Back Side - Theo’s Most Boring Story Ever, Sexual Train Encounters & Thai Massage Problems…

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

The lads debate if they would get a Thai massage as Lewis makes a huge revelation. Theo actually tells and interesting story and Tom brings a BRAND NEW game which sparks huge debate.If you'd like to work with us, email the studio on [e-mail] by The Fellas Studios: https://fellasstudios.com/podcastsTheo:https://youtube.com/c/HiMalfoyhttps://youtube.com/c/TheoBakerVlogsOllie:https://youtube.com/c/reevhttps://youtube.com/c/OllieFletcherTom Garratt:https://www.youtube.com/@TomGarratt10Lewis:https://www.youtube.com/@lewisbowden1 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to a new episode of Backside with me, Reeve, Theo Baker, Tom Garrett and Lewis Bowden. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Backside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram, where all you have to do is search Backside. Let's get into it. I do actually have a weaker immune system than all of you, right? Why? My asthma.

Oh! You not ever had a Barocca before? Not to make it sexual, but like, genuinely, if you're that- How can you make that sexual?

I'm pretty good at dancing. Clearly not very- Yeah. What? Weak man! I'll take a bow! Clearly not very- Such a weak little man!

You try living with the disease. Oh, my God. Oh, not many. First of all, welcome back to Backside. Please reel us five stars because you aren't doing it and it gets us up the charts I mean I so please subscribe to the channel because what's the time and drip like the day is 7th of January This is our second day recording back from the new year. Yeah, there's already broken

You live Why? Yeah You were lit I had a valid No I don't know what you're doing Because he actually thought We were recording an hour earlier And was on his way And was He was going to be lit He was? Because he actually thought we were recording an hour earlier and was on his way and was taking to the chat. He was going to be late. And we were like, mate, we're not recording until 12.

And he's like, because he said I'm going to be there at five past 11. We're recording at 12 and he was still late. He went back to bed and was late again. I wasn't in bed. Where did you go? But how were you going to be late and then you were then able to be on time and then you were late again? 55 minutes early, wouldn't it be? I dropped him to the office to get your package for you.

He's gaslighting me. It's not true. You didn't even know that was it. That package? It could have been your car. No, Ben gave it to me earlier. Why would I have his package in my car? Oh, that sounds a bit...

That sounds a bit in my mouth. That sounds a bit... That's pretty... Can you just put your hat on reverse, please? I wore it this way last i know it wasn't very good i realized why i threw up though it was because you went for a run no it's because i took my rain you know like when you take pills in the morning like what i took my like cold and flu tablets whatever but i hadn't eaten so i took one empty stomach i went

and everything came out how is your what this is what i mean i don't sound like you can do all these physical things but then that could take your body down. Do you know what I mean? He does a half Iron Man. Do you want to know why? Like a cold and flu tablet on an empty belly. This is what?

I have like... This is me like conspiracy theory here. I think you take that many supplements and do all these bollocks, right? Your immune system is shit. See, when they're all like, you've got to have magnesium to sleep. Yeah, no, you don't.

Just read and close your eyes. I'll just get to sleep. I don't take any supplements. Oh, well, you promote them all the time. So that's a bit weird. In, no, you don't. Just read and close your eyes. I'll just get to sleep. I don't take any supplements. Oh, well, you promote them all the time. So that's a bit weird. In the morning, I take cordyceps.

Cordyceps. See, what is that? See, what is that? It's a mushroom that increases your B2, Matt. Yeah, see that? The kid, the kid is like

inventing fucking cordyceps and electromagnets and electrolytes. Also, is the mushroom responsible for creating the zombies in Last of Us? Oh, man. Yeah, brilliant.

Did kid men have that? Cold and flu tablet. You take fucking Omega, creatine. Creatine, you take... It's not even a tablet, Pete. Vitamin 1, vitamin 2, vitamin 3. It's still a supplement. Yeah, you have all vitamin.

Well, that's me one at the start. I'll just fucking wake up, have a cup of tea and get on with the day. It's like taking an ibuprofen. I took an ibuprofen this morning. Yeah, I don't believe in them either. They don't do anything, do they? They don't fucking do anything.

Just have a bit of water, you'll be alright. Drink water! Cup of tea, a bit of water, you'll be alright. John, I've never found you more sexy than I know. And I'm never ill. You know what? Well, we know that's not true. We're like, no, I'm just going to go over.

You do realise I do actually have a weaker immune system than all of you right is that why my asthma oh I got a weakened immune system

that's true that's why can we get a little violin on set my lass hasn't got an immune system what that doesn't make

sense she hasn't got what I can't remember what it's called what did you say Charlie hasn't got an immune system so she's got to

like have I think she gets given other people's immune system. Donate your immune system. I get the, it doesn't make sense. It's funny too. Although saying that,

how we had that cold or cough for weeks, didn't we? Yeah. That was weird. That's why, like she, it's only just gone minor.

Nah, it was probably. When was the last time you got the flu jab? Oh, like eight years ago. No, I don't believe it.

I think I've ever had it. I get offered it, I think like every year. I do as well, because my cold could ask for it. Yeah, but I, No, I don't believe it. I get offered it I think like every year because of my asthma. Yeah, you get pushed up. Yeah, but I I never take it. Do you take it?

I think that's why maybe why I'm ill. Do you remember when Theo Bond went I think adult asthma is the choice. How much money do you think you spend

on ibuprofen throughout a year? What? I don't know. I don't look at prices of ibuprofen. When did you pay that 50 quid? I am skin. You? I don't know. I don't look at prices of ibuprofen. Oh! When did you pay that 50 quidios you made?

I am skinny. You owe me 50 quid. I was in bed, right, last night. What were you wearing? Nothing. Actually, do you know what? I was wearing pyjamas.

I've started wearing pyjamas and do you know what's weird, right? Oh! Do you know what's weird? Wearing pyjamas as a fully grown man. So I never wear pyjamas. They have fucking Mickey Mouse

on and stuff. I never wear pyjamas, right? Never Mouse on and stuff I never wear pyjamas right never never but then me mum and dad but you do though because you're wearing them me mum and dad bought us some jamas

that has like my dog's face on it pyjamas my pyjamas pyjamas that's what people say some pyjama bottoms with like my dog's face on it and I put them on

and I was like yeah sorry this is that is so weird yeah your cock's your cock is next to your dog's face you know what my favourite part you know like

them like tartany looking trouser pyjamas they're comfy they're chilling in the bedroom they just have like cut out of his face her face sorry cut out

like honestly a crack out you wear his hold pyjama trousers you're so weird I'm not that weird that's a really weird thing to do

as a grown man I used to have a mug with my dog's face on it and then Rory Jennings stole it and broke it I think and then I never saw it again

and he never wound up with a dog on the mug he used it on the club so think on the club there was my niece on one side there was my dog on the other side

and he sat there drinking out of it it's also weird that you've got your little niece you're putting your lips next to your niece it's weird

it's not being so weird right now. She's quite sexy. Anyways, Charlie looked at us and she was like, you look good. And she's never ever really found me attractive.

Was she hot? Well, I think she has because she's with you. Wait, no, but she's never, do you know how some girls like Grey Joggers or the Calvin Klein's look

in like boxers? Yeah. She's never really commented on it, but pyjamas. Because you usually dress like shit. But pyjamas, I wear those. Wait, she finds you attractive in pyjamas. Yeah. She's never really commented on it, but pyjamas. Because you usually dress like shit. But pyjamas, I wear those. Wait,

she finds you attractive in pyjamas? Yeah. God, that's weird, isn't it? How bad is my sense of dress?

That pyjamas is the improvement? Yeah. You know what I mean? You get more attractive the more clothes you wear. But to be fair, I was in pyjamas,

sat reading and better. Maybe she thought I looked like an intellectual. Yeah, the what? She probably did it, mate. The most ironic statement of all time. I think i look like an intro lexical you fucking idiot extraterrestrial

it's because you usually look they're just like fabricy shorts i'm a nude sleeper but you know that i'll just wear boxes we've done that before i think anything you know that you know that you're hot pajama short it's just like What are you wearing? Aren't you hot? Pajama short. It's just like a pair of loose boxers. Aren't you hot? I find the normal boxers a bit too tight for bed. And around my compression trousers.

I don't want to be naked because what if there's a fire in the night? Then you put the fucking clothes on as you leave the house. You don't have time. You've got to get out and you have to knob out.

