had two weeks homework and you didn't bring it. So I had to tell Charlie where it was, but then I got her to promise that she wouldn't read it, but she'd just take pictures of it without reading. Oh, we went deep side. What the hell?

Deep side. It's also really bright. No, you look brilliant, man. It's the same. Really white. It's exactly the same. Also, she did take photos of six pages. Yeah, because she didn't know where we were up to,

so I'm having to sort of differentiate myself. Do you reckon she's frigging herself off in how much pain you were in? I was going to say, I don't think she is actually. Do you think she, do you have enough trust in your relationship to know that she didn't read it? Well, we're going to find out, aren't we? I really hope to say, do you think she, do you have enough trust in your relationship to know that she didn't read it?

Well, we're going to find out, aren't we? Like, I really hope that she, what are you doing that for? I've left you, I've left the keys. I really, yeah, we're going to find out. I really hope she hasn't because that'll be quite embarrassing. I think if you asked not to, she wouldn't, mate. I believe. So yeah, let's carry on. It's nothing crazy today, but you know, it's not going to be crazy every time we do this. We're just going to just read all the journey. Okay.

Sorry. So hello again. So I got up at 6 AM today. Safe to say, man was not happy. It will be worth it. Why was she not happy? Probably because I was up early and woke her up. Lazy bitch. Sorry, Mrs. Barrowden. Thank you. Safe to say, man was not happy. It would be worth it in the long run. I did the usual morning routine, but this time I had time to read and meditate. Get in there. Yeah, I think I was doing, do you know what I was doing? The miracle morning at this point.

Oh yeah. It's like a morning routine. Isn't that 5am though? Not 6. So you're an hour late. I think I cheated. I think I could be arsed. It's like a morning routine. Isn't that five a.m. though? Not six. So you're an hour late. I think I cheated. I think I could be asked.

What is the miracle morning story? It's basically a set of habits to get into to improve your life a bit. It's a book that you follow. Yeah, look. Make your bed, have your cocoa pops. Yeah. Finger your bum.

All the macabre. Yeah, movement, meditate, all that stuff. It does say have cocoa pops? No. No. I had time to meditate. I didn't really do much work before four. It was like I was pretending to do work.

Four? What are you even doing? I think you had to do ten hours. You didn't do anything for ten hours. What the fuck are you doing? Yeah, it's weird of me trying to better myself at all I did. Do you know what I definitely do? Sometimes I don't think I work hard enough. When that speech is in. Yeah, no, you're fucking right.

I reckon I was just playing League of Legends or something. 10 hours? It was like, I was pretending to do work to kid myself. I just made excuses. You're a procrastinator. Yeah, I am. It rhymes with that. I was making excuses to myself about having work later so I should play games instead. Oh. You weren't making it. Well, sadly, that will now change. Oh, you said that in the last week. What are you working as right now, Aventer?

What's your job? So I'm at uni. Yeah. I have like part-time, I think I have like two, maybe two or three part-time jobs. Maybe Trubbies two, seeing trees and the school. Is it like-

Or maybe the golf course. Is it, is your work, you're talking about it's like uni work? No, I think I had an actual, I had a shift later on. You skipped your job to play 10 hours of League of Legends. I had a shift on the evening, so I told myself I shouldn't do work during the day. Got you. I should enjoy my time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Fucking lazy prick. Shall we, that will now change. No games before six. God, he's like a kid, isn't he? AM or PM? 6 PM. All right. Everything, Every day I need to learn that chill time. Every day I need to earn that chill time. So I am working 6 AM to 6 PM. You putting on a cool voice doesn't make this entry any cooler. Also embed by 10 PM. You're a snob. Every day we improve on the last we do that we will make it no excuses.

That's good yeah. And then lyrics for a song. I definitely thought that was fucking hard as shit right in there. Yeah so that's a nice chill one for today. That's a bit embarrassing but. It definitely gets worse as we go on but some days are thankfully less embarrassing. Well I look forward to that. So you did a four hour shift at work that night?

You can't remember that. So during the day you had to... It would be like six till half nine or something. Yeah, normally. But during the day because you got a three hour shift you made sure you didn't do anything else. By the way, if this shift was at the school I did fuck all but just eat Freddo's and Chris's. You're working at school at six pm.

It was like it turned into a leisure centre on the evening. They know you were there. Luke, I'm sorry but... Well you're fucking Janet. I think we're not. You're so lazy. No, I'm sorry, but... Well, you're fucking Janet. I think we're not so lazy. No, no. Saving yourself for a three hour shit.

You have to think that's so lazy, but most people that age do that. I was already doing it. I was an extra man most. I was just wanting even more. Yeah, you're a hustler, bro. I had three jobs. I was doing music videos.

I'm a uni degree. What were you doing? I went to McDonald's. You didn't even finish uni brother I don't know 27. Yeah, how do you know? I think it's like me first year uni. So how old are you 19? 20 when you start 19 18 yeah 18 or 19. I reckon you're 21 in that. I would have been Either just about to leave McDonald's, still at McDonald's.

I don't think he's being serious. Oh. It's in YouTube. Anyway, thanks for thinking that. No, we've got one more, come on. That's a little one. We do one a week. I think we do.

Some weeks it's going to be fantastic. Oh, no. It's all about the commitment. Every week, every week we can't guarantee a banger of a journal. I can talk about how I ran across three countries. Right, no. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. It's gonna be fantastic. It's all about the commitment. Every week, we can't guarantee a banger of a journal. Sometimes it's- How I ran across three countries. Right, no. Bye everyone. That's a joke. I'm only fucking. You made it to the end.

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