Or what if the window cleaner's there and you haven't closed the blinds and you just bare ass and cocks out? I don't live in a high rise where that happens to me. Why don't you just have your curtains shut

when you're sleeping? Yeah, yeah. I do, but you never know. So you're preparing for something that doesn't even need to be prepared. Charlie, there's a fucking man outside on the 14th floor. Anyways, I was there

in my pyjamas and I was thinking, what is, now we're into January, it's like the back end. So far this year, everyone's trying to be better people. Can you think of like one good thing

and like one bad thing that you've done this year? Oh, I can think of one. This morning, I got up off the tube to let an older woman and an older man sit down. I don't think that counts.

That's a good thing. That should be the done thing anyway. No, but most people just look at their phone and like don't even look. Oh, really? Yeah.

And it wasn't one of the priority seats. It was just a normal seat. I'd feel well awkward if I weren't, if someone was there like. No, it was a pretty busy, it was a pretty busy. People getting on Oxford Circus, it was fucking busy like, but'd feel well awkward if I weren't if someone was there like no it was a pretty busy it was a pretty busy

people getting on Oxford Circus it was fucking busy like but I'll just London I'm not trying I'm not trying to climb on fucking Jesus Florence Nightingale

but you asked for one good thing I've done what about a bad thing how many how many I know a bad thing you've done go on almost murdered me

attempted murder attempted murder that is attempted murder. I could sue you for attempted murder. I won't, but I could. Oh,

I can think of a bad thing. Yeah, maybe. Oh, yeah, on the same night, holding up Theo for four minutes. That could be.

That's a good thing as well. That's a good thing. What did you do, Tom? What did you do? Who'd you kill? I don't think I can talk about it. Wait, are you talking about

a good thing for somebody else or just a good thing you experienced? Either, just a good thing or a bad thing. On the way home, I walked past someone playing the piano. And rather than just being like, oh, okay, I'll just walk off and ignore this. You sat down for like three minutes and just...

Stared at them. On the same seat. No, no, no. On the same piano seat. And just gave him a hug. A bench near it. A bench near it. And just went, you know what?

Let me be present for five minutes and experience this wonderful music. He was a really good pianist. Yeah, but you do weird things all the time. and experience this wonderful music. He was a really good pianist. You do weird things all the time. He was a good pianist. He was a good pianist. What was he playing? A bit weird, mate. You don't know the song?

Come on, man. No, it wasn't like a traditional... Oh, well, I shall... Traditional hero. Fleur de Ria. What the fuck's Fleur de Ria? Chris Rea? Oh, it's Fleur de Ria.

Driving home for Christmas. Farrelly's. Farrelly's. No, Fleur... Fleur East. There's a different song. Far. Driving on for Christmas. Fleur Elise. Fleur Elise. No, Fleur East. There's a different song. Fleur Elise. Right. Greensleeves.

What's going on here? Yeah. Oh, Greensleeves. That's like the old... Yeah. How does it go again? I don't know. But I hear it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you hear it, it's... It's like the old... It's a piano. No, you learn it on the flute and record it on your Greensleeves. I don't know what it is. No, it's Fire in London. No, it's not. London's learn it on the flute and record it on your green sleeve I don't know what it is no it's Fire London no it's not

London's burning London's burning that's not what I'm on about no I know bestie engine pour on water pour on water

please stop please stop green sleeves you turned your hat back on green sleeve yeah it's now it's on my face

look I'm lit up it's because there's more light on him now that's why yeah play green sleeves Tom it's on the public domain so we lit up it's because there's more light on him now that's why yeah play green sleeves tom it's on uh the public domain so we won't get copyrights yeah it's pretty cold from her to be fair though what's good thing bad thing you've done good thing bad thing you've done i can't think of anything, to be honest

Just wait for something to pop in your head Yeah, good thing You brought my parcel Yeah, I went to get your parcel Bad thing, I haven't done anything bad yet But I'm sure it'll come Hmm What about being late today?

Oh, good point Breaking your New Year's resolution already After making us feel so bad for questioning you Yeah, you actually did You tried to gaslight us into that. But in my defense. But we were right.

We knew it would happen. I appreciate your patience with me, so thank you. Oh, that's an improvement. In my defense. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it.

Do you want to open your package on camera? Oh. No, he's tiny. I want to know what's been, that's been in the office for like two months. I can tell you what it is.

Do you know when I went to that gala thing, I had to order clothes to the hotel because I didn't have like fancy clothes. I accidentally ordered it in the office For like two months I can tell you what it is Do you know when I went To that gala thing I had to order clothes To the hotel Because I didn't have Like fancy clothes I accidentally ordered it To the office

So I had to buy more clothes When I was there Wait so that's like a suit Yeah I couldn't be asked To collect this Oh put it on So it's just there Put your shoes on

Nah it's just like shoes And a bow tie Give me a spare rod You wear for the next episode Put the bow tie on Put the bow tie on One two two Three two one one

Yes I don't even know What's in there to be fair Put the bow tie on. I will next episode. No, put your bow tie on. Listen in next week. Guys, I have an announcement.

Congrats, man. Well done. I thought you'd come out this year. I'm proud of you. I'm going to Thailand. We know. Yeah, no, but do you want to ask any questions about it? Really?

Because you haven't been? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have to ask before and after. Well, have you been to Thailand? No, but I know loads of people who have. You're going to Thailand as well. I am, yeah. We don't have to ask before and after. Well, have you been to Thailand? No, but I know loads of people who have. You're going to Thailand as well. I am, yeah. What happens if I come back with a tattoo and braids

and I found myself? Braids. Does George give you any recommendations? Well, this is our point we brought up. So you have three options in this scenario. Okay, so there you are. You're getting a massage and you're single in this situation, okay?

All three of you are single in this situation. You're getting a massage and next thing you know, you've paid for a happy ending, okay? It's currently happened. So what? One thing leads to another. It's only a wank.

One thing leads to another. Next thing, you're about to have sex. Well, why would it lead to that? Because she's into you, you're into her. She finished me off. No, she's just getting you started. Yeah, and then you have to go again. Because like, no, because,

do you know what? It's hypothetical. No, no, no. What I'm saying is, if I'd finished, if I'd finished and she started to try it on, I would have had,

my mind would be clear and I would be thinking straight. No, but she's beautiful. But if my erection's still there and I have not ejaculated, then therefore you are thinking with your penis. There you go, right?

So, she's absolutely stunning, okay? You're in love love you're basically in love with her okay you think fucking i'm gonna move it for her right next thing you know you're about to make love okay as you make as you're about to like start doing the business her knob falls out yeah okay do you a falls out do you this happened to joe do you do you a run do you be do you be because you've already paid at this point so you can leave anytime so you a run b go oh i'm so sorry i'm not into that uh i do you mind if i go i'm so sorry for the mix-up or c do you continue i think stop and leave yeah i'd probably somewhere

between a and b i know whatever they're i'd like I play a bit coy, like, oh no. Talk me into it. You know what I mean? You have to put yourself, no, you're thinking. Sorry, no, I think I understand what you're saying. No, let me talk to you about it.

So you're basically saying you would do it. No, no, no. There's nothing wrong with that. With the right, with the right, with the right wording. I, I,

yours is option D, you're getting bummed. No. You wouldn't even fuck her. This is a real scenario that's happened. So what did Joe do? He ran.

Oh, he ran with A. Okay, that's... No, what I'm saying is, I think when you're at your like... Everyone's had a bad wank, okay? When you're at your the worst mindset and you're like...

What do you mean by a bad wank? Like, it's just, I don't know, there might not have been the most attractive female on the site. Oh, someone you're like... What do you mean by a bad wank? Like, it's just, I don't know, there might not have been the most attractive female on the site. Oh, someone's wanking you off, you mean? No, no, no. Having a bad wank personally is probably never.

All I'm saying is, all I'm saying is, let's just bring you through the actual situation. So you're there, you've just had a nice, you've just had a lovely massage, she's been rubbing your dick,

you're getting into it, you're like, oh, she's fit. And then at that point, you're ready. I'm saying in that mindset's fit and then at that point you're ready I'm saying in that mindset your decision process will be different to your process now

without me having a rub no I disagree I completely disagree it would completely put me off I think a cock would put me off it would completely

put me off I've got a better one though I'll do a better one for that I think she's like no no come on it's alright

I'll put a sock on it and then I'll be like what does that mean you put a sock on it don't then I'm like, what does that mean? Put a sock on it? Don't draw more attention to it. Hide it a bit. Or is it a skin-colored sock? Or we just put a pillow there.

Hang on. What? Oh, no. We've all seen the Jeffrey video. He seems like he's enjoying himself. He had a great time. He had a fucking class time. Him and Jeffrey.

That was funny. That was one of the best videos ever. No, I definitely wouldn't do that. But what I might do which I will pose this question say you're in Thailand

let's pretend you're single right you're in Thailand you're having a massage you think it then turns into a happy ending

they're starting they're rubbing your cock with all the oils they wouldn't be doing that though would they sorry sorry

they're rubbing your cock with all the oils yeah make it appropriate yeah and uh then uh you know this woman is like a ten actually she's like megan fox yeah she's dead but she just has a cock no no no wait okay oh wait don't ruin the story sorry don't ruin it so if you're listening

to this on audio close your eyes you're laying down you're getting wanked off by the most beautiful woman you've ever seen so they're rubbing your legs yeah she's and then as you're getting wanked off by the most beautiful woman you've ever seen so they're rubbing your legs yeah she's and then as you're about halfway to 75 percent of and you're like this is the best seconds in then this is the best wank of my life and then you open your eyes you turn and you can just see a cock hanging between her skirt do you let her finish you off how big's the skirt good question why does that matter because if it's hanging beneath the skirt, if it's like, if the skirt is down here, that's a big cock.

That's the first question. But how big's the skirt? Because if the skirt goes to her knees, that's one ginormous cock. Why does it matter if the cock is 12 inches or 3 inches? Because if it's 3 inches, you can hide it more. No, you've seen it anyway.

The confirmation is that there is a cock. I feel like the size of the cock... No, the skirt... Lewis, Lewis, Lewis. The skirt can be as short or as long as you want in your imagination. I'm alright with her wanking me off if my cock's bigger than hers. I feel like that's a good rule of thumb. If your cock is bigger than theirs, it isn't homosexual.

So you can never do that then, Luke? You can never get wanked off by a bloke. Yeah, well, that's why I haven't. Fair enough. I think that's a fair rule of love for life. It's got a smaller knob than every bloke. I'm like, I keep going around. I keep going to Thailand and asking to see,

but I keep not having any luck. What are you doing in that situation? I would not be able to tell. I think I'd let him finish me off. Yeah, fuck it, you're there, man. Possibly. Also, life experience. Honestly, what would you do?

It's a good story for Backside, to be fair. What would you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes in those situations, I just think, there's going to be an anecdote in five minutes' time. But you know, in Bangkok,

it's actually less common than everyone thinks. That's not what I've heard. But in Phuket, it's very common what I've heard but in Phuket it's very common so it's actually in Phuket rather than Bangkok right

okay well I've heard they're all over tried to book the the rooftop bar where the hangover was filmed to get wanked off

nah just for cool vibes oh to post yeah but it was £140 per person that's nothing to you man pounds yeah would have been like four weeks in thailand hangover that is true how expensive you know what i mean like that's crazy over film came out didn't it raise the price yeah yeah yeah yeah the economy yeah

yeah it did actually so you're gonna do that then you're gonna get massage i'll get massage yeah and you'll accidentally i went to a Thai massage in Brisbane actually in Australia I'm genuinely on the door This is a non People like you guys who say every time massage is gonna be a happy What is a time They actually like just a massage. Yeah, but do you know

what it's like? They're fucking, they're cruel on you and shit. I didn't like it. What? I didn't like it. It's a bit more like of a whole body experience.

Talking of massages in Asian countries, apparently in Bali it's quite common for girls when they get massaged to be flipped over and like they've just,

like they've rubbed their tits. Yeah. Yeah, I heard that rubbed their tits. Yeah. Yeah, I heard that. I haven't heard that. Yeah. Yeah, but that's just culture. It's pretty common. Is it?

I don't mind a rub, but like when they start fucking actually massaging it. You don't have tits, Luke. But when Theo went there. Doesn't hurt. It does a bit when they get a sports massage.

That's a sports massage. Yeah, it fucking hurts. It's completely different. They're not comparable. It's not the same thing at all. You are an idiot. I'm not really. Did you get went off

at the end of your Sports massage Come on then I've had enough Fucking wait It's a really vigorous wank Yeah Splitting your banjo and that I only had one sports massage

In my life And then I want to know Because that's what happens If you vigorously wank Your cock off Is it No it's not

I've never split my banjo I've never split it Imagine it would hurt though Wouldn't be nice one of them is alive so what else do you do in thailand then uh do drew elephants yeah i'll go and visit elephants sanctuary oh but like are they treated nice yeah yeah you go to the ones that are really nice yeah i don't agree with all of thai food eat thai food yeah i can't believe do you know elephants are like would touch the ceiling?

They're that big? Yeah. No, the back would be on the ceiling. I don't... It is. Are they fucking huge? African elephants probably, yeah. They're fucking massive.

Indian elephants are a lot smaller. Do you know what I mean? How tall is this? It's like 12 foot. Are they 12 foot? Mate, it's mental, isn't it? They are pretty fucking massive, yeah. I don't know if they're massive.

Yes. See how tall is a... How tall is Gariballo's son? 2.8 metres. See, that's not that... 3.2, African bush elephant. The Asian ones are smaller. 8 to 13 feet.

So, yeah, they probably were just about to... I thought I was, like, being a bit adventurous there. But it's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see an African bull elephant. They are fucking massive. And they're cooking class as well. Cook Asian food. Oh, Thailand food. Yeah. They do a cooking class as well. Caucasian food.

Thailand food. Oh, I heard someone did that. Gokwan. You got island hopping as well. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I'll go a couple of islands then, Dak. That'll be nice. Yeah, looking forward to it, bruv.

Yeah, have you seen the videos of the African bull elephants when they're like in season? They're fucking mental. They're really scared. If they're wet behind the ears and stuff and dribbling, they're just dugging near They're fucking mental. They're really scared. If they're like wet behind the ears and stuff and like dribbling, they're like just dug in here and they'll fuck you up.

Not to make it sexual, but like genuinely, if you're that- How can you make that sexual? I'm saying, this is genuine interest because they don't lay eggs, obviously. How can they shag?

They're so massive. Have you ever seen them? They're just like, they jump up. Yeah, yeah. Their cocks are huge, mate. Can you type in African bull elephant dick it's massive mate

I've seen a fully erected one African elephant makes love Christ yeah look it's like a fourth fifth leg yeah it has to be to reach the bird

fucking hell it touches the floor called a female elephant are they just like one pump and they're out I don't know I think they have a good go like they don't do it for pleasure they have a good go, like.

They don't do it for pleasure. You must have seen them gorillas shagging. Fucking, he's smashing that one pump. Rare shot of African elephant with large penis. Why is it rare?

Don't they have smaller penises than us? Not possible. Probably smaller. Yeah, probably smaller than me. Not possible. That just looks like

he's just got a skinny leg. Anyways, yeah. Yeah. That really underdeveloped fourth leg. I'm just curious. I don't leg. Anyways, yeah. Yeah. That really underdeveloped fourth leg. I'm just curious. I don't know. Anyway, speaking of animals

and things like this, I actually have a new segment for you. Yeah. What? New segment time? Are you excited? Yeah, go on then. It's good.

Because I thought the riddles were getting a bit... He gets it right every time. It's a bit boring. Yeah, there's a problem. Oh, I'm so clever. We don't even get to act as our characters

you're just like I'm brilliant I know mainly because we end up doing racist and stereotypical but I'm going to stay on the lot stereotypical Barbie

I'm going to kind of put two together she's the best Barbie yeah she's fit as fuck so it's going to be I'm going to give you three news stories some three crazy

news stories around the world and you've got to come together not like that as a team which one's real which one's

oh this is from no no which one's fake oh so two are true one's not two truths one lie well that's what Dara O'Brien

what was that show he used to do would I lie to you no no no that's Rob O'Brien Mock the Week it's like Mock the Week it's a classic

radio game yeah I mean I guarantee this is ripped off from somewhere. I used to do it on student radio, but not with... What I was going to do

was just give you a crazy news story and you'll just go, oh, wow. So we've got to work as a team, though, and use our questions. Before we go on, you have to come up

with a funny name. Tom's Tickles. Oh. Tom the Week. News of the Tom. Tuck the Week. Tom of the Week. Tuck the Week.

News of the Tom. Tuck the Week. Right the Week. Talk the Week. News of the Tom. Talk the Week. Right, so I do have them in different... Oh, it should be like Guessing Gaz, because we have to guess which is correct. Guessing Gaz, he likes his alliteration. Right, so the first news story is actually from this week. I already know the way to work this out anyway,

because anything that is fake, he starts giggling. Do you mean three weeks ago? Two weeks ago. No, no. What? No, it's from the snow, so no. Yeah, so two weeks ago. Well, there was snow three days ago.

When does this video get uploaded? Oh, well. They know we filmed backwards. Yeah, the start of January. So, 30 people backside have been snowed in at a pub

for four days yeah I've seen this 30 people okay that's first headline I don't know are you saying this truthfully

or are you just trying to put us off the centre because we're working together here we're working as a team by the way this isn't a case

of being like we're going to get the headlines I'm going to ask them questions as a team number two I don't know I'm trying to ask them questions as a team. Number two.

I don't know. I'm trying to think of a headline. Dead polar bear found with pregnant polar bear inside. What? He ate a pregnant polar bear? What? What? And then...

Oh, the pregnant polar bear was sleeping inside his carcass. And then the third headline. That's baffling. It says three polar bears in one polar bear. Adult nappies sold out in America. Oh, that was. So I would like to touch on the pub one first, right?

Okay. So I saw this news article. Turns out it was from like years ago. And it was like almost like fake. Not true. Okay, right. So that's a brilliant piece of evidence given. So one of the two, I sort of read it.

It was up in Scotland somewhere. Well, where was it? Where was it? York. Whatever. It was, I think it was from years ago. Well, I'll ask him questions. Was it from years ago?

No, it's from this week. But was it fake? No, it's real. No, but it was from, but you read it this week. But the article was about something that happened years ago and look I've caught you already look at you you're skiggling

it's fucking fake I've seen the same one that would still be real though wouldn't it no because it's bullshit it's a made up article he's right we can't get

he's going to bring us down the wrong road and we're going to lose straight away the idea is let's just try and make him crack let's question him about all of them and we'll see where the lies fall back

I don't believe that immediately because he doesn't read yeah it was a made-up article i actually think it adds more validity to his story it was a made-up article okay we're on the same team think about it logically guys so the poor they are trying to say to you 30 people got snowed into a pub and were stuck there for four days use your fucking brain do you think in this they wouldn't be eager to get out, would they? You stay in the pub, get boozed up,

and then you sound. Yeah, yeah, no, they can't call anyone to come and get them. Yeah, why would they think of the stay and say, oh, we're stuck, I'm not going to work?

That's what I'd do. It's, oh, don't be so dumb. Right, let's move on to Paula Bear. Because all he's going to do is talk. Just so you know, not a great look

if it is one of the true ones. Yeah. It's a real article, but it's fake. Who found the polar bear? I don't know. I don't know. Do you not read these articles? It wasn't that in-depth.

Oh, right. So we're guessing headlines. No, it wasn't that in-depth. It didn't tell me who found it. Can I ask you a question? I don't know. I honestly don't know. Is this a polar bear that's eaten another polar bear that has to be pregnant,

or is it a polar bear hiding inside a dead carcass? No. What it is, apparently... I found it in voice. I shoved it up its nose. I found it in... Hang on, let me read it. This is the Tom Garrett fictional...

Let's see if he's lying. It's known as Freckin', apparently. It's see if he's lying. Let's see if he's lying. It's known as Freckin, apparently. It's a weird phenomenon. It apparently, genuinely, where the baby, it's a dead polar bear

that was pregnant. So it's his, he hasn't eaten it. It's a dead, and the baby was dead as well. But in it, it was pregnant. They found,

it's called freckle. You can't swallow a whole polar bear. It didn't swallow a polar bear. The polar bear, it's a female polar bear, was pregnant, was found dead. Obviously, they saw the stomach, so they obviously checked inside. They found another dead baby, but then that baby was also pregnant. I'm carrying an embryo. What time did they get the periods? So like the fetus of a polar baby was also pregnant. I'm carrying an embryo. What time do they get the periods? So like the fetus of a polar bear inside

the female polar bear had an embryo inside of that. I don't understand the fucking... How do you know what freckin' is? It says on the article. It has to be a true one. But he could easily be lying and bluffing. He knew in advance what we were going to do.

He could have came up with Freckin. I've heard of Freckin. I don't think it's that. Okay, what was the final one? The final one was adult diapers run out in America. That does make sense with America. That does make sense, yeah. Apparently, due to...

Okay, sorry. So, apparently concert goers at a certain festival that sounds true to avoid all the long queues have been selling out these adult nappies i don't know what the that's disgusting if you're listening to this what you think is the false one you specified it's an american headline it's in it's in america so that's true um the other two we have to decide between i think the polar bear one just sounds like anything ludicrous that comes from america is most probably i i agree i agree and i believe the pub one the thing with the polar bear one is it's like he had a believable story of freckin but it's

scientifically impossible for a baby to get pregnant you don't know that it can't mate technically no because if it's carrying an embryo inside a fetus, that can't be pregnant. Why? No, no, because you haven't had a bit of polar bears for periods. What do you mean? When do they come into, like, heat? I don't know.

Who knows that? But if the polar bear has not been born, it cannot be pregnant. But it's just a scientific phenomenon. It's like a phenomenon. That's what I mean.

Scientifically, that's what I'm trying to explain to you. From my understanding, scientifically, it doesn't make, yeah, but you're willing to think a phenomenon is true or that some people

get trapped in a pub and die because I know it's fake that one you got done in if you click on it everyone's like this is not true

they all had a big orgy in the pub oh no no joking I mean logically has there been enough snow to lock

your it's quite it's quite low in the UK it's like low down but I'm pretty sure there was rain I mean, logically, has there been enough snow to lock York? It's quite low in the UK. It's like low down. But I'm pretty sure there was rain immediately afterwards. You haven't asked me more questions about York. Where in York? It's the highest pub in York.

Yeah, I know this. I know this, but this is where I'm caught. Because this A happened years ago or B. It happened the other day. It didn't. I saw the same article. I've seen the article. It might happen every year when it's not there. You've been click baited then.

Where do you read it? Either way, even if he's been click baited, that means. Even if it's been click baited, he's got it down as a true. I don't know. Is this helping our. No, because even if it's click bait, he's got it down as a true article. It is a real article. I'm on your team.

I know what I'm saying is it's a real article then. The snow was so deep. Wait, so are we working out whether true article it is a real article i'm on your team i know what i'm saying is it's a real article then the snow was so deep wait so are we working out whether or not the real article we're trying to figure out what the lie is or like a fake story we're trying to one of them's fake and two articles that he's read right so you've created a headline for one of them yeah okay so the article is a real article then? No, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's not true. Two are genuine stories that are fact-checked and are verified true. And then the third is an article

that's fake? Or made up. Right, okay, okay. So can you have a real article that is made up? Yeah, I mean, it could be a fake article, yeah, but you're making this, yeah.

Okay, so he's read that because I've seen the same article. We're working out the one that he's made up. I've seen the same article, but it's backwards. You need to a fake article. I feel like we're confusing this. But you're making this, yeah. Okay, so he's read that because I've seen the same article. We're working out the one that he's made up. I've seen the same article but it's backwards. You need to leave that article and focus on the other.

You need to figure out which of these stories is false. I think it might be the diapers one then. That isn't easy because if you were to make up an article, get inside the mind of Tom.

Poo. Americans diapers. That's quite easy story to make up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What concert was it? What concert was it? What concert was it? It was just concert goers. Oh, it's so, yeah.

Lazy as well. He hasn't thought of the backstory. He said concert goers. What's the concert? What is the concert? He said concert goers. No, it's a trend at the minute. What brand of nappies?

What brand of nappies sold out? I don't know. What was it? Nickelback? I think you're onto something here because he said concert concert goes but previously is for people that went to festivals no but the same thing is he was laughing as soon as i said that is the lie all right hands up for dyka diaper i feel like polar bear but carry on i believe you

you would say that yeah i know i know i don't know if he's not if he's got i think fair play choose one choose one if he gets us with the polar bear know, I know. I don't know. No, if he's got, I think fair play. Choose one. Choose one. If he gets us with a polar bear one, fair play. No, I'm outvoted anyway. I'm outvoted. Just choose one.

Don't sit on the fence. Choose one. I'm going to choose B, but you guys can choose B. No, we have to go as a team. It's a team vote. It's a team vote. I've been outvoted,

so it doesn't matter. No, no, no. We need to agree. I'll go with C then. So you're saying what's fake? Oh, he looks too happy. No, I don't know what you said. I'll go with the diapers.

I'll go with the diapers on group decision, but I think B was the fake one. Okay, I'll read them out one by one. So. I'll go with the diapers On group decision But I think B was Okay I'll read them out one by one So I knew it was the fucking The pub Is a true story Right okay cool

You know it's It's not real Theo Theo Yeah you saw that TikTok Yeah But actually It's a daily mirror

It's from It's from two days ago It's fucking real They don't fucking make up Anything It's real It's real It's not real Shut up it's fucking real they don't fucking make up anything it's real it's not real shut up it's not real you said it was in scotland for one yeah you said it was in york no no yeah exactly yeah yeah fucking hell jesus you two are like fucking genius right so he's gotta go log into facebook work this on It doesn't Come on The pub Can you What are you doing It doesn't matter

The pub story is true Go on 2021 it happened It's not It's show isn't it It's also happened before 2021 What

So it's also happened What's that prove before What's that proven It's this fucking pub You dingo It's not It is mate You went on one fucking

In North Yorkshire In the In the Tannhill Inn mate He's right you know It happens loads No it doesn't It's not. It is, mate. You went on one fucking... In North Yorkshire. In the Tannhill Inn, mate. He's right, you know. It happens loads. No, it doesn't. Oh, maybe it's happened again this year then. It hasn't happened. You've been done in by the Daily Mirror, mate.

You should be embarrassed. It must happen all the time. Either way, it is a real article. Look at the comments, mate. Look at the comments saying this happened years ago. They're not. I feel like we have got on the way of problem. None of the comments are saying that.

Mate, you believe a TikTok over an actual article. Yeah. Admit it, you're not. I feel like we've got on the way from. None of the comments are saying that. Mate, you believe a TikTok over an actual article? Yeah. Admit it, you're wrong. No, but the argument is the article is still a real article. It doesn't matter. It's a real article.

Look, see. 2021. 2025. Thank you. Where? Snowden at the Tam Hill Inn. Fucking shut up, you bull. Go down. Go down. Keep scrolling down. It happened in 2021. Mate, it's Snowden at the Tannhill Inn. Fucking shut up you bald- Go down, go down, keep scrolling down. It happened in 2020.

Man, it's Snowden. Look, you can't even see the door. No one's inside that. Mate! How do you know? How would they get the pictures without getting them out, you idiot? Someone in the living room! No, no, no! The outside world still exists.

They're not the only humans in the world. Why they're not letting us out? Because I don't think they can- I don't know. They're taking photos but they're not letting us out It's a real article Leave me alone It's a real article Anyway Can you stop

We've got the reveal now I think it might be because they're on a hill So they can't get down It doesn't matter because it's a real article. They just ski home anyway Let's see then the TV got it all the fake article to go one Oh, so the next true story to go one nil up this he's the diaper Because Holy stupid DIRRIT! A pregnant polar bear had a pregnant babby inside it! Why wouldn't you push your case more? Because I got outvoted and it's a democracy as you said!

You didn't fight your case though! You didn't fight it, you were just like, yeah I'll just go! You were too busy sitting on the fence saying I played you like a fiddle Too busy sitting on the fence with the correct answer! I don't like that! You're always saying I had the correct answer, what did you vote for? You didn't...

Yeah because you guys said that you got no balls, mate. You didn't fight your corner. You didn't say, no, look, this is why I think you just got no balls. Where's your testicles? I've seen them. They're big.

Show them off. Where they at? Would you want me to put a case forward to just... Next time, if you believe, if you believe that, would you...

Yeah, if you believe in it, convince me. Why don't you back yourself? You shouldn't believe in it. Convince me. No, I didn't. It wasn't anything to do with the actual articles themselves. I'll play you like a fiddle.

It was his expressions as he was reading the polar bear pregnancy. Back yourself, mate. Really, it wasn't actually an analysis of the headlock. It was more just knowing Tom. So the polar bear one's fake? Yeah, I made it up this morning. That's a pretty good line from you, though. What is that?

I just made a word up. Do you know what? He really played us by... Yeah, it's not a real word. No, it's fracking, I think you've heard of. Oh, fracking. What is that? What is fracking?

Fracking is what we was on about the other day. Drills. I know. Did you just come up with the word fracking? Yeah, oil. Did you say fracking? He's like, yeah, that's how it works. No, I was actually outside.

When I was waiting to come in, I was like, I need a word for this phenomenon. I was just like, fracking. I don't know, just come into my room because I just thought yeah too clever and I started I made sure to laugh

about the last one and also I made sure to say festival and then concert goers so you'd be like oh you got it wrong nah I think

you're not that smart no I I'm not smart I've been watching a lot of Would I Lie to you lately but that's why I wasn't even bothered about what he was saying oh I'm playing I've been watching a lot of Would I Lie To You lately. But that's why I wasn't even bothered about what he was saying. Oh, I played you like a fiddle!

I put my chips on him. Yeah, I just didn't think you'd be trying that hard. Well, that was... I really enjoyed that, man. That was good. What was it called again? Tom World. Guessing Gaz.

Guessing Gaz. And Gaz is 1-0 up. Right. And what we'll do do by the end of the end of the what should we should we do a timeline first to five

get to the loser has to I don't know how do we do that though wait so but we win if we we're voting as a group so no

you're voting as a group no it's you three against me yeah that's what I mean oh but we have but we're both like so he has more odds of winning because we have

there's three not because there's three but three No because there's three But yeah But then there's three of us So it's equal Even fair playing field Right Yeah but you

It's three brains Against one brain And you know me very well You know when I lie I just thought If you were to mix up And not poo In Americans

It's quite easy Just also Just the thing with me Is you've just got to think Usually I'm lying Next week Now we're going to Can we do one of these

Next week as well then Yeah we'll do it every week right yeah also what I was gonna say now we're gonna be like double guessing

while he's having a wee I had a fucking really strange experience on the overground today so you know he's on about fucking people not letting people off

and all that so there was these two fucking like I'm pretty sure they were twins pretty good looking girls were like hand in hand um i was facing the other way because it was it wasn't that busy but it opened the one way so i got in and then the next one opened the other way so i was facing the other way but i could like see them out the reflection of the closed doors i was facing and they were linking arm in arm went to step on

And went oh no fell both of them accidentally kegged me so I beat my arse out I Was like this is what you do in Ozai. We've only got one more stop till I was like, all right carry on So carried on next thing, you know, the other doors open in front of me two more twins male twins fall i'm like what are you going okay i'm already kegged and hard so they fall on me they just start sucking me off both of them having a go next thing you know a couple man and woman from the side yeah just start coming up and just snogging me so i'm on the overground getting my ass eaten by two female twins my cock is getting eaten by two male twins and an older

couple's snogging me and then i had to get off you know ever had a barocca before you know when you have a barocca that was like my you know when you have broken itocca That was like my cock earlier You know when you have a Barocca And it makes your wheel Like luminescent Yeah What? Luminescent You said luminescent

Luminescent Like all like bright and wild So Obviously I had a Barocca yesterday But you know I told you I started taking this So yet again He's taking supplements

So this is when you're ill Got no immune system When you're ill mate You take something to make you better When you've got a weak immune system As an asthmatic like I am Such a weak little man Such a weak little man

Sorry You try living with the disease Oh I've got many Which one? I've got a little immune booster thing Immune booster thing It's's got immune booster things obviously got loads of like vitamin d in it right yeah vitamin d last couple of days like my wee has been like well luminescent and today i went in there turning into the sun and i was like what

the fuck is going on it's like i've like come out of like the nuclear power plant or something and i've only it's only just clocked to me that obviously i didn't ever i'd been taking that so all the vitamin d is making my way yeah not the fucking Barocca vitamin D pee story but I didn't have a Barocca today that's why I was well confused

and it hit me oh yeah that was thrilling fucking hell what a do we have what a ride I think we need to get

fact versus fact oh yeah actually oh yeah we're going to be facted out today fact versus fact my fact today yeah is a bit like... He's not a fact.

Don't make excuses for it. No, it's actually a real... No, it's actually from 2021. It's actually a real fact and really interesting, but there's no cool headline. Just tell us. They're the judges. Just use the one that was fake for him.

Oh, yeah. So they're the judges. So if they like it... Snowman. There's a polar bear. But it's 1-0 up for me. Yeah, it's 1-0. This is genuinely a very cool fact

just quickly in the comments you need to let us know what we can do about like forfeits for for guessing gas and also this it's going to be

it's got three forfeits going on in the show at the moment yeah that's good isn't it it's badass that's pretty badass that's pretty badass I like those ankle socks

nap okay ready would you ever bring in facts versus fact uh fact versus Lewis versus in Facts versus fact Uh Fact versus Lewis Versus Theo

In Fact versus fact He said fact versus fact Motherfucker Not What you thought Which one is not a fact But they're both facts

They claim to be Well apart from when They both say they're facts And neither of them Are actually facts Especially when Theo Just makes something up He's full of shit

Ready So That's a good You have to do that every week No Not every week Every week And neither of them are actually fair. Especially when Theo just makes something up. He's full of shit. Ready? That's a good... You have to do that every week now. Not every week. The title is... Every week. Every week. The Danish Bog Bodies.

The Danish Bog? That's intriguing. So people were found dead in the bog. That's what left Radioactive sick. Yeah. So, the year is 1950. And there's a man called P.V. Sorenson. Let's call him

Sorenson. Or P.V. Pervert. Call him Pervert. Pervert Sorenson. No, no, no. So, he's a peat worker. He's a what?

A peat worker. What does that mean? I don't know. What's a peat worker? You're supposed to cross-reference what the meanings are. P.E.A.T. When you found this out, did you not get curious yourself and think, what's a peat worker you're supposed to cross reference what the meanings are when you found this out did you not get curious yourself and think what's a peat worker yeah i don't know is it whiskey uh it's basically like you move shit out of bogs okay

so it basically works in boxing oh yeah the box is in like toilets no no like look at the picture there like digging it like um stick of the dump so he's like shrek's maintenance guy yeah anyways he's working in a bog near tolland in central denmark and uh as they were digging they just hit something like what the dead body what the hell is that it's a dead fucking body you go ow moved, ow! Ow! And he moved all the, I was sleeping! All the boggy, boggy, boggy mud. Mud.

The mud, yeah. And, it was a face. Yeah, how mad is that, right? And, and he moves more mud. And the face has mistletoe in its mouth.

What? Yeah, mistletoe. So he kissed it. Camel toe. And then, as he starts to uncovering as he starts to uncover this body his art is that the arms are tied like this it's a perfectly intact body by the way so it must be fresh fresh body but intact like that and its legs are tied at the bottom does the

keep it fresh almost looks like a human sacrifice oh no mistletoe and wine yep okay famously didn't come out before also what's mistletoe got to do sacrifice don't we about to find out aren't you tom are we are we or is it i don't think we're going to find out i think that never gets mentioned again not only does he have all this stuff on right the body was wearing a sheep skin cap with a noose around its leg elbow so it had a noose around its leg as well which people were thinking oh no there wasn't a

sheep there sheep skin hat you fucking idiot with a noose around its neck leg whose leg legs

are you thick legs what's a it's one body they had their legs tied with a rope mate yeah he said it

not he. So I meant he thought he meant the sheep. Well, they, them. What are you on about? He doesn't want to discriminate. Sorry, I got confused. What are you on about? Anyways, perfectly intact body number one found, okay?

Two years later. Did they remove it from the thing or just leave it there and move on? They removed it. All right. We'll send it to the scientists, okay? So two years later. To the scientists.

Two years later, this time, we have a guy called Svend Norgard Not the Brentford Mildefielder Anyway He is living in a place In Jutland In Denmark

And once again As he's digging He's doing his peat work Blah blah blah He hits another body Oh no A perfectly Intact

Body Oh he's getting scary What is going on? But normally you think if they're in water, they'd all be like destroyed, wouldn't they? They'd like melt away and stuff. It's not worth it. Carry on.

This body was known as the Grubble Man. It clearly shows signs of being executed, possibly by a stabbing or similar violence. His facial expression is remarkably serene, adding to the mystery of the death.

So he was found like this. I thought Serene was like... Serene is calm. Serene is calm. Okay, well, he was found like this.

That's not calm, is it? No, Serene, he was found like this. He was mewing. He's smiling. Anyways, guys, we move swiftly on to the year. E.N.E. So he's glad for me. He was like this. He was mewing. He's smiling. Anyways, guys, we move swiftly on

to the year. E-N-E. So he's glad to die. N-E, yeah, yeah. There you go. Can't peaceful us. That's two bodies found. So we're already not true.

That's two bodies found, okay? Rewind 30 years ago. Rewind? What do you mean rewind? What do you mean rewind? I haven't told you about. 1920 is the year. And this time,

Hjortbjörnspring. All right, let's not be offensive. That's how you say it. Hjortbjörnspring. Hoiberg. Hoiberg. This time,

they are working in another bog. Hjortbjörnspring. And they find a canoe. Wow. Along with weapons and human remains.

Oh my God. That's so scary. This time they get the Danish archaeologist come in and look at this. This is 1920, by the way. Oh, what?

Okay. This is now three... Do you ever listen? He said 30 years before. Yeah. This is now three instances. So let's all take a guess shall we can i just ask why you didn't start with that because because the bodies were more important

than the canoe than a couple of remains so what is it where does everyone chronologically that's a different order what does everyone think happened to these bodies oh i like i think they're nothing to do with the canoe whatsoever because there's 30 years difference yeah i think he's got fuck i'll do the canoe i think the two bodies that were killed I think it's maybe a serial killer serial killer and he's like buried them and that's his way

of doing it I think this is something that happened like 100 years before and the bog has preserved them from decaying you're an idiot

maybe from like a war or an old burial ceremony no because it's like you're an idiot I don't think there's a serial killer that's separated apart

I think the bog will have contained them from decaying how yeah but worms would eat the skin you are an idiot there's a serial killer that's separated apart. I think the bog will have contained them from decaying. How? No, but worms would eat the skin. You are an idiot. There's not worms inside the bog.

Or parasites and small animals. I bet I'm right. Tell them I'm fucking right. Tell them I hope I... If I'm right, these little twats... How's the human remains in the canoe then, in the same bog?

Because it used to be a lake where they would throw bodies. Oh, it used to be a lake where they'd throw bodies in the old days. So... What were you saying to Lewis? Idiot. Yeah, he is an idiot.

Dummy fuck. There's no way that's right. No one said that. So, all these bodies were sent to a lab to be obviously determined where they come from, what happened, how did they die, how old are they?

I can't wait for this. These remains date back to the Iron Age. Yes! No way Approximately 2,000 Yes! To 2,500 years ago During a time where the area Was inhabited

By ancient Celtic tribes Or early Scandinavian people Mad I fucking told you Do you know why They were so preserved? Go on Because the bog preserves them

The bog's unique properties Particularly its acidic And low oxygen environment, help preserve organic material like skin, hair, and internal organs. So much so that when the bodies went to get examined, the scientists cut open the human body to see its organs. Okay? Which make these bodies so fascinating to archaeologists. Often the bodies are found in

a state of remarkable preservation showing the details of their clothing hair and facial features facial features sometimes even their tattoos were still on their body what's the canoe got to do with everything then the canoe was also found to be preserved from the bronze age not the iron age the bronze age you think about the in bog, there's not like in dirt where there's air coming in. A bog is like... The reason why they had

mistletoe and all these stuff and the canoe itself was through rituals and most likely human sacrifices. Oh, okay. I didn't get that bit. So you're telling me

poo's been preserved in that for 2,000 years or whatever you said. Poo? You said human feces, didn't you? Remains. So like body parts.

I actually think that is a fantastic fuck because I'm in a struggle to be a good thing. How bad is that? And they're called the bog bodies of Denmark. Damn.

That is very interesting and I do apologise for calling you an idiot. You are an idiot but I thought that was a really stupid suggestion. It sounds like it can't be true but it's very true.

Well, I would have thought there's worms and fucking... That is very, very interesting. That is a 10 out of 10. This is what we find out it's that is a 10 out of 10 i think this is what we find out it's not real the bodies of oh 500 bog bodies

fucking hell that's you didn't say that well these are the three most famous cases what what would the canoe be famous because the canoe has been found from the

bronze age which is kind of like nothing really exists i've envisioned a very different canoe to that's so fucking cool you've got any images of them? I don't know.

It's so interesting that they'd be like, oh God, I picture them looking better than that. Well, I picture them looking a lot better than that.

I thought it was going to be like just me, fresh. That's now been taken out of the bog into real air. Oh, but you can see the wrinkles on the face. I think these are casts

of them. Yeah, they are. That's metal or stone, isn't it? No, they're not going to be the real face. I think these are casts of them. Yeah, they are. You've seen the cast. That's metal, that's stone. No, they're not going to be the real bodies. And then as soon as it hits air, it starts to deteriorate, won't it? Very interesting. That is fucking cool.

Right. That is very cool. I will try and beat that. Here we go. Right, you're a fucking alien, right? So, why are they dancing? I thought it was the dancing plague of 1940. We're in Bolivia now.

Okay. An explorer is out and about looking around. It's his job. He's a bit of a mad head. What year is this? Honestly, I don't know. It's not old. It's like 1960s or something.

I don't know. Where is Bolivia, Lou? Guessing. South Africa? South America, I mean. South Africa. So, anyways. So, you don't know where is Bolivia Lee guessing South Africa South America South Africa so anyways so you don't know when it is

nah trust us just a guess let's not be nasty let's give it you know that's meant to be a fact he gave us that's not the important

part of the fact and did other English pronunciations he left out 497 of the other bodies mate yeah that's pretty, yeah. Yeah, that was pretty mad.

Anyways. Yeah, serial killer that killed 500 people. He's a bit of a character, this guy. You know, in his field, not too respected. Sort of overlooked. What's his name? He's just a geezer. Call him Terry.

So you don't know his name. Don't know when he is. Oh, this is your story, bro. Terry from Bolivia, by the way. The problem is, guys, I read this. It's called Jorge. Okay. Jorge is looking about

And he comes across this tribe in Bolivia Whereabouts in Bolivia? I don't want to tell you that yet I'll tell you later Let's just let me tell it You're jumping ahead in the story He's in the jungle somewhere I just wanted some facts

So they're in Bolivia He comes across this tribe And they're all dancing and they invite him in they're all this is friendly tribe yeah yeah

are they dancing can you show us you know yeah no fair enough yeah oh my god anyway they have like

this festival it's like a yearly festival that they do and not only are they dancing you can think of making this up but they have like a big orgy as well

genuine like sex dance where do you find this yeah where's that Bolivia how good at dancing do you have to be to join the orgy

I'm pretty good at dancing clearly not yeah yeah yeah anyways he asked them he was like why do you dance like what is it

and like they were like I don't know would you say they went to them and they were like you do this every year so he speaks their language yeah Lou would you say you went to them like they're like you do this every year and you dance he speaks their language yeah yeah lou would you say you went to them well he's a he's literally an explorer he knows the language of where he's exploring too i didn't hear that sorry um and he's like i don't worry he's like no you have no idea why you dance

you do this every year and you they've been doing this for like as far as every generation has danced on this day yeah and he goes to the leader. He's like, we have no idea. We've forgotten through the generation. So naturally, but they do it anyways. It's just this thing. And it was this really irked him. And he's like, fucking hell, I need to know how you, why you're dancing. He goes home.

He sort of gets on with it. Whatever life goes on. Really quickly. Sorry to say it happened once a year. Once a year. Once a year. Okay. What day?

Don't know. Meanwhile, he has like a rival in the field of science and he's like doing some research um looking into like supernovas and he discovered like this champagne he realized he discovered like the supernova that was like the biggest in history like the theory was about he's a supernova? A dying star. A star implanting on itself. But like, yeah, it's a massive explosion where you can see it from Earth. Right, yeah, go on. And this would have been so big,

it would have been like a huge bright star in the sky. And not only that, the radiation from it, his theory was that the radiation from that excelled our evolution. And not only that,

the star itself caused us to stop being hunter-gatherers and look at the stars and then start diverging into science. And so his theory was this supernova was the greatest discovery, greatest thing that ever happened in human history, but he could only prove it by dating it to this civilization who created farming and stuff.

So he was like, oh shit, how am I going to fucking do this? Did the Romans start farming? No. Apparently not. like oh shit i'm gonna fucking do this did the romans start farming no um the the people who did it were the meso pomata pomatia mia potamia mesopotamia yeah mesopotamia um but so they were like right we need to prove this we see the supernovas here we need to prove that this supernova happened at the same time as this these people who created everything essentially started doing that right

how are we going to do that we find some paintings on that and the walls yeah because there'll be an extra star in the sky when they draw there'll be extra planet yeah they would have felt it's a planet they're not just supernova yeah they go out on the science world and like right fucking anyone got cave paintings knocking about where's the extra dot on the wall in a cave no no no no one has a clue no one has a clue and it's all like looking like uh he's on on a dream here and comes this traveler guy rivals traveling man did we call him or something no here we go paddy or kenny um he comes in he's like i've traveled the world i know where yeah we didn't go to the dancing tribe oh fuck did they know did they

wait he's requested him and he's like I don't know he's like trust me at this dancing tribe place I'm sure I've seen something

like you're looking for I saw the dot I saw the dot on the wall don't you run about so he's like do you know what fuck it I've got no option now

I'm going to go over there so he goes over to Bolivia and there in the wall there's this cave and by the way these drones that they do like they're accurate in terms of there's this cape haven and by the way these these drawings that they do like the accurate in terms of the spacing is like yeah makes sense because the stars were so bright back then it was like ridiculous because no light pollution and he's like fucking hell you

have just proved this huge theory and not only that that's why the tribe were dancing they weren't dancing for no reason they were dancing celebrating a supernova that happened and they did it yearly forever and without knowing it this tribe was dancing celebrating the biggest event in human history without even knowing it question quick question i've got a question i nearly fell asleep this tribe you know when all right that's that's that's very interesting lou i thought that is interesting but can i ask you the thing you've been done sorry i want to but this guy's a bit at the end this tribe this tribe has been dancing for generations never never knew why having fucking orgies for generations and without realizing they were celebrating the biggest event ever which is why we're here now all right so they discovered so they discovered this supernova in the sky like what in like cavemen sort of times right

then just yeah well they saw yeah so that's when they started dancing since caveman times right so how do they get the date right when they didn't have a calendar because they can age the pair uh no no no but if they're dancing on this day every year how do they know what day they they can tell off the stars but they would have discovered this started dancing every year without having a Bulgarian calendar. You realise... Is it a Bulgarian calendar? You can tell the seasons

and years off the stars. And this is what we're seeing. This supernova caused them to start looking up and searching for the time. But they wouldn't have had any concept of a year or anything. I think you're...

You see what I'm saying? No, no, no. The dancers... You're thinking of a calendar. The dancers have done it every year since it happened. They haven't had to keep track. They just do it. But how do they know?

They know when they... Literally speaking, it's the 5th of July. Okay? It's the 5th of July. They're dancing. There's certain stars that you'll only see at certain seasons of the year because we're orbiting the sun. So you're getting a different view of certain stars.

But how do these paint men blokes write that down? Because the stars is how they mapped everything. It's how they knew where they were. Like, they think how bright it was. You can see the Milky Way. My question,

I wasn't being rude. So, my question to you is, if that is the biggest discovery in human history, why is, why is listening to Lewis Bowden talk about this fact

the first time I've ever heard that? Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, it's almost, we don't get tired. The most important thing that's ever been've ever heard that. Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, it's almost... We don't get taught. The most important thing that's ever been discovered in human history is being...

It's crazy. ...divulged by you. Yeah. Why don't we get taught in school? I don't know. Is it because it's not a fact? It's absolutely true. That's what I'm questioning.

That's what I'm interested in. Type in... Can you type in... Bolivian dance... Can you type in supernova and then mesopotamia? He has put in Bolivian tribe Can you type in Supernova And then Mesopotamia He has put in Bolivian tribe Supernova

Nothing there Saying that it's The most important Discovery of all time What you want it In the first line This is actually Like a massive

Massive thing That I've had to Condense down It's science bitch Is it considered One of the most Violent events In the universe

Yeah mate This supernova Was absolutely Immense This changed The whole course of human history. George Makhanovsky. Because, number one, the radiation that we got off it developed our evolution.

You say this right. And also, it turned our attention to the skies and stars and we're like, whoa. I get you. This in the sky would have been fucking like a second moon. It'd be epic. But also, you're saying this did determine the human history and how we progress faster right but did is a fact but this is not like how do they prove that

this did do that it's a scientific theory theory yes yeah but it's a fact that it's a theory yeah no scientific theory isn't the same as like it's a fact that it's a theory a scientific theory isn't the same as like... It's the fact that it's a theory. A scientific theory is usually very different. Well, it is very different to just a theory. A scientific theory will have like, they'll have done tests. There'll be a lot of meaning behind it. I want to know what sort of like tests and stuff they put into this research.

So the way you probably won't even understand it. You can age the supernova and age the painting and match those times up. So when can we see these paintings? I don't know. I haven even understand it. You can age the supernova and age the painting and match those times up. So when can we see these paintings? I don't know. I haven't seen it. But I just don't think it's interesting that like, so you sort of look back at like

people who live ways that aren't as sophisticated as us. But little did we know they are celebrating something that we don't know about. Why isn't this guy recognised? There it is. There's the painting.

Oh my God. Mate, you're reading HuffPost for scientific theory. I mean... Why is this... It's not really... Why is this guy not acknowledged more in... Wow, that's detailed. Human, like, importance.

Supernova, guys. That is detailed. That must be the supernova. We're getting shorn in a cap. You know the guy that discovered this all? Why is he not acknowledged more in general conversation of being an importance to human discovery? There's a lot of things that don't get spoken about.

Don't worry, I've got another fact. Why is it the first time we're hearing about it? I've got another fact that's even more mental than that. And you're going to think, how the fuck do we not know about this? I think they're both quite interesting. Yeah, they're pretty good guys. I'm not 100% on the validity of yours. It's true.

However, I do believe it, but I'm going to give Theo the vote. Mine has orgies. Yeah, Theo's just pretty good. I'm going to give the vote to Lewis. Damn. It was a hard one to beat

though today, so I liked it. Oh, what? Oh. Mine had orgies with the people in the box. He's lying now. Okay.

Well done, Theo. 1-1. Drew an orgy. Time for the quiz. I don't know the current scores. I don't know. I'm winning. Oh, no.

Yeah, it's New Year. You actually, no, Reeve won it yesterday. No, I won it last week. Oh, you've won one. Reeve's won one. Theo's on zero. Is it New Year, new scores? Yeah.

Wait, no, you didn't. Yeah, I did. I got double points. That was Hux. So you actually came second. Shit. Also, I did say Drake, and you didn't. Yeah, I did. I got double points. That was hacks. So you actually came second. Shit. Also, I did say Drake and he didn't let me

get the answer. Yeah, we've only done one quiz. Yeah, he was right. Which was correct. Yeah. He won. I actually outsmarted the quiz. Yeah.

Question. Makes me question everything. My buzzer noise is orgy. Two syllables. Fucking hell. Orgy. Mine's bog.

Ready? Quiz. How many faces does a dodecahedron have? Orgy. Quiz. orgy two syllables fucking hell orgy Lance Bog ready quiz how many faces does a dodecahedron have orgy quiz that was 17 incorrect

I think that was Theo and are you going to answer 100 no 12 yes 100 do you know how big

that shape would have to be it would be absolutely massive here we go I mean I'm not going to say anything but what art form is described big that shape would have to be it would be absolutely massive here we go this you i mean i'm not gonna say anything but what art form is described as decorative handwriting or handwritten lettering calligraphy correct oh very good question number three shit how many dots appear... 100. No. On a pair of dice. Bog. That would be 35.

Incorrect. Can I add it up? No. 24. Incorrect. I need an answer. I'm sorry, 22. 19.

No. 21. 21. No. One more guess each. You're counting it up. No. 19. No. 21. No. What? One more guess each. You're counting it up. Orgy. 18.

No. I've worked it out. It's 42. It is 42. You said a pair. You said a pair, not a single. A pair. Yeah.

Oh. I would have been wrong. I still said 19. I worked out one. Yeah. So, 2-1-0. You're probably... December 26th is known by what name

in Ireland? Oggy. Bog. I need an answer. Spuds. Shut up. Boxing Day? No.

St. Stephen's Day? Yes. St. Stephen's? Yes. I only know that because of the race. And the song, Good Thing Wenceslas Looked Out. Oh, is that their song?

Yeah. So it's 3-1-0. You need the last... I mean, it's question number five and number six will be double points. So you need something here. What phone company produced the 3310? Oddy.

That's easy. Samsung. That would be... I Oji. That's easy. Samsung. That would be... I said that. That was me. I went first. VAR that. I said quiz before.

That was me. I don't know. No, it wasn't. You know it was me. It was definitely me. I finished bog before you finished quiz. No, I didn't. I finished first there.

I probably finished first. Look back on the... All right, say three, two, one. Say it together. All right. Ready? Tom, we're going to say it together. Three, two, one didn't. I've been first there. I've probably been first. Look back on the... All right, say three, two, one, and say it together. All right. Ready? Tom, we're going to say it together. Three, two, one.

Nokia. Guys, no one gets the point. Nice. Oh, well, come back in then. Which day of the week... Wait, what was it? ...does the Jewish Sabbath begin? Arty.

Bog. Tuesday. No. Sunday? No. Saturday. No. Arty.

Bog. Friday. Yes! No. Sunday? No Saturday? No Friday Yeah No I thought Saturday is the Sabbath Tom what was the actual phone company? Was it Samsung? No Nokia obviously Oh it was You can't both get a point though

Alright I don't know how that works Wait You both can't get a point though So it's 3-1-1 And the last question Well no no no No you can't both get a point though Can you?

I'm not giving you both a point I said VAR You said no Was that at the same time? When you're both get a point though, can you? I'm not giving you both a point. I said VAR and you said no at the same time. We're not getting a point then? 0 for 5 each. No. What is the world's largest retailer? Orgy. Bog.

Why are you laughing? Because you're not going to give it. Yeah, I will. You bet. If you get this, I'll give you 10 points. Oh, I know the name, but I can't remember what it's called. It's American. Right.

Oh my God. What's it called though? Oh, I know what it's called. Stop stalling, man. No, actually, no. It's like, it's the big thing over in America. All right. I can't remember what it's called.

Yeah, call it. That's your answer then. You know what I mean though, don't you? You actually do know what I mean. Walmart. Yes! Wait, did you not? You actually do know what I mean. Walmart. Yes! Wait, how did you not know? 10 points!

10 points! That's Asda, isn't it? If he says no. Walmart is Asda. No, it's right. It's genuinely right. I'm not joking. You've won the quiz.

Lovely. Yes! Yeah, because he sold everything in the american i thought you were gonna say amazon yeah now they're not retail though are they well and you are right they own asda as well yeah yeah that owns them no walmart so the winner of the quiz is lewis uh theo loss of your dances why because he got 10 points yeah oh god i'm surprised it took you that long to work out yeah that I'm going to have to call VAR

and have a look at that we'll do one more question no no no I'm happy with it but like we'll do one more question and it's for 20 points deal

look you took 10 minutes to answer that well it doesn't matter I still don't lose hang on so I could lose here yep yeah this is bull you're not

you're not I'll twist you into it hey sometimes I just like to fucking mix it up. Oh, Christ. All right. Lock in, boys.

Lock in. Right. Remember when he was ill, by the way? I'm going to die. What is the largest Spanish-speaking city in the world? Mexico City. We've done this one, haven't we? I think we have. We have, yeah.

Sorry. No, we have. We have. When have we done that? We've already done it. We have. This is the same quiz I do every week, but there's 160.

I'll remember asking it. So I had to give you clues. No, genuinely. Yeah, I remember. We did. We have not done that. We did. We did.

You know we haven't done that. You gave him a chance with the 20 points and he's complaining. What happened to the quiz master? He's winking, saying, yeah, we haven't done that. What happened to the quiz master? He's always right.

Oh, you fucking prick. Maybe don't give him the opportunity for the blind question. We haven't done that. I might have Christmas is always right oh you fucking prick maybe don't give him the opportunity for the blind question we haven't done that I might have to take some off oh my god I wouldn't treat the

Christmas like that I've been cut two weeks in a row I'm sorry you have to put up with that what city thank you what city is known

as the eternal city RG Jerusalem no Rome correct I've lost that was only for one

point the previous one for 20 points. No, no. He's lost. No, you ended up losing. Apparently, yeah. Because you gave him 20 points. All right, I'll do... I'll make it fair.

I'll do one more question for 1,000 points. No, don't throw... Why are you throwing me back into the shit? I'm the big and happy Mormon from Walmart. I know you're throwing me back in the shit. I'm winning. I've got two right there. Mexico City there next city i've answered the most right he's robbed me of this he doesn't get this right he loses you're tearing the field in what capital would you find the little mermaid I know this Go on Atlantis The answer is Copenhagen

Correct You went there You just rigged it for me to lose I've seen it You said it You said it I've tried to rig it for Theo to lose And you fucked it up

You give him 20 points I give you 10 points Yeah Another point You lost And then you give him another question You have just said A city

From fucking like Marvel It does exist. We've spoken about this. Right. So Lewis has got to dance again. Okay. What is it? What is it the capital of then?

Atlantis? Yeah. What country? Where's fucking Aquaman from again? Atlantis. The Arctic Ocean. Shangon? Shagon?

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